22/06/03

and i thought i'd get enough sleep last night.
i went to bed around 1am, and woke up at 6am, and just couldn't get back to my dreams. although, that's probably a good thing - most of my dreams were highly cthulhoid and most disturbing.
i suppose listening to hard rock / speed metal while one sleeps isn't the best idea after all.

i did some studying after getting up this morning - please read my latest addition to the mental masturbation section.

the woman i was meant to meet with today cancelled on me again. her brother's just returned from australia/new zealand, so it's justified, but still annoying.
i've got some dread work to do, and then i'm going to find out if i have a chance of actually doing the work on the drivers...

*** later ***

well, let's see. i finally replaced my cd-rom drive. with a burner, for which i now need to find the correct drivers (oh sweet, sweet irony). i bought extra ide cable so i can add an actual cd-rom reader, now i just have to install the damn thing.
i hate working with hardware.

i played an hour and a half of starcraft multiplayer with sammy. my god, even he kicks my ass! although not as badly as hido or sandman. i actually got a chance to build up and attempt to defend myself.

i have seen command & conquer: generals, and it is good. i now have a copy in my possession. it remains to be seen if it will, in fact, install.
i doubt it though.

i have to go shopping now, and then it's back to studying. tomorrow morning's the crap exam - i'm really not looking forward to it.

21/06/03

i am absolutely exhausted.
i got some studying done today - i learned a lot more about drivers, and i understand some more macroeconomics. the only use for which, at least that i can see, being simcity 2000.
but i don't know why i'm so sleepy - nay - lethargic.

her exhibition starts in less than an hour, so i'm about to get ready; i only hope i won't do anything embarrassing there. like passing out cold to the floor.

finding call of cthulhu stuff is difficult.

*** later ***

the exhibition was nice - i'd already seen all her photo's, but i didn't expect to see so many interesting ones - some of them were absolutely crazy!

so now i've got to get some more studying done. i'm really not enjoying this. it's still hot at 22.20... and humid.
yippee.

actually, i'm feeling much better now, so i suppose i really don't have too much to complain about. i just can't think of much to write, and i feel like writing. but i have neither the time, nor the material. or, at least, my material's spread out so thin that at this rate it'll take years to produce a couple of paragraphs.
feel sorry for me, please. after all, that IS what this is all about.

20/06/03

as was to be expected, nothing happened today.

i watched goodfellas last night (first time - ag shame), and i must say it was most pleasing. very long, but very good.
so i got to bed around 2, or 3am. i woke up around 10am, and finished reading othello.

HEY! i just realized why the game (reversi) is called othello!!
anyways, i must admit that i'd kind of ignored the fact that it's called a tragedy. i was expecting a happier ending. but it's still a great read, and i do feel more educated.

she came over for a while. and then i went shopping.
i bought blueberry, uhh, confiture (konfyt). why can't they just call it jam? there must be a good reason.
so i'm stocked and ready for the weekend. i'm expecting some heavy-duty relaxation, and maybe i'll get some studying done at some stage - i have two exams this week (monday and tuesday), and although i'm not ready for them at all, i'll be sure to do sweet bugger-all anyway.

i just remembered i need to find call of cthulu rules and stuff. beginning search...
search in progress.
hmm. found some interesting looking stuff.
thank you kazaa.

i'm going to take a nap.

19/06/03

what a mess! i came in to work this morning, intending to check mail, brush up on what i learned the other day, screw around, and leave around 13.00, in time to sort out the trouble i'm in with my social security.

that's not how it happened.
it's now 15.00, and instead of learning how to handle event preparations at work, i had to do the damn thing for real. and i ran into a few problems, and got stuck here sorting them out.
on the plus side, i now know exactly how to do it, and i've repeated the process four times so i can be considered experienced.
wonderful. i'm so excited.
but it does mean that i actually earned the money i'm getting for today, which is always a satisfying feeling.

so now it's time to find out if i can rescue my day.
*SINKING FEELING*

*** later ***

well, well. that sinking feeling was intuitive - the person i needed help from (with the social security) was in a meeting all day, so that idea got blown out the water.

basically, every month they're adding on NIS 300 (R450) because i haven't paid them for the months that i wasn't working (because those dipshits don't realize that i wasn't earning any money).
they told me to send them a form to clear the debt (because they know it's bullshit to charge interest on nothing), but the longer it takes to sort this out, the more i owe, and i just can't get hold of them.
and nobody understands why some people just snap and go on machine-gun rampages.
so i see lots of screaming over the phone in my near future (they're lucky they're in a different city). but DAMN i hate beaurocracy, and DAMN i hate stupid people.

fortunately, the person who was in a meeting has graciously invited me to breakfast tomorrow morning, after which we'll sort this out. the reality is that i really shouldn't deal with this myself, as my command of the hebrew language leaves much to be desired - especially under pressured circumstances.
speak softly and carry a big stick? i want a BIG FUCKING GUN.
and a bullhorn.

i'm off to get some food and then i'm probably (around 90%) going to taekwondo.
which i'm not in the mood for. i just wanna chill.

*** later ***

my god. taekwondo almost killed me. i'm completely, utterly exhausted.
on the plus side, we didn't do any work on flexibility, so i can still walk, but we worked hard nonetheless. we fought for more than half an hour, and then we practised technique.
i need a hot shower, and then a masseuse with some fragrant oils. but that last part just ain't gonna happen.
*sob*

i just wish my training outfit didn't smell so bad - i have nowhere to put it. i'm blaming the climate for my being this disgusting... i actually found it strange when i trained in south africa, because i'd go hard for an hour without so much as breaking a sweat.
damn desert.

*** later ***

i just KNEW i was forgetting something important. i've been informed that i can sign up to play in a call of cthulu LARP in the streets of tel aviv!
ohmigod!
that's so cool!
the guy who told me about it is going to help me sign up, and then i have to learn all about the "other" great lord of the dark. the LARP's divided into three parts, and he's already played in the first. the description he gave was most enticing: i really hope this'll all fall into place.

and there was one other thing... mmmm....
nope. can't remember. good night.

18/06/03

i'm still feeling messed up - i think i'm getting dumber as each moment passes. i'm beginning to worry that i'm rapidly losing brain cells.

the ddk shite is going quite well: i actually understand the basics of how drivers work, and now i'm moving on to the how-to's.
i tried to play multiplayer rogue spear today, but it sucks on the ps.
i did play a lot of tekken though. my studies are going so well!

i just got back from a show put on by grade 9's to celebrate their leaving middle school. it was definitely interesting, but i've forgotten what it's like to be a teenager.
weird.

17/06/03

taekwondo never happened last night.
starcraft never happened last night.
learning ddk never happened last night.

what did happen is

*** yesterday ***

i got home, fell asleep for about an hour, and then when i tried to leave my apartment i almost passed out. my head was spinning and i was feeling really drained, and then i got semi-delusional.
so i decided i was sick and went back to sleep.

she came over late and brought a huge container filled with tortilla chips and doritos, and stayed with me for a bit. when she left i passed out, and

*** today ***

woke up this morning, around 8/9am.
i started looking at the ddk, which is a hell of a lot more complex than i expected - but so far it seems manageable.

i also played some starcraft: i'm on level 7! all by myself! with no cheating!
this is a first for me, so i'm a little excited.
and not in the least bit embarrassed about being so. so there.

i also finished the latest wheel of time book, so i'm going to begin reading shakespeare (finally!).

i'm right now at the university, sorting some stuff out, and then it's off to collect some belongings from my previous apartment, where there're new people moving in who don't care for my needs.

which means i'm about to lose even more space in my room, where i can barely move as it is.
great.

*** later ***

it turns out there was very little for me to take, as i fortunately get to leave my fridge and oven there. i had to take my posters, which i wanted to get anyway, and two whiteboards, which i kinda needed. to go with the markers, of course.

when i got home, i found to my dismay that i was still feeling all messed up, and reached a conclusion (a tad late, but then, i'm a tad slow).
i have sunstroke.
from sunday.
and of course i'm feeling shitty. at least i've been drinking plenty of water, but sleeping hasn't been helping and i was getting worried.

as for the ddk: i realized after studying the stuff for a couple of hours that while i understand the language (it's pretty much standard c++ with some funky macros and pre-compiler trash), understanding precisely what these things are doing is a bitch. it seems that i actually have to understand ALL the details of how drivers work even to get the general idea of these things, so i'm stuck reading the (un)help(ful) files.
thank you, microsoft.

on a slightly different note - i've run into an obscure problem. i'm currently on level 7 of starcraft, and one of the mission objectives is to drop raynor off somewhere. but i kinda lost him. i think he's dead, but then it's supposed to tell me i failed the mission. so now i'm just confused.

i've been on a diet for a few days now - no sweets or chocolate, so i rewarded myself tonight by eating one of these tiny hamburgers made of chewy gum. it was most pleasing.

grootbek got bitten really badly last night by mosquitoes, so now that it's agreed i'm not the only one vulnerable, we're chipping in for a zapper.
yay!
and tech tv and the music channels are back. so i suppose it's been a good day, all things considered.

16/06/03

gosh, darn. my body hurts. like hell. hell hurts. i think.

i woke up this morning at 07.30 or so because my niece was coming to drop some stuff off with me. because she's going to south africa soon.

i'd complain, because i don't have enough space for my own belongings, but the truth is i'm rather happy that she's dropped off a beanbag, which i get to use for a while.

i just finished training at work - i got it all without any trouble, but i now have to hang around in order to make up hours, and all i've done with the potential writing drivers job is install the development kit.
at least it's a step, but i was led to believe that there's some time pressure, so i hope that i get a chance to play with it today.

on the plus (sic) side, i discovered last night (about 1am) that i remember c++ completely. i was worried that it'd been so long that i'd forget.

*** later ***

well, minutes later, even.
we just got back from lunch, which consisted of (for me) two eggrolls and corn soup. rather nice.
my brain's kinda shut down... i don't know what it is. maybe it's the lack of sound sleep that's finally getting to me.
naaah.

i just remembered that i still have to finish that contract i was doing - just started checking the site. i kinda haven't touched it in a while, so i hope that the guys aren't mad at me. especially seeing as they've paid me already.
DUM DUM DUM (scary soundtrack here).
i'm definitely, definitely going to have to get some sleep in before taekwondo tonight.

15/06/03

we bought a hub, but the flatmate (we've begun referring to him as grootbek) with the internet connection is running windows xp, so no dice on me having access from my machine.
and he's being a prick right now, so he won't let me use his, so not only can i not check email frequently, but i can't update this from home.

*** yesterday ***

i went to bed early on friday night, and woke up about 3am. i couldn't sleep - my body was killing me after the seminar. i also had the munchies, so after lying in bed for ages pondering, i finally got up for a midnight snack.
and watched the late show with david letterman. i've never seen it before, and i have to say that it's really not that funny.
kinda sad really. but then, that's americans for you!

i woke up around 09.30, and spent the day studying. with one short excursion to the beach. and we nipped into the mall to play air-hockey, and they had pang!! i haven't played it in years, and had forgotten the name, but i used to play it every day after school, and i've missed it.
check it out under fun stuff on my favourites page.

i got a call yesterday morning from a guy who wants some work done with drivers: i've been trying to figure out how to make them for a while now, and he's sent me the development kit so i can play with it. neat, huh?

*** today ***

my exam in marketing research begins in little over an hour, and i KNOW that i'm not ready. so i'm just going to pray and see.
on the plus side, however, no matter how badly the exam goes, SxS and i are going to the skate park today. we've decided to rent the protective gear, and we both reckon there's going to be some broken body bits, but i'm rather excited.

<BONG>
<BONG>
<BONG>
there are bells tolling in my head. i'm gonna go see if someone can help me.

*** later ***

oh my god! that was AWESOME!
we went to the skate park right after the exam. just so's you know, the exam sucked... i guessed about 3/4 of the questions. on the plus side, it's multiple choice so there's still a chance i passed :P.

anyways, we got there and skated for about an hour. a gruelling hour, as it was upwards of 33 degrees, and the sun was blazing. i actually got a tad burned.
i didn't really hurt myself much, a couple of scrapes here and there, but i learned how to do the basic "go up, turn around" on the half-pipe, and i'm feeling pretty chuffed.
i absolutely sucked on the rails - i just can't seem to slide. i even had to push myself with my hands :).

unfortunately, though, i didn't have the guts to try to drop into a ramp. too damn steep for me. next time - it's just that i've been so scared of doing it since i was a kid, and i'm still afraid.
although i did do one thing today that scared me: i went backwards over some stairs. that was okay. i was shaking horribly afterwards, but i did it.

the bottom line though is that i had a lot of fun - it was well worth the NIS 40 (about R80) for entrance and protective-gear-rent. but we're going to start going frequently, so i need to get my own.

afterwards we went to our friend's place with the pool, and swam. it was really refreshing - the guys got upset with me for the stupid grin i was wearing.

then we took the girl who came with us home to tel-aviv. she lives in this really naff apartment, overlooking one of the main streets. i dig that. we had some food, and watched tech-tv's x-play, which i reckon is the best place for game reviews: you actually get to see them being played.
it's 20.00. i just got back home (grootbek's not here), and until she visits (she's setting up for an exhibition at the moment, i'm sure i mentioned that she's an excellent photographer), i'm going to be playing starcraft and sleeping.
a wonderful combination, in my book.

so, for anybody who's had a crappy day today, i have only one thing to say:
sucks to be you.

13/06/03

*** yesterday ***

i left work at around 14.00 - 15.00 yesterday, slept for about 45 minutes, and then i bladed to taekwondo. where we stretched so much that we cried.
and then began training.
i got home late last night, after walking (well, blading really slowly) one of the kids from our gym back home. he doesn't speak much english, so it's good practice for me.
i had a shower, she came over for a bit, she left, i crashed.

*** today ***

i got up around 11.00, went shopping for the weekend, and went to a black-belt seminar in kfar saba.
which sucked. i was hurting so badly before, and it's amplified now. i had to rollerblade back from ra'anana because we finished at 17/18.00, so there were no more buses.

and now that i've quite finished abusing the internet, i'm going to bed.

good night to all, and to all...

12/06/03

last night i went with her to see the matrix, and i've updated the mental masturbation section to that effect, and added to my journal.

i went to bed around 01.30, and woke up at 08.00, and then again at 09.00 to come to work. where i am now. working.

11/06/03

*** yesterday ***

i woke up early yesterday morning (around 9/10am) to study. i was having breakfast in front of the tv, and the power of one came on, so after i finished eating i alternated between studying and watching all the interesting bits.
i read the book when i was a kid, so most of the movie wasn't quite the same, but the intense bits, and the fight scenes, were great.
plus it's south africa, and i am a little homesick.

i studied for most of the day, slept maybe an hour and didn't play any games (okay, aside from 20 minutes of tekken after lunch...).
then last night i discovered a section i hadn't heard of, so it was frantic note stealing time.

*** today ***

i just finished writing the exam, and the notes i stole didn't help one iota - i had to leave out 20% of the paper. i really hope i passed, as i can't imagine anything worse than rewriting, but also as i don't think that the army will give me the opportunity.
i've pissed them off enough already.

i'm off home now to go and wash this icky "investment theory" feeling off, and then get some rest.
and maybe play games even. or go rollerblading.

anything but start studying for sunday's "the other big exam".

*** later ***

i didn't get to shower. i got a call from SxS as soon as i walked in, and we went to the industrial zone to rollerblade.
we went to the skatepark there, which is really not bad, and it costs NIS 25 (about R45) for a day. only problem is we need all the pads, or no entrance. :(
we then went to a friends place, swam in his pool, played frisbee, and generally chilled until the friend got home :D.

had drinks, and i was going to eat mielies with them, but i had to come home to shower and get ready - in a few minutes i'm finally off to see the matrix reloaded.

at least we remembered to book tickets.

09/06/03

*** yesterday ***

well, kind of yesterday, anyway. before going to bed last night, i received an sms telling me about the metallica concert on mtv last night. it's the first time i've ever watched them live, so i was really excited, and thoroughly enjoyed it.

*** today ***

i woke up early, bought a scouring pad and attempted to remove act ii double butter stains from our microwave, and this is not an easy task.
quite frustrating, really.
the good, nay, great news is that i finally got starcraft to work! and sammy has a small lan at his place, so we'll begin playing as soon as neither of us are studying.
half-life, too. it's so nice to know i'm not alone.

i received a call at around 11 telling me that i had to come to work today, so i'm there now, but hopefully i'll be able to go home soon, as i've only studied for about half an hour today.
this is not good.

*** later ***

i had to stay at work till after 5, because the guy who's training me got hold of me (for the first time in weeks) and taught me stuff. at least i got paid.
went with her to the park for an hour; got some really good ice-cream and chilled. afterwards i went to sammy's for some half-life. it was fun, but there was a lot of lag, and it took me a while to begin fragging.
i will beat his ass next time. what made a huge difference to the game was that there were only two of us, and we could see each other's monitors. so it was a bit strange... we'll have to fix that.
and now it's study-time again.

i hope i learn enough to justify today. i have no clue how this exam's going to go, but i'm not going to get any more stressed - i'm just gonna do this thing, hoping for the best.

08/06/03

today sucked - piles.
the good news is that i can write the exam on wednesday. the bad news is that i have to write the exam on wednesday.
at least the university's okay with me financially...

our fridge is officially dead, although still on life-support. and none of us can bring ourselves to flick the switch, but we all know the truth. some of the food has come out in protest, but other, more responsible items have been helping to keep everything peaceful and orderly.

i suck at starcraft, which i'm playing for the first time. and i can't play counterstrike online, so the most fun i can have with it is shooting the training targets over, and over, and over again.
whoopee!

Captain Butt Seriously, the studying is breaking me. i have spent so much time trying today and learned so little, it's as if my subconcious mind doesn't WANT to understand this stuff. funny that.
hmmm. i'm going back into the trenches now.

07/06/03

*** yesterday ***

yesterday... was... friday. yes, i think that's right.
i slept for most of it, read a bit more of robert jordan's tenth book, crossroads of twilight, and ate really badly (bread and spaghetti pretty much cover it).
oh yeah, and i downloaded simcity 2000 special edition and started playing around with it. i haven't played that in years, and it's still a great game.

last night i watched dogma for the first time. i really enjoyed it.
she came over, and we watched orgazmo. she didn't enjoy it.
funny that.

*** today ***

i was meant to be studying today. i have this major exam coming up, for which i'm most definitely NOT prepared, and i just can't sit down and concentrate! it's really frustrating.
i downloaded and started playing starcraft (i never really got into it before), and was just beginning to have fun when the game crashed out, claiming a missing sequence file as the fault.
i can't seem to find any help online, so if anybody reading this has a clue, please send me the aforementioned clue so that i can be happy and fulfilled.

so basically, it's a beautiful day, which i'm missing for absolutely nothing, but i can't go outside because i need to study. this lying to myself is both pointless and painful. but i really do need to study.

bleah.

*** later ***

i just finished watching back to the future part iii, and DAMN, it's hard to believe that they made those films so well back then, that they still can't really match them these days.
they just have a certain feel to them that's so right, even if the special effects aren't, by today's standards, amazing.
where did we go wrong?

before that, my mommy called and gave me an injection of "stop fucking around". she's 100% correct, i don't have enough faith in myself when it comes to studies. all crap aside, it's time to get down and get this shit into my head.
i WILL pass this exam.
let's just hope i still feel this way tomorrow. anyway, if i don't update this site for a couple of days, you'll know why. although the chances of that happening are slim to none. it's just an excuse for me to be lazy.

05/06/03

i woke up this morning bright and way-too early. i had a big, wonderful breakfast, and then ruined the mood by going to training.
after about two minutes training i managed to lock up my neck, completely. so my range of motion has been reduced to "forward".
but i had to carry on: i trained from 10 to 12.40. i was hurting badly by the end, and was absolutely drained and drenched. we're currently experiencing temperatures upwards of 30 degrees (celsius), with high humidity - so let's just say running around and fighting in these conditions (not to mention with a lot of neck pain) is not quite desirable.

so i had sambusak ("sum-boo-suck", a strange form of pastry) and ice-cream for lunch, and ran into a couple of friends. chilled in the shade for a while, drinking virgin colours (it's so nice to have those here now), and talking loads of crap.

i went with her to a barmitzvah today. she was the photographer - it was an interesting experience. it was a very pleasant place, and the food was okay, so all in all it was worth the mission.
after we returned, i finally showed her this website. and she finally agreed to a photo - go check out the photo gallery!
i actually have more, but i had to promise not to make those available to anyone... so sorry.
and we have some fridge-quotes: i've put those up under mental masturbation.
it's now 02.12, i think maybe i should disappear.

*POOF*

04/06/03

i finally bought the hub, and we got ethernet cable.
wonderful.
now if only we could get the damn systems to talk to one another, everything would be just peachy-fucking-creamy.
bascially, our genius homeboy from new yawk is running xp, so my 2k system can't log on or use internet connection sharing.
so today's the day the geeks on campus actually provide some real assistance.
that'll be a first, mind.

last night, tekken happened. my flatmate and a friend of ours keep playing, more than i've ever played, yet whenever i join them they can't touch me.
last night our homeboy got all excited because in one of the last rounds i didn't perfect him.
that's fairly sad.
on the crap side of that, SxS still beats me fairly consistently, although i've finally begun putting up a fight (it's only taken roughly a year and a half).

i finally figured out how to finish the counterstrike training mission this morning. i feel like such a putz. but i'm ready to try online - i just need to get net access from my machine (my little pony?).

*** later ***

rant: well, i'm at home now (22.30), and i'm missing THE party of the year for my university.
and i so don't care it's not even funny.
i find it sad and uninspiring to go to parties where lots of snobs and losers get horribly trashed listening to crap music. and i know that everyone who was there is going to tell me i missed something really incredible.
yeah, incredibly BAD.
i almost feel sorry for myself, knowing that there're few parties that i can go to that will satisfy me.
and cheesy house ones are definitely on the list of those that won't.

i got my watch strap adjusted today - and after two attempts it's still too big by a notch.
rhymes with crotch.
i don't know why i felt like saying that.
i'm about to upload a pic of it to My Stuff in the photo gallery. anywho, i went with sammy (a strange nick, but a nick nonetheless) to the mall, and we went shopping for a desk and a mouse. the mouse we found, the desk we didn't, but we came across two things that stood out in my mind.
1. a really naff chair, real leather (i think), with wheels that make it a fine contender for nascar. only prob is the NIS 800 (+- R1500) pricetag.
2. a game called dogs of war. oh - my - god. this looks like THE game. it's a real-time strategy game that can be played from any point of view. and it's beautiful. go find a movie now, the address is in my favourites. (two months later - note: address removed due to crapness of game. pretty, but crap.)

it appears i'm in deep shite as far as my exams are concerned, as in i may not be able to take two of them, which pretty much implies army service beginning july.
which i don't want. i want to go in after my degree, but this is looking to be less and less of an option.
i'm so dramatic i scare myself. literally.
so i've been doing the productive thing: i downloaded all the course material for my exams, and then read webcomics.
for around an hour and a half. maybe two hours, tops - i swear!

it's late for supper time, but i'm going to have a go. tomorrow morning training, bright and chipper. goody, goody, gumdrops.

03/06/03

today is a REALLY sucky day.
in fact, i would just love to get hold of a decent firearm and go nuts throughout the city.
let's just say i'm a tad annoyed.
nay, a mite.

i stayed up until around 2am trying to do the marketing research homework, but eventually i gave up because not only am i lacking in excel skills (although i did learn some nifty shit), but i have absolutely no frikkin' clue how to answer the question.

i then woke up at 7.45, exhausted, hurriedly put on some clothes (including my newly done shirt), and walked to school.
the class (marketing research) was fuck-off boring, and i learned that i'd approached the problem in exactly the wrong way.
great.

i then discovered that almost noone had done the investment theory homework, so everyone was scrambling to copy from those few who had. i have this really dumb thing about only copying what i understand. so i ended up handing in complete and utter crap.

it now seems that i might not be able to write the exam, and automatic failure where it counts the most is not good. so i'm depressed, and frustrated, and aggravated.

our class in corporate law was cool though - not only did i understand, but i could even get in my two-cents' worth... it appears i might be getting a really decent grade on THIS paper at least.

i whiled and wended (sic) my *merry* way home, went shopping for washing powder and spaghetti (staple student diet), and had lunch. i'm now catching up on some webcomics, and should soon be on my *merry* way to buy a hub, so that i can have net access from my bedroom.
we should have done this months ago. we're cheap and lazy.

i'm hoping i can add some good news to this pile of crud soon.

02/06/03

i woke up today at around 10 or 11.
or 12.
one of them, at any rate. i finally got through to the doctor's phone, and discovered that the tests i did on 05/05 all came back, and that i'm not only healthy, but i don't have HIV. good to know!

i bladed to the bank, and discovered that i'm actually going to have money this month, so i can cover my bills and eat AT THE SAME TIME.
wow, that feels good.

off i rolled to the university. this time i'd remembered to take iron-on transfer paper: i printed out the vampire smiley from life of riley.
there wasn't much else to do there, aside from drinking the staff's hot chocolate and learning bits of flash from the guru who resides there.

i then payed my bills (my most annoying flatmate was on campus - and i DIDN'T hit him, as much as i'd love to most-times), and went off to ramat gan to a meeting for all us very important helpdesk operators.

these meetings occur weekly, nobody ever says anything important, and what they do say is in tones to make a lullaby-singing mother jealous.
so i earned some cash, cleared some email, ate a free sandwich, and promptly left.
it's a really nice place to work.

i swear it took HOURS to get home, kinda like in the movie contact (with jodie foster? i never remember) in the transporter-thingy.

i've begun doing the homework for marketing research, which involves an in-depth understanding of regression analysis and ms excel.
neither of which i have.

i took a break, and ironed on my transfer (doesn't that sound weird?), and it came out quite nicely. a picture will be arriving in the photo gallery shortly.

considering the sheer unpleasantness of my current homework situation, it appears i will not be going to training tonight.
hurray.

01/06/03

*** yesterday ***

where was i?
oh, right. i remember now.
i never went rollerblading. i didn't help out my friend with his ms access homework. i studied, a bit. read comics online, and i've now fallen in love with life of riley.
yesterday evening i went with her to watch the matrix ii.
but when we got there half an hour early, a week after opening, there were no tickets left.
which sucked.
so we decided to watch another movie - and settled on phone booth. which was an absolutely WICKED film. really messed up, brilliantly done.

*** today ***

i woke up this morning with all sorts of things to do, and i kinda started on getting them sorted out. mostly to do with the amount i owe my university - more than $6000. which i don't have. and if they won't let me write the exams because of this then the army will take me, and then i DEFINITELY won't be able to pay it.
what a great situation.

so i'm waiting and seeing. i went to our macroeconomics class, and even though it was stuff i couldn't follow it was just as boring as usual - nodded off at one point, and woke myself up by snoring loudly.
that felt wonderful... fortunately everyone was ignoring me, so i didn't feel too bad.

now i'm supposed to go home and study, but i'm not sure that's going to happen. i'll probably pass out and wake up late for taekwondo class.
oh well.

*** today ***

it's 02.24, time for bed. a shower first, and then bed.
taekwondo was good, i had a private lesson again. i stretched and i fixed some mistakes, and learned some more korean.
i also received some good news.

i may be able to get a scholarship for the teaching course in wingate, which was a concern. also, my instructor tells me that she'd be happy to give me permission to teach others, so if i can find students then i can train and make money at the same time.

sweet.

we had a major tekken tournament when i got home, and now we're on our way to get hamburgers, so it's time to go.

and i think i forgot to mention - i finally got hold of counterstrike, so i can get some gametime in.
it's been a VERY long while.

30/05/03

fortunately, i didn't forget my mom's birthday this year! yay me!
here's what's up:

as i said, i trained hard last night - i'm still feeling it quite majorly.

i went to sleep around 3am, woke up at 9am and got to class on time for once. we had a whole bunch of boring presentations, and ours was definitely not the worst.
always nice.
the psychotic american's presentation was done on nelson mandela, and it was a complete load of bollocks. they proposed all sorts of messed up things about him, about how he isn't such a good guy, and that he's a hypocrite. and that really upset me.
he may not be perfect, but he's madiba. fuck them! stupid americans.

she told her parents today. and i've been invited for supper tonight. i'm scared - shaken, and stirred. in fact i don't recall ever being this nervous.
as i think i've said before, if i was her father i'd be waiting outside with a loaded rifle and a big, welcoming smile. i expect no less.

*** later ***

obviously, i was wrong.
it's now 3am, and i'm still alive and kicking. supper was actually quite pleasant - great food in large quantities, and nobody acted as if anything was out of the ordinary.

no outbursts, no funny looks, in fact - no problem.
i feel so much better.

i'm going to arb around on the net for a bit, and then it's time for a visit to dreamy-dream land. tomorrow should be an interesting day - i have exams in eleven days, and i really need to study... i wonder if i'll even remember how?

and of course, i HAVE to go rollerblading tomorrow. what's a day without a decent opportunity to break a limb? they've just opened a skate park in ra'anana, so we're going to go check it out. i'll report back if i'm not stuck in a hospital somewhere.

29/05/03

ugh!
i got to sleep around 7, woke up at 12.10 and arrived at class at 12:35. using my blades. in 40 degree heat.
to discover that class started at 13.00, not 12.30.
i feel SURE i've done this before.

we've just finished one and a half hours of marketing research, studying regression analysis. and he couldn't have been less clear without involving umbrellas and spaceships in his lecture.

i'm tired, bored, and hungry. i have no cash for food today, and investment theory starts soon and will be running till 20.00. which i SO look forward to.
hopefully i'll get to training tonight, seeing as i haven't been in a week and i haven't even tried to stretch since i played basketball (whatever night that was).

the hardest thing for me, right now, is getting these really dumb lullabies out of my head.
*snore*.

i still haven't seen the matrix reloaded, i'm hoping to go tomorrow night. and i'm giving up trying to get hold of movies online. it's just not worth the hassle.
speaking of which, i'd really like to play command & conquer generals, but i know i wouldn't have enough time to enjoy it. this is so sad.
*** WHINE OUT ***

i skipped class after my whine, and went with SxS to a friend's place to swim. today turned into a REALLY ugly day - we had a major dust storm and then it started to drizzle.
but we played frisbee, and swam, and sat around discussing all sorts of arbitrary topics. we even went into religion, and i haven't had an interesting and intelligent conversation about that in a helluva long time.

i then went to training. there were only four of us, so it was up close and personal, and i worked really hard and improved a bit with my flexibility. i'm mere MILLIMETRES away from being able to do girls' splits! (this is really exciting for ME, anyway...)

now that i'm all dirty and smelly, we're planning to go out for supper somewhere - me and my whole 80 cents. i wonder who's paying for me?

28/05/03

today was meant to be a pretty boring day. i was going to get some work done, and go to holon to begin sorting out my driver's license, sleep a bit, and then go to work.

well, i got to work.

i decided at 3am not to go to holon, because i'll probably get lost. so i need someone to either go with me, or tell me EXACTLY how to get to where i'm going. it's not a nice area, and i also don't want to waste time looking for the place i need to be when there's always a crazy queue, and they close at 12.00.

i was going to get some work done, but my flatmate was using the computer when i woke up, and i expected him to get off at some point.
i was wrong.

so i played final fantasy viii. i mean really played, up until now i've spent over 80 hours (not including restarts after 45 hour saves) strengthening my characters and their gf's. sad, but true.
it's such a beautiful game.

it turns out that the people who host the website that i'm working on moved offices this week, and that the company i work for has no idea where they went. so i'm hoping to get hold of them soon, because they screwed up the database and i need it fixed before i can finish...
that's just SO inconsiderate.

i'm at work now, as usual i hope i'll get a chance to work on my journal. and i remembered to bring kopiko, german sweets made with real coffee beans. that shit is seriously effective!

*** later ***

(actually, it's 5am on the 29th)
it's been a long night, but it went well. i screwed up less and was a lot more confident. and i didn't laugh when one guy kept going "mm hmm" at the end of each sentence, like billy-bob thornton in slingshot.

and i'm not so tired. but i've been reading pvp-online whenever there weren't any calls, and i'm thinking again how nice it would be to work for a gaming magazine.
those bastards have all the luck.

27/05/03

*** yesterday ***

yesterday was, uh, interesting.
really.
there was a "festival" concerning all the activist groups and so on, so i'm now considering bone-marrow transplants, and am signing up for a greenpeace type org.
i think.
i think i'm gonna think some more on this.

last night i went with her to a food festival. there was a LOT of food, and really cheap. so we stuffed ourselves with really good graze.
but we parked really far away (lots of people), and so we got home really late.
let's just say running into her father at 01.30 in the morning was, uh, a new experience.
nobody actually SAID anything, but that didn't really make it any easier.

so i got to bed around 02.30, i think, and i had to wake up at 07.45 for a class in marketing research.

i'm bombed.
it's now 10am. the class was okay, considering we had to fight to convince our guest lecturer to speak in english, and i'm about to be late for our class in corporate law.

oh, i'm SO looking forward to this.

*** later ***

i have absolutely no clue what we learned in law. it was phenomenally boring.
i've skipped out on my most important class of the day, and i'm going to take a nap.
so there.

25/05/03

muthafunsta.
the movie i downloaded and burned turned out to be something called thirteenth ghost, or something like that. so not only do i not want to watch it, but i wasted a cd on it as well.

i'm now in the middle of a four hour macroeconomics session, which is completely destroying my brain. i'm extremely grateful that half the material he's going over was in some of my other courses this year, so i actually know what's going on.

i found out this morning that i got accepted into the teacher's course for taekwondo. which is wonderful, except that it costs NIS 5800 (R 10200). yeah, right. *i* can afford that.

*** later ***

i'm still trying to organize 28 days later. i know someone who has it, but i need to trade and i don't have anything he wants. i saw the first few seconds - looks as good as i was told (thanks moonflake!).

i went to orange to whine about my cellphone. it turns out the battery housing was messed up, so they fixed it, but my battery is only running at 60% capacity (doesn't that sound cool?) so i have to replace it. which will cost about R400.
yay.

the electrician came today to fix our boiler. after about half an hour of banging away and generally making a mess, he called a plumber. and the two of them seemed to be having a great time - at one point they were sharing the ladder and working in the same place simultaneously.
never seen that before.

so now we have hot water again, but they left all sorts of interesting creatures lying around (israeli mentality - heaven forbid THEY should clean up their own mess).

went to basketball practice. i seem to be improving, if only slightly. i found someone there to stretch me after the game, and he had a very interesting way of doing it, one that i've never seen before - it seemed to get me a lot further than usual!

so, after my first hot shower in days, i'm going to bed. it's my brother's birthday tomorrow, so i think i'll send him an sms, and it's my mom's in a few days.
mustn't forget this year...

24/05/03

firstly, the movie i watched last night, we were soldiers, with mel gibson, was absolutely brilliant. freaky, disturbing, harsh, and sometimes even remarkably brutal, but brilliant. watch it.
NOW. GO. run to the video store!

i stretched today, but i'm nowhere near the splits. i got far enough by myself that my muscles were shaking like crazy, but i held it. hopefully it'll be good enough in a few days. or i'll lose my legs trying.
to anyone who thinks i'm joking, it's fairly easy to rip all the tendons when you're trying to ignore the pain.
i ate fairly well today - i learned how to boil sausages (gee, how DO i do it?!), and today was infected mushroom day on our cable music channels.

so i had some good music to listen to while i studied the most boring material on the planet (leadership).
and i'm still eating marshmallows with peanut butter. they really are good!

i just finished my paper. what bothers me, is that these bastards basically gave me half the paper to do (there're five of us in the group), but even worse is that the material we're basing our study on isn't relevant, so i had to make stuff up. it's very hard to do that with uninspirational topics, like "resistance to change".

now that i'm done, i'm off to play some pool. on my way downstairs i'm going to put a plastic bag over the water sprinkler, which some jerk-off has aimed almost directly into our apartment, so it gets our clothes on the washing line soaked.
lovely.

*** later ***

i'm on my way to bed. i had a very strange experience: the asshole who's "leading" the group i'm in phoned me to tell me that i'd done a good job. that's very nice, but coming from him it's aggravating. i HATE salesmen, and he's a prime example. what makes it worse is he then asked, politely, if i'd like to do the conclusion as well.
i haven't given him an answer, but so far all i can think of is "fuck no". bastard.

so i've had a nice freezing cold shower, my argentinian flatmate's refusing to do it, so he's boiling water and putting it in a bucket, and piece by piece washing himself with a cloth.
i find this amusing.

i finally aquired the movie 28 days later, it's taken absolute ages. so i'm gonna go watch it now. and then it's dreamy-dream land for me. tomorrow's another long day. with fun filled macro-economics lessons.

23/05/03

the exam for the stripe almost killed me. i left the gym completely broken, and needed a redbull just to make it home.

she spent the night. we got to bed around 5.30, and she needed to be out of here by 8am.
we woke up around 15.00, went shopping, and had major breakfast (eggs, yoghurt, and half a watermelon are more than usual for me).
she did some studying, while i slept (i should have been studying too, but i'm still exhausted), and that pretty much sums up my day.

i failed the stripe exam. but i got a list of the reasons i failed. basically, i have less than a week to be able to do the splits, and i need to improve my korean (although it wasn't so bad).
and i have to fix my technique as well.
gee, that's PLENTY of time, especially considering this is a major week for studies.

so i'm off for supper. and afterwards i definitely need to go to bed.

*** later ***

so much for going to bed. i decided that since it's weekend, it's a waste to go to bed without at least seeing a movie, so i'm right now in the middle of watching we were soldiers.
crazy film. really good. gonna finish and then it's sleep time.

22/05/03

i got home around 7/8 this morning. and i was broken.

i finally did some work last night - fixed a bug and made my previous hack-'n-slash changes to the site i'm working on more elegant, so now i have to wait for this bastard company to fix the database, and then i'm pretty much done.

got a few phone calls last night on helpdesk. some of the cute ones were where the caller had no idea what day it was, literally. the one was a week in advance. americans.

and i only made a couple of screw-ups. they're getting fewer, but more severe. i need to start being careful with some of these.
let's just say helpdesk is not quite a career path for me.

last night i received a phone call, from my trainer, informing me that she didn't feel confident in my fighting and would rather i stayed out of the competition tomorrow.

at about 9am i got another call from her saying she wants me to fight. now how the hell am i supposed to deal with this? firstly, it means i have to cancel plans with her tonight - she was going to sleep over, and secondly, nothing has changed in my fighting between last night and this morning. how can i not be worried?

so in a few hours i'm being examined for a stripe, and i'll debate it then. but i haven't been able to sleep properly because i've been thinking so much about it.
FUCK.

and i'm not ready for the exam. i have to learn a whole lot of korean terms, and i can't concentrate. plus, i've had a long week, and i don't really have the energy to fight every person in the gym, which is always part of the exam.

good luck to me then.

21/05/03

we didn't go bowling last night. but i did go to work this morning. and it sucked. although we found a pool bar right next door, so now we have a place to go when no-one's looking. and pay-wise we pretty much break even...
scaly buggers, aren't we>

i went home, watched some more hunter x hunter, tried to sleep, failed, and then returned to work.

where i'm going to be until early morning.

20/05/03

*** yesterday ***

crazy fucking day. around 03.30 - 4am i walked her home, and there was a deep fog blanketing herzliya. which is really odd, because we don't get things like that in this country.
anyway, it was absolutely breathtaking, seeing the moisture moving in the air, and everything had this haze surrounding it.

while on my way back home, this police car stops, and obviously these guys were bored and had nobody else to harrass. they asked me really dumb questions, like "who are you?". what the fuck was i MEANT to say? but i was trying not to give them any attitude - i have better things to do than piss off police in a military state. so i annoyed them with stupid answers, in english, until they gave up and went on their merry way.

i woke up around 8am, hurriedly got dressed, walked to the bank as i had no money on me, and took the bus to ramat gan.
when i got to the place i've been working in for the past couple of weeks, i sat down and began. after a minute the boss walked up to me, gave me a username and password for the ftp to the live site, and told me in a most impolite manner to get out of his office.
charming.
firstly, because now i can work from home, i didn't need to get up so damn early. secondly, because we requested he do this more than a month ago and he refused. limey bastard.
at least there's no time pressure now.

so i went to test the access from the offices of the company i'm working for, and that was cool. i'm working for a diamond exchange business, and getting cleared by security is an exercise in futility. and she was looking at my name on my id, and still managed to get it wrong. these are the "special forces" (as in slightly retarded).

the guy i'm working for had to supervise me while we were in the office itself... i felt kind of weird. but i had to admit, knowing what was all around me in small black boxes was really exciting, and even though i wouldn't have taken anything it was hard not to look. but it turned out that we needed to share the computer, and i can't work like that. so it was back home for me.

i put on my blades around 11.30, and went to university. got some things sorted out, helped out some student council member with his website (i'm told there's a few people who need work done for cash, always nice), received a copy of the gods must be crazy (south african comedy - a tad dodgy), had lunch, and left.
right.

i then went all the way to ra'anana (the south african city, more or less), told orange what i thought of them (they'd left my old cellphone number activated, after i'd spoken to them twice about it), and returned home. around 16.00, i think. let's just say that taking off my blades felt amazing!

instead of sleeping, i watched more hunter x hunter, which i'm thoroughly enjoying.

i missed the post-office by 1 minute, TYPICAL, but i finally got my banking sorted out for the month.
*phew*

i then got a phone call telling me that taekwondo practice was ending early, so instead of going i went home to play tekken. we played a LOT (there were four of us), and at around 23.00 she came to pick me and we went to play pool. which was fun, but near the end i had a game that really freaked me out - it didn't matter what i did, the balls were just NOT going in, and i got upset.
*sigh*
but i got back into the swing of things eventually. we left around 01.30, and i was exhausted. completely finished. wasted. to the point of hallucination. and beyond.
yes, you could say i was even a little bit tired.

again, the whole mist/fog thing on the way home. unbelievable.

*** today ***

another early morning? i - think - not.
i was supposed to be around 07.30, but i was still exhausted, so i got up around 09.30 / 10am, wrote the yesterday part of this log, slept some more, and then watched yet another episode of hunter x hunter.

i got to class around 13.00, discovered it only started at 13.30, mooched around for half an hour and managed to be late anyway.
investment theory.
i tried hard to stay awake, i really did! but the lecturer is not only excessively boring, but the material's quite unpleasant too, and, err, coupling that (surely there's a word for putting three objects together?) with my sleep deprivation, there really wasn't much hope for me.

i hope i didn't miss too much. there were lots of seemingly arbitrary numbers on the board when i woke up...

went home, helped SxS with his database homework. we then went to sit by the pool at a friend's place, chilled there for a while, and now i'm home and most definitely wasted.

what scares me is the possibility for going bowling later on. i'm too tired. and i have work tomorrow - must be up at 8am...
but of course i'd go.

18/05/03

*** yesterday ***

i watched some more hunter x hunter, and i'm really enjoying it. i couldn't do the assignment without the book, which didn't arrive until about halfway through the FA cup final.

i then went with her to the park. stopping for ice-cream and crepes (pronounced "crep", if you're an african this is cute) on the way.
i love pistachio ice-cream.
and the park is always nice.
it's huge, and there's all this neat stuff for kids (like me), and a lake, and an opera house, and so on. and there's even a rollerhockey court and some basketball courts, a small petting zoo and a braai area.
talk about tax money.

*** today ***

i had these big plans involving a bank and getting some money, but they fell through (or didn't fall through? they didn't happen). there's been a strike, and today is the first day of the week, so the queues were monstrous.

i'm at university now - trying to find people to do the homework with.

i have plans to visit the guy who lost his mum last week, and then go to training for taekwondo (because i have the national championship coming up).
maybe sleep sometime, even.
naaah.

*** later ***

well, i've watched some more hunter x hunter, and had my siesta.

i was woken up rather rudely by the guy i've been doing contract work for - he's finally decided he's ready to talk about what he wants me to do. over the phone, even.
so i told him, pretty bluntly, that i'll discuss it with him tomorrow, but from what he's already said, tomorrow's going to be a long-ass day.

filled with special surprises.

but at least i'll be working. i'm off to find some graze, grub, and maybe a few edibles, and then it's to taekwondo i go.

as for that special, world-changing project i was working on, i finally got off my ass and wrote the first prototype interface class. that may sound like a mouthful, but it means things are beginning to get real. i may even have enough finished within the next month to start implementation!

naaah. too lazy.

17/05/03

*** yesterday ***

well, i discovered yesterday that i have pretty much nothing in the bank. for the rest of the month. oh, goody.

i then stood in a queue for over an hour in order to find out how much a certain tablet costs (for someone else, even), which really sucked as it's hot here now. and there's an icky percentage of humidity.

i finished watching animatrix. WOW. incredibly well done, the best non-japanese anime i've seen since ninja scroll. in fact, it's much better than ninja scroll.

i got a phone call yesterday afternoon telling me some interesting news - i'm fighting in a national taekwondo championship on friday... and i'm competing against five people. this is really quite exciting - i've now had two fights, but this is nationals!

went to see a movie last night, anger management. it is by far the funniest adam sandler movie i've seen. freaky though.

and i'm continuing in the hunter x hunter series, which is really cute. i'm just hoping to get hold of episodes 22/23 before i get there... HINT dex, HINT. :D

*** today ***

for the past three weeks i've been withholding certain information from these logs, and it's made a difference to the light within which some of my actions / inactions may have been viewed.

for instance, my reasons for going to bed late, and why i watched akira by myself.

the truth is, i've been seeing this girl since the 27th april. she made me promise not to write about her on this site, but i've decided that as long as i don't actually describe her i'm keeping that promise.
there. i did it.
i'm a BAAAAAAD man.
from now on i'm just going to mention her, and that will have to suffice.
for instance, in my log for the 4th of may, i watched the movie and went to the beach with her.

i think i need therapy.

so anyway, i'm going to try to get hold of the book i need to do my assignment. which might entail playing tekken. hmmm. decisions, decisions.

16/05/03

we STILL don't have a hub, so I still have to wait till the next day to update the site. this is really annoying. apparently we'll get it on sunday, but let's just say i'm not holding my breath.

*** yesterday ***

i almost got nothing done yesterday! i woke up around 10.30, put my washing in the machine, and went back to sleep.

i got up around 13.00, took out my washing, got on my (roller)blades and got to university around 13.30. around half an hour late for class. whoops.

apparently it was a really stupid class. as i got there, people were leaving due to extreme boredom and a severe lack of english (not all the teachers to speak can really of).

yesterday was student's day (day of the student, to be precise), so all sorts of stalls were being prepared for the night events. and they had a boxing ring set up. so one of the guys in our class does aikido (i'm not even THINKING of spelling that correctly), and we decided to have a fight.

the problem with fightnig taekwondo vs. aikido, is that taekwondo is basically kicking. aikido is fundamentally "take what my opponent throws at me and turn it against him". however, even though he may have beaten me, i managed to get 2 / 3 kicks in! so i'm not so bad...

i had lunch, and then went to a friend's place to get my copy of animatrix. now i've only seen the first twenty or so minutes of it, but it is WAY cool - i'm definitely glad i'm watching it before reloaded comes out here.

i then went to this girl i've been trying to teach. she got stuck on really stupid things - i got quite upset. it's just that it would be nice if she'd at least try to do it herself, but she basically gave up before she started. i managed to keep myself in check, as anything i said without thinking was destined to come out as "you're an asshole". although, as my mom says, assholes are useful things.

it was off to the student's day.

i put myself in a draw for a ticket to london.
i hope that goes well.
i'm SURE there's a chance i'll win.

there really wasn't much to do there. the first band was called dag nachash ("snakefish" - ch as in g in goedkoop). they were pretty good, became really funky towards the end.

and that was about the extent of the entertainment. i hung around for a bit, and then decided i was horribly bored and went home. even the masses of pretty girls couldn't keep me interested. and there were some INCREDIBLE girls/outfits running around.

*** today ***

getting up today has been a nightmare, something's wrong and i have no idea what. i'm just on a serious downer. i don't feel like i have anything to do (obviously studying's never on my list of priorities), and i'm dreading leaving the apartment to go shopping, and finding out how much money i don't have in the bank.

14/05/03

well. i woke up fairly late this morning, had a proper breakfast, and then successfully slouched around and did sweet bugger-all.

i went to work for a few hours, cleared my mail, organized a copy of some movie called animatrix, and promptly left.

i then went to my taekwondo trainer's place, to give her a tape of my fighting so we could convert it to SP (we recorded on LP), but the video equipment wasn't there, so i watched a video of the recent martial arts expo in france. some crazy stuff, some rather uninspiring stuff (the kung fu could have been a LOT better), but fun to watch.

we then decided not to retape the video - i realized that the problem was with the video machine's tracking, not with the fact that we recorded on LP.

i went to go see a movie last night! (damn, i study HARD...)
i watched bowling for columbine, an incredible documentary on the school shootings and general gun violence in the states (even though they claim it's about the nra).
michael moore is an absolute genius - but he can be nasty, so don't EVER piss this guy off.
see the movie. NOW.

13/05/03

oh man. i woke up this morning at 07:30, tried to get out of bed, and failed. 6 hours of training last night has left my legs not only damaged (tendon trouble + bruising), but stiff and sore in general.
after several pathetic attempts, i finally managed to stand up. only 15 minutes had passed, so i was most impressed with myself. but now i'm sitting in class (we're on a 20 minutes break), and it's killing me.

on the plus side, the girl i taught yesterday almost finished the homework by herself! that's REALLY good news, because i may never have to teach her again!
go me!

*** later ***

well, a friend came over to play some tekken, and convinced to play some basketball. my legs were still hurting, but why not? i ended up playing a lot - so much so that when i eventually got home there wasn't a dry spot on my shirt... pretty gross, huh?
but i played well - i seem to be improving. i just wish i knew what i was doing differently, but i suppose i shouldn't look my gift-horse in the mouth.

went to a coffee shop, for dessert as much as for coffee, and then we had a tekken tournament at my place. and i'm still doing well.
maybe it's just my week?
the only shite bit is that i have an assignment due this week that i really need to begin. and it's on ted turner, who i don't give rocks about.

12/05/03

what bothered me about the funeral this morning, is that i forgot that in israel people aren't buried in coffins as the ground itself is considered holy. so we watched the body being carried on a stretcher, and then tipped into the hole. i found that quite unsettling.

i then taught someone triggers in sql - this has got to be the dumbest person i have ever met. and not just because of the sql, just someone who's brain is most definitely not switched on. but i kept on, ignoring the frustration and sheer agony, and eventually they got it!
that was very satisfying. but fuck, was i EVER happy to leave that place.

i then went to train in taekwondo. i got there early for the kids' session, where i almost did full splits (side + front). i also learned just how much of my forms i'd forgotten.

and i destroyed another pair of boxer shorts. this is really frustrating. if i keep this up, i may as well stop wearing underwear to training - or not have any left at all.

and then the big boys came. the fighting was fun - i did quite well against all except 2 guys. the first fight ended up in a stalemate, but the second dude fucked me up so badly i ended up on the floor wheezing "medic!".
i have things left to learn, apparently.

11/05/03

well, it's been 2 and a half years, with 2 heavy summers, and i finally bought a fan this morning! my room will never be the same again.

today was sports day in our university. i was knocked out of the tekken 4 tournament in the first round. i didn't realize that it's basically the same game as tekken 3, and i was off-guard. i played the guy who beat me in the same match-up a little later, and i beat him so badly he didn't know what to do. losing really sucked though.

i really shouldn't have.

our class basketball team played two games, won one lost one, and i played both in borrowed sneakers that really didn't fit (way too small), because i forgot about the championship. how embarrassing.

aside from some time in the pool, that was about it for sports day. nice, but very tiring.

after i got home i went shopping. and i actually bought fruit. i think three apples and a melon counts. and i discovered these marshmallows that are almost as good as manhattan's in south africa! all soft and squeezable, and they taste like proper marshmallows.

the only crap news is that a friend of mine's mother died suddenly this morning. no warning, no nothing. scary.

10/05/03

*** yesterday ***

i went shopping yesterday for a birthday present for a relative.
i'm really bad at buying presents.
eventually i decided that a book might be nice, but how can you tell what kind of book a person will like? i know what i like, but i also know that i have very "special" taste.
i eventually found a book of paintings by norman rockwell, and decided it would have to do.
and she loved it! i was so pleased.
oh, and i screwed up the birthday card. what's wrong with me?
we ate really well last night. i watched akira when i got home, and then hit the hay for around 10 hours. good, huh?

*** today ***

the guys i'm in a group with for our class project in leadership had a meeting today without inviting me. shitheads. and they keep complaining that i don't do anything, but they keep assigning me all the fucking work. i made a BIG mistake joining their group, but i can't back out.

also in the news, our taekwondo club is planning to host an international competition in forms. which means i have to improve mine so's i can compete. i'm going over there today to watch a video of other competitions, and afterwards i'll take a look at my fights again.
i'm a bit pissed off, because i went to training on thursday night, and i discovered that i haven't been using the main kick (roundhouse) in the most effective way. they couldn't have told me this before?? now i have to practise doing it differently.

wow! i knew i left something out!

on thursday, i got home around 7am, and was woken up at 11am for a basketball game (our university's internal league). so i got up, got ready, had a redbull, and off we went. we lost 27-25, and what really sucked is that we lost because two of the players couldn't play a team game, and screwed up the rest of us.

what sucked even more is that the only reason it was so close was because at the end of the game we were basically wrestling, because it was easier for us to get points from our opponents' free throws.

we then went to class. this guy who's supposed to be moving in with us was sitting in front of me, and i had my foot on the back of his chair. after about an hour, he turned around, saw my foot on the chair, and instead of just asking me to take it off, shoved my foot away, said something decidedly unpleasant, and moved his chair away from me.

after class he came up to me and went absolutely beserk. he got up in my face and started threatening me, saying really stupid things like i should respect him because he's older than me, which had absolutely nothing to do with anything. he was telling me why i'd put my foot on his chair - he'd come up with this whole explanation in his head - and wouldn't let me say a word.
i didn't know what to do. all of could think of was "is this guy stupid?". did he WANT me to hit him? then he walked off, saying that i wouldn't get another warning.

what the fuck? why do people get so aggressive?

this really pissed me off. apparently he's not moving in with us anymore, but i get the feeling that this might not be the case, mainly because it would suit me just fine. i've lived with enough psychotics.
why do i always get the ugly ones?

07/05/03

yesterday, i woke up around 09:00 to go to class, got ready, and then discovered that all classes were cancelled. so i basically spent the day relaxing, reading shakespeare's othello, playing tekken, shopping, doing laundry, and having the occasional two-minute nap.
last night was nice, all i did was watch that 70's show (lord only knows i have about 50 episodes left to get through), and went to sleep.

had a braai at my cousins' today, which was very good (there was WAY too much food), and very chilled. played table tennis in the sun, and discussed all sorts of strange things.
for instance (and i'm not sure of this, i couldn't find any sources online), apparently some stock trader whose performance was excellent was accused of insider trading, and he claimed that he was from the future.
yeah, right.
or: yeah, right? we have no way of knowing, but apparently there is also no record of his existence.
DUM DUM DUM.

after i got home, i watched the second half of back to the future part ii, which is possibly the most fun series ever made.
that's an opinion, yes. well done.
and now i'm at work, and i'll probably get home around 06.00 / 07.00, so it's going to be a long night. if i get the chance i'll be updating my journal, and maybe even add to my mental masturbation page.

05/05/03

today was a LONG ass day.
firstly, after training last night, i went to a farewell bash at a bar in the industrial zone. i was exhausted, but after 6pm (i began training around then) i couldn't eat or drink anything except water, as i was going for a blood test this morning. so i payed NIS 50 (around R100) for as much as i could drink, which amounted to 4 glasses of water.
and i'm struggling for basic food money. hmmph.
anyway, i finally got back home this morning around 00:30, went to sleep, and then woke up at 06:30.
and i thought: yeah, right.

so i woke up at 07:00, got dressed, and left.
while waiting in the queue for blood tests, some woman asked me for permission to use my genetic material. after i asked for a translation, she told me that if i didn't speak hebrew, she didn't want it.
eh?!

the nurse taking my sample was fairly mechanical about the whole process. while she was preparing my arm for invasion, she told me not to move, and not to look in order that i wouldn't move.
i was really nervous.
i looked.
surprisingly, it didn't hurt, and it didn't bleed too much either!
then, i did something very strange. for some unknown and unknowable reason, i said, in hebrew, "i didn't move". she thought this was a question. then i said, "and i looked".
what the hell was i thinking? did i want a toffee or something?

so then, and i quote my mom quoting my cousin, "i owe, i owe, it's off to work i go".
so i worked for a couple of hours, and finally got the thing finished. there's still a few bits and pieces left to clean up, but the main job is complete, so i got paid today.
this is a big deal.

i turned down a job a month or so ago working on a really cool korean helicopter software project, because i KNEW the guys weren't going to pay me properly. and anyone who knows me knows i LOVE military aircraft. :@

the jews are a very peculiar people. not only do we go by lunar calendar, but we consider a day as beginning at sunset.
so tonight was the beginning of remembrance day, a day when we think of all of israel's fallen soldiers. so we went to this ceremony for our city, which was a little on the peculiar side. first, there was a short ballet at some point, hidden amongst the sad songs and speeches.

and then they sort of "forgot" to sing the national anthem at the end. we all just stood there in disbelief, sure that someone would begin it at any time; no one did.
weird.

so i managed to screw up the instant mushroom sauce tonight (i forgot to put butter in it), but it was tasty anyway and the texture was still good, so i can't really complain.
although i wanted to try baking potatoes again, and my potatoes have begun sprouting! that's a bit insensitive, i say. mean bloody potatoes. just when you think you've a solid meal coming...

04/05/03

Well, the weekend's over... went to the doctor today for a checkup, and she was only too happy to write me a letter saying that i'm healthy for the wingate institute (i wrote about having difficulty with that early last week).

i had such a chilled weekend. friday night watched the first half of lolita - i HAVE to see the rest! crazy, crazy film. i can't believe i hadn't seen it.

yesterday, i woke up and went to the beach. had a really relaxed time, and for lunch had a greek salad, and watermelon with bulgarian cheese for dessert.

then i went home, slept a bit, played some tekken, ate a huge meal (i finally learned how to make that instant mushroom sauce i've been staring at for weeks), and then chilled some more.
god, i'm such a hard worker.

at around 02:30 i shaved my flatmate's head, but i was so tired i could barely see straight. so i had to let him finish it and finally went to bed.

i'm going to this party tonight - it's a farewell bash for a guy from the company i'm working for.
whatever.

it's really hot - i'm going for some water.

02/05/03

turns out this guy, the one who told me not to go to training, is moving into our apartment, probably sometime this week.
this means a few things, not the least of which is that the room we've been using for storage now has to be cleared (and i have no space for my surfboard), and i now have to share my bathroom with two people, both untidy. no wait, make that messy.

this is SO going to suck.

01/05/03

well. i got home from work around 06:00, showered and went to sleep around 06:30. and then woke up at around 10:30, unable to continue sleeping, when i only had to be awake by 12:00.

mooched around, doing nothing in particular, and then went to class. marketing research.

i understood the concept he was trying to teach, but it involves maths so i switched off. got into a serious drug debate with the girl sitting next to me. i hope noone overheard us.

our next class was investment theory. boring. B-O-R-I-N-G.
i feel like a highschool student again.

i discovered that we have a project due tomorrow morning, and i'm in a group with 4 other people. so i started working with them, and when i explained that i had to go to training they got really upset with me, and basically told me that it is completely my fault if we don't finish it.
and they had the nerve to tell me not to go to training.

i almost lost it. my taekwondo training is one of the only things i have in my life right now that keeps me sane and sober. and away from cigarettes and weed (and hash). and i need it for spiritual reasons too, which anyone who does a martial art, or any sport for that matter, can attest to. motherfuckers.

*** later ***

after training
training went well. i started off with no energy. i haven't trained in a week, and my body wasn't prepared for the warmup. and the stretches almost killed me - i don't remember the last time i hurt that much!

at one point i got upset with myself for doing something stupid, and the guy who i was partnered with started lecturing me. i felt like a complete retard, but i bit my lip (1 he's a higher rank, 2 he'll fuck me up), and took it. when we resumed i was angry, but focused, and i ended up doing some serious damage to the focus pads.
now, if i can just remember to do this during my fights i'll do just fine.

my legs are all bruised. and i've damaged some tendons. but i really needed that.

30/04/03

I was on my way to work this morning, but when i got to the train station, everything was closed. and then i remembered that everybody's been talking about the coming strike for days, so i felt like a complete fool.

the guy i'm working for drove all the way to fetch me, which was really nice of him. i worked for about 4 hours. or more, i don't really remember, but i'm almost finished! this is SO weird. i'm still waiting for something to go horribly wrong.

he gave me a ride back home afterwards too, and even bought me lunch. it's nice to work with decent people.

i got a phone call while i was working, from my taekwondo trainer. she's been fighting with the guys who wanted the medical examination, and has gotten them to agree to let me do the physical there, when i'll be there anyway. that's much more logical, not to mention not so fucking stupid. damn my foul mouth.

so i went to the beach for an hour, and it was really windy. we watched the kite-surfers flying about and a few not-so-good looking girls, and then went home.

i had a shower, and took the bus to work, and we're about to begin. we'll finish around 05:30, hopefully i'll get a ride home and then a few hours sleep before class starts.

*** later ***

i did my first helpdesk tonight. i fucked up at first, and i really needed the help - i was so confused half the time!
but all in all it went okay. i'll need some time to get the hang of it.

and i had to try really hard not to laugh at this one southerner, but other than that nothing eventful occurred.

it's 04:43. good night.

28/04/03

(i'm supposed to be doing a course in teaching for taekwondo)
hmmm. i just got a phone call that says that i need to get to a doctor immediately in order to obtain a piece of paper that says that i'm not going to keel over and die unless someone hits me very hard.

i *just* got an sms that says that it's not nearly as urgent as the phone call made out. phew. getting a doctor's appointment in israel is rather frustrating.

i would have had a great morning this morning, except that my throat's irritated and i seem to have lost my voice. *grhk*
and i've been training at work, which, although i've learned something, has been quite boring.

it bothers me that i have a project that i'd really like to do, that's really simple and could ultimately change the world. and i'm too damn lazy to get started. properly, at least, as i've already begun building the infrastructure. but i need a lot of time so i can get back into it.
i could make a LOT of money with it. i just need to get off my ass. like THAT could happen.

*** later ***

well, that was just great. i messed up my day trying to get the doctor's signature, and it turns out that the only people who can give it to me are in ramat gan. which is where i was in the first place.
DAMN.

so i missed training altogether tonight. and i really needed it.
something had better make tonight worth it, i don't just want to do work and go to bed.

27/04/03

i just lost the file during a save, so this is a rewrite. grrr.

today was a really messed up one. i went to bed this morning at around 2am, after viewing dex's modifications to his side of the site (japan). he's put up a pic in his memories section that was taken on an absolutely awesome morning, where we had our own private afterparty on the road next to the beach.

anyways, woke up around 8am, left the apartment at around 8.30 and just made it in time for the bus, that got me to the train station with a couple of minutes to spare.

i was on my way to work - i'm not only holding a job but i'm doing small contracts as well, and today something really freaky happened.

normally, when i quote an hour the work turns out to be around 30, and i get a headache and not enough pay. not to mention sleepless nights and high stress.

i quoted 10 hours for this job, and i worked 1.5 this morning and got quite a lot done! something's veeeeery suspicious about this. but it was really nice to work on a system that's been put together by professionals who actually know what they're doing. i've been working too long with cowboys, all frills and no cows. this group doesn't do anything fancy, they use what works and they do it all properly. i'll be happy to continue working with them.

i then went to university to go organize my macroeconomics homework. when i got there, i couldn't even read the questions, but i soon realized that neither could anyone else. so we sat down and eventually came up with some reasonable looking answers.
i promptly skipped the class.

i still have marketing homework to do for tomorrow morning 10am, but i'm not really ready for that so i'll see if i can get some help. or i'll study, but that's not likely.

i just came back from shopping - i finally remembered to buy vinegar (scares away the mosquitos), and olive oil (i've been stealing from my flatmates), but i forgot to buy tinfoil. so i'm not gonna have a real meal tonight. oh well.

the only other news i have i've been forgetting to put up all week - on tuesday my mommy had her graduation ceremony - she's now a BA! I'm SOOO proud! (now i've just got to get mine...)

24/04/03

an interesting day - finally made a few necessary changes to the site, plus got some banking done. I ran into this girl at the bank, who's really beautiful. i've known her since i started banking there, and we've always been friendly. then i discovered she was studying in my university, and i started seeing more of her.

i finally got her phone number, called her, she called me a few times, we spoke, but when i tried to meet up with her for coffee she told me she had a boyfriend. i said fine, and that i'd still like to see her, as a friend. she seemed cool with this, we spoke more.
then, when i tried to meet up with her again, she promised me she'd call and make plans, and she never did. i give up. i don't need to fight for her.

anyway, so i saw her this morning and she was all "hey! how you doing?". i really don't know what to do about her. and she is FINE.

this afternoon was my cousin's batmitzvah. so we went on this long hike in a nature reserve, and had a really great meal. i ran into my law professor there - he's a really nice guy from canada. he kept making fun of me in class because i'm south african - he knows all our stupid expressions (like we don't have traffic lights: we call them robots).

the entertainment was brilliant - a magician for the kids, but really good firedancers who were doing their thing to classical music.
NICE.

the dj started off playing disco, and everyone was having fun, but he then started moving to dance music. we fought with him, and managed to convince him to stick with 70's so everyone would dance (not just the little kids).

this dj really sucked. couldn't mix for shit, no style whatsoever, and he even had the audacity to change tempo in the middle of a tune! swak.
anyway, after a while he got the idea, and started playing only funky tunes.
that was a nice day.

23/04/03

*** yesterday ***

got a ride from work at around 5, got to bed around 6. woke up at 9 and discovered that the place to get tickets for the party (in the next city, of course there's none here) had two left, and would only hold one for me for around 20 minutes.
so i RAN to the bus and caught it just in time, and made it to the store with a couple of minutes to spare.

i then took the bus to tel aviv, and from there to the party. i planned on finding a place to crash until the evening. there were 4 tents, each one a different dj, but all playing really good trance, ranging from "chilled" goa to crazy psychedelic. the only problem is that each dj was playing all types, so every time i found a place with music i could sleep to, the dj'd start playing faster and funkier, and i'd have to get up and move on or my body would begin bouncing involuntarily.

so i didn't get any sleep.

i don't remember who started, but the music began on a good note, and just got better. my favourites of the night were infected mushroom, talamasca, raja ram, space cat and gms. astral projection started off a little housy, but after a few rather boring tunes they started up some serious shit!

the guy i was meant to be going with originally rocked up around 11pm with some friends, so i finally had someone to talk to. the majority of people there didn't speak any english, so i had to speak in hebrew, and it would've been ok except that it's hard to communicate when you're trying to scream over the music, and the people you're talking to are so trashed they don't understand their mother-tongue.

speaking of trashed... we weren't.
speaking of it.

infected mushroom played a set that has scarred me, probably for life. those dudes spent an hour fucking with everyone, and kept surprising us even when we thought we'd heard it all. half the time we weren't sure they were playing music. but we couldn't stop our bodies from going wild.
those motherfuckers are SERIOUSLY messed up. all respect to them.

oh, and the best part of all. i woke up at 17:30 for work, checked my voicemail and discovered that my shift tonight was cancelled.

21/04/03

basically, work's not difficult (i'm not actually doing anything yet), but i'm finishing way after the last train/bus and way before the first train/bus. i'm screwed.
and i can't afford a taxi.
been reading webcomics and playing online games (stupid ones), and i can't think of anything productive that i should and want to do.

but tomorrow's party time - tyoshi suzuki and talamasca live on the beach.
this is gonna be fun.

*** later ***

oh, HEAVEN FORBID i should get to have fun.
the guy i was meant to be going to the party with just bailed on me. so now i have no ticket, and no transport.
and it's the day of the party. so basically, i'm not going.

FUCK.

and i missed the 3 day festival with my niece, just so i could go. so now my holiday's ruined.

FUCK.

20/04/03

More night-time discussions... most people find that a man and a woman kissing is okay, and two women kissing is okay, but two men kissing is not.
In my words, this is because a women represents a certain "softness", and as long as there's a woman in the equation everything's fine. However, when there's none, then the act becomes almost violent. And an effeminate man is just weird, something that sends a "wrong" signal to the brain.

No offense to anyone who's gay, but this is just a theory / perspective. Oh, and DEAL WITH IT.

18/04/03

i just spent the whole night discussing my previous realization, that god is the othering of one's own internal power.
i have been refining this realization, and am attempting to come up with a non-contradictory version of it.

for the moment i'm not going to discuss god. i am, however, going to discuss the soul. we have been told that we are "created in god's image", and i believe that the only questionable thing in that statement is the word created.

the soul is a part of god. we know this. but it is from this that we control our bodies (and minds, i suppose), and from this that we draw our power over the rational, physical world. i refrain from giving examples, there are too many and there is no concrete proof of any of this.

this soul, is the very same thing that we call our astral body, our kundalini, our buddha, whatever. whether we believe in a god or not, we all find ourselves in times of need or desperation calling on something, and in reality all we are doing is willing something to happen (or not happen, as the case maybe).

this is the point where we are activating our own power, our own "bit of god".

i'm too tired to write this out neatly, but i'll make a better attempt later. just needed a rough draft.

17/04/03

Othering: the process of projecting our fantasies upon another entity.

Realization: The concept of a supreme being could, in fact, be us "othering" our metaphysical power. Since the dawn of time man has been unable to successfully explain his non-physical effects, such as his will to survive being enough to face extreme odds. In order to rationalize this control over other objects / forces, we create "god" and attribute our effects to him.

16/04/03

sunday morning i woke up around 05:45 to go to eilat on a planned trip with the international school. the weather forecast said good, so i packed very little (we were only going for one night).

eilat

1) bus ride
LONG, LOOOOONG bus ride. mostly tried to sleep, but that never really works properly. i remembered to take water, i learned a very hard lesson about dehydration last week, but i still got sunburned. stopped off in s'dei boker (emphasis on last syllable), meaning 'fields of the cowboys'. david ben gurion's buried there, so we visited his er, grave / tomb, thingymabob. beautiful view, i wouldn't mind my body resting there one day (preferably once i'm already dead).

2) skipped hike
we managed to vote 'no' to walking in the desert. everyone was keen to get to eilat.

3) wrong hotel
amazing. we ended up in completely the wrong place. eventually corrected, ended up in a place called 'paradise garden'. yeah, right. i didn't wait for check-in. i went with some friends who were already staying there to the beach, swam a bit, and then went to play basketball for 3 HOURS. i'll admit i enjoyed it thoroughly, but after a while my legs began to hurt, and after the game i could barely walk. dirty and smelly, went to the apartment they were staying in, showered, stretched, and went in search of supper. we left after 23:00, so only one place was open, but we ate like pigs for relatively cheap for eilat (tourist prices in israel are scary), and then went missioning. noplace interesting, so

4) finding my room
took a long walk back to the hotel, figured out the name that my roomies wrote me down as (i don't even remember it now, no relation whatsoever), and got the key. fortunately, they came back around the same time, so i didn't need to get up and open it for them. 'paradise garden'. soap, yes, but no toothpaste. DAMN. at least there was toilet paper. went to sleep around 04:00

5) waking up at 6:30 for breakfast

6) waking up at 8:30 for breakfast

7) breakfast
a typical israeli breakfast consists of some form of cereal (maybe), a cup of coffee, a slice of toast (maybe), and if you're REALLY pushing it you might get fruit of some form. oh, and milky (chocolate dessert type thing with cream). this breakfast contained all sorts of weird things, but none of the above. the coffee barely rated 'dirty water'.

8) checkout
did i check in? don't remember.

9) boat trip
well, the music started off chilled, very peaceful, but as soon as we got out of earshot of the docks they began with samba. i don't like samba. the tempo increased rapidly, and i was considering jumping, when we began to slow down. now i'm not saying i wasn't enjoying this. i love being on the water, and the view was breathtaking. staring at aquaba (however it's spelled). pretty. the water is completely clear. it's actually quite frightening, it's deep blue, but transparent.

9.5) diving
the captain (?!) mentioned something about diving. so i got on the rail and dived. WOW. warm water (everyone else was complaining about it being too cold, i still don't get it), but salty and i had a cut on my arm. mmmmm. then they released this swing-type thing. the first guy to go on it swung out, twisted his body so his arms were above his head from behind (don't know how to explain that), and then released into a somersault and decent dive. then the next guy went, did a major belly-flop. so we all stood in the line and took our turns. i managed to land face- first. surprise.
the first guy went again. he did the same twist, but for some reason didn't release. so he came swinging back face first towards the hull, with his arms stuck behind his back. with speed. fortunately some dude managed to stop him just before he headbutted the boat. we all released our breaths, as we'd been praying that this schmuck wouldn't be responsible for us going back to shore early.
"what could be easier than to pull?" - charles sheen, terminal velocity.

9.9) return to shore
they played decent, DECENT trance. for about 30 seconds. then it was back to chilled. rats.

10) aqua sport
this is the place were you go snorkeling (shnorkeling in hebrew), s.c.u.b.a. diving, etc. i sat under the big tent, smoked nargila (hookah) (ok, a couple of puffs, nothing serious), and slept. my friend's came for a brief visit, they left most disappointed. we sucked at volleyball for about 25 minutes, and then headed back to the bus.

11) snoopy come home?
nah. after an hour's kip, we were rudely awoken to a marvelous sight. sand. and rock. did i mention sand? oh, and dust. it was 'get your kit and go', so we went. walked up a mountain, listened to a really silly poem about echoes, and then discovered the only way to the rendezvous point was down the face. with no board. sandboarding is fun. running down the face of a dune isn't. not as such. and getting to the bottom with your shoes and socks FILLED with sand is frustrating.
getting back to the bus, we discovered that one of the guys had hitchhiked from the drop-off point to the rendezvous. brilliant. we all applauded him, and wished we'd thought of it. lucky, lucky bastard.

12) 7.5 hours later
7.5 hours. in a bus. with the airconditioning on and no jacket. brrr. one pit stop, and some dude who didn't understand that i was only joking about playing 'i spy with my little eye'. growl.

13) shower
sand. sand. sand. hell, i started my shower fully clothed, including my shoes, and they've STILL got sand in them. got to bed around 02:00.

*** tuesday ***

1) waking up
06:00

2) bus to taekwondo trainer
06:40

3) trainer's house
trainer not there. at the gym. proceed to walk halfway across ra'anana to the gym. my legs HURT. i'm TIRED. we walk to the bus stop (it's drizzling), which is only another 3 blocks uphill, and catch the bus to the venue

4) competition
it's a memorial competition, in honour of a soldier who died in (i think) 1995, in a bomb blast. i think he had something to do with tkd. dunno, couldn't understand a thing. i weighed in at 82/83kg (i think there's something wrong with their scale), was told i'd be fighting the same guy i fought last week. we were meant to fight around 14:00.

4.1) training
started training with the black belts, learned all sorts of interesting things and kind of got back into the whole fighting thing.

4.2) drinking
remembered my previous fight (i was completely dehydrated, it was a miracle i could stand let alone fight, and i won anyway), and drank plenty of water.
//this is just FULL of details, isn't it?
tried sleeping, managed about 5 minutes. little kids walking over your body don't cause sweet dreams.
lurked.

4.5) discovered that i was put into the 85+kg weight category. this means anyone greater than, which includes some 120kg 'big-boys'. from the national team.
uh huh. right.
so we argued and finally got me moved back to my category, only i was the only one in it. so one of the national team members with similar weight agreed to compete.

4.6) i'm scared. he's a big, dangerous person. with experience.

5) i'm too tired to continue like this

we started fighting around 20:00.
the first round was 3-1 to him, i kicked him out of the ring twice (you don't get points for that). the second was 3-3.
i feel GOOD about that. real good. i drew a round with one of the olympic team. oh yeah.
bussed home, took a way-too-quick shower, went to the bus station, and had just missed the bus to the last train to work. hitchhiked (sortof, kind of started talking to these guys on the side of the road) to the bus station and bussed to work.

my legs hurt, i've slept around 8.5 hours since sunday morning, and i'm going to be at work till around 05:00.

and i'm supposed to be concentrating