fun day

the morning began well, i walked mr smear to his shuttle bus, then made my way to the office, arriving just in time to catch our shuttle up to sdot yam.

it was an absolutely gorgeous day. extremely hot, but not nearly as extreme as the previous couple of days, and we spent most of it in the shade. from a social point of view, it was a smashing success, both formally with the icebreakers and informally with incessant getting to know each other.

i hit the water with the stand-up paddleboards (coached by hagal sheli volunteers), and i had a lot of trouble initially (i almost lost my sunglasses at one point). when i moved away from the rocky area, though, i found it much easier and managed really well! unfortunately, by that point i was already feeling a combination of motion sickness, excess heat, and i think i might have swallowed a bit of a sea water. after we got back to shore i needed a break from the world (and a coke, and to lie down) before the nausea went away.

then i signed up for the ice bath. the preparation (breathing exercises) made me feel like this would be a good preparation for a tattoo session :P

i wasn't even halfway into the water when i was blindsided by just how difficult it was for me to get my breathing under control! it was only two minutes, but i struggled to open my eyes even when instructed because i was so focused on keeping my breathing regulated, and my legs hurt. but it was so hot outside, that after climbing out and warming up a little i had to ask if i could go in again.

the answer was a resounding no.

the rest of the afternoon was keeping hydrated, eating exotic crepes-like ice cream, and talking incessantly.

we left earlier than we expected, the bus ride home was very pleasant (i connected musically to one of our aussies), and when we returned to the office i got some advice from lipgirl and another coworker about apartment hunting before returning home.

mr smear and i enjoyed an early dinner, then took a bus to where his friend's staying to pick up his bike. the ride their was pleasant, we had to wait a little while so we took a short walk and talked a lot, and that was great.

the poor dog being dog-sat was too scared to come and say hi, and wasn't doing well in general. i talked about the apartment hunting and realized that my anxieties about leaving early are justified...

the way home was unpleasant. mr smear almost immediately got into a mode, he didn't want to push the bike and he felt it was "unfair" that i was walking alongside him and not doing all the work. this non-stop arguing culminated in me losing my temper in the middle of a bridge, and yelling at him about how we could make things "fair" (by me making him work hard whenever i work hard), which led to about five minutes of walking in silence.

and then sitting on a bench, and having a relaxed, rational conversation about how life isn't fair, though we have to try to make it fair, and that my job as his father is to prepare him for the world. the rest of the way home was pleasant conversation, and the rest of the evening went smoothly.

today so far: a nice morning, and a parental guidance session that was challenging but ultimately good. now i'm off to the office.

mostly sunshine and rainbows

 today wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, because there was some drama around washing the floor, but it was mostly sunshine and rainbows. whether it was starting the day quietly reading a canticle for leibowitz (i'm finally more than two-thirds in), or spending a couple of highly enjoyable* hours playing through there is no game: wrong dimension, or going to the beach with mr smear on a gorgeous day, enjoying late afternoon fries and beers**, all followed by a smooth dinner and bedtime***.

* although at one point - when we hit a credits screen - i found myself becoming increasingly agitated by a combination of the puzzles difficulty and mr smear's unwillingness to relinquish the mouse. but i was proud of him for how he stuck with me and the dastardly puzzles until we figured them out, and for how he solved a whole bunch of them faster than i could

** his was a malt beer

*** the houthi attack was just as mr smear was going to bed, any later and it would have been much more stressful. and the vibe in the bomb shelter was vibrant and there was lots of laughter

...

i'm supposed to be reviewing a PR right now, but i don't know if i have it in me or if i'm going to put it off until tomorrow morning. one of my coworkers assured an external dev that i'll have it done by tomorrow and i don't really know what it deals with yet...

...

the colorado attack. the recent washington attack. major news outlets should be helf accountable and there should be consequences for propagating libel and propaganda. they're literally making this happen.

calm

i'm tired, i'm posting this and drinking my "good night" tea (chamomile and lavender) and then hopefully i'll be ready to get a full night's sleep.

thursday:

it was a relatively calm work day. one of my coworkers was particularly condescending to me and another guy, and i'm quite proud of how calmly i handled it.

lipgirl organized an insanely rich, delicious vegan cake for the happy hour and i ended up bringing most of it home. i've eaten too much cake over the course of the last three days.

i was inspired by some of mr smear's homework questions to try teaching him math from first principles. he was so excited by how much easier it is to understand what's going on!

yesterday:

yesterday was the first day in a long while that i've had bandwidth for stuff other than my day job. i installed the windsurf IDE - which i'm so far quite pleased with (it feels more comfortable than cursor, but i haven't got lots of experience with the important stuff yet) - and recalibrated myself with some of my side projects.

some of the morning was just spent doing nothing.

after mr smear came home from school, i took him to meet gd and urchin at the sarona market for lunch. overall it was great, although it would have been better had mexicana not screwed up my order and given me chicken when i'd asked for vegan. yecch.

by the time we left, our buses weren't running anymore and it was searing hot at the bus stop. fortunately, while we were waiting for a taxi to accept our fare, an unexpected bus arrived that worked for us and we got home without further stress.

the rest of the afternoon was pretty relaxed. i looked up an alternative synagogue - we don't like the politics of the one we've been going to - but the only one that's close by and checks all the boxes doesn't hold friday night services which i find really confusing.

gd experimented with yuba for dinner, which came out really nicely.

today:

i started the day by initializing a language learning project, and then by reading more of a canticle for leibowitz when out spare mouse turned out to be broken and mr smear demanded (begged) to use our main computer.

and then i rotated my rollerblade wheels (which i've been meaning to do for ages) and mr smear and i rode to the beach.

it was a glorious beach day. the rides there and back were good (minus a minor incident where i tried to give him a boost and accidentally pushed him over), we found a spot in the shade for our gear, and we spent plenty of time having fun in the water.

i did get slightly sunburned, but not painfully.

the afternoon was spent reading and napping, and in the evening (after doing a whole bunch of dishes) i walked to our friends to deliver the barmitzvah present two weeks late, and we were all very awkward about it.

it was a very pleasant evening.

i've just bought tickets to a family-friendly trance party next weekend in honor of shavuot. we're praying that gd can come with (she's got a nerve block procedure on tuesday), but even if it's just me and mr smear i think it's going to be awesome ^_^

,,,

tomorrow is towel day! which in my book is synonymous with DNA testing day.

שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה

the perfect beach day

yesterday:

we all went off to dizengoff, which was a lot less festive than anticipated. having said that, there was plenty festive outside, and it was a gorgeous day. we took care of a couple of minor things, including picking up a bunch of hebrew comic books, and then took a slow meander up to dizengoff square, where we stopped for a very nice lunch.

we all enjoyed the food, and we all had a good experience.

then we caught a bus home and had a pretty relaxing afternoon.

in the evening i took mr smear to the synagogue, he came without a fuss and in addition to some generally pleasant talks along the way, we had a pretty serious conversation about the weekly portion (which includes the story of the golden calf), why we're supposed to pray so often (specifically, the shema), and how those two both ultimately have the same moral: no matter how smart we may think we are, that we *get* the lessons from the torah, we're descended from the same morons who *forgot* about god after witnessing his miracles directly, after hearing his voice directly, and we need to keep playing our history on repeat so that we don't forget it and lose our way.

today:

i slept horribly last night. i hadn't taken my new nightly pill (alpha lipoic acid) and my hips hurt constantly, so i was in a lot of discomfort and i barely got any rest.

i started the day a bit antisocially trying to catch up with private instagram messages - the result of ignoring them for most of the week - and then i put down for satisfactory which is on sale right now and sat with mr smear while he got into it. so far, pretty damned awesome.

without a fight - remarkably - we began moving out for our ride to the beach around 10.30am as planned. it did take us about 45 minutes to actually start riding, but there were no bad feelings and it was turning out to be another beautiful day.

we enjoyed a good ride to the beach, which was easier now that half of arlozorov is open again and with decent bike lanes, found a good shady spot, completed the sunscreen ritual and headed into the water. the side of the beach we were sitting on was too rocky and cold, so we went to the other side which was easier on the feet but absolutely freezing.

we had fun in the water for a little while, then returned to our spot where mr smear insisted on me burying him a couple of times (it's his favorite thing), and after a lot of time trying to convince him to come into the shade i got to lie down for a bit. after we had agreed that it was a good time to go and find food (and coffee for me), it took about an hour to get him into the water to rinse off some of the sand, then out of the water, then through the showers, and eventually we were ready to ride again.

we tried a very busy coffee shop near the corner of dizengoff and ben gurion, but the service was shit and the menu vegan-unfriendly so we pushed on to eazy cafe, for our favorite salad and a generally good vibe.

we eventually got home quite late, took turns showering and then chilled the remainder of the afternoon away. the evening was pleasant, dinner was good, and after getting mr smear into bed gd and i watched a lot of andrew schultz - life, which is mostly just amusing but does has some really good stuff in it. we're a bit disappointed that monk's been taken off...

...

i'm on a water-only fast now for blood tests in the morning. i hope i sleep alright.

beach ride

 yesterday was brilliant. i picked mr smear up from school, and we sat down to read bone: out of boneville in hebrew together (he's been reading the books alone, but not understanding all the individual words).

we spent the hotter parts of the afternoon quietly doing our own things. a little after 5pm, we started getting ready and took the bicycle and rollerblades out for a ride to the beach.

the weather was perfect, we had an excellent time at the beach. we left just as the sun was setting - a glorious sunset that blew even mr smear away - and the rode back home.

by the time we arrived, we were both exhausted, and hungry. after showering, we found that ark: survival evolved had installed - we'd enthusiastically watched its trailer earlier and discovered that i'd picked up a copy of it about four years ago - so mr smear sat down until kiddush to read through the introduction / guide.

we enjoyed a delicious dinner, and finished watching the first x-men movie. and then... everyone went to bed.

i'm still a bit in shock after sleeping through the entire night. life is okay.

making memories

 phew.

last night i told mr smear we'd go out early this morning and head to the beach. he wasn't too enthusiastic then, but in the morning he absolutely refused to go to the beach. i managed to talk him down, compromising on the beach itself but not on going for a ride.

we enjoyed a fun ride down to the beach. when we got there, mr smear didn't follow my instructions to use the stair guide for bikes and dropped his bike, obliterating his front brake.

so that kind of sucked. but at least the rear brake was still good.

then, as we got to the bottom of the stairs, on a beautiful, perfect-beach-weather morning, with relatively few beachgoers and fantastic conditions, he said: "dad, i wanna go to the beach."

godsdammit.

we didn't have beach gear, because we'd gorram agreed not to the go to beach.

anyway. we rode down the promenade for a bit, then he decided he was ready to turn back. on the way, we stopped to get him a fanta, and then a fruit shake. we ended up sitting on a bench for quiet a while, just chatting and enjoying being where we were.

it was pretty cool.

eventually we decided it was time to go home, and by then it had gotten a lot hotter. by the time we got home, we were sweaty, and ready for some a/c, and three hours had gone by.

it was a good morning.

after showering, we enjoyed a big breakfast (neither of us had eaten, he hadn't been interested when i offered), and then settled in to watch gremlins 2, which we'd agreed to hold off on until it was daytime so he wouldn't be scared. he made it through about half the movie before decided to nope on out, primarily because it was too gory (all the slime :P).

he and gd then watched the aristocats, which they enjoyed. i didn't see much of it because i was passed out on the couch for the most part.

the rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur, but then we had some drama: mr smear had agreed to go out again, and we'd reminded him for about two hours beforehand that it was happening, and then the time came to go and he was not interested in going. it took a combination of convincing and coercing to finally get him out the door, but although the first minute or two were quiet and uncomfortable he suddenly opened up and started talking about the games he remembers from the ps3 back in south africa. that led to a conversation about nostalgia, and about how our moments together now will be something i already know i'll have nostalgia for, and about rebelliousness and teenage hormones and how no matter what he feels we'll always have his back.

we ended up taking a rather long walk through the park, and we both enjoyed it. it was a very good end to a very good day. we got him in time for a second shower, a delicious dinner and the first part of the seventh harry potter movie, and a pleasant bedtime.

and then some more inscryption, act iii. i just discovered the mycologists for the first time 🤯

*sighs deeply*

i think i'm in a better place today than i've been for a while. hopefully that translates to a better work week. regardless, today was a day full of stuff i'm grateful for.