lost in a haystack

i sell the dead was cute, but not much more than that. i was going to work afterwards, but passed out instead, waking up around 2am and spending the next two hours working. then i got back to bed for odd restlessness followed by crazy dreams.

i was in the office early. most of the things i'd written on the weekend worked first time when put into production. the three guys sharing the room with me - the brothers hack and cough, and mr. sneezy, made me feel like i was picking something up after sitting with them for four hours...

i rushed off to catch the bus to campus, and the bus didn't come. i was fifteen minutes late for a twenty minute appointment to discuss one of my seminar papers, and arrived hot and tired after spending most of those fifteen minutes walking fast and in far warmer weather than i'd anticipated in the morning. fortunately, the march hare was in less of a hurry than he'd assumed he'd be.

after lunch and more zombie fiction, i headed into the library to seek the books i'll be needing. three attempts, getting properly lost in the haystack of shakespeare's works and criticism, and it took a helpful little librarian lady* to finally put me in the right area. and then i was overwhelmed by the stuff that was actually relevant, and ended up leaving with a seriously heavy bag.

* as moonflake reminded me, i should have had a bunch of bananas with me

i returned to work, discovered that my money has successfully been transferred to my pimp freelance company, and i should be contacted soon to sort out particulars. i sat with the boss for a short while... it seems like every time we talk the project gets bigger :P

i took my leave, bussed home, went shopping, had dinner, and made some progress with the work. not including a couple of cookie breaks.

most important discovery of the day: pg's theory that the reason i'm always colder than her is because i don't wear slippers around the house appears to be valid. good thing she has oversized spares!

needs brain massage

and a week of rest.

1. notifications of an elderly cousin's terrible mishap - rather a dark way to start the day.

2. improved teacher relations - i was worried i'd offended the march hare on the shakespeare stuff, but he was quite friendly and seems to have accepted some of what i said

3. urgent work call in the middle of class; there's me half-listening to the lecture and editing sql files in gedit, then sending and praying (i found out later it was all good :) )

4. the final class of the orientation course - not the greatest class ever, but overall the students are very happy with what they've learned and we're happy with our experience teaching. we're considering running it again next semester for those who couldn't make it

5. the anime viewing was a phenomenal success (and i consumed too much cake). panty and stocking with garterbelt is my new favourite show!

6. clearing our stuff from the old office, specifically taking office equipment. i got shafted out of a good monitor, but the rest of the stuff i took away is dandy.

7. i got home in time to go out with pg for ice-cream (it's cold, don't ask). she read a quora answer on dating someone with aspberger's that i'd sent her, and then looked up info on aspies, and now agrees with me that it definitely explains a heck of a lot.

8. i thought i only had a little fix to make on my project, but when i tested it i realized that there was a bigger problem that we'd missed. three hours later and i'm exhausted, my brain hurts and i'm totally frustrated at the completely illogical results i'm seeing. AND i'm having performance issues. i almost forgot i don't like database work.

too much of a good thing

i'm tired to the point of hallucinating and i'm certain i'll pass out if i don't get to bed soon, but it's about 9pm and i'm expecting a call anytime soon to tell me that i can upload my work... a problem with the system earlier has made us think it's unreliable so i can't put code into production from home without someone in the office just in case :S

---i handled the reveal really, really badly. the march hare will happily advise and he doesn't not believe me, but i wasn't academic about it and i served as an example of "how not to" for the rest of the class :/

my mother called me up because she was concerned that my recent posts, coupled with my being ordained, are an indication of an unsound mind.

in my defense, she's not familiar with the sonnets but now knows as much as she can without actually reading them, and she understands why i'm so excited. and is disappointed with me for revealing my discovery at all! but, fair's fair, shakespeare told me to.

i'll write up a real article that doesn't just make wild-sounding statements, and as soon as it's out there academically i'll expound all here too. that shouldn't take as long as any other planned work of mine, because this is going to be my seminar paper this year and we have a very definite deadline.

---i met with the plumber at my apartment, who quickly made me unhappy by informing me that the prep work for the roof replacement is big work and quite costly. *sigh*

i thought i'd nap a bit then go to work, but upon getting up off the couch i was convinced that leaving the apartment in my present state would be a bad idea.

right - department website / work / video editing (don't ask) then bed. i don't give a damn about the french class in the morning, even though the test's on sunday and i don't have a good feeling about it.

the selfish meme

i stupidly opened my mouth in front of our whole class last week regarding the idea that is now the kernel of the book i'm writing, and i regretted it the second i realized how marketable it is.

i'm usually pretty free with my ideas.

now, in light of that experience, i'm concerned about approaching the march hare with this new one in case he does me out of it. that's just silly, and i'm going to tell him everything, but dammit! this sensation of "mine-ness" exists!

the more i've thought about it (included a review of something i wasn't sure of in the beginning), the more certain i am - i know who W.H. is. and i understand clearly sonnets that up until now have been really opaque.

william shakespeare - you really are too smart for your own damn good.

---
so - still completely over the moon about this. i've also solved an annoying problem with work, and am ready to report my hours and go to bed.

summary fire

the scientologists didn't have authorization to enter campus, which reflects better on both the student union and the contractors who organize the bazaar. the day was long and entertaining, i got a nasty surprise at work (although i suspect that it's my own fault that i misunderstood the requirement, and otherwise everything's great), then i came home to shop and didn't have energy to do anything more than watch big fish and go to bed.

picked up my copy of ferenc karinthy - metropole this morning, bought stickers (so it's now going to cost me less than a shekel per sheet, instead of twelve), and i've now given up on my webmaster duties for the weekend in favour of getting real work / studying done.

---update: oh, shit! i completely forgot two awesome items:

1. the march hare reading eric idle - who wrote shakespeare? at the beginning of class. inspirational!

2. until yesterday i hadn't been exposed to kant's formulations:

a. "act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law."
b. "act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end."
c. "therefore, every rational being must so act as if he were through his maxim always a legislating member in the universal kingdom of ends."

good to know. i can't disagree with kant... only with those who misinterpret him.

lessrest * 100k

i couldn't sleep again, so much so that i took a couple of melatonin tabs to get through the night. i didn't feel entirely rested when i got up this morning.

the day was hot, humid, rainy, windy, and on my way to the first event things weren't looking good. in spite of that, the sun came out and people began to arrive, someone bought me coffee and random passers-by participated and we ended up having quite a bit of fun - even if i did get a bit sunburned... we're constructing a poem made of words "donated" to us by people on the street and poets; some of the choices were fascinating.

great english breakfast, home to change (and discover that i'd put an open permanent marker in my pocket), then waiting under the municipality building for a ride through to bookworm. things were looking good when wordsworth and i left to set up the park event. which didn't happen in the park: cafe lavender in gan meir didn't have what we needed, not least of which being the right attitude. fortunately, cafe cafe across the road were more than willing to host us, even at ten minutes' notice, and for that we were only too happy to deal with the fees when the evening was over.

dinner with well-known israeli poets, then a night at pappa's with the cream of the crop. some of the evening was a bit boring, but by and large it was excellent and entertaining.

it was all a bit stressful, but i don't think i had as much to do as most of the other organizers. all in all, i'm well pleased with the day; i'm happy with how it went, glad that it's over, and intrigued that in spite of all the things that didn't go smoothly only one person was upset, and quite a few are looking to see how we can get balls rolling.

---of course, of primary importance to me is what *i* read and how it was received. at the cafe cafe reading, i went through my first double dactyl, the wrapping, and should i compare that to the summer's thrust?. my poems were received positively, but not with nearly as much enthusiasm as my first double dactyl, lava people, death song revisited and evolution when i read at the main event! additionally, i dedicated should i compare that to the summer's thrust? to the march hare and the head of our department caught a look; i was touched by their responses :)

titus

titus - is - incredible. i've never read the play, but the combination of shakespeare's raw cruelty with the director's mad visions is aesthetically spellbinding and in all senses disturbing and wonderful.

and now that i've been through the march hare's introduction to shakespeare course, i know to listen really carefully to ol' william's dialog. i'm left speechless.

what kind of a day is tuesday? [part ii]

[...continued]

i watched the first half of the bbc production of the winter's tale, which takes a bit of warming up to, but was far too tired to continue (the blink was getting in the way of the subtitles, and one simply *must* read those for shakespeare). i set my alarm for 6am and have no idea how i managed to wake up only twenty minutes after that to continue watching.

---i didn't finish because i went to the bank - then discovered that there was no need to be there. the woman who'd left me the message telling me to bring them the SWIFT number had forgotten to call me back when it was discovered that they're so advanced that they can look it up themselves.

---from violent pornography to para noir, it was a good morning for darker rock. i picked up coffee as soon as i got to campus, and sat in a shady spot on the grass watching some more of the movie.

first class: tough. not the most exciting of lectures.

during the break i finished the three hour play; i am now well aware of why it's important to read them. aside from remembering names, there are so many visual cues the director must insert and it's always an interpretation. only by reading it "open" can one get at a relatively objective understanding.

second class: i think the march hare likes me. i'm fairly certain that i've gotten the point of the class, he's impressed with most of what i have to say and he's even lent me a copy of a book postulating the wildest of the shakespeare conspiracies. for those who aren't in the know: the conspiracies are all a load of rubbish. we know exactly who wrote all of shakespeare's plays, including his collaborations at the end, and it was a man named william shakespeare. the conspiracy theories all began with the egos of the "university wits" who couldn't handle being outfaced by someone as lowly as an actor - even though today we understand that his understanding of the theatre from within was precisely to his advantage (not to mention his incredible and apparently natural talent with word-play).

on my way off campus, i was shocked to discover that my "tenants" are leaving; dp is off in a few hours from now and man-eater will be vacating my apartment on friday... i was sure they'd be around for the indigo festival!

i dropped off my bag in the office and walked to join mmf and my boss. on the way i ran into a mutual friend of mine and mmf's who's our competition, and it's good that i kept mum on what specifically i'm up to even if it was a little awkward :P

lunch: the food was bad but the philosophy wasn't.

improvement no. 2: a huge monitor, a mouse, a keyboard. very, VERY important.
while the development experience has improved, the work hadn't but at least i wasn't alone in my WTF state. the boss was just as frustrated when he moseyed over to rescue me.

we were both tired, so we called it a day. two half-packed buses (the front parts, obviously) home and a while spent on a side project (a global news aggregator for israelis), then pg and i were off to say farewell to dp. on our way out (9.30pm?) i received a call from a girl claiming to be in connection with a guy who's been trying to get in touch with me for a couple of weeks but appears incapable of following instructions as complicated as "call me on friday."

i told her to call me between 3 and 4pm.

pg and i stopped for shuwarma, then had trouble finding a bus. we eventually caught one... just in time for me to have begun discussing why we laugh.

the evening was pleasant - company and background music - and a discussion on the wonders of living in johannesburg (i did for a year, and was talking to a woman who's going to stay there with her brother for a bit) had pg and i discussing the possibility of organizing a trip to sa during the summer, going through o.z.o.r.a one way and switzerland the other...

we ended up walking all the way home, which was actually quite pleasant.

---today:

after hitting coffeeholic to eat, take the last of my antibiotics, post and chat, in the expectation that dp would invite me for the group farewell breakfast (she didn't, but she called later to tell me she'd simply forgotten), i hurried along to campus for a political sit-down. did i diarize it incorrectly? i arrived in time for the last five minutes.

i went to work, reading about male birth control and being blown away by the implications.

work: i figured it out, made some headway. now i'm learning jquery - which is much easier and more comfortable but still prone to the usual sucky documentation which forces an otherwise unnecessary learning curve. i discussed my salary with mmf, and i'm not satisfied with the way things are going... we seem to be constantly talking at cross-purposes. i hope this shit gets sorted out soon.

---standing amidst the crowd pushing to get on another half-packed bus i made a snide remark, which was rejoined by the woman next to me: "we're israelis, you don't really expect us to behave rationally, do you?"
i shoved and i hinted and commented abrasively about there being plenty of room at the back and none at the front, to which other passengers grudgingly made way and then stared stupidly as i stood reading comfortably while they all inhaled armpit aromas while our rollercoaster bus driver kept them at awkward angles with each other.

i wonder.

---it was 5.30pm before i arrived on campus: those people i mentioned earlier who've had trouble getting hold of me? i know it's something business related, they're either looking to employ me or they need advice. and i have advice for them: buy watches. use a goddamn diary. if you can't respect others' time then you're wasting it.

[continued...]

silent nights

i'm excited. and feeling good. i was feeling exhausted and horrible until i left campus, but when i plugged in my earphones and pumped up the volume on my house collection my spirits rose and things have been smooth since. i had a good, productive day in the (new) office*, had a very positive chat with mmf on my way to the old office, and life feels like it's on track.

* aside from tax issues: the fact that i work two jobs means that both my employers have to pay more taxes for me, and i get paid less to boot. i'm "fortunate" enough to be earning below the next tax bracket, and if i earned more than that such a large percentage would go to tax that it would reduce the incentive to work more hours to zero. what an intelligent system we live with.

---thursday night:

this thing about letting people know how much petrol it takes to start a car... it's like the starfish story.

intimacy on the bus: i was standing reading from my iphone in the middle of the practically empty bus when a man walked in, stood on my left and put his arm across to the pole on my right, leaving me approximately an inch of breathing space. after glaring at him for a minute, i asked him to let me out and stood on his left. i don't think he got the hint.

i wrapped pg's birthday present while she got started with pitch black: a movie that you just *know* came out of an rpg. it's awesome.

---friday:

at midnight, i presented the gifts - a nordstrom snow globe (why are decent snow globes so hard to find? and the shipping made this expensive) and a cute snow-globe keyring with santa claus inside - then we ate cake, i drank whiskey, we watched one piece (my legs got super-stiff again, it's very frustrating) and then passed out.

we woke up comfortably, made good pancakes, argued about the value of judaism and then went on a shopping spree. i can't stand shopping, but i figure that only going once a year on a birthday trip is acceptable. it was tough, but i survived. in the last shop we went to i overheard some old lady talking about a "one piece" and wondered if the manga could be interpreted as some sort of fashion metaphor, where the king of pirates is... yeah, it's a bit much :P

i bought something for myself on the way; two pairs of strap-on pockets. only i forgot to try on both for size, and one of them's too small :S

we had japanese for lunch, which was pretty good - although both of us suspect it had something to do with our not feeling quite well for the remainder of the afternoon.

...

---saturday:

it's weird having constant munchies. and distracting. i spent saturday working. aside from a strange hassle accessing my apache server which resulted in my reinstalling it, only to discover that it was a problem with chrome redirecting my queries to www.localhost.com (good grief!). i was treated to the new version of internet explorer when the auto-updater kicked in. WOW. it's now chrome. it's like microsoft just gave up. yes, i know i'm behind the times, but still...

i took a long walk in the middle of the day to meet with a guy from the completion course so that he could hand-deliver a wedding invitation... i took the opportunity to shop for meat and beers for the evening. those beers turned out to be pretty heavy going on rollerblades, in addition to all the other gear i took with. the spot co-conspirator had found wasn't bad, until the huge function next door put on loud, crappy music* and not even our megaphone could save us.

* a pretentious, emotionally dyslexic child in rishikesh drove me nuts one day playing a song repeatedly on his cellphone, and when i heard it last night i immediately asked what it was.
justin bieber, i hate you.

the barbecue was alright, but i was upset that during the first round of poetry readings barely anybody volunteered and the march hare had joined us. he felt bad because he thought he'd ruined the party, and in the end it turned out that all that was missing was alcoholic lubrication. next time, i'm going to request that everyone starts drinking before they arrive.

the evening was mostly fun, although i was really tired and i'm glad that wr's cocktails weren't particularly strong. the most upsetting part of it all was the end, when i replaced the mat i'd brought and discovered that i hadn't taken out the meat. it had defrosted, so we gave it to some revellers close by and i felt silly.

on the way back home i went past the spot that we'd originally thought to sit at (that wasn't sanctioned by the authorities) and saw that nobody had a problem with barbecuing there, the lighting was better and everywhere was more or less quiet.

dammit :(

i was absolutely exhausted when i got home. pg and i had a number of miscommunications in a row and i went to bed broken and unhappy. at least things were better in the morning.

---today:

i got some work done before heading out... i'd planned on starting my antibiotics courses today, but the pharmacist hadn't put stickers on the pills and i appear to have lost the script. that's quite annoying.

first class was cool - i enjoyed the material and amused myself with the list of common misconceptions. one of the girls gave me a copy of the second gabriel knight game, and pg and i had lunch together before i left campus.

...

now i've got to get some work done.