layers and stages - part ii

[... continued]

sunday:

oh, the rain. the endless rain :(

the workshop for the slam finalists was quite fun, it was nice meeting all the other poets and some of the exercises weren't bad at all. i kinda messed with the program because i had to leave early, but they were accommodating enough to switch things up so that i could get feedback on one of my works before leaving.

did the others really use works they might actually perform? seems silly to show your hand to your competition.

...

the places along the way where i would've eaten dinner were either closed or out of vegan options, and i didn't have time to go shopping. i stopped in at home to pick up the french materials that vfmp had loaned me, scarfed down a frozen meal and went to vfmp's. i would've stayed longer than the minute or two if i'd known that the next buses were going to take forever - i would've known that if i'd looked at the "sunday" schedules instead of the regular weekday ones. that made me feel silly.

i had a stick of liquorice in my jacket which i was very good about not eating because gd likes it too; i wasn't paying attention and she finished the whole thing without me, looking very ashamed when she realized what she'd done :P

i was too tired to move, and passed out on her couch to an episode of angel and the inexplicable universe with neil degrasse tyson. neither of them were particularly engaging.

---monday:

being able to sleep in was amazing!

i spoke to the recruitment agency, and things weren't looking good. i spoke to SxS, and while things aren't so good for him right now it was nice to catch up and introduce him to gd. it looks like we might meet up soon, too.

gd went to see her dentist, which is right next to my starbucks so i sat there working on my comics until she was done. which was a long, long time. it was during that time that my throat began to get scratchy and i started coughing a bit, which would slowly but surely progress until i developed full-blown sinusitis. it's not clear if it's an allergy thing or not, but what is clear is that this is not at all good timing.

once gd was done and i'd eaten something, we went to the further supermarket and found the vegan cheese we'd been seeking the day before. i called up a recruiter who's a contact of hers to introduce myself, then phoned the tax authority to see if i'd be able to pay them yet. gd was in hysterics as i tried to reason with the agent, eventually reaching the conclusion that i'm going to have to call once a week until i'm allowed to pay them. and the interest for not having paid them on time.
the bureaucracy is astounding.

muay thai: i partnered with a girl who's much shorter than me. we worked well, but everything was more difficult for both of us. when i say well, i mean really hard and my body went all rubbery when i started the boxing class afterwards. i was partnered with army brat, who i managed to upset so severely that at one point she didn't want to continue to work with me. on the one hand i felt bad, but on the other hand the second she got angry she actually got off her ass an worked.

we ended the class amiably, and i can't figure out if she was exaggerating or if i was really being such an asshole. i hope it's not the latter, i'm going to do my best not to be that guy :/

i chugged a triple-liquid dinner when i got home (protein shake, orange juice and tonic water, each downed separately) then slowly moved my developing sore throat to gd's. that was when i listened to my voicemail and heard that the company i interviewed for last week wants me on board.

fantastic! only the other company that i really, really want to work for was only supposed to get back to me tomorrow, so at 4am her time i called up my mother for advice on how to delay things.

...

gd may not be vegan, but she's 100% vegan-friendly. her vegan étagé is absolutely delicious! ^_^

---yesterday:

we went to sleep after watching orgasm inc. - it's a great documentary and highlights just how disturbingly bad we are at defining "normal", the baseline for all medicine and psychological treatment. it's all sad and ugly.

i slept well but my throat infection was in full swing; then gd had a rough morning so the day wasn't terrific from the get-go.

i spent an hour or two posting, worried about how to not accept the job graciously, then hopped off to meet with vector to discuss turning one of my poems into a short movie. we bounced ideas off each other until we were both enthusiastic and excited, and he's now done with his studies so he has time to begin implementing. nice!
we were both intrigued to hear tracks from nine inch nails - hesitation marks playing at starbucks.

i shaved, overdressed (!) and went to the offices to discuss my contract and take a tour. everyone's really nice, the initial terms on the contract were what i was going to ask for and everything, including the dress code, is to my liking. i even got along well with the egyptian security guard while waiting to be shown in.

i walked out with the unpleasant feeling that not taking the job would be disloyal after all that.

...

gd's recruiter-friend's partner called me up to discuss my status and what i'm looking for. he has plenty of work for me, but nothing that can wait for a permit application.

a couple of weeks ago i got bloodwork done, and i called them up to see if the results were in.
"yes, sir - they came in the next day."
i love how they let us know - i would've checked sooner but they always say "up to three weeks" :(

...

kickboxing: the jolly moroccan makes for a tough partner, impact with him was killer and i received tons of important corrections from our trainer. i was quite impressed with myself because my breathing and my cardio were just fine in spite of my throat hating me.

i hurriedly prepared my self and a salad before going to gd's. she's having serious back trouble so we watched stand-up for a bit and then went to bed.

odd bits

i left late yesterday evening, but the universe was still playing nice and even the previous metro was delayed just long enough that i'd make it downtown on time. i arrived at gd's work - she's a stylist - and meeting her co-workers was pleasant and amusing and could have been very embarrassing had i been at all self-conscious :P

we went to p.m. for a delicious dinner, and went back to her place having both eaten far too much.

...

i didn't sleep too well, something about my limbs was uncomfortable the whole night. not in an rls way, i suspect it was something like exhausted relief after the whole pinched-nerve ordeal.

the morning was super-slow, and when i eventually got home i contacted the recruiter that army brat had referred me to. it was super-awkward getting through to her and her not having a clue who i was talking about, i was convinced that army brat had been using an alias or something :P

i finally went to get laundry coins from the supermarket, which took forever because the girl miscounted and i had to wait for a particularly slow customer before i could get my last 25c. *sigh*
at least i wasn't in any hurry.

---i'm amused: a lady at starbucks gave me a lecture about how risky it is to leave my jacket unattended. she then proceeded to question me on my accent, and after making sure that i'd had places to go for passover she and her husband are now making inquiries through their networks to see if they can help me find employment.

oh, canada.

---i've got a couple of hours to be productive before gd comes over and we go to the gym together (she does kickboxing in another one, so she's checking us out). before that, there've been links accumulating and a short family rant brewing. i'll begin with the latter:

i have an aunt and uncle who live with their family in los angeles. i haven't been in contact with them in many years, and to be honest i'm not particularly driven to be so but that's neither here nor there. a few years ago my uncle had a stroke and his quality of life obviously hasn't been the same since, but he was kind of okay and that's cool. recently, though, he fell very ill (i don't recall what specifically happened) and he's now in a situation wherein his family is keeping him on life support and they've just inserted a feeding tube because he's no longer with us.

there is nothing, absolutely nothing good that can come of this. they're keeping him alive for the most selfish of reasons, and it's totally inhumane and cruel. even if he does wake up, he's not going to be able to enjoy the rest of his life. pull the damned plug. life support without a good chance of a meaningful return to health is cruelty.

---the idea of vat-grown vaginas may sound weird, but i find it unbelievably cool tech and it's awesome that these guys are doing such a good job. i'm also impressed that they managed to keep their mouths shut until they had real results to present!

between lifehacker explaining why all our passwords suck and hearing about the possibility that the nsa knew about heartbleed, i'm left feeling deeply uncomfortable about the state of our privacy and security.

i saw "the hebrew mamita" ages ago, even a couple of times, but watching her again yesterday made me emotional. i don't know why.

montreal's getting a vegan grocery store? awesome :)

the first instagram from space is a selfie by an astronaut wearing a firefly shirt. that's frikkin' excellent :D

pre-screening

aww, man. i ate at cafe juicy lotus today. they had a delicious quinoa-based vegan pizza, but i wonder if the woman was mistaken and there was cheese under all those veggies because i've had the most horrific headache since i got home. now is not the time, i've got my screening interview in the morning :(

---i forgot to mention that on my way out of the gym last night i tripped over army brat's tog bag that she'd left just around a corner. this wouldn't be interesting except that i walked into it with my cracked toe, which was finally healing and is now back to really sore :(

i woke up early this morning, in time to catch a majestic sunrise, then proceeded to spend my day studying with the occasional distraction. a constant over the last couple of weeks has been another case solved - it's just like 10000000 in terms of its grip, and oddly enough it has the same underlying mechanics. the story's pretty cool, though, and there're some levels i want to revisit because they contain some cool easter eggs.

i met up with newk'd at cafe juicy lotus to go over the basics of filling out tax returns. the tax bureau's envelopes are insanely complicated to open! i spoke to aota to clarify something that didn't seem right and it appears that megaman forgot to do something that may or may not be to my benefit in the long run. a lot of other customers were speaking hebrew, which was pretty weird. between today and the last time i spoke to pg, i'm amazed at how much french comes out when i'm trying for hebrew!

---i've been feeling crap since i got home, i hope it's not serious. i'm struggling to wrap my head around things that really aren't complicated and i couldn't even nap. ugh :(

easy like a monday morning

well, i'm feeling sensitive today! i just watched another couple of episodes of freaks and geeks and i'm totally in. it's been light and fun, sometimes a little off, but overall its characters are absolutely wonderful and their development is sneakily subtle.

---i woke up this morning from epic dreams in a final fantasy world. odd mountains and oceans and guns and magical creatures. very cool.

i woke up this morning to an sms from sq telling me about a french movie i should watch that reminded her of me. i just saw the trailer for it, it looks interesting. i wonder what the connection is?

the first thing i did when i got up, as i knew i needed to go outside, was check the weather app. apple ui fail: i accidentally pressed on the temperature and discovered that THAT'S how to get all the details! why would i intentionally press on the temperature?! it's a display, with no indication to the contrary. if you can tap somewhere to get more detail then it should be clear. or there should be a tutorial.

i felt horrid on my way out, kinda dizzy. as if friday night's events hadn't totally finished with me... but it was gorgeous out, minus the evilly cold wind. i came across a postal van decorated with superman: so they think superman's 75th birthday is cool enough to celebrate with stamps? when i was a kid and stamp collections were a thing, i never saw this coming :)

i drew the cash i needed, so suspicious that the machine hadn't given me everything because all the notes were so new that the wad felt too thin. i looked around to make sure i was alone and quickly counted next to the machine, which is something i know not to do. nothing bad happened, but i still felt ashamed.

i was on my way to walmart when i recalled the homeless pirate and suddenly the comment i made then concretized. as of now i'm only going to refer to toonies as "doubloons". or "doubloonies", at a push. and it makes enough sense that everyone will get it, just like everyone calling the two shekel coin "shnekel" (shne is "two" in hebrew).
ooh, an opportunity to share stephen fry making a marvellous point about being a guardian of language.

i was freezing by the time i walked into walmart, the wind being bitter and mean. my mission was simple, i found thick glass cups quickly and easily, loaded up on some builder bars and then headed out to subway for lunch. or second breakfast. what the hell?! it really is only my local subway that doesn't do falafel. bastards!

when i got home, i paid my rent and finally sorted out the piles of papers that have been accumulating over the past month. i found my caq... which appears to be locked in to my previous employer. oh, shit. maybe it doesn't matter. whatever.

i plugged in my leap motion controller and tried getting the sample code to run - i thought it was broken, but it needs to be set up in a specific way that's not explained in a readme file. why not?!

i went shopping before heading out to the french meetup as a pretext to acquire laundry coins. the experience was efficient but i forgot the damned coins, and it was so bloody cold...

the meetup was cool. by the time i arrived both tables were full, and beginners were being tutored on both sides of me. at least there were oreos. i forced a conversation with the guy across from me, but he gave up at some point, and shortly after the guy next to me took a break from tutoring and we started talking. he's slightly more advanced than i am, but we had stuff to talk about which was nice. i ran through one of the canned role playing exercises with someone else, and overall i think it was a good experience.

i also found out about tv5.org, which godmother had been telling me about. nice!

i've been reviewing a friend of mine's book pre-publishing, it's a pdf on my kindle. so... i've finally found a use for highlighting things :P

boxing: i've become one of the guys, it appears. and i don't think the girl said anything to the coach about my dancing. i was partnered with an older woman who's been allowed to join the advanced class but needs a ton of work to get up to speed... i'm starting to sense a pattern, a flattering one in which i'm the goto guy for technique. i was happy to do it, though it didn't give me much opportunity to practice. fortunately, nobody minded switching partners for impact and i went with a guy who hits pretty hard. after that, a sparring partner i haven't seen since the beginning of winter returned and i joined him and a buddy of his for muay thai in the octogon.

i was completely gassed by the end of the last round with them, i'd gone three or four and my left leg and foot are quite banged up. i would've preferred being better than "you're much better", i certainly wasn't in control and there were a few times when i just stood in front of my opponent and took punishment - having said that, it wasn't bad at all and i'm really glad we're back in action :)

army brat came past as we were finishing up and i harassed her about her technique. i tried to work with her on one of the bags, and suddenly realized that her punching and kicking is completely irrelevant in light of the issues she has with her stance. i love figuring out the causes! our coach laughed when he saw the exercises i was making her do, exercises i had to do for taekwondo thirteen years ago that made a world of difference. once we'd established what her homework was, i was ready to head home.

after showering, i finally went back onto the dating site and got back on the horse. pulse has been relegated to "miss february", and it's march now. after that, i discovered that the slam on sunday is only going to be two rounds. oh, shit! well, i'm prepared for four, and while it's usually not easy to cut pieces i knew exactly which had to be relegated to the following event.

---brainbug - nightmare came on on my way to the french meetup, and i daydreamed about the first time i heard it. i was about to write about it when i realized that i may have done that before. oh gods, i'm repeating stories on my blog, just like i do in real life. oh, no...

reading over writing

thursday:

i spent the remainder of the night going through course material (mcgill's chem181), and went to bed wondering if strange markings on my right bicep were the beginnings of a rash. [apparently not, but they were pretty bizarre. and almost cool.]

i dreamed a very strange dreams that ended with a car not slowing down and careening through a red light, almost slamming into a crowd that had to jump out of its way; i woke up able to recall the license plate that i couldn't find anyone to report to.

...

i woke up thinking that regardless of second chances i had to explain myself, so i did. i spent most of the rest of the day doing duolingo lessons and reading harry potter. now that i have the dictionary, i'm almost reading at my regular pace and i'm absorbing new words at what feels like a pretty good rate! i hope it's not too late, my exam is in six days...
(O_o)

match.com gave me quite a scare! i signed up months ago to give it a try and quickly discovered, to my chagrin, that it's a sucky service and not at all worth throwing money at. not only was there a sunk cost for the initial membership, but they *automatically* renewed my membership with no warnings, options or permission! $100 to maintain an account i don't want? no thank you!
i was seriously stressing until i got through to an online assistant, who speedily organized a refund and apologized for the crappy experience. i deactivated my account immediately and i hope never to hear from them again.

in the late afternoon i went to get exam photos taken at the photo labs adjacent to walmart. i got out at the namur metro station and realized that i had forgotten my wallet, so that was annoying. when i got back home and picked up my wallet i saw that i'd left a half a glass of water in a cup and realized that i was thirsty, so i tried to quickly down it and ended up choking so badly that i threw up. that didn't improve my mood much :(

what did improve my mood was coming across a beggar with blue-streaked hair holding up the following sign as i left the station:
"jack sparrow stole my pirate ship - need gold doubloons"
the big smile on my face was totally worth a loonie - the golden single dollar coin ;)

the photo labs' picture taking service? it's a PORTRAIT taking service. like, for families wanting to do kitsch. they don't do standard sizes other than passport photos, which didn't help me. i couldn't stop the girl in time from writing their contact details on a flyer for me, i didn't want the damned flyer and i will not be guilted into taking one. why the hell aren't the contact details already printed on them? why do people have to waste so much frikkin' paper?!

i had less than an hour to get to the gym to meet kgb, so so much for getting the task done. fortunately, spending an hour working with kgb put me back in a good mood. kickboxing was really tough, so much so that one of the new guys almost passed out and had to be bought a powerade and have a friend called to pick him up. bummer...

most of guys in the class were francophone, so i hung around to listen to the chatter before going home for dinner and tekken.

---yesterday:

i was in an odd mood before bed, and managed to burn more than an hour going through poetry that i'd like to use for slam and timing it.

...

the day was ugly: warm and rainy and icy. that meant slipping a lot and either getting soaked or having to carry an umbrella, which was most inconvenient :(

my morning consisted of heading downtown to get my exam photos done - this was handled in french from the moment they understood what the photos were for. i bought more of my breakfast shake powder and had a decent lunch reading, then paid a visit to the hairdresser. who was watching hockey, i suspect the meh-ness of my haircut might be related to my disturbing his experience.

i dropped everything at home and went to starbucks for coffee and more reading, printed out my "convocation" for the french exam (whatever the hell that is), did the shopping (thinking a lot about the discomfort of carrying said shopping with an umbrella in hand) and was disappointed to discover that my ski jacket wasn't ready to be picked up from the cleaners (i spilled the last drops of an energy drink in an inner pocket :( ).

i filled out a survey that could theoretically win me $5000 - any port in a storm, says the unemployed man.

i enjoyed a glorious, too-short nap and woke up to some pre-class harry potter with a cup of tea. it's totally sucked me in again! and this time i'm paying attention to the hectic foreshadowing...

boxing: my jump rope experience is usually partial, for various reasons, but yesterday i got the full one. i was impressed that i still had use of my arms by the end of it :P
the first round of pads was hardcore, the guy holding for me is a beginner and has no sense of pacing. this turned out to be perfect because while the round wiped me out, once it was done the coach pulled me out to work with the new (very cute) girl and teach her the basics. while i was distracted the whole class burst into hysterics because he said something funny about me, and later i'd find out that the laughter was mostly shock that he'd actually paid me a large compliment.

it was her first impact training, obviously, and so (after explaining what it's all about and how to manage the strikes) i began with punches so soft that i was sure she'd know i was exaggerating - nope! she improved noticeably, though, and by the end was handling most of my punches. then it was her turn, and when a couple of the other girls saw this they decided to step in and take turns demonstrating what impact's all about. one hit me decently, one flailed about pathetically... that was army brat. she's very "gangsta" when she punches - she makes a lot of effort and does very little because her technique sucks, just like when a "gangsta" holds a gun sideways and shoots all his bullets off the mark.

anyway, i couldn't figure out if the cute girl was apologizing afterwards for not hitting me or for actually getting the hang of it towards the end :P

the guys invited me to dine with them at canda, so i rushed home to shower and change and joined them soon afterwards. overall the evening was fun, although army brat got more boring and annoying as the night wore on, as did the shitty service and the fact that there weren't many vegan options, what they did have was iffy and nothing i had justified the insane $35 buffet cost. at least everyone else had brought decent wine and the company was mostly entertaining, though my enthusiasm for sitting on the french side of the table lessened as the time passed.

---today:

i got home around midnight and spent the next two hours reading and eating skittles. then i went to bed and dreamed. in the second-to-last dream uncle puberty suffered a third heart attack [out of zero, weird] while driving just ahead of the post-party bus where my nice and only nice clothes for work the next morning had been hanging but disappeared. the last dream was an overly-detailed dream about dreaming. very inception.

...

i stayed down for a long while enjoying that glorious feeling when you're so comfortable lying in that the last thing you want to do is get out of bed... and you don't *have* to ^_^

...

i got up after a phone call from horseman and an email from pulse. the former was an invitation to meet and practice french, the latter was to let me know that a friend of hers in a well-known company has seen my resume and will happily put in a word for me. very cool!

i spent some time catching up on my rss feed - i've been neglecting it for the longest time - accumulating some crazy linkage (but i have to go now, you're spared for the moment), then met horseman on the plateau. the day would have been stunning if not for the wind, so checking out parc lafontaine was a mistake. we went underground for the next couple of hours, then came back to my place for tekken before i kicked him out so that i could post, do laundry and eat before going to the village to watch ufc 170.

it's time!

principles

so, like, wow. firstly, pulse: she sent me a long, obviously well thought-out missive explaining her position, the only real issue being a complete misunderstanding of my views regarding some fundamental things. i'm surprised and saddened by that, but not shocked because i realize precisely what the source of confusion is and i accept that it's my fault. which kinda sucks. so here's hoping for a redo...

secondly, i feel like i'm back in action regarding my training. i did muay thai and boxing this evening, it was tough but i powered through and feel totally solid. unfortunately, along the way i banged my ankle (not too seriously, but it's aggravating), managed to slam my wrist into somebody's elbow and i think that during the first (of two) impact training one of my ribs got slightly bruised :/

there was some serious weirdness with the girls; i think i made it clear to army brat that i'm only interested in her as a gym buddy but then the girl i gave the valentine's day chocolate to gave me a vega chocolate in return. anyway, they're both good for my french, and while we were talking i met a palestinian who runs a software house here and is looking for talent. cool :)

---i've now watched a couple of episodes of the good wife, and i'm enjoying it. it's kind of formulaic and kind of not? whatever.

i played a lot more tekken last night than i'd planned. shit's addictive.

...

i woke up from a dream in which i was watching tv outside in the rain, some kids came through and stole all sorts of shit... i caught them, beat them enough to get their attention and then lectured them.

i've been reading harry potter using the kindle app and not my actual kindle because the french / english dictionary i found was no good. but the kindle app's only french dictionary is french / french, so if you don't read french it's really tough to make heads or tails of things. i have a good french / english dictionary app as well, but switching between it and the kindle app causes a resync every - single - time, which is insane, so reading has been particularly slow going. and also not particularly good for my eyes, but anyway.
then i suddenly realized that i can read the book on my kindle and use the dictionary app simultaneously - that worked much better but was still far from comfortable. so this morning i decided to look again for a better dictionary for my kindle.

merriam-webster's french-english translation dictionary, kindle edition has some shitty reviews, but i couldn't find a better-looking option so i bit the $8 bullet... and lo! it's an excellent dictionary and now reading in french has become a pleasure. nice one!

so that's mostly what i was doing today. in the afternoon i took my kindle to starbucks for a change of scenery, but that's about it.

when i got home from training it was to a message from newk'd about an art evening at foufounes électriques, so i hurriedly gobbled down my super-salad and headed out there. they have a weekly competition to produce large pieces, and voting is done by placing sponsored beer cans into provided bins. very clever... out of about six or seven pieces, there were two really good ones and one had better finishing, so that's where my tin voice went. there were four of us and we all had a great evening :)

---be wary of unnecessary x-rays: i'm now even less happy with the trigger-happy dentist who fucked up my mouth, but at least i know better for next time!

the rekindle candle is absolutely brilliant. i want a couple of those.

there's a kickstarter happening for a kill shakespeare boardgame. i didn't know there was a third volume out, so i'm thinking of backing at the $15 level as i'll probably buy it anyway.

broken valentine

as i mentioned last night, i ran into pulse on the bus to godmother's, and she was polite. polite. that's not at all what i was expecting. i didn't know what to make of it, but this morning she sent me a message so i figured things might be fine... but then she ignored my response (which included a question). later i wrestled with an email letting her know how i feel (i put way too much effort into it not coming across too heavy), and since then i haven't heard a word from her. i feel like i deserved something back, at least. even something negative. i don't know what i did or didn't do, but this is obviously not working. which makes me sad, because aside from whatever the hell's going on (or not?) she's awesome. but not so awesome that i'm okay with being ignored. nobody's that awesome.

---the hours flew by pretty quickly today, i spent most of them on french and some on random shit. including reporting a phishing attempt to bell that's apparently been driving them crazy: an sms with a link to a legitimate bell.ca url that's been hacked to steal account data.

i spoke to somebody today who seemed positive about employing me... that felt good.

i went to the french conversation meetup, and was far more confident! i also learned some helpful things. and that i have lots more to learn and practice.

i took my frustrations with pulse into boxing class with me, which i knew wasn't cool, but managed to offload them quickly enough. or put them aside, at least. i worked with army brat, and we did impact at the end of the class. she seemed to be hitting me pretty hard, and expressed shock at how much tougher i am, but i didn't really feel much even when she hit my soft spots (solar plexus and liver) and i can't help but question if it's me who's tougher or her who's weaker. and then i felt super embarrassed when i hit her so hard that she apparently peed a little.

*sigh*

i chatted with her and the girl i gave the chocolate to on friday after class, mostly in french. i suspect that the girl who got the chocolate might actually have taken it as a serious romantic gesture. that would be awkward!

i've been working on memorizing the first two poems that i posted last week, and i'm quite pleased that they're already feeling ready to be shared on stage ^_^

i chugged a protein shake and went to vfmp's to watch another episode of house of cards. vfmp, his boyfriend and his brother are all 100% vegans, and it was most validating to hear them enthusiastically agreeing with me in response to their reading my vegans unite! post. it seems we are united!

episode seven of house of cards is a clear improvement and i feel like the season is almost back on track.

---scrapper has introduced me to the idea of chess boxing. certainly not for me, but interesting nonetheless. hmm. perhaps if tekken replaced chess...

this video gives a little perspective on the bds movement.

vigorously groggy

shit, i was feeling fine aside from my sinuses and chest, now that i've been medicating (off-the-shelf) they're slightly better but i'm exhausted and half-stoned. come on! s'not right. i'm actually doing nothing but being sick today. that's kinda weird, being employed and taking a sick day.

---friday:

some of the night was peaceful, some unfortunately restless and frustrating. i didn't have far to go to get up for early training, but my chest was still buggered. i worked with vfmp for about an hour and a half on uppercuts, which to my great relief and satisfaction he eventually got, and then he started drilling me on the jiu-jitsu moves he'd shown me the last time. the progress i'm making is *so* slow! and it's such a head game. towards the end we rolled a bit, and were treated to zahabi himself stopping us to give us pointers and make sure that we'd internalized them. that - was - AWESOME ^_^

i got home to face job hunting stress... i had some emails and applications to sort out, and felt so overwhelmed by it that i sat down to watch a bit of comedy and learn some french instead. a bit later i received a call from one of the girls from my french class whose husband had recommended me for a job opening, and after investing an inordinate amount of time re-entering my data* i made a point of applying for a bunch of other jobs there as well.

* why can't all the companies using taleo's hr system let me use the same account? it's such a ridiculous mission filling in the same damned forms with the same damned information every single time :/

...

i have finally registered for the french exam at the end of the month. there's a lot of work to be done. i'm a bit nervous.

...

evening boxing: my chest was much better until the end of the class, and my ankle was mostly fine. i was partnered with army brat, who took her dancing / boxing crossover technique to a new level when she unwittingly shot her right foot into the air for a half-pirouette in the middle of a punch. i was laughing, but tears were actually streaming down her face from the combination of laughter and shame!

my previous assessment about the boxing coach not liking me any more proved wrong. he was giving the beginners in the class a lecture about sparring and when it was over he made it clear that we're cool. i managed to get a smile out of the guy, which undid the inadequacy i was feeling for having disappointed him.

...

everyone who was supposed to come for the house of cards marathon either cancelled at the last minute or arrived late, so i had enough time to shower and eat after getting home late myself.
that show is unbelievably cool and clever. just like downton abbey, it's excellently written and the finesse is greatly appreciated! we got through three episodes and i'm totally into it now.

...

after everyone had left and i was about to get into bed, i received an email from the accountant. the amount of money the israeli tax authority owes me wouldn't even make a dent in the more than NIS 20,000 they're demanding in late fees! this horror show keeps getting worse...

...

if i'm flossing and can taste the hand soap flavour, did i just wash my own mouth out with it?

---saturday:

i read wired's zappotopia article before trying to sleep. privately funding a tech / burning man scene in vegas is really interesting stuff! i turned off the light, and instantly the rls nightmare started. it would be over an hour of suffering before i finally passed out and slept well, and a few hours later i got up to a sore nose and dry hands.

happy days :/

it was a gorgeous morning, my health notwithstanding, and i met army brat and the guy from the week before for light sparring. the guy discovered that there's an all-levels sparring class every saturday morning that's precisely what we need, so now that i've initiated army brat we'll be joining them.

---i didn't leave myself much time to eat and rest before heading out to pick up the rental car. i drove home, prepared my gear, then went to pick up k-twang's friend and go through to mont saint sauveur. relying on google maps on an iphone when driving to saint sauveur for the first time was a big mistake! and the province has a sardonic sense of humour when it comes to highway signage.

driving in quebec in winter: the other drivers are not a problem. the weather conditions were fine. but what the hell, quebec? not only are the signs utterly unhelpful on the rare occasion that they exist, but the road lane markings on the highways are practically invisible at night. wtf?!
aside from getting quite lost on the way there, taking two hours instead of forty five minutes*, the weather was just fine for driving. i'm really not comfortable driving in quebec, i had a couple of embarrassing incidents that would never have happened in cape town because i'd have been more focused on actually driving. the first was going too fast over a speedbump that had been partially covered over with snow, and the second was hurriedly switching from reverse to drive before coming to a complete stop. fortunately neither of those did any damage to the car, but they did make me feel stupid.

* still faster than the bus. but not easier.

anyway.

saint sauveur's late-night skiing special was excellent! the slope conditions weren't fantastic but they were still fun, the dj's they installed at the lift played funky beats and the only thing that wasn't great was that my ankle limited me a bit. it was fine for regular stuff, though it took me a few runs to relax, but the first time i attempted to switch i felt the torque and knew that i really shouldn't try anything demanding.

...

the slopes closed around midnight but we were done by around 11pm. the ride home was uneventful, though it took forever for the windshield to defog, and i got back too late to use the metro. there was a trance party happening downtown that i really wanted to go to and i was feeling up for it, but i didn't want to take the car*, a taxi at that hour was way too expensive and the night buses would have been a mission. i must have deliberated for over half an hour before finally deciding to call it a night.

* i thought that finding parking would be difficult. i've been informed since that that's not the case.


---yesterday:

i don't know what the hell tilt got a parking ticket here for, but before going to bed i walked up and down the street to try to find some sign that didn't suggest that weekends are cool. i finally decided that rather than risk it i'd get up super early and return the car instead.

...

a coughing fit in the middle of the night was so bad that i felt my jaw unhinge. that was ugly and scary.

...

my alarm freaked me out when it went off, but i'd been so deep in my dreams that even after returning from dropping the car off i fell straight back into them.

thought for the morning: being allergic to kleenex would really suck.
[or blow, as moonflake kindly suggested]

---i got up later feeling better but sounding worse, and went to godmother's for a chat over great lentil soup and a delicious bagel. one of the things we talked about was my joining the british airways frequent flyers program, and what a pity it was that i didn't do that before going to cape town. i was bummed that they hadn't kept any of my flight data on their systems... i spoke to my mother who'd kept my boarding pass stubs and was explaining to me how between the one stub i did keep and the luggage tag i should be able to reclaim the miles, and was becoming disheartened when i couldn't find information on the website explaining what to do with them.

but lo! suddenly, as if by magic, a form appeared before me asking me for an e-ticket number. which i located in my email, entered, and suddenly had all my points. so they *do* store previous flight details! i wonder why they wouldn't let me view my history, then?

anyway, i'm rather glad i didn't have to do any more.

---i did laundry, and was inspired by a lone sock someone left on the machine: laundry rhyme.

i went to the pharmacy to pick up cold medicine, quickly ate at subway and did a super-fast shopping run. somehow that took me an hour, which meant that i was late for my date! and then i just missed the metro :(

no matter, i arrived before she did. and it wouldn't have mattered much if i hadn't! i cannot imagine what could possibly make a girl think that using someone else's photo for a profile picture would be a good idea. i promise you it's not something that goes unnoticed. she looks nothing like the picture, which put us on extremely odd footing, and the more we spoke the less i felt that this was the same woman i'd spoken to online. although making the mistake of having a first date with our attention focused elsewhere had concerned me at first, in this case it turned out to be a blessing. she's not unattractive, mind, i'm just blown away by the attempted ruse and simultaneously amused by the fact that there's not going to be a second date and we're probably going to see each other once a month now.

...

my introduction to the throw poetry collective:

"are you going to compete tonight?"
"no, i'm just here to scope out the competition."
"great! you can judge, then."

that's certainly one way to do it! i had a lot of fun. whenever i gave low scores and everyone shouted "higher!" i just wanted to shout back "stop judging me!", but overall i think everyone agreed that the judging was fair. there were some awful attempts, especially the open mic, but there was some great stuff - one of the better poets (in my opinion) happened to be a particularly sexy girl, so there was this perpetual internal debate over whether i was really scoring her performance or if it was just her...

anyway, there were some wonderful surprises. but the guest poet? AMAZING. titilope sonuga projected a stream of beautiful works into my consciousness and left us all in stunned silence. she has a couple of pieces on soundcloud...

i'm very glad that my coughing wasn't too bad. i only needed to cough twice and i managed to suppress it until there was an appropriate moment.

...

i left absolutely inspired. i needed the fix! i'll definitely get up on stage next time :)

---today:

i got home at a reasonable hour to go to bed but felt an urge to play fallout instead. a couple of hours flew by and i thoroughly enjoyed them!

i medicated before going to sleep; i slept well, but woke up with tender, stuffed sinuses. i spent an inordinate amount of time responding to dating messages, played some tekken, and did very little else. i'm off in a bit to vfmp's for dinner and more house of cards.

---love 'em or hate 'em, this month's wired article on monsanto is a must-read. fascinating stuff!

norway's olympic response is awesome.

applying myself

every time i hear andy ling - fixation now i'm taken back to the ledhedz bus / afrikaburn fundraising party. and to tens if not hundreds of amazing house parties around the millennium.

*sigh*

---yesterday:

yesterday was a better perspective day! though i'm not sure if my mom saying "great!" when i told her i was hit in the face repeatedly for half an hour in order to practice not closing my eyes counts as a part of that perspective. my forehead's a bit tender now :P (though my brain's definitely fine)

i left too early for the date, and there's not a lot to do in ndg on a cold sunday night. i would have bought a container of oreos at the supermarket had it fit in my pocket - i think i may have raised the security guard's suspicions when checking that.

the date was nice, the girl's not my type but we had a good evening nonetheless. i was amused to discover that she's friends with newk'd - but then, he does get around a bit.

---today:

i woke up early, and was surprised by a visit from the caretaker. who wanted a reference from me, of all people. i didn't really want to write it but if he doesn't get another job i'll get even less preference if he's offended... so i wrote one that manages to be honest yet complementary and now i'm wondering how he expects me to give it to him as i don't have a printer.

while he was here he checked out the toilet which is still giving me grief. gorram presence effect! :@

i spent most of the day applying for jobs. if i apply for a job on linkedin do i need to send in a cover letter or a resume? one can only upload a single file so i went with the resume, but as they've already got access to all my resume's information through the linkedin profile that seems like it might not be the right choice.
why do these things have to be so complicated?! why can't i be hired based on my professional merits rather than my ability to seek work expertly?!

...

of all people to be writing comics, alyssa milano has produced hacktivism. i - am - impressed.

...

i went early to the french conversation meetup to enjoy the vegan pseudo-shepherd's pie at cafe juicy lotus while reading harry potter in french, and was pleased to find myself mostly comfortable talking and listening. confidence: level up!
the cute french volunteer and i were headed in the same direction afterwards and continued the conversation in french until she realized that she'd missed her stop :)

boxing: it was a tough class, and excellent. it was mainly tough because i was working with a guy who knows how to work well and is happy to push me past my limits. i'm fairly certain he's gay, which is why when he was being questioned by one of the girls as to why his gear that usually colour matches didn't i suggested that it worked perfectly because his orange shoes were matched to my training shirt. there was a lengthy and hysterical moment wherein the flabbergasted girl couldn't figure out if i was serious or not :D

army brat was a little more enthusiastic about getting back in the ring to hit me than i find flattering, but it was a good opportunity to discover that yesterday's drills were by far not enough. i did worse than before :(

---one of the fighters was doing weights, he and i have talked a couple of times about psychology because he's studying it. he immediately got where i was going about the nature of reality (i think i've learned to explain it better over the years, perhaps i'll rewrite that post someday) and it inspired a thought: you know that worry that other people know what you're thinking when you think an embarrassing thought? or that concern that people will find out when you do something in private that you feel they'd disapprove of?

well, they do. and they already know, and they most certainly disapprove! because your personal representations of those other people are with you every step of the way! so while the "real" person has no clue what's going on in your head, the "spirits" you carry around with you have an all-access pass. how's that for a weird thought?

---i've hurt my back a little - my back wasn't warm enough when i got into the ring - and i'm praying it'll be fine in time to work with the guy who punched me out on friday because that's happening tomorrow evening. it did make me take a hot bath, though; i'm thirty three years old, and training in tristar has finally brought me to an understanding of why hot baths are great :)

i've watched an episode of downton abbey, some ufc, and now that i've posted this i think i'm ready for a good sleep.

---the american empire is proper-fucked: the anti-science brigade is winning their war of stupid..

to the face

"to the face" is the hebrew expression for "crazy" or "hardcore", but it's what i had in my head when i arrived in the gym this morning after a quick walk against the freezing wind and it describes the surprisingly hard punches i received during my time in the ring with army brat. i've been warned not to train myself into facing punches head first, but i really do need to get used to forcing my eyes open. i think this morning was productive.

what i didn't know until we left was that it was her first time in the ring! in spite of herself, she's now finally interested in sparring. very cool :)

...

apparently i'm scary when i practice liver shots to a punching bag. army brat tells me it seems like i have some pent-up aggression that needs an outlet, and i have to admit that giving a punching bag that kind of beating feels really good :P

---after finishing this week's chem 181 lectures, i watched a bit of george carlin - life is worth losing last night, but stopped because some of his political rant was a little too close to home considering my previous post. but i did love his i'm a modern man poem!

and while i'm linking, nystire introduced me to horrorscopes that are so unkind that they break through my skepticism (and part 2) because i, like everyone else, like to believe things that are bad about myself. even if they're not true. at least, i seriously hope they're not :P

and he also introduced me to the okcupid hacking article. if this guy gamed the system and *still* had to go out on 88 dates to find love, i'm not sure that his "hacking" was worth it.

...

i woke up this morning freaking out, furiously trying to figure my way out from behind the bars of my little prison of fears. then i remembered something important: smile. smile, for real, and relax. i have a little time, *someone* will hire me and i will get my french sorted out regardless. where there's a will there's a way. and if there's no way, i'll still be okay. so instead of panicking and trying to plan for possible defeat, i need to keep focused on winning.

let's see how tonight's date goes :)

return to the poutine routine - part iii

[...continued]

berri uqam station was filled with people on their way to igloofest. i was dressed for it, i had my board strapped to my back, and a part of me really wanted to join them! but partying while sore wasn't going to work.

---sunday:

i woke up jet-lag early (why did i not think to use my melatonin tablets?!) to an email from the accountant informing me that it appears that i owe a large sum of money to the tax authority even without the fine for late filing. considering my status as unemployed and trying to keep everything together long enough to get a job offer and pass the french exam, that was quite unsettling :S

he asked for a couple of other documents and i was looking for them when i discovered a digitization of something related that i'd forgotten i'd made before leaving... he responded with an apology for such a bad start to the day and with an update that it now looks like they owe me a sizable sum. that just made my day!!!

i finished watching the first episode of downton abbey, and i now understand why everyone loves it so much. why can't all series hire good writers? the characters are wonderful and the plots satisfyingly subtle. nice!

a guy i went to school with came over to pick up something his mother had asked me to deliver; he told me he didn't have time for coffee or tea, but he apparently did have half an hour to stand with me in the foyer talking uncomfortably loudly. a part of my discomfort concerned bothering my neighbours, and another part his pride in generally being a bit dodgy.

i headed to godmother's to print, sign and scan what i hope is a final piece of the tax authority puzzle (hooray for technology! he says sarcastically), then met up with horseman for subway and starbucks. happily he's keen to speak to me in french, but that really did make things complicated...

on the metro to have drinks and play carcassonne with vfmp's brother (mustwin) who's recovering from an appendectomy, i sat across from a guy who looked familiar. i didn't recognize him even after he told me where i know him from, i was embarrassed... but not as embarrassed as when i exited the car and it all came rushing back to me - we trained a fair amount together, talked quite a bit *and* he's friends with gg :$

i beat mustwin. i was prouder of that than i'm proud to admit :P

i made an inefficient choice when taking the metro to the fight night, but it afforded me an opportunity to help a little old lady with some heavy lifting. i think i managed to hide my limp as i lugged her baggage up the stairs :)

the fight night was great! firstly, i didn't make the mistake of taking a date along so i got to really focus on what was happening in the ring. the guy i sparred with before i left was doing security, he took up a position next to me and so we shared running commentary. the guy i really went to watch, who lost his first fight, came out strong in his second and was deservedly ecstatic when he stepped out victorious. the guy i was sure would get knocked out was knocked down twice in the first round and the referee called a stop to it; he really wasn't ready. certainly not ready enough to be coming in with a nickname like "the hebrew hammer", you have to win a fight before you get cocky, bro...

our coach had accepted a fight last-minute the day before, and it was interesting to finally see him in action. i'll be honest, i kinda expected more but it was a good fight nonetheless and he had a tough opponent. exciting shit happened in the ring, overall it was satisfying.

vfmp made it for the last three fights, afterwards we went to aux vivres for dinner. the conversation went deep into zombie-theory territory, and i wished i'd been recording because he was playing devil's advocate and i couldn't keep track of all the questions that i should definitely answer if i do end up writing a book.

---yesterday:

oh, couch, i love you! i was too tired to shower, i barely had strength to brush my teeth before flopping down fully clothed and waking up feeling like a new man in the morning. i spent the morning figuring out french exams and courses and things, then shopped, ate, and passed out for sleep so deep that i almost didn't make it to the clc french communication mix!

being half asleep combined with the temperature dropping ten degrees in one day (-12 not counting the evil wind) and walking in the shade was very chilly indeed. once inside and "settled", i was cornered by a bunch of strange women asking me questions in french and i cursed my subconscious for adding "sweating profusely" to my discomfort. what a stupid response! :(
once the initial wave had somehow been fought off - my french may be bad and horrifically slow, but it's at least understandable - my system calmed down and i (literally) chilled a bit. after an hour and a half i realized that some of my french is surprisingly decent, some of it shameful. i'll be back at the language center again next week.

i rushed through the freezing cold to get home. the first thing i had to deal with was an email from bell regarding an update to their terms and conditions.

---right after impressing me with their #bellletstalk campaign, they sent out an email with new terms and conditions "as part of [their] ongoing efforts to improve [their] customer experience" to counter the aforementioned show of goodwill:

"To provide the Services, Bell may have to use, reproduce, adapt, transmit, display, publish, perform, distribute and create compilations and derivative works from your content. In accepting the Bell Services, you waive your moral rights, and you authorize Bell to perform these activities in relation to your content anywhere in the world, only to the extent that Bell needed to provide you with Bell Services."

please explain why i should be okay with my internet service provider taking full control of my content? the "only to the extent" seems just a touch ambiguous. i called the number listed on the email as being for inquiries, and after getting through the menu system and being put on hold for ten minutes i was informed that only online chat assistance is qualified to help.

well, shit.

---i went off to the gym, eventually decided to test out my ankle by taking the boxing class. of course this didn't score me any points with the coach... i finally came up with a response to his jibes at the end of the class and i suspect i may have offended him because he got defensive. one of my fellow students made a snide remark to which i responded in a joking fashion, but i now worry that he may not have realized that i was kidding so i'm going to have to apologize to him next time i see him just in case :(

my ankle was hurting but not too badly; after the class i spent an hour or so instructing a girl in our class (army brat) in technique. it intrigued me that while we were working the pads she suddenly shrunk back and said "i'm scared" when i told her how to strike them - i wonder if she was responding to my officer voice?

after training i sat down to my traditional salad dinner and two episodes of downton abbey, then decided to call it a night.

---today:

i slept with french talk radio in the background, and i think that was a good idea. i got up early and was going to buy coffee at the further supermarket before sitting down at starbucks to write these posts, but it was so insanely cold (-23, not counting the wind) that i stopped at the starbucks and decided to worry about the coffee another day. it was so cold that i didn't remove my super-warm sweater the entire time!

i stopped to go to the gym and meet vfmp for boxing instruction: the same thing i'd done with army brat, only he has even more unlearning to do. by the time we left we'd both learned some pretty cool things; i was rather excited because i'd been trying to teaching him what to do with his hips when he throws a hook and suddenly noticed that a cross had been taped on the floor right where we were standing, i figured out that when you throw a hook you're essentially just switching stance but without moving your feet. thank you, taekwondo, thank you :D

vfmp joined me for tea while i ate lunch and we watched total rubbish on youtube (projected on the wall, of course), and i got back to finishing this. horseman's now on his way for some more french immersion, and then i'm going head back to the gym and see how i handle kickboxing. i might not. i'm not planning on doing anything stupid...

---over the course of the past few days, i have finally understood the correct way to eat skittles!
partially crush a few of them until they form a solid mass, then suck. it's stupidly enjoyable and each handful lasts at least five minutes :D