biologically shocking

i can't train with my nose and chest like this. today's far better than the last two days, and that's said with a perpetually running nose and one incident where i was forced to spit a mouthful in public. trust me, swallowing was not an option, and on the crowded streets it was impossible to do it surreptitiously :(

---the primary theme of the last day has been preparing for the slam finals. i met up with rabbit at a nice little coffee shop in saint henri so that we could help each other figure out which pieces we're going to perform. the new piece that i have yet to publish? rabbit, with all her talk about always being able to cut, was forced to agree with me that it's simply a four-minute piece and cannot be less.

i initially felt bad about our reciting poetry possibly disturbing the people around us, but it became clear that those who weren't listening to their headphones weren't unhappy about it at all :)

the two pieces that i'm readying for the second round aren't what i expected at all, as a matter of fact. signs in the dead of night made rabbit tear up, and i can make acupuncture pretty emotional. i'm actually surprised at myself for how comfortable i am acting these as opposed to reciting them. the last couple of months of slam have been good to me, i guess.

...

while there, i received a call from the company i've been interviewing with for a while. i'm finally ready to disclose that it's google, and the reason for said disclosure is that they called to say they're not interested. i may have passed all their technical exams but their hr committee determined that something about my profile "wasn't a fit" for the job i was applying for. i don't know what that means. but i'm extremely pleased that i didn't risk the job i've accepted!

after we were done i walked to h2o's gym to meet up with gd. the lack of signage freaks me out - i'd been given instructions and couldn't find the place, even when i was already in the building on the correct floor. how can that be good for business???

my sinusitis was terrible and i was completely exhausted; i felt utterly spoiled to have gd taking care of me for the evening. i ordered indian from the usual place* and we both ate too much.

* this'll be the last time, i thought i'd confused the numbers before but cari mela is insanely expensive. it's a lot of food for two people, and it's delicious, but $40 is outrageous for dinner in front of the telly**.

** netflix

we watched pirates! band of misfits - i'd actually forgotten i'd seen it - and i think even less of it now than i did before. it's beautifully done, but the story is pathetic.

we chased that with two comedies i'd already seen: my girlfriend's boyfriend was just as great the second time, and thinky pain was even better (than the first time).

i took the night meds and we both went to bed early.

---today:

i woke up after midnight with aching feet. i was suffering serious rls and no amount of stretching (on top of salt water, the usual fix) or massaging was helping. at one point i was feeling too confined and i didn't want to disturb gd, so i snuck out the back (a nifty feature of her apartment) and literally walked up and down the dark street, quite stoned from the night meds, eventually becoming antsy to return even though my feet were still griefing me.

fortunately, they calmed down a bit a short while later, but well over an hour had passed in torment and it's never been that bad before. i returned to bed, and gd woke up and convinced me to use a nasal decongestant spray. i'm usually loathe to use those because "once you pop"... but it did help to make the rest of the night easier. i wasn't feeling well-rested when i got up, but i was definitely feeling better.

...

i finished a game of hero academy with zenstar this morning, and decided that i've outgrown it. it was fun for the longest time, but the ratio of the effort it takes to recall a game versus the pleasure derived from the game has steadily worsened over time. i'll stick with penny arcade: gamers vs evil for social gaming and another case solved, even though i've cleared all the cases, still has some entertaining challenges while i wait for the next round of cases to be delivered.

...

this morning's discussion turned to songs gd and i want played at our funerals. i like the fact that we've both got good ones :)

...

even though i ran errands today, my focus was primarily on memorizing and practicing my performance for sunday. so any time i was walking or on the metro, i was talking to myself in a way that those around me probably weren't too comfortable with.

i hurried down to wire's area with the intention of having coffee with him, but he was in a hurry so he dumped two thirds of the cash on me and we walked and talked until we got to where he was headed. firstly, it's great that he's on his feet, and secondly, it's great that i didn't lose a friend over money.

i was already on the green line, so i headed to an art supply store i'm familiar with to pick up charcoal pencils for gd who's been getting back into drawing since just before we met. i dropped those off at the front desk of her work and sneaked off, which i hoped would be seen as romantic [it was]. from there i headed to the saq to pick up wine for uncle hate's birthday. on the way i passed an asian dude who was so decked out in hipster garb that i had to fight the urge to say "hey dude, you left your identity at home".

there's nothing that destroys a well-made subway foot-long better than an unfinished cut down the middle.

our muay thai instructor and i travelled together from lionel groulx and he imparted a lot of sparring advice. i was intrigued to discover that he's actually about to return to university to work on his master's.

i called up uncle hate to wish him a happy birthday, and was almost sorry to have asked him how he is; turns out he's been having a really uncomfortable week. anyway, once he was done complaining he simply said "goodbye" and hung up, so that was easy enough.

i passed out on the couch, hoping that after a rest i'd be ready for sparring, but that's definitely not happening :(

instead, i've taken the opportunity to catch up with all sorts of things. then i got an email from steam telling me that an item on my wishlist is on sale.

bioshock infinite for $10? or $15 for all three???
*that* is a price i'm willing to pay.

eggistential - are eggs healthy or not?

arguing over chickens and eggs. my post on egg replacements drew some fire somewhere else and i feel compelled to put it all down here. warning: it's going to be pasted pretty much "as is" (minus capital letters and some spelling corrections).

---x: i don't believe eggs to be unhealthy at all (see for example http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3499583/), but this is pretty cool

totalwaste: x - you can believe what you want, but there are answers to the question of whether or not eggs are healthy that aren't speculation. take a look at http://nutritionfacts.org/index.php?s=eggs , specifically http://nutritionfacts.org/video/who-says-eggs-arent-healthy-or-safe/ . huffington post is a news source.

the article you've linked to is not written off peer-reviewed research, however the author may be trained. "i guess a lot of it has to do with cholesterol." is an entirely unconvincing start, raises warning flags. i'll stick with hard evidence, thanks.

y: unrelated whether eggs are healthy for the human body, they are very unhealthy for the environment and inefficiently produced, and the more alternatives there are available, the better.

x: i just posted it because it is more approachable, it references several peer reviewed papers if you're interested, and there's more if you like (for example: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10217054) . nutritionfacts.org strikes me as very biased towards a vegan life style. it does rely on research, but it is chosen carefully.

the bottom line is it appears that moderate consumption of eggs (about one per day) has a lot of dietary benefits and is most likely safe for most people. i strongly believe in balance and in avoiding the extremes in these matters, especially as the "facts" are debatable.

totalwaste: okay, let's be clear - you've linked to another paper focused on cholesterol and nothing else. there's a ton of research available which you haven't linked to. you say the "facts" are debatable, and i'm going to say that "facts" are NOT debatable, because otherwise they'd be OPINIONS. this is what science and peer-reviewed science is all about.

selection bias IS debatable, however.

let's say nutritionfacts.org does have a selection bias. considering that you're the one making that claim here - dr. greger is an authority, and i don't know what your medical credentials are - the onus is on you to demonstrate that bias. so how about you pick a single presentation of his, completely up to you, and link me to a peer-reviewed paper that disagrees with what he's saying? and by disagrees, i don't mean the opinions shared in the conclusion like the paper you shared before, because in that case what's being said is "the cholesterol content of a single egg per day isn't too bad" (fact) and then "so eating an egg a day is healthy" (not a fact).

i'll welcome any evidence that there's a selection bias and i'm always happy to learn new things or correct my own misunderstandings, so i look forward to seeing what you find.

also, regarding your attitude towards vegan "extremism": if there is a food that is good for you but has bad stuff too, and another food which has that same goodness without the bad stuff, is it biased to suggest, as a health professional, that we consume the other one? you're not being forced to change your lifestyle, you're being informed which food choices are healthier.

x: allow me to explain: by "facts" i meant peer reviewed research findings. sadly, in many cases such research findings are flawed or give the wrong idea as a result of lack of control for all accountable factors, poor analysis etc. peer review is no guarantee for the full credibility of the findings, though it is probably the best our scientific community has to offer today.

i think demonstrating selection bias is simpler in this case. i've seen several items on the site, but i don't recall ever coming across any evidence that contradicts the author's claims. could it be that such data simply doesn't exist? i don't think so. don't get me wrong, i do believe this site does a relatively good job in relying on facts, and delivering more reliable information to the public than most sources. i'm merely saying (admittedly, without the thorough investigation that i'm not interested in doing) that it shows only one side of the story. perhaps you have seen examples on the site to suggest otherwise. i'd be happy to learn about them, as balanced articles will increase the site's credibility in my eyes.

finally, personally i think avoiding something completely, not only in it's pure form (e.g. milk and cheese) but also as a minor ingredient in other products, is extreme and in many cases when the quantity no longer seems to matter, strikes me as almost religious. i think this also inspires an adverse response towards reducing consumption of plant based products in many people to whom complete avoidance is out of the question, which is unfortunate as it might be wise in light of the accumulating research data, at least as a cautionary step, regardless of how conclusive it is. at the end of the day, everyone can weigh the risks and the benefits and choose his own way, and i'm not trying to tell anyone what to choose. i only hope they choose rationally, based on balanced information, to the extent that such information exists.

zenstar: without wanting to get tied into this debate, while he has some good work there has been criticism about greger.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Greger
look at the criticism section.

at the end of the day we all assimilate the information we want and make our own decisions. i just suggest everyone gets as many sources as possible.

totalwaste: okay, that's great and all but two things:

1) if you're going to claim selection bias, then demonstrate it. if you have enough energy to make anti-establishment claims but not enough to back them up then you probably shouldn't be making those claims.

i looked at the reference that the wikipedia article cites, and the article is asking important questions and making fine distinctions, that's cool and part of a healthy scientific debate. but he's arguing about the data presentation, not the data itself. if you watch the videos you should pick up pretty quickly that while greger's definitely pushing a vegan agenda, he's not leaving out disclaimers or misrepresenting conclusions. and he tells you when to take the research with a grain of salt. and he doesn't take himself too seriously, so when you see a title like "uprooting the leading causes of death" know that he's being funny, not serious.

2) regarding the "religious" aspect of veganism: in case you've missed all of my early posts on the subject, i was particularly anti-vegan precisely because there's a lot of bullshit that's thrown around and because some vegans are really assholes about it. unfortunately, those zealots are the ones who are most vocal, but the fact is that being vegan doesn't require a religious adherence and avoiding trace elements of things like dairy in chocolate etc are about the movement's attempt to reduce consumption of animal products across the board, not about health.

i, personally, applaud those people and their adherence to their principles but i also accept that not everyone wants to be a part of the movement and that they have the right to choose. this thread began with a discussion about health and technology, not a discussion on politics and agendas and whether or not some vegans are idiots and put other people off. do what you like, eat an egg or two day, i really won't judge you for it. but don't say it's healthy when all evidence points to the contrary. and there's a LOT of evidence. and, as you said, peer-reviewed doesn't mean "perfect" but it's the best we've got to go on.

zenstar: adam... there is also a lot of evidence for the fact that they are good for you. this page has a nice summary with lots of links to the actual papers:
http://authoritynutrition.com/why-are-eggs-good-for-you/
and another page about it also linking to various reports:
http://www.livescience.com/39353-eggs-dont-deserve-bad-reputation.html

i think we can all agree the topic is still under various forms of debate and so making a direct claim either way is basically asking for someone to object... there are good and bad things about them (like almost everything).

x: totalwaste, i do tend to ignore most posts relating to veganism precisely for the reasons you've mentioned, those people you were talking about are exactly what i meant about taking it to the extreme and i'm glad to hear you're not among them and you have a more reasonable approach as to what it means to be vegan (however, i do not know how common such a definition is among vegans).

i think zenstar here summarized pretty well what i wanted to say originally, that is, the evidence is inconclusive (though i may have sounded more decisive than i really am on the subject).

totalwaste: thanks x.

to both of you.:
there's no debate as to whether eggs have benefits, nobody said they didn't. however, cholesterol and heart disease are the only things your articles (and the research they're based on) are talking about as risk and that's not what's so unhealthy about eggs.

http://nutritionfacts.org/video/eggs-and-diabetes/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/bacon-eggs-and-gestational-diabetes-during-pregnancy-2/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/total-recall/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/food-sources-of-pcb-chemical-pollutants/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/eggs-choline-and-cancer/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/carcinogenic-retrovirus-found-in-eggs/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/heterocyclic-amines-in-eggs-cheese-and-creatine/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/food-poisoning-bacteria-cross-contamination/

and there are much better ways to keep your eyes safe: http://nutritionfacts.org/video/dietary-prevention-of-age-related-macular-degeneration/

and there are real issues with the other side of the debate: http://nutritionfacts.org/2014/03/06/egg-industry-caught-making-false-claims/

just sayin'.

if you're interested, he cites his sources below each video. oh, and i've deliberately not linked to any of the videos about heart-health, there are plenty and they demonstrate how manipulative the egg industry propaganda is.

traveling british

wednesday:

i suffered some packing anxiety but i was efficient nonetheless; it's helpful to make lists and handle purchases before the day. i felt a bit silly trying out fez when i wasn't completely done, but then i received an alert from british airways informing me that my flight was to be delayed by three hours.

WHAT?! what a screw-up! so i was ready to go far too early and my otherwise unstressed time visiting family and friends in london would be pressured.

the metro to bus transfer was (unwittingly) perfectly timed. i was made nervous by a woman in the bus putting in or moving around a contact lens while we were in motion. i arrived at the airport and headed straight to a store to buy a tsa-approved lock. at least the plastic clamshell packaging had a little easy-open flap that even *i* could find.

after checking in - handing in my luggage and printing out the boarding pass i couldn't get on my phone - i tried to change us dollars to british pounds. the guy took my money and showed me a number that was higher than i expected: great! odd, but great. he proceeded to give me that amount in canadian dollars.
"i asked you for british pounds."
"i can't change us dollars for you, i have to change them to canadian dollars first."
i gave him a dark look.
"and you couldn't have told me that before? i *have* canadian dollars."
i told him to give me pounds for the canadian dollars. as he turned to do that i realized that he was succeeding in double-charging me for the conversions. rude bastard!
"hey, stop! just give me my damned us dollars back. i'll change them on the other side."

the only good things about the three hour delay were the free subway dinner and a few hours of contemplation / meditation that i sorely needed. and i wrote online dating while i waited, which i'm quite proud of.

airports:

no security problems anywhere. no serviceable wi-fi anywhere. the prices in johannesburg's domestic departures hall are set for international travellers, and that's really, really uncool for south africans.

mariah carey - all i want for christmas is you played EVERY TIME i walked into a men's bathroom. subliminal messaging?

kids:

1. sitting next to the kid's toys by the gate and talking on the phone is not a good idea. a bunch of them decided to come and play and i had to move across the hall. the smallest kid took a shine to me and the bigger kids were taking care of her, which was cute but made trying to converse on the phone a bit of a mission.

2. on the first flight i was sitting just behind the infants' row, and counted us all fortunate that they were all, for the most part, relaxed on the flight. on the second flight, i was sitting IN the infants' row, and the parents next to me were flying with their child for the first time. they were more worried than i was, though, and we were all very grateful by the end of the flight that the squealing had been minimal. also, my headphones block out a good amount of noise :P

food:

the in-flight food i had was undoubtedly the best i have ever tasted in thirty years of flying! i am totally satisfied that i remembered to order vegan meals. they were all delicious and i wasn't forced to compromise on anything :)

sleep:

from wednesday morning until friday night, i must have slept between two to four hours in total. i entered zombie-mode almost immediately, unable to focus on anything like a movie or a book, uninterested in writing or even in listening to music. i kept trying the latter and giving up. most of the time i just kind of stared miserably while my head lolled.

when i *did* manage to sleep, it was at all the wrong times. i'm very grateful that they kept waking me for my meals, though!

health:

my stomache was killing me from just after the first take-off until i arrived at my cousins' in london. i was up and down to he bathrooms with no results, i don't know what the hell that was all about. my second flight was ruined by restless leg syndrome in spite of my repeated top-ups of tonic water. i was not impressed, no matter how much i got up and stretched my legs remained cramped.

overall experience:

in spite of the last items mentioned, overall the experience was really good. the airport stuff was all smooth in all directions, the planes were relatively spacious and the only things to complain about had nothing to do with anyone but me.

london:

the underground was simple and i was surprised at how familiar everything was when i'd last been there in 2004.

on the picadilly line to cockfosters: that's a name they might want to consider changing. just sayin'.

my family: it was great seeing my cousins! i only had an hour or so with them, and they had some friends over. when their kids brought out bread and food, they pointed at a bowl and told me it was a mushroom spread. cool! i put it on a slice of bread and it was excellent. a short while later someone asked how it was made.
"oh, mushroom, ricotta..."
"there's cheese in there?!"

why would somebody describe mushroom AND RICOTTA as just mushroom? does cheese not count? i commented that i wouldn't have taken it then, and was asked about my dietary choices. everyone was cool with my reply that it's for health reasons and was happy to leave it at that.
except for the family friend, who got an angry look on her face as she asked: "what makes you think that being vegan is healthier?"

"if you'd asked me that a couple of years ago you'd have been absolutely right," i began, and proceeded to inform her about the research that's been done over the past years. that sparked a discussion about supplements, and once that was over we could change topic and everything relaxed again. only... when the family friend left, she did so without saying goodbye to me. hmmm.

travelling from there to leicester square i just missed the right train; fortunately i only made moonflake and zenstar wait about fifteen minutes, and even more fortunately we'd be travelling on the tube together for a while so we actually ended up with a decent amount of time for coffee and catch-up. it's so nice to see them doing well and even nicer to hear that we're all thinking along similar lines long-term! :)

that moment when i remembered that i didn't need to pack my nice jacket: *facepalm*

i didn't have time to meet with tpj, so i called him from the airport and we chatted until boarding time. i need to make the most out of the $45 package i took for the uk...

---"gold-digger" is such an ugly term. i prefer "full-time high-class monogamous prostitute".

---i was glad to find an indian toilet at johannesburg's baggage claim. the other stalls would have been impossible to change in. i don't know how people change clothes on an airplane.

i arrived in cape town exhausted and feeling grim - like i'd been travelling since wednesday. as soon as i got off the plane, though, i could feel the summer holiday feeling and once i'd gotten home and had a shower i was feeling quite human again in spite of myself :)

consumption junction

mmmf. netflix and a home theatre setup isn't healthy. i just keep pressing "play" at the end of every episode...

---the discussion about israel that began yesterday continued today, and got very emotional. at some points i was angry because people who know me, but not well, don't understand where i stand and why i left, and it's important for me that everyone knows that i didn't just give up. i didn't just flee with my tail between my legs, and i'm sad that after everything i went through i was unable to make israel my home. i was successful as an israeli, i have one and a half degrees, an excellent service record and good professional experience / references to show that. also a few good friends and a heck of a lot of interesting stories. but what i didn't have was satisfaction.

every day, no, every time i left my apartment i would be exposed to behaviour that made me suffer. and not just behaviour towards me; i cannot ignore other people and i cannot abide by unnecessary aggression. now, it's one thing to try and fail to change that, but it's another entirely to be told not to try to change it. i cannot help but be offended to my core by "the indifference of good men".

what i most appreciated today was a private message from a friend of a friend that i've never met, who'd seen our mutual friend's comments and read what i had to say: she just wanted to share that she could sympathize. i found that touching.

i know that there are a lot of good people there, and a lot of initiatives to bring about change - but i also know that i'm out of place in that society and while i can manage well there i cannot feel secure or be happy until that change is affected. and, as i've said before, while i hope and pray that i'm wrong i've lost faith and can only envision their society collapsing.

is quebec perfect? is anywhere perfect? no. but even though i'm just beginning my new life here, and i don't even know where i'll be in two years' time, i'm already more at peace than i've been in well over a decade. what was i fighting for all that time? and stressing about? to what end?

---last night:

warm bodies: amusing, but with disturbing plot holes that weren't actually funny. it's not as well done as shaun of the dead. having said that, it does present an interesting counterpoint to my zombie thesis and has provided much food for thought. so i guess i appreciate it, even if i'm not thrilled by it. also - it was filmed here! i *thought* the locations looked familiar.

so the meetup itself was afterwards, sitting around a couple of tables at a pizza hut. it was super awkward at first. i was feeling self-conscious about not ordering food, but the guy sitting across from me ordered nothing but green tea so i did too, and then i discovered that he's a vegan as well and we had a discussion that made me feel really good - i got him to rethink some of his fanatic beliefs by assailing him with logic. in particular, he's not so sure he's anti-GM foods anymore. and he informed me that dr. greger is going to be in town soon and i'd really like to hear him speak.

so, a lot of the people at the meetup are a little older (or elderly) and a bit broken (like, recently divorced or in the process of separating), but there were a couple of other younger folk (like, younger than me, i guess i'm not in my early twenties anymore :P). the younger girl invited a few of us to a talk next weekend that sounds right up my alley! cool - i hope i don't hate it...

one old man overheard a conversation i was having about humour and stopped as he walked past: "you sound really educated."
i awkwardly responded with something along the lines of "i try," and only later would think of a decent (and appropriately humble) response.
*sigh*
i'm not used to appreciation from strangers.

so ultimately, the evening was very pleasant and a good time was had by all. riiiiiight until that moment when i decided to accept a lift to the metro station instead of taking a two-minute walk. the man offering was really excited to talk to an israeli, and instead of a minute in the car i sat for about half an hour as he ranted and raved, first about israeli politics and then about quebec politics and the injustice of bill 101 and how it's a human rights violation. basically, it was like being trapped in a car with my offensive uncle on a roll, only this was a total stranger. he kinda reminded me of rip torn, if rip torn was driving a car that looked like he was sleeping in it.

after eventually managing to extract myself from the vehicle, i needed to shake off my disgust and frustration and horror and the hopeless reliving of the defining moment in which i accepted his kind offer: it was with crazy-people vocal expressions that i did so. almost-shouting at myself while alone crossing a bridge in the rain, things like "damn!" and rolling my eyes while breathing "why?!"... that sort of thing.

...

and then i returned to my apartment and the why-i-left-israel discussion wasn't over.
*facepalm*
you'd think i'd just leave it until morning, but xkcd 386. and this was about me.

i watched lots of how i met your mother and ate a lot of chocolate, and i felt better when i finally went to bed. actually, that kinda sums up tonight as well.

---i've been playing penny arcade: gamers vs evil with dystopia, zenstar and schpat, and i actually managed to win a game. i'm super proud!

---today:

i woke up late and into beautiful weather. i had a very long chat with copywriter that got political and philosophical, after which i rushed off to the gym to watch the open mma mat. well! that wasn't happening, so i just trained for a while instead. i mainly focused on my kicking - it's a long process to recalibrate - and walked out totally satisfied with myself and really glad that i'm living so close to an excellent gym.

after chatting with my mum i settled down to work on my comics, and while i didn't make as much progress quantity-wise as last time i certainly did hit upon something that makes the transformation from figure of speech to poetry much clearer. i've been wondering about doing this as a webcomic, but while i think the slow-release format might be suitable my drawing skills definitely are not. i mean, i can communicate what i'm going for but is that really all i want? i want people to read it and enjoy the fantastic world that ol' shakespeare has created, not just go "ah, very clever! i see what he was going for".

---"so delicious" mint marble fudge is soy-based ice-cream and it's stupidly delicious! like, omg, it's awesome and satisfying and uncontrollable.

to blog, or not to blog

my blogging is not as much about sharing as it is about hoarding precious moments of the past. sometimes i find myself digging through old posts for a reference, and am delighted or horrified at the weird little nothings i noted and promptly forgot. but there's a dark side to my habit, and that's that it's become ingrained that everything that prompts an emotional response gets written down and must be compiled later. it's totally ocd. i thought that twitter would bear some of the load, but when twitter stopped playing well with blogger (and everyone else) that option went out the window.

i have too much stuff to do and plenty of time to do it, if i focus on those tasks instead of trying to juggle all the elements of the big picture simultaneously. on the one hand, blogging helps me by letting me put everything down. on the other, does it really help me? i mean, here i am, on pseudo-holiday, contemplating whether or not my journal is of any practical value to me any more.

---thursday:

thursday began slowly: you know that feeling when it's cold outside and warm under the covers, and your body's in a perfectly comfortable position and the last thing you want to do is move?

the news of the day: hearing that the big guys all think i'm the bee's knees and will have my back if the work permit application starts dragging too much. that feels good.

after much struggling, it was exciting getting a linux box up and running on my laptop. vmware versus virtualbox? suck it, virtualbox. vmware totally kicks ass.

also, i wrote a perl script to transcribe svn logs into a database, and i was pleased when it worked first time as intended and didn't take very long.

i went to my aunt's for a great dinner; yin had just returned from bc and everyone was in high spirits. her friend brought dessert, decadently delicious chocolate balls. i was the only one who wasn't ashamed to have more than one, and so scored the leftovers when i left :)

zenstar invited me to try out rad soldiers: in the past four days i've become enthralled. it looks good, it plays well, the challenges are fun and the soundtrack gets stuck in your head and makes you want to play some more.

---friday:

how do normal people pick up dry cleaning between 9-6? i had to choose between getting it on the way to the office or not going snowboarding on the weekend. so if i'd been able to see the future i wouldn't have ventured out in the slush (and then rain) to pick up my trousers.

---i tried and failed to imagine what doing work that entails digging through slush to enter a manhole must feel like. i briefly watched, and felt humbled.

---the metro was overheated, and there was a man nonchalantly clipping his nails on the train.

friday was a day of speeches, wishes and alcohol in the office. it was a little disorientating (the latter in particular), but very pleasant. i was invited to interview a potential new employee; he got my thumbs up, and i'm impressed that my inebriation didn't make things awkward :P

we had a christmas lunch at the indian restaurant, and the spicy eggplant was so delicious that i couldn't stop eating. that held me up until i got home, when i pigged out on junk food and watched one piece and passed out.

i slept too long, waking up around midnight to make dinner and go back to bed.

---saturday:

i woke up early enough to hit the slopes, but was so exhausted that i chose to get back into bed. making such a choice between fresh powder and sleep is pathetic, and i'd pay for it thrice. once, in the actual price which doubles if you're not on the first bus, twice because all modes of transportation were packed. long queues and uncomfortable rides. thrice because, well, fresh powder. there was still a lot of snow when i arrived, but a lot of ice was exposed too :(

and all of that for what? i wasn't feeling good, no matter how incredibly beautiful the day was, and i have to admit that the disadvantages of being alone outweighed the advantages. to make matters worse, my boots didn't sit right and that made everything a lot harder. to make things even worse, when i sat down for a cup of hot chocolate there was a fire drill and we all had to go outside.

my last two or three runs were better (i'd figured out that i needed to redraw my laces each time) and were fun, and i fortunately saw a clock an hour before the bus was to arrive and so i knew to scramble. i had just enough time for the last run, a sandwich, and the walk to saint sauveur's village. i gotta tell you, that village is surreally charming with its quiet, snow-covered streets and cheery christmas jazz music gently playing through synchronized speakers. i didn't want to wait outside (-13 at night, with wind) so i entered the macdonald's and ordered their crap coffee (the good machine was being cleaned), and took it outside to wait with me for the bus.

the relief of getting on the bus home was intense. if you miss the 9.30 bus, there's no fallback, and getting stuck out there would totally suck.

---sunday:

i got home at midnight, watched one piece and showered and passed out, exhausted. i was too tired to hit the slopes, and more importantly, i wasn't feeling it. i could say the same about today. i feel kinda guilty, but if i'm not in an agreeable mood then screw it.

i stayed in bed late, played rad soldiers and read the new lookouts comic, fell asleep listening to a french lesson podcast, and then eventually got out of bed to talk to pg for a bit.

i left the apartment to take my boots back. the guys at poubelle du ski are heroes! we eventually found boots that fit, or seem to fit, perfectly, and although they're an upgrade the salesman gave me the slip with a wink and told me that if anyone asks i returned the same model ^_^
they're ridiculously purple, but i think i can live with that.

the weather was cold, but beautiful, and i didn't mind discovering that i'd walked in the wrong direction (boy, was i not concentrating) and i eventualy made my way back. i stopped at subway for a sandwich - it wasn't good at all - then dropped off my boots at home, had a long chat with sorter, and went shopping.

the chat with sorter was a bit dark; -someone sent a mail during the week and it basically said that he was investing time in making the code, and the coding process, more complicated than it needed to be and that everything he's done until now is fine as a proof-of-concept but needs to be redone if we want an actual product. sorter was upset with me because my response was less than enthusiastic. i'm deeply disappointed and i hope we can salvage something.

copywriter called me up on skype and i made and ate dinner while we chatted. i'd finally watched the first part of the century of the self which he'd suggested a while ago. i can't recall watching something so distressing and so riveting at the same time. depressingly enlightening. it certainly puts things in perspective, and it's only the first part :(

---today:

i went to bed early hoping i'd be good for the mountains today, but i woke up feeling uninspired. now that i'm up, and i've talked to my mum (who's also on holiday), and posted this, i'm ready to pay my cousins a visit and do the same stupid christmas eve shopping as everyone else: i have only one gift i'm giving, and i didn't think to buy a card :S

on ismism - part ii

[... continued]

insight: i specialize in logics and in syntax translation. that's quite compatible with literary analysis :)

note to self: don't wear the blue sometimes-static shirt under the reversible jacket. shocking.

i've been reading woolf - mrs dalloway on the off chance (hope not) that i'll be taking the supplementary exam in introduction to british culture. she has a habit of defamiliarizing religion that keeps making me smile. it's not an easy book to get into, but it does have a certain charm.

once home, i napped for an hour or so and pg woke me up; we took the first movie from the alien box set and watched it on the big screen at her place. AWESOME ^_^

---studying / playing advisor to terrified first years until stupid o'clock in the morning?

discovering that i'm a classical facist (another ism) and a *bit* of a marxist (another ism)? that the nazi's did crazier shit than i thought? that jung said what?! (and may have been right?)

and that frottage (another ism - just kidding) is an art?
[did i miss the discussion on gods? i think we could do better than scientology, for a start]

---yesterday:

missed alarm - hurried but arrived at the specialist about ten minutes late, and so had to wait a long time to be reassigned a time slot. i'm sure my complaint at the reception about the bad signage wasn't passed along to management. discovering that the girl who asked me if i was american is from cape town was surprising, but not as surprising as her recalling my name on her way out when i hadn't told her. our discussion about peta and greenpeace had potential - she's a member of the latter, and i compared peta's attitude to pet ownership (read through euthanasia) with greenpeace's alignment with our political left.

while waiting, we were treated to a show. or two. i'm amazed - i'd almost forgotten that "normal" people were so ****** up. there are some weird folk around during the daylight hours.

so i'm taking tablets for infection, i've got an appointment for physiotherapy and i've been instructed to sleep with my mouth-guard and not chew gum. goody.

that, the pharmacy and the making a physiotherapy appointment all took THREE AND A HALF HOURS. that's a lot. and the people walking past as i waited for the bus were even stranger the ones i'd been gawking at before.

oh, and i was totally sleep deprived. so i came home, crashed, and felt much better after dreaming of spongebob's "friend" day being celebrated on campus and unintentionally making too much noise in the library.

i had dinner at pg's, we walked the dog, and i came home to go over a classmate's (another in potentia master's student) paper... my word, i think i know what being a teacher's assistant is like. that shit took me a long time; the english corrections were easy enough, pointing out logical errors and bitching about a lack of coherence wasn't :/

i've spent the past few hours (not including what must've taken an hour and a half to sort out this post) learning and making notes, and i'm not yet sure if i'm going about this correctly but it's friday now and i've got two days to hand in two papers.

oh, bugger.