prophesy

i left later than i should have to pick up the car (of course), and arrived at the address to find no cars, having been explicitly informed by the app that no further instructions were necessary. i tried calling the car sharing service, but their lines were down, and it took a while (and some helpful people) before i happened upon the vehicle and realized that the directions were simply wrong.

i made the pickup, and told waze to get us to the airport, and it gave us all sorts of weird directions that neither my mother nor my son were able to read. so my stress levels were kinda high by the time we finally made it onto the highway going in the right direction. when we finally arrived and parked, the signage led us astray (it's incorrect on shabbat, at least, i'm not sure what happens during the week) and sent us in circles with broken elevators before we finally entered the terminal.

at least from that point things went smoothly, and we had time to be ripped off for coffee and sit down with my mom before her flight. after we saw her to the security checks, we made our way back to the car with only one incident (i didn't realize we could only pay for parking at the exit, and made the mistake of getting out of the car and walking all the way back to the locked up pay machines), and aside from the shock of how expensive an hour or two's parking was the drive home was uneventful (fortunately, because we encountered some really insane drivers on the way home). i dropped mr smear off at home, returned the car, and on my walk home managed to get hold of the service hotline and complain and was offered a voucher as compensation.

this afternoon, after returning from the car ordeal, we watched the starship troopers movie together. i've always loved starship troopers; it's not a perfect movie, but it's a fun action film with some interesting ideas. so i'm embarrassed to admit that it took me this long to finally get around to reading the book.

in addition to what i wrote earlier, it's also surprisingly prophetic, considering that it calls out the kind of irrational 20th century ideology that's infected the west and the movie producers who tried really, really hard to misrepresent, subvert and undermine everything the author was trying to say. that's not an adaptation, it's a deeply disrespectful bastardization. thank god the original ideas hold up so well that so many people didn't "get" the "satire".

we're about to enjoy a late dinner, mr smear and i have showered and taken out the recycling, and my nervous system is bouncing up and down because i keep thinking about tomorrow's tasks.

i guess i'm really grateful for having had a couple of days off, a lot of which felt like actual days off even though i was pretty busy.

three for three

 we're in week three of our new apartment, and i'm starting this post in hour three of trying to sleep but tossing and turning in pain and discomfort. my two-week-plus old mattress is causing me suffering, and my lack of sleep is interfering with everything.

and we don't have a couch i can escape to.

...

grocery shopping, electricity shutoff anxiety (fortunately for gd, they started late and finished early)

misrad hapnim, a 10 minute wait (and failed attempts to use their "self-service" machine) for a one minute print job

phone calls there and back: clinic, municipality

client office experience: 100% of the time in a telephone booth, receiving praise from team lead for handling the previous day's deployment like a professional (i thanked her, awkwardly)

miraculously perfect timing for supporting my team between phone calls, because most of the day-long rollout meeting wasn't interesting to me:

receiving a receipt showing that the municipality owes me (so hopefully we'll get our deposit back soon), the representative recommending a pre-approved "forgery" in order to honor a reasonable request from our new landlord, my new mattress is ready for testing but i have to physically get there during their uncomfortable opening hours, the grocery store confirming that they charge differently to what's posted on the website (i'd used a voucher, it got weird)

discussing the past two weeks' organizational weirdness with my religious mentor, and his stunned silence followed by a heart-felt WTF 😂 half an hour writing an email to update my ("my" my) team after scheduling a one-on-one with my client

a bus to my office, pleasantries and small talk, followed by a class on docker that i didn't need to be in

forgery: doc editing and printing issues

on the way home, receiving a rejection response from the local comic publishing house. zero constructive feedback.

arriving home, completing the forgery (same pen and everything), submitting the request

celebrating a letter from yad l'olim with a double-shot of rum and reading its translation to my mother

a delicious dinner, overeating (probably compensating for nothing but healthy snacking all day)

more of the colour of magic at bedtime

trying not to wake myself up before crashing (but it was all for nought regardless)

...

the world is shifting. it's not subtle (even if you're trying to look beyond the hype), and it's fast.

• anthropic’s 7 billionaire founders just pledged 80% of their wealth (because they know what’s coming)
• openclaw: 160,000 developers are building something openai & google can't stop. where do you stand?

eye rubbing

a friend of gd's, part of her closest circle, who just gave birth a couple of months ago and has another child about two years old, suddenly had a seizure a couple of days ago and died. we're all reeling and heartbroken.

...

 i finally got a real night's sleep on thursday night for the first time since we started moving, what a pity it was flooded with nightmares.

the end of the work-week was strong, although mr smear and i both appear to have picked up some kind of bug that's going around ("stomache flu" for both of us, and a throat infection for me). pure joy. it was a great excuse to have some me-time yesterday while gd and mr smear joined my mom at her friend's pool, i finally watched the entirety of harlock: space pirate. it's a great movie, really convoluted plot twists and turns but i guess the nature of illusion and manipulation is kind of the point.

certainly, it was more satisfying than don't look up. gd and i watched that during the week and it's pure horror (too real) with zero catharsis. i'm still glad i watched it, i guess.

i guess while i'm writing about my media consumption i should mention that we watched the latest hotel transylvania movie yesterday morning* and i was mortified to see genndy tartakovsky's name all over the credits of such a completely trashy film. i *hope* it's the low point of his career.

* in spite of mr smear being "grounded" for hitting a kid in his class yesterday - i guess it doesn't matter if you're not violent with your kids when other kids are :/

...

we've been granted audience with the consul next week to sign and notarize the lawyer's documents, i'm trying to prepare myself for meeting her because we have some things to say that need to be said very carefully about how they've been treating us.

...

we finally met my nephew's girlfriend on friday night, we had dinner at my cousin's who i managed to meet with during the week for a coffee - he's finally accepting that his divorce is actually happening and i was able to provide him with some measure of relief, so i was happy for the opportunity to help.

...

i'm VERY excited about the latest two pages of the graphic novel which we managed to finalize yesterday! they came out even better than planned due to a slight misreading of my script, and the visual clarity is so good that even mr smear knew exactly what was happening when he saw it ^_^

borat subsequent moviefilm

no way. but... i mean, of course. then again, no way.

sbc is not the hero anyone wants, but he's definitely the hero they need. and i'm just as impressed by maria bakalova who deserves at least as much credit!

somewhat funny

last year i helped kickstart a documentary on the boundaries of humour by mike celestino called that's not funny. we finally got to watch it tonight, and i'm super pleased that it's been made and hopeful that lots of people will be exposed to it!

quebec films ftw

we just watched les sept jours du talion - that's the most haunting, disturbing, beautifully told revenge story. i haven't been truly shocked by a film in a long time.

actually alive - summary and part i

the shortest summary: the week before this last one was plagued by enormously powerful screw-ups caused by good intentions. it might have been fueled by my not feeling well, which lasted until this week, and it brought about deep despair and intense emotional distress and anguish for gd and myself. we did learn a lot through it, we're in an amazing place right now.

[there's a very cool reason for the sudden rekindling of interest in jewish history, philosophy and rituals]

work's mostly excellent, though i'm a little concerned that big junior's becoming more defensive. i'm super-excited about the art / poetry projects that are moving along right now, and things have heated up with the slam team's preparation because we only have a month left before we head off to victoria.

huh.

---tuesday 26th:

• general feeling of well-being before bed, perhaps brought on by my having fed the blogging-ocd demons
  
• good sleep
  
• fighting about not taking advice when asking for it, eventually resolving it
  
• introducing gd to shane koyczan
  
• good progress at work
  
• shirtbreak [what was i on about?]
  
• javascript binding trauma - seriously, binding in java is unnecessarily complicated
  
• too much halva
  

...

satisfaction at the end of the day, marred by a pinching nerve as i walk out to the gym? after almost fifteen minutes with a jump rope i rushed to the bathroom, and wobbled out sweat and woozy. i tried to continue training but after a couple of rounds i was a disaster and i showered and went home. i'd continue to feel awful for the next few days.

i slowly did the quickest shopping i could on my way, caught a bug with my eye while thinking that if i'm not in cape town then it simply becomes far from fair.

good dinner marred only by our fighting over music and raising children.

---wednesday 27th:

slow morning, stretching, mango shake, figuring out how to watch music videos (from youtube, mainly) on the ipad (vevo and youplayer apps), and ordering a bluetooth keyboard for it. more of the pinching nerve. that prompted the purchase of dr kelly starrett - becoming a supple leopard. i picked it up on ibooks, intending to put it on the ipad but forgetting that the ipad's registered to a gd's account.

fortunately, i'd discover later that apple allows us to share purchases if our devices are registered to the same computer. a lot of unhelpful forum posts and bullshit later, but my usual complaint that apple keeps its shiny shit obfuscated (like how to use a mac's touchpad properly) isn't that surprising.

thought for the morning: those who play the loudest music usually have the worst taste.

i made it just in time for the bus to the beach club, read my new book most of the way. the beach club wasn't much to look at and the music was particularly shitty; having to keep out of the sun because i'm currently undergoing laser hair reduction kinda ruined the company event for me. at least the main speech was quick (and interesting. and i learned that i'll be out of the country for the next two events), there were vegan braai* options even though they were terribly marked - and the salad had egg yolk in it :(

* they brought in a team of south africans to handle the barbeque.

i learned an important lesson about the people i work with: a lot of them won't wear the company apparel because it has the word "geek" on it (demonstrating that they're true nerds), but think that wearing apparel advertising the products they work on is cool. let me tell you something: women wearing porn site t-shirts? sexy, not very classy, but sexy. guys wearing those shirts? creepy. and it doesn't matter what you look like. you don't look like a producer, you look like a (literal) wanker.

at least most of my team are rum drinkers.

the sumo suit competition was cut short when a man passed out in the suit and landed badly. eventually an ambulance came to pick him up. the ordeal was pretty surreal. he seems to be okay now, whoever he is.

i found a bench in the shade and took a nap for a while, i got up with a sore back, dazed and needing to pee. on my way to the washrooms i was intercepted by one of the security team. who knew my name and had been informed that i trained at tristar. we had a really good chat about jiu-jitsu for about five minutes and he threw me some tokens for free drinks.

afterwards, i picked up a drink and realized that my team had all disappeared. i did some exploring and found a dancefloor playing decent music, and hung around there until the bus arrived.

there's not much like a long ride on a bus with shitty suspension when you need to pee (for the second time).

...

buying tickets when tired and with alcohol in your system? #@$!. i'd been thinking "oh, i'm not training tonight" and forgetting that i wasn't going to be training anyway. getting gd excited for a night out and having to cancel on her because we had a team meeting? that's fucked up. that was the beginning of three days of overwhelming misery, during which i learned that there'd been some things bubbling under the surface that needed some serious addressing.

stupid levels of guilt and can't-think-straight, a better talk after gd got off work. the refund policy for the tickets was ambiguous and confusing at best, and i almost gave up on trying for it.

team meeting: important strategies and team planning and freaking out about the fact that the first slam of the season was almost upon us.

back home: relationship therapy, essentially.

---thursday 28th:

in spite of the emotional discomfort, it was a good start to the day minus the back issues. there was slam team weirdness. i purchased bill hicks - arizona bay on itunes having been inspired when introducing gd to tool - aenima. i can't believe i've never heard that material before! it's really funny.

not a bad morning, and i managed to get my movie tickets refunded. i needed to go to the bank during lunch: the highway had a gas station smell, and somebody in the line at the bank had awful body odour.

after completing a big project and saying telling him i'll explain what i did, big junior responded with "i'm not stupid, i can read code".

...

kc gave birth! i found that very exciting news, i'm extremely pleased for her :)

i was also pleased to hear that gd's no longer working at her gym any more, it was hurting her and she can afford to pay for classes now. that was the good news: the upsetting news was that we'd both completely forgotten about godmother's summer party and my reminder only caught me two hours before it started. i was feeling stressed and dark still from the day before and now i was feeling like every #$@!ing day there was something else. i just wanted a little bit of a routine and to get some training in and spent time with gd.

[to be continued...]

the rush - part iv

[... continued]
i tried to rest, introducing myself to siri and being rather impressed. i uploaded to soundcloud for the first time, then rushed off to meet vfmp and his boyfriend for the monkland street festival. we had a nice walk but i couldn't avoid the sun even with my sunscreen, my big floppy hat and my jumping from shade to shade. it was waaaay too hot.

vfmp and i headed to shaïka for good wraps and to trade bad father stories; we talked about blood donations and i think he's provided me more than enough fuel for a poetic rant. i then took a long trip to meet with someone before her performance in an attempt to sort out a connection, we shared ten minutes together that were totally off-topic and for a reason i'd rather not go into i ended up returning home without staying for so much as a minute. that was totally unprofessional and uncool of me.

i went back home, feeling remarkably shitty about what had happened, and waited for gd to come home to discuss it with her. i was expecting the worst, but while things definitely weren't great they were far better than i'd hoped for and i'm extremely grateful for that.

we enjoyed a peaceful evening, punctuated by an attempt to do something cool for the als ice bucket challenge which resulted in an amusing fail video instead.

just before heading to see the teenage mutant ninja turtles reboot gd started hurting and then my nerve started pinching, so we arrived at the theatre in less than the best of circumstances. the movie was fun, really fun, aside from a bit of shaky-cam-itis and a couple of weird plot decisions. i have to say that the credits, both opening and closing, were awesome and a lot of the shots were just incredible!
ignoring about half an hour of gd's back giving her trouble we had a really good time.

---yesterday:

going to bed at 2.30am after learning about smashwords' greatness: they really are fantastic! they are without a doubt the future of publishing ^_^

...

i woke up to some poetic inspiration, and i'm ridiculously pleased with myself about what came out of it. gd gave me a lesson in humility along with a painful french lesson, after which we enjoyed a blissfully relaxed sunday morning. we arrived at midi 6 famished, and their soy latte to go with my "herbivore" was precisely what i needed ^_^

i finally figured out how to get a naked domain to redirect - that really should be simpler - and we finished watching cheatin' before i hurried out to godmother's for coffee. it was a gorgeous afternoon, the raspberries were delicious and the fact that fudgee-o double stuf cookies are vegan just made a fantastic day even better. also, yang's finally taken a step in the right direction regarding his education, so that's a thing.

i took my slightly pinched nerve and tender jaw (discovered earlier) to my apartment to pick up a set of keys, two folding chairs and the mezuzot off my doors. i need to put them up here, and i need to acquire another one.

i needed the nap that i took when i got home, but i woke up to go shopping feeling like i was still dreaming and had overdone the sun and not napped nearly enough. microwave dinner, posting, and transforming into a being of pure discomfort were the order of the evening... i guess my day couldn't have been too good :P

gd was watching fringe: we need to hunt down whoever's responsible for mastering these shows and slap some sense into them. you shouldn't have to keep turning the volume up to hear speech and down to prevent hearing loss during action sequences.

---today:

i woke from long dream sequences to a morning of k's choice and more posting. i rushed out, soooo tired and still trying to avoid excess coffee. i made it until 11.15, at which point big junior showed up to delegate a documentation task. fortunately, that's the kind of thing i'm really comfortable doing with my brain off so i completed that quickly enough and returned to my grand plans.

i may have sweated a little when i realized that i was reorganizing the team's wiki docs without authorization :P

my junk food mission to the supermarket next door was successful - they have israeli vegan munchies! nice one :)

the shitty part of the day was my wasting other people's time with non-problems - i had the dumb, i thought my virtual machine's hard drive was taking up 80gb and we spent far too long trying to resize a disk that was actually only 20gb :$

i left feeling incredibly tired and slow. the experience with the laser hair clinic was surprisingly pleasant; the technician was cool, she totally got my intentions, the pain wasn't as bad* and the terrible smell of burning hair didn't last as long.

* it apparently eases the less hair you have

on my way home, i found that siri doesn't work without an internet connection. that's just silly. siri. silly. siri.

i spent the evening almost resting, watching safety not guaranteed with gd and then the first part of the battlestar galactica mini-series when she went to bed. omg, i can't believe it's still so incredibly good, and just how much more powerful it is when you know what's coming!

...

this last post brought to you by a thoroughly irresponsible disregard for my need to sleep. but my chapbook has a nice cover now (thanks, pixlr!) and i'm fairly certain i'm gonna crash in a couple of minutes.

the rush - part iii

[... continued]

---friday:

i woke up sleepy, gd had a migraine and the team was giving me a bit of a headache myself. i called up the laser hair clinic, and was annoyed by the receptionist's questioning of my judgement of whether or not i can tell if the line of my beard has changed in the manner i described. she then gave me a choice of seeing the same technician or a different one, when the latter would most obviously make things awkward and uncomfortable.

:S

i met up with the girlfriend of the guy who's taking over my lease; the presentation of their deposit and figuring out that we don't have any more paperwork to take care of took much longer than i would have anticipated. i can't say that i'm positively impressed by their inability to take more cash than my deposit is worth and return the change because their software won't allow it. that's just dumb.

in general friday was a disaster because i ran out of junk food. the only things in the vending machine were kind of alright, but nothing satisfying. although, in retrospect, i guess not much satisfies me when i'm spending all day staring at source code.

the success of the day was in killing bugs while trying to do other things. i was deadly tired and was trying to avoid another cup of coffee... suddenly it was 4.30pm and i was trying to keep focus with doof sounds when the manager pulled out the bottle of ouzo i'd brought and we all had a few sips. what timing!

i cleaned up a bit, chatted with my mother and left feeling relaxed and ready for a weekend!

the entry to the weekend would have been a little lighter had my walk home not been past an angry-looking asshole dragging his dog on a tight leash, and the aggression i felt reminded me of a drunk guy who'd awkwardly flirted with gd on wednesday night and upset both of us.

i love hurrying to wait twenty minutes... especially as i was exhausted, and desperate to shut my brain down. instead, i had a large cup of coffee and called gd (we hadn't had a chance to talk yet, so that was good), and when rabbit finally arrived we had a decidedly productive and positive poetry session.

it would have been that much more enjoyable had i not had to suppress my rage at finding some asshole's gum stuck to the TOP of my seat; and i'd only moved to that table to get away from the tinny noises from some kid's cellphone which were annoying the crap out of me. that's quite the generation i was loving just then.

i came home, poured myself a rum and we connected gd's apple tv to watch bill plympton's cheatin' on vimeo. i've been waiting to see it since i backed the kickstarter last february, and omg was it worth the wait! it's a wonderful movie, and if you're not sure why you should watch it then take a look at reel.

i ate too much ice cream. by the time i was ready to call it a night i'd been asleep at the wheel for a while and i was suffering a bad case of rls.

---saturday:

after a struggle to get up, i put on paul simon - graceland, grabbed a cup of coffee and got stuck into our team's indiegogo campaign. it's been the motivation i've needed to take my game to the next level. i think i mentioned that before but i'm too tired to check right now. i sent an email to vector explaining that i'm deeply disappointed and that we won't be continuing to work together - we'll be seeing each other on thursday at godmother's, i hope things will be cool with him.

it was a beautiful, sunny morning. i took my pants to the dry cleaner's but the woman shook her head sadly and refused. i did some shopping on my way back, and as i walked out the store i watched a tiny child doing the kiddies' drunken swagger to the exit, and as i turned around caught sight of someone searching amongst the cashiers. i managed to connect the two quickly enough that i didn't need to drop everything and launch myself after the little one, the thought of which made me uncomfortable primarily because i can't speak french well and communicating "danger" and "i'm not going to hurt you" are not even remotely accessible to me when i need them. the mortified look on the man's face tells me everything i need to know about how easily parents can fuck up regardless of whether or not they think they're immune.

[continued...]

drained - part ii

[... continued]

l'artère sent me an email that was distinctly lacking in professionalism, asking (months down the line) if i had paid up my event bill... which i had. not impressed.

i did some stretching, then joined gd in watching premium rush, which just seemed like a sorry excuse to put together cycling and new york city. not exactly mind-blowing.

trying to get to bed early became falling asleep after 1am.

---wednesday:

it was a rainy morning but a good one nonetheless. having forgotten my lunch, i walked into the supermarket across the road where i'd ordered commensal meals the week before. i get that the manager can't speak english, but when i asked in french for him to speak slower it really grated my cheese when he simply repeated himself at the same speed. it took me an awkward moment to figure out more or less what he was saying.

for lunch i decided to try a little indian restaurant nearby called "pushap". seriously? i just found my new favourite indian restaurant, and it's right next to my office. which means it's right next to where i *used* to live.

godsdammit.

their thali is insane. and it's only $5!

...

in the afternoon i discovered that i'd been attempting to solve the wrong problem... i'd been given the impression that the feature i was implementing had worked once and been broken, when in fact it had never been implemented. that meant that i'd been working in the wrong problem space, and my efforts moved from backend to mobile frontend. mobile frontend is a nightmare, and what remained of my week was spent trying to get ios and android phones to use html5 the way the standard is defined: when apple and google have specifically gone against the standard, the documentation becomes utterly useless and trying to work off it is a solid waste of time :(

i was stupidly tired after work, it was too warm for a sweater and too rainy to be outside and i was too slow for la panthère verte where i managed to offend the girl trying to be helpful because she switched from english to french and i misunderstood that she was actually explaining what i'd asked her to :(

it was a great poetry evening, though, and the only thing that wasn't cool had to do with team politics. that's something that really shouldn't be a thing :(

...

i was so excited to come home and find my syndicate scanner iphone case! and so very, very disappointed to discover that the iphone 5c's volume buttons are incompatible with iphone 5 cases. what kind of a design decision is that?! it's so absurd, why would nobody mention the difference when selling 5/5s accessories?! fortunately, my letter to vistaprint's support was responded to with a full refund, and that did a good job of reducing my frustration and relieving me from my sense of ignorance.

...

hot coffee: you don't need to see more than half an hour to get a clear picture of how messed up things are and how bad it is that we all jumped on the "frivolous litigation" bandwagon. george w., you never cease to disappoint.

...

i wrote "unnecessary stress" but i haven't a clue what that was about.

---thursday:

dreams: day and night in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere, then festival fields with a three-ferrari grand prize and plenty more on display

it was cold and raining when we woke up and we were warm and cozy under the blankets. i finally cleared all the dishes and bought a couple of ac/dc albums: back in black (because i owned it) and the razors edge. i don't understand how it's possible that i've never heard the title song from the latter, because now that i have i understand why it's the title song. holy shit.

at the beginning of my lunch hour i walked in to the bell store where i got my phone intending to purchase a case with the store credit the salesman had promised me, but he wasn't there and the guy i dealt with gave me shit even before he looked up my information. he was a complete ass and i walked out in a bit of a rage. the perfect frame of mind to be calling my building manager in. those idiots couldn't grasp that i'm offering them a tenant and the money that goes with having a tenant in an apartment they're complaining is difficult to fill.

my code was fine but my machine was down. i noticed one of the guys playing counterstrike global: offensive, it looks just like i remember cs, and i guess that's the next gaming purchase...

i received a call from hema quebec, but because the french don't pronounce the "h" i thought the poor girl was saying "emma" and that made me make her repeat it for a while before giving up :/

after all that frustration, i figured out the html5 quirks and received a call back from the building manager to say that they were finally acquiescing to my (imo very reasonable) demands. i did some git wrangling until i finally tamed the beast and then took a bit of time out for myself.

[continued...]

not so much resting or relaxing - part i

we just got back from watching lucy in imax. first: i will remember not to book seats just behind the central walkway, there's a rail behind the seats in front which cuts off the bottom of the screen. and it's a movie with subtitles, so we had to sit in a specific way the entire time. second: i can ignore the outdated premise of the mysteries of brain efficiency the same way i can suspend disbelief for the hulk or spiderman. third: PHENOMENALLY fun film! excellent execution. just excellent :)

...

and now let's go back in time a little...

---
thursday 31st:

hurrying to leave and instead getting caught up in a discussion about the nature of reality, truth / fact differentiation, how discourse interferes with communication and why science is necessary and good and the difference between good and bad science and good and bad scientists. the final examples included the use of placebo by trained medical practitioners versus the dangers of homeopathy.

...

moment that defined the day: this time it's the shoelace that comes loose when your hands are full and the wind starts driving cold rain into you

...

i developed a debugging stare, and very dry eyes from it. at some point big junior messaged me to inform me that friday mornings are bacon breakfast days, and he expressed interest in my veganism so he joined me as i grabbed a cup of coffee and i told him why and how i became vegan; he seemed to appreciate the idea and asked me for my training diet. i wonder if he'll try something.

i went to my apartment to take my keys, the tenants were really nice and everything was fantastic except for the bathroom. there were black marks on the toilet and sink and the former wouldn't flush properly; not good when i needed to give it to the next tenant the following day. fortunately the building manager took care of everything super-fast.

it bothers me that i changed the address for my wired subscription a while ago but they're still delivering it there :/

i left work at 7pm but only had 6.5 hours logged. gd and i enjoyed a lazy evening and went to p.m.: we ate far too much and still managed to waddle over to yeh! for dessert :$

i managed to get to bed early.

---friday 1st:

so it turned out that the muscle spasm from the morning before was my body's stupid way of protecting me from that damned pinched nerve again. i figured that out because my muscles had relaxed enough for my nerve to start pinching.

i updated my resume to resend it to a family friend. that took a while. at this point i'm so committed to my new employer that anything that comes out of this will be way down the line, but he's doing me a favour and i won't be impolite. who knows? maybe they'll be happy to wait.

it was a hurried and surprised "is it friday?!" and we were out of almond milk, so breakfast wasn't so great. i spent my morning listening to keny arkana (brilliant).

during the day i negotiated the price for my mouthguard. the guy who wanted it was a complete asshole from the get-go and i was entirely unsympathetic.

...

the two week review: smashing! they like me, i like them, and in particular big junior gave a good report on me when both our manager and i had been concerned that he'd see me as competition.

it has been suggested that i be a little more cautious with my interference. i need to stop giving people the impression that my suggestions require immediate action.

...

i spent the afternoon becoming an expert in ffmpeg-foo. i was so deep into my debugging that i almost missed the apartment handover!

on my way out i was acutely aware of the bright sun on my neck - a week before laser hair removal, and no sunscreen? not so smart.

the handover was a pleasure. august down, september and october to go.

[continued...]

thursday already? part wednesday night

holy crap, i'm gonna be due a paycheck in a moment. it's just past midnight and i'm risking a late night just to post this, but it's looking to be another busy weekend and this is the only real quiet time i have...

---monday:

i suffered from rls and generally not resting enough. i woke up to chilly not-summer weather threatening rain and was frustrated by my hoodie going missing. for some reason it was an aerosmith morning.

an hour or so spent with big junior taught me that i need to be careful with him: he's the gatekeeper for the system i've been assigned to fix and he's really sensitive... smart guy, nice guy, but inexperienced, lazy in the wrong way and a little averse to change.

on my way to lunch i had another think about my middle east solution.

i got stuck with the stupid woman at the supermarket, who mumbled something to me so i had to take my other headphone out:
"that's mars," she said, pointing to my fruit fucker shirt.
"it's an orange, actually."
"no, mars is much more interesting."
...
"an orange ball, maybe, but not an orange."

*facepalm*

the next weird thing was one of my co-workers giving me a "gift" of an image of one of our porn service's girls wearing cat ears. that was a weird gift, and i tried to politely decline and [failed]. at least a couple of the others jumped in to the rescue.

pet peeve: relying on a specific build of something that's used in production and not knowing why nor how to go about building it? that's dangerous. that was my motivation to uncover the whole story of ffmpeg and libav in all its politically pathetic glory. what followed was two days of writing a build script that works, and learning a couple of really cool script tricks that resulted in something i was proud to commit to the team's tools repo ^_^

the rain outside was demotivating but i trained strong in spite of my desire to just go home. on my way out of the gym i realized i'd forgotten my headphones at work... which is really not a problem, my office is on the way to the metro :D

as i left the metro, aerosmith - walk this way came on and i couldn't not sing joyfully and add a bit of a spring to my step.

dinner was awesome in spite of a misunderstanding about a couple of disparate things i'd told gd about work and my co-workers. it's weird working with pornography. it's less weird than i'd imagined, but big junior told me a story about a creepy guy who used to be in the team and the very same day some odd guy from the company tried to friend me on facebook :S

we started watching expendables in anticipation of the third installment coming out. gd hadn't seen it, neither of us have seen the second. it's time.

---yesterday:

a gorgeous morning to chase the miserable one, but rendered uncomfortable by all the antisemitism in our feeds. i tried finishing my chapbook, but the software i tried to use (bookwright) has a minimum of twenty pages. seriously?!

after a month of silence, i disconnected ff from the project and sent her an email explaining why. i just received a message apologizing, responded by making it absolutely clear what the problem is and invited her to rejoin *IF* she thinks that'll change. hopefully that won't be the last i hear from her.

during the day i had a meeting with the team lead for an overview of the system, and i discussed my pet peeve about naming things "new" and "old". he proceeded to demonstrate that i was totally right and he and the manager have agreed to address my concerns.

my team-mates have explained to me why physically visiting a bank teller is an unnecessary waste of time, but that was only after i complained about my bank needing a lunch hour express teller. after withdrawing the cash and paying my rent for august i was left with no time for lunch and i rushed back to a long, boring meeting :(
at least it's the last of the "this is what these meetings will look like" and they'll be quicker and more relevant from now on...

an afternoon of script wizarding whizzed by and i suddenly developed a headache just before kickboxing. that sucked. but in spite of that, and in spite of badger abandoning me to work with the sweet, slow and weak older guy, i managed to spend my hour and a half training hard and really pushed myself. badger and i were talking afterwards and ended up going shopping together so i could show her what to get now that she and her partner are considering a plant-based diet. the talk moved on to politics; we never really got into details about the middle east before and she now has as solid an understanding as anyone's going to get.

when i got home gd told me that she's spoken to nystire who'd told her to tell me about the game. i had a good laugh at that, because i'm not playing but it's rather special considering his usual bashfulness and the fact that he and gd don't know each other from a bar of soap. nice try, mate. nice try.

we finished watching expendables, which i already knew was terrific, then went straight to bed.

[to be continued...]

on the job - part ii

[... continued]

today:

my sleep was perfect and desperately needed, with crazy dreams i can't recall. i got up slowly, twice, spoke to my mother and rushed out for a meeting with the throw poetry collective. i arrived just on time and the meeting was interesting and motivating; also, résonance's chili on rice with its sour cream made of cashews and their latté with home-made almond / coconut milk made for a great lunch.

after two hours of that i visited godmother for coffee. on my way home vfmp and his boyfriend cancelled their plans to go see shakespeare in the park; i understood, seeing as the weather was a bit iffy, but wanted to go anyway. later, when gd and i were getting ready to go it started raining and then suddenly it didn't seem like such a good idea after all :P

saturdays are supposed to be gaming days for me, but i got in about ten or fifteen minutes of ffix before gd returned home. they weren't very good minutes, either :/
i then invested a bit of my soul responding to my unfunny south african comedian ex-friend... it's not a regular duty calls, this is a case of an otherwise intelligent jew with an audience who's clueless about what's going on and is spreading lies that cause anti-semitism. the world is really sucking right now.

my short nap didn't cure my exhaustion, but it made the rest of the evening manageable.

...

we watched the rest of safe, which is an intensely fun film, and finally put stickers on the magnets gd bought so we have a useful tool for keeping track of what we need to do when we get home or before we leave. now that i've posted, it's 3.30am and it's just started raining and we're going to bed.

on the job - part i

achievement unlocked: onboarding (the next milestone).

godmother was telling me earlier that the first phase of joining a new company should be elation: check! on my way home last night i couldn't stop thinking about something: i'm working for a company where people share my taste in games to the point where i got loud compliments for my syndicate shirt, and if you don't spend your lunch hour playing something you're looked at with suspicion! even one of the security guards stopped during his rounds to inquire about shadowrun online and ask if i'd played its predecessors.

---tuesday:

i can't remember my dreams from so long ago, but the note i wrote for myself was "packed holiday festival city of madness".

i couldn't snooze but enjoyed a fantastic wake-up anyway. we had another discussion about the middle east and how we define friends, after which *gd* poked fun at *me* for being disorganized and hurried on my way to work because i've been doing the same to her for months.

for the first couple of days this week, we suffered from an ugly heat wave.

the company provides breakfast to anyone who gets in before 10am. bagels and fruit? don't mind if i do! i spent the day glued to my screen, taking only ten minutes for lunch. i chased that with kickboxing. in the middle of the class my sweating from the heat turned to cold sweat from low blood pressure, but with a little encouragement i pushed through and finished satisfied.

i was, however, disappointed with myself for having forgotten to bring dry underwear. there's nothing like getting out of the shower and putting on the sweaty ones you've just trained in. less disappointing was discovering that my old wraps were actually in my bag - because i hadn't been able to find them earlier i'd bought new ones. and the new ones are awesome.

i quickly shopped and went past my apartment to try and clear mail but the tenants weren't in. when i got home it was still super hot and humid (so much so that the fan was ineffective) and i was super tired to match. i couldn't believe i managed to eat anything in that state.

i watched an episode of hunter x hunter and half an episode of one piece, argued with an anti-israel jewish comedian i used to be good friends with and then went to bed.

---wednesday:

i woke up from a series of sci-fi dreams that were epically and indescribably weird. i was so spaced out that i filled the blender with water before connecting the stopper, so that saw me unhappily cleaning up water that had poured everywhere. recently gd was watching a documentary and the following quote made a strong impression:

it's not the large things that send a man to the madhouse... no, it's the continuing series of small tragedies... not the death of his love but the shoelace that snaps with no time left.
— charles bukowski

i left just as the rain stopped and the thunder and lightning afterwards was magnificent. the morning was consumed by meetings, i tried to have lunch at subway but the one across the road has stopped serving falafel too... i picked up a veggie burger from harvey's instead. just as i returned i received a call from a recruiter who wanted a reference for my ex-co-worker who i had coffee with a couple of months ago. i was only too happy to provide a good one, and was pleased and amused when the recruiter began asking after my details and i thanked him and informed him that i'm very happy at the moment :D

the afternoon's training went well, and i was deeply satisfied by the general good vibes in the office. i walked out shocked that the week was flying by so quickly! i picked up my mail, stopped for an energy bar and coffee, then hit the gym.

i've been promising myself new equipment for months now, and i finally bought new gloves. they're fantastic! they have small holes for breathability and i can feel the difference. also, they were the only 16oz gloves available and they're a gorgeously ugly blue and yellow ^_^

one of the boxing coaches recently underwent neck surgery and he taught me to do isometric neck stretches pre-training. i can feel the difference, it's easy to do and it's just become a part of my routine. boxing was cool, even though i got stuck with the time waster. it was frustrating but he did actually make a little progress and i got a pretty solid workout in spite of him.

i walked to the metro facing a breathtaking sunset and i was feeling good. dinner was drawn out but was stupidly delicious: my usual salad (before i learned about steaming vegetables) but with avocado and aux vivre's dragon sauce. WOW!

we started watching jeff who lives at home, then went to bed.

---thursday:

i got up with stiff, sore arms and lats. i needed to sleep late but that was denied. it would have been a beautiful morning if not for the antisemitism in the news. and that seems to be getting worse.

i left comfortably late, worried about an accident warning on the line i needed but nevertheless arrived on time. it was a jamiroquai day (i bought high times) and half of it was spent trying to get doxygen to parse php properly.

there was a company lunch and it's a BIG company, there was no way that i was waiting in an insanely long queue for a lunch that wasn't guaranteed to be vegan friendly. instead i picked up a frozen meal at the supermarket, and by the time i got back the rush was over and a single vegan sandwich was left. i wolfed down both lunches.

on the way i tried to call my visa hotline; the damn iphone keeps blanking my screen at the worst times and i eventually gave up. i guess my proximity sensor's screwy.

i completed the research i'd been doing to a reasonable degree and began translating some of what i'd learned during the week into documentation. the girl who sits next to me and i were the last to leave, and she asked me why i wasn't messing around like a lot of the others. apparently my behaviour this week is "grinding rep" :) i can afford to keep this up for four months at least!

my body was still hurting pre-training and the kickboxing class was rough, but i completed the class deeply satisfied and feeling a lot looser. on the way home i thought out of the box, which got a lot less of a response that i'd hoped for, and gd and i finished watching jeff who lives at home which is a fantastic film.

---yesterday:

the weather was definitely cooler, and i dreamed epic dreams. the morning began well with me singing along to simon & garfunkle, and continued with a relaxed code review and a long qa meeting that almost put me to sleep. i had a serious pre-lunch avocado and spinach sub that was huge and delicious, ate lunch while playing shadowrun online and spent a slow, meandering afternoon analyzing the code i'm going to be working on.

did i earn my weekend? i feel amazing about my week. i ran to walmart but couldn't find what i was looking for, picked up rainbow mentos (which turns out not to be vegan) and remembered just how awesome their flavours are.

we had a fantastic friday night boxing class, working hard and feeling good... minus wrist shock from doing impact with one guy who's so solid that hitting him hurt me. the shower afterwards was great, and i walked out bubbling with excitement over ending a week that has been consistently excellent. ^_^

gd ordered good indian food for dinner and we started watching safe.

[continued...]

a head full of clouds

my neck's a bit screwed, and i haven't been to the gym since last week. this might have something to do with my spending an inordinate amount of time on the couch playing final fantasy ix. i'm thoroughly enjoying myself!

---tuesday:

gd made excellent burgers and we washed them down with beers while watching the first half of the amazing spiderman, which as i remembered correctly is infinitely cooler and more fun than the tobey maguire version. gd went to bed and i spent a couple of hours drying out my eyes on final fantasy, and at 2am i looked at my phone and was amazed at how beautiful the resolution is compared to graphics from the turn of the millenium.

that night i dreamed deeply but couldn't recall a thing.

---wednesday:

i continued playing in the morning, and it took me many attempts to kill black waltz 1. each attempt costs a game reload and clicking through a whole lot of speech bubbles, and after what felt like hours (probably forty-five minutes) i eventually succeeded! after all that i found what zidane told the rest of the group kinda insulting.

i went on a mission to buy an rca-headphone cable and builder bars, and it was such a gorgeous day i decided to walk from vendôme to the starbucks near villa maria to meet vector. our meeting was really positive and it seems like we're going to be good :)

on my walk back to vendôme i really felt the spirit of being on holiday; not just behaving like it but knowing that i have nothing to worry about? it's been a long, long time since i've been this relaxed.

i walked past rejuice! and was pleased to see they have vegan lunches. they're not marked, so i was a little shocked when the woman charged me $16 for the salad i'd taken. seriously?! i then stopped in at a coffee shop next door and their $10 sandwiches didn't sound much better. westmount prices are something else.

i went looking for the commensal that google maps says is in my area, but that turned out to be a lie and ultimately ended up becoming a scenic route to midi 6. at least i got a whole lot of cool photos. i returned home with a full belly, a bag full of chocolate and a head full of clouds. on the way i picked up horseman from the metro and we played an hour or so of good tekken, and i discovered that other great titles are available on psn like abe's exoddus and crash bandicoot: warped. i'll get those when i'm done with what i'm currently into :P

we went for a walk along the canal, then i returned home with plans to rest. SxS and i have been playing phone tag for a while now, and i called him again. i forgot i called and accidentally left a five minute junk voicemail... how embarrassing!

i played some more ffix until gd came home, and we talked about himalayan salt. everyone talks about the wonderful properties it has like it's magical or something, but the only substantiated claims i could find online boil down to "salt isn't bad for you" or "salt can be good for you". if anybody reading this has a link to real data regarding the pink wonder-salt, i'd be really happy to see a link to it below.

gd made INCREDIBLE tortillas using fake ground beef i'd bought, and we settled in to watch oldboy (the spike lee remake). it's a brilliant film and i was blown away. almost everything was fantastic (or fantastically horrifying), the only thing i didn't like was that sharlto copley really wasn't a good fit for the character he played.

i followed that with a good deal of ffix progress.

---yesterday:

i got some hard sleeping done. hard like a log. i woke up to a sore neck and played a little more ffix. not really good for the neck.

somebody messaged me about a craigslist listing of mine, the listing was in english and they messaged me in french, so i responded in french only to discover that they're anglophone and their french is so lousy gd couldn't make heads or tails of it. later i'd discover that the dude was more of an asshole than that; i messaged him to confirm that we'd be meeting and he told me he didn't have the full amount on him and going to the bank would take too long. really?! if i wasn't so desperate to get rid of the damned thing (a model porsche) i would have told him precisely where he could stick his story.

i passed out for a bit, then woke up hungry and we still didn't have lunch. it's really hard to find commensal meals in this area! impossible, even. gd and i walked for a bit on her way to the gym, and we argued about ideological weaknesses.

strong people who feel they have control over their lives don't cause pain, they care and they build. when i say that i give people the benefit of the doubt i don't mean that i think people are by default smart or kind, i mean that they don't intentionally behave like assholes. that doesn't excuse bad behaviour, but it transforms my attitude towards them from anger to pity. gd and i had quite a misunderstanding, but we resolved it before she arrived so that's all good.

printing my documents for my first day at work was a breeze, and i sat down for lunch at satay brothers at atwater market for late lunch. the cashier knows his shit, he was able to warn me immediately that the tofu buns have skim milk in them (??!) and was able to suggest a decent vegan offering. which was delicious! oh, and he appreciated my ren and stimpy shirt, instant brownie points.

i struggled with the ps3 youtube interface for a while because you can't search or browse through channels. i played a little tekken and then took the metro to make the sale. i went into walmart and picked up yoga mats for gd and horseman, then returned home for more ffix and a little nap. gd made a wonderful quinoa dinner and we finished watching the amazing spiderman, supertongue called for advice on how to go vegan (slowly, i told her), and gd and i resumed watching detachment. phenomenal film, absolute must-see.

after being disappointed by the lack of offerings on canadian netflix, we watched a fair amount of the a-team and gd went to bed. i played with ps3 themes and converted some miyazaki films to mp4 so i can introduce gd to them.

---today:

i slept well but woke up with my neck feeling even worse :(
another craigslist listing of mine - my taekwondo gear - had a pursuer and they'd been in touch the night before, talked about meeting in the morning at 11am and had promptly gone silent. i took the gear along as i went to pay a visit to a laser clinic gd had checked out, then bought coffee and waited (writing a bit, i'm quite satisfied with my use of that time) and eventually returned home only to receive an sms to say that they were talking about tomorrow. assholes abound.

anyway, i bought a razor because i have to shave my beard for tomorrow's consultation (damn!!!), tweaked role models and wrote cattle farming, then walked into canadian tire to buy a bunch of random shit we needed. then i spent my afternoon playing more ffix, discovering crackle (a whole bunch of films we couldn't find on netflix!) and crunchroll (great anime experience! but disappointing library).

i've seen an episode of sword art online, watched one of hunter x hunter and sunk into writing this. suddenly 7pm has rolled around and i've needed to do some shopping (and dishes) before gd arrives... uh, oh :P

permission granted!

achievement unlocked: work permit acquired (the next milestone).

one of the lawyers drove me to the border as my representative, and i was shocked to learn that the previous time my lawyer had given me bad instructions! as it turns out, if you tell the americans that all you want to do is turn around at the border they will refuse you entry and give you a white slip, which you then take to the canadians. as far as the work permit application is concerned you're entering the country from the united states, but as the united states denied entry the border officials essentially have to let you back in because they weren't supposed to let you out in the first place.

that's all very, very weird, and super-bureaucratic. but i guess if everyone's happy with it then i'm happy with it, and the guy who admitted me was really cool and efficient. having been through the process a couple of times before i was a lot less nervous. but still a little nervous: those guys are essentially omnipotent regarding permits and visas, i wouldn't want them to dislike me.

...

i was pleased to learn that i pretty much know my shit regarding the permits and residence application procedures, but i was fortunate to learn that the rules for applying for residence might change soon. this means that i need to pitch a no-hitter for the next four or five months if i don't want to find myself having to fight to stay here...

---saturday:

i forgot to mention a thought i had on saturday about the burqa fundamentalist muslim women wear: its use puts humans on the same level as all the other animals, where the females have drab colours and the males have otherwise useless or counter-productive flash, like the peacock.

with the good news that i'll be working again, i splurged on itunes: i bought foo fighters - greatest hits for $7. and then today i picked up a comedy album whose proceeds are all going to a good cause, but i'm so far a lot less satisfied by that one :/

---i tried to take a nap after lunch, but my ocd was acting up and i began compulsively tidying. which mostly consisted of setting up the old amp and speakers in gd's "salon". we're now one rca-to-headphone cable shy of awesome :)

we watched stake land after going shopping, and were both thoroughly enjoying ourselves right until the end. it's a bad-ass super-cool movie about what are essentially a cross between vampires and zombies, and the ending made me feel like the world had dropped out from under me. in a bad way. other than that, the writing was really good, aside from one scene where it felt like someone had just stopped caring for a moment because they wanted a fun, scary effect that couldn't be easily justified.

gd made a double veggie / daiya cheese burger that was delicious, and we watched a bit of dan cummins - crazy with a capital f until i realized that it was midnight and i needed to be up at 6am.

---today:

around 4am i got up to serious rls, and it took about forty-five minutes to go away. i finally fell back into bed, and had a nightmare in which i watched a large green spider enter an infant's nose. after that i rushed off, barely in time to meet with the lawyer and cross the border, but had to get off the bus i'd just hopped on to return home and pick up forgotten documents. i woke up with that dread still in my chest, and discovered that i'd slept through my alarm and it was ten minutes after i'd intended to leave; it took me half an hour to get out - butterflies in my stomache turned out to be more than just butterflies - and thank all the gods gd had ironed my shirt the night before and knew where the shoe polish was.

of course, my representative would call when i was down in the metro: why does my phone bother ringing if there's not enough signal to talk? then there was a metro service slowdown, but it was only for a few minutes. then i got lost in the building, but the guy found me instead.

...

it was a gorgeous morning and the scenery on the way down to the border was stunning. on the way back, my lack of sunglasses, my lack of sleep and the looooong drive with aircon and no fresh air had me trying to hide yawns all the way. i kicked myself for a while after we said our goodbyes and i ended with "see you soon" :$

i thought i was going to take a quick nap but i crashed hard for an hour or two. gd and i played carcassonne, which she eventually enjoyed, and the rest of the afternoon has been a whole lot of random, including some very unpleasant political stuff with our friends on facebook.

at least there's more good news: vector's back on the project! very cool, that had been upsetting me.

in a pinch

my back's being indecisive. pinched nerve or strained muscles?

yesterday was a strange day. i got some cool stuff done, and i studies a lot of things that i don't have context for. in between:

i read this month's wired's the code article: how to not be a jerk in the digital age. it's an absolute must-read.

i've played a bit of shadowrun online, which is just the right amount of challenging and the latest fixes make it a lot more fun.

i've had pleasant drinks with kgb and his girlfriend, and i'm guessing by the next time i see them they'll be parents.

gd and i started watching hick last night, continued this morning and we've still got about half an hour to go. it's a wonderful, wonderful film, dark and funny and beautifully made.

---i'm sitting in a corner as far from the lounge as possible because gd's giving a haircut and we haven't set up a sound system in her "salon" yet so the volume there's on max. i've been feeling super-awkward since yesterday. at least the weather's perfectly depressing, it's like the universe wants me to keep to myself for a bit.

empty-headed

i spent yesterday afternoon getting a handle on node.js, going crazy debugging until things i hadn't seen or heard in about a year came rushing back and producing a pretty cool little web app. i went for a run, and my zombies, run! with french podcasts (coffee break french) was definitely a good idea. i was too tired to finish the run and had to walk the last couple of hundred metres, and i got home weak and desperately hungry.

...

[pulse gd rage horror]

after our world came pretty close to ending, we went to bed early. i woke up more easily this morning, i've made progress in spite of a short nap, and overall i'm feeling emotionally exhausted and unfocused which is really not where i need to be right now. of course, it doesn't help that my artists haven't been in touch in over a week.

---captain estar goes to heaven is a short, fun and clever online graphic novel. i suggest listening to lunatic calm while reading it, or even if you don't read it because it's a brilliant album.

gearing up - part ii

[... continued]


gd went to bed early and i sat down to watch hackers. i didn't realize that the netflix version is the director's cut! there's so much of that movie that i've never seen before*, it's all quite important and the overall experience was thoroughly enjoyable. i've loved that movie since i saw it on the big screen, and up until now i never realized how much it's influenced me: note the rollerblades, the outrageous clothing and the truly excellent soundtrack!

* or perhaps had simply forgotten, and it's not the director's cut? i can't tell.

...

note to self: don't log in to imdb and start rating movies and making lists before bed...

or ever...

---wednesday:

my bank account's hit rock bottom, and i'd been waiting for an SOS infusion from my mother just in case my permit was delayed. i woke up to an email informing me that it still wasn't transferring.

i was half asleep as i made us breakfast, which has become a thing. i desperately need to reset my body clock! anyway, i stretched with gd, continued rating movies on imdb, then went back to bed. the re-sleep was AMAZING, the difference night and day [sorry]. i ran shadowrun online's daily mission (i haven't won one yet) and agreed to help uncle hate out with an excel file, then headed out to the bank to figure out what was going on.

the idiot at my bank branch - a guy who messed with me a long time ago because he didn't trust my identity - informed me that the idiot at the other bank branch had given me incomplete information for an international transfer.

amazing! how very professional.

so i walked across the road to an excellent indian restaurant and scanned and sent the correct details while i waited. the vegetable briyani was terrific and i honestly can't believe i ate so much, i was *really* hungry!

...

in the rush to enter a train on the way back home i almost got pushed into a closing door, luckily for me the driver stopped the doors before they closed on me and for half a minute i glared at the asshole who'd been behind me :@

...

i didn't quite rest but had no time or headspace for the coding i needed to do. i left for the slam team meeting having achieved precious little.

it was a gorgeous day on mont royal. did i see a policewoman wearing black and white camo pants? what the hell?!

it was a good team meeting, i learned some interesting things and suffered inspiration overload. i've got sooooo much to write it's ridiculous.

...

i came home, and i don't know what i was expecting to do for the rest of the evening but whatever it was disintegrated in the furious flames of a crazy fight with gd. it was the kind of fight where we each thought the other had had enough and was ready to split up, it was a horror show and it astounds me that it ended with two very worn out, very loving combatants.

we're weird.

and while neither of us want to ever experience that kind of thing again, we both know that these are just obstacles on a long road together and we can only hope the rest of them will be a little more minor.

---thursday:

yesterday morning was good and slow. the money had transferred successfully, so that was a load off my mind, and i attacked my task list item by item, finally looking at the first stages of my collaboration with airplane. his first page is gorgeous! i'm delighted by that :)

almost as much as by receiving news that my permit's been approved ^_^

[continued...]

gearing up - part i

it's friday afternoon, i'm still feeling a bit offline after my first cup of coffee. it's been a political day mostly, which i might mention in another post, and i've done all the dishes and i've got the weight of unfinished business on my back. i'm also quite nervous about monday, because that's when i'm going to go through the border for my permit. i'm a little bit nervous about getting back into an office and a routine, too. i feel like i need to shake some cobwebs out even though i'm sure i'll be fine.

i need to be 100% motivated, focused and ready for anything. i cannot afford to fail.

---sunday:

gd and i watched the source family, a wonderful documentary on a wonderfully strange cult, and that put me into a deep sleep from which i woke up in the morning feeling stuffy. fortunately that went away. i had things to do but gd was on a video call so i spent that time consuming (having fun). afterwards she attempted to make carrot-and-apple juice with the resurrected blender, but that attempt failed miserably and we won't be doing that again. blended ice, maybe. blended carrots, nuh-uh.

the high from my call to my point of contact was short-lived, as gd heard about something remarkably stupid, mean and unprofessional her boss had done almost immediately afterward. that's all referred to here.

we finally cleaned the floors and made the living room livable, and i walked out into a hot, muggy and rainy afternoon to make the boxing class. boxing was solid, although my right arm was hurting and i wasn't sure if it was muscle strain or a pinched nerve. yesterday i realized that it's just muscle strain, the pinched nerve hits other areas.

note to self: bring clean underwear to the gym. i'm not used to showering there; i had things to do (shopping and picking up mail) and i aside from the discomfort i was walking around looking like i'd wet myself where my sweaty boxers touched my shorts. add to that discomfort the realization that i'd left my brolly at the gym when i was more than five minutes away... at least i was still in the same neighbourhood...

after shopping i arrived at my apartment just after realizing that while i've kept the mailbox key, i've given up my entrance key so i can't get to the mailbox without assistance. nice one. to round out the evening, i just missed the metro with frozen goods in hand.

concern for the evening: why are my arms so weak lately? is it nerve damage?

a shower, a quick frozen dinner, a load of laundry and bed.

---tuesday:

i woke up to gd's nightmare pre-confrontation morning; there's little as difficult as telling someone to risk becoming dependent on you when you yourself are in a financial rut. so when things went well, and everyone was happy, you can imagine that there might have been a little post-drama celebrating.

...

i went to meet vfmp for coffee, the beatles - let it be being played by a busker as i left the metro felt quite appropriate. vfmp and i argued about the value of plush toys forgotten in the far reaches of musty cupboards and drew inspiration for a reboot of an old television series. after chatting we were considering going to get lunch somewhere when i realized that i didn't have house keys.

wtf?!?! how did that happen? i called gd to make sure she was there and hurried back, rather ashamed of myself and my ocd failure.

...

i spent some time installing emulators with the intention of playing chrono trigger some day, then rushed out to meet horseman. the metro was overly-warm and i had to wait a while for him to arrive, but once we cleared the surface it was beautiful weather and we walked around, ending up in griffintown visiting abyss. not only is it an awesome art gallery / studio / tattoo parlour, but the owner's prepared to discuss our slam team using the space for fundraising and her mother has aerospace contacts. nice!

i awkwardly called the woman subletting my apartment to ensure i'd be able to get in to the building. it was hot and packed in the metro, i was forced to stand while my blood sugar dropped and the half-hour ride took almost an hour due to service issues. i walked out clammy and unhappy. after making the new tenant feel uncomfortable, someone else let me in to get my mail so i hope she didn't rush home on my account :$

i didn't have time or energy to train so i went for a run along the canal. vfmp let me use his (virtual) library card to download an audiobook and i listened to the first chapters of suzanne collins - the hunger games in between zombies, run! pieces. it's a pretty good system, and i've since figured out how to add podcasts to an accessible playlist so i'll be combining running, zombies and french lessons in the future!

it rained for about half of my run, and i'm grateful that my arm strap is water-resistant enough to protect my phone. in addition to coming home soaked, the pinched nerve in the middle of my back was acting up :(

primary thought for the run?
which do you prefer, winter or summer?
whichever has less rain.

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