not so much resting or relaxing - part v

[... continued]

---thursday:

thursday was consistently crap, beginning with the electricity being cut when i was mid-shave. at least the water was still running, 'cause that would've been way worse. it was a beautiful morning that was properly soured by bnw's husband posting an ugly piece of anti-zionist propaganda on my wall, and what followed would only be (relatively) resolved much later and only yesterday did something positive come out of the whole thing. i don't need to convince you to love israel, i just need to convince you to avoid media bias and misinformation. more on that later, or some other time.

because my phone wasn't working i wasn't sure if the bank had called me to collect my card, so i went *again* and was disappointed *again*.

---on my way to work i bought a headset because i'd read up on my microphone problems. for the iphone 4 there's really not much you can do about it (i tried cleaning the various mics). i made a call i'd been needing to make, the headset worked perfectly for about five minutes and then *IT* stopped working. wtf?!?!

just then, just after i'd tried calling back three times and resetting with no luck, gd contacted me upset because [okay, i'm going to have to leave this out]. when i called her and she couldn't hear me and that made things worse i flew into a silent, seething rage. i furiously messaged her - messaging is NOT an appropriate medium for furious communications - and then told my boss i needed a couple of hours to get myself a new phone. i was originally going to head downtown to the apple store, but he sagely pointed out the bell office across the road.

score!

i walked in, silently suffered the salesman's manipulations and examined my options*. i finally walked out with a two year contract that costs $5 more (for an extra 2gb of data), a two year warranty that includes water damage (i've learned my lesson) and a shiny green iphone 5c.

* there weren't many, really. and i was a little annoyed about aota having taken a new phone with my current contract and leaving me with a refurb, but later i'd remember that the company was paying my phone bills so we're definitely square.

...

örmagörd: in the two days that i've had it, i've realized just how much poorer my quality of life was for the bad performance and utterly shite connectivity of my previous phone. perhaps naming it gir was looking for trouble? the new one is subject b.o.b. and his cover, which is on its way, is a scanner from the purchase menu :D

of course, as i called gd on my way back to the office it started raining. #$@!#$#@$%%!
and she was working, so she was annoyed because she thought it was a pocket dial.

i spoke to my mum quickly, and for that i needed the headset i'd bought in the morning so at least it wasn't a complete waste. i felt a little awkward when i remembered that i was using the corporate network for a personal call, but i don't know why that should bother me.

later, when i got home, i'd be intensely grateful that itunes restores backups so beautifully. it's an absolute blessing!

---i stayed really late to make up the hours, switching from phpstorm to enide because the former is incredibly annoying to use. the latter's just like any flavour of eclipse, only it can't perform a proper search through javascript code. i don't know how that got through, so now i don't know which ide to use and i'm fairly close to reverting to a combination of notepad++ and vi. that should tell you everything you need to know about the current state of tools available for software development.

...

i briefly logged in to crunchyroll when i got home. i love what they've got, even if their selection is rather limited, but it bothers me that they don't have dubbed versions available. i prefer subs myself, but for gd it's too much of a strain :(

i spent the night doing organizing things and finding and customizing images for my phone. its appearance is important to me. it looks really cool now and with the cover it's going to be magnificent!

---friday:

i woke up from crazy dreams. my notes from those dreams were: houseboat saving a book, making servants' lives difficult, conflict in israel over three celebrities posing together, mom pointing them out but i didn't understand

i woke up to see that protoplasm had been to a wolfmother concert. i'm pretty damned jealous. and my music collection's only getting larger as the salaried weeks go by :P
speaking of which, i've just discovered google play music, so gd and i can shared my itunes music library. AWESOME!
well played, google. well played.

[continued...]

i don't even. part iii.

[... continued]

monday continued:

i left gd's when it was time to get ready for the first night of passover. i walked in a semi-daze, completely high (on life, and it's been mostly sustained this whole week) and utterly distracted.

not the best time to receive a series of messages from aaa telling me she didn't *get* it, apparently she changed her mind at the slam and still wants to date. i gently chided her and put her off, hoping she got the message this time...

...

the spring rain would have been more welcome had i not been dressed well. just saying.

---the first night passover dinner was insanely tedious. if it wasn't for the fact that i won't let my family down, it was so bad that even if it wasn't the last time that our hosts will be hosting (for a while at least, they're not going to be here next year), i'd say i'd never go there again. it's not that they're not nice people, and the food was good, but it was like nobody cared enough to participate in the seder AND they went through every single page of the damned haggadah anyway. it's okay if it's one or the other, but both?!

and the company. oh gods, the company. not only did i want to be spending my evening with gd, but i was surrounded by people i have absolutely nothing in common with and who amongst themselves couldn't keep a conversation going for more than a minute unless it was about sports, and that conversation lasted about five minutes and was entirely composed of random facts and completely unfounded speculations being thrown across the table.

damn.

DAMN.

and yang, who i usually can at least have some kind of entertaining interactions with even if they're negatively entertaining, was being even more of a yanghole than usual so i didn't want to talk to him at all.

...

for some reason, in my head i can summarize the experience with "we had to keep our shoes on at the table". the only positive thing about the seder being so bad is that it was the primary cause for certainty that i wasn't simply hallucinating those 24 hours.

---gd was amused that i was considerate enough to carefully floss and brush extra-well before heading over to her place as i'd eaten something for dessert that she's so allergic to that micro-contact would send her into anaphylactic shock. pulse and her had both warned me about this; i had this horrifying vision of having to call 911 in the middle of the night...

i ran into vector as i walked into the metro, and it sounds like he and i are going to be able to get to work on our collaboration in a couple of weeks - so that's cool.

---yesterday:

i came home in that same state as after a long night of hard partying, happy but in an altered state of mind caused by a combination of excess happiness and sleep deprivation.

and i thought that when i got home i'd post, and call people back, and otherwise be productive. boy, was i wrong!
i received a phone call from a recruiter i'd never heard of with a contract that urgently needs to be filled and that, quite frankly, is PRECISELY what i'd consider my ideal re-entry into aerospace! what terrifying serendipity! what freakishly good fortune!

i cited aota and my last commander as references, and was pleasantly surprised to get a phone call from aota a short while later informing me that she'd provided me an AMAZING reference and inviting me over for coffee. what?! how awesome is that?!

...

that was when the universe decided to give me a kick in the backside. literally. i was on my way up the stairs at aota's metro station when my nerve pinched again. sciatica, apparently. it began by bothering me every few steps, and would proceed to get progressively worse as the day worn on...

...

i spent hours at aota's chatting with her and her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend until i realized that i was really hungry and that i needed to get going anyway. i was entering the metro when the morning's recruiter called, hoping to catch me in time for a quick face-to-face introduction, and after i decided not to put myself in a position where i might be late for dinner i realized that i'd dodged a bullet because i wasn't exactly dressed for success. rule: don't meet potential employers or recruiters wearing street clothes.

on the metro: a bag isn't a person, and doesn't require its own seat on a packed train. but the dude didn't need to give up BOTH seats in order to let me have one.


by the time i returned home my lower back was in agony every few steps. so much for grateful positive vibes, huh?

the second night's seder was suuuuuch an improvement! both uncle hate and yang disagreed, but that was purely on grounds of them being assholes. we skipped bits that weren't imperative, everyone was friendly and positive and joined in, and even the elderly italians across from me were very sweet and we had fun chats about the most arbitrary things.

also, it was far quicker than the previous night's. and the food was good.

---by the time the seder was done my sciatica was constant and extremely painful, i was limping and wobbling occasionally, struggling to sit or stand. i called gd when i got home and discovered that she suffers from it too, not only did she have advice for me but she talked me through finding appropriate meds. they helped a little, even if i woke up with cotton wool between my ears...

[continued...]

quick turns

today was coloured by the phone call that i received in the afternoon informing me that i've been cleared through the first interviews and will be invited back for the rest. that - is - AWESOME news ^_^

so i've got more studying and preparation to do for those, but it's so nice to know that it's working for me!!!

---after posting yesterday, i went to take all my tax documents to vfmp who's going to hand them over to his boyfriend, the tax expert. on my return i waited for a while at the wrong bus stop, and some mentally handicapped dude saw my hesitation and wanted to help, and he was so sweet (he was telling me how he got lost, and how he cried) that it was hard not to take his advice when i was sure that it wasn't good. after missing another bus i *did* cross to the one he was suggesting and it turned out to be the right choice.

after my last experience i decided to skip the french meetup and instead put on puss in boots in french with french subtitles. it appears that animated kid's films are the way to go.

boxing last night was really good, and i was pleased to find that after the last week or two my legs are already back to being tough enough to handle the heavy bags. my ankle's good again and i guess the fact that i've been cautious about using it is why i softened up...

my yoga instructor offered to pass my resume through to her boss, and after i sent it she suggested that considering her company's policies i might want to play down my military experience. i told her that if her employer has a problem with my military experience, i'd have a problem working with them. there's no room for discussion on this.

aota contacted me out of the blue for a chat, which was nice, and i was surprised to hear her speaking well of darn who has apparently begun to shine since megaman left. i'm glad to hear it. a little disappointed to hear that they finally moved into decent offices *after* i left, which they'd been promising to do since before i joined them...

i made an over-sized, delicious salad and watched the rest of puss in boots before lining up a bunch of other films. and then it was late and i crashed.

---today:

i began the day trying to figure out how to sell my books that pg's keeping for me. this isn't easy because facebook won't show my posts if they're not engaged with and the only second-hand website in israel isn't open to use from outside of the country. that's kinda dumb.

i took a pair of pants to the dry cleaner, trying to sneak in some recycling by carrying them on two dry-cleaner hangers covered by dry-cleaner plastic. i was so pleased when the woman there actually put the hangers with a bunch of others :)

i headed out to fcmg's new place to discuss the comics for the first time since before she gave birth two months ago. the metro was experiencing some serious issues and in addition to the crazy congestion that caused, someone in our car was freaking out every time we came to a stop and the lights went out. this happened in between stops, and i had my earphones in so i didn't hear what was said but i noticed that everyone around me was giggling...

rain + metro issues = CRAZY packed.

so fcmg's pad is awesome, her daughter's really cute and she has a couple of very cool cats. the difficulties with working and tending to an infant quickly became apparent, and so everything was stop / start but we got through whatever we needed to get through. i walked out of there uncertain of where we're going but sure that we're going somewhere.

i'd read 18 ugly truths about modern dating that you have to deal with in the morning and i'd been thinking about the mixed messages from aaa that i'd been receiving over the previous couple of days. i became convinced of two things:
1. that she wasn't really interested in me and that it was time to call it.
2. that, like the japanese, i'm done with all this dating shit. it's bullshit, and lots of it.

on that note, i sat down at la panthère verte for their meal of the day, a delicious vegan stew, then returned home to watch pirates of the caribbean dubbed in french (eh, not too bad) for a bit and wonder if my back could handle the evening's training. that was when i got that phone call, so i was super stoked and relieved :)

i was pretty tired, so i downed an energy drink and headed off to the gym. i don't know if it was the drink or something else, but as i walked out i developed a bellyache that wouldn't go away until halfway through the class...

[holy crap, i just saw (finally!) weidman vs silva 2 - it doesn't matter that i knew what was coming, that was absolutely insane to watch.]

... so there's this girl at the gym that i've been friendly with for a while and who just joined our kickboxing class for the first time. we were partnered up and everything was as usual until the final exercise, about ten or fifteen minutes of kick / check drills. i gotta admit, at some point i found that i was concentrating less on kicking and checking and more on checking out because she's quite sexy and between her movements and semi-transparent training outfit my brain's wired to stare. i didn't miss a beat, though, so that's cool. i guess that was actually good for me because i was checking unconsciously :P

...

aaaaaaanyway, after all the negativity surrounding aaa i got home to find she'd called and left me voicemail... so i called her back and we had a good, positive chat for half an hour. so i guess she *is* interested, and i'm just a little girl when it comes to relationships. that's okay, i can deal with that.

well, time for bed, and an exciting couple of days ahead. things seem to be moving in a good direction and if i play my cards right, they may just become awesome! if not, they'll be shit. so i'd better get it together.

---so, québec - the liberals have won the elections. while everyone's jumping for joy, i'm hoping that this means that things will stabilize (apparently they've already stabilized, and it's only been one day) and remain stable for the next four years. because that's just how long i need to become a citizen, assuming i land a job soon. after that, i'll be happy to vote and pray like everyone else :)

april 1st

there's a man outside with a leafblower going up and down the parking lot and making a lot of noise. i watched him for a few moments, fascinated by the fact that there're no leaves to be seen anywhere. he must be doing a particularly good job.

---it's gotta be the yoga, i woke up yesterday feeling indescribably relaxed and comfortable, and "well"... i didn't want to get out of bed at all. i woke up this morning feeling the same. is this a thing? i really want it to be a thing.

i wanted to do something for april fool's, and settled on posting what i thought was ridiculously obvious: i've decided it's time for another tattoo... i'm thinking on my lower back this time. something tribal, maybe? what do you guys think?
some of the responses were in on the joke and hysterically funny, some of them were just as funny but surprised me with their seriousness - it was such fun! i got a few good laughs out of it, which i'd soon discover that i'd really need...

---the h&r "specialist" i had an appointment with is a russian with bad english. for an hour we talked at cross purposes and struggled over all the tax rules and the documentation that i'd brought. half the time she was trying to explain things to me that didn't need explaining, generating immense confusion. the entire process was tedious to say the least, but eventually we got through it.

now, the way people here have been talking about tax returns i understood that it's something that you have to do, but that by and large the tax that's automatically taken out of each salary payment is usually too much and that if one does things correctly one can expect a bit of cash back. the only disappointment i was expecting was to walk away $120 poorer (the 80 that i was quoted for the filing, and another 40 for reprinting the supporting documentation).

i felt like my chair had been pulled out from under me when she explained that i owe the canadian government $1000. i was shocked, i was unhappy, and it took the woman a while to explain this to me (albeit unsatisfactorily) - i even sent messages to aota and newk'd to verify that what she was saying made any sort of sense. before they could respond, though, the woman hit me with a bigger surprise.

i felt like the ground had opened up beneath me when she explained that in addition to owing the canadian government $1000, i owe québéc $2000. i went from shocked to traumatized, and was horrified when both aota and newk'd told me that this kind of thing is normal. then how the hell has nobody even mentioned this before?!?!

why is godmother, who's lived here for thirty years, also surprised?!

this was all bad enough, but to add insult to injury i was then informed that having h&r fill out my forms for me would actually cost $300.
"i'm so sorry," she informed me, "but it's the system, not me."

beneath the distress, anger bubbled. i will not be robbed on top of being robbed. i explained that they'd quoted me at 80, and that i wouldn't be paying more than 80. she seemed genuinely sorry, and i tried to explain that i was grateful for her services but that i would be taking my custom elsewhere. i took all my documentation and i walked. thinking about how very stupid they are for being dishonest... or at least not forthcoming with their quotes... because the poor woman just struggled through an hour of providing me the best service she could and nobody's going to see a cent for it.

*shakes head*

i kept hoping she'd call me back and yell "april fool" into the phone, tell me that it was all a shitty prank and that i should come back to finish filing and receive my return :(

---i sat in the food court forcing myself to eat and breathe and re-evaluate my position. i cooled down a bit when i realized that this puts me into my worst-case scenario of having to find a job within a month and a half before having to leave. not much consolation, but consolation nonetheless. i had a date scheduled for the afternoon and i would've cancelled otherwise. there's no point going on a date in a distressed state.

so i had my first coffee and reworked a bit of my comic script, then hurried home. i had little time between arriving home and leaving for the date, and most of it was consumed with communicating. the most important call was with my mother, who's offered a backup plan that relieves a solid layer of stress.

---the date? i thought it was really nice and that we had a good time. she was more attractive than in her photos, she's fascinating and she speaks in imperfect english with a really cute british accent (she's french but lived in england); when we said goodbye she sent me a massively mixed signal by gripping my arm in a way that could either mean she didn't want to let go OR that she's pitying me because she did. considering the fact that she hasn't responded to a message i sent her last night i'm guessing it's the latter. which is a bummer.

...

when i wanted to pay and leave there was a sudden influx of customers - one of whom shamelessly cut in front of me, which was weird, and even weirder when she apologized after she'd paid. then i was facing the girl behind the counter with a long line behind me, trying to explain in french that i wanted to pay for our coffees and "delay" a bowl of soup. there was nothing complicated about what i was saying, but she couldn't understand me and after trying twice i said it in english.
so then she got loud. "OH. YOU WANT TO PAY? FOR YOUR COFFEE? THANK YOU! AND YOU WANT TO DELAY A SOUP! THANK YOU!" she shared with the entire building.

i was so embarrassed :$

---rush hour on the metro. ugh.

for the first time in ages i went to jiu-jitsu. i really had trouble with last night's exercises and i was feeling a bit stupid. then there was an exercise where i was sure that my partner was doing it wrong. i tried to explain it to him but he showed me why i was confused, so i apologized for wasting his time and gave him some of my "turn" as compensation. then zahabi called us all in to explain that a few of us were off, and in slow-motion showed us precisely what i'd been trying to explain in the first place.

so there was that...

the dude destroyed me during rolling, i just couldn't get my shit together. i cut early to prepare for kickboxing. i was telling the jolly moroccan about my april fool's prank and my yoga instructor asked me what a "tramp stamp" is. when i told her, she was mortified because... she has one.
*facepalm*
between that and the shark thing, i'm going to need to vet everything i say in front of her before i open my mouth :P

the amount of leg kicks we had to absorb last night was ridiculous. i walked out thinking "the beatings continued and morale improved", went home and spent the next hour or so applying ice packs and watching thérèse. it's weird seeing audrey tautou playing not-amélie right after seeing amélie. i barely understood what was going on. i'm going to need to re-watch it until i do.

---i was supposed to meet with vfmp this morning but he's been unreachable. instead, i applied for a couple of jobs and wrote this. now i'm going to do some studying.

pre-screening

aww, man. i ate at cafe juicy lotus today. they had a delicious quinoa-based vegan pizza, but i wonder if the woman was mistaken and there was cheese under all those veggies because i've had the most horrific headache since i got home. now is not the time, i've got my screening interview in the morning :(

---i forgot to mention that on my way out of the gym last night i tripped over army brat's tog bag that she'd left just around a corner. this wouldn't be interesting except that i walked into it with my cracked toe, which was finally healing and is now back to really sore :(

i woke up early this morning, in time to catch a majestic sunrise, then proceeded to spend my day studying with the occasional distraction. a constant over the last couple of weeks has been another case solved - it's just like 10000000 in terms of its grip, and oddly enough it has the same underlying mechanics. the story's pretty cool, though, and there're some levels i want to revisit because they contain some cool easter eggs.

i met up with newk'd at cafe juicy lotus to go over the basics of filling out tax returns. the tax bureau's envelopes are insanely complicated to open! i spoke to aota to clarify something that didn't seem right and it appears that megaman forgot to do something that may or may not be to my benefit in the long run. a lot of other customers were speaking hebrew, which was pretty weird. between today and the last time i spoke to pg, i'm amazed at how much french comes out when i'm trying for hebrew!

---i've been feeling crap since i got home, i hope it's not serious. i'm struggling to wrap my head around things that really aren't complicated and i couldn't even nap. ugh :(

ameliorating

horseman came over and we talked. a lot. then we went for a walk, for which i was slightly under-dressed, and stopped at starbucks to talk some more. then we returned to my place and played some tekken.

all except that last item was handled in french, and i'm definitely getting more comfortable... if not actually comfortable per se.

in french, horseman presented me with a psychological walkthrough that seems to me to be a lot more fun than analytically useful. there are multiple versions of the story, some including animals. horseman's included a forest, a key, a house, a body of water and a wall. *if* you've done the exercise before, you might be amused to learn that i saw a gingerbread house (witch included), i had two simple methods for crossing the body of water and i refused to make assumptions as to what was behind the wall. just sharing.

aota got in touch with me this evening to give me some odd job hunting advice; she sounds like she's doing a little better, at least. i spent my evening playing tekken, watching misfits and once upon a time, and am about to complete the ritual by reading until i'm so tired that making my bed is a chore. i don't know why i do that, especially consciously. that's just weird. maybe i'll just do that now.

a good goodbye weekend

i've been separating out the last few days into individual posts, but that's not so simple... so this is just going to cover the weekend. the weekend was incredible! i'm praying that this isn't my last in montreal... what makes me nervous is that even though i'm legitimately here and have permission to stay until 2015, the border officials don't have to let me back in.

but if this was my last weekend, then it's the one that's made the best impression so far. hands down!

---friday:

once again i enjoyed sleep that can only be described as heavenly.

having arranged to pay aota a visit, i called her up to let her know that i was on my way.
"you don't understand the state i'm in. i can't see people."
"i'm not people!"
i braved the ridiculous snowstorm (it was really pretty)*, had an amusing ordeal at a local coffee shop** and spent an hour or two with her. by the time i left she was feeling much better, so i was glad.

while i was there i sent an email to the cto asking for my job back. he hasn't responded yet, i'm pretty sure that means he's not interested. oh, well. i had nothing to lose.

* i can finally understand people running when it's super-cold! the previous week's temperatures had conditioned us all to much worse, so everyone was relaxed and warm enough.

** the girl behind the counter couldn't find the soy milk.
"us vegans are such trouble-makers!" i joked.
"nonsense! not at all!" boomed the rotund, smiling owner, stepping out to the front from whatever he'd been doing.
an indian man walked in wearing nothing but a sweater.
"did you really go outside like that?" asked the owner.
"i work a block away, it was fine."
i chimed in with my previous observation, and that began a conversation that moved from the weather to accents to south africa, mandela, crime and politics. i was impressed that my coffee was still warm when i eventually explained that i had to leave. while i put my coat back on, the owner came over and put a piece of delicious-looking cake on the table.
"for you, my friend. merry christmas!"
i refused the cake, explaining that i'm vegan. he didn't seem offended but i kinda felt bad about not accepting it... later i'd feel doubly bad because i could totally have taken it to aota!

what a schmuck i can be :(

...

on the way to meet horseman for coffee i walked past a man busking. i tossed him $2 and got a happy clappy christmas song stuck in my head in return :S
horseman and i had coffee, i joined him on his mission to get chinese and then left him for friday night training.

vfmp arrived without gloves, so we did some basic footwork and then joined the jiu-jitsu class. it was a good class, i learned a lot and even more from vfmp's runtime commentary when we continued drilling afterwards. one of the guys in the gym (the guy who farted on me a short while back) warned us that he'd heard a report that we were going to experience freezing rain the next day. after getting home, i checked the weather report and everything seemed fine, snow was predicted. i stopped worrying about it.

when saying goodbye and leaving the gym, the girl wire's into was working the desk.
"sunday's the last day of your membership? but you're leaving wednesday? don't worry about it."
*taps on keyboard*
"you can come in on monday too, if you like," she said with a smile :)

i put on my boots on the mat at the entrance, sitting at an angle with my legs just jutting into the doorway. as i leaned over to tie them someone almost walked into me. i jumped back and apologized, looking up in gsp's face. again?! how embarrassing!

at vfmp's, we enjoyed a decent fake minced-meat and lettuce dinner - i don't usually approve of fake meats, but this wasn't bad and it's high protein. his brother joined us and we played thunderstone.
the game was great, but we realized too late that the barkeep should be bought early on! between that and the town guard the buying strategy got a bit crazy.

i was flattered to hear that vfmp and his boyfriend have agreed that if i have trouble at the border then his boyfriend will marry me in order to get me in. that's the second last-chance offer i've received (aota's was the first), and they've planted the idea of "mail-order husband" in my head :P

...

i stepped out into the post-snowstorm night with solid groovy trance and found it hard to contain the stomping and dancing that's been building up inside and pushing at the boundaries of my body. i can't wait for new year's!

...

i was planning on training the following morning, but on my way home realized that i was tired, it was late and i'd need to drive in harsh winter conditions. i figured that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea.

---saturday:

i woke up early, checked the weather report. freezing rain, ice pellets, sleet. shit. no way i was going to brave that, so i called up the rental agency and cancelled my reservation. the guy on the phone sounded irritated by he was efficient and didn't give me any grief. i messaged the guy i was going to travel with, and turned in for another couple of hours. the next day i would learn that the weather had actually been easier to drive in than the next day, which wasn't so bad.

*sigh*

when i woke up i decided to hit the gym; if i wasn't going to be able to snowboard, then i definitely wanted to make the most of what remained of my membership! i arrived around the same time as vfmp, but he was doing the jiu-jitsu gi class which i couldn't join. so i watched enough to get a sense of what they were doing and then focused on shadowboxing and the bags. the kid who hits too hard was around, so i asked if he wanted to spar. after the experience [mentioned here] i was feeling really good as i walked out of the gym.

vfmp waited for me while i showered, and we headed downtown for lunch and supplement shopping. the first meal was at liquid nutrition, their protein shake was oddly purple and delicious! the second was at cafe verdure, which has a nice atmosphere and all the food is vegan and gluten free. and also delicious! we even had desserts: the doughnuts were tasty but the texture was weird, the cupcakes were fantastic.

when i got home i decided it was nap-time. i tuned in to a french radio station which soon began a reading of the translated charles dickens - a christmas carol. what a win! and because i'm basically familiar with the story, i understood a little more than i might have otherwise.

i'd somehow scratched my forearm during the day, close to where my elbow is still recovering from the recent damage. the supermarket was warm, as usual, but when i stood in line at the cashier the scratch began to burn, and heat from it spread like fire throughout my body. i left my stuff on the conveyor and rushed to a bench to strip off my jacket and sweater... when i got home i found an old tube of antiseptic cream (expired a year ago) and rubbed a generous quantity on the area. a few more of those over the next day or two and everything seems okay now. only earlier this evening i managed to scratch the other arm in the same place! i don't know what's going on :S

...

there's nothing like pulling warm dry laundry out the dryer on a cold day.

---sunday:

after talking to sq, i called the israeli tax authority to find out why they think i need to fill out an "annual form" for 2011 if i don't have a "file" open.
"there was some anomaly during that year, so we opened a file for you and we'll close it as soon as we figure out what happened. sorry, but an annual form has to be filled out."
"okay. so how do i do that?"
"sir, i don't care about the what's and why's. you have to fill out an annual form."
"yes, i got that. but *how* do i do that?"
"sir, i just told you. i'm not going to repeat myself."
"you didn't explain a thing to me, i don't understand how to submit an annual report - especially not from outside the country - and i want you to explain the process to me!"
"sir, i'm sorry, i'm not going to repeat myself. have a nice day."
*click*

oh, israel, how i miss you.

...

fortunately my ranting online had an old friend put me in touch with an accountant who seems eager for my business. i've signed and sent him power of attorney forms and i'm hoping he'll come back to me with positive news...

---after three and a half hours' sleep i woke up, quickly readied myself and joined icarus outside. getting out of my road was a mission and a half with all the snow: first time i've shovelled any! the drive wasn't too bad but we needed to seriously heat up the inside of the car in order to stop ice forming on the windshield. that was kinda uncomfortable :(

my mind was on the morning's conversation all day, and i had paul simon - graceland in my head. we arrived at saint sauveur, i grabbed a cup of coffee while icarus rented his helmet (by now he's paid enough times that he could have bought his own with that money), and we headed out.

1. on the green run, i worked on switching and i'm now doing it at much higher speeds than before. awesome!

2. not as awesome as my last run. i'd had a really fun few hours on the slopes, mostly on black diamonds. for the last run i picked the route that i'd hurt myself on a few weeks ago - this time it was covered in giant moguls. i hit them at high speed, and not only maintained the speed but was navigating them instinctively; my mind was only registering what my body was doing just as i was doing it, and by the time i reached the bottom i turned around to look at what i'd been through, unable to figure out how i'd done it. i was on a serious adrenaline high, and although i'd been thinking of getting in another day before leaving i decided on the way out that *that* is the memory i want to travel with.

it was glorious!

the drive back was a little easier than the one there, and we returned to montreal just about when we'd intended. i posted what followed here.

...

bell's warning message that i'd reached 90% of my data plan was most welcome :P

the ghost of christmas future

tuesday:

on tuesday night i tried watching hajime no ippo; it's nice that so much anime is available for free, but the quality of the experience is so bad that when i couldn't find the second part of episode one after two minutes i just gave up. besides, my "standing desk" made my legs tired and i was kinda irritated by the slow eating thing. it's still happening, i don't know what the deal is.

---yesterday:

i tried not to let my phone snooze, and instead what i ended up doing was snoozing manually and by longer stretches. i think it might be defeatist. either way, the last half hour of sleep was crucial, and absolutely heavenly!

i met up with vfmp and i spent our striking time coaching him on stance and basic boxing. i enjoy coaching. a lot. and i totally empathize with the frustration of having to unlearn bad habits... for the ground half vfmp taught me escape techniques, which have come in handy a lot sooner than i expected! but there was so much cool stuff he showed me and it's so hard to keep it all together :(

after we were done i punched myself out of breath on the bags, and was so warmed up when i left that i needed neither tuque nor gloves and it was -7 :)

the big realization of the morning: it's the last week until christmas! and i'm not ready to leave yet! i haven't snowboarded enough! i haven't got everything i need!

after i got home my french partner informed me that out of desperation (he's having trouble finding work) he's cancelling our meetings for a while. that's a bummer, i'm going to need another partner... speaking of people bailing on me, i was expecting the cleaning lady all day and she never came. later when i asked she was embarrassed to admit that she'd completely forgotten, so she'll be in after i've left. it does make it more appropriate timing for leaving her a christmas gift, and it means that i'll definitely get home to a clean apartment :)

it was a day of gaming and psy trance. i've begun the original fallout, which happily isn't far behind its sequel :)

i headed to hertz to check out their rental options, and walked from the plamondon station. after walking through such a jewish area, with its yeshiva and schools and lots of hebrew lettering everywhere, i almost bumped into somebody and had to swallow an "excuse me" in hebrew :P

so the man at the rental agency had bad news for me, the company raises its prices for the holidays beginning this weekend. but boy, what an interesting man! he's a muslim indian with the most interestingly healthy views on life, the universe and everything, he's well educated and well-travelled, and has some fascinating stories to tell about the different communities living in montreal. not least of which was hearing his skinny on the jewish communities, and hearing him on the phone asking if his customer wanted to daven first and then come pick up the car amused me no end.

we talked for a long time, getting along like a house on fire and neither of us with anything much better to do. eventually, when i left, he offered to try to help me out if possible. nice!

as i walked into the metro saiko-pod tron came on and put a big smile on my face and a bounce in my step. the mood has remained. i don't want it to go away ^_^

when i got home i used the generic car rental site to reserve a car from alamo, deciding to abuse their no-risk cancellation policy by finding out later whether or not the car has enough space for our snow gear.

i spoke to aota for a bit, and was informed that megaman's last day was nigh. her description of the current state of things makes it sounds like a good time to ask for my job back. it's merely a question of tact...

i headed out to boxing, the short jog in the snow had me out of breath but then i managed my longest set ever with the jump rope! my arms hurt a little but boy, was i feeling good about myself :)
i finally understand shadowboxing, and that i've been doing it wrong all this time. when you begin it's about technique, but once you have that down (more or less) it becomes about visualizing your opponent and their moves. that's tough to learn!
it was a good class and badger and i followed it up with excitingly good drills. aside from cutting my toe on something (a callous, though, so it's tender but it didn't bleed) and a bit of pain in my ankle from checking, my knuckles were hurting on each punch - it seems like i've worn through the padding on my gloves. they're really good gloves, so it's kinda surprising (and very disappointing) that they're wearing out after eight months even if i have been using them every weekday and for all the activities. i'm going have to see if there's some kind of warranty, but i doubt it.

the bruise has finally begun to go down! it's left an interesting outline and a sensitive and almost egg-sized lump has been revealed. hmmm.

i watched the men who stare at goats to re-rate it because i'd missed some of it the first time. i didn't criticize it very well, then - it's a good movie, but it has a definitive slant whereas the book smells of journalistic integrity. they also focus on so little in order to provide narrative that you don't get to see any of the really crazy and incredible stuff!

oh, that reminds me - correction: what we saw on monday night was an advanced screening, not a premiere. did they care if we applauded or not?

---today:

some more manual mega-snoozing.
*sigh*
pg contacted me to remind me that the israeli tax authority is after me - which is completely ridiculous. so i know what i'll be doing at stupid o' clock on sunday morning :(

i picked up my ski jacket and am pleased to report that they did a fantastic job!

my body felt oddly stiff and i walked a lot slower to the metro than i'd have liked. i found alamo without too much trouble and the woman behind the counter was a pleasure to deal with; she tells me that if we can't find a car on saturday that fits our equipment we can cancel with no charge. nice!

i was on my way to eat when i walked past the cinema. and the hobbit was playing. and i thought to myself "why fight the inevitable?"
and i bought a ticket. and had a delicious tofu lunch (i love it when fast food gets tofu right!). and i watched the movie.

*SPOILER ALERT* [highlight the following text to read it]
peter jackson has turned one of everyone's favourite books into a disney ride. it was marvelously entertaining, but beneath it all lay the disquieting sensation of over-commercialization. it's not as bad as the matrix trilogy, of which i couldn't bear to watch the third installment: i'll watch the third the hobbit. but i'm going to re-read the book, too, and i know i'll enjoy the book more.
*SPOILER ALERT*

i wanted to buy a gift card into which i'm going to insert money for the cleaning lady. gift cards are stupidly expensive. like, cost-of-a-meal expensive [fellow south africans: R100]. like, it will constitute a sixth of the total cost of the gift i'm giving. and it's so hard to find an appropriate one! the gift card holders are just tacky.

i got home and spent an hour or so on the phone checking auto-insurance, mobile / internet bills and planning saturday's rental. everything was a breeze!

i spoke to aota, who i'm going to meet tomorrow - she had to fire newk'd today. even though we know it's good for him in the long run, it's not a nice thing for her of all people to have to do.

jiu-jitsu; i didn't totally suck! i joined the beast and a large, powerful spanish guy, and i managed to get most of the steps right ^_^
i didn't do amazingly well with the kickboxing afterwards, but i finished feeling really good: my breathing was *much* better. i hope this is me recovering!

i almost went out for dinner, then remembered that i'd eaten out for lunch and i had perfectly good frozen meals in the freezer. so i did that instead.

online dating:

1) a positive interaction seems to have gone sour after i was asked to elaborate on the current political situation in south africa and i complied. i should save the diatribes for face-to-face encounters, i think.

2) the site is supposed to show me local matches only, not long distance! i'm currently enthusiastically engaging an attractive woman who lives in los angeles. and she's talking about one of us visiting the other after i invited her out without realizing she's far away...

chemical balancing

how very odd. i went on two dates this week, both of them with very attractive girls. the first was better looking in a conventional way, the second in an unconventional way, and they were both great fun to spend time with. but while the first girl left me feeling lukewarm, the second has properly captured my imagination - i haven't stopped thinking about her since we parted yesterday afternoon! and the funny thing about that is i don't even have her phone number, we arranged everything using the dating service's messaging system.

was the enthusiasm she showed for a second date for real?

---
tuesday:

i received a tip from my developer who was fired the day after i was and contacted a guy with a very cool start-up that's just received second-round funding. his excitement to learn about me and my experience was audible over the phone, and turned to heavy disappointment when i explained to him that i won't be able to work while waiting for the permit to arrive...

... there really should be some kind of interim permit, you know? just saying.

---a week earlier i'd received a bunch of envelopes from my bank, and after flipping through them i understood that i'd have to send in a consent form before receiving my new credit card. whoops! as i finally sat down to handle that, i noticed that they had actually sent the card! it was just hidden well :P
so i activated the card, absent-mindedly signed the consent form, scratched out my signature on the date column and signed in the correct place, then folded the paper and tried to insert it into the pre-paid envelope i received it with. which was entirely the wrong shape, so i had to perform a complicated little series of folds so i could jam it in. wtf?

---k-twang had met my mother for lunch the day before, and reported that she was looking amazing - mom, if you're reading this, you have no idea how pleased i am to hear this ^_^

---after good french practice, i watched the first season finale of once upon a time..., which was fun. my enthusiasm had been curbed a little by warnings of shitty writing in the season to come... i've now watched a couple of those, and while it's not of the same caliber it's also not so bad either.

i met horseman at la pantere verte, and we left for an open-mic night when a friend of his joined us. cool place (though i don't recall the name), the first set was really groovy music! i find it weird, though it was cool, that all those who performed got up and did so while the musicians were still playing. while the effect was excellent, it made it very hard to concentrate on the actual words... although in one case, after a couple of pieces that one girl did it became clear that this wasn't necessarily a bad thing. her performance was great, to be fair, but not so much the content...

the second set's music felt soulless even though it was the same guys! they were playing a style that didn't suit them, i guess. we left early.

---wednesday:

i went straight to bed, and woke up with horrible night sweats in the middle of the night. it was really unpleasant. it's happened every night since (although i think it's already a little better now that i'm off the antibiotics), it's a yucky feeling and even after showering i just haven't been able to get back to sleep properly. so i've been a little tired of late :(

dream: on the beach, a surprising high tide wipes out our phones. we take shelter, where a coy cute girl makes advances and becomes decidedly less attractive the more affectionate we become.

the morning tristar session with vfmp was good, though it was even tougher breathing than usual. and i managed to hurt my back again: it's becoming normal, i guess at whichever point i "get used to it" my muscles will simply have been strengthened appropriately.

oh! the really sexy kickboxer who i'd seen the week before? the smile she flashed at me as she passed me going into the octagon tells me that she got the message i sent her :) [awkwardness over!]

i had a quick shower before the cleaning lady arrived, then headed downtown for a disappointing lunch that was at least a good opportunity to bone up on bone before the french conversation. takeaway from the afternoon: i need to work harder on my french. i've actually - finally! - started focusing on duolingo, which is amazing if you actually use it, and in addition to the girl i met yesterday pushing my buttons she's francophone and for a lot of the time spoke in french, which is perfect for me :)

i ran some errands and returned to a clean apartment (yay!), rested a bit and played some tekken before going to boxing. the boxing class was good, one of the highlights being body-sparring again with the girl who made me feel shit about doing that, this time not only managing to find my targets in spite of her chest but also coming out on top. i have evolved!

"could you please show me how to dislocate my shoulders to punch?" was not the question i'd meant to ask our instructor, but those were the words that came out anyway.
"what?! why the hell would you want to do that?"
i looked at him sheepishly.
"umm, that's not what i meant - "
"oh, you mean 'pop' your shoulders. alright."
...
"so it's like dancing?"
"exactly."

---after a quick shower i felt that the skin on my chest and back were irritated. just in case anyone forgot that i'm a hypochondriac, and that i'm perpetually worried about picking up ringworm from the gym, i wasn't happy but i couldn't tell if it was anything serious or not.

---i hurriedly ate and left for my date without any protein bars on me - how irresponsible! anyway, i was pleasantly surprised to find that the iranian girl with the dodgy profile picture is beautiful, and time flew while we talked. suddenly it was really late and i was on track to miss the last metro home, so we rushed out, she walked me most of the way to the station and i made it *just* in time.

---thursday:

the night was slightly better, but i was still exhausted and had trouble not sleeping in the dentist's chair. i think he likes me as much as i like him: i'm not sure i'll be going back there again. i hope my teeth are good enough now to last me a while without treatment.

i headed off to mcgill afterwards, with my mouth still anesthetized, to have a chat with the graduate adviser. she seemed nice, but it appears that the university would not be very accommodating regarding my history and i'd essentially have to do their entire master's degree from scratch. not that that would be a terrible thing, mind, but it would be nice to get more than one or two course credits when i've already done more seminars than i'd need.

i can't believe i didn't think to ask them about their phd program! i can't believe that there's a part of me that thinks that that's a serious option.

after a quick lunch i fell into the deepest sleep from which waking up seemed practically impossible. i was woken by a message from my french partner and pretty much sleepwalked downtown. we had a good chat nonetheless, after which i returned for a bit more rest. i sent a nice message to the previous night's date and got a nice one back. i think that's as far as that's going.

jiu-jitsu: i'd spoken to the beast and informed him that i wouldn't be getting back into the ring with him anytime soon, but that doesn't mean i won't partner with him for jiu-jitsu. how he managed to fall on my face during a transition and later knee me (softly, at least) in the head astounded both of us, he was very embarrassed and he eventually made a point of doing all the moves really slowly. after that everything was fine - from his side. from mine, i just couldn't get a handle on things and when firas asked us if anyone had any questions i had so many that there was no way i was going to raise my hand :$

my confidence was blown, and i didn't want to roll afterwards but the kid who usually demotivates me made me feel bad about saying no, so i acquiesced. after a short struggle he had my back, but i managed (somehow) to hip escape and the next thing i knew i was throwing a leg over and had him in full mount! he was almost as surprised as i was, and i suddenly felt much better about myself.

badger was working privately with someone in the octagon and i asked if i could join them for drills; she was only to happy to oblige, and we spent the next hour or so working on counters, stepping with strikes and spinning out. it was AWESOME. and i learned a new punch, the short cross, which is now my favourite :)

when i said goodnight to the kickboxing instructor one of the girls, who's studying to be a yogi, told me she'd figured out which exercises would be best for me for leg flexibility and spent about ten minutes running through them. very cool!

...

the previous night's skin irritation had gotten much worse. i was most unimpressed.

i did plenty of duolingo exercises, then went to bed.

---friday:

the rash was worsening, and i decided that it was time to see a professional. before that, though, the fire alarm went off while i was on the can and that is *not* good timing! it was a false alarm, too, which made it so much worse :(
the only positive thing that came out of that was getting an opportunity to pay january's rent before it gets uncomfortably hurried (or i forget), so my holiday is now pretty much all sorted out :D

i decided to try asking a pharmacist first. i walked all the way there thinking about what i'd say, arrived, and decided that i am far too uncomfortable with that. i couldn't figure out how to approach the subject, and there's not even a vague sense of privacy. so i walked all the way back to the metro and headed to the clinic. i had to wait for ages - as always - and i slept much better sitting in their chairs than i have been in bed. the doctor who saw me was fascinatingly maternal in her care, she was really kind and quite patient too.

so... guess who's developed an allergy to penicillin? that's right!

i am NOT impressed. but at least that explains all the week's discomfort.

...

i was going to have lunch at subway. ordering in french has become a goal of mine, and i'm *almost* ready! at least now i've overheard someone else say "douze pouces" :P
the guy behind the counter didn't hear me say falafel, and took out the bread and cut it before asking again. they were out of falafel. that kinda sucked for both of us.

so instead i messaged aota and newk'd and asked if they'd like to lunch, newk'd wasn't available but aota joined me at the "usual" indian restaurant. it was really good as always :)

on the way back she shouted something at me that made me smile: "stop saying that you were fired! nobody wanted to fire you, if you hadn't forced <the cto>'s hand you'd still be here. you resigned, and you got a decent severance package anyway."

i didn't have a lot of time for anything other than going early to the location of the second date; i hadn't thought to look it up on a map and so i stopped at the jean talon station to do that before switching lines. that turned out to be an excellent idea, because it was a five minute walk from there and not downtown like i'd thought...

the date was great, as i said at the beginning of the post, she's disarmingly charming and when we parted i had a spring in my step.

i returned home and would have been getting ready for boxing if i hadn't suddenly developed an inexplicable headache; i rested for a few hours until vfmp messaged me to invite me to gaming night. my mission: to bring a female green pepper. i included that in my regular shopping, had a quick shower to counter the fact that i was overheating again (what the hell?) and then headed over.

it was a night of ye olde nintendo games, great dinner and carcassonne. vfmp's ultra-competitive brother was really bitter when i coerced vfmp to shut down one of his farmers; he won anyway and it was all supposed to be in good spirits, but he managed to make us feel bad about it :(

lesson for the night: stm's schedules are just fine, it's the damned "transit" app that's screwy! i left too late to make the metro and had to shuffle around in the cold until an unoccupied taxi eventually came my way.

rocked out - part i

right, i'm entirely unmotivated to do anything at the moment. including post. or read. or watch something. it might be related to the headache and exhaustion i've been nursing that may or may not be indications that i received a minor concussion yesterday during sparring.

---monday night:

i finally tried out the stanley parable demo, which is as clever as it is uninteresting to me. it has left me with absolutely no idea what the game is conceptually and so i'm uninterested in spending cash to find out. if it's that hard to present, why not simply make it free and then charge in-game to continue after a certain amount of gameplay?

things got exceptionally meta when my battery died as i approached the "exit the demo" area for the second time, when i plugged in my computer and continued it stop-started for a bit and then locked up. i can't tell if that's a bug or intentional, which i guess sums up the experience quite well.

---it was late enough for me to call my apartment insurance company, but they weren't answering their phones and they don't call back internationally. i sent a desperate email, which got a response about two days later to say that they'd already cancelled the insurance. thanks for letting me know!

now to repeat the experience for my life insurance :(
[oooh! great idea! FML-insurance :) ]

---tuesday:

i was unable to wake up, even for the dentist when i was already in his chair. he explained to me, looking very awkward and uncomfortable the entire time, that the army filling appears to have caused a crack and that any pressure on the connected cusp is transferred to the nerve that's already walled in by (calcium?). he need to bring out the giant model tooth and my x-rays before i kind-of got what he was saying. as a last-ditch effort to avoid root canal surgery, he tried drilling through the cusp to add a buffer filling. i can't say that i understand the logic but he's the dentist, so i gave the okay as i didn't want to uproot the entire nerve.

it only took about two days to be absolutely certain that that didn't work, and now i'm scheduled for the root canal on monday. i'm looking forward to it like... like root canal surgery. i'm now on antibiotics because it's supposed to reduce the nerve inflammation and make the procedure less traumatic, which means that the celebratory weekend (my birthday and sagirl visiting) will not include any drinking :(

and to think that the cause for all this was to correct a minor irritation at not being able to floss properly.

fuck.

---i went home and rested the anesthetic off, spoke to aota (who sounded better than she had on the weekend) and made sure that i'll still be covered for the dental work, then called up yang's contact to verify that he'd received my resume. i got through to his answering machine, and pushed through my discomfort to leave an introductory message. fortunately i received a positive response later on, so that's cool.

i headed downtown for my french chat session, which was good, and then came home to get ready for training. i had time for a quick chat with my mother, who informed me that in the face of his mother's passing my brother's managed to be a complete asshole to his siblings *again*.

*sigh*

---it's SNOWTIME! (said like a mangalore)
properly snowing ^_^

---i was surprised to arrive at the gym to find too many shoes at the entrance, but then i walked in on gsp teaching the class and it turned out i was the only person who didn't know we had a surprise guest instructor coming in. getting personal advice from the dude was way cooler than awkwardly getting out of his way when he's training :P

badger and i were partnered for impact training, which was fun, and we followed that up with excellent sparring drills. i was hurting and tired by the time i got home and i actually needed a cup of tea just to have the energy to make dinner. eating it took forever. during that forever i met a cute girl online and we exchanged numbers, but i think my lack of interest in sms conversations offended her somehow because since saying good night she hasn't answered the phone or responded...

once upon a time's incessantly surprising stories and twists on fairy tales is captivating and wonderful. i'm thoroughly enjoying it!

---wednesday:

i slept really badly, my body was sore and i was overheating. after two nights of that i'm thinking i need to invest in a thinner duvet, last night i struggled with the heat and when i finally got up to crack the window at -10 degrees outside i discovered that it was still open from a few nights before :S

...

waking up in the morning, all three times, was really tough. i trudged through the slush to the gym to meet vfmp to drill jiu-jitsu and sparring, which was pretty good. then i noticed a cute blonde girl sitting on the edge of the octagon, and when we were done - *ahem*, when *i* was done because i couldn't breathe anymore - we walked past and i realized that she was the first girl i sent a message to when i began with online dating! i knew she was into kickboxing, but what are the chances of her training in the same gym as me for the past seven months without our paths crossing?

my gods, she's even sexier in real life. she never responded to that email, though, and i wouldn't dream of harassing her during training. i probably wouldn't have anything to say even if she wasn't.

anyway, i finished my workout with punching bags, weights and the elliptical machine. the last of those is MEAN, man, it's been two days and my legs are still really hurting. i thought i was taking it easy by only doing ten minutes, but i guess ramping up the level to 17 (out of 20) on my first attempt was a bit ambitious.

...

i was soooo tired when i got home, i forced myself to eat lunch and then went back downtown for a good coffee chat. then i went back to the gym.

...

muay thai? i was powered out but we had a good drilling session.
boxing? my body was feeling weak and by the end i was very glad that the beast didn't rock up for our scheduled sparring. i assured the guy i was partnered with that i'd happily spar with him the following evening.

the shower when i got home ended too quickly! i tend to forget that in addition to it being a nice apartment, reasonably priced, close to metro and close to the gym, one of the biggest reasons to put up with the occasional shit is the hot massage-power shower at the end of a cold day of high exertion :)

quick chugging of vitamins, minerals and protein and i hurried out to the pub to meet kgb. i was soooo tired, i love the pub but i had no appetite for the greasy fries i ordered and was surprised when i realized that i'd finished my pint of guinness. it amused me that the one thing that really got my attention was arguing the nature of reality, the technical stuff we'd met to discuss was interesting but kgb didn't have an actual plan, just a super-high-level ideal with nothing to implement and i had to sell my idea because he didn't really get it at first.

i returned home hawking up lung butter and worrying about swollen glands: i don't think it was my glands anymore, i now think it was just very tender muscles :P

i had to do the dishes just to make a protein shake and i was feeling so very lazy. that feeling hasn't gone away yet :P
it was around then that i knew for certain that my tooth was definitely screwed up.

---thursday:

another sweaty night, but better. i got up early and stepped out into a gorgeous, uplifting bright blue and white -9 degrees. i had my first coffee while just listening and trying to understand my study partner's french.

i visited the dentist to make the appointment and was sent off to the pharmacy to begin taking the antibiotics immediately. gods, i hate taking antibiotics and i hate the fact that i've had to take so many courses the last couple of years :(

[continued...]

first french finale - part ii

[... continued]

why does battletoads give me such an intense sense of deja vu??? and what's with the havana nagila soundtrack???

---saturday:

it was too late to comfortably get home so we continued playing and i crashed on the couch. my back and neck were already hurting and vfmp's couch is really, really horrible :(
i had a shitty night and woke up early to take the bus home. when i'd left my place the night before it hadn't been so cold and i knew i wouldn't have to wait long outside so i didn't have a second layer under my jacket, but in the morning the wind came up and the bus was late. i was cold. so cold that i didn't mind the bus being overheated.

the screen in the metro described the air quality as "bonne" with a temperature of -2, i had to smile in spite of my misery.

i showered and crashed, waking up later still feeling exhausted and super slow. after doing some chores i went to the subway for lunch and almost got run over: if you can't keep your attention on driving then don't get behind the wheel! some idiot pulled off from a stop while i was crossing and i had to jump out the way to save my legs. i stopped and stared angrily while her husband / father / whatever gestured frantically at her and she stared expressionlessly straight ahead through her giant dark glasses.

i returned home to continue the week-long fight with the caretaker: why don't i get a functioning toilet? i had guests coming and i'd have to explain to them how to manually fill the tank to flush :$

i don't know why i was being a hero, i got through most of the day without caffeine and it was partially due to that that i was stuck on the couch for a lot of it. i downed a cup of coffee just before horseman arrived and we talked and tekkened for a bit before heading out to walmart - which was closed. so we stopped at wendy's instead.

fcmg, who was going to be bringing the food for the evening, called to cancel at the last minute; when bnw and her husband arrived we agreed to order chinese and that turned out to be a pretty good idea. the night was fun, we watched some invader zim in spanish and then good will hunting, which made me tear up even though it's the third or fourth time i've seen it. i did have a bit too much to drink, though, and i managed to say something to bnw's husband that came out all wrong and might have properly offended him :(

---sunday:

my body was sore and i still had to clothe the bed. that sucked.

...

it was a lazy sunday morning until my doorbell rang and i shot up to let the caretaker in.
"i never work on sundays, but you're right and for you i'll make an exception."
huh. maybe i will give him a christmas present after all.
maybe.

there was something deeply satisfying about successfully cleaning and tidying after the previous night had left my kitchen and living room looking like american college students had had a small party. i headed to aota's to spend the afternoon with her, newk'd and newk'd's girlfriend. and drink coffee, a fair amount of ron abuelo rum and eat aota's crazy delicious version of pad thai.

she was all depressed - and i mean really depressed - and i tried to talk to her about things. we ended up arguing a lot and by the end i was ready to give up on her, she's really in a shitty situation and she doesn't have a lot of options. i kept telling her that she at least needs to be kind to herself but when you're in a rut it's hard to see out. when i got home i sent her a message apologizing for lecturing...

i watched some more once upon a time, did some arbitrary online stuff, contacted some friends and family in london to make arrangements to spend some time with them and started posting. i think i'm about ready to pass out now.

---philosofly - hip-hop homophobia: the sound quality is absolute rubbish, unfortunately, but i suggest trying to hear what he has to say anyway. this is the piece that won the finals for toronto team.

i've almost completed the poem that i've had slow-roasting for the last while. it amazes me how much i've gotten into my own head with it and how much it's changed as i've progressively learned more lines by heart.

i should be posting more - part i

truth be told - as always - i've just been too tired. like really tired, like exhausted to a zombie state. particularly because i'm seriously in need of recovering and instead of resting i've continued to train hard. plus, i strongly suspect that the meds the doc gave me are working but at the cost of weakening my system. tonight's the last night, i believe they've done their job and i should be good to go by the weekend.

on a related note, i was discussing my shortness of breath with an "expert" (my kickboxing instructor) who claims that he's trained with someone who beat his asthma by training hard. quite frankly that makes sense, if i'm not training while sick. and i'm pretty sure i won't make that mistake again.

---forgotten notes from monday:

i suddenly realized i haven't been reading my rss feeds in ages - i have a lot of catching up to do. my first time going through parc station and not being on my way to work felt strange. i have arrived at the conclusion that i'm a windows person. also, that if i have to choose between real privacy (which is a right, not a privilege!) and the convenience that storing all my shit in the cloud provides, i'll go for the latter. it's shameful that the american government has become so un-american regarding freedom and rights, but i'm not going to let paranoia distract me from things i actually care about.

i needed a pre-muay thai nap and i didn't have time for one. i managed anyway. huh.

---tuesday:

oh gods, waking up super early for french classes :(
in theory the decision was to make my afternoons easier and more flexible, but in practice (granted, probably only this week) it's meant returning home and sleeping until hitting the gym :P

watching the puscifer - what is trailer pre-coffee wasn't a good idea. it did get me to purchase a bunch of the project's tracks and get me excited to see what happens.

props to the man on the metro wearing shorts at -3 celcius: that is a statement.

the french class is definitely good for my confidence. it may not be the level i need, but it's a good kick in the pants and the teacher's pretty good at mixing it up and customizing.

i arbed around downtown looking for halloween outfits, ate lunch underground and passed out when i returned home.

---beginner's jiu-jitsu was cancelled... because only two of us showed up and we both passed the exam! LEVEL UP ^_^
my passing the exam was a big achievement considering i had to demonstrate everything on the nightmarishly flexible girl. i definitely earned *my* spot :D

next step: not feeling totally useless on the advanced mats. the two of us were not being amazing, it was only after the class was over that we realized that we both needed to be good with the forward roll. there's something crazy about having firas zahabi himself clapping me on the shoulder and telling me "not to worry, you'll get it".

anyway, i'm not able to tell anyone in the gym that our performance was un-bear-an'-bull because i'd probably get slapped. [the move we were learning is called "bear and bull"]

---kickboxing was satisfying, although i used my right leg which is still healing and while i didn't do anything extreme that still wasn't a good idea :(

i left with a bit of a belly ache but i was desperate for food and hadn't gone shopping; chinese it had to be. i decided that i deserved a celebratory double-dinner and i thoroughly enjoyed it :)
during the feeding frenzy i suddenly broke out in sweat. what the hell?! all i could think of was how strange it was to feel so good and so broken simultaneously.

...

on the way home i wondered at how quickly i've acclimatized to zero. bring on the snow already!

---wednesday:

i dreamed of a successful move to somewhere near ottawa; something very political. then
my mother was driving and the road
follows a cliff with no barrier.
she drives on the edge to scare me
and it works
i freak out and i'm upset telling myself
i will not forget i will not be her passenger again
ahead a missing bridge that we'd need good speed
to clear
but she ups the stakes and brakes
and i woke up as the car plunged into a deep black chasm. what the hell, brain?

second day of classes, still late because i don't get the metro at rush hour even if i did pick a better route. one of the girls arrived after we'd all sat down and with her a smell of... yeast infection? i don't know, but it was a very loud "down there" smell and i surreptitiously kept my nose in my coffee mug as much as i reasonably could.

...

it's strange being teacher's pet.

after class i went straight home to lay about. i watched a lot of kiss of the dragon which i'd remembered enjoying but which made me go "meh". then i got in touch with aota and we sorted out my telephone contract - bell not only made the process simple and painless, but my contract's so good that after we were done aota set herself up on the same deal :)

as a side note, i'm glad that i now officially have a credit rating and it's positive :D

another side note: i have unlimited calls "nation-wide". aota and the representative both laughed out loud when i asked if that means all of canada or just quebec.
"we haven't seceded yet!" said aota.
"not only will you be able to call all of canada, sir, but you'll also be able to call quebec!" quipped the agent.

...

i chatted with pg and i'm very glad that she's doing well. she's enjoying her work and the lifestyle it affords her and she seems happy; we chatted over text and i laughed a lot. even though our breaking up was good for both of us, i do miss her.

---i went to muay thai even though my body was feeling stiff and sore, and during the warm up i developed shin splints. that was really annoying, i proceeded as gently as i could and fortunately the class was a) easy on the legs and b) exactly the class on clinches i'd been waiting for.

surreal misogynistic moment: working with a ridiculously sexy girl and doing a hip throw that involved me thrusting my hip (nothing else, you pervert) into her groin, looking down into her shirt (unintended, but enjoyed) and then throwing her to the mat.

what followed was the unsexiest thing ever: rotating partners to practice all the clinch techniques we'd learned. i've never been so drenched in other people's sweat before and i suffered a lot of chafing around my collar bones and neck - i had to half-shower before boxing (fortunately i'd brought a spare shirt) and i still spent the class worrying about ringworm.

the boxing class was pretty good and ended on a very satisfying note. after a long time talking about it, i finally got to do conditioning with the girl who terrifies everyone: firstly, i can't describe in words how hard she hits. after months of conditioning i'm now pretty damned tough, and even her soft "preparation" shots hurt. her big shots? holy shit! she knocked me down a few times before she decided to be merciful, that decision slightly embarrassing me even while i was grateful for it. one of her shots felt like my liver had touched my left shoulder. it was intense.
then it was my turn, and after a few warm up shots to establish the correct amount of power i caught her with a perfect liver shot... she was hurt, and although everyone (including her) had a good laugh about it i still felt bad.

her usual partner came up afterwards to thank me for giving him a break - i'll happily take over next time too :D

[continued...]

limping - part i

boy, i'm so glad that israeli's on daylight savings time before we are. now i have to stay awake until 2/2.30am in order to contact my insurance company. email is such an amazing invention; wouldn't it be nice if the major institutions and services used it?

---friday:

i'm glad i took elana gomel - a tale of three cities with me to the clinic because i had plenty of time to sit and wait at the nearby coffee shop. the book is fantastic! it's a little like david wong - john dies at the end in a sense, but what fascinates me more than anything is that in our classes with her gomel regularly expressed her dislike of poetry but her fantasy writing is notably full of it :)

my meeting with the doctor lasted all of two minutes and then i returned to prepare for my first muay thai sparring session. on the way to the gym i ran into our instructor and we talked all the way there - he's from the caribbean, he wasn't impressed with me when i shared how excited i was about winter coming :P

the nice thing about becoming a regular is that when he discovered that i don't know the clinch he told me we'll learn it in the next lesson :)

---thoughts after my first muay thai sparring session, just when i thought i'd recovered from wednesday's class:

1. it amuses me that the word "clinic" keeps popping into my head (it's joe rogan's fault) when unlike a medical one this type leaves me considerably less healthy and able when it's over. i lost the use of my right leg early on...

2. i'm not sure if the look of excitement and expectation on the scary dude's face when he invited me to a round is what's making me giggle because he looked like he thought he'd have some competition, or if i'm laughing as a response to the trauma of being properly beaten, manhandled and clinched and thrown rather roughly to the floor... repeatedly.

3. the "no whining" sign in the gym is messing with my mojo.

4. i hope my leg heals quickly because that was AWESOME.

---after training i hurriedly ate and then went to vfmp's to play thunderstone: my leg really hurt and i was properly limping. i had to stop and stretch forward every now and again just to carry on...

it was cold out but the bus was excessively heated to the point where i was sweating even though i'd removed my jacket. what is it with these people?! it's like winter is actually sauna season.

vfmp's boyfriend is a huge fan of nin - hesitation marks and had that and pretty hate machine playing in a loop the entire night. and it wasn't bad at all :)

---saturday:

i returned home happy because it's now sweater-and-jacket weather :)
i was famished pre-sleep, so i sat and read for a bit while snacking.

i don't know why i woke up early, but i'd missed tilt's message from the night before and was glad that she agreed to meet me anyway. i was dead tired but i limped over to the starbucks, got a large coffee and sat down with her. we proceeded to talk non-stop for the next two and a half hours! at the end i told her how i was feeling and she said she understood and we discussed it awkwardly for a few minutes. then we parted company and that was the end of it.

i headed to the further supermarket and was walking a little better on my foot - i'm rather impressed by how effective using ice was! for once, i not only remembered to use it while eating but i kept it on both sides of my leg for most of the gaming session as well.

---i picked up my prescription at the pharmacy on my way home, and it was pretty expensive. it was only when i got home and took a look at everything that i realized that the doctor had prescribed me a hardcore laxative and fibre supplements: wtf?! that has nothing to do with what's ailing me and i'm a vegan, i consume so much fibre that if i use either of them i'll probably shit myself to death :P

i went back this morning to return them and they told me that once something leaves the counter they cannot take it back... but as it was all sealed and neither of the items were really prescription they were kind enough to make an exception.

---i had a quick subway lunch and paid godmother a visit, then returned home for a nap because i was way too tired to do anything else. oddly enough, once i got home i wasn't so tired and aside from a very short nap i watched the usual suspects instead. i'm not sure if i've seen the whole movie before, either way i enjoyed it immensely.
otherwise it was an early night preceded by doing laundry and limping to the supermarket and back in the rain. i'd much rather it was snowing :/

...

i know it's a bit chilly outside, but why is the building's heating set to "furnace"?! i not only have to open the windows, but at one point it was so hot that i had to open the balcony door as well :S

---sunday:

i began the day with the pharmacy visit and a fair amount of reading. in the early afternoon i paid aota a visit as she was feeling despondent. she originally was so miserable that she didn't want me to come over at all but eventually she relented and within a minute of entering her apartment i had her in hysterics and smiling. as i told her, i'm like a clown psychologist :P
we talked for a while and she instructed me to a fantastic cous-cous and bean salad. it's a *lot* easier for me to prepare than quinoa.

i hadn't been able to contact bnw all day but decided to risk rocking up anyway - fortunately i arrived an hour later than i'd thought we'd agreed and fifteen minutes after she and her husband had returned home. we talked briefly and then discussed the comics: the first page is looking really good and we've established that i need to handle the written script myself, meaning that i need to go out and buy a good pen and then figure out how i'm going to mix my personal handwriting with that of the character's. an important part of this project is embedding ourselves into it and this is an excellent way to do that :)

[continued...]

unemployment stasis - part ii

[... continued]

i'd been planning on sparring but i was completely broken. i had a hot bath which helped a little, had a long chat with aota in which i heard that everyone's miserable without me and that megaman is properly making a fool of himself - i'm very glad my final memo didn't include what i thought of him, because i've now heard that the ceo is describing him in precisely the terms i wanted to use. good. they know.

it's finally cold enough to wear my new under armour storm hoodie! it's beautiful and wearing it makes me feel like i'm making a statement :P
i've even had to break out my mittens. winter's coming!!!

---thursday:

i had drinks with tilt and stayed over at her place because it was really late. after a long night on an uncomfortable bed we left with my feeling pretty conflicted. this sucks, because i really like her and i don't want to mess her around. we shared a crisp, sunny montreal morning stroll to the metro: there's little more awkward than waiting on opposite sides of the tracks :P

i got home feeling absolutely exhausted, and didn't feel much better even after a nap. i finally went to subway for a surprisingly crappy sandwich then came here to starbucks to write this (i've exceeded my monthly 90gb internet limit!), ran into a guy i used to work with who seemed excited to talk to me about projects now that i'm unemployed, and am now off to a doctor's appointment that i've been putting off for about half a year.

slowdown

the psychological space i'm in is a little warped by the fact that i'm no longer employed. on tuesday i went in to the office and was greeted by silence - the cfo (who is formally hr as well) didn't interpret the cto's email as firing me and megaman certainly wasn't looking forward to chatting. after sitting with the cfo and aota for a bit we established the chain of events and i explained my take on everything - everything - and i was told to take the day off and wait to be contacted in the morning.

i finished up something that cheshire cat lady needed help with and left, on my way out passing darn and his crew - it looks like the new hire is just as much a plant as the rest of them. that probably requires a bit of explanation, but sod it.

i woke up late yesterday morning and pleasurably relaxed about it, but spent the day not doing anything as the hours flitted by and i wasn't called in. in the late afternoon i finally received an email telling me to come in this morning, but then later received an update saying 3pm.

the good news from the rumour-mill is that they're not going to be dicks about this - apparently everyone (except megaman) would like us to end our relationship on good terms.

---tuesday:

the tone of my morning changed considerably when i received a response to my midnight memo informing me that my position is appreciated and that so is my professionalism under the circumstances. that was quite uplifting coming from someone who'd just sent me an "i have nothing left to say" mail. i'm very glad i removed the parts of the memo in which i described megaman as incompetent and lacking integrity.

on the metro home i was with two of the guys who're supposed to fight tomorrow night, but unfortunately one of them scored a concussion sparring so he's out... what a bummer :(

it took me tuesday and wednesday to get my netbook running ubuntu into a usable state, with a little help from nystire and advice from overclocker. nystire took the opportunity to inform me that the big air force project that the two of us worked on together has been solely attributed to captain incompetent and our names dropped entirely, along with that of the systems engineer we collaborated with. to add injury to insult, captain incompetent will be getting a significant salary increase because of this.

not impressed.

i finished watching indie game: the movie and i have to say that it's not only entertaining but a bit inspirational as well. i think it does a good job of contrasting the attitudes of its subjects.

after a round of planning follow-up dates and a couple of phone calls, i figure it's time to come up with a nickname for the girl i'm seeing - is that premature? i hope not. turns out all the obvious ones were pigeonholing, so i arrived at "tilt" which is part secretive acronym and part how she makes me feel :P

---speaking of phone calls: i'm very glad that my mother's self-aware enough to recognize when she's overdoing the concerned mother thing :)

it's funny, but everyone seems concerned for me - which is very nice, don't get me wrong - and meanwhile i'm feeling pretty good about a horrible situation finally being resolved. and about having some me-time!!! gods how i need this. i've even been making time for duolingo.

---as i had plenty of tuesday left, i went to the gym early. aside from half an hour resting during which i discovered that due to metric / imperial system confusion i've actually been consuming about half of the protein i need (0.8g per POUND. why would they mix systems like that?!), i trained hard for about five hours and i'm still very tender two days later. okay, maybe doing solid boxing while still tender exacerbated things.

regardless, my jiu-jitsu is much improved after i worked with that super-flexible girl again, it's so much harder to submit her that once you "get" it submitting normal people is a cinch. kickboxing was decent, but my chest has been feeling tight for the last week and i'm not sure i'm getting enough oxygen... resting or training...

i watched marc maron - thinky pain over a delicious salad (seriously, how am i doing this?!) and it's difficult to call what he does an act. some of it's hysterical, but most of it is touchingly honest and i was less amused than empathetic.

---yesterday:

tender shins and tender muscles. in particular my upper / middle back muscles - i really need to focus on those.

i watched a fair amount of ufc while upgrading my netbook, including the silva / weidman fight which was disappointing even though it had been spoiled already.

there's nothing like the struggle of heavy shopping to make you feel like your boxing class was a success. we did conditioning at the end, and i was working with a guy who's pretty solid. after a few seconds i heard the instructor yell at me: "what is that? i wanna see a proper liver shot!"

so i obliged. and my poor partner crumpled :D
i didn't feel too bad, though, because i was up next.

another excellent salad and some more ufc, then vfmp came over for some tekken; he won the final battle, at least... i'm not sure how to encourage him without seeming condescending.

---i may have teared up a little at this wedding proposal. in case you're wondering why i'm sharing.

the gselevator guide to being a man (thanks, airplane) is pretty solid. and fun to read.

consequential

i definitely didn't sleep enough last night, but that's not the real issue. the real issue is that aota convinced me to try a tim horton's donut this morning and in a twisted turn of fate it was filled with custard. i *LOVE* custard! and i'm allergic to dairy. i couldn't help myself and i ate a couple of bites before finally binning it, but by then the damage was done and a couple of hours later my body began to crash in a way it hasn't done since the last time i overdid dairy. i don't remember when that was.

dear mr. horton.

i am trying to immigrate to canada, and unfortunately there's one aspect of life here that i cannot fully participate in: eating your doughnuts! i would be exceedingly grateful if you could produce a vegan-friendly doughnut. just one type, it's all i ask.

yours faithfully...

i had a short (but heavenly) nap before training and between that and the energy drink i was mostly on form. which reminds me that i haven't stopped thinking about the conversation i had with ceh in the afternoon about caffeine addiction and its effects on the brain. i wish i could drop it "cold turkey" but i well remember what happened last time i did that (in 2001)... two weeks of non-stop migraines? no thanks. perhaps if i lose my job.

---speaking of which, as i mentioned yesterday i interviewed a potential replacement this morning. the interview was going spectacularly well and i was rating him an A before the technical question. as the first interviewee to start with an iterative solution to our "big" problem he had me convinced that this was going well, but then he stumbled. stumbling brought him down to an A- or a B+ in my book, only after stumbling he just gave up and even though megaman continued to push him* he just couldn't dust himself off and get back on the horse. i was sorely disappointed.

* courtesy, i guess, because the dude had come all the way from ottawa just to see us

i had lunch with megaman - let's not discuss how odd that was - and he shared the same view. what was interesting to hear is that he won't pick someone for the job unless they're strong enough to earn the team's trust immediately. he's still kinda looking for me to step up and save the day but the more he describes the role the more i realize that i'm not the man to take it. perhaps in another environment with different values and less politics, but not in this company with these guys at the helm.

---aota came over to inform me that another month of inexplicable data usage has gone by. it's been decided that my phone is faulty and i'm being sent a replacement... an iphone 5. here's hoping it's in good nick!

speaking of things being nicked, i don't know if it bothers me more that there are dishonest people in my company or that they're so pathetically obvious about it. megaman and his crew with their machinations are so transparent and bloody arrogant about it, like we're all totally stupid and oblivious. but the it guy? he keeps stealing equipment, and his explanations and excuses are so crap it's like he isn't even trying to hide it.

---things i hate today:

1. tortoisesvn for mysterious, non-stop tree conflicts when merging that it would take me ages to figure out... they've overhauled their merging dialog box again. the first option used to be the wrong one, but the second option's new and looks suspiciously like the old second option (which used to be the right one). good ux job, guys. well done.

2. google, whose search results were so useless and irrelevant when looking up perl configuration issues that i resorted to trying bing. which actually did the trick, for once, and i wasn't looking for porn. [i think i'd heard about that before, but creeper did his bit and made sure i knew. he also shouted over the cubicle wall that now that i'm aware of the service i can just start... oh, never mind. it was grossly inappropriate as usual.]

---i left on time for training and was held back by a long sob story from one of my developers... he has sickly pets and a new car that's giving him trouble. it may have been a bit heartless of me, but i explained to him that that's precisely why i don't have pets or a car. pets are an enormous responsibility and you need to be ready for them to need (sometimes very expensive) care and attention. cars are more trouble than they're worth. they're expensive just to own and maintain, you have to worry about parking, snow shovelling and designating a driver if you go out for drinks. it's cheaper to use taxis or rent a car on the odd occasion that actually justifies a personal vehicle.

"but in our culture everyone owns a car!"
"in everyone's culture, that doesn't make it the right thing to do."

i *just* missed the train because of that.

---training was really tough. i learned a lot of important things that i'm going to need to consolidate...

how very interesting: the older woman i worked with a while back (why can't i find the post?) was asking how my work was going, and it turns out she has aerospace connections. this could be good!

what a feeling, to get into a hot bath post-training after a whole day of knowing i'd need it. my back is really hurting and i need to get my muscles functioning again. a few weeks of illness and everything went to hell :(

...

holy crap! it's 11pm and i'm ready for bed! aside from the bit when i'll get up in a couple of hours to deal with the mortgage bank, that's very impressive.

---this complaint to virgin airlines really is brilliant.

...

the dangers of birth control: this is pretty scary. like, holy shit, how have woman been using these things without knowing what's at stake?! like in this world people need another cause for anxiety...