not so much resting or relaxing - part v

[... continued]

---thursday:

thursday was consistently crap, beginning with the electricity being cut when i was mid-shave. at least the water was still running, 'cause that would've been way worse. it was a beautiful morning that was properly soured by bnw's husband posting an ugly piece of anti-zionist propaganda on my wall, and what followed would only be (relatively) resolved much later and only yesterday did something positive come out of the whole thing. i don't need to convince you to love israel, i just need to convince you to avoid media bias and misinformation. more on that later, or some other time.

because my phone wasn't working i wasn't sure if the bank had called me to collect my card, so i went *again* and was disappointed *again*.

---on my way to work i bought a headset because i'd read up on my microphone problems. for the iphone 4 there's really not much you can do about it (i tried cleaning the various mics). i made a call i'd been needing to make, the headset worked perfectly for about five minutes and then *IT* stopped working. wtf?!?!

just then, just after i'd tried calling back three times and resetting with no luck, gd contacted me upset because [okay, i'm going to have to leave this out]. when i called her and she couldn't hear me and that made things worse i flew into a silent, seething rage. i furiously messaged her - messaging is NOT an appropriate medium for furious communications - and then told my boss i needed a couple of hours to get myself a new phone. i was originally going to head downtown to the apple store, but he sagely pointed out the bell office across the road.

score!

i walked in, silently suffered the salesman's manipulations and examined my options*. i finally walked out with a two year contract that costs $5 more (for an extra 2gb of data), a two year warranty that includes water damage (i've learned my lesson) and a shiny green iphone 5c.

* there weren't many, really. and i was a little annoyed about aota having taken a new phone with my current contract and leaving me with a refurb, but later i'd remember that the company was paying my phone bills so we're definitely square.

...

örmagörd: in the two days that i've had it, i've realized just how much poorer my quality of life was for the bad performance and utterly shite connectivity of my previous phone. perhaps naming it gir was looking for trouble? the new one is subject b.o.b. and his cover, which is on its way, is a scanner from the purchase menu :D

of course, as i called gd on my way back to the office it started raining. #$@!#$#@$%%!
and she was working, so she was annoyed because she thought it was a pocket dial.

i spoke to my mum quickly, and for that i needed the headset i'd bought in the morning so at least it wasn't a complete waste. i felt a little awkward when i remembered that i was using the corporate network for a personal call, but i don't know why that should bother me.

later, when i got home, i'd be intensely grateful that itunes restores backups so beautifully. it's an absolute blessing!

---i stayed really late to make up the hours, switching from phpstorm to enide because the former is incredibly annoying to use. the latter's just like any flavour of eclipse, only it can't perform a proper search through javascript code. i don't know how that got through, so now i don't know which ide to use and i'm fairly close to reverting to a combination of notepad++ and vi. that should tell you everything you need to know about the current state of tools available for software development.

...

i briefly logged in to crunchyroll when i got home. i love what they've got, even if their selection is rather limited, but it bothers me that they don't have dubbed versions available. i prefer subs myself, but for gd it's too much of a strain :(

i spent the night doing organizing things and finding and customizing images for my phone. its appearance is important to me. it looks really cool now and with the cover it's going to be magnificent!

---friday:

i woke up from crazy dreams. my notes from those dreams were: houseboat saving a book, making servants' lives difficult, conflict in israel over three celebrities posing together, mom pointing them out but i didn't understand

i woke up to see that protoplasm had been to a wolfmother concert. i'm pretty damned jealous. and my music collection's only getting larger as the salaried weeks go by :P
speaking of which, i've just discovered google play music, so gd and i can shared my itunes music library. AWESOME!
well played, google. well played.

[continued...]

not so much resting or relaxing - part iii

[... continued]
on my way to meet wire for drinks i ran into vector, who convinced me that things were happening; i haven't heard from him since :/

wire and i sat for a while over beers, and he gave me the last of the cash i'd loaned him. it was more symbolic than anything, i'm really pleased that he's properly on his feet again! we enjoyed a stout called pretty bastard that's brewed in bromont and is pretty darned good.

i came home to indian takeout. i discovered that gd is definitely *not* into science fiction, so i guess battlestar galactica is just for me...

... we watched a few episodes of the boondocks and then went to bed.

---last sunday:

during a chat with my mother i learned that she's unhappy with her iphone, for very different reasons from those that i'm unhappy with mine for. i decided that when i get there in december i'd buy hers off her - these things are *expensive* for south africans...

after going through our feeds gd asserted that i have a responsibility to make a short video explaining the israel / gaza conflict. i guess i kind of do? but i need to invest a lot of energy into something like that, so the scribbling i've done since doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast :(
in the meanwhile, there's pat condell. his piece on hypocrisy over gaza does a fairly good job of covering the bases and its description contains a ton of links to important sources just in case you're not convinced of the veracity of his sentiments.

i went on a quick mission to popeye's for powder, gd and i visited aubut for some shopping, i wolfed down a leftover lunch and then we waited for bnw and her husband to arrive. we'd packed enough stuff to go camping, they arrived with an empty car.

the two hour drive there through the beautiful countryside with good music and plenty of munchies was nice. after we arrived, had beers and met up with another couple we all went on a pretty hike that included farm animals. we returned, waited for ages in line and eventually entered coaticook gorge.

bnw's attitude when we began irritated gd (and me too, but i ignored it) and she then did something that was childish and offensive that threatened to ruin our evening. i like bnw and her husband, they're good people and we share a lot of common interests, but i harbour no illusions about their maturity or reliability. i was really glad that afterwards everyone behaved well regardless and we enjoyed the walk immensely! the light show is incredible and the gorge is stunning with or without it.

we'd planned to leave at 11pm and i was shocked when i looked at my watch and saw that that's precisely when we left! the ride back was uncomfortable due to my suffering from rls, and gd's neck and butt weren't too comfortable either.

---monday:

i woke from a dream in which i'd been disguised as an ultra-orthodox jewish shipbuilder to escape a naval base but had been caught. it was a rainy monday morning and i was warm and cosy under the blanket, so getting up kinda sucked.

first fail of the day: showing the team lead something and having an alert pop up asking for my password. i clicked on it and typed away, and felt really stupid when he told me he could see my password: i looked up and saw that the keyboard focus had magically switched to a different app :$

an examination under the hood of javascript feels like stepping through the looking glass.

big junior and i received a mandate to redesign the streaming solution we're working on and a briefing on the political context in which we're operating. the design's been fun to produce and suggests exciting possibilities to come!

after a long day i found myself in the same metro car as one of our designers. he's a nice guy but riding with him was awkward and we were together for almost half an hour :/

[continued...]

regression: protective edge media update

i guess this fighting's not ending anytime soon, and it's paining me to see friends getting sucked into it. i responded to a post of bnw's before going to bed and then found myself awake in the middle of the night worrying about fighting with strangers on her wall. so i deleted the comment, sent it privately and began this post instead.

...

you don't believe the jews? well, here's a lebanese woman who's seen it all. if you don't speak hebrew, almost everything she says is in english. she's the same brigitte gabriel who spoke at duke university many years ago.

here're some interesting and disturbing articles from un watch:

• a palestinian speaks frankly about international law and human rights
• some foreign journalists in gaza are seeing things
• the un shouldn't be returning weapons to terrorists
• and it certainly shouldn't be ignoring a wave of anti-semitism sparked by the media war on israel

this article speculating on the media focus on gaza contains a lot of food for thought, but the conclusion leaves me wondering why nobody gives a damn about darfur.

---an argument with someone i went to school with who's completely lost the plot has proved to be most informative: i had no idea netanyahu has been lying to everyone (again, but on a different issue) nor that attitudes appear to be growing bleaker. that nobody has faith in obama is unsurprising, but the rest of the stats paint a picture that means something.

to let be, or not to let be

i just got off the phone with bnw, it turns out that for the past week and a half she's had no internet access from home and her telephone was bust. and this was precisely when she and her husband were experiencing severe marital troubles and they thought that everything was falling apart.

so apparently that's over and she'd like to be on the project. i spoke to her just after hearing from ff for the first time since the meeting, who also had a busy week.

i'm going to give everyone another week to make some more progress, because the past few days have been quiet, and if things don't leap forward then i'll consider reinstating bnw, but with a test-run first. otherwise, i'll put her on the second issue.

...

why can't everything just be simple and straightforward?

looking back - part i

(last week) wednesday:

of course it was chilly and wet when i rushed out of starbucks to join gd in looking at some apartments. we saw three really nice ones, then returned to my apartment for my meeting with the illustrators.

i'd set the meeting up based on bnw's availability, so i was really angry when she messaged me to say that she wouldn't be coming because she'd already made another "more important" plan. i've realized since that trying to work with her is a mistake, and it's better that we just stick to being friends.

otherwise, the meeting was great! we came up with a good plan and we all seem to be on the same page.

...

i apparently wasn't feeling well at all on wednesday night.

---(last week) thursday:

after a good, late sleep, i woke up to a video chat wherein i was introduced to a friend of gd's who's a bit of a recluse and a total conspiracy theorist. nice guy, but a little out there...

i put together the infrastructure for our comic collaboration, then went to look at a beautiful, far-too-expensive apartment next door to gd's. gd and i had an argument on the way back, ff kept rescheduling our meeting and i was already stressing about the looming weekend, so i was irritable and frustrated and incapable of coherent thought for a while.

i decided to try taking a nap, and i did feel a bit better afterwards.

i called up my building manager and was totally disappointed by how callous they are towards good tenants who need to leave before their leases are up :S

it was miserable and tense and hot and rainy when i left to meet with ff, and two stops before hers - about 100m or so before the second stop before hers - our train ground to a halt and we'd be forced to evacuate the metro.

seriously, if you're going to evacuate? DO IT QUICKLY. we were stuck in our dark, hot cars for about ten or fifteen minutes, which gets pretty claustrophobic when everyone's impatient and it's hard to breathe. even harder when some idiot farts. they evacuated from back to front, so we got to witness a line of smartphones lumbering past, filming the rest of us as if we were a zoo exhibit.

i stepped out into the pouring rain with no sense of direction, and eventually sat down in the subway across from the metro and waited for ff to bus it.

our meeting was good, she was happy with what we'd all agreed upon the previous night, and her sketches were excellent! we didn't need to sit for too long to cover everything, and then she was off and i returned to pick up gd from her gym.

i went back to my apartment for dinner and to sort out some papers. gd was on her way home from shopping and we were talking about something on the phone when the scariest thing happened: mid-sentence, i heard her suddenly gasp and then the call dropped. it would take a minute before i could get hold of her again and she'd inform me that she'd simply dropped a whole bunch of things, including her phone, but i was imagining the worst and that was terrible :(

the slam team was meeting at casa del popolo, and the weather was cool and cloudy and dark; with no wind it would have been perfect! it was too loud there, so we went to halogen's instead and our first meeting was quite enjoyable.

---(last week) friday:

i arrived home late, and went to bed early in order to be ready to pick up supertongue at 6.40am for a wild weekend.

of COURSE i'd spend the next few hours suffering from rls, it was a sleepless night and i eventually got up feeling pretty wasted. and walked out into a miserably rainy morning, not quite ready to face the day.

on the offensive - part i

i'm finally sitting down to blog, after three rather full days wherein i've been operating mostly on autopilot. today's been a day for getting stuff done, and i'm planning on finishing this and then heading off to boxing.

---friday:

friday began with a big, important nap after which i spent some time clearing my virtual desk by reading articles i'd had sitting in open tabs for days, weeks and possibly even months. i achieved an important comic script milestone at the starbucks, which i'm really excited about! i'm also excited about the fact that i found an excuse to mention comic illustration to vector and *he* was really excited by the prospect, so we're going to meet soon and see if he likes what i'm planning.

i did some quick shopping and returned through a breathtaking sunset, hurriedly made dinner and tidied up my apartment, successfully finishing just before bnw and her husband arrived. soon after we'd be joined by vfmp and his boyfriend, and we decided to play zombies!!!. what a great game! although it could have been better, i suspect that a couple of the guys were offended a bit by both incompatible playing styles and the tone of my voice when i get into explaining mode.

there's nothing more upsetting than hearing the words "stop yelling" when i haven't raised my voice. i felt like dave in the opening scene of anger management.

at least everyone appeared to find my ocd behaviour amusing.

other uncomfortable moments: not having any food nor any take-out menus for bnw and her husband, who'd arrived hungry. not hearing gd's phone call and making her wait outside after a long day at work. discovering that humm!'s roasted pine nut hummus has cheese in the listed ingredients. that's not mentioned anywhere else, as if it's perfectly normal to put cheese in hummus. it's a brand for which potential allergens like gluten are usually boldly labelled, so that's just weird and offensive. and to make that all worse, i accidentally picked up so delicious' neapolitan, which has strawberry in it and gd's allergic to strawberries.

F#$%.

*and* vfmp's boyfriend's on a highly restrictive diet. i don't get these people, they're always on weird diets instead of just working out and eating well. and they're vegans, they should know better.

---saturday:

we finished what i hoped was an enjoyable game for everyone, and gd and i must have gone to bed around 3am. at 6am she needed to be up to get ready for work and i was so tired that i was incapable of so much as raising my head for another hour or two. i felt bloated after the previous night's junk-food orgy, and barely had time to down a breakfast shake and go meet my yoga instructor in outremont park.

the buses were a bit off schedule but it was a delightfully beautiful morning so there was no place for stress. i walked past groups doing tai chi and yoga, and we set up in a quiet corner and did a really good hour ourselves. the exercises i did were relatively light but very focused on my neck, and i left the park feeling wonderful.

i had a simple plan for the day: purchase a gift card for bnw's husband's birthday, work on my comics and then go to the birthday barbeque. getting the gift card was simple enough, though as i paid for it two things happened. the first was the card reader informing me that i need to pay up on my visa, which freaked me out and i had to call the visa helpline and have them reassure me that everything's in order. the second was me realizing that i was getting bnw's husband a far bigger gift than i'd given her, but i made that work because it's for a game shop and she'll be enjoying the gift too.

starbucks on st denis: i tried to plug my netbook in but the sockets were all messed up. all of them. when i complained to the girl behind the counter she responded with "yes, we know".

*awkward pause*
"you know?"
"yes."

...

i was walking away, aggravated, when she called after me that they're moving in three weeks. and??

after doing some more work on my script, i went to bnw's. on the way i read this month's wired article on the oculus rift. awesome, i can't wait to see how things roll out!

it was a warm, sunny day with a cool breeze and puffy clouds making interesting shapes as they crossed the sky, and i arrived at their apartment about five minutes after the designated time. i pressed the button, to which i got no response. i then pressed it again, and again got no response. i called bnw, and got through to her voicemail, then called her husband, and got through to his voicemail. by this point i had become quite irritated; it's bad enough when people invite you for a certain time when they mean an hour or two later, but it's even worse when there's no way to know that that's what's happening. about five or ten minutes later, while i was thinking of saying "screw this" and returning to gd, bnw called back and informed me that they'd been at the supermarket and were on their way back.

what - the - hell??? that's really rude.

in spite of the offence, the afternoon was very pleasant. i ate way too much, drank a fair amount and talked a lot with some surprisingly receptive friends of the birthday boy. overall, it was a great day and the only thing that brought me down was leaving with a rather severe belly-ache.

[continued...]

where gender wars end frisbeer begins part i

last thoughts on the shooting:

our sexual assault problem is nuanced, layered, and not easily solved by a hashtag and this is what most kids learn and the news coverage isn't helping.

---friday:

terms and conditions may apply contains a lot of material i was familiar with already, but some of the things i didn't know were deeply disturbing. anyone who uses internet services or has a smartphone should watch this documentary.

boxing: i felt like a machine during the warmup and shadowboxing. i was thrown another new guy and introduced as our coach's "most experienced boxer" without any sarcasm or joking, and was then partnered with an experienced mma guy for pad work which was a relief. after we finished the class with impact, i informed the coach of my neck news and for the first time he took my health seriously. he told me that i need to stop impact as well, and that from now on i need to stick to pads or bags and that's it.

...

one of the boxers is studying his doctorate at concordia, and he told me about a 70k grant they have. that's... that's pretty good incentive to take a year off to complete my thesis. i should listen to my mother and go speak to them sometime, even if i'm not going to be able to go back to university for another half a year to a year at least.

i hurriedly made and ate a salad, finishing just before vfmp and his boyfriend picked me up to go to chimera. chimera was closing, but they gave us a loyalty card with a free drink on it and now we know when to go back :)
we milled around a bit, eventually arriving at kokkino cafe. not only do they have soy and almond alternatives, they're puzzled by the fact that anyone charges extra for them. the owner was really nice and the coffee was excellent, the atmosphere in general is great and the music was excellent. how did i never walk in there before?!

the guys dropped me off at gd's at the end of the night, just in time for both of us to fall into bed, exhausted.

---saturday:

it was a gorgeous 13 degrees! the weather felt perfect for being outside, and it'd only get warmer. i came home, continued fighting with the internet about #YesAllWomen and eventually gave up. i can't keep fighting with people whose interests i care about for the right to fight for them. it's the same with israeli activists, vegans and feminists. and i was reminded of something i say a lot: i don't want to be a part of any club that won't accept me as i am.

that goes for politics as well as nightclubs, i guess.

right after deciding to quit the argument, bnw got in touch and explained that the reason she hadn't been in touch for a while was trouble at work with sexual harassment. fortunately it's all resolved, but the story itself really upset me and at the same time as i said to her "you should have reported him!" i realized that in her position she really couldn't know if that was the right thing to do or not :(

...

so... "the tam-tams" has become the name of the place the event occurs, and not just the event itself? that was confusing. on my way there i stopped at a coffee shop and asked the guy behind the counter if they had soy or almond milk. he gave me a funny look and explained that he didn't understand me, so i tried again, slowly pronouncing the two words and worrying that the way i say almonds doesn't translate in french (it totally does). he called for help and the other guy understood perfectly. while he was preparing my coffee i looked to the right, where a giant sign proclaimed, in french, soy and almond milk available.

i don't know which of us is dumber.

the problem with walking with a covered drink is that you don't see how it's sloshing, and so over the course of the next fifteen minutes i must have spilled about a third of my coffee on myself, with a nice big splash on my shorts and some ugly drops on my shirt. that only fueled my cursing at each bus that i missed, two of them only because they ran red lights. aarrrrgh!

no matter, the afternoon frisbeer and soccer was absolutely brilliant! we all had a great time, and after a couple of hours i left to go to bnw's with a big grin on my face ^_^

i picked up a quick falafel from la panthère verte while pondering my disengagement from the rape culture / sexism discussion.

my metro timing was excellent, and bnw offered me amazing coffee while we discussed the details of her horrible ordeal and then talked a bit about the comics. then i left, hurrying to gd's so we could go and watch a movie.

it's not clear why they evacuated the de la concorde metro station, but it seemed pretty serious as they had running police, paramedics and firemen and the whole area was shut down for about an hour. during that time it became clear to me just how impossible relying on laval's public transport is... if i *had* taken a bus, i would have arrived at gd's about an hour after i eventually did. that's insane.

bnw had loaned me her copy of the sandman: the dream hunters and i read half of it on the way. what a gorgeous work! i arrived in time for us to scramble to the cinema and be able to seat ourselves just as x-men: days of future past began. it's as wonderful as all the reviews say, we had an awesome time and the only thing that i felt detracted from the film was so slight that it really didn't matter.

---sunday:

i'm glad to see that bikers are protecting maya angelou's funeral. i woke up thinking that everyone should picket wbc funerals, with signs saying things like "god hates people who hate in his name". the only thing i have to add on the topic of maya angelou is this article on her pride in her history. it gives some of her poetry even more of an edge than it has already.

[continued...]

i don't even. part ii.

[... continued]

---sunday:

i enjoyed a good wake-up, though it was a rainy day and i went through it to the walmart to pick up a yoga mat. pulse had been talking about the importance of colours, and i was amused to hear that if i want to focus on my upper back i should go with green. i have a thing for green, so that's no biggie. there was a single yoga mat left in stock. it was green, odourless (i'd been warned about chemical mats) and apparently eco-friendly. so that was easy! as i walked to the check-out i received a message informing me that pulse had gifted me a $25 discount on yoga supplies from some online source.

why was the world making it feel like my birthday?

there was a problem at the check-out with the card reader. i was so offended when, after a couple of failed attempts, the cashier grabbed my card and began rubbing the chip as if we were in the nineties. i *told* her it was the reader, not the card. before she could do any damage i thanked her for her efforts and found another counter. my card passed through first time and i left with an image in my head of the first cashier as a kid blowing into a nintendo cartridge.

i went supermarket shopping, forgetting to make change for the laundry, then hit the gym to train. i was specifically going to meet the guy who joined us for yoga last week because i didn't have his number and the instructor was coming in later than we'd agreed. he didn't rock up at all, and instead i worked on the punching bags. i worked really hard, really well and for a long time; so long, in fact, that i didn't leave myself the time i'd intended to return home, shower quickly and return with my new yoga mat. suddenly the instructor had arrived and i'd only had a few minutes' rest. we began the yoga class.

my arms and legs were kinda tired after all the work on the bags. that made the exercises particularly difficult, but i pushed through and was as satisfied as i was sore by the end.

i had a short time between yoga and horseman visiting, really just enough to shower and eat and maybe rest a bit. instead of the latter, when i got home i found a message from aaa waiting for me. oh, i thought. we're going to have the talk.

i called her up and was surprised when instead of the talk, she was inviting herself to the slam! oh, shit. i couldn't think of an inoffensive way to end things in that context, so i remained polite and unenthusiastically told her i'd see her later. i started stressing about the potential drama, already planning to take gd out for a drink after the slam to explain everything, and was discussing the situation with supertongue who's a bit of a drama expert. she told me that i *had* to call aaa back, and i'm really glad i listened!

because i took a moment to compose my thoughts, called her back and told her how i feel. i was relieved to hear her say that it wasn't just me - so i wasn't being an ass! very sweet. we agreed that dating isn't working, but that we both like each other and hanging out is cool. it was actually the nicest "we're not going to date any more" talk i've ever had and we were both laughing for half of it. that was cool, i immediately felt much better, and just then horseman arrived for a tekken session.

we played the new tag tournament, it was a lot of fun but not as competitive as usual. both our games were off but it didn't matter :)

as we left for the slam i stressed about getting dressed, and halfway there i recalled that i'd intended to shave. shave! my beard was looking a bit scraggly. and pulse's comment about presenting my poetry with respect still ran in my ears. but there was no time for that. there was just time to grab a quick bite at la pantere verte and arrive to sign up.

i'm sorry, said my buddy as he greeted us at the door: we've changed the way registration works this week... didn't you get the memo? all the slots are taken, the only thing open is the open mic.

DAMN! i was so disappointed! i signed up for the open mic and made sure he understood that if there was an opening for the slam that i wanted it instead. a slow hour would pass before he could inform me that someone had dropped out, which was an enormous relief :)

we sat down with pulse and gd, were joined by bnw and had a really good time! i was really excited when pulse gave me some insider information that the guys at the company i've been interviewing with are just as excited to have me join them - i don't know if she's exaggerating because she's being super-nice but i'll take it ^_^

we enjoyed ourselves until aaa showed up, at which point things started getting a little weird. i was sitting between everyone and the stage and pulse, gd and aaa were sitting in a row with aaa next to me; i kept thinking "past, hopefully future and present" and both myself and gd, who was being respectfully considerate, were having trouble deciding where to look at any given time.

then the evening began. i was wearing my syndicate shirt, amusingly showing "follow me until you die" to the girls because my back was to them; i was uncomfortable specifically because i couldn't keep an eye on things.

some of the open mic pieces were pathetic, one of them was a surprisingly dramatic improvement by the guy who i hated on the open mic when i judged. still not amazing, but he's at least heading in the right direction :)

...

the slam began. the first guy up was someone i quite like, though his piece left a bit to be desired. my name was announced, and i whisked my bundle of nerves up onto the stage.

1. i should've raised the height of the mic. i'm an idiot.
2. i needed more confidence. my piece deserved more confidence, and now i feel like i let it down.
3. in spite of my shaking and lack of power, i blew the first dude away, was received with heartwarming applause and the mc was so impressed he joyfully fist-bumped me as we passed each other.
4. the judges seem to like it! certainly better than last month.

everyone at my table was thrilled when i sat down, and i turned to look for the scores. as i did so i felt a pair of hands on my back - i stiffened, knowing that it was a victorious "pat on the back" from aaa and sensing that it was a lot more sensual than it should've been. that was our first physical contact after three dates and an ending, and it was totally unappreciated... especially with gd right there! after that i noticed that something was going on between gd and pulse, and a few minutes later they'd disappeared. my phone began to vibrate with messages from gd and there was far too much for me to say in such a short space - as soon as the first round was over i phoned her.

when i heard her voice i was both touched and terrified; i apologized profusely and we agreed to have coffee in the morning to talk it all over. on my way back to the table aaa passed me to say goodbye. her work was done (she didn't say that, obviously), she needed to go.

#$@!. couldn't she have left first?!

...

during the break vfmp and his boyfriend showed up to take the girls' place. much less dramatic :P

mc june went up as the feature for the night. his hop-hop's all french, but even though i could barely follow the words - never mind the poetic meaning - the man was enthralling. the performance was amazing, powerful, obviously clever, and his beatboxing partner who joined him at the end was just brilliant.

moments before the feature, i was informed that i'd made it through to the second round. score! i was thrilled ^_^

i'd prepared the quebec immigration song for the second. i'm really, really, REALLY lucky that i was called up towards the end, because after hearing the first two poems i knew that it wasn't nearly strong enough. fortunately, i still have advice memorized and i decided that it would have to do.

about a minute before my name was called i felt something in my chest harden. it was something akin to anger; a sense of purpose, and rightness. my nerves were blasted away by it and i jumped onto the stage, reset the mic's height and cleared my head.

oh - my - gods. i have never commanded an audience before, but i now know what it feels like. i stared into the darkness and emptied myself into my words, each one flying out precisely. there were laughs in the right places and finger snaps, and the response when i finished was overwhelming. what unbelievable elation and pride! what a reward for finally getting my shit together on stage!

i took fourth overall (when that was announced there were actually a couple of boos, and not from my table ^_^ ) and a couple of the established poets not only made an effort to catch me to introduce themselves but one of them was excitedly talking about us hopefully going together as a team to the nationals. i hope, i hope, i hope that i've made it into the finals next month!!!

...

it was pouring with rain when we left, bnw and i headed to the metro together and stopped halfway at a cool bar to dry off with a couple of drinks. we had a fun time telling hysterical stories and discussing the evening, and when the rain relaxed and we'd finished our drinks it was time to go home.

---from the moment we said goodnight, i couldn't stop thinking about gd. i was practicing speeches in my head and fretting about all the things that could possibly go wrong, planning apologies and explanations well into the night.

all this was wrapped in ecstasy, a very real high off the evening that was so strong it was shocking!

---monday:

sleepless before a date with destiny [i wrote that on the way there]. i picked up my laundry, it was the most beautiful, warm, misty spring morning that would turn into a hot - over 20 degrees hot - sunny day. a fantastic day for extremes, i thought, and i couldn't imagine how right i was at the time.

gd's name is the french version of a character out of greek mythology; i wasn't sure if looking up her story was a mistake or a treat, but it was definitely educational.

...

we met at her metro station, and walked and talked for a while until we found a good place to eat. a sweet, cozy diner-type deal, there wasn't anything vegan on the menu but the waiter managed to sort out a huge, delicious off-the-menu special anyway. the coffee was good and we were having a lot of fun, though a lot of our discussion was decidedly inappropriate and the waiter wasn't embarrassed to chime in every now and again because he could hear everything we were saying. i would've been offended but the attitude was totally good :)

we took a semi-romantic walk down to atwater market and around the area, then to her apartment. we talked for ages there too, culminating in a first kiss that,

quite frankly,

i will never forget.

[continued...]

light stepping - step i

before i begin, it appears that the heartbleed crisis is mostly over. that is, let's hope that no real damage was done and change all our passwords. here's a helpful list from mashable: which services do you need to change your password for?

---wednesday:

i had some passover shopping to do so i went down to westmount where i'd heard things were available. it was perfect, perfect weather and every step and breath was enjoyed to the max! of course, an emotional overlay of karnivool - new day helped a bit :)

it was amazing until the wind came up, and then the rest of the day was just kind of nice with a sprinkling of annoying.

a homeless man in the metro reminded me that i hadn't taken any clif bars with me (i prefer to give those instead of cash), so i stopped at the health store to pick up a box of vanilla almond, then stepped into starbucks for my first coffee and some wired time. as i placed my order, the guy behind the counter asked my name to identify the cup.
"name?"
totalwaste.
"number?"
confused, i squinted suspiciously at him and then registered his grin; he was flirting with me.
"umm..." i began to stammer.
"ah! you're awake!"
"... yeah, that doesn't happen too often," i smiled and then proceeded to the next counter.

i was simultaneously amused, and flattered, and embarrassed - and i'm still laughing about it two days later!

...

i read about the midi fighter twister: 19 year-old me really wants that!

...

godmother had told me where to obtain marmite, but apparently they can't bring it in because regulations have changed. disappointed, i entered the supermarket and perused their passover wares. the experience was sucky, 'cause that's how i find most shopping experiences, and the only thing that seemed "gift-ish" were these tacky boxes of chocolates that i needed a second opinion on and was unable to obtain.

---while i was there i became offended at the stupid things that are imported from israel for passover. kosher-for-passover TEA?! tea doesn't need to be kosher for passover. it's TEA, not bread. one of the finer principles of being jewish is questioning things, and the religious have obviously missed the boat on this point. it's like they're all drinking the kosher-for-passover kool-aid.

---so i skipped across the road to the saq to pick up wine instead. when i'd found what i wanted, i stood between the check-out counters which were all unmanned. i stood there looking foolish for a short while, until the woman at the "info service" desk asked me if i needed help.

"yeah," i said, holding up the bottles, "i'd like to pay for these"
"what do you think i do here?!" she shouted derisively.
"i don't know," i admitted, "the sign says 'info service' and yours doesn't look like the other counters."

...

everything after "i don't know" was said under my breath.

---i got home and read the rest of the shadowrun online short stories, which are a lot of fun. i called up the israeli consulate and was pleasantly surprised by the friendliness and the fact that they're actually open before and after the holidays. then i was tired, so i rested.

i was deliberating between joining pulse for yoga or boxing sparring, then suddenly remembered that i was supposed to go to godmother's for dinner. good thing i remembered! dinner was really nice, after which i was tired again in spite of the coffee.

i watched a few ted episodes on neuroscience (or was it neurology?) and then watched antz in french until i passed out.

---yesterday:

after a good night's rest i woke up incredibly comfortable. i didn't move for a while just so that i could enjoy the sensation as long as possible, and i'm glad i did because apparently i've somehow got myself a pinched nerve in my butt and one side has been hurting with random shooting pains since i got out of bed.

my first task of the day was to take my israeli id to the embassy to get the address updated, only i'd neglected to consider and explore my options before arriving and as i walked into the building i realized that i didn't know what to change it to. feeling silly, i turned right around and went to vasconia, where i'd been informed (by bnw, who has a vested interest in helping her friends out) i'd find good colombian coffee.

it's a great little bakery, the coffee (oma) really is good and i enjoyed a cup while continuing to read wired. that was when i discovered wickr, a messaging service i'm rather impressed by.

...

while doing laundry i occupied myself with random, then messed around with git (or is that gitted around with mess?) in an attempt to look at a project that i have developed cunning plans for...

i did a quick walmart run for creatine and tonic water. my supermarket doesn't do tonic water any more. this is not cool. i suspect that they're beginning to empty their shelves and then i'll have to start shopping a little further from home - at least the weather's going to be better for it...

although it's already sticky warm, and to be honest i'm not so fired up for the sweaty season.

i finally completed the slam, a poem i started writing a couple of days ago out of the frustration caused by my more traditional rhymes not making the cut. i'm decidedly proud of it! i'm considering attaching a low-quality recording because my ironic inflection intentions aren't reflected in the text.

[continued...]

the laziness continued

oh, wow. it's sunday night. like, the hours have just been whizzing by since friday - i've been really motivated, but only by all the wrong things!

---friday:

i played about an hour of fallout and invested some time in figuring out what the bank advertisement in the metro was trying to say with its image of a child playing on a console and the single word "tripper" scrawled above his head. that was how i found the québécois / french dictionary entry. useful!

i did some reading while running laundry, then suddenly the afternoon was over and i'd just been half-asleep all day. i went out to meet vfmp and his brother and discovered that the snow had turned to rain. i was not impressed. the metro seemed warmer than it's been in a while, so that was uncomfortable too...

---the guys were laughing at me for my attitude towards violence in games. i can't do better than refer you all to penny arcade and tell you to look at their issues with jack thompson. i think this recent post on the subject sums things up nicely.
the discussion was about child-killing. it bothers me that i can play a game that will let me murder people, innocent or not, as long as they're not children. let's assume that we agree that killing people in general is wrong, and that without me going into a lengthy diatribe we also agree that killing in games is okay if it's context-appropriate and the game is suitably rated for mature audiences. in this case, what kind of message is a game that says "go ahead, kill everyone, but pull the trigger on a kid and nothing's gonna happen" sending? considering the fact that that sort of programming is incongruous with any believable reality, any player attempting to kill a child is certainly going to notice... and he's going to pay attention... and he's going to think about it.
it is my view that the only logical conclusion is that if killing adults isn't censored then it must be okay to do so in real life. you're welcome to argue this with me in the comments below, but do us all a favour and think carefully before you start typing. thanks so much.

---vfmp was being weird about dinner and mustwin was cooking; the two of them started fighting and in addition to making me feel awkward for a while it took me right back to my own experiences with problematic flatmates. gods, i'm so, so glad that i'm living alone. seriously. i can't deal with other people's shit.

at least the unpleasantness came to an end, and we all went to randolph pub ludique to celebrate a friend of theirs' birthday over alcohol and boardgames. it would take more than an hour to get a table, so we went looking for somewhere to sit in the meanwhile and we stumbled into manga-thé next door. what an awesome little tea shop! it's an impressive manga library and they have some games too, though you have to order tea if you want to play. oh, no! good tea!
we played forbidden island*, which is a fantastic game that's as simple to get into as it is entertaining to play. it's also relatively cheap, so i'm now trying to decide between the physical game and the ios app. the latter has a lot of advantages...

... i contemplated buying hunter x hunter translated into french; they have the entire collection and the story's complete! but i haven't read the last five or six books, and at $15 a pop i'm thinking that maybe i should just go and sit there, drink tea and read their copy instead.

* now known to our little group as "get the treasure before you drown with honour"

soon after we finished a game (winning!) we were informed that our table was ready. we were all so excited about playing co-op games (because mustwin is vicious about winning and we wanted the birthday boy to not be on the losing side) i'd been talking up arkham horror. it's a great game, but damn that was a bad call :(
it's way too complicated to play without at least one expert, by the time we were kicked out for closing we'd managed a single round and most of the guys were not impressed. we'd had a fun evening overall, but it would've been even better if we'd picked something else. mega fail, all on me.

we all went back to vfmp's place where the brothers put on street fighter vs tetris. i think we were all too tired for that, i got a ride home and practically fell into bed.

---yesterday:

i played feed-catchup in the morning, the results of which are linked at the end of this post. i chased that by playing some ftl: faster than light. i thought i was in control, but i wasn't. in fact, i've been obsessed by this game the entire weekend and i've devoted hours to it. the thing is, it's not about winning, but learning how to win. and once the soundtrack's stuck in my head...

weird french moment: reading a sign that says "désespoir" and thinking that despair being "from hope" makes sense, because you can't despair if you didn't have hope first. i took the metro to bnw's and when i wasn't napping i was thinking of an interesting twist on p2p protocols that i'm going to explore further this week.

bnw and i went over the comics for a while, and her husband suddenly interjected with a bit of pragmatism that had us arguing heatedly for a while. he had some interesting and valid things to say, i think by the end he understood where i'm coming from; i'm not sure how bnw feels but i do know that i'm not willing to hold the project for any one person who can't or won't put in the hours. i'd love for her to be the primary illustrator, but if she's going to work slowly then i'm going to find other people. i need this thing to happen.

we watched the wind journeys, which is a wonderful film! it's slow, but not boring, the music is the central theme and is very strange and interesting in its own right, the cinematography (or photography or whatever) is astounding.
even so, towards the end i was as sleepy as if i'd been in a lecture during the officer's course, massaging my temples until they hurt in a vain effort to keep my eyes open. to make things worse, i was suffering from rls - my feet were in pain and there wasn't a damn thing i could do about it.

the movie ended just before the last metro - i ran all the way (fortunately, that's not far) and hurried down to the platform only to find that i still had five minutes to go. oh, well.

when i got home, i brushed my teeth and went to bed. it was during the former action that i discovered which tooth cracked a couple of weeks ago. it wasn't the one that was hurting, it was the one that was subjected to the root canal treatment. it's broken in an ugly way and i really don't know if i should be doing something about it now or waiting until i have medical insurance again.

---today:

i got up early and played ftl until it was time for my yoga instruction. this morning's snowstorm was crazy and i was kinda sorry i wouldn't be going snowboarding...

the room we worked in last week was occupied but we were allowed in to the hot yoga room - it's obviously a perfect space for yoga, and we were amused when we realized that even with the doors open and the systems off it was still really warm in there. i recorded most of the lesson (my phone ran out of space after fifty minutes) so that i can do some of the exercises at home during the week and it was a really good class - tough, interesting, and i felt sooooo relaxed afterwards that i walked in to the main area of the gym and turned around and walked right back out because i didn't want anything to tense up and ruin the perfect comfort i was experiencing.

i wasn't as giddily euphoric as last time, but i still felt terrific.

after showering and eating lunch i shamefully got sunk into ftl, i'm not kidding when i describe it as addictive and it only gets more so the better you become.

i was on my way out to the supermarket when i realized that i hadn't closed the door properly when i returned home. ugh! everything seems to be in place, but i'm really embarrassed to have done something so... well, i guess that tells you how relaxed i was after yoga :P

i thought i was going to get serious after i got back but the night's been filled with this, online dating and random shit. it's now late, so i'm going to get into bed and start tomorrow on the right foot.

---linkage!

and just like that, an oft-mocked industry of people finds reprieve. through a teenage font-messiah.

well done, universe, well done.

...

rule no. 1: don't be an (_*_).

...

jim breuer on heavy metal for children

...

a friend of mine has written a post titled "inertia" in which he explains that he's finally on the same page as me regarding consumerism and career motivation :)

...

i hope that this crazy shit is what facebook's planning on doing with the rift it just bought

...

oh, man - i thought i was gonna skip to the important bits of maysoon zayid's ted talk, but she caught me in the first few seconds. amazing!

distractions - part i

i watched the last two episodes of freaks and geeks last night. how does a series go from "harmless fun" through to "insanely brilliant" so quickly?!

and then just end???

i may have narrative closure, but i feel like i need to re-watch the whole thing. i really am sad that it's over.

---friday:

i installed eclipse to play with java - which i haven't touched in a while - and did that for a while. i did some more of the book review, hitting a short story that's absolutely wonderful but suffers such a huge plot issue that i've actually offered him big suggestions; i hope he's not too offended :P

i went shopping, and was pleased to discover that using the points card i've already earned myself a $20 discount. that card *is* worth it.

boxing class was good, i partnered with a guy i know who's really tough and experienced and we worked particularly well together. when it was time to go hard on the punching bags, i was letting it all out and that included my breathing; "totalwaste, shut up!" shouted the coach, "you're not even hitting it that hard!"
that pissed me off, the combination of being told that and the possibility that he might be right. i hope he was wrong :(

impact was a treat, we both consistently scored solid liver shots but were both supportive of each other. and that dude hits hard, that did my confidence some good.

a couple of us talked about work until late, i rushed home for a quick dinner and headed over to vfmp's. on the way i set up two dates, one for sunday and one for tuesday, which was cool. then i got off the bus two stops too early and felt like an idiot. at least the weather was comfortable :P

we watched a decent episode of house of cards and played a great game of carcassonne, but there wasn't much conversation and i got the feeling his heart wasn't into it.

when i got home i felt lazy as usual. i totally spaced out playing another case solved (i really am addicted, its meta-game is really that good), then used book reviewing as an excuse to consume lots of junk food before bed.

i went to bed with a big toe really hurting. the air's been really dry in my apartment the last few days and it's messing with everything; cracked skin's no fun :(

---yesterday:

it was a gorgeous, warm-ish, sunny day!

i enjoyed a slow, late wake up right until i realized that i needed to rush to get to la panthère verte on time :$
bnw and i went over the script, everything looks good and she's ready to rock. awesome!

we sat there long enough for two coffees and lunch, about a third of that time involved the comics and the rest talking about everything. she and her husband are going through a weird phase and i really hope they get their shit all sorted out...

the girl sitting about a metre away from me for most of the afternoon looked so remarkably like pulse that it was uncanny. i caught her eye once and she didn't respond to my smile, so i assumed it wasn't her but i couldn't shake the feeling that it was and that she was pretending not to know me... the only explanation for that being that she thought that bnw and i were on a date. when she went to the washroom for a minute i asked her friend if she's who i thought she was, and her friend gave me another name. it was enough to make my head spin!

i didn't try the maple taffy on our way in to the metro, but i really must. apparently, spring has arrived :P

i was completely bombed on the metro, i was slipping in and out of consciousness until i got home.

---i spoke to my mum, and the more i think about it the less patient i become to hear good news from her post-op. i'm sure she'll be fine, but i think i finally understand what she goes through whenever something happens to me. we're really far away.

---i sent a message to pulse regarding the earlier non-incident, and was surprised to find myself in a long, really positive text conversation. we talked about all sorts of things, to the point where it just seemed right to invite her to the slam tonight. she said she might come, which would make things super dramatic if today's date goes well because if it does i wouldn't not invite her to the slam too! i'm laughing at myself right now, i think this is hysterically stupid of me.

ssso got in touch with me on facebook - it's been more than nine years! how good friendships disappear... it was nice to catch up, though.

i went to watch the jolly moroccan fight last night, and discovered that muay thai fights have been banned or something so these were all defined as amateur exhibitions...

[continued...]

on parole: sound check - part up

[... continued]

after all that, i still wasn't feeling good but i was definitely getting back in the saddle. i spoke to horseman and bnw, who'd called while i was mentally unfit to talk, and bnw had some fantastic news for me! she's finally feeling settled in her day job, and she's back to sketching. even better news is that her english has improved enough over the past six months that she's willing to *read* my script; which is terrific because i really shouldn't be drawing too much. anyway, we're meeting on the weekend and i'm really excited about that ^_^

---nuit blanche:

i didn't want to miss out on nuit blanche (i wanted to make up for last year's disaster), so i downloaded the guide app and made a list of possible attractions. when i arrived downtown i found myself hungry for the first time all day. the food court i was aiming at was closed, to i took the metro to p.m. and had myself a good dinner. horseman and a buddy of his arrived in the area just as i finished, we met up and walked to the museum of fine art.

the first piece we encountered was astonishing; it was hard to believe it was painted and the effects were as surreal and mind-blowing as the content. we walked through all the open exhibits, some of which were severely dull but some of which were stunning. and a good time was had by all :)

horseman's friend is also into hip-hop, though i'm never quite certain what it means when someone's introduced to me as an mc; regardless, he demonstrated some of his rhymes and they were pretty intense! when i offered a piece in response, however, he was humbled, which left me embarrassed. i think i'm pretty good, and it's certainly very cool and flattering to have fans, but his stuff was good in a very different way and the last thing i wanted was for him to clam up :(

i tried to explain to him that it takes all voices, i hope i got through to him.

---we arrived at the mccord museum for one of the poetry slam events, one of the guys running it was the guy who picked me to judge last month's collective slam. they were running an all-night workshop with recitals every hour, free tickets to the museum exhibits for anyone courageous enough to step up to the mic. i was in need of caffeine and the coffee stand wasn't ready, so we all did a quick second cup run and returned just in time to sign up.

i was nervous, getting up in front of a crowd of strangers. in retrospect, it might have been more appropriate for me to throw the quebec immigration song onto the fire, but i was saving it for next week so i went with advice because i felt it would give a good sense of the possible to the initiates.

i was surprised to be given seniority (first slot after the two organizers), i considered myself unproven as i kinda messed up online dating when the guy had first heard me. my breathing felt constricted and for the entire time my feet were rooted to the floor, but i kept my pace slow and focused and apparently i gave the best performance.

i cannot describe how validating that was! i was actually embarrassed when horseman and his buddy loudly praised me; i won't tell you the appreciation didn't add to my elation, but i did feel it a bit unfair to the others who had almost all done a good job of their first times!

overall, i was really impressed by the event and how much attention it garnered. and i was only there for half an hour. and the opportunity to practice before next week's slam was definitely needed!

---the main events around place des arts were beautiful, but we were all too tired to play. it was snowing and the main dance floor was just as decent as igloofest, there was a whole lot of crazy stuff to see and just a stroll through it all was an experience. the guys split just before we arrived at another slam event location, but it was too late anyway as they'd already closed their doors for the evening. i walked through to a kinetic art exhibit inside place des arts, it was fun but after a quick mill around i decided to call it a night.

a night in which i went from totally buggered to excellent! i got home, posted, and eventually got into bed around 6pm. i don't know what the hell took me so long, but i fell asleep so quickly that i only registered random dreams and waking up.

---i'm addicted to another case solved. there's a review here that i mostly agree with, but i think that they've done a terrific job of using freemium. paying for shit is attractive, but not paying for shit forces you to chill out, to take breaks and to develop different strategies for progressing. for example, i never waste "bought" tools on newspaper cases unless i'm definitely going to solve them, and there are "free" tools and abilities (like a once-per-turn sponge) that help with that. and if i need cash to purchase furniture or tools i will keep doing newspaper cases until i have enough. it's all gravy :)

i was holding a glass this morning and bumped it against a cupboard. it exploded, with shattered fragments littering the floor. i'm really glad my feet have toughened since leaving cape town. i'm going to be very careful when purchasing replacements to make sure that i get heavy glass, this is the second i've had to toss in as many weeks :/

i had a long chat with my mother, then headed to godmother's for coffee. the temperature was -8 but it was really beautiful and the day was lazy, relaxed and unstressed. that's the first time i've felt like that since leaving cape town!

i came home, made lunch and watched a couple more episodes of freaks and geeks. i've finally had a chance to catch up with SxS, which is good because i'm finally armed with useful information about my current status. now i'm going to read. i'm almost done with the first harry potter in french, and a friend has just sent me (and a couple of other people) a copy of his book to read before he submits it to his publisher.

occupation

good heavens! i haven't felt this attached to on-screen characters since battelestar galactica: downton abbey just keeps driving at the same pace, the unexpected twists and turns are subtle and in character (except for one tiny thing that's annoying me but which might just be my memory and that i can't be bothered to go back and verify), and emotions fluctuate so rapidly that it's all i can do not to let netflix load the next episode each time!

speaking of memory: i'm a little concerned about mine. on the one hand, i try not to stuff my brain with too much trivia, on the other, there're details that keep getting lost and that frustrates me. for instance, we were watching ufc live last night and renan barao was being introduced immediately after uriah faber when a cute girl behind our table asked me who i was rooting for.
"the other guy," i said stupidly.
"why?" she asked, letting my inability to produce proper nouns slide.
"it's his chin," i responded with a smile, "i have to support the chin."

---friday:

the two missions of the day were locating my lost flash drive and getting to popeye's to use the gift card vfmp got me for my birthday. the first mission was entirely unsuccessful, though i did get free starbucks for my troubles* and ran into kgb for a quick chat.

* i believe the girl felt bad for me for having lost my drive, but she claimed it's because i'm there so often. nice, either way.

on my way to popeye's i stopped at nudo for lunch. i love the way they prepare the noodles in front of you, but i'm left extremely suspicious of their tofu being tofu. it wasn't bad, but the sensation was of boiled chicken or beef and the guy's flippant "of course it's tofu" was not reassuring.

the helpful assistant at popeye's convinced me to try vegessential. now that i've experimented with it, i think that vega one should be renamed "half". the latter has an inconsistently better texture, the former has a better taste. i'll stick with the new shit.

not wanting to be spammed, i declined to provide my email address when registering the gift card. the assistant quipped that it's amusing that we're so easily convinced to give up our home addresses and phone numbers, but not email - i wouldn't provide anything if i felt i had a choice! that brings ungrip to mind.

i read french harry potter all throughout the day, which was a significant factor in my being so extremely tired when i arrived home. i thought i was going to go to the gym and was contemplating how much nap time i could sneak in when i suddenly realized that it was the end of the month and that i'd agreed to attend a community center poetry event organized by newk'd's girlfriend! in addition to my plans to meet with bnw and her husband for drinks, i was totally worn out with planning anxiety by the time i finally got out of the apartment.

the poetry evening was a little awkward at first but overall was a lot of fun! i was surprised and disappointed at how nervous i was reciting... my breath kept catching :(

i hadn't been able to contact bnw as planned and so newk'd, his girlfriend and a cute girl who happened to be leaving the centre when we were decided to grab dinner together. there's a vegetarian-friendly spot called cafe-i-ching right next door so we gave it a try, surprised to find ourselves at a rather nice yet reasonably priced restaurant. dinner was delicious, and in my head became a double date as the girl and i seem to have a surprising amount in common. she took my contact details when we parted and i'm a little bummed that she hasn't gotten in touch...

i headed out to berri uqam a little late, but we all arrived at the same time so it was fine. we went to a really groovy bar with awesome live world music and somewhat odd vegan snacks, drank a lot and talked a *lot*. i was made a little uncomfortable by the gifts i received from their visit to colombia: first, because i didn't get them anything. second, because while the coffee gift is awesome, the beads that i have aren't really my style and i'll feel bad if i don't wear them at least when they're around!

*sigh*

in our at-least-tipsy states and our rush to make the last metros bnw forgot her bag, so we parted ways at the turnstiles and i went home.

...

there's something special about shaving and showering before bed when obviously under the influence.

---yesterday:

it was a slow morning - i've done this weekend properly! - and the colombian coffee over sherlock holmes was a great start to it. i went in to the gym and ran into one of the guys i was told not to spar with because "he hits like a truck"; i've actually learned to put in my mouthguard when working with him in class because his softs are hards. he was complaining about being lazy and we talked a lot about attitude and sparring - he agreed to spar "lightly" with me after my scheduled sparring introduction with another guy i've been doing classes with for a while.

it may have been light, and i'll call it "drilling" instead of sparring even though a lot of it was the former, but i handled more than six rounds and walked out feeling like i'd properly earned my weekend!

horseman and a friend came over shortly after i'd showered and had lunch and we spent a couple of hours playing hardcore tekken; from there horseman joined me downtown for dinner while i waited for vfmp and his boyfriend to join me to watch the ufc fights live. we had some very interesting talks about dreams...

... when vfmp and his boyfriend and i arrived at our destination metro station they decided they needed to go for dinner, and after waiting with them for the bus in the snow for ten minutes i decided that as i'd already eaten i'd go on ahead and they could join me after their meal. this turned out to be much smarter, as i didn't feel like i'd interfered with their "date night" and i didn't miss the best fights of the evening :)

sitting in the warm sports pub nursing a guinness next to a window onto the snowstorm street outside was superb.

varner vs trujillo was an amazing fight to watch and made my bar tab totally worth it!
*SPOILER ALERT*
i'm a big fan of frank mir, and i've decided that i don't ever want to watch him fight again. the past few fights have been incredibly uncomfortable to watch as he's made an unfortunate habit of being beaten up.
*END SPOILER ALERT*

the guys made it for the final fights, which were a little disappointing but we had fun anyway. they'd rented a car for the night and offered me a ride home, the conditions were absolutely terrible and it was pretty scary. well, i guess we all kind of accepted the risk so it wasn't *really* scary, but the possibility of having an accident was very real.

---today:

after a perfect sleep-in, i spent the day relaxing. i failed to get through a french movie horseman brought and i played a lot of tekken instead. i played online. that's a hardcore experience! when it's not frustrating because of lag. it amazes me how many people are playing at any given time. that there're enough that i've never waited more than twenty seconds to start loading a fight. or maybe i'm playing ghosts too? it's all magic.

it was only an hour or two ago that i realized that my phone's been off all day. the girl i'm supposed to go out with hasn't contacted me, i hope that's not the reason...

... now off to godmother's for dinner. and hopefully a date afterwards, but if that doesn't happen i'll find ways to occupy myself :)

first french finale - part ii

[... continued]

why does battletoads give me such an intense sense of deja vu??? and what's with the havana nagila soundtrack???

---saturday:

it was too late to comfortably get home so we continued playing and i crashed on the couch. my back and neck were already hurting and vfmp's couch is really, really horrible :(
i had a shitty night and woke up early to take the bus home. when i'd left my place the night before it hadn't been so cold and i knew i wouldn't have to wait long outside so i didn't have a second layer under my jacket, but in the morning the wind came up and the bus was late. i was cold. so cold that i didn't mind the bus being overheated.

the screen in the metro described the air quality as "bonne" with a temperature of -2, i had to smile in spite of my misery.

i showered and crashed, waking up later still feeling exhausted and super slow. after doing some chores i went to the subway for lunch and almost got run over: if you can't keep your attention on driving then don't get behind the wheel! some idiot pulled off from a stop while i was crossing and i had to jump out the way to save my legs. i stopped and stared angrily while her husband / father / whatever gestured frantically at her and she stared expressionlessly straight ahead through her giant dark glasses.

i returned home to continue the week-long fight with the caretaker: why don't i get a functioning toilet? i had guests coming and i'd have to explain to them how to manually fill the tank to flush :$

i don't know why i was being a hero, i got through most of the day without caffeine and it was partially due to that that i was stuck on the couch for a lot of it. i downed a cup of coffee just before horseman arrived and we talked and tekkened for a bit before heading out to walmart - which was closed. so we stopped at wendy's instead.

fcmg, who was going to be bringing the food for the evening, called to cancel at the last minute; when bnw and her husband arrived we agreed to order chinese and that turned out to be a pretty good idea. the night was fun, we watched some invader zim in spanish and then good will hunting, which made me tear up even though it's the third or fourth time i've seen it. i did have a bit too much to drink, though, and i managed to say something to bnw's husband that came out all wrong and might have properly offended him :(

---sunday:

my body was sore and i still had to clothe the bed. that sucked.

...

it was a lazy sunday morning until my doorbell rang and i shot up to let the caretaker in.
"i never work on sundays, but you're right and for you i'll make an exception."
huh. maybe i will give him a christmas present after all.
maybe.

there was something deeply satisfying about successfully cleaning and tidying after the previous night had left my kitchen and living room looking like american college students had had a small party. i headed to aota's to spend the afternoon with her, newk'd and newk'd's girlfriend. and drink coffee, a fair amount of ron abuelo rum and eat aota's crazy delicious version of pad thai.

she was all depressed - and i mean really depressed - and i tried to talk to her about things. we ended up arguing a lot and by the end i was ready to give up on her, she's really in a shitty situation and she doesn't have a lot of options. i kept telling her that she at least needs to be kind to herself but when you're in a rut it's hard to see out. when i got home i sent her a message apologizing for lecturing...

i watched some more once upon a time, did some arbitrary online stuff, contacted some friends and family in london to make arrangements to spend some time with them and started posting. i think i'm about ready to pass out now.

---philosofly - hip-hop homophobia: the sound quality is absolute rubbish, unfortunately, but i suggest trying to hear what he has to say anyway. this is the piece that won the finals for toronto team.

i've almost completed the poem that i've had slow-roasting for the last while. it amazes me how much i've gotten into my own head with it and how much it's changed as i've progressively learned more lines by heart.

big weekend equals sore smiles

there's not much that feels better than a hot bath after a day on the slopes ^_^

---friday:

on thursday night i went to bed with a headache again. i took tylenol and it relaxed enough for me to sleep, but it returned later. that plus a temperature spike to six degrees celsius plus our building's heating saw me waking up hot, sweaty and not in the best of moods.

then i, half asleep, fired up penny arcade's gamers vs evil to take my turn and i deleted my best card by accident; there's no undo feature, i was really unhappy :(

french class: i was asleep at the wheel. i did have a proud moment where i realized that the voir / avoir / savoir and prendre / apprendre / comprendre share a relationship that makes them easier to remember: first you see, then you take, then you have, then you learn, then you know and finally you understand.

bone: there's been a definite reading improvement, i've been re-reading from the beginning and getting very comfortable. bone was definitely a good choice!

i rushed home to look for my x-ray referral. you know that weird moment when being too well organized leaves you in complete disarray? i'd put it in a convenient place and proceeded to search everywhere else :S

the x-ray procedure was simple and efficient and it turns out i don't have pneumonia. i had a long wait for a doctor (it was a good opportunity for a nap, i think i needed that) who then sent me to another doctor who decided that unless i want to try codeine i should see a specialist. so i'm doing that on tuesday and hoping that they will have some idea of how to fix this labored breathing bullshit.

the bus back to the metro took forever to arrive (should have walked) and then i remembered that it was rush hour and the metro made me feel a bit claustrophobic.

i didn't have energy for training or for housekeeping so i finally gave myself a rest. during that rest i was invited to a big sports bar to watch with a bunch of other tristar guys and gals, so we agreed to join forces and suddenly we had reservations! very cool :)

in 2012 there were two snow white movie remakes. while i enjoyed both mirror, mirror and snow white and the huntsman, it wasn't nearly as much as i did the first two episodes of once upon a time. it reminds me of the alice miniseries even if it's a little less jaw-to-the-floor.

on my way to vfmp i sat down next to the elbow tugger on the bus and we had a pleasant conversation. i'll still be avoiding him in the gym, though.

we enjoyed a couple of great games of carcassonne and i *just* caught the last bus home.

---saturday:

i finally got around to sorting out papers and dishes and other stuff that's been bugging me for a while, put some more work into my poetry and played zork. achieved a personal best, too! (i've always been quickly eaten by a grue, this time i did stuff :P)

i spoke to my toronto cousins and we discussed a possible visit within the next couple of weeks, after which i walked to the starbucks to work on my comic script. first, walking through a quiet neighbourhood in the sparkling sunlight - it was ten degrees and somehow, even with a cool breeze, it still felt like how i remember cape town summers used to be. second, i finished translating my sketches into a proper script and finally moved on to the next chapter. it's so exciting working with someone who will read my text and completely handle the illustration!

on my way to the other supermarket: an elderly couple, both bent over with age and she was guiding her blind partner to cross against the light on an intersection with heavy traffic (O_o)

i was in a hurry to get to bnw's so i picked up a falafel subway and ate half while walking and half while riding the metro (i could have said subway). i waited on the second eating, though, because the first car i stepped into was filled with little kids screaming and a bunch of other passengers eating food with aggressively loud smells.

i was pleasantly surprised to find myself arriving precisely on time, perfect metro timing! unfortunately, the other metro line was having trouble so fcmg came much later. the great news is that bnw and fcmg got along famously ^_^

i couldn't stay longer than our scheduled time because i had to get to the sports bar... the place was packed and i was disappointed to learn that our reservation was in the smoking section. also, our screen was teasing us by coming alive for only a few seconds at irregular intervals, so we had to watch ones further away :S

i was also disappointed when vfmp and his boyfriend arrived and they'd had dinner without me (not according to plan), so i was the only one who hadn't eaten and all i could go for were french fries and onion rings. which was fine until vfmp's boyfriend informed me that the onion rings weren't vegan.
*sigh*
well, they weren't exactly healthy anyway. at least i got a good baked potato off the menu.

on another note, our waitress was also tristar which was awesome :P

the fight night itself wasn't great. three of the main card fights bugged me: first, evans did not look satisfied with his win. i realize that he didn't really want the fight, but still... second, watching mcdonald not doing anything was painful and gsp vs hendricks? well, if you've been hiding under a rock then SPOILER ALERT: i agree with the outcome, i don't that anybody was robbed. but neither of the two really won, to be fair, and that's extremely disappointing. they were both fighting defensively and we should expect more from champions. it occurred to me that at some point george "rush" st pierre became plain old george st pierre. he's still awesome, but i was upset every time he connected and then let hendricks reset. if he'd kept pressing forward i'm confident he would've kicked his ass... massive injuries or no massive injuries.

---sunday:

late to bed and early to rise... i got ready pretty quickly, a friend (icarus) picked me up and we headed off to saint sauveur for the day.
shock number one: $300 for a locker for the season?! sod that. i'll keep getting some exercise.
shock number two: my feet were really hurting me and eventually i decided to bite the bullet and toss $20 to rent boots. i was busy filling out the form when one of the guys who works there pulled me aside and showed me that almost all snowboard boots have insteps. i removed my insteps and they immediately fit well. sorted! and for free :P

i spent the day getting progressively more comfortable, by the end i'd returned to decent form and had some really good rides through the moguls.

we stopped for lunch at the worst possible time, because as we were finishing it began to rain. we stopped at the bar for a pint after which i decided that i HAD to go out for one or two last runs - that was a sodding good idea! [see what i did there? i returned sodden.]

the ride back in the rain combined with the music he was playing to put me to sleep. i wanted to buy a rammstein album when i got home but either apple or my bank have screwed up the billing somehow :(
after bathing and watching once upon a time and some fights, i went shopping and started blogging. now that i've covered the weekend, it's late and i haven't even looked at my homework. i'm bombed. and very, very pleased with how this weekend went.

first snow and slamming poetry

as i begin writing this post the anaesthetic from an hour and a half of dental work is beginning to wear off and the strain from keeping my mouth wide open for most of that time is making itself felt. everything's tingly and distracting, which i feel is the perfect time to begin reporting on my weekend.

and what a weekend it was!

---friday:

shortly after posting, vfmp came by with his boyfriend and we put on the avengers, pausing only to debate whether torino mousse chocolate is vegan because while the ingredients and kosher certification proclaim it so, it still contains 7mg of cholesterol... that's a heck of a lot for something that's supposed to be plant-based :S

that didn't and wouldn't stop me, but i feel i must note that eating that chocolate in the dark saw me covered in it afterwards :$

a couple of vfmp's friends (well, i guess the couple are now my friends too) joined a bit later and the guy turned out to be able to bring some pretty solid tekken. we didn't get too many games, though, because it was decided that a mission to wendy's for their baked potatoes was in order. that *is* a good baked potato.

---saturday:

before going to bed i had a chat with my mom and was pleased to hear that my uncle who's been suffering post-op psychosis for the longest time has finally been sent home and is feeling much better. i just hope he stays on top of things.

...

vfmp was going to call me to join him at the gym in the morning, but he didn't and instead i lay in bed feeling good; calm and at peace for the longest time watching cartoons play on the backs of my eyelids. the beeps and bells and buzzes of my phone were like a knock at the window which i managed to ignore until i was ready to get up :)

on friday i'd invited fcmg to join me and newk'd and his girlfriend at the poetry slam finals, but by the time she'd decided to come with there were no more tickets available. it's not my fault that happened, but i feel bad for inviting her and getting her hopes up :(

i plucked up some courage and headed downtown to my first french meetup. it was incredibly intimidating, crazy awkward, deeply embarrassing... and ultimately far more successful than i'd expected! at first every time someone spoke to me i'd begin sweating profusely and get stuck on things i know, later a senegalese guy arrived who wanted to learn english and the help he gave me really boosted my confidence, so i'm happy to trade him for english lessons :)

i'll be doing that again.

there was supposed to be a free french documentary that we were all invited to and we walked a long way in the cold only to discover that it the movie itself wasn't free but the lecture beforehand was. hooray. i bailed and walked into subway for a quick bite; i would have ordered a foot long but i remembered that i still had the previous night's six inches in the fridge so i had that when i got home instead :P

...

someone told me that montreal appears to suit me: i tend to agree.

...

i returned home for a very short rest and protein break, then headed out for the slam finals.

i arrived at the rialto on time, it's an awesome theatre and even before they opened the doors the crowd looked groovy. newk'd and his girlfriend arrived about twenty minutes late, which gave me ample time to stand outside and enjoy the first flakes of snow of the season. it was awesome :)

it seems like canadian time and israel time aren't too far apart, as we had to wait about an hour before the night actually got started. not that we didn't keep ourselves amused during that time, but still.

---the evening opened with a native american elder speaking and singing in a mixture of french and his native tongue while beating on a drum: every word sounded like solid gold, heavy and beautiful, but what the heck was someone like me supposed to do with them?

what followed was a guest of honour with a stunning voice and perfectly performed yet pretentiously patronizing poetry, but holy words! the poetry slam itself started with a bang and managed to get progressively better. amazing!

there was a lot of incredible stuff, very little meh, but it was philosofly ftw. what he brought to the slam made this look like amateur night - i'm hoping he'll make a video of his performance or the text itself available [i just asked, he says he will].

overall the evening was utterly inspirational.

---sunday:

i got into bed knowing i'd need a good couple of hours' sleep in order to wake up early to go snowboarding. instead ninja words kept sneaking in to leave words and phrases that would keep my mind spinning all night. i felt complete for the first time in ages.

in spite of that i was up and ready to roll by 5.30am with adrenaline surging through my veins - only to discover that the "snow" weather forecast turned out to mean "slush from above". i was not impressed! i went back to bed an woke up five hours later... the current conditions and forecast were set to "snow" and that was verified by a call to saint sauveur. alright!

i finally checked out communauto and established that a car to the mountain for the day would cost about the same as the bus, so while it's cheaper for multiple travellers it would be smarter for me not to use it alone. i got my shit together and got on the bus which was practically empty. the route was longer than i'm used to but it was a comfortable ride spent reading bone and relaxing.

it was only when we hit saint jerome that i became super disappointed: it was raining. the closer we got the more it looked like the day would be a (literal) washout, and when we finally arrived at the village the driver handed me my board with a smile full of pity and the words "no snow today"... i couldn't have extended my ticket to continue to tremblant even if i'd wanted to so i was stuck there for the next three and a half hours.

having learned that the weather forecast and the updated condition reports are completely useless (and so i should only go when the temperatures are below freezing), the constant light drizzle melted my hopes for an awesome evening but i chose to walk the fifteen minutes to the mountain anyway even if only for a beer or two; i was just thinking how in spite of the unnecessary expense the little trip wasn't such a bad way to spend a sunday when i turned a corner and saw a slope not only operational but with a fair number of skiers and snowboarders on it!

i sped up a little, quickly changed when i arrived and headed out for the last runs of the evening - in spite of the weather the open route had been kept in great condition and i've now had an excellent opportunity to try out my new bindings and remind my muscles who's boss...

especially exciting was short-circuiting a massive wipeout after landing an accidental mogul launch right onto another mogul :)

not a bad day at all, i feel like i earned my aprés-ski pint ^_^

---late 90's house mixes were the perfect post-piste soundtrack! i had the biggest smile on my face on the way back to the bus. i had time to wait so i sat at mcdonald's for tea and fries (amiright?) and one of the staff and a 16 year old took an interest in my boarding... the kid was also interested in practicing his english so we traded conversation until the bus arrived. it was kinda weird giving advice to someone half my age on how to quit smoking and doing so partially in french...

both on the bus and the metro rides i was primarily occupied with my thoughts. it was quite pleasant.

i tried watching the avengers in french while i ate dinner (eh, not so helpful) and afterwards decided i was far too tired to do anything except go to bed early.

---today:

shit, i'm such an idiot! that meant that i didn't do the french homework so i had to rush it this morning.

thought for the lesson: you'd think the not-so-bright girl would at least make up for being obviously slowest in class by revising a little - it's just pathetic. is it mandatory that every language class have one of those? we had one in the classes in tel aviv...

after class i picked up the builder bars i'd ordered and tipped the rest of the boxes over on an already hard-to-reach shelf :$

i returned home, ran laundry and called bell to ask about the bill i received. not only was the guy helpful, but he also informed me that there's a promotion on and for no additional charge i can up my data plan to 2gb. alright! i'm very pleased, that means i can stop worrying about reaching the limit.

bnw called to cancel our beers this evening, which i'm kinda glad she did as my dental state wouldn't have made it much fun.

the dentist: an hour and a half? damn. i'm not sure whether i or my dentist and his assistant deserve more pity. my jaw's still tender from keeping it open for so long and at one point i couldn't stop nodding off - aside from relaxing my jaw i kept losing consciousness with a start... weird. and dangerous :(

...

i just took a break to have dinner - oh gods, the new filling isn't sitting right *and* the tooth's suddenly super-sensitive :'(

and on that note, homework. i'm ready for bed again. this feels like punishment for enjoying the weekend so thoroughly :D

---linkage:

doesn't this history of israel make you want to rush over there to be a part of the story?

...

lie detecting neck tattoos: anyone who understands the basics of lie detection knows that galvanic skin response is not an indication of a lie, it's an indication of interest or excitement. whoever wrote this piece is a moron or a troll, likewise whoever wrote that application.

the age of research is dead! long live the information age!

...

to this day is shane koyczan doing a very special spoken word piece for ted. excellent stuff.