scrapper just posted a link to a very, very long article on the state of transitioning research. fortunately, he advised me to skip to the conclusion and it pretty much summarizes what i've come across of late.
from what i've read i've begun to believe that "educating" children about gender is not only unnecessary but confusing to them, and that both encouraging (more than just accepting how your kids feel) and discouraging (just accept how your kids feel) are both forms of abuse. if there's a serious body dysmorphia issue when they're older, then make sure they have the support (family and professional) that they need.
what we really need is to - as a society - stop caring about an individual's gender preferences and behaviours. seriously, who the **** cares if a boy or girl behaves like the opposite sex or what kids wear or any of that crap. constructing identity based on these kinds of things is precisely why we have such messed up identity politics in the first place.
build your identity on things that matter, like values and principles and tastes, and let's move the **** on! as gd says: it's time to step out of the anal phase.
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 11, 2018
Monday, November 24, 2014
somewhat funny
last year i helped kickstart a documentary on the boundaries of humour by mike celestino called that's not funny. we finally got to watch it tonight, and i'm super pleased that it's been made and hopeful that lots of people will be exposed to it!
Saturday, October 04, 2014
donating time
in filling out the canadian blood services msm survey. i wonder if i'm out of line for writing "Profiling based on sexual orientation instead of risk factors is backwards and wrong. By "science, expert advice and stakeholder input" does Canadian Blood Services Survey mean it leans more towards "popular opinion" out of those three?"
...
"I will be ecstatic when Canadian Blood Services recognizes that monogamous homosexual relationships pose little threat to the blood supply. I am disappointed that in the face of a blood supply shortage popular opinion is so much more important to Canadian Blood Services than science and the lives of those people who desperately need blood."
...
"I will be ecstatic when Canadian Blood Services recognizes that monogamous homosexual relationships pose little threat to the blood supply. I am disappointed that in the face of a blood supply shortage popular opinion is so much more important to Canadian Blood Services than science and the lives of those people who desperately need blood."
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
happy saint-jean-baptiste day?
it's monday night, i'm feeling physically and emotionally exhausted; i skipped training and the only writing i'm managing to get done today is this. the past two days have been full of ups and downs and i've been brooding over the fact that after finding a job i was expecting a couple of quiet months wherein i'd get to do what i want to do... instead, during the past couple of months i've had relatively little focus-on-me time and i've been constantly stressed about whether or not i'm going to get to stay in this country.
--- yesterday:
we had plans to go out and enjoy the tams, but instead of an anti-histamine gd accidentally gave me a pill that totally knocked me out. i spent the next few hours flat on the couch or on the bed, it was all rather sad. in the evening we went to visit her tattoo-artist friend who owns the gallery where we met.
we drank a few glasses of wine (and i had a beer), we advised the owner on real estate, website development and marketing, and then i got into a long discussion about being vegan in which i think i became a friend of theirs' guru (a link to nutritionfacts.org and my training diet seemed to be enough).
gd had one of those memorable moments - she'd had a bit to drink, and gestured as if she was going to throw her phone in the air... it slipped out of her hands, and she was then forced to perform one of those amusing juggling acts brought on by almost catching it and having it immediately bounce back into the air. the impressive part was her successfully catching it on the sixth or seventh try, and we were rather grateful that we didn't have to add "replace phone" to the list of things to do today :P
the owner has the sweetest little handbag-dog. i usually can't stand those, and i don't consider them "real" dogs, but this one's like a cross between a dog and a hamster, like a tiny, sensitive toy designed to be petted. anyway, we all decided to go to p.m. for dinner and the poor little creature was sneaked in in the handbag and hidden until the table the entire time. phenomenally well-behaved, she only barked once and we all managed a most amusing cover-up; we were legitimately worried that we'd find ourselves banned, and that would totally suck!
p.m. was delicious, their dishes are designed to be shared and four of them between five of us was still too much to handle.
gd and i said goodbye and came home to watch the boondocks. i've seen a few episodes before but not in any particular order. damn, but that stuff's offensive. and it gets stuck in your head in the worst way...
--- monday:
i woke up still feeling tired but good nonetheless, however uninspired to write i might have been. aside from more of the boondocks and shopping, the main focus for the day was showing my apartment to a potential taker for the month of july. i will be very disappointed if she doesn't take it, she was asking about things that would really only matter if they were planning on renting it long-term and it's perfect for her needs...
on our way home i stopped by the building manager's office to give them a ball that some kid had landed on my balcony. the woman there began lecturing me about playing responsibly, then reminded me that if i do sublet i'll have to pay $150 out of my own pocket for the credit check they run on potential tenants.
she asked me if i'd told anyone i was subletting, and i informed her of the distinct lack of support i've received from her co-workers.
"well, you know we have empty apartments right now..."
"... and i'm living somewhere else and being forced to pay rent for an apartment i'm not using."
i walked out, updated gd and the two of us were steaming about the fact that they're worried about not making maximal profit and i'm worrying about not being able to afford food. what a bunch of greedy bastards, as soon as i'm out of there they won't be getting any more referrals from me - by that i mean to say that i'll be sure to spread the word of their attitudes through any channel available.
...
i walked past the park next door, and was pleasantly surprised to find that during the summer all of the kids' bars and decorative features turn into a miniature water park, with a fountain in the middle. the neighbourhood kids were out in force having a whale of a time :)
shane mauss - mating season: as he was describing the theory of how people walk on two legs because women like stuff, gd complained about the chicken no longer being edible and i found myself rushing off to the supermarket to buy some more. coincidence? it's a great show, what he lacks in execution he makes up for in wit.
we watched a few episodes of blue exorcist over dinner, and i read the wonderful tale of ahmed sadiq before making myself a salad. now there's a story of justice being served. powerful, painful justice.
we had plans to go out and enjoy the tams, but instead of an anti-histamine gd accidentally gave me a pill that totally knocked me out. i spent the next few hours flat on the couch or on the bed, it was all rather sad. in the evening we went to visit her tattoo-artist friend who owns the gallery where we met.
we drank a few glasses of wine (and i had a beer), we advised the owner on real estate, website development and marketing, and then i got into a long discussion about being vegan in which i think i became a friend of theirs' guru (a link to nutritionfacts.org and my training diet seemed to be enough).
gd had one of those memorable moments - she'd had a bit to drink, and gestured as if she was going to throw her phone in the air... it slipped out of her hands, and she was then forced to perform one of those amusing juggling acts brought on by almost catching it and having it immediately bounce back into the air. the impressive part was her successfully catching it on the sixth or seventh try, and we were rather grateful that we didn't have to add "replace phone" to the list of things to do today :P
the owner has the sweetest little handbag-dog. i usually can't stand those, and i don't consider them "real" dogs, but this one's like a cross between a dog and a hamster, like a tiny, sensitive toy designed to be petted. anyway, we all decided to go to p.m. for dinner and the poor little creature was sneaked in in the handbag and hidden until the table the entire time. phenomenally well-behaved, she only barked once and we all managed a most amusing cover-up; we were legitimately worried that we'd find ourselves banned, and that would totally suck!
p.m. was delicious, their dishes are designed to be shared and four of them between five of us was still too much to handle.
gd and i said goodbye and came home to watch the boondocks. i've seen a few episodes before but not in any particular order. damn, but that stuff's offensive. and it gets stuck in your head in the worst way...
i woke up still feeling tired but good nonetheless, however uninspired to write i might have been. aside from more of the boondocks and shopping, the main focus for the day was showing my apartment to a potential taker for the month of july. i will be very disappointed if she doesn't take it, she was asking about things that would really only matter if they were planning on renting it long-term and it's perfect for her needs...
on our way home i stopped by the building manager's office to give them a ball that some kid had landed on my balcony. the woman there began lecturing me about playing responsibly, then reminded me that if i do sublet i'll have to pay $150 out of my own pocket for the credit check they run on potential tenants.
she asked me if i'd told anyone i was subletting, and i informed her of the distinct lack of support i've received from her co-workers.
"well, you know we have empty apartments right now..."
"... and i'm living somewhere else and being forced to pay rent for an apartment i'm not using."
i walked out, updated gd and the two of us were steaming about the fact that they're worried about not making maximal profit and i'm worrying about not being able to afford food. what a bunch of greedy bastards, as soon as i'm out of there they won't be getting any more referrals from me - by that i mean to say that i'll be sure to spread the word of their attitudes through any channel available.
...
i walked past the park next door, and was pleasantly surprised to find that during the summer all of the kids' bars and decorative features turn into a miniature water park, with a fountain in the middle. the neighbourhood kids were out in force having a whale of a time :)
shane mauss - mating season: as he was describing the theory of how people walk on two legs because women like stuff, gd complained about the chicken no longer being edible and i found myself rushing off to the supermarket to buy some more. coincidence? it's a great show, what he lacks in execution he makes up for in wit.
we watched a few episodes of blue exorcist over dinner, and i read the wonderful tale of ahmed sadiq before making myself a salad. now there's a story of justice being served. powerful, painful justice.
Friday, June 20, 2014
supertongue montreal introduction - part i
so we didn't get her montreal bagels or smoked meat. and the poutine apparently wasn't all that.
the itinerary:
friday the 13th
x 6.40am pickup
x home, shower, food
x keys for duplication
x underground downtown
x plateau / mont royal record stores
x boxing
x party
saturday
x blood donation
x brunch
- foufounes électriques
x the village
sunday
x atwater market
x old montreal
- parc la fontaine
x mont royal
x tam tams
x l'artère
the details
friday:
i knew it was going to be a rough weekend, but i'm pretty sure it didn't need to start with four hours of painful restlessness; my brain as much to blame as my restless legs.
the cruel, wet friday morning saw me yawning while i waited at the bus station, sitting with everything i needed to be productive except motivation.
introducing supertongue to my place, non-stop debating.
a phone call from revenu québec informing me that my file had been processed, which i already knew because they'd sent me the amount owed.
going to gd's work to pick up her keys, making copies for myself.
trying and failing to walk downtown because a horrible downpour forced us underground.
jugo juice shake fail. supertongue speaks french fluently, apparently the guy working there doesn't.
both exhausted, we headed back to my apartment to rest. and watch 20 years of ufc, so it was only a kind-of rest. it's a must-watch!
i was disappointed to see that instead of the weekend being a shitty day followed by two decent days, it would be two shitty days followed by a decent day. not cool.
i went to gd's apartment - now dubbed "home" - to test my new keys, and passed out on the couch. a nap becomes the deepest slumber when there's a time limit! i woke up still in dream-space, with reality seeming distorted and in a distinctly altered state of mind. so much so that i questioned my own sense of self as i made my way to the metro.
i was upset by my kickboxing coach posting the following:
"how a female dresses is her advertisement. if a female shows half of her body, she's asking to be disrespected."
really? if you think that, you're an asshole. what i really wanted to ask him was if his wearing fighting shorts is his way of asking to be disrespected... unfortunately, i can't say anything without messing with our instructor / student relationship so i have to keep my disrespecting his opinions to myself.
gd was going to join us at the fights, and she'd told me she'd be done in forty five minutes so supertongue and i went to her work to wait for her. forty five minutes turned into ninety minutes, and then gd became impatient with our impatience and it was supposed to be a fun evening. if i had known beforehand we would have gone straight there and asked gd to join us, and she probably would have bailed because until we were almost there she didn't actually realize that we were going to see live fights and not just watch something at a sports bar :S
we struggled to find dinner on the way, experienced taxi drama because the cab we ordered didn't arrive even though his gps signal said we were on the same intersection and eventually arrived after intermission, having missed three of my gym buddies in the ring.
$%!@.
at least there were some good second-half bouts.
saturday:
supertongue and i went to hot sauce, a lesbian party, to introduce her to the scene. the bouncer was a short, dumpy angry girl who tried very hard to keep me out in spite of the fact that i was accompanied by a woman and had paid entrance. the music was eclectic and eardrum-damaging loud, but overall the party was good and we spent a fun hour or two on the dancefloor.
the nightbus was simple enough, we ran a stupid-a.m. poutine mission (i picked up deliciously greasy salt and vinegar fries) and we crashed at my apartment around 4.30am.
...
at 9am i got up half-asleep. i was excited to see the first pieces of work on my comics, then woke supertongue up and we took a long metro ride all the way to radisson. napping well along the way.
jesus, the toilets are badly situated! the designer of the mall should be seated on the sherbrooke end, fed fast-acting laxatives and kicked hard in the shins as he gets up to go.
my first canadian blood donation on behalf of vfmp was friendly and pleasant. and i was so pleased that i didn't pass out! the point of the donation was to be part of an effort to convince the canadian government that screening sexually active male homosexuals is stupid.
there was some awkwardness with supertongue and the guys, but not too much. we headed out before them to meet up at aux vivres, and we'd almost boarded the metro when i realized that i'd left my jacket behind. that was close!
we visited a record store on mont royal that gave me the wanna-buy blues.
aux vivres: the food was delicious as always, supertongue and i went halves on blueberry pancakes and chana "sandwiches". there was decadent overeating, funny chatter and a gorgeous blonde waitress who seemed quite into me; i wanted to wingman for supertongue and see if i couldn't refocus the waitress' attentions but i don't think i have what it takes :P
we went to jean talon market, milled around and then decided to split up and rest because we were both exhausted. i woke up just before gd's station with a start as the metro jolted sharply before stopping, otherwise i might have missed it :P
i didn't exactly rest, but i did end up feeling much better. hummus on top of chana on top of supertongue's mother's amazing home-made hummus seemed like a bad idea, but i only thought that through after eating :(
it took a while to wake supertongue up by phone, and we agreed to meet up at berri-uqam. when i left i realized just how tired i was and worried that my lightheadedness was caused by too much post-donation exercise. it was a gorgeous post-rain dark-blue dusk.
we visited a really cool little live acts pub across the road from the station, then walked around trying to find a cash machine. the village was disappointingly quiet, so that sucked, but we got to see a bit of a great performance that was part of les francofolies. we walked all the way up st laurent, seeing rory macdonald win his fight along the way, and arrived at mont royal quite late. plan b (the bar) really was our plan b.
and that was the end of our night.
*my* night ended with ice cream and chocolate before bed.
sunday:
in spite of sleeping well, i was still buggered. gd and i had a good, late morning while supertongue didn't answer her phone - i was just about to go over and check on her, worrying that she hadn't made it home or something, when she finally responded.
my mom and i had a fight over skype - i think it was over how i'm dealing with my employer's silence over my papers.
i carved up a watermelon but had to abandon it to pick supertongue up from the metro; it was a glorious day, and the spores kind of made it feel like it was snowing. we demolished the watermelon when we got back.
supertongue and i had an argument with gd's friend who'd come over for a haircut, who's an anti-vaxxer. gd kept to the sidelines and although things got pretty heated i think it went okay.
i took supertongue for a walk along the lachine canal and through atwater market before we headed to old montreal, where she decided that she does, in fact, want to move here. it was a great day to visit the old port, and we caught a bit of a science show for kids that was a lot of fun. and made us both feel good about our french :P
[continued...]
the itinerary:
friday the 13th
x 6.40am pickup
x home, shower, food
x keys for duplication
x underground downtown
x plateau / mont royal record stores
x boxing
x party
saturday
x blood donation
x brunch
- foufounes électriques
x the village
sunday
x atwater market
x old montreal
- parc la fontaine
x mont royal
x tam tams
x l'artère
the details
friday:
i knew it was going to be a rough weekend, but i'm pretty sure it didn't need to start with four hours of painful restlessness; my brain as much to blame as my restless legs.
the cruel, wet friday morning saw me yawning while i waited at the bus station, sitting with everything i needed to be productive except motivation.
introducing supertongue to my place, non-stop debating.
a phone call from revenu québec informing me that my file had been processed, which i already knew because they'd sent me the amount owed.
going to gd's work to pick up her keys, making copies for myself.
trying and failing to walk downtown because a horrible downpour forced us underground.
jugo juice shake fail. supertongue speaks french fluently, apparently the guy working there doesn't.
both exhausted, we headed back to my apartment to rest. and watch 20 years of ufc, so it was only a kind-of rest. it's a must-watch!
i was disappointed to see that instead of the weekend being a shitty day followed by two decent days, it would be two shitty days followed by a decent day. not cool.
i went to gd's apartment - now dubbed "home" - to test my new keys, and passed out on the couch. a nap becomes the deepest slumber when there's a time limit! i woke up still in dream-space, with reality seeming distorted and in a distinctly altered state of mind. so much so that i questioned my own sense of self as i made my way to the metro.
i was upset by my kickboxing coach posting the following:
"how a female dresses is her advertisement. if a female shows half of her body, she's asking to be disrespected."
really? if you think that, you're an asshole. what i really wanted to ask him was if his wearing fighting shorts is his way of asking to be disrespected... unfortunately, i can't say anything without messing with our instructor / student relationship so i have to keep my disrespecting his opinions to myself.
gd was going to join us at the fights, and she'd told me she'd be done in forty five minutes so supertongue and i went to her work to wait for her. forty five minutes turned into ninety minutes, and then gd became impatient with our impatience and it was supposed to be a fun evening. if i had known beforehand we would have gone straight there and asked gd to join us, and she probably would have bailed because until we were almost there she didn't actually realize that we were going to see live fights and not just watch something at a sports bar :S
we struggled to find dinner on the way, experienced taxi drama because the cab we ordered didn't arrive even though his gps signal said we were on the same intersection and eventually arrived after intermission, having missed three of my gym buddies in the ring.
$%!@.
at least there were some good second-half bouts.
saturday:
supertongue and i went to hot sauce, a lesbian party, to introduce her to the scene. the bouncer was a short, dumpy angry girl who tried very hard to keep me out in spite of the fact that i was accompanied by a woman and had paid entrance. the music was eclectic and eardrum-damaging loud, but overall the party was good and we spent a fun hour or two on the dancefloor.
the nightbus was simple enough, we ran a stupid-a.m. poutine mission (i picked up deliciously greasy salt and vinegar fries) and we crashed at my apartment around 4.30am.
...
at 9am i got up half-asleep. i was excited to see the first pieces of work on my comics, then woke supertongue up and we took a long metro ride all the way to radisson. napping well along the way.
jesus, the toilets are badly situated! the designer of the mall should be seated on the sherbrooke end, fed fast-acting laxatives and kicked hard in the shins as he gets up to go.
my first canadian blood donation on behalf of vfmp was friendly and pleasant. and i was so pleased that i didn't pass out! the point of the donation was to be part of an effort to convince the canadian government that screening sexually active male homosexuals is stupid.
there was some awkwardness with supertongue and the guys, but not too much. we headed out before them to meet up at aux vivres, and we'd almost boarded the metro when i realized that i'd left my jacket behind. that was close!
we visited a record store on mont royal that gave me the wanna-buy blues.
aux vivres: the food was delicious as always, supertongue and i went halves on blueberry pancakes and chana "sandwiches". there was decadent overeating, funny chatter and a gorgeous blonde waitress who seemed quite into me; i wanted to wingman for supertongue and see if i couldn't refocus the waitress' attentions but i don't think i have what it takes :P
we went to jean talon market, milled around and then decided to split up and rest because we were both exhausted. i woke up just before gd's station with a start as the metro jolted sharply before stopping, otherwise i might have missed it :P
i didn't exactly rest, but i did end up feeling much better. hummus on top of chana on top of supertongue's mother's amazing home-made hummus seemed like a bad idea, but i only thought that through after eating :(
it took a while to wake supertongue up by phone, and we agreed to meet up at berri-uqam. when i left i realized just how tired i was and worried that my lightheadedness was caused by too much post-donation exercise. it was a gorgeous post-rain dark-blue dusk.
we visited a really cool little live acts pub across the road from the station, then walked around trying to find a cash machine. the village was disappointingly quiet, so that sucked, but we got to see a bit of a great performance that was part of les francofolies. we walked all the way up st laurent, seeing rory macdonald win his fight along the way, and arrived at mont royal quite late. plan b (the bar) really was our plan b.
and that was the end of our night.
*my* night ended with ice cream and chocolate before bed.
sunday:
in spite of sleeping well, i was still buggered. gd and i had a good, late morning while supertongue didn't answer her phone - i was just about to go over and check on her, worrying that she hadn't made it home or something, when she finally responded.
my mom and i had a fight over skype - i think it was over how i'm dealing with my employer's silence over my papers.
i carved up a watermelon but had to abandon it to pick supertongue up from the metro; it was a glorious day, and the spores kind of made it feel like it was snowing. we demolished the watermelon when we got back.
supertongue and i had an argument with gd's friend who'd come over for a haircut, who's an anti-vaxxer. gd kept to the sidelines and although things got pretty heated i think it went okay.
i took supertongue for a walk along the lachine canal and through atwater market before we headed to old montreal, where she decided that she does, in fact, want to move here. it was a great day to visit the old port, and we caught a bit of a science show for kids that was a lot of fun. and made us both feel good about our french :P
[continued...]
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
on the offensive - part iii
[... continued]
--- i posted an ad for my apartment in the morning, with gd's guidance for the french translation, and contacted the office to hear that they'd finally sent off my permit application. at least i'm finally waiting on the people i *should* be waiting on...
i met up with rabbit at midi 6, had lunch before moving to a nearby coffee shop while we planned and schemed. i've got a good sense of what's been happening and i've pushed her to be a little less compromising on her role as captain. we talked plans for sunday's slam and then merch ideas into the ground.
the "god shot" espresso was interesting, but i won't be drinking it again.
we did a little bit of poetry crit, and then rabbit had to leave - just as gd was returning from studiotec.
...
someone had suggested to gd that she might be pregnant. she's certain she's not, but neither of us would be unhappy if that was the case. that's a great place to be, i think :)
...
hannibal is a good series, and i think so even though i'm not invested. it's dark and sneaky, most of the characters are pretty convincing and in general it's fun to watch and think about.
i posted pre-boxing, then hurried out to make the class on time. warming up felt like being in a sauna, and i worked as hard as i could but halfway through my arms started failing. we ended the class with a really tough session on the bags and conditioning... it was all i could do to muster enough strength to finish the conditioning, and i was so weak and dizzy that i sat in a corner nibbling on a clif bar until i could get up without wobbling.
i did a quick shopping run, washed some dishes and had the full salad alone for the first time in a long time. i returned to gd's and vegged out in front of loads more hannibal, and then we went to bed.
--- yesterday:
what's up with the sexism here? is it just more noticeable than elsewhere? gd was telling me an aggravating story about a stupid taxi driver she'd encountered, and i was as upset with her for not reporting him as i was with him for being an asshole.
i ran into a friend from the gym on the metro, and she convinced me to copy my ad from kijiji to craigslist if i want to find a replacement quickly. so that's what i did when i got home... instead of getting some sleep, which i needed because i was still pretty tired. also in lieu of sleep was my running off to print flyers and take them to l'artère. on the way i'd manage to wash my feet with rain water... flip-flops. not so good for my arches, not so good for keeping my feet clean, and not so good for keeping dry.
i had a tasty but not-so-protein-y lunch while trying to clean up my netbook, finding a whole bunch of things that i need to expose gd to before trashing. i stepped out into a gorgeous, sunny afternoon to meet up with vector and introduce him to my comics. some of the introduction was simple, some of it difficult, but he's suggested a little rewrite to the beginning that makes a whole lot of sense, and he's really excited to be a part of the project. even if i just end up with him, things are looking up!
after a couple of hours with him, i went home and chatted to my mother. after settling on a plan to keep me afloat while i wait for my permit to be authorized, she made a comment about wanting to switch back to blackberry because her iphone's emailing is screwed up and i decided to give her some support.
$%#@!!!
she's had a very frustrating time with her iphone because the professional idiots providing tech support for her isp are utterly incompetent. their antiquated mail servers are incompatible with iphones, and so i helped her configure her gmail account so that she can use it and still keep her old email address. setting up gmail for that wasn't a problem, but connecting her phone to her gmail account?
firstly, an alert saying "network error" is NOT the same as one saying "device not authorized, use https://www.google.com/accounts/DisplayUnlockCaptcha". i would love to find all those responsible for that special little gem, grab each one by the collar and slap them silly.
secondly, iphone's inability to allow gmail users to send using aliases is stunningly backward and primitive. we only found this workaround today, and between skype screen sharing and talking my mother through each iphone step the process of setting up her email has been a long, drawn-out and rage-inducing nightmare. it might have taken five minutes if i had her phone and passwords in hand, but at the end of the day i want *her* to be able to do this shit herself and iphone, famous for its simplicity and ease-of-use, has failed abysmally.
so we've taken a break and we're going to try again tomorrow or something. in the meanwhile, at least she can receive and reply to emails correctly. that's something.
[continued...]
i met up with rabbit at midi 6, had lunch before moving to a nearby coffee shop while we planned and schemed. i've got a good sense of what's been happening and i've pushed her to be a little less compromising on her role as captain. we talked plans for sunday's slam and then merch ideas into the ground.
the "god shot" espresso was interesting, but i won't be drinking it again.
we did a little bit of poetry crit, and then rabbit had to leave - just as gd was returning from studiotec.
...
someone had suggested to gd that she might be pregnant. she's certain she's not, but neither of us would be unhappy if that was the case. that's a great place to be, i think :)
...
hannibal is a good series, and i think so even though i'm not invested. it's dark and sneaky, most of the characters are pretty convincing and in general it's fun to watch and think about.
i posted pre-boxing, then hurried out to make the class on time. warming up felt like being in a sauna, and i worked as hard as i could but halfway through my arms started failing. we ended the class with a really tough session on the bags and conditioning... it was all i could do to muster enough strength to finish the conditioning, and i was so weak and dizzy that i sat in a corner nibbling on a clif bar until i could get up without wobbling.
i did a quick shopping run, washed some dishes and had the full salad alone for the first time in a long time. i returned to gd's and vegged out in front of loads more hannibal, and then we went to bed.
what's up with the sexism here? is it just more noticeable than elsewhere? gd was telling me an aggravating story about a stupid taxi driver she'd encountered, and i was as upset with her for not reporting him as i was with him for being an asshole.
i ran into a friend from the gym on the metro, and she convinced me to copy my ad from kijiji to craigslist if i want to find a replacement quickly. so that's what i did when i got home... instead of getting some sleep, which i needed because i was still pretty tired. also in lieu of sleep was my running off to print flyers and take them to l'artère. on the way i'd manage to wash my feet with rain water... flip-flops. not so good for my arches, not so good for keeping my feet clean, and not so good for keeping dry.
i had a tasty but not-so-protein-y lunch while trying to clean up my netbook, finding a whole bunch of things that i need to expose gd to before trashing. i stepped out into a gorgeous, sunny afternoon to meet up with vector and introduce him to my comics. some of the introduction was simple, some of it difficult, but he's suggested a little rewrite to the beginning that makes a whole lot of sense, and he's really excited to be a part of the project. even if i just end up with him, things are looking up!
after a couple of hours with him, i went home and chatted to my mother. after settling on a plan to keep me afloat while i wait for my permit to be authorized, she made a comment about wanting to switch back to blackberry because her iphone's emailing is screwed up and i decided to give her some support.
$%#@!!!
she's had a very frustrating time with her iphone because the professional idiots providing tech support for her isp are utterly incompetent. their antiquated mail servers are incompatible with iphones, and so i helped her configure her gmail account so that she can use it and still keep her old email address. setting up gmail for that wasn't a problem, but connecting her phone to her gmail account?
firstly, an alert saying "network error" is NOT the same as one saying "device not authorized, use https://www.google.com/accounts/DisplayUnlockCaptcha". i would love to find all those responsible for that special little gem, grab each one by the collar and slap them silly.
secondly, iphone's inability to allow gmail users to send using aliases is stunningly backward and primitive. we only found this workaround today, and between skype screen sharing and talking my mother through each iphone step the process of setting up her email has been a long, drawn-out and rage-inducing nightmare. it might have taken five minutes if i had her phone and passwords in hand, but at the end of the day i want *her* to be able to do this shit herself and iphone, famous for its simplicity and ease-of-use, has failed abysmally.
so we've taken a break and we're going to try again tomorrow or something. in the meanwhile, at least she can receive and reply to emails correctly. that's something.
[continued...]
Friday, June 06, 2014
vegan ice-cream soothes aches and pains
oh, man. my upper arms are sore, i think i may have strained them. i've trained twice this week, and both times i was tired before i even began. i've been careful about my caffeine intake, so i don't think that's the problem...
--- wednesday:
i sat at starbucks and worked on my comics for an hour, making interesting and satisfying progress. i did some shopping and was on my way home when i passed a house where the dog was standing at the gate barking incessantly. there were neighbours around, and none of them were doing anything about it. i walked up to the gate and proffered my hand. i tried to make myself as non-threatening as possible, but the poor dog continued barking and slowly backed away until he disappeared around the corner, at which point i got up and left. if i'd been one of the neighbours that would have been the point at which i walked up to the front door and hit the buzzer with the same frequency as the barking.
*bzzz*
*bzzz*
*bzzz*
*bzzz*
until the owners came out, at which point i'd ask
"can you hear that?"
"can you hear that?"
"can you hear that?"
"can you hear that?"
and then shout at them for neglecting their dog who's in obvious need of some attention. your dog is outing you as assholes. you should see to that..
--- boxing was high powered in spite of my feeling weak. i bowed out of impact and beat the crap out of the bags instead - having to be careful with my neck does inspire a fair amount of frustration that needs release, i'll admit - and watched as the big dude from two weeks ago took weak-ass punches from some new guy. why a new guy is allowed into the advanced class is beyond me, but i called the big guy out for not telling his partner to go harder. while he manned up with a sheepish grin on his face, the assistant coach saw what was going on and walked over to demonstrate; i don't think he'll be messing around again anytime soon :P
one of the guys bought my sparring headgear, so that's done. at least someone's going to get use out of it, and the extra cash in my pocket certainly doesn't hurt.
--- yesterday:
i awoke in the middle of the night with my neck at an unfortunately awkward angle, i got up to stretch it out and returned to bed with a strange, itchy little welt on my left bicep. i was half-asleep and decided to deal with it in the morning, by which time it had disappeared. what the hell am i supposed to do with that experience??
there were odd dreams, some about normal experiences, then an exhibition of augmented reality tech followed by standing in a line for a club playing "fringe" with the bouncer saying "i hope you guys like country music"; a bald black man put on a an amusing fake afro ruby-rod-style and then i woke up.
...
i accompanied gd on her first steps to getting her divorce formalized: she separated from her husband years ago and he's remarried since, but that's in a different country and none of her paperwork here has been filed...
[arguing about the weather with montrealers requires safe words]
we went to several places, and on a number of occasions i experienced the weirdest phenomenon: strangers walking straight towards me only to go around me at the last moment... when i wasn't standing in their way. what the hell is wrong with people?!
i had a meeting with vector scheduled, so gd joined me for yeh! (i took too much, but their sorbet is so good i handled it like a champ) and we milled around a book store for a little while. i find myself in book stores lamenting the senseless waste of paper and the immense stupidity of selling digital copies at similar prices. can we 2014, please?
vector and i had a good meeting, we went over what we'd already discussed and refined a couple of ideas. later he'd send me his sketches - the dude is talented! shit, if things with the present four illustrators don't work out i'm going to propose he works with me on my comics!
speaking of comics, i'm excited because airplane's finally ready to start scripting his own comic. this is going to be awesome ^_^
--- i was thinking about the angry girl from last week's sexism arguments and something that gd suggested: it makes sense that she's a man-hater if she approaches every man with suspicion, brutal judgement and penis-shrivelling tactics. self-fulfilling prophecy, the only guys who would sleep with a girl like that are desperate or callous, regardless of whether she's physically attractive or not.
--- the afternoon reminded me of a poem i once wrote about feedback. only it was very different.
kickboxing was decent, though i was sore and tired and at the end was dizzy and slightly nauseous. i learned that my shoulders are positioned badly when i kick and that my feet are badly aligned for anything other than side kicks. that's not good.
for the second night in a row i felt dehydrated after training. i was going to meet with the slam team but only rabbit and i were ready... we talked about it, and it seems that the team is in dire need of leadership; i'd happily take on the mantle if i wasn't the last in and therefore the most likely to rub everyone the wrong way. we're going to have to be tactful. not my strong suit.
...
rice dream's cocoa marble fudge just joined so delicious in making an unbelievably strong case for non-dairy desserts! they're not good substitutes for dairy ice-cream, they're better than. if you like ice-cream, you need to try these brands!
--- we got a decent night's sleep last night, and i woke up with alter bridge - zero stuck in my head. i showed gd my high school yearbook photo, and found myself retelling the story of the only time i've ever classically bullied someone. who was a real bully himself, so i don't feel so bad about it.
two of us ran into him in the washroom, dragged him into a clean stall, grabbed his legs and dunked his head into the bowl - only bumping him once accidentally, and fortunately not too hard. i flushed once or twice, we laughed nervously in the face of the absurd, and escorted him back to his class. the top half of his body was soaked, but before the teacher could say anything i gave him a very serious look and said "please excuse him, sir, he's having a very bad day."
which did the trick, and the incident was never formally addressed.
i sat at starbucks and worked on my comics for an hour, making interesting and satisfying progress. i did some shopping and was on my way home when i passed a house where the dog was standing at the gate barking incessantly. there were neighbours around, and none of them were doing anything about it. i walked up to the gate and proffered my hand. i tried to make myself as non-threatening as possible, but the poor dog continued barking and slowly backed away until he disappeared around the corner, at which point i got up and left. if i'd been one of the neighbours that would have been the point at which i walked up to the front door and hit the buzzer with the same frequency as the barking.
*bzzz*
*bzzz*
*bzzz*
*bzzz*
until the owners came out, at which point i'd ask
"can you hear that?"
"can you hear that?"
"can you hear that?"
"can you hear that?"
and then shout at them for neglecting their dog who's in obvious need of some attention. your dog is outing you as assholes. you should see to that..
one of the guys bought my sparring headgear, so that's done. at least someone's going to get use out of it, and the extra cash in my pocket certainly doesn't hurt.
i awoke in the middle of the night with my neck at an unfortunately awkward angle, i got up to stretch it out and returned to bed with a strange, itchy little welt on my left bicep. i was half-asleep and decided to deal with it in the morning, by which time it had disappeared. what the hell am i supposed to do with that experience??
there were odd dreams, some about normal experiences, then an exhibition of augmented reality tech followed by standing in a line for a club playing "fringe" with the bouncer saying "i hope you guys like country music"; a bald black man put on a an amusing fake afro ruby-rod-style and then i woke up.
...
i accompanied gd on her first steps to getting her divorce formalized: she separated from her husband years ago and he's remarried since, but that's in a different country and none of her paperwork here has been filed...
[arguing about the weather with montrealers requires safe words]
we went to several places, and on a number of occasions i experienced the weirdest phenomenon: strangers walking straight towards me only to go around me at the last moment... when i wasn't standing in their way. what the hell is wrong with people?!
i had a meeting with vector scheduled, so gd joined me for yeh! (i took too much, but their sorbet is so good i handled it like a champ) and we milled around a book store for a little while. i find myself in book stores lamenting the senseless waste of paper and the immense stupidity of selling digital copies at similar prices. can we 2014, please?
vector and i had a good meeting, we went over what we'd already discussed and refined a couple of ideas. later he'd send me his sketches - the dude is talented! shit, if things with the present four illustrators don't work out i'm going to propose he works with me on my comics!
speaking of comics, i'm excited because airplane's finally ready to start scripting his own comic. this is going to be awesome ^_^
kickboxing was decent, though i was sore and tired and at the end was dizzy and slightly nauseous. i learned that my shoulders are positioned badly when i kick and that my feet are badly aligned for anything other than side kicks. that's not good.
for the second night in a row i felt dehydrated after training. i was going to meet with the slam team but only rabbit and i were ready... we talked about it, and it seems that the team is in dire need of leadership; i'd happily take on the mantle if i wasn't the last in and therefore the most likely to rub everyone the wrong way. we're going to have to be tactful. not my strong suit.
...
rice dream's cocoa marble fudge just joined so delicious in making an unbelievably strong case for non-dairy desserts! they're not good substitutes for dairy ice-cream, they're better than. if you like ice-cream, you need to try these brands!
two of us ran into him in the washroom, dragged him into a clean stall, grabbed his legs and dunked his head into the bowl - only bumping him once accidentally, and fortunately not too hard. i flushed once or twice, we laughed nervously in the face of the absurd, and escorted him back to his class. the top half of his body was soaked, but before the teacher could say anything i gave him a very serious look and said "please excuse him, sir, he's having a very bad day."
which did the trick, and the incident was never formally addressed.
Tuesday, June 03, 2014
where gender wars end frisbeer begins part i
last thoughts on the shooting:
our sexual assault problem is nuanced, layered, and not easily solved by a hashtag and this is what most kids learn and the news coverage isn't helping.
--- friday:
terms and conditions may apply contains a lot of material i was familiar with already, but some of the things i didn't know were deeply disturbing. anyone who uses internet services or has a smartphone should watch this documentary.
boxing: i felt like a machine during the warmup and shadowboxing. i was thrown another new guy and introduced as our coach's "most experienced boxer" without any sarcasm or joking, and was then partnered with an experienced mma guy for pad work which was a relief. after we finished the class with impact, i informed the coach of my neck news and for the first time he took my health seriously. he told me that i need to stop impact as well, and that from now on i need to stick to pads or bags and that's it.
...
one of the boxers is studying his doctorate at concordia, and he told me about a 70k grant they have. that's... that's pretty good incentive to take a year off to complete my thesis. i should listen to my mother and go speak to them sometime, even if i'm not going to be able to go back to university for another half a year to a year at least.
i hurriedly made and ate a salad, finishing just before vfmp and his boyfriend picked me up to go to chimera. chimera was closing, but they gave us a loyalty card with a free drink on it and now we know when to go back :)
we milled around a bit, eventually arriving at kokkino cafe. not only do they have soy and almond alternatives, they're puzzled by the fact that anyone charges extra for them. the owner was really nice and the coffee was excellent, the atmosphere in general is great and the music was excellent. how did i never walk in there before?!
the guys dropped me off at gd's at the end of the night, just in time for both of us to fall into bed, exhausted.
--- saturday:
it was a gorgeous 13 degrees! the weather felt perfect for being outside, and it'd only get warmer. i came home, continued fighting with the internet about #YesAllWomen and eventually gave up. i can't keep fighting with people whose interests i care about for the right to fight for them. it's the same with israeli activists, vegans and feminists. and i was reminded of something i say a lot: i don't want to be a part of any club that won't accept me as i am.
that goes for politics as well as nightclubs, i guess.
right after deciding to quit the argument, bnw got in touch and explained that the reason she hadn't been in touch for a while was trouble at work with sexual harassment. fortunately it's all resolved, but the story itself really upset me and at the same time as i said to her "you should have reported him!" i realized that in her position she really couldn't know if that was the right thing to do or not :(
...
so... "the tam-tams" has become the name of the place the event occurs, and not just the event itself? that was confusing. on my way there i stopped at a coffee shop and asked the guy behind the counter if they had soy or almond milk. he gave me a funny look and explained that he didn't understand me, so i tried again, slowly pronouncing the two words and worrying that the way i say almonds doesn't translate in french (it totally does). he called for help and the other guy understood perfectly. while he was preparing my coffee i looked to the right, where a giant sign proclaimed, in french, soy and almond milk available.
i don't know which of us is dumber.
the problem with walking with a covered drink is that you don't see how it's sloshing, and so over the course of the next fifteen minutes i must have spilled about a third of my coffee on myself, with a nice big splash on my shorts and some ugly drops on my shirt. that only fueled my cursing at each bus that i missed, two of them only because they ran red lights. aarrrrgh!
no matter, the afternoon frisbeer and soccer was absolutely brilliant! we all had a great time, and after a couple of hours i left to go to bnw's with a big grin on my face ^_^
i picked up a quick falafel from la panthère verte while pondering my disengagement from the rape culture / sexism discussion.
my metro timing was excellent, and bnw offered me amazing coffee while we discussed the details of her horrible ordeal and then talked a bit about the comics. then i left, hurrying to gd's so we could go and watch a movie.
it's not clear why they evacuated the de la concorde metro station, but it seemed pretty serious as they had running police, paramedics and firemen and the whole area was shut down for about an hour. during that time it became clear to me just how impossible relying on laval's public transport is... if i *had* taken a bus, i would have arrived at gd's about an hour after i eventually did. that's insane.
bnw had loaned me her copy of the sandman: the dream hunters and i read half of it on the way. what a gorgeous work! i arrived in time for us to scramble to the cinema and be able to seat ourselves just as x-men: days of future past began. it's as wonderful as all the reviews say, we had an awesome time and the only thing that i felt detracted from the film was so slight that it really didn't matter.
--- sunday:
i'm glad to see that bikers are protecting maya angelou's funeral. i woke up thinking that everyone should picket wbc funerals, with signs saying things like "god hates people who hate in his name". the only thing i have to add on the topic of maya angelou is this article on her pride in her history. it gives some of her poetry even more of an edge than it has already.
[continued...]
our sexual assault problem is nuanced, layered, and not easily solved by a hashtag and this is what most kids learn and the news coverage isn't helping.
terms and conditions may apply contains a lot of material i was familiar with already, but some of the things i didn't know were deeply disturbing. anyone who uses internet services or has a smartphone should watch this documentary.
boxing: i felt like a machine during the warmup and shadowboxing. i was thrown another new guy and introduced as our coach's "most experienced boxer" without any sarcasm or joking, and was then partnered with an experienced mma guy for pad work which was a relief. after we finished the class with impact, i informed the coach of my neck news and for the first time he took my health seriously. he told me that i need to stop impact as well, and that from now on i need to stick to pads or bags and that's it.
...
one of the boxers is studying his doctorate at concordia, and he told me about a 70k grant they have. that's... that's pretty good incentive to take a year off to complete my thesis. i should listen to my mother and go speak to them sometime, even if i'm not going to be able to go back to university for another half a year to a year at least.
i hurriedly made and ate a salad, finishing just before vfmp and his boyfriend picked me up to go to chimera. chimera was closing, but they gave us a loyalty card with a free drink on it and now we know when to go back :)
we milled around a bit, eventually arriving at kokkino cafe. not only do they have soy and almond alternatives, they're puzzled by the fact that anyone charges extra for them. the owner was really nice and the coffee was excellent, the atmosphere in general is great and the music was excellent. how did i never walk in there before?!
the guys dropped me off at gd's at the end of the night, just in time for both of us to fall into bed, exhausted.
it was a gorgeous 13 degrees! the weather felt perfect for being outside, and it'd only get warmer. i came home, continued fighting with the internet about #YesAllWomen and eventually gave up. i can't keep fighting with people whose interests i care about for the right to fight for them. it's the same with israeli activists, vegans and feminists. and i was reminded of something i say a lot: i don't want to be a part of any club that won't accept me as i am.
that goes for politics as well as nightclubs, i guess.
right after deciding to quit the argument, bnw got in touch and explained that the reason she hadn't been in touch for a while was trouble at work with sexual harassment. fortunately it's all resolved, but the story itself really upset me and at the same time as i said to her "you should have reported him!" i realized that in her position she really couldn't know if that was the right thing to do or not :(
...
so... "the tam-tams" has become the name of the place the event occurs, and not just the event itself? that was confusing. on my way there i stopped at a coffee shop and asked the guy behind the counter if they had soy or almond milk. he gave me a funny look and explained that he didn't understand me, so i tried again, slowly pronouncing the two words and worrying that the way i say almonds doesn't translate in french (it totally does). he called for help and the other guy understood perfectly. while he was preparing my coffee i looked to the right, where a giant sign proclaimed, in french, soy and almond milk available.
i don't know which of us is dumber.
the problem with walking with a covered drink is that you don't see how it's sloshing, and so over the course of the next fifteen minutes i must have spilled about a third of my coffee on myself, with a nice big splash on my shorts and some ugly drops on my shirt. that only fueled my cursing at each bus that i missed, two of them only because they ran red lights. aarrrrgh!
no matter, the afternoon frisbeer and soccer was absolutely brilliant! we all had a great time, and after a couple of hours i left to go to bnw's with a big grin on my face ^_^
i picked up a quick falafel from la panthère verte while pondering my disengagement from the rape culture / sexism discussion.
my metro timing was excellent, and bnw offered me amazing coffee while we discussed the details of her horrible ordeal and then talked a bit about the comics. then i left, hurrying to gd's so we could go and watch a movie.
it's not clear why they evacuated the de la concorde metro station, but it seemed pretty serious as they had running police, paramedics and firemen and the whole area was shut down for about an hour. during that time it became clear to me just how impossible relying on laval's public transport is... if i *had* taken a bus, i would have arrived at gd's about an hour after i eventually did. that's insane.
bnw had loaned me her copy of the sandman: the dream hunters and i read half of it on the way. what a gorgeous work! i arrived in time for us to scramble to the cinema and be able to seat ourselves just as x-men: days of future past began. it's as wonderful as all the reviews say, we had an awesome time and the only thing that i felt detracted from the film was so slight that it really didn't matter.
i'm glad to see that bikers are protecting maya angelou's funeral. i woke up thinking that everyone should picket wbc funerals, with signs saying things like "god hates people who hate in his name". the only thing i have to add on the topic of maya angelou is this article on her pride in her history. it gives some of her poetry even more of an edge than it has already.
[continued...]
Saturday, May 31, 2014
rape culture: almost clear
a gentleman's guide to rape culture is another tough-to-read that's extremely poignant.
most of the article is correct, sadly for all of us. but there's one illogical statement that brings a black mark:
"how are you part of rape culture? well, i hate to say it, but it’s because you’re a man."
that's not true. in the sense that he's using, women in our culture are just as much a part of rape culture. the problem arises when he confuses the word "culture" by meaning both the culture and the social environment that that culture produces.
however, the fact that it's not true doesn't mean that he's not right to say that all men have a responsibility to do something about rape culture. 100%.
he later goes on to define all the things that create and perpetuate rape culture. male or female, if any of those items on the list apply to you then you're a part of rape culture. if you're not a part of the solution, then you're a part of rape culture.
so well done to the author of the article for everything except that one line.
--- oh, look! a clear, complete message that doesn't make it a gender war thing.
it's a cultural problem, not a gender problem. and that means that men can be a part of the solution.
most of the article is correct, sadly for all of us. but there's one illogical statement that brings a black mark:
"how are you part of rape culture? well, i hate to say it, but it’s because you’re a man."
that's not true. in the sense that he's using, women in our culture are just as much a part of rape culture. the problem arises when he confuses the word "culture" by meaning both the culture and the social environment that that culture produces.
however, the fact that it's not true doesn't mean that he's not right to say that all men have a responsibility to do something about rape culture. 100%.
he later goes on to define all the things that create and perpetuate rape culture. male or female, if any of those items on the list apply to you then you're a part of rape culture. if you're not a part of the solution, then you're a part of rape culture.
so well done to the author of the article for everything except that one line.
it's a cultural problem, not a gender problem. and that means that men can be a part of the solution.
Friday, May 30, 2014
#YesAllWomen #NotAllMen #GenderWarsSuck
it all began with this disturbing article on earning love. it makes for extremely uncomfortable reading, but it's on the mark.
i wish i didn't know so many guys who don't get this.
i added, though, that i don't agree that it makes me suck for being a guy. that i agree with about 75% of the conclusion.
one other thing though i think is worth adding, is that guys also need to stop saying "not all guys rape", getting into a defensive corner and doing nothing further about it. we know all guys don't rape but it shouldn't only be up to women to speak out about this kind of thing. more men should be doing it too, like in this article - more guys need to stand up for women instead of just getting defensive and walking away.
i agree, and i also feel that more women need to stop defensively hating on guys for being guys as a default. there's little more offensive to me than being judged for my sex when it's such an integral part of what feminism is fighting.
both sides getting defensive doesn't help stop the problem. we need the good guys to speak out here too though, in our favour, despite some women's anger at them. that might help women feel less angry at all men, and narrow the problem to the culprits.
...
best answer i've heard to the "not all guys rape" cries is this: imagine you have a bag of m&ms, and you know 10% of them are poisonous. not all m&ms are poisonous, certainly. that doesn't mean you'd be wrong to say m&ms are dangerous.
yes, this is a good read. people need to own up to their shit, and stop perpetrating rape culture. i'm very purposefully saying people and not men, because there are plenty of women doing it as well. the two sides on this matter aren't and shouldn't be men and women. the two sides should be those who want equality and safety for all, and those who don't, of whatever sex, gender, race, etc.
i am NOT fighting against men. i am fighting against those who say i'm less then a man, whether they have a penis or not is irrelevant.
[having not read the above properly, i confused it with another version i'd read earlier and would later retract] the m&ms example! is totally fallacious. if you're equating men to m&ms, and you're eating handfuls at the same time without actually examining them first, then you're being irresponsible. i'd say the same to men about women.
i'd go with this statement if you want a valid argument.
and to go back to "not all men", this past few days have seemed to be dedicated to hating ALL men. while i'm totally on board with fighting rape culture and it upsets me no end that woman have such legitimate cause to be afraid, the number of incidents in which *i've* been labelled as part of the problem EVEN IN OTHER, UNRELATED DISCUSSIONS is deeply disturbing. what also bothers me is how many women are preaching to the choir, because the saddest part of this being an inculturated problem is that the men who perpetrate these acts are either oblivious to the fact that they're doing it or are impervious to convincing arguments.
yes, there's a problem. no, not all men are a part of it. yes, this needs to be talked about, argued about, fought about. no, it doesn't need to be fought with illogical inflammatory arguments. how about, instead of antagonizing all men and making us defensive, we figure out a way to break down the gender barrier?
every time i see the "men are raped and abused too" statistics cited i think how ridiculous it is that this is being treated as "men vs women" instead of "people need to respect other people". "no" to rape, "no" to harassment, "no" to violence, "no" to inequality.
"no" to gender wars.
--- protoplasm: rule #1 - don't be a dick. it is the only rule. it's pretty simple really, yet there are so many that just don't get it.
if someone wants you in their space, they'll invite you. and no matter who you are, what you look like, or how weird you or your tastes may be, there will always be someone that will appreciate that for what it is. and that, i think, is the bit that a lot of the types that the article talks about don't get.
forcing yourself on someone on the basis of what they look like or what you perceive from a distance without even bothering to find out what they're about is only ever going to end badly for both parties, so why put everyone through all the shit just because you can't be arsed to follow (or learn) a few simple rules of engagement?
i wish i didn't know so many guys who don't get this.
i added, though, that i don't agree that it makes me suck for being a guy. that i agree with about 75% of the conclusion.
one other thing though i think is worth adding, is that guys also need to stop saying "not all guys rape", getting into a defensive corner and doing nothing further about it. we know all guys don't rape but it shouldn't only be up to women to speak out about this kind of thing. more men should be doing it too, like in this article - more guys need to stand up for women instead of just getting defensive and walking away.
i agree, and i also feel that more women need to stop defensively hating on guys for being guys as a default. there's little more offensive to me than being judged for my sex when it's such an integral part of what feminism is fighting.
both sides getting defensive doesn't help stop the problem. we need the good guys to speak out here too though, in our favour, despite some women's anger at them. that might help women feel less angry at all men, and narrow the problem to the culprits.
...
best answer i've heard to the "not all guys rape" cries is this: imagine you have a bag of m&ms, and you know 10% of them are poisonous. not all m&ms are poisonous, certainly. that doesn't mean you'd be wrong to say m&ms are dangerous.
yes, this is a good read. people need to own up to their shit, and stop perpetrating rape culture. i'm very purposefully saying people and not men, because there are plenty of women doing it as well. the two sides on this matter aren't and shouldn't be men and women. the two sides should be those who want equality and safety for all, and those who don't, of whatever sex, gender, race, etc.
i am NOT fighting against men. i am fighting against those who say i'm less then a man, whether they have a penis or not is irrelevant.
[having not read the above properly, i confused it with another version i'd read earlier and would later retract] the m&ms example! is totally fallacious. if you're equating men to m&ms, and you're eating handfuls at the same time without actually examining them first, then you're being irresponsible. i'd say the same to men about women.
i'd go with this statement if you want a valid argument.
and to go back to "not all men", this past few days have seemed to be dedicated to hating ALL men. while i'm totally on board with fighting rape culture and it upsets me no end that woman have such legitimate cause to be afraid, the number of incidents in which *i've* been labelled as part of the problem EVEN IN OTHER, UNRELATED DISCUSSIONS is deeply disturbing. what also bothers me is how many women are preaching to the choir, because the saddest part of this being an inculturated problem is that the men who perpetrate these acts are either oblivious to the fact that they're doing it or are impervious to convincing arguments.
yes, there's a problem. no, not all men are a part of it. yes, this needs to be talked about, argued about, fought about. no, it doesn't need to be fought with illogical inflammatory arguments. how about, instead of antagonizing all men and making us defensive, we figure out a way to break down the gender barrier?
every time i see the "men are raped and abused too" statistics cited i think how ridiculous it is that this is being treated as "men vs women" instead of "people need to respect other people". "no" to rape, "no" to harassment, "no" to violence, "no" to inequality.
"no" to gender wars.
if someone wants you in their space, they'll invite you. and no matter who you are, what you look like, or how weird you or your tastes may be, there will always be someone that will appreciate that for what it is. and that, i think, is the bit that a lot of the types that the article talks about don't get.
forcing yourself on someone on the basis of what they look like or what you perceive from a distance without even bothering to find out what they're about is only ever going to end badly for both parties, so why put everyone through all the shit just because you can't be arsed to follow (or learn) a few simple rules of engagement?
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
on vulnerability
after my last post i was quite upset, and i was taken right back into the dark space i'd been in the previous night when arguing with gd about rape, consent and gender. i remained upset until i arrived at her place and managed to get my thoughts and feelings across, which was really difficult. i only found the right words to express myself minutes before arriving and talking about one's vulnerabilities and dark places is not easy, it doesn't matter how caring and supportive the person you're talking to is.
the cause for my distress was being told that i don't get to discuss "consent" because i cannot empathize with women who're living in rape culture* as a man in a man's world who hasn't been subjected to sexual abuse. at first i was angry because while i agree that i cannot identify with victims of sexual abuse, that doesn't mean that i cannot empathize with them**. then, while on my way to gd's, it suddenly struck me that i *do* know all about consent and violation first-hand.
i've barely talked about my experiences with the men in suits (and i've hardly started labelling all the polygraph posts) but i'm going to take a moment to share the two most significant parts of the experience.
firstly, i was forced to "consent" to the interrogation and to be subjected to the polygraph examinations. sure, i could have withheld consent, but not consenting was tantamount to declaring myself a criminal and a traitor and the possible consequences included lengthy jail-time and being dishonourably discharged, which would basically have destroyed any possibility of me continuing on my career / life path. in other words, i would have been sacrificing all of my dreams if i hadn't submitted.
secondly, the violation of the interrogation wherein they demanded deeply private and personal details that i didn't want to share followed by being hooked up to a machine to confirm whether i'd been honest and forthcoming is nothing short of mental rape. full penetration, complete helplessness and having to live with the trauma afterwards. it's an experience that, no matter how much sense i manage to make of it, i have no place for in my narrative. this is something that happens to other people, not me.
just talking about it face-to-face yesterday, even with someone i trust so intimately, made my chest constrict until i couldn't breathe.
so here i am, reliving the interminable sequence of dark, ugly moments that i will never be able to forget and cannot satisfactorily fit into language, in an attempt to justify my opinions and understanding of gender inequality and how fucked up our world is.
--- i'm not going to share my opinions right now, that's not what this is about.
* a problematic expression. it's valid, but it's more nuanced and complex than its surface value and causes misunderstandings even before a discussion can be had. if you want to talk about rape culture with anyone, you have to sit down and establish all the terms before you begin. victims, normative men (participants and non-participants), normative women (not including explicit victims), feminists (male and female), and academics all think, speak and understand these things very differently.
**i feel strongly that there's a difference between those two concepts, i might be abusing the language though. if you don't get my meaning, leave a comment and i'll try to explain differently.
the cause for my distress was being told that i don't get to discuss "consent" because i cannot empathize with women who're living in rape culture* as a man in a man's world who hasn't been subjected to sexual abuse. at first i was angry because while i agree that i cannot identify with victims of sexual abuse, that doesn't mean that i cannot empathize with them**. then, while on my way to gd's, it suddenly struck me that i *do* know all about consent and violation first-hand.
i've barely talked about my experiences with the men in suits (and i've hardly started labelling all the polygraph posts) but i'm going to take a moment to share the two most significant parts of the experience.
firstly, i was forced to "consent" to the interrogation and to be subjected to the polygraph examinations. sure, i could have withheld consent, but not consenting was tantamount to declaring myself a criminal and a traitor and the possible consequences included lengthy jail-time and being dishonourably discharged, which would basically have destroyed any possibility of me continuing on my career / life path. in other words, i would have been sacrificing all of my dreams if i hadn't submitted.
secondly, the violation of the interrogation wherein they demanded deeply private and personal details that i didn't want to share followed by being hooked up to a machine to confirm whether i'd been honest and forthcoming is nothing short of mental rape. full penetration, complete helplessness and having to live with the trauma afterwards. it's an experience that, no matter how much sense i manage to make of it, i have no place for in my narrative. this is something that happens to other people, not me.
just talking about it face-to-face yesterday, even with someone i trust so intimately, made my chest constrict until i couldn't breathe.
so here i am, reliving the interminable sequence of dark, ugly moments that i will never be able to forget and cannot satisfactorily fit into language, in an attempt to justify my opinions and understanding of gender inequality and how fucked up our world is.
* a problematic expression. it's valid, but it's more nuanced and complex than its surface value and causes misunderstandings even before a discussion can be had. if you want to talk about rape culture with anyone, you have to sit down and establish all the terms before you begin. victims, normative men (participants and non-participants), normative women (not including explicit victims), feminists (male and female), and academics all think, speak and understand these things very differently.
**i feel strongly that there's a difference between those two concepts, i might be abusing the language though. if you don't get my meaning, leave a comment and i'll try to explain differently.
it's got personal written all over it
i'm seriously riled right now. i made a comment on a friend's status that was complimentary, and some girl said she didn't know if it was just her, but that my phrasing at the beginning sounded creepy.
"if i had your mouth i'd prepare a subtly scathing speech for just such an occasion when you need to get a stranger out of your space"
i told her i was sure it was just her. the only possible misinterpretations i could think of were childishly sexual, or silence-of-the-lambs-esque. so i posted a link to it rubs the lotion on its skin, which everyone *i* know found amusing... including said friend.
but angry girl got mad, and told me there was no need for that sort of insinuation, so i said "i guess we don't share a sense of humour, then. oh, well."
then she called me a douche. i told her she was overly sensitive and aggressive, and tried to leave the conversation but someone else chimed in in her defense and i found myself being judged a typical, disgusting man. i hate being judged by humorless morons, especially wrongly and even more so in a (relatively) public setting. i also hate being dragged into a fight that i can't get out of without seeming like i have my tail between my legs.
i eventually managed to get *her* to leave the conversation, feeling all proud of herself for "being the bigger man".
i don't need the last word.
but i will defend myself until the end.
what finally brought things to a close:
"you seem very angry, <angry girl>, and you've antagonized me enough that, quite frankly, i don't give a damn about your feelings or what you think. what you don't know or give two shits about is how much your misinterpretation has upset me. so how about we just leave each other alone? can we do that?"
...
and to add to all of that, i've just started shivering because it's 13 degrees and all my windows are open.
godsdammit.
"if i had your mouth i'd prepare a subtly scathing speech for just such an occasion when you need to get a stranger out of your space"
i told her i was sure it was just her. the only possible misinterpretations i could think of were childishly sexual, or silence-of-the-lambs-esque. so i posted a link to it rubs the lotion on its skin, which everyone *i* know found amusing... including said friend.
but angry girl got mad, and told me there was no need for that sort of insinuation, so i said "i guess we don't share a sense of humour, then. oh, well."
then she called me a douche. i told her she was overly sensitive and aggressive, and tried to leave the conversation but someone else chimed in in her defense and i found myself being judged a typical, disgusting man. i hate being judged by humorless morons, especially wrongly and even more so in a (relatively) public setting. i also hate being dragged into a fight that i can't get out of without seeming like i have my tail between my legs.
i eventually managed to get *her* to leave the conversation, feeling all proud of herself for "being the bigger man".
i don't need the last word.
but i will defend myself until the end.
what finally brought things to a close:
"you seem very angry, <angry girl>, and you've antagonized me enough that, quite frankly, i don't give a damn about your feelings or what you think. what you don't know or give two shits about is how much your misinterpretation has upset me. so how about we just leave each other alone? can we do that?"
...
and to add to all of that, i've just started shivering because it's 13 degrees and all my windows are open.
godsdammit.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
sunday morning linkage
things that have been interesting me and loading up over the last (short) while:
1. 3D printing pen
2. 3D printing makeup
3. new york city's payphone wireless
4. the fcc are being assholes about net neutrality. someone's had a great idea...
5. jerry said don't do it. of course i did it. and he's totally, *totally* right.
6. here's a good look at the problems of nutritional info online. as always, i recommend going with nutritionfacts.org.
7. used to be some hardcore sexism. feminism's still necessary, but *wow* we've come a long way.
8. world under water? i have a feeling that only the choir's going to check that out, preacher.
9. a building recycling robot? YES.
what if randall munroe?
1. 3D printing pen
2. 3D printing makeup
3. new york city's payphone wireless
4. the fcc are being assholes about net neutrality. someone's had a great idea...
5. jerry said don't do it. of course i did it. and he's totally, *totally* right.
6. here's a good look at the problems of nutritional info online. as always, i recommend going with nutritionfacts.org.
7. used to be some hardcore sexism. feminism's still necessary, but *wow* we've come a long way.
8. world under water? i have a feeling that only the choir's going to check that out, preacher.
9. a building recycling robot? YES.
what if randall munroe?
Thursday, March 27, 2014
required reading
what an odd day! and it's not over yet, but my boxing time has been cancelled so i may as well share what's on my mind right now...
1. pulse invited me to dinner with her friend who put my resume forward. she then informed me that "her friend" will be coming too, saying that she didn't want me to be surprised. does that mean that she meant "boyfriend"? i'm not sure how i feel about that, but whatever. it looks like a nice place to eat and it's a good excuse to meet someone who i hope will soon be a co-worker.
2. my yoga instructor noticed that i don't distribute pressure on my feet correctly, and suggested that i try using toe separators. so i went to the pharmacy to buy some, but being an uninterestingly straight male i didn't even know what to look for. the woman who helped me was shocked and amused that my girlfriend or wife would send me out on such an errand, and i didn't feel the need to correct her :P
3. i went to the ups store to print out and photocopy all the documentation i'll need to take to the guys who'll handle my tax returns for me. doing the math, if i don't get back more than $120 none of this will have been worth my while.
4. i was next to starbucks so i sat down with a large coffee to work on my comics. while i was learning that there's a rather lengthy book in middle english that i'm going to need to read from cover to cover before continuing*, something made me look at my phone and register, too late, that my netbook's clock was an hour behind. curses!
* i just realized that there's an important character who'll need to be defined well, even if he'll only appear in two panels of the first issue
so i missed boxing, i don't even have time to go and wail on the bags for a bit before going out. not the end of the world, but still...
... in completely different news, i haven't spoken to fp in more than a day and even then it was a couple of basic sms updates over a span of about three days. i get the feeling that whatever we had or didn't have has petered out...
1. pulse invited me to dinner with her friend who put my resume forward. she then informed me that "her friend" will be coming too, saying that she didn't want me to be surprised. does that mean that she meant "boyfriend"? i'm not sure how i feel about that, but whatever. it looks like a nice place to eat and it's a good excuse to meet someone who i hope will soon be a co-worker.
2. my yoga instructor noticed that i don't distribute pressure on my feet correctly, and suggested that i try using toe separators. so i went to the pharmacy to buy some, but being an uninterestingly straight male i didn't even know what to look for. the woman who helped me was shocked and amused that my girlfriend or wife would send me out on such an errand, and i didn't feel the need to correct her :P
3. i went to the ups store to print out and photocopy all the documentation i'll need to take to the guys who'll handle my tax returns for me. doing the math, if i don't get back more than $120 none of this will have been worth my while.
4. i was next to starbucks so i sat down with a large coffee to work on my comics. while i was learning that there's a rather lengthy book in middle english that i'm going to need to read from cover to cover before continuing*, something made me look at my phone and register, too late, that my netbook's clock was an hour behind. curses!
* i just realized that there's an important character who'll need to be defined well, even if he'll only appear in two panels of the first issue
so i missed boxing, i don't even have time to go and wail on the bags for a bit before going out. not the end of the world, but still...
... in completely different news, i haven't spoken to fp in more than a day and even then it was a couple of basic sms updates over a span of about three days. i get the feeling that whatever we had or didn't have has petered out...
Thursday, February 13, 2014
warm chills
i woke up this morning to a flood of positivity!
the first were messages from pulse, tuesday's date after whom i cancelled all the others i'd had lined up for the week. we've had multiple conversations going on at any time since before we even met and in person it was actually a psychological effort to not try to cover everything possible in the short time that we were physically together. we have plans for a romantic valentine's day date and i'm strangely comfortable with the fact that i've already been introduced to friends and been invited to ottawa with them.
airplane and i talked a lot when i was in cape town about a project he wants to do that he'd like me to write for. the project will only really begin in a few months but for a couple of weeks now i've had an idea rolling around that i shared with him yesterday morning. he was so inspired that this morning he shared a first draft image concept and it's so good it gave me chills! he was my first pick for illustrator and he puts the ones i've worked with so far to shame... the thing is that the underlying premise is very similar to the one i'm already working on (it's inspired by shakespeare), even if the mechanics are completely different; i'm praying that once his work is out he'll be convinced to invest time in mine. either way, this one is going to be a lot of fun!
...
i received a call back from the french class friend, they've received my resume but the permit wait time might be a problem. have i mentioned before that the bureaucracy here is not helping resolve the skills shortage? aota actually contacted me earlier to tell me i'm wrong, but i called the number she gave me and there's an automated message that specifically states what i thought :/
...
i'm still doing the running-nose-man a bit, but i'm definitely much better than i was this last week. it was a rough week!
--- the poetry on sunday inspired me to scribble the quebec immigration song and my first throw poetry collective lie as i entered the metro. after minimum tweaking i'm already quite satisfied with the results :)
while going through those i decided that a poem i wrote a few months ago is also ready to be posted. it's been a good week for poetry :)
--- monday:
vfmp made a great dinner, gave some of my poetry pretty constructive criticism (his english minor totally qualifies him) amd we played a couple of great games of fluxx before his boyfriend got home and we resumed watching house of cards. it's still fantastic, but watching the downward spiral of one of the characters is utterly unnerving and disturbing. the only downer of the evening was enjoying an amazing smoothie that vfmp's boyfriend made and dripping a purple drop near the top of my white hoodie :(
--- tuesday:
my running-nose-man was already not as severe as before but still tough. i focused on french all day with nine inch nails in the background, and for the first time became certain that the caretaker - who i wrote a nice enough reference for - was fired, and lied to me to get the reference. so much for describing him as honest! though it's what i believed when i wrote it, if anyone does contact me about him now i'm not sure what i'll say.
--- the date: i was not at all confident about this one, a combination of her style of questioning that seemed overly exuberant and her profile pictures that were attractive but left room for doubt. well, one look at her in real life and the latter worry fell away, and about two minutes with her and it became evident that i can drop "overly" from the former - she's just full of positive energy! and it's balanced by a sharp and highly-educated mind. it was really awkward being introduced to close family friends even before we'd got drinks in our hands, but i guess that's what happens when you agree to go to a performance where the singer's practically family! it was fancy ghetto, and while i barely understood what they were singing the music was excellent and the overall experience was pretty powerful! and pulse can do simultaneous translation, which is bloody impressive.
the performance was shorter than anyone expected, so we spent a while afterwards talking and we all like each other so that was cool. we then went looking for a good place for dinner / drinks, ending up at l'artère but deciding it wasn't quite right (it was empty, and their options weren't enticing) and moving along to the first bar we found. it was a real dive, but it didn't matter as we sat chatting and nursing whiskeys while the clock hands jealously kept spinning until it was time to head home.
i've gotten used to ending dates disappointed, and to be facing a beautiful girl saying the words i was thinking was actually a bit of a shock. in spite of the fact that my nose and chest weren't 100% - i must have been discrete enough in keeping that under control, i guess :P
--- wednesday:
i focused on french all day, watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary on the habs and doing a lot of duolingo.
i went to the gym for boxing, but the coach abandoned us so after warming up and shadowboxing for a while i hit the punching bags and did a lot of good work. there's a fifteen year old kid who's been training with us for a few weeks and he's full of shit, he talks a lot and has very little work ethic. what's funny is that everyone in the gym takes turns babysitting him, and last night a few of us were entertaining ourselves for a while as we forced him to do proper push-ups and sit-ups and i introduced him to full pull-ups.
"you mean to tell me you can't do one single pull up, pyle?"
my shins were tender when i was done kicking the bags, but then i haven't actually used them in a while...
i got through most of downtown abbey's special: behind the drama before realizing that i was bored, so i switched to her. thank you, spike jonze, thank you! it's a great movie, and it reminded me of ruby sparks in a lot of ways.
i spent some time going through a list of songs pulse had compiled for me on grooveshark - i'd forgotten about grooveshark - and put together a modern-day mix-tape in response which appears to have been well-received :)
and then the day was over.
--- linkage:
kenichi ebina: i'm pretty sure i've never seen this before. it's amazing! so this is what dancing to dubstep should be like...
52 amusing activist pick-up lines
facebook fraud: i think it's time somebody created a proper alternative to facebook. one that doesn't manipulate how we view each others' posts!
dallas sportscaster's response to michael sam coming out as gay: well said, sir, well said.
the first were messages from pulse, tuesday's date after whom i cancelled all the others i'd had lined up for the week. we've had multiple conversations going on at any time since before we even met and in person it was actually a psychological effort to not try to cover everything possible in the short time that we were physically together. we have plans for a romantic valentine's day date and i'm strangely comfortable with the fact that i've already been introduced to friends and been invited to ottawa with them.
airplane and i talked a lot when i was in cape town about a project he wants to do that he'd like me to write for. the project will only really begin in a few months but for a couple of weeks now i've had an idea rolling around that i shared with him yesterday morning. he was so inspired that this morning he shared a first draft image concept and it's so good it gave me chills! he was my first pick for illustrator and he puts the ones i've worked with so far to shame... the thing is that the underlying premise is very similar to the one i'm already working on (it's inspired by shakespeare), even if the mechanics are completely different; i'm praying that once his work is out he'll be convinced to invest time in mine. either way, this one is going to be a lot of fun!
...
i received a call back from the french class friend, they've received my resume but the permit wait time might be a problem. have i mentioned before that the bureaucracy here is not helping resolve the skills shortage? aota actually contacted me earlier to tell me i'm wrong, but i called the number she gave me and there's an automated message that specifically states what i thought :/
...
i'm still doing the running-nose-man a bit, but i'm definitely much better than i was this last week. it was a rough week!
while going through those i decided that a poem i wrote a few months ago is also ready to be posted. it's been a good week for poetry :)
vfmp made a great dinner, gave some of my poetry pretty constructive criticism (his english minor totally qualifies him) amd we played a couple of great games of fluxx before his boyfriend got home and we resumed watching house of cards. it's still fantastic, but watching the downward spiral of one of the characters is utterly unnerving and disturbing. the only downer of the evening was enjoying an amazing smoothie that vfmp's boyfriend made and dripping a purple drop near the top of my white hoodie :(
my running-nose-man was already not as severe as before but still tough. i focused on french all day with nine inch nails in the background, and for the first time became certain that the caretaker - who i wrote a nice enough reference for - was fired, and lied to me to get the reference. so much for describing him as honest! though it's what i believed when i wrote it, if anyone does contact me about him now i'm not sure what i'll say.
the performance was shorter than anyone expected, so we spent a while afterwards talking and we all like each other so that was cool. we then went looking for a good place for dinner / drinks, ending up at l'artère but deciding it wasn't quite right (it was empty, and their options weren't enticing) and moving along to the first bar we found. it was a real dive, but it didn't matter as we sat chatting and nursing whiskeys while the clock hands jealously kept spinning until it was time to head home.
i've gotten used to ending dates disappointed, and to be facing a beautiful girl saying the words i was thinking was actually a bit of a shock. in spite of the fact that my nose and chest weren't 100% - i must have been discrete enough in keeping that under control, i guess :P
i focused on french all day, watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary on the habs and doing a lot of duolingo.
i went to the gym for boxing, but the coach abandoned us so after warming up and shadowboxing for a while i hit the punching bags and did a lot of good work. there's a fifteen year old kid who's been training with us for a few weeks and he's full of shit, he talks a lot and has very little work ethic. what's funny is that everyone in the gym takes turns babysitting him, and last night a few of us were entertaining ourselves for a while as we forced him to do proper push-ups and sit-ups and i introduced him to full pull-ups.
"you mean to tell me you can't do one single pull up, pyle?"
my shins were tender when i was done kicking the bags, but then i haven't actually used them in a while...
i got through most of downtown abbey's special: behind the drama before realizing that i was bored, so i switched to her. thank you, spike jonze, thank you! it's a great movie, and it reminded me of ruby sparks in a lot of ways.
i spent some time going through a list of songs pulse had compiled for me on grooveshark - i'd forgotten about grooveshark - and put together a modern-day mix-tape in response which appears to have been well-received :)
and then the day was over.
kenichi ebina: i'm pretty sure i've never seen this before. it's amazing! so this is what dancing to dubstep should be like...
52 amusing activist pick-up lines
facebook fraud: i think it's time somebody created a proper alternative to facebook. one that doesn't manipulate how we view each others' posts!
dallas sportscaster's response to michael sam coming out as gay: well said, sir, well said.
Friday, February 07, 2014
breathshort 2
i started reading about the 80-10-10 diet this morning, got bored very quickly and began looking up critiques. some of the critiques are downright uninformed. some make sense. the diet itself doesn't sound reasonable at all.
in contrast, the new canadian immigration laws publicized today do seem reasonable.
when the cleaning lady arrived i headed to starbucks to be out of her way, stopping in at the pharmacy to pick up ephedrine tablets. i do feel a bit clearer for them, but i'm still having surprise fits of coughing and i easily got short of breath when i tried working the bags in the gym. i've *done* that shit, it's *so* 2013. let's not do this again, huh? kthxbye.
i spent my coffee reading sherlock holmes and attempting, in vain, to eavesdrop on the french being spoken at the table next to me. i walked out as soon as my coughing became uncontrollable. i didn't want to be that guy.
the fit was over by the time i walked past subway so i decided to take my pre-training meal there. i felt particularly judgemental standing behind a mother with her two kids, secretly frowning upon their choices of meats and cheese. what have i become?
as i said, the training didn't work out so well. kgb's joined us, though, which is cool, and i'll teach him kickboxing until he's ready to join the advanced class because he's not able to make the beginner classes. on another note, i'm pretty sure the boxing coach doesn't like me any more. i was most interested to discover that my progress has been marked by instructors in the gym that i didn't realize were at all interested...
anyway, lots of tekken, now dinner, then french.
oh. and i received a message from the company i was applying for. i'm not surprised that it was a rejection letter. oh, well.
--- oh, canada. not only are some of the city halls flying gay pride flags in defiance of sochi, but there's the greatest olympic video of all time that's just been released.
and on a slightly more personal yet no less political note: a band is suing the states for using its music for torture. rock on!
in contrast, the new canadian immigration laws publicized today do seem reasonable.
when the cleaning lady arrived i headed to starbucks to be out of her way, stopping in at the pharmacy to pick up ephedrine tablets. i do feel a bit clearer for them, but i'm still having surprise fits of coughing and i easily got short of breath when i tried working the bags in the gym. i've *done* that shit, it's *so* 2013. let's not do this again, huh? kthxbye.
i spent my coffee reading sherlock holmes and attempting, in vain, to eavesdrop on the french being spoken at the table next to me. i walked out as soon as my coughing became uncontrollable. i didn't want to be that guy.
the fit was over by the time i walked past subway so i decided to take my pre-training meal there. i felt particularly judgemental standing behind a mother with her two kids, secretly frowning upon their choices of meats and cheese. what have i become?
as i said, the training didn't work out so well. kgb's joined us, though, which is cool, and i'll teach him kickboxing until he's ready to join the advanced class because he's not able to make the beginner classes. on another note, i'm pretty sure the boxing coach doesn't like me any more. i was most interested to discover that my progress has been marked by instructors in the gym that i didn't realize were at all interested...
anyway, lots of tekken, now dinner, then french.
oh. and i received a message from the company i was applying for. i'm not surprised that it was a rejection letter. oh, well.
and on a slightly more personal yet no less political note: a band is suing the states for using its music for torture. rock on!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
first spring: footnotes and links
[footnotes from previous post]
* the argument was political, but it was more of a meta-argument over the fact that the kid, surrounded almost exclusively by pro-palestinian propaganda, holds opinions yet couldn't be bothered to base them in personally verified fact. he basically talked a load of bollocks, and every time i pointed out a flaw - either logical or factual - he shrugged it off as "don't care".
but he cares enough to be a self-hating jew and extreme relativist. brilliant.
** there's a girl who's been at a lot of the parties i've been to in the last year, and i know she's friendly with a friend of mine, but we've never had any contact. at the party on friday, i noticed her smiling at me while i was blowing bubbles at the side of the dancefloor, and i smiled back - but i'm not sure if that counts as a connection.
she's not really my type, aesthetically speaking, but she seems a nice girl. i walked into the club on monday night, and saw her next to the speaker i always use to place my jacket. she was talking to someone, and i tried catching her eye in a non-obvious manner. that's probably a mistake - the non-obvious part, at least - and i got no response from her, not even a slight indication of recognition.
for the rest of the time i was there we danced close to each other, but without any communication between us whatsoever. that was just weird.
---
here are the links for the last couple of days:
sa news:
hiding the homeless for the world cup
so i'm not clued up with sports - this hermaphrodite business seems a bit rough.
visual:
here are some incredible photos of insects covered in dew
we have tested an proved the ability to genetically modify / correct adults - and away we go!
wp's girlfriend gave me her business card, and it's been sitting on my desk since i returned from sa. yesterday, while tidying up, i finally opened the link: she's amazing!
* the argument was political, but it was more of a meta-argument over the fact that the kid, surrounded almost exclusively by pro-palestinian propaganda, holds opinions yet couldn't be bothered to base them in personally verified fact. he basically talked a load of bollocks, and every time i pointed out a flaw - either logical or factual - he shrugged it off as "don't care".
but he cares enough to be a self-hating jew and extreme relativist. brilliant.
** there's a girl who's been at a lot of the parties i've been to in the last year, and i know she's friendly with a friend of mine, but we've never had any contact. at the party on friday, i noticed her smiling at me while i was blowing bubbles at the side of the dancefloor, and i smiled back - but i'm not sure if that counts as a connection.
she's not really my type, aesthetically speaking, but she seems a nice girl. i walked into the club on monday night, and saw her next to the speaker i always use to place my jacket. she was talking to someone, and i tried catching her eye in a non-obvious manner. that's probably a mistake - the non-obvious part, at least - and i got no response from her, not even a slight indication of recognition.
for the rest of the time i was there we danced close to each other, but without any communication between us whatsoever. that was just weird.
here are the links for the last couple of days:
sa news:
hiding the homeless for the world cup
so i'm not clued up with sports - this hermaphrodite business seems a bit rough.
visual:
here are some incredible photos of insects covered in dew
we have tested an proved the ability to genetically modify / correct adults - and away we go!
wp's girlfriend gave me her business card, and it's been sitting on my desk since i returned from sa. yesterday, while tidying up, i finally opened the link: she's amazing!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
on maggots and sunsets
a quick summary:
thursday continued:
1. great sushi as usual.
2. a long walk to ramat aviv (!) to catch the tail end of the orange music festival. seeing that many people jumping up and down to an infected mushroom instrumental was nuts.
3. getting caught in traffic on the way out was more nuts, but not as much as considering going out without sleeping.
4. passing out without going out.
friday:
1. trying to sleep in... unsuccessfully.
2. buying the hat i'd ordered last week at dizengoff center.
3. seeing the print of my design come out beautifully. waiting for the actual print. being surprised by the news that the printer managed to put it on upside down - how professional. they didn't charge me for the correction, but the image has an awkward shadow and i'm not entirely happy with it.
4. the gay pride parade. my arms got burned, my chest and back didn't - and my shirt was off most of the time. i've decided that i'm preparing a shirt and a sign for next year... [front] if i could choose i'd be gay... [back] ... but i can't.
the street party was great fun, ssf's boyfriend's a dick and the beach party was excellent until the concert started.
5. after a shower i took my book to the coffee stand and enjoyed a wonderfully chilled read / iced-coffee and roast-beef salad for about an hour.
6. trying to nap... unsuccessfully.
7. watching the forbidden kingdom with the kid. best intro ever! i'm not including the wire-fu mountain scene, but the rest was absolutely beautiful. brilliant film.
8. meeting up with egg and going to the meimad for a rock party the likes of which i haven't enjoyed in well over a year. i was barely capable of walking home, and after a quick shower i flopped into bed at 6am, completely exhausted.
saturday:
1. waking up at 8.30am, trying to sleep in... unsuccessfully. for anyone who's noticed a pattern, i suffer from insomnia at home. anywhere else i sleep like a baby, most easily when i have something that needs doing.
2. i sat online for a bit, then took a walk so that i could listen to the penny arcade / pvp online d&d 4th edition podcast (here's the second episode). there're quite a few chuckles in there, and i really enjoyed myself :)
3. worms. maggots. millions of them. our flatmate has spot-like habits, specifically leaving a mess of foodstuffs around the couch. so our slimy, squirming little friends spent the afternoon giving us the run-around... and the heebie-jeebies. it took forever to clean the apartment; my room is so dusty i only managed the big, obvious tufts of dust before losing my cool, downing a couple of slugs of tequila and going to the beach with the kid.
4. we met up with gco and a couple of his buddies for a great afternoon in the water and playing frisbee (with a real one, not our dingy bastard), then had sundowners at mike's place. it's the first time i've enjoyed doing that outside of south africa.
5. rushing home to change, deal with a bunch of irate / confused fellow vacationers, and meeting singer on the bus to comfort 13.
6. the concert was for the prevention of animal experimentation, but eatliz (butcher) was playing so i didn't care. the first one-man band was a bit horrible. shlomi shaban was great. amit erez (one of eatliz's guitarists) played - some of it was decent - and then the rest of eatliz came on and were superb as usual.
one of my cousins was there, and would have missed their performance if i hadn't convinced him to stay a little longer - he was suitably impressed :)
7. i need to go to bed.
thursday continued:
1. great sushi as usual.
2. a long walk to ramat aviv (!) to catch the tail end of the orange music festival. seeing that many people jumping up and down to an infected mushroom instrumental was nuts.
3. getting caught in traffic on the way out was more nuts, but not as much as considering going out without sleeping.
4. passing out without going out.
friday:
1. trying to sleep in... unsuccessfully.
2. buying the hat i'd ordered last week at dizengoff center.
3. seeing the print of my design come out beautifully. waiting for the actual print. being surprised by the news that the printer managed to put it on upside down - how professional. they didn't charge me for the correction, but the image has an awkward shadow and i'm not entirely happy with it.
4. the gay pride parade. my arms got burned, my chest and back didn't - and my shirt was off most of the time. i've decided that i'm preparing a shirt and a sign for next year... [front] if i could choose i'd be gay... [back] ... but i can't.
the street party was great fun, ssf's boyfriend's a dick and the beach party was excellent until the concert started.
5. after a shower i took my book to the coffee stand and enjoyed a wonderfully chilled read / iced-coffee and roast-beef salad for about an hour.
6. trying to nap... unsuccessfully.
7. watching the forbidden kingdom with the kid. best intro ever! i'm not including the wire-fu mountain scene, but the rest was absolutely beautiful. brilliant film.
8. meeting up with egg and going to the meimad for a rock party the likes of which i haven't enjoyed in well over a year. i was barely capable of walking home, and after a quick shower i flopped into bed at 6am, completely exhausted.
saturday:
1. waking up at 8.30am, trying to sleep in... unsuccessfully. for anyone who's noticed a pattern, i suffer from insomnia at home. anywhere else i sleep like a baby, most easily when i have something that needs doing.
2. i sat online for a bit, then took a walk so that i could listen to the penny arcade / pvp online d&d 4th edition podcast (here's the second episode). there're quite a few chuckles in there, and i really enjoyed myself :)
3. worms. maggots. millions of them. our flatmate has spot-like habits, specifically leaving a mess of foodstuffs around the couch. so our slimy, squirming little friends spent the afternoon giving us the run-around... and the heebie-jeebies. it took forever to clean the apartment; my room is so dusty i only managed the big, obvious tufts of dust before losing my cool, downing a couple of slugs of tequila and going to the beach with the kid.
4. we met up with gco and a couple of his buddies for a great afternoon in the water and playing frisbee (with a real one, not our dingy bastard), then had sundowners at mike's place. it's the first time i've enjoyed doing that outside of south africa.
5. rushing home to change, deal with a bunch of irate / confused fellow vacationers, and meeting singer on the bus to comfort 13.
6. the concert was for the prevention of animal experimentation, but eatliz (butcher) was playing so i didn't care. the first one-man band was a bit horrible. shlomi shaban was great. amit erez (one of eatliz's guitarists) played - some of it was decent - and then the rest of eatliz came on and were superb as usual.
one of my cousins was there, and would have missed their performance if i hadn't convinced him to stay a little longer - he was suitably impressed :)
7. i need to go to bed.
Friday, March 28, 2008
the trade
the first item on today's agenda was buying dystopia's WOW cards. i discovered that while the food at kauai may be good and healthy, three panels of the menu were filled with items whose names i cannot bring myself to say out loud in a public forum.
i will never ask for a "rooster booster burger", and the day i ask for a "princess wrap" is the day i walk out wearing a tutu. even the drinks' names have been emasculated. and while the wrap that i did order was good, the peanut butter smoothie contained a giant rubbery egg that began to split when i neared the bottom of the cup, and that was incredibly off-putting.
i arrived back in sea point just in time for my appointment to get my neck waxed... my tat's had a haircut and is no longer sporting a 'fro.
i spent the rest of the afternoon watching futurama, then met up with sweetiepie for a beer. on the way i was disappointed to learn that there is no trance party on the weekend, and i was kinda relying on that as a solid send-off. *expletive deleted here*
my mom and i had dinner with some english cousins, which was really nice. unlike israel, in south africa i can ask for a steak just shy of medium rare and expect to get it as such. and the quantity and quality of the meat is fantastic.
i'm exhausted, and depressed that i'm leaving so soon.
i will never ask for a "rooster booster burger", and the day i ask for a "princess wrap" is the day i walk out wearing a tutu. even the drinks' names have been emasculated. and while the wrap that i did order was good, the peanut butter smoothie contained a giant rubbery egg that began to split when i neared the bottom of the cup, and that was incredibly off-putting.
i arrived back in sea point just in time for my appointment to get my neck waxed... my tat's had a haircut and is no longer sporting a 'fro.
i spent the rest of the afternoon watching futurama, then met up with sweetiepie for a beer. on the way i was disappointed to learn that there is no trance party on the weekend, and i was kinda relying on that as a solid send-off. *expletive deleted here*
my mom and i had dinner with some english cousins, which was really nice. unlike israel, in south africa i can ask for a steak just shy of medium rare and expect to get it as such. and the quantity and quality of the meat is fantastic.
i'm exhausted, and depressed that i'm leaving so soon.
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