also in moderation

... continued from previous post.

[this post begun bouncy with m.d.p.c - dosenoeffner]
i'll begin with another mention of just how strained my eyes are: i find it absolutely pathetic that my vision is this fuzzy without my glasses at the moment.

---i had a fight with my sort-of-previous TL, one that got us both pretty riled. i probably shouldn't have loudly and forcefully referred to him and our SC as absolute morons in front of the kids. eventually we managed to more-or-less clear up the misunderstandings, agreeing to disagree about the value of my time. assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups? it's all he bases his opinions on.

i fell asleep tweaking comments according to the advice given in an arbitrary issue of the msdn magazine (i didn't know they had one), and was sleeping so beautifully until someone buzzed the door to send a fax. the fax machine being broken, that was a completely unnecessary panic-attack. sitting at the entrance to the unit commander's office is not a positive experience.

lunchtime amusement with nystire: an old and brilliant story i remember reading on segfault.org about a guy who was an absolute genius or a complete asshole, maybe both, and reflecting on how to lose calories effectively (specifically no. 2 on the list).

i got to doing a bit of work, and was interrupted by our SC who took me aside for the chat. i'm surprised at how well it went, and we seem to have reached an understanding. i've explained to him that i'm not the happiest camper and that i want out, but also that if i have a job to do i'll do it and i'd appreciate being allowed to managed my own time. he let me know that they've been making an effort to get me on my way, and that until then they do appreciate the work i'm doing.

we seem to be all good, then.

i finally got perl installed on my machine, and began learning it from scratch (again). it's a good to know, for sure, but i'm not going to be converting from c anytime soon :P

wr and i had a number of conversations during the day - he called me up to ask if i was interested in a free ticket to a production in the area, and after a couple of updates he then called me up to apologize for the ticket being non-existent. great.

i developed an incredibly intense case of the munchies (i'd barely consumed anything the entire day), and was horrified to discover that our local cafeteria was closed. all that i could find was the remains of nutella and cornflakes, so i poured in the cornflakes and was pleasantly surprised at just how delicious it was ^_^

---the shuttle driver complained about the illegality of the place we asked for me to be dropped off at, then stopped somewhere way worse, and further away from where i needed to be :/

[i've been on a very odd diet since yesterday evening. i've got another five days to go. i hate thinking about food.]

i was reminded by my mother that it has been eight and seven years respectively since my grandmother and my uncle passed away... a lot has happened in that time. i went searching for an evening prayer service when i got home, but i was unfortunately too late :(

i decided to go for a run. the dean's son arrived shortly after i'd eaten, and during our first hour i got a vague idea of where he's at and set him his first task. it seemed like he "got" me, but i can only hope.

i was on time for the rollerblading group, and i was in AMAZING spirits. the group was fantastic, and when we weren't sprinting long stretches we were chatting and having a great time. i've discovered that a large number of them are currently writing exams to be inducted into the new police rollerblading unit, and am highly amused :)

i got home, and until hitting the shower i was focused on trying to organize munchkin games for all those who never get around to playing. this is Important Stuff, you know.

---hard wake up.
i saw it coming, though. and at least our SC picked me up at a [ha! relatively] reasonable time. on the radio a woman screamed about how parents compete in giving gifts to their kids that aren't appreciated, and usually don't deserve to be. i quite agree.
we picked up a couple of guys, fortunately for us the smelly one from last time wasn't of the first three waiting.

the kinder's been waiting a long time to go to thailand, and there's a chance he may be forced to cancel his ticket. i probably shouldn't rub his nose in it, but when almost all of our communication is humorously based on saying terrible things to each other it's hard not to.

i made some headway with the perl script until lunch. i mentioned to nystire that i couldn't eat vegetables, and he gave my plate a quizzical look and asked me why i'm eating couscous if it's vegetable. we actually argued about it before i discovered that he was classifying it in terms of "animal, vegetable, mineral".

*shakes head*

the chicken was dry and tasteless, too. on our way to the central store, we had a fight about slander which left a bad taste in my mouth, and i was arguing in defence of people i don't particularly care for nor think highly of. there are some statements that are simply not okay to pass on.

another moment of confusion, because i couldn't recall whether or not corn was on the list of things i can't eat. it was, but as a suggested food :P
i bought nutella and cornflakes.

the heat was unbearable, and it took a while to cool down once we were back in our building. shortly after settling down, i was called upon to assist in soaking idiot-girl to congratulate her on her promotion. we stood calmly chatting outside, and when she (having been conned) walked outside we caught her completely by surprise :D

the girl who spent most of the afternoon in my office (having trouble with the photocopier, apparently) was very happy that my ipod was having an avril lavigne day. i've never heard it play so many songs by the same artist in such close proximity before :P

i'm beginning to like taxi violence.

nystire and i had a quick-and-dirty training in the corridor. it would've been better if i hadn't picked the wrong tracksuit pants, they simply didn't allow much flexibility :/

last thought for the workday: some guy getting upset with me for not being familiar with my unit commander's calendar and taking my name. i'm not authorized to access his calendar, so i wish him the best of luck in whatever angry action he wishes to take.

the shuttle home was pleasant, half the ride i spent chatting about university with a girl who's being released within one day of my official date, and the other i spent tucked in an un-air-conditioned corner [much less uncomfortable] kipping.

---i've been online since i arrived back home. i should nap a bit. i'm not sure if i want to go to gn1's birthday party.

[post closed to daydin - dance with me]

---i'm not familiar with lady gaga; bad romance is a pretty cool video.

cheese advert: my sister finds some really cool stuff sometimes :)

men without hats - safety dance: have i never seen this before? it's genius!

i haven't heard a lot of good about it, but from the promo (obviously, yeah, i know) the ipad looks pretty cool. just putting that out there.

i missed the oscars. and i'm never ashamed. this year in particular.

i just ordered the annotated alice [i was irked by the audacity of the algebra op-ed] and dr horrible's sing-along blog. i didn't know that my copy of the name of the wind hadn't been sent yet, so it was a lucky click that brought me to that discovery.

you can combine orders? sweet! :)

more stuff i didn't know about japan. no eating and walking? bugger.

anti-valentine

i quickly post before hopping to the comfort to jump around a bit, still waking up from what was supposed to be a power nap on the couch and felt more like a nightmare on the couch - imaginary creepy-crawlies eating me and not even managing to complete watching the colour of magic.

now i need to bounce even more to make up for it.

---i *just* missed the bus this morning, but was fortunate to make the second bus and was only five minutes late to meet with our pointy-haired boss, who was kind enough to wait for me.

for someone who'd slept only two and a half hours after feeling terrible all weekend, i was doing just fine. breakfast with nystire was alright, and was completed by brownies one of my virtual team-mates made (i'm not certain how i fit in organizationally anymore). i spent the morning chatting [including to wr, who surprised me with a call] and practising with the guitar.

[i paid a visit to the doctor, and walked out having received both good news and bad news]

---i heard that one of the base discipline officer's cronies (a civilian "contractor") was holding one of our soldiers' id cards, and took offence. it's not only an illegal thing to take place from both sides, it's bloody stupid because without it a soldier on duty's got problems. i walked into his office, and asked him to show me the directive that makes his action legitimate.

"it's definitely okay, don't worry."
"show me."
"they're doing it on other bases, too."
"then that needs fixing. show me."
"okay, okay. here - i'm sending an email to verify."

i got him to cc that email to us, and if he can't back it up he's in deep shit. *and* i'll file a personal complaint, i don't like it when people lie to me. i don't like it at all.

---lunch wasn't particularly good, and the effects were felt almost immediately. i was still a bit lost (swimming in a sea of slipping consciousness as my digestive system was taxed to the max) when gn1 called. it had taken me forever to formulate an appropriate sms.

it then took forever for us to get through a breakup talk that was really painful for both of us. i think more for her than me, though. she had me feeling like a bit of a heel, actually.

i got a terrible haircut - counting off one closer to the last i'll have in the army - and was surprised by what appears to be the new trend. for the first time, i managed to explain to the guy not to "tidy" my fringe and temples and be understood. he didn't even try to trim them. however, without warning he swiped a blade between my eyebrows and temples - an area i definitely didn't need touching. frack, next they're going to start offering bikini waxes and shit.

...

i gave nyah-nyah her first guitar lesson, which went well. my TL rocked up, and discovered that the cd i needed to begin working was already sitting on the keyboard next to me, so i could've been productive from the morning already. if the idiot who'd organized it had *said* something about it to us, it might've been useful.

before setting up my new pc, i went shopping for myself, nystire and the kinder - i managed to leave wearing my undershirt and jacket only (regarding the top half of my uniform), and i'm really lucky that the discipline officer didn't catch me shirtless. especially after the morning's incident :/
i'd also forgotten that there aren't any plastic bags at the local, so i had quite a time trying to carry all the orders at once :P

setting up was amusing, i'm now sitting at the unit commander's secretary's desk. the makes all of us feel awkward. at one point i had to return a cable to nystire, and i threw it at him from the other side of his partition shouting "snake!" - which suitably freaked him out :)

a quick chat about the breakup with my TL in earshot, and he made a very good suggestion. on it, i've written a short list of the basic criteria for any girl i date, and i should probably [not] present it to any potential suitor in the form of a written questionnaire.

it poured with rain most of the day, and a few of us were caught in it trying to leave the base. as soon as the rain slowed, the sun came out for a gorgeous sunset. i went past dizengoff on the way home, bought a costume for tomorrow's base celebration (i'm dressing as a spy), and walked home (again in the rain) to try to nap before going out.

now i'm going out :)

the ascent

[it's *really* hard for me to type right now]

breakfast turned out to be a bit complicated: the irish member of ze germans and an english friend of ours made it fairly clear that they're not interested in breaking bread with us anymore, so the german birthday girl from last week [breakfast girl] and i arranged to meet at ducks.

it was an ice-cold day, and my sweater wasn't cutting it. i found a table that was more or less sheltered from the elements to wait a few minutes for breakfast girl and her friend to arrive. we sat talking and debating the menu for a short while, and were belatedly informed that ducks don't serve breakfast after 2pm anymore... that's not in line with the general tel aviv attitude.

we missioned up and down dizengof (we went a bit too far due to a navigational accident that i blame myself for) until we found a place that looked good - can't recall the name - and sat down to what turned into a highly enjoyable hour or two of eating really good food and talking a lot. the pace wasn't even broken when breakfast girl's awkwardly quiet sister joined us :P

i was on my way home when scrapper called, and he and a friend were waiting for me at rabin square when i arrived there ten minutes later. we began with "the downing of the snickers" - scrapper has a thing about snickers, which is nothing to complain about - and commenced another frisbee-in-the-rain session that was a lot of fun.
slippery, dangerous fun :)

we missioned to le gufre afterwards for hot chocolate and their fantastic heaters (one in particular worked its magic and caused steam to rise from our hair), and after that i returned home for an amazing hot shower. i don't really recall much between that point and gn1's arrival.

gn1 is particularly critical about my style of living - i have to admit i'm quite amused to hear that i'm living the typical bachelor's life :P

we went for a fairly long walk about the city until we settled at jeremiah's for dinner. their food is always fantastic. we were both absolutely exhausted by the time we left.

...

i woke up an hour or two before i got out of bed this morning, and fairly soon received a phone call from scrapper letting me know that he'd be picking me up soon. i made quick-and-dirty sandwiches, dressed appropriately, and we headed off to the sportec's climbing wall accompanied by system of a down.

i've been wanting to do this since it opened.

it was a great day, we all learned a lot, and we've agreed to try and do this weekly. during my second climb i almost fainted, but some apple juice and a coke got me back into the groove. by my last attempt my arms were simply unresponsive, though... even now i'm still finding it difficult to grip things :P

i got a ride home, read comics and skimmed through some news, and began watching another episode of battlestar galactica before being distracted by preparations for frisbeer with karnaf. by the time i got to his side of the city it had gotten too dark to play, though, so we sat at jeremiah's over beers, whiskeys and soup, and talked for an hour or two. then it was time to head back...

i've just spoken to my mum, had a shower, and talked to gn1 - in about half an hour she's picking me up and the evening events will begin. i think i might require some caffeine :P

contemplation

i read comics, watched some battlestar galactica, and passed out on the couch. i woke up a few hours later, pulled myself back into shape, showered and walked.

i eventually caved in and took a taxi, whose driver impressed me no end by taking an honest-to-goodness efficient route. i got to the club at a relatively fair price, and the guest list price brought the cost of the evening to "average". now if only i'd brought "average" sort of money... with taxi, entrance, one beer, one rum and coke, one energy drink and two chocolates i was barely left with bus fare home :P

speaking of which, that energy drink and the chocolates could barely keep me standing - the music was great, but i was feeling so drained that i was almost sleeping standing up. i didn't see anybody i know, but the fact that botchman was planning on going proved a good enough indicator that it would be a decent crowd. last time i went on the spur of the moment, and the people were a bit iffy.

when i wasn't bouncing - and most of the morning the beats were made of solid, floor-rumbling stuff - i was processing the past week. i consider it a combination of prayer and meditation, and i think i have (to a certain extent) made peace with my present situation. also, i spent a lot of time contemplating how much of my experiences i keep to myself and how much i try to share with the world. i see myself as a sort of conduit, a role which i'm not uncomfortable with as a parallel to what i'm busying myself with but which i must be wary of in its ability to overtake my personal priorities.

the walk to the bus home was beautiful, i tried to capture something of it with my camera but i suspect that what's in my memory is all that i'll keep. i'll probably post the snaps anyway, because i'm beginning to appreciate even the crap photos as reminders.

i showered and went straight to bed, sleeping wonderfully and waking really slowly. as i lay waiting for my alarm to harass me into physically getting up, i pondered my (excessive) communication with gn1. i think there're a lot of things that are impossible to know without throwing oneself into a relationship, and i'm curious to see how much of an actual fit there is as opposed to the purely intellectual.
how will our extremely differing opinions and tastes affect each other?

wow. i haven't seen potential for something serious in a long, long time.

am i?

does the fact that i've been in a mood and wanting to drink the entire day make me an alcoholic?

i woke up to make some difficult phone calls, and spent the morning cleaning my apartment and fiddling with my netbook, who i've taken to calling niamh (neev).

the first phone call was to a woman who i *really* need to be onboard, and she sounded so incredibly disinterested that it injected me with a sense of hopelessness that's clouded everything since.

while setting up, having found an open network in the neighbourhood, i began chatting with gn1 online... we've been talking non-stop, except when i haven't been in. i'm beginning to feel like we've already crossed a boundary or two :P

i managed to wear down the battery, and moved to my pc. i found a good picture of niamh, but was disappointed by my search for one of ukko so i snapped my own from the horned god. it was a chilly walk to the print shop, and i was dressed in black from head to toe to indicate my mood.

while i was there our unit secretary called me up to perform an urgent duty - we have to sign off the vacation days we took last year. we're going to ignore the fact that it's february already (already?! wow!), and i'm not going to go all the way to the base to sort it out. halfway through what she was dictating to be sent, she told me she'd call me back in five minutes.

i spent those five minutes, and then another five, becoming a master of the guillotine. i'm very lucky i didn't screw the stickers up...
i was half an hour away when she finally called back... "but i said approximately five minutes!"
and in that sense, i'm approximately argentinian.

i'm quite happy with the stickers (click to enlarge):

i went shopping for cupboard doorknobs and toilet paper, and came back with everything but. i spent the next hour or two continuing to chat with gn1, and doing a bunch of other things in the background (but without concentrating, so aside from a conversation with my TL i can't remember a thing).

i've been wondering about what to do tonight. i was planning on going to hear nir geva at levontin, but it turned out to be the wrong nir geva. gasoline is going to hear someone i'm not interested in, and so it looks i'm going to return to the comfort - hopefully i won't be going alone this time.

all this talking did have a couple of good consequences - first and foremost being the realization that my mother's advice is correct. if i make a noise and give someone an excuse to imprison me, then my release date with be pushed further away and that's counter-productive. i'm trying to push everyone to move fast, but if the worst comes to pass i'm just going to have to focus on my evenings and make the best of them. i won't jeopardize my planned travels or my holidays.

i finally had that slug of rum. i don't think it did too much for me.

smile

ahh - a languid, lazy wake-up, a hot chocolate and ambient trance morning while continuing to transfer 2005, finally taking a step to insure my netbook, planning on taking the netbook for breakfast... and receiving an sms from girl no. 1 (gn1) telling me she'd like to go with me to a trance party.

erm. okay... is this a joke? am i being set up?
i'll just have to go along for the ride :)

girl no. 1

i read a bit of wired, napped, shaved - cutting myself twice, played a round of crash bandicoot 3 - sucking at it, and walked out with marshmallow coffee.
everything's better with marshmallows. and pirates.

fortunately the bus was empty, so the bus driver wasn't impatient with me when he realized that i needed to be one stop away from where i'd asked for, and that made it a different price :P

i spent the ride considering just how much of a difference the past week has made - i have discovered that the world outside is as i expected it would be, that i am just fine and that i have a ton of shit to do that i'm going to thoroughly enjoy doing ^_^

the date: it was definitely a date. once again i'm forced to ask myself if i screwed it up, because the goodbye was a bit awkward... but in general, it was great: we entered the movie half an hour late because we'd gotten so wrapped up in conversation over beers, and we both enjoyed it anyway (the men who stare at goats - they did a good job, especially with the soundtrack and the cinematography is great).

right - i've just spent over an hour transferring my records of 2004 to an editable format, and it's definitely time for bed.

spirit was mentioned during the conference - xkcd says it better, as usual :)

the order of the stick - because i just don't read enough webcomics