sweaty in sheep's clothing

örmagörd.

it's soooooo hot. and we only have one fan, it's in the bedroom. i'm standing here with the window and door open to the night air and i'm sweating bullets.

after a great weekend, i went into work today and found myself very comfortable indeed. it's a great environment, the conditions are excellent and my team members? very smart, and very chilled. and even if they weren't i would be making the best of it, but i hope my first impression lasts. the funny thing is that one of the reasons i'm so at home is because it's just like the army: a big company with more bureaucracy than employees. very dilbert, without a very NOT-pointy-haired boss. very i-can-handle-this-shit.

---friday:

i performed my duties while gd watched half of american: the bill hicks story. we sat down to eat, all excited about watching the amazing spiderman 2 on crackle, but it was just the trailer. it should have said TRAILER, then. bastards!

so we watched bad boys instead, learning the ads by heart as they each repeat three or four times every twenty minutes.

---saturday:

waking up was tough, and "ghetto shaving" without water wasn't actually as bad as i thought it'd be. the craigslist guy delayed my exit because he woke up too late to meet at our appointed time and i had shit to do. after making me wait for ages the day before, he should have been too embarrassed to screw that up :/

i made my appointment just on time, the consultation was brief and not particularly enlightening. my neck was too tanned to get started with the treatment, though, so i made an appointment for three weeks' time and i'm supposed to be exceedingly careful about staying out of the sun. i've had more exposure with less protection in the two days since than in a long time, which is kinda embarrassing...

i picked up a coffee bodum to replace gd's nail-you-in-the-hand one, met the craigslist dude for a smooth handover and slumped on the couch for more ffix. that damned grotto is mean! but after a few attempts (and, i'm ashamed to admit, a quick glance at a walkthrough) i got through to the boss and he's waiting for me for next time.

i left home late to meet vfmp and his boyfriend, and arrived with about three minutes to spare - talk about cutting it close. half an hour later we were in the suburbs (west island), enjoying a beautiful afternoon with badger and co in the swimming pool, stuffing ourselves on a great vegan barbeque and then losing myself in the jacuzzi. i've got to get us a hot tub. i felt like i'd returned to the womb, i don't remember when last i relaxed so perfectly! high on a hot tub, i was.

badger's dogs (boxers) are wonderful, one of her friends broke the ice by farting loudly as she joined us poolside (she's pregnant), and all around everyone was nice and interesting. the music was good too, it turns out that badger's into good trance :)

i was disappointed when gd called to say she couldn't make it, but not surprised. her timing was excellent, though, because the guys were just leaving so we all went together. gd and i had an evening of bad boys and massages. not quite as good as a jacuzzi, but certainly nothing to complain about.

---yesterday:

there was a scary freak-out at 1am caused by a leg cramp, followed by deep dreaming and stunningly restful sleep. newk'd and his girlfriend came over for haircuts and i taught them both the basics of tekken, and it was gratifying to see them both get it and to see her beat him in a close round :D

we left for yoga in the park, and our exit was plagued by not-a-comedy of errors. our spirits and tensions bobbed up and down until we got to the park, where we met up with horseman and gd's best friend and did some really hard yoga that had at least two of us feeling all bubbly and good afterwards!

i tried really hard to avoid the sun but even my oversized hat couldn't protect me; we made our way to see great friends of gd's who i hadn't met yet and our first stop was a new vegan place that had just closed for the afternoon. fortunately they have a car, so we drove over to aux vivres which is always full of win.

the couple is fascinating, he's a writer and she's a producer / director / artist, and he's also slowly becoming a well-respected self-taught physicist. we all talked for hours, my brain was really flexing and being stretched and it was so nice to feel like it was mutual!

after they left, gd made delicious noodles, we watched about half of men in black 3 and then quickly passed out.

---today:

no snooze for you! gd was having none of it. i crawled out of bed, did the dishes and made breakfast, then climbed into an argument of gd's because a "friend" of hers kept attacking her for having a different view of what's happening in the middle east. i'd post here what i wrote but i've already said that i'm done for now, though it's a relief that instead of fueling the fire what i wrote managed to get her to back off.

...

dressing like a grown-up sucks, but i'm very fond of gd's drawing for the day which is of me dressed up as a capital letter.

[revenge exit difficulty]

i left a little later than i'd planned, and was horrified to see 18 minutes till the next metro written on the display! fortunately they'd gotten it wrong and just before i gave up and rushed off to find a cab the next one entered the station. i could NOT be late for my first day.

inside the metro and out, i was sweaty in my sheep's clothing. in spite of that, i felt good and confident with the orientation. i would spend the rest of the day setting up my dev station and learning the ropes. one of those ropes was finding lunch, and after a couple of failed searches i ended up walking all the way to my old supermarket. we have no freezers, so i'll have to pick up a frozen meal every day and the walk takes a good chunk of my lunch hour...

it's a nice excuse to walk outside, but there was a lot of sun and i was unprotected :(
and for some reason my liver was hurting me. i suspect dehydration. at least once i got back i learned where the coffee and purified water are located.

i returned sweaty after my walk and then proceeded to nuke my lunch; when i opened it and the steam hit my face things got even worse! once i got back upstairs, i made a point of going around my team and inspecting them for dress code. tomorrow, i'm going in wearing shorts and a t-shirt :)

i walked out feeling like i'd have to be a complete asshole to be fired. i mean, i'm competent and professional, they're easy-going people and i only have to do my job. which looks interesting and challenging enough.

...

i stopped by walmart to finally pick up sunscreen, tried and failed to find a good sports bag and saw a sign that said $7 for badminton sets. gd wants to play, so i thought "how convenient!", picked up a set and went to pay. i was not pleasantly surprised when the bill came to $10 more than i was expecting, and after waiting for a manager for ages and then dragging him back to the source of the trouble we discovered that some asshole had thrown a completely different (much higher quality) badminton set in the wrong rack.

jolly good :/

...

i came home, went for a good run and sat down to a feast gd had prepared. neither of us had the energy to watch much, having to fold laundry and make the bed was a bit of a buzz-kill and i really shouldn't be drinking beers in the middle of the week. i had shit to do.

but at least i've written this, right?

between the vulcans and dr who - part one

what i really need is one of those special grips to make all my muscles relax. and perhaps realign my spine? kthxbye.

---sunday:

the first news of the day was that wp is engaged, which doesn't evoke much in me simply because i've never met his fiancée; but i'm happy for him nonetheless.

it was a gorgeous, sunny morning and we went out to atwater market, which was fun until the wind came up. i couldn't find anything to eat there, though, even the sandwich place with a vegan employee couldn't produce anything that didn't have meat or cheese on it...

i was rather hungry by the time we got to midi 6, so much so that their off-menu vegan option that's usually too much for me was precisely the right amount. gd's ex rolled up (she was getting her hair cut) and we hit it off famously, but after lots of talking i needed a nap so that's what i did while gd did her thing. her ex is an anime freak, and her cut was modelled off a character she likes. i can't say i'm a huge fan of the style, but gd certainly captured the look!

one way to get gold in dragon coins is to watch ads, and i watched one for tales of honor. i haven't played enough yet to form a solid opinion, but the fact that it's such a huge game that can be played on a mobile is pretty damned impressive. and the concept is very battlestar galactica, which is just up my alley.

i almost, to use protoplasm's expression, saw my own arsehole as i helped gd take out the trash. i misjudged a concrete step and came scarily close to twisting my ankle. i'm very, very grateful to all the gods that that didn't happen.

we hit the supermarket and shopped until i almost dropped, then returned to my place to treat my suddenly bloated belly with beans. we watched an episode of canadian dragon's den, which was kinda interesting, then took a walk to the shell select to pick up something we'd forgotten earlier.

it was a fine walk and talk until i said something on our way back that was grossly misunderstood (granted, i knew as i was saying it that it wasn't the right way to say it) and that turned into a pretty major and decidedly unpleasant argument. once the main issue was resolved we then had to discuss how aggressive i'd been during the argument, so i got to feel like shit twice.

eventually we resolved everything, although finally closing the story would have to wait until the next morning. and then everything was awesome again.

---yesterday:

i slept well but had crazy, epic dreams that i totally forgot about when i got up. i'd have random flashes from them during the day but nothing i could grasp...

i still wasn't feeling 100%, but i was definitely better. the first note of the day was exciting: solar FREAKIN' roadways is an excellent video put together by a fellow supporter of the cause. you should watch it, if you haven't seen it, and then consider putting a little bit of your money into a shinier version of the future we're facing.

gd and i enjoyed a slow, chilled start to the day and then went down to godmother's, stopping at the florist on the way. the florist was so happy to see me with someone and so grateful for the little assistance gd gave him with a french customer that when we returned to pick up a plant she really liked he gave it to her for one dollar.

and that was after uncle hate indicated his approval, so we were on fire! the only awkward thing was that i have this habit of putting my hands together and bowing when i'm grateful, and i felt pretty foolish when i unthinkingly did that to an asian dude. but whatever.

rabbit and horseman had given me some pretty good ideas for a summer poetry slam series, and i figured out a way to make it marketable and charitable at the same time - i was quite pleased when everyone i spoke to agreed that it's a good plan.

godmother told me about a new place across the road from her that's recently opened, and we went to take a look. chimera: it's a game store / coffee shop, they have a great selection, great prices and a vegan-friendly menu. we'll be doing that, then :)

something from lunch was stuck between my teeth and aggravating me, and gd just happened to have floss in her bag. so i took it out and used it while we waited for the metro. that was a bit weird. but not as weird as the guy i saw once clipping his nails on the train.

i spoke to my mom when we got to gd's place; her car died and it's a decidedly inconvenient time for that. i mean, it's always an inconvenient time but this one is particularly uncomfortable :(
[at least the news from today seems relatively upbeat.]

i missioned to a park to sit and chill with newk'd and his girlfriend. we had a great time, but there was an incident when we parted that made me feel strange. i don't remember what inspired me to do it, and i think it was appreciated, but it nevertheless makes me uncomfortable that i always feel the urge to read poetry at people in inappropriate (to my mind) settings.

gd and i went on another interminable shopping mission, then returned to her place where she cooked up a storm while i absorbed myself in another case solved. the non-mission puzzles that you use to pay for real cases run out too quickly.

i introduced gd to how i met your mother and community: she seems to prefer the former. i find it most entertaining to watch these series again knowing what's coming.

[continued...]

long weekend goodness

we've been together for just about a week now, and already trying to imagine not being with gd seems impossible. this relationship is at a level that wouldn't seem reasonable if i were watching it in a movie. there've been so many weird little things that make it seem like the universe just wants us to be together, and it's kinda hard to ignore them even as skeptical me rolls his eyes.

just before he shrugs, smiles and silently approves. because it's awesome and fun and good and feels right ^_^

---thursday:

i was so tired that i fell asleep watching guy steele on growing a programming language, which is unbelievably clever meta-poetry that you only start to *get* once he's built it up a bit. he's doing what?? using what?? anyway, it's awesome and deserves some of your time if you're a software developer. or into poetry.

i felt awful when i woke up, suffering that ugly feeling when you're forcibly dragged from a state of unconsciousness that your body desperately requires that you be in. gd came over with her kickboxing gear as we'd been planning on heading to tristar together, but she was also exhausted so instead we spent the night introducing her to firefly and enjoying pitaya, rum, liquorice and chocolate after ascertaining that she digs my salads.

that made for a good night.

---friday:

i woke up with bon jovi - bad medicine stuck in my head after another sleepless night. i was so busy getting ready for the day that i forgot breakfast. what?!

...

the good friday crowd at the clinic wasn't too bad. i didn't have to wait for too long, but it was a bit uncomfortable being sent into a doctor's office only to have to wait for another five or ten minutes. the doctor seemed embarrassed when she realized that i literally only needed a minute of her time after i'd waited for so long.

while waiting i received a message from aaa, and i had time to finally put together a response (in french) that totally covered everything while not being offensive. she definitely *gets* it now, and i seem to have managed to rescue her ego: after she told me it was a bit of a blow, i explained that gd and me being more compatible doesn't have anything to do with her not being wonderful. did that really help? i can't tell, but that's the story i'm telling myself and i'm sticking to it.

i walked out of the clinic just in time to make it to my "poetry date" at cagibi with rabbit. the girl serving me at cagibi was very cool, and she even allowed me to keep a tab - i felt very special :)
their vegan treats were as good as they said they were.

rabbit and i spent the next hour or two talking productively, figuring out a collaborative project we want to do, and critiquing each other's works just like i'm used to from the wondering workshop. we really clicked, had a great time and will definitely be doing that again soon ^_^

newk'd and i had a bit of a misunderstanding, so instead of him meeting me at the designated time at the designated place, i headed to his area and we sat down for ndg bagels. the vegetarian options left much to be desired, and i ended up having to put vegetables on my vegetables on my bagel with a side order of salad. it was a lot, it wasn't bad but it's good that the whole thing was more about talking than eating. i'm excited for him that he's heading off to toronto next week to compete in game production!

i returned home, napped for an hour and went to the gym. boxing had been cancelled so i worked on the bags for an hour. it was mostly good, but i was feeling tired and had to take frequent rests. ugh :(

afterwards i went to gd's, we ordered indian and watched more firefly. she wanted to continue when we finished the train job but i simply couldn't keep my eyes open any more...

---yesterday:

i slept much better than the night before but i still woke up sleepy. i thought i'd get some stuff done when i got home but instead napped for another hour, falling into that deep, black slumber that my brain so desperately needed. i woke up feeling much better but having snoozed so much that i didn't have time to draw cash or make / get coffee, so i pulled an energy drink from the fridge, hunted down a couple of bills and hurried to luna yoga.

i arrived *just* in time, and i'm now paid up for all-access for a month. i found myself positioned at the front of the class, which kinda sucked because the only person i could watch for cues didn't seem to have much of a clue either and the instructions came so fast they were hard to follow sometimes. the lesson was great, though. the instructor reinforced my sense of "living right" and basically had me grinning non-stop as i meditated on the previous week.

the only problem with the class, really, was that my arms felt soooooo weak. otherwise, everything was great and i was very satisfied.

i wanted to invite pulse out for lunch, but i didn't have my wallet with me. she was hungry and in a hurry to eat, but i got her to agree to meet me at vendôme station after she did some quick shopping. in order to make our rendezvous i postponed showering, but when i arrived i got a message informing me that she was being held up and would need another twenty minutes. i totally could've showered :/

instead, i waited in the beautiful sunshine and worked on the slam. i'm really pleased with it now, after minor updates suggested by rabbit and making some major strides in its performance. i can't wait for next month!

pulse and i took out excellent indian food and discussed the details of the previous week. i was a bit surprised to hear her complain that this isn't the first time she's successfully set up someone she's dated with someone else... i didn't need to remind her that she let me go, but something that she let slip was quite flattering and i told her how pleased i am that we're still friends. i kinda wish there was some way to help her find the right guy for her, but that's not how this stuff works...

i visited chez geeks and struggled to find an appropriate board game for vfmp's birthday gift. then i realized i could get him a gift card for them - ideal! while browsing i came across mr. card game. the guy at the store hated it so much he recommended i never try it. this guy thinks it's amazing.

huh.

---thought for the day: "where / how do blind beggars relieve themselves?"
it's bad enough to handle toilets being blind, but blind and homeless? oh, man.

---it was hard to stay conscious on the metro home, and on the metro to gd's, and the nodding off then was as close to siesta as i was going to get. we went to yuan for dinner to celebrate vfmp's birthday, our first social outing as a couple. after that we returned to manga-thé, again because getting into randalph's wasn't happening.

dinner was really good, though anything sushi sucked and there were no drinks AT ALL on the all-you-can-eat menu. it was bizarre coming to grips with the facts that almost all the items om the menu were vegan, and the fake meat items were mostly really good. the mint tofu was odd. just sayin'.
we played forbidden island again, had a wildly entertaining time of it, and called it a night once we'd won.

it was a good night. and i'm really glad that vfmp and co and gd all get along so well! :D

---today:

we were both exhausted by the time we eventually fell asleep, but woke up feeling properly rested. on a sunday morning when we could sleep in. YES!!!

we tried to have breakfast at a local spot but it was closed for easter. on the way we discovered that we both love it rubs the lotion on its skin. so that was the earworm for the morning :)

gd barters her services as a stylist, and a couple of guys came over for haircuts in the late morning. the first was a friend who i've now adopted as one of mine, we've got a crazy amount in common in addition to the fact that he's looking for people to play arkham horror expansions with. we talked for ages about all sorts of things, and he might be a good work contact as well!

the second was one of the guys who runs her gym, he was pleasant enough but gave me an odd look of appraisal when he heard i train at tristar. i don't know what that meant.

---while the first guy got his hair cut, i noticed a piece of art on the wall that's strikingly similar to f (including the textual overlay, although the theme's a little different).

"hey - who painted this?"
"i did."

jaw on the floor.

---we returned to midi 6, had way too much food and talked non-stop. i'm fascinated by how different we are on some things and how similar on others. sometimes it's quite jarring to switch from one to the other, but there's mutual respect even when we disagree and it's effortless. we argue with the same intensity and the same intention, and that's not only rare but it's extremely gratifying!

i went to godmother's for tea and a long chat. suddenly it was 5pm and i *had* to come home, because aside from posting this and tending to my apartment i'm on dinner duty so that my salad ingredients don't go to waste :P

april 1st

there's a man outside with a leafblower going up and down the parking lot and making a lot of noise. i watched him for a few moments, fascinated by the fact that there're no leaves to be seen anywhere. he must be doing a particularly good job.

---it's gotta be the yoga, i woke up yesterday feeling indescribably relaxed and comfortable, and "well"... i didn't want to get out of bed at all. i woke up this morning feeling the same. is this a thing? i really want it to be a thing.

i wanted to do something for april fool's, and settled on posting what i thought was ridiculously obvious: i've decided it's time for another tattoo... i'm thinking on my lower back this time. something tribal, maybe? what do you guys think?
some of the responses were in on the joke and hysterically funny, some of them were just as funny but surprised me with their seriousness - it was such fun! i got a few good laughs out of it, which i'd soon discover that i'd really need...

---the h&r "specialist" i had an appointment with is a russian with bad english. for an hour we talked at cross purposes and struggled over all the tax rules and the documentation that i'd brought. half the time she was trying to explain things to me that didn't need explaining, generating immense confusion. the entire process was tedious to say the least, but eventually we got through it.

now, the way people here have been talking about tax returns i understood that it's something that you have to do, but that by and large the tax that's automatically taken out of each salary payment is usually too much and that if one does things correctly one can expect a bit of cash back. the only disappointment i was expecting was to walk away $120 poorer (the 80 that i was quoted for the filing, and another 40 for reprinting the supporting documentation).

i felt like my chair had been pulled out from under me when she explained that i owe the canadian government $1000. i was shocked, i was unhappy, and it took the woman a while to explain this to me (albeit unsatisfactorily) - i even sent messages to aota and newk'd to verify that what she was saying made any sort of sense. before they could respond, though, the woman hit me with a bigger surprise.

i felt like the ground had opened up beneath me when she explained that in addition to owing the canadian government $1000, i owe québéc $2000. i went from shocked to traumatized, and was horrified when both aota and newk'd told me that this kind of thing is normal. then how the hell has nobody even mentioned this before?!?!

why is godmother, who's lived here for thirty years, also surprised?!

this was all bad enough, but to add insult to injury i was then informed that having h&r fill out my forms for me would actually cost $300.
"i'm so sorry," she informed me, "but it's the system, not me."

beneath the distress, anger bubbled. i will not be robbed on top of being robbed. i explained that they'd quoted me at 80, and that i wouldn't be paying more than 80. she seemed genuinely sorry, and i tried to explain that i was grateful for her services but that i would be taking my custom elsewhere. i took all my documentation and i walked. thinking about how very stupid they are for being dishonest... or at least not forthcoming with their quotes... because the poor woman just struggled through an hour of providing me the best service she could and nobody's going to see a cent for it.

*shakes head*

i kept hoping she'd call me back and yell "april fool" into the phone, tell me that it was all a shitty prank and that i should come back to finish filing and receive my return :(

---i sat in the food court forcing myself to eat and breathe and re-evaluate my position. i cooled down a bit when i realized that this puts me into my worst-case scenario of having to find a job within a month and a half before having to leave. not much consolation, but consolation nonetheless. i had a date scheduled for the afternoon and i would've cancelled otherwise. there's no point going on a date in a distressed state.

so i had my first coffee and reworked a bit of my comic script, then hurried home. i had little time between arriving home and leaving for the date, and most of it was consumed with communicating. the most important call was with my mother, who's offered a backup plan that relieves a solid layer of stress.

---the date? i thought it was really nice and that we had a good time. she was more attractive than in her photos, she's fascinating and she speaks in imperfect english with a really cute british accent (she's french but lived in england); when we said goodbye she sent me a massively mixed signal by gripping my arm in a way that could either mean she didn't want to let go OR that she's pitying me because she did. considering the fact that she hasn't responded to a message i sent her last night i'm guessing it's the latter. which is a bummer.

...

when i wanted to pay and leave there was a sudden influx of customers - one of whom shamelessly cut in front of me, which was weird, and even weirder when she apologized after she'd paid. then i was facing the girl behind the counter with a long line behind me, trying to explain in french that i wanted to pay for our coffees and "delay" a bowl of soup. there was nothing complicated about what i was saying, but she couldn't understand me and after trying twice i said it in english.
so then she got loud. "OH. YOU WANT TO PAY? FOR YOUR COFFEE? THANK YOU! AND YOU WANT TO DELAY A SOUP! THANK YOU!" she shared with the entire building.

i was so embarrassed :$

---rush hour on the metro. ugh.

for the first time in ages i went to jiu-jitsu. i really had trouble with last night's exercises and i was feeling a bit stupid. then there was an exercise where i was sure that my partner was doing it wrong. i tried to explain it to him but he showed me why i was confused, so i apologized for wasting his time and gave him some of my "turn" as compensation. then zahabi called us all in to explain that a few of us were off, and in slow-motion showed us precisely what i'd been trying to explain in the first place.

so there was that...

the dude destroyed me during rolling, i just couldn't get my shit together. i cut early to prepare for kickboxing. i was telling the jolly moroccan about my april fool's prank and my yoga instructor asked me what a "tramp stamp" is. when i told her, she was mortified because... she has one.
*facepalm*
between that and the shark thing, i'm going to need to vet everything i say in front of her before i open my mouth :P

the amount of leg kicks we had to absorb last night was ridiculous. i walked out thinking "the beatings continued and morale improved", went home and spent the next hour or so applying ice packs and watching thérèse. it's weird seeing audrey tautou playing not-amélie right after seeing amélie. i barely understood what was going on. i'm going to need to re-watch it until i do.

---i was supposed to meet with vfmp this morning but he's been unreachable. instead, i applied for a couple of jobs and wrote this. now i'm going to do some studying.

a couple of first steps

the biggest news of the day? i made it through yesterday morning's phone interview. awesome! so i have reason to keep my head down and continue to study hard. i also have a couple of fun ideas to explore that the interview inspired, which is cool.

the second biggest? i interviewed this morning with an ex-co-worker's partner who i thought was just a recruiter, but it turns out her firm actually employs developers in order to contract them out - which is what i was doing in israel, essentially. they're excited about my resume, and if i interview successfully with any of their clients they'll make me an offer. sweet!

the third biggest? my french results are available. i was going to go and get them but the metro broke down so i'll have to go on monday.

because in a few hours i'm going snowboarding. and then on saturday again with fp. awesome ^_^

---yesterday:

as i walked out the door i remembered a mistake i'd made during the interview, which i'd continue to be concerned about until hearing that i passed. i was asked a question and i gave an intuitive answer without doing the full calculation. i told the guy that that's what i'd done, and that if i was off i'd do it the hard way. he told me i was right, and i quipped "good guess!". why did i say that? what if he hadn't understood that i was joking?

i ate in one of the underground food courts downtown, the indian curry was delicious but the service experience was grating. the girl didn't tell me that the till wasn't working until after she'd served me, and then she didn't have reasonable change. i told her exactly what i thought, and i was relieved when she bothered to warn the next customer before taking his order.

lit crit: over lunch i read a story that, while not perfect, actually floored me. it was such a wonderful concept and the end was so well executed! unfortunately, the next story is as awful as the previous is good, and as a fan of the pirate genre i'm actually finding it offensive :@

i found the french results for the previous exams, and as soon as i saw that they keep them posted for a few weeks i relaxed. i returned home for a short rest (playing another case solved, i do that a lot) before going to the gym.

i arrived early so i used the opportunity to work on the heavy bags as a warm-up. the boxing class was good, after which i was sore and ready to load up on empty carbs with newk'd and co at the weekly art / beer / music thing at foufounes électriques. only newk'd was in hospital with food poisoning, so that didn't happen. considering the kind of junk he consumes, it's amazing that he only gets food poisoning once or twice a season and not once or twice a month :P

when i informed fp of tomorrow's snowboarding plans i was most pleasantly surprised by her suggestion to go together on saturday. very, very cool indeed. and if she has a car we could go to morin heights - my boxing coach will be there, he says it's much better than saint sauveur during the day.

i chatted with k-twang, which was fun, and watched masters of the universe.

---today:

i slept really well, requiring a second round after initially getting up. it was wonderful! i continued reading the shitty pirate story to the meeting with the recruiter. i didn't dress up, but i didn't dress badly either; i thought it was going to be a relaxed meeting with a friend of a friend. it pretty much was, but if i'd known that she was also a potential employer i'd have made an extra effort...

oh, well. the meeting was excitingly positive anyway.

i came home, had a big lunch while watching once upon a time. i'm most of the way through the second season, it's not bad but a lot of it feels forced.

after a quick nap i focused on sorting out taxes. i went through a bunch of records, then made a call to a company that handles these things for a fee. the woman who answered doesn't speak english, so i tried in french. the first couple of sentences were alright, but then... i know what i was saying was correct, but i was saying it so slowly and carefully that she stopped me and went to find someone else to speak to me in broken english.

not so good for the confidence.

my mom conferenced godmother into our skype chat and so i gave them both my news, then headed out to get my french results and go on a not-a-date. just as i was leaving i received a surprisingly direct love letter from sq. i don't know where to file that in my brain. between fp, sq, pulse and the non-date i kinda felt like i was juggling four women. strange.

after the metro failure i went to the area the non-date would be in, stopping at cafe juicy lotus for lentil soup and the biggest news of the day. so lots of messaging while trudging through the never-ending pirate tale until it was time to go to melk. i can see why i've never noticed the place before, all hidden away in a corner. godmother's friends' daughter was working there, so that was amusing. it's a small cafe and their coffee is really good. they have almond milk!

i think everyone could hear that i was on something like a date :P
the girl i met was interesting, but not that interesting. certainly not my type. we talked about all sorts of odd things for an hour, then i rushed off to get to the gym. which i arrived at late anyway, so instead of missing half the advanced class i worked on the heavy bags and joined the beginner's later.

one of the boxing trainers - the guy who organizes the fight nights and wants me to get in the ring - was poking fun at me for hitting the bags so hard.
"look at that anger! why are you so angry? it's because the bag's black, isn't it?" (he's black)
"no, dude - it's because that's the colour of my heart."
boy, was i proud to hear that come out my own throat without delay!

so i warmed up well, really pushing my body with a few different sets of exercises - striking and conditioning - then entered the class. i worked with a guy who's been out of commission for a couple of months, and i retrained his kicks and his uppercuts till he was hitting me seriously hard: the only reason i asked him to hold back a bit was because i didn't want to get injured before tomorrow :P

i was amused later when he called me "professor" - i may not be a good fighter (i've been called "robocop"), but i definitely "get" the theory (regarding technique) and it looks like i'm pretty good at teaching it.

i was really proud of myself for managing the final cardio sets at the end of class! the funniest part of the class was one of the new guys getting flustered when i pointed out to the jolly moroccan that he's the same body type and has the same style as dhalsim. it's awesome watching him :D

---facebook's underlying issues are becoming a serious problem. they've pretty much reached the point where the benefit to everyone being on it is outweighed by their shitty filtering. i think it's time for everyone to move to google+. or for someone to create an alternative.

pre-screening

aww, man. i ate at cafe juicy lotus today. they had a delicious quinoa-based vegan pizza, but i wonder if the woman was mistaken and there was cheese under all those veggies because i've had the most horrific headache since i got home. now is not the time, i've got my screening interview in the morning :(

---i forgot to mention that on my way out of the gym last night i tripped over army brat's tog bag that she'd left just around a corner. this wouldn't be interesting except that i walked into it with my cracked toe, which was finally healing and is now back to really sore :(

i woke up early this morning, in time to catch a majestic sunrise, then proceeded to spend my day studying with the occasional distraction. a constant over the last couple of weeks has been another case solved - it's just like 10000000 in terms of its grip, and oddly enough it has the same underlying mechanics. the story's pretty cool, though, and there're some levels i want to revisit because they contain some cool easter eggs.

i met up with newk'd at cafe juicy lotus to go over the basics of filling out tax returns. the tax bureau's envelopes are insanely complicated to open! i spoke to aota to clarify something that didn't seem right and it appears that megaman forgot to do something that may or may not be to my benefit in the long run. a lot of other customers were speaking hebrew, which was pretty weird. between today and the last time i spoke to pg, i'm amazed at how much french comes out when i'm trying for hebrew!

---i've been feeling crap since i got home, i hope it's not serious. i'm struggling to wrap my head around things that really aren't complicated and i couldn't even nap. ugh :(

distractions - part ii

[... continued]

about halfway through the night i registered that the boxing ring was set up in an emptied swimming pool. awesome!

the first fight was a bit weird, because after all the show of the pre-fight ceremony the guys barely moved. i expect people who weight 40lbs less than me to be quicker and more intense than me, not slower.

in one of the fights a combatant was doing a kind of mma hand-waving thing that's entirely inappropriate for muay thai. his opponent was so much better than him that in the middle of a round he made fun of him by doing the same hand motions. it was bizarre.

one of the fights was a kid we've all seen at the gym but who none of us have seen sparring. he trains with his shirt on, so we were all shocked when he stepped into the ring looking like he'd been drawn in a comic book. huge pecs and tiny waist, but he'd obviously been skipping leg day. friends don't let friends skip leg day.
his opponent was obviously high level and super-aggressive, and i was blown away by how quickly this dude recovered, figured his shit out and proceeded to dish out punishment. he didn't look like he had it in him!

one of the fighters i was really looking forward to was the guy who took our class a couple of weeks ago, and we were disappointed because while he did a good job, he barely used his legs! it turned out later that his opponent was so tough that after one or two kicks he understood that they'd be totally ineffectual and so he focused on the guy's face. that's hardcore, it's not like there could have been a significant weight difference.

the jolly moroccan: he had a good fight, but i was expecting fireworks. it was exciting, but not as exciting as i expected :(

the last couple of fights on the card were great, and really brought the night to a close on a good note.

...

i travelled most of the way home with one of the guys i train with, and we talked non-stop until parting company. i ate and watched freaks and geeks, then went straight to bed.

---today:

i slept late and woke up still really tired. i broke another glass this morning... one of the new, thicker ones. dammit :(
at least it didn't shatter.

i started posting and suddenly found myself running late for my date! and of course, there's nothing like running late and then just missing the metro. fortunately, even with the combined transportation delays i was only fifteen minutes late.

---the date:

it was immediately apparent, and i mean within a second of seeing her, that she's not my type. we met at myriade, a small connoisseurs coffee shop near guy-concordia, and the coffee was AMAZING. after sorting mine out i sat down across from her and we began chatting; for the first few minutes all i could think about was whether i should be cutting the date short instead of wasting our time. after a few minutes, though, i started trying to find her attractive (nonsensical, i know), because i really, really wanted to. to justify that, neither of us noticed the three hours that flew by as we discussed psychology, society and culture, the academy, performances, politics and language... she's interesting and engaging and awesome!

i hope we can be friends, and by that i mean that i hope i'm wrong about the look she gave me when we said goodbye - a look that i read as a hurt "shit, you're not into me". i feel really bad about that.

---otherwise, it was a beautiful afternoon and well spent! i didn't have much time to rest before the poetry slam, so i settled on watching the guild while hurriedly eating. season 7 is available on netflix! sweet :)

the crap news, though is that the filling that's been giving me trouble since the dentist had his way with it? the one that i haven't been able to eat with? well, i felt and heard something crack today, and now it's sensitive to everything. *LONG STRING OF EXPLETIVES DELETED HERE*

...

i rushed off to sign up, arriving late but in time. i met a couple of other poets and we entertained each other non-stop. horseman, newk'd, newk'd's girlfriend and friend showed up soon after everything began, and i must say that it was quite a relief to have support :)

---i went with preacher. apparently my performance was spot on, except for the very last word... it's like they keep shouting in the gym: "finish strong! finish strong!" - fail :(
but shit happens.

i didn't make it to round two, unfortunately - i guess the judges didn't like my style, but what was really moving for me was the rest of the audience's reaction; to know that there were people that i actually managed to touch to the point of yelling and cheering mid-performance, and to get such a warm response from random strangers afterwards was amazing! ^_^

i could yell "i was robbed" until i was blue in the face; i know how hard it is to judge and how subjective it is, and i'll just have to hope that my attempt next month manages to blow them away.

---newk'd and girlfriend and i went to aux vivres for dinner, eating and talking until they kicked us out. i've spent a little time on another case solved, and now that i've posted i'm going to hit the hay. i need to get cracking on my interview preparation in the morning.

---this article on time management covers me and distractions.

this old lecture on vegans and heart disease is still relevant. long, but full of interesting information. if you want a summary, though, eat ground flax and take b12 supplements.

drawing blanks

okay, i'm ready for a (relatively) early night. chris porter: ugly and angry is unbelievably funny, the second half was even better than the first!

---i slept terribly last night. i woke up to a message from comixology explaining that due to their servers being hacked we'd need to reset our passwords and change any similar passwords on other sites or services. well, it sounds like they weren't particularly diligent. i'm not impressed.

i spoke to a recruiter today and he seemed kinda enthusiastic. we'll see.

the cleaning lady came in after lunch, and we talked for a while about immigration politics and taxes. apparently i need to file my taxes soon. oh, shit. newk'd's pretty good with these things, i'm very glad he's willing to help me...

i wanted lunch but our subway doesn't do falafel, so i took a metro to another subway. or a subway to a subway. egads. anyway, it was good and while i was there i read this wired article about silicon valley that makes a very good case for social responsibility.

i then returned to my local starbucks to work on my comics. i got some good stuff done, excitingly so!

---while there my mother messaged me to remind me that it's been eleven years since her brother passed away. i started responding and got emotional, then erased what i was writing because i realized that it was for me, not for her. i don't usually get emotional about death, but eleven years ago when i found out i cried like a baby, and today i was taken by surprise to be tearing up in public.

---horseman arrived and i packed up, we walked the icy, icy walk to the metro and headed to la belle province - an uber-dodgy diner. as we completed ordering some old guy came up and began harassing us for not buying the delicious muffins that were on sale, because they're delicious *and* the proceeds go towards the children. how heartless could we be? he himself claims to be diabetic, so if it's important enough that *he* risks it then we should feel obliged. or heartless.

he was so up-in-our-faces about it, i actually expected things to get physical. people, man... people. i suspect he was just attempting to flirt with the disinterested teen behind the counter.

horseman and i talked about all sorts of things in french, then i headed back to hit the gym. jiu-jitsu felt a bit slow but eventually i got the basic techniques of the day. kickboxing began on an aggravating note because the class dumbass (i've mentioned him before) made a comment about israelis invading and stealing palestinian land. he wouldn't shut up when i told him to, and was shocked to discover that i'm an israeli. one of the guys is a palestinian refugee, his family having left in '48, and we couldn't just let it all slide...

... fortunately, the two of us share some of our views and we presented the mess together to the clueless who were interested. once that was off our collective chest we got into training; it was a particularly tough beginner's class and i was partnered with a first-timer. so it was up to me to teach him the basics and i spent some time with him on the bags afterwards. he's a football player, once he gets the kicks he'll be fine :P

...

after showering, i watched a couple more episodes of freaks and geeks and the better it gets the sadder i get that there's only one season :'(

that's it. that's my day. now to climb into bed and hope to wake up refreshed for tomorrow morning's telephone interview. or whatever it's supposed to be.

principles

so, like, wow. firstly, pulse: she sent me a long, obviously well thought-out missive explaining her position, the only real issue being a complete misunderstanding of my views regarding some fundamental things. i'm surprised and saddened by that, but not shocked because i realize precisely what the source of confusion is and i accept that it's my fault. which kinda sucks. so here's hoping for a redo...

secondly, i feel like i'm back in action regarding my training. i did muay thai and boxing this evening, it was tough but i powered through and feel totally solid. unfortunately, along the way i banged my ankle (not too seriously, but it's aggravating), managed to slam my wrist into somebody's elbow and i think that during the first (of two) impact training one of my ribs got slightly bruised :/

there was some serious weirdness with the girls; i think i made it clear to army brat that i'm only interested in her as a gym buddy but then the girl i gave the valentine's day chocolate to gave me a vega chocolate in return. anyway, they're both good for my french, and while we were talking i met a palestinian who runs a software house here and is looking for talent. cool :)

---i've now watched a couple of episodes of the good wife, and i'm enjoying it. it's kind of formulaic and kind of not? whatever.

i played a lot more tekken last night than i'd planned. shit's addictive.

...

i woke up from a dream in which i was watching tv outside in the rain, some kids came through and stole all sorts of shit... i caught them, beat them enough to get their attention and then lectured them.

i've been reading harry potter using the kindle app and not my actual kindle because the french / english dictionary i found was no good. but the kindle app's only french dictionary is french / french, so if you don't read french it's really tough to make heads or tails of things. i have a good french / english dictionary app as well, but switching between it and the kindle app causes a resync every - single - time, which is insane, so reading has been particularly slow going. and also not particularly good for my eyes, but anyway.
then i suddenly realized that i can read the book on my kindle and use the dictionary app simultaneously - that worked much better but was still far from comfortable. so this morning i decided to look again for a better dictionary for my kindle.

merriam-webster's french-english translation dictionary, kindle edition has some shitty reviews, but i couldn't find a better-looking option so i bit the $8 bullet... and lo! it's an excellent dictionary and now reading in french has become a pleasure. nice one!

so that's mostly what i was doing today. in the afternoon i took my kindle to starbucks for a change of scenery, but that's about it.

when i got home from training it was to a message from newk'd about an art evening at foufounes électriques, so i hurriedly gobbled down my super-salad and headed out there. they have a weekly competition to produce large pieces, and voting is done by placing sponsored beer cans into provided bins. very clever... out of about six or seven pieces, there were two really good ones and one had better finishing, so that's where my tin voice went. there were four of us and we all had a great evening :)

---be wary of unnecessary x-rays: i'm now even less happy with the trigger-happy dentist who fucked up my mouth, but at least i know better for next time!

the rekindle candle is absolutely brilliant. i want a couple of those.

there's a kickstarter happening for a kill shakespeare boardgame. i didn't know there was a third volume out, so i'm thinking of backing at the $15 level as i'll probably buy it anyway.

occupation

good heavens! i haven't felt this attached to on-screen characters since battelestar galactica: downton abbey just keeps driving at the same pace, the unexpected twists and turns are subtle and in character (except for one tiny thing that's annoying me but which might just be my memory and that i can't be bothered to go back and verify), and emotions fluctuate so rapidly that it's all i can do not to let netflix load the next episode each time!

speaking of memory: i'm a little concerned about mine. on the one hand, i try not to stuff my brain with too much trivia, on the other, there're details that keep getting lost and that frustrates me. for instance, we were watching ufc live last night and renan barao was being introduced immediately after uriah faber when a cute girl behind our table asked me who i was rooting for.
"the other guy," i said stupidly.
"why?" she asked, letting my inability to produce proper nouns slide.
"it's his chin," i responded with a smile, "i have to support the chin."

---friday:

the two missions of the day were locating my lost flash drive and getting to popeye's to use the gift card vfmp got me for my birthday. the first mission was entirely unsuccessful, though i did get free starbucks for my troubles* and ran into kgb for a quick chat.

* i believe the girl felt bad for me for having lost my drive, but she claimed it's because i'm there so often. nice, either way.

on my way to popeye's i stopped at nudo for lunch. i love the way they prepare the noodles in front of you, but i'm left extremely suspicious of their tofu being tofu. it wasn't bad, but the sensation was of boiled chicken or beef and the guy's flippant "of course it's tofu" was not reassuring.

the helpful assistant at popeye's convinced me to try vegessential. now that i've experimented with it, i think that vega one should be renamed "half". the latter has an inconsistently better texture, the former has a better taste. i'll stick with the new shit.

not wanting to be spammed, i declined to provide my email address when registering the gift card. the assistant quipped that it's amusing that we're so easily convinced to give up our home addresses and phone numbers, but not email - i wouldn't provide anything if i felt i had a choice! that brings ungrip to mind.

i read french harry potter all throughout the day, which was a significant factor in my being so extremely tired when i arrived home. i thought i was going to go to the gym and was contemplating how much nap time i could sneak in when i suddenly realized that it was the end of the month and that i'd agreed to attend a community center poetry event organized by newk'd's girlfriend! in addition to my plans to meet with bnw and her husband for drinks, i was totally worn out with planning anxiety by the time i finally got out of the apartment.

the poetry evening was a little awkward at first but overall was a lot of fun! i was surprised and disappointed at how nervous i was reciting... my breath kept catching :(

i hadn't been able to contact bnw as planned and so newk'd, his girlfriend and a cute girl who happened to be leaving the centre when we were decided to grab dinner together. there's a vegetarian-friendly spot called cafe-i-ching right next door so we gave it a try, surprised to find ourselves at a rather nice yet reasonably priced restaurant. dinner was delicious, and in my head became a double date as the girl and i seem to have a surprising amount in common. she took my contact details when we parted and i'm a little bummed that she hasn't gotten in touch...

i headed out to berri uqam a little late, but we all arrived at the same time so it was fine. we went to a really groovy bar with awesome live world music and somewhat odd vegan snacks, drank a lot and talked a *lot*. i was made a little uncomfortable by the gifts i received from their visit to colombia: first, because i didn't get them anything. second, because while the coffee gift is awesome, the beads that i have aren't really my style and i'll feel bad if i don't wear them at least when they're around!

*sigh*

in our at-least-tipsy states and our rush to make the last metros bnw forgot her bag, so we parted ways at the turnstiles and i went home.

...

there's something special about shaving and showering before bed when obviously under the influence.

---yesterday:

it was a slow morning - i've done this weekend properly! - and the colombian coffee over sherlock holmes was a great start to it. i went in to the gym and ran into one of the guys i was told not to spar with because "he hits like a truck"; i've actually learned to put in my mouthguard when working with him in class because his softs are hards. he was complaining about being lazy and we talked a lot about attitude and sparring - he agreed to spar "lightly" with me after my scheduled sparring introduction with another guy i've been doing classes with for a while.

it may have been light, and i'll call it "drilling" instead of sparring even though a lot of it was the former, but i handled more than six rounds and walked out feeling like i'd properly earned my weekend!

horseman and a friend came over shortly after i'd showered and had lunch and we spent a couple of hours playing hardcore tekken; from there horseman joined me downtown for dinner while i waited for vfmp and his boyfriend to join me to watch the ufc fights live. we had some very interesting talks about dreams...

... when vfmp and his boyfriend and i arrived at our destination metro station they decided they needed to go for dinner, and after waiting with them for the bus in the snow for ten minutes i decided that as i'd already eaten i'd go on ahead and they could join me after their meal. this turned out to be much smarter, as i didn't feel like i'd interfered with their "date night" and i didn't miss the best fights of the evening :)

sitting in the warm sports pub nursing a guinness next to a window onto the snowstorm street outside was superb.

varner vs trujillo was an amazing fight to watch and made my bar tab totally worth it!
*SPOILER ALERT*
i'm a big fan of frank mir, and i've decided that i don't ever want to watch him fight again. the past few fights have been incredibly uncomfortable to watch as he's made an unfortunate habit of being beaten up.
*END SPOILER ALERT*

the guys made it for the final fights, which were a little disappointing but we had fun anyway. they'd rented a car for the night and offered me a ride home, the conditions were absolutely terrible and it was pretty scary. well, i guess we all kind of accepted the risk so it wasn't *really* scary, but the possibility of having an accident was very real.

---today:

after a perfect sleep-in, i spent the day relaxing. i failed to get through a french movie horseman brought and i played a lot of tekken instead. i played online. that's a hardcore experience! when it's not frustrating because of lag. it amazes me how many people are playing at any given time. that there're enough that i've never waited more than twenty seconds to start loading a fight. or maybe i'm playing ghosts too? it's all magic.

it was only an hour or two ago that i realized that my phone's been off all day. the girl i'm supposed to go out with hasn't contacted me, i hope that's not the reason...

... now off to godmother's for dinner. and hopefully a date afterwards, but if that doesn't happen i'll find ways to occupy myself :)

applying myself

every time i hear andy ling - fixation now i'm taken back to the ledhedz bus / afrikaburn fundraising party. and to tens if not hundreds of amazing house parties around the millennium.

*sigh*

---yesterday:

yesterday was a better perspective day! though i'm not sure if my mom saying "great!" when i told her i was hit in the face repeatedly for half an hour in order to practice not closing my eyes counts as a part of that perspective. my forehead's a bit tender now :P (though my brain's definitely fine)

i left too early for the date, and there's not a lot to do in ndg on a cold sunday night. i would have bought a container of oreos at the supermarket had it fit in my pocket - i think i may have raised the security guard's suspicions when checking that.

the date was nice, the girl's not my type but we had a good evening nonetheless. i was amused to discover that she's friends with newk'd - but then, he does get around a bit.

---today:

i woke up early, and was surprised by a visit from the caretaker. who wanted a reference from me, of all people. i didn't really want to write it but if he doesn't get another job i'll get even less preference if he's offended... so i wrote one that manages to be honest yet complementary and now i'm wondering how he expects me to give it to him as i don't have a printer.

while he was here he checked out the toilet which is still giving me grief. gorram presence effect! :@

i spent most of the day applying for jobs. if i apply for a job on linkedin do i need to send in a cover letter or a resume? one can only upload a single file so i went with the resume, but as they've already got access to all my resume's information through the linkedin profile that seems like it might not be the right choice.
why do these things have to be so complicated?! why can't i be hired based on my professional merits rather than my ability to seek work expertly?!

...

of all people to be writing comics, alyssa milano has produced hacktivism. i - am - impressed.

...

i went early to the french conversation meetup to enjoy the vegan pseudo-shepherd's pie at cafe juicy lotus while reading harry potter in french, and was pleased to find myself mostly comfortable talking and listening. confidence: level up!
the cute french volunteer and i were headed in the same direction afterwards and continued the conversation in french until she realized that she'd missed her stop :)

boxing: it was a tough class, and excellent. it was mainly tough because i was working with a guy who knows how to work well and is happy to push me past my limits. i'm fairly certain he's gay, which is why when he was being questioned by one of the girls as to why his gear that usually colour matches didn't i suggested that it worked perfectly because his orange shoes were matched to my training shirt. there was a lengthy and hysterical moment wherein the flabbergasted girl couldn't figure out if i was serious or not :D

army brat was a little more enthusiastic about getting back in the ring to hit me than i find flattering, but it was a good opportunity to discover that yesterday's drills were by far not enough. i did worse than before :(

---one of the fighters was doing weights, he and i have talked a couple of times about psychology because he's studying it. he immediately got where i was going about the nature of reality (i think i've learned to explain it better over the years, perhaps i'll rewrite that post someday) and it inspired a thought: you know that worry that other people know what you're thinking when you think an embarrassing thought? or that concern that people will find out when you do something in private that you feel they'd disapprove of?

well, they do. and they already know, and they most certainly disapprove! because your personal representations of those other people are with you every step of the way! so while the "real" person has no clue what's going on in your head, the "spirits" you carry around with you have an all-access pass. how's that for a weird thought?

---i've hurt my back a little - my back wasn't warm enough when i got into the ring - and i'm praying it'll be fine in time to work with the guy who punched me out on friday because that's happening tomorrow evening. it did make me take a hot bath, though; i'm thirty three years old, and training in tristar has finally brought me to an understanding of why hot baths are great :)

i've watched an episode of downton abbey, some ufc, and now that i've posted this i think i'm ready for a good sleep.

---the american empire is proper-fucked: the anti-science brigade is winning their war of stupid..

intellectual fists

it's not just that it's cold, it's that 10 degrees of the cold are brought by wind. it's not just the temperature that's a problem, it's that you're actively being hit in the face with it.

i'm very glad my mask is so effective. and just as glad that its orange goes beautifully with my neon green hoodie!

---during the past two days, horseman has established a routine of french conversational immersion and personal tutoring followed by tekken. the yells and curses alternate between english and french, it's all rather amusing.

weather-wise, there's something special about it being so cold that if you forget to plug in your headphones and pocket your player before stepping outside the cable freezes too fast to be able to do anything with it.

health-wise, my leg's stiff and sore but has daily improved noticeably. my boxing coach called me out last night in front of the whole gym, telling me i'm an idiot for complaining about my ankle and then going to kickboxing; not only was i being careful and avoiding left kicks, but an orthopedist i consulted years ago told me that it's important to keep things moving while healing. badger agreed, and she's apparently an expert. unfortunately, while my leg, arms and jaw are all feeling much better my lower back's still got two painful, hard protrusions. if it doesn't chill out soon i'm going to have to assume it's serious...

training-wise, things are awesome. after all the boxing coach's abuse since i've been back, i walked into class today and was given a new student to take care of. just like i did on monday after training and on tuesday with vfmp, i instructed her in the basics - the coach was both impressed and grateful, he had nothing but praise for me and i've gone from "that f***ing guy" to "my man" in two days. i wonder if this'll last?

as for my own training, the kickboxing was probably more relaxed than would do me good but the boxing tonight was hardcore: i made up for teaching in lieu of doing drills by multiplying my efforts on the punching bag; considering how tough it was for me to finish the class i'm actually amazed that i'm able to lift my arms to type right now! afterwards i treated myself to my favourite chinese dinner to celebrate :)

speaking of which - my post-training appetite seems normalized. i don't think i should worry about that anymore. i do need to worry more about removing my piercings before class, though, i'm lucky we didn't do impact tonight...

...

i was so incredibly tired last night and this morning, but now it's 3.30am after a long day and i'm doing fine. what?!
granted, i am excited about the nutrition course that began today. after getting through a fair amount of the first week's material i can heartily recommend it.
to EVERYONE!
there are no obligations, you really should register and take a peek before deciding that you're not into it or that you don't have the time.

---odds and ends:

friends (ze germans and study mates) don't force friends to commit crimes under pain of death and then hold them hostage while they throw big parties. that's my conclusion from a dream i woke up from this morning.

i tried to activate my pc plus supermarket card today, and after multiple fails on their website i installed the app. which failed once before i restarted it and finally sorted it out. if you're trying to establish brand loyalty, shouldn't you do some qa testing first? just sayin'.

the laser hair removal consultation: seems legit, but the cheap price turns out to be per session, not all-inclusive :(

newk'd and i met for hot drinks this evening during which we shared some inspirational game ideas. i ordered a soup and the bread had ants, which didn't really bother us so i was actually surprised when they refused to let us pay for anything. oh, and i discovered while there that white tea, for me, is wrong for me for all the reasons it's good for others: no caffeine, reduces blood pressure? no, thanks.

---stephen fry, word hero. gosh, that man is awesome.

the ghost of christmas future

tuesday:

on tuesday night i tried watching hajime no ippo; it's nice that so much anime is available for free, but the quality of the experience is so bad that when i couldn't find the second part of episode one after two minutes i just gave up. besides, my "standing desk" made my legs tired and i was kinda irritated by the slow eating thing. it's still happening, i don't know what the deal is.

---yesterday:

i tried not to let my phone snooze, and instead what i ended up doing was snoozing manually and by longer stretches. i think it might be defeatist. either way, the last half hour of sleep was crucial, and absolutely heavenly!

i met up with vfmp and i spent our striking time coaching him on stance and basic boxing. i enjoy coaching. a lot. and i totally empathize with the frustration of having to unlearn bad habits... for the ground half vfmp taught me escape techniques, which have come in handy a lot sooner than i expected! but there was so much cool stuff he showed me and it's so hard to keep it all together :(

after we were done i punched myself out of breath on the bags, and was so warmed up when i left that i needed neither tuque nor gloves and it was -7 :)

the big realization of the morning: it's the last week until christmas! and i'm not ready to leave yet! i haven't snowboarded enough! i haven't got everything i need!

after i got home my french partner informed me that out of desperation (he's having trouble finding work) he's cancelling our meetings for a while. that's a bummer, i'm going to need another partner... speaking of people bailing on me, i was expecting the cleaning lady all day and she never came. later when i asked she was embarrassed to admit that she'd completely forgotten, so she'll be in after i've left. it does make it more appropriate timing for leaving her a christmas gift, and it means that i'll definitely get home to a clean apartment :)

it was a day of gaming and psy trance. i've begun the original fallout, which happily isn't far behind its sequel :)

i headed to hertz to check out their rental options, and walked from the plamondon station. after walking through such a jewish area, with its yeshiva and schools and lots of hebrew lettering everywhere, i almost bumped into somebody and had to swallow an "excuse me" in hebrew :P

so the man at the rental agency had bad news for me, the company raises its prices for the holidays beginning this weekend. but boy, what an interesting man! he's a muslim indian with the most interestingly healthy views on life, the universe and everything, he's well educated and well-travelled, and has some fascinating stories to tell about the different communities living in montreal. not least of which was hearing his skinny on the jewish communities, and hearing him on the phone asking if his customer wanted to daven first and then come pick up the car amused me no end.

we talked for a long time, getting along like a house on fire and neither of us with anything much better to do. eventually, when i left, he offered to try to help me out if possible. nice!

as i walked into the metro saiko-pod tron came on and put a big smile on my face and a bounce in my step. the mood has remained. i don't want it to go away ^_^

when i got home i used the generic car rental site to reserve a car from alamo, deciding to abuse their no-risk cancellation policy by finding out later whether or not the car has enough space for our snow gear.

i spoke to aota for a bit, and was informed that megaman's last day was nigh. her description of the current state of things makes it sounds like a good time to ask for my job back. it's merely a question of tact...

i headed out to boxing, the short jog in the snow had me out of breath but then i managed my longest set ever with the jump rope! my arms hurt a little but boy, was i feeling good about myself :)
i finally understand shadowboxing, and that i've been doing it wrong all this time. when you begin it's about technique, but once you have that down (more or less) it becomes about visualizing your opponent and their moves. that's tough to learn!
it was a good class and badger and i followed it up with excitingly good drills. aside from cutting my toe on something (a callous, though, so it's tender but it didn't bleed) and a bit of pain in my ankle from checking, my knuckles were hurting on each punch - it seems like i've worn through the padding on my gloves. they're really good gloves, so it's kinda surprising (and very disappointing) that they're wearing out after eight months even if i have been using them every weekday and for all the activities. i'm going have to see if there's some kind of warranty, but i doubt it.

the bruise has finally begun to go down! it's left an interesting outline and a sensitive and almost egg-sized lump has been revealed. hmmm.

i watched the men who stare at goats to re-rate it because i'd missed some of it the first time. i didn't criticize it very well, then - it's a good movie, but it has a definitive slant whereas the book smells of journalistic integrity. they also focus on so little in order to provide narrative that you don't get to see any of the really crazy and incredible stuff!

oh, that reminds me - correction: what we saw on monday night was an advanced screening, not a premiere. did they care if we applauded or not?

---today:

some more manual mega-snoozing.
*sigh*
pg contacted me to remind me that the israeli tax authority is after me - which is completely ridiculous. so i know what i'll be doing at stupid o' clock on sunday morning :(

i picked up my ski jacket and am pleased to report that they did a fantastic job!

my body felt oddly stiff and i walked a lot slower to the metro than i'd have liked. i found alamo without too much trouble and the woman behind the counter was a pleasure to deal with; she tells me that if we can't find a car on saturday that fits our equipment we can cancel with no charge. nice!

i was on my way to eat when i walked past the cinema. and the hobbit was playing. and i thought to myself "why fight the inevitable?"
and i bought a ticket. and had a delicious tofu lunch (i love it when fast food gets tofu right!). and i watched the movie.

*SPOILER ALERT* [highlight the following text to read it]
peter jackson has turned one of everyone's favourite books into a disney ride. it was marvelously entertaining, but beneath it all lay the disquieting sensation of over-commercialization. it's not as bad as the matrix trilogy, of which i couldn't bear to watch the third installment: i'll watch the third the hobbit. but i'm going to re-read the book, too, and i know i'll enjoy the book more.
*SPOILER ALERT*

i wanted to buy a gift card into which i'm going to insert money for the cleaning lady. gift cards are stupidly expensive. like, cost-of-a-meal expensive [fellow south africans: R100]. like, it will constitute a sixth of the total cost of the gift i'm giving. and it's so hard to find an appropriate one! the gift card holders are just tacky.

i got home and spent an hour or so on the phone checking auto-insurance, mobile / internet bills and planning saturday's rental. everything was a breeze!

i spoke to aota, who i'm going to meet tomorrow - she had to fire newk'd today. even though we know it's good for him in the long run, it's not a nice thing for her of all people to have to do.

jiu-jitsu; i didn't totally suck! i joined the beast and a large, powerful spanish guy, and i managed to get most of the steps right ^_^
i didn't do amazingly well with the kickboxing afterwards, but i finished feeling really good: my breathing was *much* better. i hope this is me recovering!

i almost went out for dinner, then remembered that i'd eaten out for lunch and i had perfectly good frozen meals in the freezer. so i did that instead.

online dating:

1) a positive interaction seems to have gone sour after i was asked to elaborate on the current political situation in south africa and i complied. i should save the diatribes for face-to-face encounters, i think.

2) the site is supposed to show me local matches only, not long distance! i'm currently enthusiastically engaging an attractive woman who lives in los angeles. and she's talking about one of us visiting the other after i invited her out without realizing she's far away...

i just thought i'd check it out...

... ftl, or faster than light, is a very clever game. i didn't know it was possible to quit and save, so i just kept playing until i died. unfortunately, i was sitting on the couch with the mouse by my side and now my wrist hurts :(

---i woke up this morning without pressing snooze, i'm not sure it felt better but i guess it was a good thing. i did a ridiculously small amount of work on the comics, performed some housekeeping and eventually headed out into the cold to pick up my ski jacket. i was told that they didn't have the right zip and so it would only be ready on friday - good thing i didn't return yang's! - but then later they called to tell me it was done. i don't get it.

i went to cafe depot for the regular french conversation, and once again they didn't have soya. this time, however, they had no non-dairy alternatives either and the manager informed me that it's a franchise decision. and a giant "up yours" to you too, cafe depot! ignorant bastards, they'll not see another cent from me. come on! i mean, if domino's in israel can get it right, so can anyone.

starbucks, java u and second cup all seem to cope financially with us weirdos who don't want unhealthy shit in our bodies; i went to the java u next door and got what i wanted. unfortunately, their shop isn't heated which is bizarre; my partner arrived and we sat chatting in our winter coats.

pet peeves:

1. icarus called me twice when trying to call me back. if i don't answer the first time, it's reasonable to assume that i have caller id and that i'll get back to you. unless whatever it is is super urgent.

2. newk'd and i agreed to meet at cafe juicy lotus at 4.30pm. i was on my way, underground with no reception, when he sent an sms to confirm. so i only saw it when i arrived and he and his girlfriend hadn't left their apartment yet. wtf? if you have an arrangement, you make it unless informed otherwise. am i off on this one?

cafe juicy lotus is really nice, and it seems that everything they make is delicious. the cooking classes are a bit expensive, though, and while their cookbook is cheaper i'm not sure i'll really go for it. i scanned the lists of ingredients and didn't recognize many of them...

---on a completely different note, rumour has it that tomorrow will be megaman's last with the company. hah! they finally figured things out.

i hope they manage to recover from the damage he's done.

---when we left it was snowing again and very cold. halfway to the metro i realized that both my laces were untied and they'd have to wait until i got inside. i love my boots, but this is one issue that keeps recurring that's annoying the crap out of me!

the entrance to the villa-maria station was an overload of humanity; kinda like from 1:10 onwards.

...

right. stuff.

---there's a girl i know in israel who needs serious help with her medical bills so that she can enjoy some quality of life. in the hope that some of you will find it in your hearts to assist, you can do so here, and also here if you prefer paypal.

fighting, the cold and christmas spirit

i'm absolutely broken! i definitely need a day (or two) off training. i was feeling a bit weak on the weekend, but even if i hadn't been yesterday's experience would've taken it out of me. so utterly worth it though ^_^

---leftovers from thursday:

hah! my last post forgot lesson 5: the jiu-jitsu advantage goes to the man who farts when he's nervous. it's hard enough breathing when you're grappling and pummeling and being choked, to do all of that while actively trying not to because your opponent just let one rip before catching you between his legs? "sorry" just doesn't cut it, bro.

---friday:

on my way to meet wire i went to draw cash, and lurking in front of the atm was loud group of gangsta-wannabes. in front of them was a slow old woman taking forever. one of the guys stepped up when she eventually finished, and then suddenly there was nobody in front of the machine and the guy behind me told me it was my turn. i stepped up and was puzzled because it looked like whoever was using it had abandoned it without taking their card... i asked around, and it turned out that the idiot has simply turned around and rejoined his buddies before finishing what he was doing.

nice.

anyway, i headed down to de l'eglise. what a nice area! apparently pretty cheap, too. i met up with wire who took me to a sweet little coffee shop, we talked for a while and he explained the details of his situation - i don't envy construction workers in this town. when we separated i felt pretty good; my christmas gift was to (metaphorically) teach him to fish, not feed him. hopefully he'll be back on his feet soon.

it was -12 degrees and pleasant to walk in the sun. the metro wasn't too warm, either! i rested up with a little french practice and then went to the gym for sparring. i only had one opportunity to spar, and it went alright; the rest of the sparring was verbal, and i was sorely on the losing end. our boxing instructor's chirps were so good that at one point one of the girls literally did a spit-take while she was drinking water, and i had absolutely nothing to respond with :(

after class i taught two of the girls how to do a muay thai roundhouse. they're both very sweet - it's the girl who "stalked" me once upon a time and the iron-haired woman - and i find it interesting that they were only too happy to stay late on a friday night to work with me, but once they'd basically gotten it i headed off for gaming night. they're just not my type :P

the storm in israel was raging, as were israelis unhappy about their infrastructure and services, and i was amused because while there it was four degrees celsius, here it was the same in fahrenheit. it's funny, but every year i've been there i've complained about the lack of winter infrastructure and this is the first year that my voice isn't there and everyone's angry.

i read my new poem to vfmp and his boyfriend, it got constructive criticism from vfmp and his boyfriend praised it even before realizing it was mine :D

vfmp's experimental vegan spanakopita was excellent, and our game of thunderstone was going well but we began it too late and so i had to drop my hand in order to catch the bus :(
at least my timing for public transport was great. the depths of winter have come early!

---saturday:

waking up to a dream of being in the air force and needing to pee but the unisex latrines were rows of undivided long-drops were all in various states of "ewww" and there was nowhere to stand. the captain in charge of them refused to do anything about it and in real life i'm grateful for it :P
the weirdest bit about the latrines was the sense of deja-vu, i'm sure i've dreamed about them before.

i slept really late, at some point getting up to close the outer window which i hadn't realized was still open. that was a complicated procedure and ended with me shouting a triumphant "fuck YOU!" at it when i finally slammed it down.

yang has this annoying habit of using facebook messaging for messages that a reasonable person would send by sms. so i assumed he'd installed the facebook messenger app as his primary means of communication, which a) inspired me to install it myself and b) led me to use it to ask him if he had a spare ski jacket for me. he responded in the affirmative, with a warning that i should've used sms for something so serious.

huh.

it was a slow day, and really began when i tried out my post-root canal mouth on a salad. the tooth in question finally seems okay, but the tooth above it seems to have a bad filling... sod it. i'll just keep eating on the right side until i can find a good dentist. instead of all the crazy games i have installed, i burned some time playing the fourth installment of on the rain-slick precipice of darkness, then dragged myself to the french meetup.

it was still a little awkward and uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as the first time! one woman spoke like she was in a speed competition, and by the end i could understand bits of what she was saying! to make things complicated there were two asians who spoke to me with accents so tough that it took at least three tries each sentence...

from there i went to godmother's to pick up yang's unused ski jacket. awesome ski jacket! i stayed for tea and her incredible pea soup, then went to newk'd's birthday party. picking up beers and coke at the dep was complicated, carrying them along with the jacket and my rather thick volume of bone comics was not only heavy and awkward enough to hurt my arms but after the short bus ride i had a lot of walking to do along desolate roads and that was kinda demoralizing. getting there successfully and without frostbite and cracking open the beers was such a relief!

it's pretty rare that disparate groups of friends get along very well, but the apartment was crowded with people who were all interesting and fun. it would have been a great party even if nobody had pulled out cards against humanity; between the cards and the beers i kept getting the giggles, and at one point it was so bad that i couldn't even read out loud :)

newk'd offered me a blue candy pacifier; apparently there were only five and it was only later that i'd understand how "special" the offer was...

---sunday:

i walked to the metro with a loud (possibly drunk / high) girl from b.c. who was enjoying the blizzard as much as i was - what fun! unfortunately for her, her last metro had just passed when we arrived and so she went to find a bus while i took my last one home. i had to be up early to go snowboarding...

... i got home, ate a little, and after that and a couple of hours and brushing my teeth twice my mouth was *still* blue all over. aaahhhhhhh... i see what he did there :P

...

the sleep i enjoyed can only be described as "lovely". i got up at 7.30 to start getting ready but icarus sent me a message to say he was unable to free his car from the snow. when i woke up again later it was still snowing like crazy! i decided that mother nature has brought the deep winter forward just for me so that i can make up for three weeks at the beach :)
so i hurriedly packed (this time without blowing a fuse), which involved cleaning out the thermos i'd brilliantly left in my bag the weekend before (ugh!) and figuring out how to adjust for the difference in the borrowed ski jacket's pocket configuration.

i was out the door before realizing that i'd left my ski mask behind - *that* would have been a disaster!

over two hours on the bus, most of which were spent listening to the girl in front of me's conversation*, staring out the window**, sleeping, continuing with paul park - celestis, and playing with online dating and facebook. those last two taught me a couple of things:

1) this amazing video about a homeless dog being rescued makes me very happy indeed with the donation that supertongue asks everyone to make on her behalf for christmas. now that i've given and seen what it's about, i'm urging you to do the same! you can do that here. or, you know, donate to the red cross or whatever. it's all good :)

2) i can handle dating a girl with a missing eye (that's piratey!), but a girl with a prominent mole? heck, no. i've never understood how, in this day and age, people don't just get those damned things cut out.

* alright, so maybe it's impolite to listen to others' conversations but she was talking loudly and it was only after a while that i could be sure that she was using a hands-free and not invisible bluetooth. i was trying to get a handle on her french, she had a throaty voice and a heavy quebecois accent and after a while i decided that i find the combination very sexy indeed.

** i was staring out the window at all the mostly buried cars (whose owners care enough to put up a fight) and the mounds of snow where i was certain others were properly buried... and suddenly i registered that there were groups (plural!) of cross-country skiers treating the roads and pavements like rollerbladers in summer! wire tells me he saw a few in his area too. montreal, i love you ^_^

last night was all about the moguls - the runs were insane! totally electrifying, but fracking EXHAUSTING. everyone i spoke to agreed with me, and there were plenty of non-verbal agreements too. the funniest expression of that was my final descent; just before the last steep, mogul-covered hill we all sat in a long line, just catching our breaths and stretching for the tough seconds to come :)

i was very, very glad that my assessment of last week's rum / coffee / cacao mix was right, once i added actual sugar it was amazing :)

i couldn't get the following out of my head all evening: "riddle: what's sexier than a woman on a snowboard?"
i got chatting to some guy on the lift, and i asked him just before we got off. he didn't even hesitate, and we parted ways with nods and raised fists. the next time i got on the lift i was alone with a ridiculously cute girl on a snowboard, and started chatting with her. turns out she's from montreal and was going to take a taxi back to saint jerome and then a bus, which is a bit crazy, so i told her about my initiative and explained to her how to find the meetup group. an hour later as i sat in the locker room getting ready to leave, she walked in with some guy and i signed to her.

she looked at me funny, and i too-slowly realized that she couldn't recognize me without my ski mask so i was just being super weird. i clarified by asking her if she didn't want to write down the details, and she came over and took one of my cards.
"that's beautiful!"
"thanks! it's one of my own."
"are you a photographer?"
"nope."
i asked if she and the guy she'd walked in with were together, to which she answered in the affirmative. disappointed, i gave two thumbs up and invited them both to join me next time.

i felt like i walked back to the village in slow motion, though i had time for fries and to figure out how to pour water from the iced tea tap at mcdonald's. i left with a minute to spare and fast-waddled / jogged with my board on my back and ice beneath my feet, only the bus was about twenty minutes late so that was entirely unnecessary. it was a long, cold twenty minutes followed by a long, sleepy bus ride.

regardless, i was very sore and tired and very happy.

i had to finish the giant bag of sour skittles because the bag broke and i couldn't put them back in my pocket. first world problems.

i got home, overcompensated for dehydration, slowly got ready for bed and then treated myself to tiger balm; the base of my spine, my upper back, my elbow and my knee were all on fire as i finally put myself to bed.

---monday:

i woke up battling the infinite snooze, each time to a different dream. my apartment looks like a bomb hit it, i should probably see to that. i went out to drink coffee, work on my comics and shop, on the way passing a classic, almost life-sized snowman that looked like it was plucked out of calvin and hobbes or something. it was so cold and there was so much glare that i couldn't get a decent photo :(

wind chill made today -29 degrees. all i know is that without my ski mask my face kept freezing. the funny looks were just a bonus :P

i made good progress on the comics (character r&d) and carrying the shopping home showed me that i need some rest before returning to the gym. the cashier at the supermarket was awful: she went on this rant about how so many people, co-workers and customers, are mean to her and she just has to smile and take it. i was really uncomfortable for its entirety and i wasn't given much opportunity to extract myself :(

...

in canada, you hurry home so that the groceries don't all freeze on the way.

...

there's nothing like stepping inside with groceries that need to be refrigerated to find that you really need to pee and your bootlaces are knotted.

...

i went to the eye institute for my final checkup and they tell me that my eyes are good, if a little dry. they were as surprised as i was to see that my right eye's doing well; i'm now 100% convinced that doing only the left eye was the right choice.

i found myself desperately hungry after the tests, so desperate in fact that thai express became an option. i was disappointed that the food was exactly as expected. i came home to rest, started posting this and then rushed downtown to join wire and a couple of others from the gym as we'd been invited to the montreal premiere an advanced screening of grudge match.
bottom line: it's SUPER meta, it's a fun film that does an excellent job of picking rocky and raging bull apart and stitching them together with humour ranging from slapstick to highbrow. i totally approve this message :)

[an argument over the phone that i can't actually talk about here. not right now, at least.]

wire sat with me as i made a harvey's veggie burger disappear, and then joined me for a beer while we talked about sports, politics and religion (including the history of al-aqsa, so i was surprised to read this when i got home). he suggested that my lack of appetite after training might be caused by eating badly-timed protein bars, so i'm going to skip those for a few days and see if that makes a difference.

---linkage!

opposing the american studies association's boycott

oklahoma opens the door to the satanists: the lawmakers sidelined the first amendment, and this is what they're going to get for their trouble. this or a hanuman temple. i'm backing the satanists 'cause i think it's more appropriate, and i ask you to back them too!

and speaking of crowd-funding, mars one is looking to fund their research on indiegogo. check it out here!

airport security: now that we know just how much of a waste of time it is, can't we just drop the charades already and go back to playing "spot the dodgy fucker" instead? it's less invasive and more honest.

superhero cartoon execs worry me. but: screw the networks. indie, indie, indie. producers need to get out of industrialized televised entertainment, 'cause slowly but surely we all are.