shiny, shaky

have i linked through to the original translations of the grimm brothers fairytales yet? they're great!

i printed out the ~40 pages of what every computer scientist should know about floating-point arithmetic that i found online, it's fascinating reading. it's something most programmers wonder about at some point, and then realize that they don't care. i *have* to care, now... so i have a project for the next couple of weeks, to keep me occupied in place of "IDF spirit" :P

i bussed home, dropped off the gear, and met up with the kid and his date. then i moved on to the balcony, where i met up with wr and had a fun hour of chatting with him and the cute bartender (who actually had time to talk, for once), before heading home and passing out - i was reminded that a part of the reason i was so screwed up this week was because it's more-or-less been one long day since i got wasted on saturday night... fair's fair, people. i'm only hyoo-man.

i woke up way later than i'd hoped to, having successfully ignored my alarm clock for over two hours. i immediately made my way to prasport to pick up my order: the stuff came out *beautifully*. really professional work... but i was terrified on the bus back, because our friend klapfoot drove like we were in a tricky portion of an off-road racetrack :S

the kid and i checked everything when i got home, and it's all gravy >D

spot and i rushed off (in slo-mo) to meet with nystire and his fiancée - as i told her, that's officially the end of all the jokes about his imaginary girlfriend :P

we couldn't find a kosher coffee shop - it's tel aviv, after all [i had that long argument about it not being sodom and gemorrah; i stand by my original statement], so we sat on a bench for a bit. spot and i did a quick search for a gift for my sister, and then walked back to the supermarket to do some shopping.

on the way, there were some students of the arts dressed up / made up and standing on the sidewalk doing amusing and interesting things. i was entertained, and then worried slightly when some weirdo walked up to one of the girls and started making out with her. that's just creepy.

i made myself muesli-yoghurt for breakfast when we got home: it's the first time i've eaten it in a bowl - much easier :)

i'm going to spend my day chilling and learning. more chilling, i guess - i'm still slow and awkward from the last week.

lounging the weekend away

spot and i walked to agadir, and i had an extremely decent burger. over a long argument about responsibility, curiosity and concentration.

spot's too curious for his own good, and i'm unavailable when i'm focused on something.

we decided that we were going to walk into the balcony, say hi, and leave - but wr and a few friends were there, and there was no chance of escaping that easily. spot and i were treated to honey jäägermeister... the guys thought our reactions were to the strength of the shot. my strangled groans were caused by drinking what is essentially honey, i didn't feel any alcohol at all. GROSS.

tired + alcohol = wasted as usual. around 2.30 i decided it was time to jump ship, and spot joined me for the long walk home. okay, fine, not so long. but i was completely out of it, sue me.

i woke up around noon, and the kid and i went missioning for medals. in both areas we checked out, the shops turned out to be on the opposite side from where we'd expected, and we were too late for all of them. the kid was pressured for time, and we actually jogged about ten minutes to find the last one. at least we know where they are for next week, and we're planning on waking up early next time.

on my way back, i stopped in to say hi to the taekwondo group, and our instructor threw me a pair of pants and inducted me for half the session. i had a good stretch, and was put in charge of a couple of new kids... *evil grin*

i thought i'd left just in time to go shopping, but when i got to our area the supermarket was closed, so i went shopping at the am:pm (most definitely a second / third choice) and came home to shower and chill in front of the telly.

iron maiden kixx0rs ass :P - it's all so 80's!

the kid and i went to get water, and on the way we rented 16 blocks. the machine is awesome - proper use of a touchscreen! it's great to use something with an intelligent interface.

the kid's brother rocked up, we made sandwiches and watched a couple of episodes of prison break... okay, i've missed a lot in the second season, but it wasn't too complicated to pick up on what was happening and it was great fun as usual.

after he left, we tried to watch the video we rented. my dvd player makes a whirring sound on some discs, and it gets a tad annoying. so we hooked up the kid's, and that started off fine... except for slight static in the background. the static got progressively louder through the movie, until it was so bad that i pressed mute and began reading the hebrew subtitles. i was more or less okay, every now and again pausing when they flashed a long sentence for two seconds (i hate it when they do that in english, too), but then something happened and i registered that things were not as they should be.

i rewound, and there was approximately half an action-packed hour that the player just skipped. all by itself. that was aggravating. so i got to the end of the film, and it was a pretty good one, disappointed with the overall viewing experience.

i slept soundly, and woke up to find the kid watching invader zim. after a couple of episodes spot and i made coffee (i friggin' HATE boiling milk. i just can't get it right), walked to return the dvd, and the three of us have spent the last couple of hours in gaming mode ^_^

recovered post from monday!

i'm smashed, hammered, drunk, and i have to go to bed RIGHT now because we have a meeting at 8.30am.

i bussed to bank, banking was most pleasant (i.e. sorted everything out without too much kicking and screaming, and only a little bit of confusion), arrived in time for lunch, piles is amazingly horrible - bloody rude and irritating as hell, but the afternoon was otherwise quite boring.

the kicker came at 16.30 - the kid and i sat in on an hour-long meeting in which we were informed that the next three or four weeks will be spent in a world of pain. if the kind of work that's expected of us was proposed in a civilian environment, a feasibility study would be done, the managers laughed at and the workers would quit.

-- academic signing request of infinite stupidity --

alien history over supper: i'm annoyed that spot watched the bonus disc for alien without me. MORE shocked at the kind of things that were included. the history of that movie is more than just remarkable, it's downright insane.

ha - oracle amusement. that never happens. we just discovered that our provider may have left us a back-door to their database, the only problem is connecting directly to it when we're not certain of their logging system and if we'll get caught bypassing by their crappy api's; it'll be hugely embarrassing for us as a legitimate establishment. but we know how to do it, even if it's not a good idea, and the thought has interesting possibilities.

"it's in development"
"when was the last time a version was released?"

i phoned up our provider to harass them over another issue, and when he gave me the development line i turned into the world's biggest bastard. i had him seriously uncomfortable, and he's now given me enough info to give the bull the upper hand. yeah :)

note to self: do not admit to not including a 6-month-old request in a minor release. it doesn't look good to your clients.

deftones - no ordinary love is awesome. had to mention that. it took me forever to hear the whole song because spot kept interrupting it with interesting bits of information.

thank you nystire:
familiar trouble in the form of a bad atoi implementation
a really bad kind of lie-to-children

we walked to the balcony, i got drunk and had a good time, and then walked the entire way home because i got the minibus taxi route confused. that's the most mental masturbation i think i've ever suffered (although i'm not sober, i could be wrong), and i can't say that it wasn't entertaining.

*dies*

friday on base

i walked to the balcony, met up with the mongoose and his girlfriend, and we had a fun evening. aside from discovering that *both* the bartenders have boyfriends, and being seriously undecided about the appearance of a girl who appeared to be making eyes at me (it was dark. i'm not taking any chances). they gave me a ride back to ramat gan, the most irrelevant place in the country, around 3am, and i went straight to sleep.

i woke up in time to go have lunch on base. that's kinda sad. songbird's guarding, so i spent lots of the day keeping her company. erm - abusing her company, i really need help with the book i'm reading :$
oh, and playing some gta2.

i did laundry, and then put the laundry in the tumbledryer. lordy lord, i feels RICH o_O

i had dinner on base as well, and around midnight took a taxi most of the way to the zamir. i only discovered this morning that the israeli equivalent of minibus taxis operate around the clock on the weekend... bummer. but whatever, i arrived on time for a friggin' AWESOME, AWESOME party.

i was completely broken by 5am, having had too much to drink and having jumped up and down the entire night... i think the bartender likes me. i asked him for a coke, and i got a complementary shooter :B (i can't control the urge to double-tongue!)

wr and i joined ta2 and one of the door managers went for breakfast. when i got my coffee, and then wr got his chocachino with cream - the waitress took note of my expression (didn't say a word! or, at least not to her...), and came back a minute later with a bowl of cream for me.

1...

2...

3...

aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

i've mentioned ta2 driving around with cat food. we're getting in the car, when he spots a stray cat. out comes the cat food, five little piles, and then suddenly 6 cats appear out from a hole in the wall. extremely cute :)

wr and i got dropped off at azrieli, then walked a bit before taking the minibus taxi. i got home around 8am, had a shower, and slept until 7pm. i woke up to 3 / 4 episodes of friends, and am shocked at how long it's been since i vegged in front of the telly. and how quickly i found my groove ;)

my host made some meaty / noodly goodness, which made a good breakfast, and now that i've done the dishes - until i couldn't take the kitty litter smell anymore, at least - i'm off to the lizard.

grimy and sleazy

the way it should be ;)

last night, i left work and walked to the balcony. i talked to the two cute bartenders (although the new one, sadly, has an SO), and i cannot express in words just how happy i was. am. this week was just absolutely fantastic!! the whole idea of the air force transfer taking place, my replacement finally arriving...

it's like after all the time i've been sucking from the rotten teat of a dead nurse, somebody's showing mercy and is inviting me into the kitchen for a glass of warm, frothy hot chocolate and cookies.

spot joined me after a while, and then left for the airport. with instructions to organize me an ipod from the duty free. more on that later :/

wr arrived soon afterwards, and i then had that "one too many". or was it two? it took a couple of hours of monty python quotes and general silliness for me to be able to focus again. by that stage, the party had shut down, so the two of us went with ta2. to be fair, i was under the impression that we were simply getting a ride home...

but no. not even a little. we went downtown, and entered a club that was extracted from the mind's eye of a goth/cyberpunk junkie. crazy music, sharp metal teeth, and all the huge, bearded, long-haired biker-types moshing and headbanging and playing their air-guitars, (some good looking) wimmen dressed both formal and extremely not-formal (unless standing on a street corner in the year 2020 is formal by that time) doing their spindly thing, grime and sleaze in every corner and being radiated by the walls themselves.

we went upstairs, where the music was higher-energy but not as deep, and sat there chatting with some strange strangers. well, not any more, i guess :P

anyway, it's a place that really is exactly as it should be. i don't know if i'm more impressed that it exists (and isn't too far from my place), or if i'm more disappointed (six years i've been here. six years. never heard of the place).

a short while after we got there, the music pulverizing my ears and my neck begin to loosen up from all the vibration, spot called to squick me over which ipod to organize. the options weren't great, so i picked the 60GB... i don't even know for how much. whatever.

just before leaving, i discovered that spot, in his infinite wisdom, had sent me an sms (when he *knew* where i was, we'd talked) giving me an even better option, and had left by the time i'd received it. schmuck. the only issue i have is that i'm looking at the prices online, and it looks like duty-free is more expensive... that's not good :S

when i got home i was wasted after a totally full day. i almost went straight to bed, but i managed to force myself to have a shower, and floss, because hey, that one day can make a difference. and making your bed smell of smoke, sweat and sleaze doesn't help anyone.

i woke up about six hours later, and took a cab to azrieli. i finally bought a perfect circle - thirteenth step, got me all excited. while standing in the line to pay, cbg walked in. pretty easily recognizable, but not my type as far as looks go. other than that, really cool chick. i had a good breakfast, good coffee, and then we said goodbye and i made my way to work.

i spent my afternoon doing some serious browsing. well, at least that's what i did after finally sorting out my new album. all i wanted to do was listen to a perfect circle - pet, but i inserted the disc and windows asked me if i wanted to install some software.

fuck no.

without installing the software, i can't listen to the disc... that's just screwed up. i just paid for the damned thing. not cool. i do a basic search, but i only came up with a method of copying it: i don't have a burner, i don't wanna, and i'm certainly not interested in installing more software on my workstation (which is what started this whole thing in the first place).

i began whining to nystire, hoping to find him familiar with the problem. after much debate over what exactly i wanted to do - no nystire, i don't want to rip to ogg vorbis :P - he provided me with a forum link. what was that about ockham's razor? i scanned the posts, and found a frighteningly simple solution: hold down the shift key while inserting the cd. i kept it down for a short while, then used media player to rip to wma, and now i can listen on my player.

and fuck them. bastards.

there are so many links that i wanted to post from the crypto-gram newsletter (and the articles are good, too), that sod it: go through them yourself.

as one commentator put it: "imagine a cop pulls you over for speeding. as he approaches, you realize you left your wallet at home. without your driver's license, you could be in a lot of trouble. when he approaches, you roll down your window and shout. "hello officer! i don't have insurance on this vehicle! this car is stolen! i have weed in my glovebox! i don't have my driver's license! i just hit an old lady minutes ago! i've been running stop lights all morning! i have a dead body in my trunk! this car doesn't pass the emissions tests! i'm not allowed to drive because i am under house arrest! my gas tank runs on the blood of children!" you stop to catch a breath, confident you have supplied so much information to the cop that you can't possibly be caught for not having your license now." [from one of the articles]

the two exceptions follow because i laughed so hard that i cried:
the turnpike prank (4 pages)
the all-natural test (also 4, i think)

serbians witchdoctors have weird cures
conventional greeting
i agree with scott mccloud completely
reasons not to donate blood.

shine on you

i left work last night at the usual time, and bussed through to my old work. it was really nice seeing everyone again, quite a trip to go back to where i spent many long hours answering phones politely. being reintroduced to this girl i met in eilat, in an environment that we're both comfortable in, was rather a good idea.

i left around 1.30am, and took a taxi to the balcony. on the way in i ran into a couple of people i know from my base, so i stopped for a really short chat, then walked into what spot had promised me was a rocking party with fantastic music.

the first 5 songs played when i got in were good, but it was israeli rock and i was looking for hard rock / metal / alternative. after the first five, however, i was no longer disappointed. after a while my TL walked in to say hi - i'd missed him outside. i called over the cute bartender and introduced them, which had some entertaining results :)

we hung there until closing, when ta2 gave me and wr a ride home. well, mostly, he dropped me off at the lincoln, and i finally managed to catch the stunning waitress ^_^

i got about half an hour to warm up - after a full day's work, half a litre of guinness equivalent (murphy's), and a sambuca, i really needed it. we closed the table to get her 50% staff discount, and we played 10 games... ending in a tie, but the truth of the matter is that she's definitely better than me, and i could identify the mercy shots.

she made my weekend. our general chirping was thoroughly enjoyable, and with her hair down and her eyes focused, her body curved just right for each shot, i felt like i was flipping through a fashion magazine. surreal how beautiful she is when she isn't working, i felt like i was playing an angel.

hito me bore*, it may have been once - but now i'm totally lovestruck. and no, i didn't get her number. i'm sure everyone can understand that there are times when flirting just isn't appropriate. everything just was as it was, and it was great while it lasted.

* love at first sight. [i haven't a clue why i chose to reference japanese]

i took a taxi home, showered, and passed out. around 12.30, nystire woke me up, and i went out to meet him at our little strip mall. we bussed through to tel aviv, met up with two of his siblings and a friend of theirs, and went to agadir for a seriously good breakfast. i'm back at work after a slow walk, and now i'm seriously contemplating doing some actual work before going home for a nap.

...

640K will be more than enough

DOS has escaped! FreeDOS seems to be getting somewhere.

rape the spammer: anti-spamming conviction upheld.

transient documents by xerox, recyclable printouts

TLBSRI (Too Long, But Still - Read It): digital petitioning going very, very wrong

what's her name?

the only problem with the work completed last night: forgetting to change to target of the alert sms's from myself to yogi. two of our servers went down today, and were sorted out, and each state change i had to forward the sms's to yogi manually. there's something eerily primitive about sending them without using my apps :P

our local smelly hobo terrorized the bus this morning. he's seriously offensive, i don't care what his derangement is. he can transform a practically empty bus into "standing room only" in under three minutes.

---i achieved legendary status today, when i produced (as usual, now) my "spirit of the IDF" poster during inspection. the big-boss discipline officer (not the cute girl) walked through, and stopped to check me out.

"what's this?" (part of his job description is controlling his smile, but there's definitely a slight upturning)
"it's my 'spirit of the IDF'."
"don't you have the little one we provide?"
"yes, but you know i have problems reading hebrew." (at this point he's actually smiling. i'm at breaking point, and people around are giggling hysterically)
"so what? this version is in english?" (it's obviously not in english, big smile now, i'm starting to smile. and shake a little, if i don't play this right, i get court-martialled)
"no, it's just that the bigger letters make it easier for me to identify the words."

at that point, somebody on the other side of the court shouted "he has strong belief in the spirit of the IDF!". everyone burst out laughing, and he just made some strangled noises and moved on to the next person.

instant hero ^_^
the only problem is now i have to carry the damn poster around all the time, 'cause he's going to try to catch me out. totally worth it.

---morning coffee - a girl i'm friendly with took a cigarette from me, lit up, and said: "your name's <totalwaste>, right? you don't know what mine is, do you?"
i was stumped. i guessed something kinda close, but that didn't cut it :S

when i got back into my office, i received an IM from our branch secretary.
"hi, i'm the new secretary. do you remember my name?"
DAMMIT! not - even - a clue! and she's super cute, and i've been flirting with her for weeks now!

the kid and i took a walk to sort stuff out, then returned to break our heads over the ass-backwards snapshots that our predecessors defined. it was all very confusing.
after having a huge fight with the mongoose over the phone, over something INCREDIBLY moronic, our team went out for lunch... i had excellent spaghetti and meatballs (it's been years), and a good chat with the kid afterwards.

i passed out in the car on the way back to base, and it took a while to get my head together once we got there. when we walked into our office, our resident DBA just *happened* to be sitting there <evil grin>, so we pulled her into the fray. at least we weren't alone in scratching our heads, but she eventually managed to figure it all out, and presented us with possible solutions.

i paid for her time with marshmallow hot chocolate. hell, i made for the entire team while i was at it, and we still have marshmallows left >D

during this time, i got a call from an apparently very cute camps-bay girl staying in israel for a year. it's a bit odd to meet a person over the phone for the first time, but i impressed myself by lasting almost 10 minutes - and i ain't no talker. sounds like a cool bird ;)

between the kid and myself, we managed to get the issues all sorted out, we did it the way it was meant to be done (ie. understandable. efficient.), and what was left of the afternoon was fairly quiet.

a few of us went off to "supper" early, and had a really cute and playful fight with some pretty course girls pushing to get ahead of the queue. the food was alright, the view was pleasant, and the sense of "thursday afternoon!" was strong :)

almost at work, when nystire hopped on the bus in his spanky new uniform. hah! they stripped him of his rank! [nystire: i know. nevermind.]

we spent about half an hour talking (missing spot on the elevators was unexpected, but murphy's always at it), organizing and drinking coffee.
i forgot the name of the really cute girl that works at the coffee shop. after she screwed up all our coffee last night (too much cream, not enough coffee), i gave her extremely specific instructions on how to prepare the four different cups. when she asked if i wanted it strong, i replied that i want my brain to explode from the overdose.

she made that coffee *just* right ^_^

---my charge's mom (haven't heard from them in a while) is going crazy: this kid's just been offered a really decent job in the army, and he wants to turn it down because he doesn't want any part in killing anybody.

so i've agreed to have a nice, long chat with him over the weekend. aside from the IDF's overzealousness in "purity of arms" (funnily enough, the first major section in "the spirit of the IDF" that i can understand), the whole point of serving in the army is to protect life, not destroy it. and this is one kid who could definitely use army-style guidance.
i suppose this can be seen as me doing some community service... no?

aside from remembering to change the sms targets, and a couple of calls to the states - my contact's leaving the provider, so i'm dealing with a fresh 'un, my evening's been pretty quiet. another 45 minutes, and then i'm off to chill at the balcony, and probably call it a week :P

a lightening-fast week that followed a blazingly fast one? crazy. what's going on? is the world spinning faster?

spot and i had a rather amusing conversation on his way out. if you're in an elevator and the cable snaps, sending it plummeting: assuming that you're not screaming like a little girl, if you jump up - can you lie plastered to the ceiling?
got me thinking of being pushed out of a plane at 10,000ft in a box with the bottom weighted... you could charge big money for the ride ;)

nutter.
throw away the spoon
israeli crap proves useful
soothing the serial killer
earworms