hero to zero

i woke up this morning with an overwhelming sense of well-being... i've been like this for a couple of days now, does it mean that i'm somewhat healthy?

thought for the morning: the only problem with cake and wine in the first class is that the next part of the day seems a bit rubbish by comparison :)

i wasn't too long in the office, and for what feels like the first time in ages, something that i'd developed and tested actually ran properly when put into production. scr would have to install my newly created distributed service on multiple machines without me... i wondered how that would go.

i hit early rush hour on my way to campus, and that kinda sucked because i really wanted to read more wired. now that i'm finally back into it. what i couldn't stop staring at instead were the signs on the backs of the seats: "stressed at work? try our tranquilizers!"

because if your work is stressful, the problem is OBVIOUSLY you!

anime afternoon: too much shouting, a weird moment of "hey! he's sleeping!" when i nodded off during appleseed (which is brilliant, btw), bad cookies, racism (the culprit did promise to stop, after realizing that i really was offended by his use of the word "nigger"), and a harsh reminder that the middle east is possessed of a culture of clapping (in delight, along to music, whatever). i've said it before, and i'll say it again, clapping is *only* acceptable when applauding a live performance of some sort.

the anime itself made up for all that, and the breathtaking sunset that i witnessed on my way out felt like a pat on the head from the universe for having gotten through such a long week.

that sensation might have been contributed to by scr calling me up to tell me that something was wrong with an installation: "wtf? oh - everything's working fine. cheers."

i ran into eidetic and the chemist waiting for the bus, and we met up with botchman for dinner: it was fun, but i had plans afterwards that needed cancelling because i suddenly realized that the marathon's tomorrow and i was super-tired.

before catching some z's, i learned that my shakespeare paper has been returned to the secretariat already. dum - dum - DUMMM...

i passed out, disturbed briefly by a call from pg to say goodnight and remind me to rotate my wheels (damn - i'll do that now), and an hour later i got up and prayed that in a reasonable amount of time we'd find the weird bug the boss had described earlier.

thanks to all powers that be, i did find the bugs. and *knocks wood* (i do that a lot lately) everything appears to be functional.

in addition to having to wake up at 5.30 tomorrow morning, israeli clocks move forward an hour tonight so effectively i have to be up in 4.5 hours. good grief.

netless - part ii

[... continued]

dinner and musings with scrapper, botchman and eidetic at maker's. good sandwich. good evening.

---sunday:

i went to bed early but still had a hard time getting up. no class as such, just a screening of william carlos williams - interesting, but no howl.

pg and i had lunch together, discussing ways to celebrate wr's birthday this year :)

---my health insurance company. as mentioned before, the first communication i received from them was a threat of legal action. after a week of trying to get hold of someone who would actually talk to me, i gave the salesman a call.

he was annoyed that i didn't come to him first - his was not the number on the document i received. when he heard what i had to say, he seemed almost genuinely angry himself, and agreed with everything i'd said.

1. if you call from a blocked number and don't leave a message, it's as if you didn't call. you do NOT cross off "inform the client that he owes money" from your checklist.

2. if the bank doesn't grant a standing order and it takes more than a month for you to discover that - that's YOUR problem, not the client's.

some apparent (yeah, right) big-wig called to set things right and convince me not to cancel my account. at least i get a month "free" - because they're not charging an arm and a leg - but things weren't 100% by the end because my complaint concerned not having been treated as a human being and i'm not sure if the message got through.

there're only two strikes available, and if i get any more shit from them they're out. i hate been screwed with.

---nystire came over for a visit, and we talked all sorts of rubbish. after he left, i got some ugly work done (SVN troubles) and then left early to play frisbee on the beach with pg. because that's what we do. and she's good.

some woman walking along the beach interrupted our exercise to remark on the wonderful sunset. i agreed, and was then informed (hello, Miss Tact) that it was even more wonderful because she'd been reading psalms, and wouldn't i like to... then she noticed the look on my face, and hurried off apologetically.

psalms. when you don't want people to think, make them read shit they don't understand. read them into submission. better yet - have them read themselves into submission.

---we had frozen yoghurt instead of dinner - it was awesome. and there's now an app for loyalty cards (rewardy), so less wasted paper and less "shit, i left it at home". on the way, i explained to a guy who'd left his bike running outside that it's not so efficient - why does nobody know about this???

an evening of readings (hemingway), plus rum, marzipan, and wire-fu. no, not *that* wire-fu: making a fishing rod out of wire.

cool.

---today:

6.10am wake-up, and i got up realizing that through all the shit of the past ten months, i really have been landing with my bum in in butter. i'm dating a great girl, living in a great place, i finally have a decent job, i'm still loving my studies (enough to apply to be a TA next year) and party season's about to begin. it may not have been easy, but, to quote my otherwise misguided brother, when you're on a mission the universe does conspire to assist you.

i had a quick nap before getting ready for class, instant dreaming and intensive.
on the bus, i avoided eye-contact with an italian wearing a hat only to be accosted by botchman's friend and sucked in to a political debate about exporting water in the form of flowers and fruit. i was kinda grateful when the woman sitting on my right asked us to pipe down, and i returned to my readings.

i don't know who it is, and i'm beginning to suspect someone i'm fairly close to - figuratively - but every first class on mondays and thursdays has had a smelly entity and it's not okay. i'm considering moving away from the usual suspects because it's tough to concentrate when a moment of bad breath or BO strikes.

[continued...]

exam times - part i

[post divided retroactively]

wow! the semester is officially over, and my first final is in five days. of course, it's the horrible one - all the rest are take-home papers and i'm rather looking forward to those :D

---wednesday:

i awoke to the sounds of construction, interfering with my dreams even more than the alarm clock could. i was nervous, too - my first poetry reading was fast approaching. as i prepared for the day a storm of ideas broke, and i caught them on my iphone's notepad to the pitter-patter sound of my fast-beating heart.

pg's doppelgänger was waiting for the same bus - what, is she also a neighbour?! that's just ridiculous.

wednesday was wr's birthday, so i called him up to wish him a happy one. as it turned out, he was on his way to say hi... we sat watching robot chicken star wars and chatting, and i was going to walk into class a little late but then all my classmates began to walk out the building; she'd stood us up again, and in her place the TA was taking Q 'n A. a few of us missioned to buy beer and drink it in the park while spinning on a carousel. it was as good a start to the day as could be.

---except for the bit, earlier on, when i spoke to a financial advisor about the money the army took off my salary for my "pension". so i've been screwed twice - no, thrice by them.
part 1: NIS 9000 that i didn't get because i served 2.5 years with an inappropriate rank.
part 2: earning no more than one third of the minimum salary i'd have commanded if i hadn't signed on.
part 3: that pension money going nowhere. after almost four years, my army pension account is now sitting at a whopping NIS 500. that'd sort me out with lunch for... a couple of weeks. maybe.

---after the park we joined the study session in the library. the guy i'd argued with online sat down next to me, and the argument resumed - only much louder than before. at some point a girl behind us couldn't decide whether we were bothering her or if she wanted to take part, so three of us (not including the girl) took the debate outside (after i explained to her that arguments are for arriving at conclusions, and that we're still all friends).
we talked another ten minutes or so before the third guy jumped on my opponent: "ah-HA! you just contradicted yourself!"

it's so nice when others can do that for me :D

eventually we sorted everything out - he understood what i was getting at and agreed that saying things like that outside of one's private circle can be dangerous; in fact, the point the caused the aforementioned contradiction was him saying that he'd think less of any friend that called him "ashkenazi" because he was trying to better himself.

---after deciding that we'd understood shklovsky and motifs we took a break for lunch, joined by eidetic and a discussion about course workloads. then it was time to print out the poetry i was going to read and practice. nerves, you see.

---the reading itself was fun! and there really wasn't any reason to get so excited. it'll definitely be easier next time. i began with dead eye, shared my stream of consciousness and finished off with a compass. the more i read that last one, the happier i become with it :)

lessons learned: if only i'd thought to thank the organizers while on the stage! it seems to be the right thing to do. also, i guess it's always a good idea to put together a presentation so that it's easier to follow the words (i *hope* i read mine clearly enough, but one never can tell) and get the more obscure references (like the description of the petrified forest, or the "blood-sucking missiles", or the "steamy soprano fissures").

i've been informed indirectly by the sponsor that i'll be invited back at some stage ^_^

---pg and i took the bus home, and before going out i crashed for an hour. i don't know how long it's been since i kipped that deeply.

i groggily took the bus and a walk to "arthur's" at the harbour - no indication on the building that that's the place, which is a bit silly in my opinion. i'd brought nerds to share, and we all sat there drinking beers and staring at the victoria's secret fashion show. there were some crazy pieces! and i usually don't care much for that sort of thing, but that was simply smoking hot.

... one of my american co-workers made a decidedly uneducated remark on nixon, and i got stuck into explaining the origins and outcomes of the war on drugs...

i left just in time to catch the nine home, prepare a birthday present, stop by pg's to say goodnight, walk onto the five (two buses with perfect timing? no way!) and arrive in time to join wr for the third song of the evening. the show was absolutely brilliant, so much so that even the band members are a bit concerned about being able to maintain such a high level. we all loved it ^_^

we discussed running a pastafarian bar, where all liquor is considerably cheaper and the rum barely above cost. i think that might work.

---thursday:

epic, long complex dreams disappearing on a puff of sleep dust chased by peaceful alarm clock memories and crushed by adrenaline heart-pounding and failed, desperate clawing to hold on to fragments of their wisdom just long enough to write it down before such heady beauty is lost entirely

virginia woolf - mrs dalloway is growing on me. i'd gotten up super early (6.30am) to catch up on the reading, and after a quarter of the book i decided i quite like it. and it reminded me of bi-planes flying advertising banners. haven't seen those in many years.

i dozed and read on the couch under my warm blanket for a couple of hours, then got ready and left. as i closed the door, my recycling box jumped down onto the floor to remind me that i'd run a load of washing - thank you, cardboard box! that could've been an unpleasant surprise.

on a completely unrelated note: my iphone's camera is fucked. it crashes every time i try to take a photo, and most times without storing the snap :S

our first lecture, with the italian sick, was taken by his teaching assistant. after the class i was compelled to approach her and ask her why she couldn't have taken the whole damned semester. she was a vast improvement.
the study session was difficult to manage without becoming sidetracked. every time the guys got rowdy, i threw another reason at them and we continued. thank you, matthew!

have i asked the following question before? it concerns our italian lecturer: who understands humans and yet chooses to become a cultural anthropologist?
what we need is an anthro-apologist.

i was planning on napping before the last class, but instead found myself meeting new and interesting people instead. one of those people is the child of expatriate south africans, who suggested that i hit the telfed up for a scholarship...

odd that: my iphone corrected the word "telfed" to "gelded".

the last poetry lesson was hardcore: adrienne rich hardcore. that stuff's so potent and heady we didn't have much to say.

---work last night was alright, although my beanie appears to be gone. gone. gone. i loved that beanie :(

-someone came to talk to me towards the end of the evening, and just as we'd agreed on how he needs to proceed he said something that i felt, on my lip. spittle flying is never a nice thing for either party involved, but that was worse than usual :S

---i made my way home, relatively early (about 10pm), and dropped off my bag. then i took a slow walk to pg's listening to awesome psychedelic rock... [this bit censored on the grounds that it might give a bad impression of us pirates, but it does involve surprisingly piratey behaviour (^_^)]

we were going to watch a movie, but i passed out instead. i do that a lot, lately :S
hopefully the next semester will be a little less crazy.

---today:

i walked home via the bookstore, picking up the death of ivan ilyich & other stories, mysteries of celtic britain, great expectations, the great gatsby, heart of darkness, survival of the sickest, fragile things, and, because it seems piratey, pirate latitudes - all paid for using the gift card my employer bought me for my birthday :))

i hurried off to work - i'd agreed to spend an hour there helping out the unhelpful IT guy if and only if nobody else could - and was accosted by the caretaker of a neighbourhood synagogue who needed assistance changing a light-bulb. of course i would help; pity about the bus :/

so i got screwed for breakfast - my hands were cable-tied, as it were. i spent the first hour and a half waiting for him - at least i always have work to do - then the last hour sorting cables.

[continued...]

still shocked - need more time

[this post brought to you by diamond head]

all my troubles began yesterday with my inability to catch a quick nap before heading off to work. i went out to catch the bus, and one of our managers was on it... he decided to get off at the same station as me to see if it was any closer.

it wasn't. his response?
"i'm gonna slap the bitch outta you"

i spent the afternoon working, then continuing with my paper within the calm of the phone lines. the head manager who's stepping out brought chocolate ice-cream bites... they were frozen solid and cold. and not good to have in one's mouth when answering a call.

after the shift i spoke to someone about an interesting-sounding job. halfway through the conversation i was asked if i didn't feel overqualified for the job... my boss was standing far too close for comfort when i said "listen, the job i'm doing now? i don't wanna use dirty words, so i'm not going to describe what levels i've resorted to."

[*suddenly feels better after a quick break*]

on my way out i was reminded of aziz ansari because i usually rollerblade. with one gay co-worker and one straight, the three of us went down a gratuitously gory mental spiral, eventually reaching a low enough point with the following (you'll have to select it to read it, it's awful):
a gherkin merkin': badly shorn pubic hair over a small, green penis suffering genital herpes

so we called it quits.
[for those who've read the above - don't you wish you hadn't?]

i hopped over to the university, beginning the experience in the orange store. all i wanted to know what how to check my balance... the saleswoman had no idea either. while attempting her suggestions, i got to witness her using grimy tricks on other customers. they really do talk a lot of horseshit.

i walked inside to find a hanukkah headphone party. i had a beer while discussing idealism with co-conspirator (or do i refer to her as a union-mate?) before we headed to the student union meeting. it began late, so we talked a lot more. i have a lot of things to say.

first item on the agenda - an announcement regarding the fire last week. it's touching to hear all the stories about the people who took command and donated their time and helped physically with the ordeal. it's disturbing to hear all the stories about the government institutions (some aid ones in particular) and services who did as little as they could get away with.

the next couple of items were interesting too, and fortunately a bit more positive. there's a hint that we may have succeeded somewhere along the line...

i wasn't happy about leaving early, but i had promised to get to singer's first performance on time. if only the invitation i'd received hadn't been incorrect, i would've known that i had an hour more than i'd thought. i didn't have to miss the main item on the agenda :(

i decided on falafel on my way home, and walked into the place next door just as they were setting out the candles. all the patrons (including one really strange man and his child, i'm certain that kid's not getting the best genes in the pool) were stuck singing for their supper...

... i rushed home, strapped on my blades and got to the bar *just* one hour early. buggrit. i haven't seen her family since we stopped seeing each other, so that was a little... a little awkward. amusing, though, that nobody recognized me with hair :P

that extra beer... i tried to read, i tried to write, and eventually, circuitously, entered a conversation with the beautiful girl sitting at my table that lasted until the show started.
single-serve friends :P

that extra beer... that went to my head.

the performance was brilliant - i'm really impressed. thoroughly amused, too - the last song was the one singer and i argued over the most, and when she got to the Big Fix she made a really mischievous face at me while singing it her way :)

her one song got stuck in my head for most of the next twelve hours. not bad, not bad at all.

she finished earlier than anticipated, and i rolled out of there and into the group. we had one tough blade, but very social. i even found out who's borrowed my copy of johnny mnemonic! (after my phone upgrade...)

pg and i had an argument, and we irritated each other a lot with this one... i worked out my frustration with some serious exercise. my legs were strained by the time i finally got home (around 1.30am).

i walked in, quaffed an energy drink, showered and got to work on my paper. the only thing that got in the way was my windows installation. i'd forgotten how much i despise microsoft - windows 7's a huge improvement technologically, but some of their measures are still rather draconian.

around 4am sorter was giving me a few pointers as i prepared to put together the last page or two. i was all over the place comparing readings and fixing things when my whole neighbourhood lost power. no wireless, no light, a few hours left before the paper was due... not good.

not good.

---i figured it was best to go to bed and sleep a couple of hours, but the caffeine was still in charge and it must have taken me about half an hour to catch some z's. and two hours is just not enough sleep.

i spent about ten grim minutes snoozing, then dragged myself out of bed and got cracking. i put together the summary and tidied up some more, then made triply-sure that i had a copy to print when i got to campus.

yes! first print was smooth, first peer-review not so much. i grabbed her paper (for a moment she thought i was serious about replacing her cover page and handing it in as mine) and fixed the style issues, printed again and refused to look back.

our first class was the usual nightmare - only it gets a little worse every time. at least it had an amusing warm-up; we're all starting to get familiar with each other :)
so half the class have notes they don't understand, the other stopped wasting their time trying, and one or two *think* they got it but that's only because we've been talking about the same shit for the past six classes. it's a terrible course :(

the end of it was perfect, though. the professor talked about shklovsky (at least i think it was him) saying that in order to be art the representation must be difficult to understand. the more difficult, the more artistic. that was when it struck me as appropriate for her to be reflexively discussing an idea that represents her: she's an artiste. she's making it as tough to follow her as possible because that increases our exposure to her techne :/

---one of the girls mentioned a vampire smiley in class, and that always reminds me of the life of riley - one of the greatest webcomics i've ever read!

doughnuts waiting for us outside of class, a cup of coffee, and the next class (almost) made up for the first. i'd done the reading during the first (the lady with the dog) and had plenty of opinions and side-notes. even though i broke a genre boundary by bringing in an argument based on frank herbert (RIPASBF*) and robert jordan (RIPAPBF**) that scored me big brownie points with the lecturer. i'm well pleased, even though i probably shouldn't be :D

 * RIPASBF: may he rest in peace and his son burn forever
** RIPAPBF: may he rest in peace and his publisher burn forever

i tried telling the british girl in our class a little johnny joke, but she didn't get it :S

i had a quick, burny lunch with pg and eidetic, then stopped by wr to hear there's a girl looking to help out with anime night - *GLEE*!

i chatted with a couple of guys from our poetry class, then went out to the bus. while waiting, a blind man, his guide dog and a young girl stopped in the centre of the stop to wait for the bus. there were a couple of people right next to the man when, mid-sentence, he let one rip. he carried on as if nothing had happened, and everyone remained still and quiet - except me. i had to get some distance between us, and quickly, when the smell hit: the expression that struck me a short while later was "a guided fart".

i was D-E-D dead tired, and i almost slept on the bus (not a good idea for a short trip). once i'd arrived at work i realized that i was wearing the wrong shirt for the interview i was going to - not everyone appreciates "i wanna **** [princess peach] like an animal".
i got some work done, then rushed home to change to something less offensive.

on the bus, it suddenly struck me why statistics and people who put their faith in them bother me. just as plato's reflections, they seem to have power but are no more than misleading figures. when we use stats... we're facing the wrong direction.

forgetting my military training (har, har) i chose all the wrong buses to the interview, and was a bit late. in retrospect, i should have worn the original shirt. i think the guy was having a laugh at my expense, he was cryptic and had me off-balance from the start. it's not clear if he was impressed or disappointed, and his excessive wordiness afterwards makes me think it's not going to happen.

i went back to work, worked hard and well, then switched with one of the agents and spent the rest of the evening being mindless.

it's now really late, i have readings to do. going to a wedding this evening isn't a good idea. i hope it's not too late to cancel? and dammit, i haven't gotten back to the guy who interviewed me two weeks ago...

the fire's still not out... - part ii

[... continued]

did i say night? is it sleeping late if it's only a handful of hours? i woke up just before noon to post photos from my recovered camera and respond (belatedly) to all the birthday wishes i got), then bladed to the wall to meet with scrapper.

the wall was tough on us, but i pushed through for a good finish. i left satisfied for the first time in ages :)

my hands were really sore, though.

i bought capetonian wine on my way home as a dinner gift, then scrambled to get ready to go to one of my professors' poetry readings. we'd left too late, though... i was disappointed. pg was shocked that tel aviv pubs and bars are so crowded and busy so early on a friday evening - i think i need to introduce her to the city she lives in :D

i was blessed with a crazy meeting on our way out... we ran into a friend of mine that i haven't seen in years! i've been worried about darko, but he seems to be doing absolutely fine and we sat chatting for half an hour over beers before pg and i had to get going.

shaking his hand afterwards painfully reminded me that i'd been on the wall a couple of hours before :P

dinner was loud, boisterous and fun - as usual :)
half the family was there, and already i've received pleased communication from south africa that pg has been described as my "lovely" girlfriend... news sure does travel fast :P

watching the news on the fire was pornographic. the media presentation was too detailed to be respectful of those who lost their lives...

---part of the dinner conversation covered a couple of cousins of mine - one in hospital with meningitis and his sister so riddled with cancer that she's had both her breasts and her uterus removed. that's so unfortunate that i don't want to absorb the information.

---my biggest complaint about the meal was that there was too much food and that i couldn't stop eating it even when i was totally stuffed :(

pg and i made it early for show, and i was disappointed to discover that the tmuna theatre wasn't in its usual configuration - kc's sister and boyfriend could definitely have joined us. even more disappointing when considering them because the show was awesome - the phototaxis kick ass! and yael deckelbaum was, as usual, AMAZING.

one of their songs put the following line in my head: "you'll have to buy back your meat from me". i can't even remember what the original lyrics were :P

---saturday:

we had a post-show social with wr and his brother, and i was presented with the new album as a gift ^_^

i stopped off at home to check my work schedule, and was surprised to find, yet again, a problem with it. this has got to stop!

i crashed at pg's, and we slept late. we had a really lazy, comfortable start to what turned out to be a breathtakingly perfect day outside - we need rain! it's winter! this weather is TOO good!
we had an excellent breakfast at cafesito, then came to my place to pseudo-study - i can't say that i got too far with my paper, although i did, at least, start writing it.

i passed by eidetic to pick up the gear from thursday evening, then went with pg to ze sushi for an excellent meal. aside from a few moments of discomfort when a mother couldn't get her baby to stop screaming, everything was as it should be. i may have consumed too much saki. the chef made a point of treating me to extra sashimi :)

when we returned, pg got stuck into my haiku magnets before going to bed, and i spent a few hours having issues with the flex debugger (thank you, chrome, for being difficult), then with the bytearray (why is it that most of the tutorials are simply wrong?), then overloading (because actionscript doesn't allow it), along with a few more things that i really shouldn't need to understand. i don't *wanna* be a flex expert :/

i love marilyn manson, doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag kicks ass.

---today:

i had a decent sleep, waking up to attempt fielding's tom jones. i didn't get as far as i'd have liked.

i entered a poetry competition (general gripe, sunday morning surprise, springs have sprung and slow spiral): i hope i win something!

flex and i have been weirdly bonding this morning. how is it that the man i'm doing this for has unwittingly chosen a test-the-waters project that's so complicated? he *just* called me to say that we got the tender for the first job, so it looks like i'm going to be busy this week :)

on the grass

yesterday began with a sharp start pre-alarm...
after a forgotten experience, a few of us decide it's time for a road trip. i end up walking the last bit.
we find a cheap hostel and go missioning around on my blades- i find myself in a store having a sing-along with some s&m chick from the panic ensemble grotesque [a mere construct of my mind, unfortunately]

upon my return to the hostel i set my blades down beside a pillar outside (i'm now wearing sandals). some cops appear to take a dislike to me, chase me down and put me in their patrol car...
they give me shit, but i'm don't play along - they have nothing on me. i threaten them with multiple complaints and eventually, frustrated, they give up and drop me off.

i pick up my blades and walk into a friend and his family who are all having dinner outside the hostel. i urgently tell him what's up, he disappears inside... and walks out with two humungous joints to "calm me down". one of the cops was still keeping an eye on me, though - out of the corner of my eye i caught him rushing off to report to his friends.

feeling responsible, i rush through to my room and out the rear window to find a hiding place amongst the randomness of the back yard; i eventually find a good spot to ditch the damned things but i'm too late: a number of cops pour into the yard and see where i've been: i know they'll know where to look.

i woke up with my heart pounding and both my hands numb and lifeless - i hate it when that happens :(

my ipod accompanied me to an early shopping run, and for the first time in a while i drank freshly squeezed orange juice... a pity that the oranges i've acquired are a tad on the bitter side.

the blade to campus was tougher than on monday - perhaps having done around 25km a few hours before had something to do with that. also, it was a little hotter than the preceding days. i was horrifically sweaty.

wr arrived just as we were excitedly ascertaining the validity of the exclamation that our first, horrid professor had cancelled our freud-abuse session, and informed us of some amusing intrigue involving a couple of our professors and a terrifying lack of fashion sense.
a few of us formed a circle on the grass - i was planning on studying some, but the conversation bounced back and forth with great rapidity between anime and literature... it's the end of week four, and bonds are forming :)

i don't know why there was a band playing on the grass outside gillman, but i am glad for the coffee promotion - free black coffee with cardamom? sweet.

so fiction is defined by the consensus reality at time of publication? unless it's auto-biographical? a class argument on galileo, the bible and historical fallacies simply extended the pleasure of the day :)

---it has been suggested (thank you, pg) that the reason so much weird shit happens to me is because i continue to demonstrate the inability to ignore people and the world around me. it makes a certain sense... most people do their damndest not to get involved; i do tend to go out of my way.

on a slightly different note: i've now opened up another side to my blog with some of my works, and have been out of the army for more than five months. maybe i should stop being so anonymous?

---i had lunch with comixer and eidetic - a long debate over the definition of "the city". it seems that by the end comixer was convinced that moving to central tel aviv is the right thing to do :P

the blade to work was smoother, and i spent the next three hours re-familiarizing myself with perl (apparently it doesn't matter how much one prays, perl is still the best way to perform certain tasks. i still hate it, though) and debating the meaning of empathy with a couple of my co-workers.

i ditched work to meet up with scrapper, botchman and footcruncher at my place. we spent the evening playing tekken and having a really good munchkin session; the final battles saw me with some really useful cards in hand, and the guys were shocked at how much suspense i can introduce to a simple card game :D

as we closed shop (i had to hurry, i'd left pg waiting again) i suddenly realized an awful by-product of my phone upgrade - my lending list is gone! now i have no idea who's got what :'(
[now downloading the nokia software - maybe i can resurrect something]

i hurried to pg's, and everything was all good. we finally watched the end of sherlocke holmes - it's a slightly different sherlocke holmes, but it's a lot of fun and captured the essence of the original characters. i think it's jude law's best performance.

i slept at pg's, then woke up at 6am to come back here and... presumably... study. there's been a far sight more "other" than "study".
that's just it, really. i'm going through yet another transition phase, with a hundreds different faces all clamouring for attention.

---there's a strike on campus today; this is a quick paraphrase from the president of the university:
"you guys are 'the people' - and the greatest advantage to our country. the country needs to treat you right."

another two days down - part i

[post divided retroactively]

there's me gliding along the beachfront waterways on my surfboard, avoiding monsters at dusk. i turn into a side-street, into an enclosed neighbourhood, just beginning to buzz. the first circular stairs are uninviting, so i go on to the next; climbing up to the landing and unsure of which way to turn.

i'm staring out at the gorgeous view and wandering what i'm aiming for when akiva - a tall, blonde south african - storms out his door at the opposite end of the foyer to chuck me out for trespassing. i try to explain but he tries to forcefully remove me, going so far as to attempt punching me in the 'nads.
i don't take well to this, i protect myself then punch him squarely in the face before locking up his arms... once he's calmed down we talk amiably. the enormous window through which i'd been viewing the sunset has turned out to be a gigantic movie screen - i compliment the awesome setup before we say goodbye and he goes back inside.

i'm descending the stairs, but now at the bottom is a lawn and it's daylight; there's a table with breakfasters blocking my way and i stop about five stairs up. there is a lady wearing black petticoats and a hood bent down on the grass and a fence that rises just to my waist-height behind her.
i'm looking for a gap to drop into when a little girl arrives, whose motion seems so unpredictable that i pause mid-movement and require the top of the fence to keep me from landing on anyone.

the man at the table eyeballs me as i wait, a little less patiently. "that's the queen, you know" he tells me. twice. i'm not sure what he means by that, and i drop down into the gap that's just reopened. as i land, the queen (still bent over) half turns towards me.
i bow.
no response.
i'm not sure she's noticed my gesture, so i take a step sideways and bow again - formally and a bit awkwardly.

the queen rises.
the queen salutes.
i salute back.
i wish her a good morning.

i turn and walk away, seeing her smile and face her companion, saying something in french about a "lieutenant" that makes me suspect she's detected my officerness. i grin and march smartly off.

---it's tuesday already? this is ridiculous.

saturday night:
i semi-studied (it was hard to focus); pg watched the tigger movie. i had dinner at her place, and then slept like a baby.

sunday:

on sundays we can go to class together. we got on the same bus as eidetic and the chemist - amusing - as well as a girl i did the officer's course with - not so amusing.

i recounted my security guard experience on our way through the gates, asking out loud if i *look* like an arab. then i remembered two things.
1) i'm not in the army anymore, so being an arab isn't supposed to be threatening to our security guards
2) i have a student card on which i look like i was captured from a terrorist cell

i felt like an ass for having asked...

the day began with two boring lectures. the second one was less so than the first, but i was bored because there were things i wanted to say but other people got there first.
the ultra-sensitive guy from wednesday managed to offend me back... we talked, things were cool, i stuck out my hand to shake his as i was turning to leave and he just left me hanging :P

i had lunch with comixer and the chemist, we talked about his project (i got to be helpful!) and then got political. dreary conversations, those.

between buses, pink floyd - dogs came on and i was transported back to yogi's old crib's couch, pre-military. i couldn't stop smiling when i thought of how much i've overcome and how little i've changed in my appreciation of the finer things in life. quite the opposite, actually - i'm proud of how i've come through :)

i learned not to take the 45; it doesn't get me home. i took the opportunity to go and buy ink for my printer, feeling sorry for the miserable-looking "best-dressed" goth dude (totally didn't suit him) and having a good laugh at the old guy who whizzed past the bus on rollerblades with a brightly-coloured walking stick.

i got a good deal on the ink, dropped it off at home and strapped on my blades to get to work. i know winter's coming because i wasn't sweating so much when i arrived...
the hours i did weren't particularly constructive. they were quite frustrating, actually. i was intrigued by one of the best / worst ads i've ever come across:
do you haz teh codez?
sheesh.

[continued...]

gliding - part i

[post divided retroactively]

today being friday bears witness to the fluid, exaggerated nature of the last two days. i've just woken up - as usual more for some misguided biological principle than for having acquired enough sleep - to perform a review of the whirlwind's beginning before venturing to tidy up the next seven days.

---tuesday night: return to the group was strange and wonderful. there was a lot more talking than blading, which was only to be expected, but the route was fun and the chatter almost entirely pleasant. the only thing that wasn't pleasant involved one of the girls: a couple of us were talking to her when her contact slipped. she disappeared, we carried on talking, and only later discovered that it had torn, and that she'd almost been left behind.

i felt like a real heel.

by the time we'd completed the run i had to desperately drink a coke to prevent myself from passing out.

i had lots of material to catch up with before wednesday's classes - pg came over to finish watching the 60's, i cracked open a beer once we'd both settled in to our respective positions in the lounge and we ended up going to bed around 4am, both still with slightly moist cheeks from the movie. i've seen it a couple of times now, and so can be touched even with my back turned.

aside from the movie in the background, i'd spent the three hours unhappily discovering that the primary text with its insipid, awkward construction was nothing more than a long vent against a previous claim. i'm still not sure what the point being made was.

---wednesday:

it's not easy getting out of bed early when you're lying next to someone who you know is going to sleep late.

it's been a heatwave week, and the crowded bus was even hotter than the air outside. all of us clambered out of the sardine can sweaty and uncomfortable to drag heels up the steps to the university. first class with the professor? after the morning's ugly readings? great.

i kept a seat for stg - who arrived seconds before we began and aggravated the ta (the ta's own fault, though - she put her gear on the seat next to me when i wasn't looking). score one negative mark. stg then informed me that she'd sent a whiny email to the ta concerning the quantity of prep-work: score two. this ain't your animation campus kansas anymore, sweety.

and then she left class early, to the professor's ire and agitation. it was suggested that names will now be taken before *and* after class. jeez. and score three.

the next class was much more fun - totally my style. we argued plato's allegory of the cave; not a lot of people seemed to be getting what was going on. i, personally, now consider myself an "anti-plato" in that i agree with the allegory, only i understand that it is not the thoughts that come first. those initial thoughts are derived from our physical sensory input. the fact that we have absolutely no way to consider that input in a meaningful manner doesn't detract from their reality.

i didn't have much time to talk with pg before she had to get to class and i to meet for cheap lunch with comixer (the mongoose's real best friend) and lawn arguments with both him and eidetic concerning the nature of scientific thought.

---what is science? when we talk of the physical realm, we have a method of analysing our observations to extract hypotheses and then testing them to ensure that they are correct. as there is only one physical space with one set of rules, the results of this process can only be correct if they are consistent with everything else we know - or vice versa. [see quantum physics vs theory of general relativity]

as the psychology of a human is inherently contradictory and open to interpretation, no such limitation or measure of accuracy is possible. the method is the same, ie. scientific, but it is possible to determine and prove two contradictory results.

having said that, it is still possible to call "bullshit!" on a piece of literary criticism.

---the debate also touched on the function of a university and the "new model" of it being a place to acquire lists of marks as opposed to an education, but that's a big topic.

i had to leave on an unfinished note - to everyone's dismay, apparently - to get to work. on my way to the office urchin called looking for advice regarding an interesting opportunity: she'll have to pay for it, but i threw her a positive voice because, as i told her, we only live once :)

aspie, the girl i work with who's always giving me shit (but we seem to be friends, it's always fun and awkward to fight with her) was excited and wretched; the only thing i wasn't impressed with was a weird moment when she crossed a line by tapping my head with her shoe. otherwise it was all business as usual :P

i'd intended to catch up on readings during my shift. i got through a bit, but as i was the only agent on duty and the lines rang for most of the two hours i didn't do enough to be satisfied...

...

i was supposed to meet with the director after work but he called to say he couldn't make it - i'm disappointed. then i spoke to a girl who's looking for subjects for a colour interpretation study on campus, and i'll be paid to participate. this is almost like agreeing to medical experiments... i'm not far off, i tell you :P

pg and i took a bus to the barbie, arriving there on time and an hour early (depends on which way you look at it). we went off to find food - i don't know about the quality of the chicken livers i ate, but the meal hit the spot) and talk about the chest-leading scenes from donnie darko: i think i may be on to something.

balabusta surprised me with how good they were, but hatachtonim gave a *real* performance. as usual. they kick ass! and pg appears to have enjoyed it too :))

it being a few hours before a long day we took a taxi home. i was convinced to take part in messing with our driver by the other drivers hanging around; he got really upset at first but then calmed down and was quite amiable on the way home :)

i completed honore de balzac - at the sign of the cat and racket before realizing that i wouldn't be able to continue without sleep.

--- dead sleep ---
[continued...]

connect goodbye

i met up with scrapper and we went for burgers, where our d&d dm (eidetic) joined us. we talked science and philosophy for a couple of hours, and would have continued if not for the fact that i'd promised to go to one of the group's farewell bash and felt obligated to make good.

i'm glad i did. the more of the group i meet, the better my impression of the whole... and i got my i feel sick comics back :)

the quotes for the night:
"we're not so unimportant: the concept of 'the universe' wouldn't exist without us" - part of my "proof" that we're worth saving

"i am blessed with the genetic imperative to bring about positive change" - just a stray thought that occurred to me on my way home

intrigue!

i have a lot to learn.
i came up with a good plan, and we've begun a pirate adventure :)

nice kids, i can see there'll be a lot of munchkinning, but i'm more interested in familiarizing myself with the role of on-the-fly storyteller and keeper of the plot device. also, i don't think there's a better way to get a grip on the damn rules :P

apparently i remind one of the guys of gerard butler.