circling the drain

jesus h. f. christ.

today's report from the teacher, after a morning with a "doesn't-give-a-fuck" nine year old, described multiple instances of mr smear being verbally abusive and violent with kids in his class, and ripping up another kid's drawing, the same kid he threw a rock at a year and a half ago. and, when looking that up, i discovered that this isn't the first time he's torn up his artwork, either. he remembers the rock incident, he doesn't remember the torn artwork.

this is literally in-fucking-sane.

gd and i confronted him and made it abundantly clear to him that in addition to his behavior being unacceptable and gross and disappointing, it's also going to directly affect his chances of leaving the school. it was at that point that he finally seemed sufficiently contrite (and apparently embarrassed) that we left him alone for a while.

once he'd calmed down, i had a talk with him, and gd joined in, about how he can't change what he's done but he can change how he behaves tomorrow. in fits and starts, the rest of the afternoon went better, but goddamn i'm not sure if we're getting through to him at all.

yesterday:

yesterday was cold and wet. gd was sick. i went to our parental guidance meeting alone, and i feel it was constructive - in part because i think the therapist is beginning to understand the scope of the issues. i went to the office for an hour or two, then caught the bus to pick mr smear up from school and take him to his therapy session. i sat and worked in the shitty aroma coffee shop, then picked him up and we caught a bus back home.

i worked hard yesterday, for zero results.

today:

today was very cold, and threatened to be a lot wetter than it was.

i woke up early from a strangely comforting dream including badger and hyperviper. up until then i think i slept pretty well. oh, and i'm making slow progress through count zero, but it's really been off-and-on.

the walk to school this morning could have been worse, considering how things had been before we left. i replaced the water filter, which became somewhat dramatic and required a call for technical support, and did some other minor chores, and then tried to continue my ticket.

i worked hard today, for almost zero results.

it looks like the "product" we're using is broken somehow, so i've created an issue and hopefully i'll get something useful in return.

i picked mr smear up from school, took him to his hebrew lesson, and sat down outside a different coffee shop because they had a toilet and didn't have a bad attitude. so much for being "my new place".

at least i got something constructive (something else) done while i was there.

the afternoon was mostly overshadowed by the bad report, i'm not sure how much real work i managed to get through but i was making an effort while simultaneously making sure that mr smear was doing what he was supposed to...

i haven't not been emotionally drained in more than a week. i'm tired.

the rush - part i

it's been a busy, trying week. and a long, busy weekend. most of it's been spent focusing on my poetry, and taking my game to the next level. which means buying a domain name, and getting ready to publish a short collection of poetry. it all feels like a big deal.

---monday:

fighting the snooze. working hard. sending a wire transfer to pg for half the amount i owe her as a show of goodwill. not taking any steps toward transferring my lease because i didn't have the deposit yet.

i made good progress at work, but it's all very slow going. that's kind of the story of the week: i'm really fortunate that i'm not on any official project yet because that gives me time to deal with the ridiculous state of the software i'm working on. it's been a week of research and refactoring, in particular learning just how limited mobile html5 implementations are.

my first code review: overall, very positive, very nice. unfortunately, i managed to upset big junior a little; i was worried that our difference of opinion on coding style would become a thing but it hasn't.

i worked late, again, and at around 6.30pm officially signed off and logged my hours. i spent another fifteen minutes drinking coffee and perusing facebook with my headphones on, when suddenly i registered that my manager and boss were laughing at me for "working late". that didn't feel good, but it was all in good fun and i'm fairly certain they trust me.

boxing: high powered training with a beginner who's a fast learner. it's all about focus, relaxing, breathing, and it's amusing to me, "robocop", to be instructing someone else in these points.

the surprise of i-forgot-my-membership's-expiring right when i'm paying other big amounts? not so nice. fortunately, the next day i'd sort it out and working for my company gets me a 37% discount on a year's all-access pass. hopefully i'll get about two-thirds of what i paid back when i pass my probation period...

aaaand i've reached my credit limit. i've been on the edge the whole week, i *need* to get through to next week's paycheck...

i got home early-ish, had a good dinner and watched being human.

---tuesday:

so much to do, so little time...
garbage, dishes, and email (with some good news from pg about israeli social security). it was a beautiful morning, i left earlier than usual but still later than i'd like...

... gd had accidentally bought cookies that weren't vegan, so i spent the morning pushing them on my co-workers. that seemed to go down well :P

there's nothing like trying to give a software demo to a boardroom and having it fail, only to discover later that the software cannot be run on a machine that has a remote desktop connection. huh! what was cool was learning that microsoft has a remote desktop app for the iphone that works *really* well.

i keep forgetting to put sunscreen on when i leave the office, until i get outside and it's too late for me to go back up and come down again.
i decided i needed to start the credit check in spite of not having the deposit in hand, so i handed the building manager the notice of assignment and paid for the check. i was hungry when i hit the supermarket and found myself in an odd frenzy over rice crackers.

i'm getting comfortable practicing my poetry performance in public.

it was good timing for picking up allergy meds, but shitty timing for developing a sore throat when i had a performance scheduled for the following day. i worked hard until late, eventually giving up on mobile html5 implementations. the worst part of their failures is that they're bloody deliberate.

kickboxing: crazy class, feeling tough most of the time. badger brought me an hd video camera in lieu of coming to the show herself, and tried to record my technique as a demonstration but our instructor kept moving in front of the camera. she introduced me to all the features i'd need and showed me how to set up her decidedly nifty tripod, after which i returned home for another good dinner, loads of talking, and discovering the hard way that my computer and the hd camera are not willing to talk to one another.

[too tired to continue writing.]

[continued...]

drained - part i

örmagörd. i can't believe it's sunday after 6pm as i begin writing this, and i haven't had a chance to breathe the entire week nor the entire weekend. i've been super tired and busy and i really, really need a rest. to be clear, the weekend's chores are far from over :(

---sunday:

after saturday night's blogging, 1.30am to bed, followed by a good sleep. more blogging and chores - including trying and failing to take a good photo of me for the slam team's fundraising efforts. on our way to midi 6 for breakfast i remembered to take pieces of chalk, and i took *just* enough to cross out "A LIE" from
BEAUTY IS
A LIEand replace it with
BEAUTY IS
SUBJECTIVE
BLINDNESS
IS A CHOICE"
i felt much better after that.

midi 6 was great, and our second attempt to take a photo of me was a fantastic success!

my beard was all scratchy and called for an emergency shave. airplane sent me some work he's done recently and it's EPIC comic work! more blogging and chores, then suddenly not feeling good at all.

gd and i don't agree on the current ebola situation, and i'm siding with these people. the ad preceding the video was for dr pepper, though, with the doctor moving through a hospital treating patients with soda. that's messed up.

my mother surprised me by calling using facetime - it must've been about 3am her time, and she was testing it out. apparently she's more of an "early" adopter than i am :P

we watched some being human, i felt a bit better, the weekend ended.

---monday:

as opposed to a photo of me from the end of last year that garnered a lot of likes, the approval for my new profile picture has actually been flattering :)

i got up early, did a ton of dishes and buggered about with google play music and somehow left late in spite of my best intentions. i tweaked my latest poems, which i'm *really* pleased with, arrived at work and spent the morning focused.

arguing with my building manager: that awkward feeling when you're talking to someone who obviously didn't think about what they just said, it was incredibly stupid and you don't want to sound condescending because you need them to do you a favour :/

i booked a hotel room for gd and i for the cfsw! very cool, we got a king-sized bed for the same price as a regular discounted room :D

work: there's little more worrying than when shit SHOULDN'T work and it does. i began a big refactor, and i wrote down "constants fudging" but i don't remember why.

i rushed out in a hurry to meet gd and get to godmother's for dinner, which was absolutely delicious (in particular the veggie burgers). yang was there and we were all cool for the first time in a while. we went on a yeh! mission afterwards, then returned home to construct shelving that gd bought for our bathroom.

it's unbelievable how much difference it makes not having all sorts of shit around the sink.

---tuesday:

light rls during the night and too much internet time were followed by a garbage and dishes morning.

on my way into the building i ran into a friend of newk'd's who's just started working for my company.

the morning was filled with javascript closure binding issues - completely mental - and was *really* bad timing for me to install a version of our software that has a major bug in it that made testing my changes a nightmare.

it's amazing to me that when i walk out looking for privacy and quiet in order to be interviewed for a future job, i'm blasted by trucks, bells, horns and wind. the thing about the interview is that it's a personal connection that i tapped back in february and it took until now to score the phone call; i felt obligated to hear these guys out. and it's a really, really interesting opportunity, so i explained that i'm committed for the next while and that i'll be in touch when i'm ready.

it's nice to have options!

airplane suggested that i listen to the make comics podcast, and the first episode i downloaded basically told me not to work with the kind of people that i've been working with :S

the afternoon was spent dealing with closure binding and ogg vorbis oddities, and once i was done i *needed* kickboxing. the class was a killer, primarily because i was working through breathing difficulties (allergy season?), it was humid and i was dizzy and i ended up hurting my hand because my new gloves aren't good for pads and bags. so i need to sell those, now, and buy bag gloves. i'm not happy with that at all :(

badger and i continued our argument over israel / gaza, and the jolly moroccan joined in. it took a while for me to realize that he wasn't referring to israel's actions as criminal, rather it's existence. so that was the end of arguing with him. as far as i'm concerned, even though a lasting peace in the middle east is impossible, we can still ease the palestinian suffering. and i believe that israel's the only player that can do that, and that it should.

badger and i went on a loblaws mission, i was harassed by spiders (one in the car climbing down to my lap, and a couple on the way home). i'm not a fan of spiders.

[continued...]

not so much resting or relaxing - part iv

[... continued]

i stopped at la panthère verte on my way to meet the slam team, there was a long line all the way to the door and the woman in front of me took more than five minutes to place her damned order - was she high? or just stupid?

it was almost too hot and humid for poetry, but we had a productive evening and i was pleased to receive very positive feedback on my two new pieces! (cattle farming and role models)

afterwards i came home, hid myself away for the equivalent of meditation, jumped in the shower where i almost crapped myself when gd unwittingly recreated the famous scene from psycho. afterwards we had a short discussion about naivety and innocence regarding reading people, during which i finally managed to express myself properly on the subject and gd now understands that i'm not as blindly trusting as the impression i managed to give her.

these are important things.

...

another late night when i was already tired.

---tuesday:

tuesday is our new garbage day, which is less convenient than mondays. i updated the ads for subletting my apartment and even paid to bump one of them up. i just tried to do that again but i don't see the options any more. ui fails are so pathetically lame.

it was an all-good morning in spite of a few fails, like dropping a container of toothpicks and using cold water while a shower was in progress :P

on my way into work i stopped by the supermarket next door to ask them to bring in commensal meals. the cashier who called the manager was super awkward and between that and the otherwise stifling heat i ended up sweating profusely while the manager "sir"ed me and agreed to place an order. boy, was i glad to get outside!

tuesday was vacation management day; i've obtained clearance from the company and bought our tickets to the cfsw. hooray!

odd things about working with porn: sitting in a boardroom meeting and watching a presentation of new software with a video of a woman giving a blowjob playing on the giant screen.

i spent the first hour of my lunch hour organizing things with the collective and going out to buy lunch; the second hour eating the lunch and playing another case solved while waiting for the power to come back on. at least the microwaves were operational, even if all our computers went down. i'm not sure i agree with the priorities, but it's not really my problem.

there were achievements made during the afternoon but by 5pm i had sore eyes and desperately needed a nap room.

at 7pm i went to kickboxing for a really tough class. not only did i handle well, but our coach tweaked our kicks and they've significantly improved! also, my legs are definitely tougher after the last few weeks of abuse. i'm pleased :)

when badger arrived we argued about what's going on in israel - the argument was unpleasant but short, but someone else in the same room overheard what we were saying and stormed out in a huff. oops :$

i returned home to find gd not feeling well. i had commensal chilli for dinner and was halfway through when i realized that the 13g listed on the container is per serving, and there're *four* servings in each container. oh! i'm sure i was covered, then. who only eats a single serving, in that case?!

laundry, bed. not as late, but i had to be up early in the morning...

---wednesday:

oh, 5.30am, how i've missed you! and the pinched nerve that i hadn't felt on tuesday.

the osteopath hour was interesting, but i walked out of there with my nerve still pinching which wasn't what i expected. having said that, i walked out having learned that for years i've been walking with pathetically bad posture. it doesn't *look* like bad posture, but my lower abs are so underused that i compensate with my upper body and my neck is compensating for my upper back. so now that i'm aware of this i've spent the past few days walking around with my pelvis thrust forward and my shoulders back, and aside from feeling self-conscious about my "strut" my lower back pain's gone and my neck's relaxed.

huh.

i have exercises i'm supposed to be doing, but yesterday was the first time i actually had a moment to attempt them. i've gotta make this a habit...

...

i found heaven at 7.30am in a smelly gas station restroom.

as i walked out of the medical facility i felt a slight pressure in my bladder, and by the time i'd crossed the road i was having a full-scale peemergency. it's like the manipulations she did on me forced a system purge - i can't tell you how grateful i was for that gas station!

...

i was hoping to rest before work but there was no time. i needed to set up for "epost" for my paychecks and their forms are so frustrating that i ended up late for work.

suck.

it was a long day, i was mostly focused, and i was dead tired by the end of it. i was running almost exclusively on coffee fumes. i had some calls to make when i arrived home, and that was when i realized that my iphone's microphone was totally buggered :(

dinner was delicious, we watched the boondocks and i fell into a deep, deep sleep.

[continued...]

thursday already? part wednesday night

holy crap, i'm gonna be due a paycheck in a moment. it's just past midnight and i'm risking a late night just to post this, but it's looking to be another busy weekend and this is the only real quiet time i have...

---monday:

i suffered from rls and generally not resting enough. i woke up to chilly not-summer weather threatening rain and was frustrated by my hoodie going missing. for some reason it was an aerosmith morning.

an hour or so spent with big junior taught me that i need to be careful with him: he's the gatekeeper for the system i've been assigned to fix and he's really sensitive... smart guy, nice guy, but inexperienced, lazy in the wrong way and a little averse to change.

on my way to lunch i had another think about my middle east solution.

i got stuck with the stupid woman at the supermarket, who mumbled something to me so i had to take my other headphone out:
"that's mars," she said, pointing to my fruit fucker shirt.
"it's an orange, actually."
"no, mars is much more interesting."
...
"an orange ball, maybe, but not an orange."

*facepalm*

the next weird thing was one of my co-workers giving me a "gift" of an image of one of our porn service's girls wearing cat ears. that was a weird gift, and i tried to politely decline and [failed]. at least a couple of the others jumped in to the rescue.

pet peeve: relying on a specific build of something that's used in production and not knowing why nor how to go about building it? that's dangerous. that was my motivation to uncover the whole story of ffmpeg and libav in all its politically pathetic glory. what followed was two days of writing a build script that works, and learning a couple of really cool script tricks that resulted in something i was proud to commit to the team's tools repo ^_^

the rain outside was demotivating but i trained strong in spite of my desire to just go home. on my way out of the gym i realized i'd forgotten my headphones at work... which is really not a problem, my office is on the way to the metro :D

as i left the metro, aerosmith - walk this way came on and i couldn't not sing joyfully and add a bit of a spring to my step.

dinner was awesome in spite of a misunderstanding about a couple of disparate things i'd told gd about work and my co-workers. it's weird working with pornography. it's less weird than i'd imagined, but big junior told me a story about a creepy guy who used to be in the team and the very same day some odd guy from the company tried to friend me on facebook :S

we started watching expendables in anticipation of the third installment coming out. gd hadn't seen it, neither of us have seen the second. it's time.

---yesterday:

a gorgeous morning to chase the miserable one, but rendered uncomfortable by all the antisemitism in our feeds. i tried finishing my chapbook, but the software i tried to use (bookwright) has a minimum of twenty pages. seriously?!

after a month of silence, i disconnected ff from the project and sent her an email explaining why. i just received a message apologizing, responded by making it absolutely clear what the problem is and invited her to rejoin *IF* she thinks that'll change. hopefully that won't be the last i hear from her.

during the day i had a meeting with the team lead for an overview of the system, and i discussed my pet peeve about naming things "new" and "old". he proceeded to demonstrate that i was totally right and he and the manager have agreed to address my concerns.

my team-mates have explained to me why physically visiting a bank teller is an unnecessary waste of time, but that was only after i complained about my bank needing a lunch hour express teller. after withdrawing the cash and paying my rent for august i was left with no time for lunch and i rushed back to a long, boring meeting :(
at least it's the last of the "this is what these meetings will look like" and they'll be quicker and more relevant from now on...

an afternoon of script wizarding whizzed by and i suddenly developed a headache just before kickboxing. that sucked. but in spite of that, and in spite of badger abandoning me to work with the sweet, slow and weak older guy, i managed to spend my hour and a half training hard and really pushed myself. badger and i were talking afterwards and ended up going shopping together so i could show her what to get now that she and her partner are considering a plant-based diet. the talk moved on to politics; we never really got into details about the middle east before and she now has as solid an understanding as anyone's going to get.

when i got home gd told me that she's spoken to nystire who'd told her to tell me about the game. i had a good laugh at that, because i'm not playing but it's rather special considering his usual bashfulness and the fact that he and gd don't know each other from a bar of soap. nice try, mate. nice try.

we finished watching expendables, which i already knew was terrific, then went straight to bed.

[to be continued...]

sweaty in sheep's clothing

örmagörd.

it's soooooo hot. and we only have one fan, it's in the bedroom. i'm standing here with the window and door open to the night air and i'm sweating bullets.

after a great weekend, i went into work today and found myself very comfortable indeed. it's a great environment, the conditions are excellent and my team members? very smart, and very chilled. and even if they weren't i would be making the best of it, but i hope my first impression lasts. the funny thing is that one of the reasons i'm so at home is because it's just like the army: a big company with more bureaucracy than employees. very dilbert, without a very NOT-pointy-haired boss. very i-can-handle-this-shit.

---friday:

i performed my duties while gd watched half of american: the bill hicks story. we sat down to eat, all excited about watching the amazing spiderman 2 on crackle, but it was just the trailer. it should have said TRAILER, then. bastards!

so we watched bad boys instead, learning the ads by heart as they each repeat three or four times every twenty minutes.

---saturday:

waking up was tough, and "ghetto shaving" without water wasn't actually as bad as i thought it'd be. the craigslist guy delayed my exit because he woke up too late to meet at our appointed time and i had shit to do. after making me wait for ages the day before, he should have been too embarrassed to screw that up :/

i made my appointment just on time, the consultation was brief and not particularly enlightening. my neck was too tanned to get started with the treatment, though, so i made an appointment for three weeks' time and i'm supposed to be exceedingly careful about staying out of the sun. i've had more exposure with less protection in the two days since than in a long time, which is kinda embarrassing...

i picked up a coffee bodum to replace gd's nail-you-in-the-hand one, met the craigslist dude for a smooth handover and slumped on the couch for more ffix. that damned grotto is mean! but after a few attempts (and, i'm ashamed to admit, a quick glance at a walkthrough) i got through to the boss and he's waiting for me for next time.

i left home late to meet vfmp and his boyfriend, and arrived with about three minutes to spare - talk about cutting it close. half an hour later we were in the suburbs (west island), enjoying a beautiful afternoon with badger and co in the swimming pool, stuffing ourselves on a great vegan barbeque and then losing myself in the jacuzzi. i've got to get us a hot tub. i felt like i'd returned to the womb, i don't remember when last i relaxed so perfectly! high on a hot tub, i was.

badger's dogs (boxers) are wonderful, one of her friends broke the ice by farting loudly as she joined us poolside (she's pregnant), and all around everyone was nice and interesting. the music was good too, it turns out that badger's into good trance :)

i was disappointed when gd called to say she couldn't make it, but not surprised. her timing was excellent, though, because the guys were just leaving so we all went together. gd and i had an evening of bad boys and massages. not quite as good as a jacuzzi, but certainly nothing to complain about.

---yesterday:

there was a scary freak-out at 1am caused by a leg cramp, followed by deep dreaming and stunningly restful sleep. newk'd and his girlfriend came over for haircuts and i taught them both the basics of tekken, and it was gratifying to see them both get it and to see her beat him in a close round :D

we left for yoga in the park, and our exit was plagued by not-a-comedy of errors. our spirits and tensions bobbed up and down until we got to the park, where we met up with horseman and gd's best friend and did some really hard yoga that had at least two of us feeling all bubbly and good afterwards!

i tried really hard to avoid the sun but even my oversized hat couldn't protect me; we made our way to see great friends of gd's who i hadn't met yet and our first stop was a new vegan place that had just closed for the afternoon. fortunately they have a car, so we drove over to aux vivres which is always full of win.

the couple is fascinating, he's a writer and she's a producer / director / artist, and he's also slowly becoming a well-respected self-taught physicist. we all talked for hours, my brain was really flexing and being stretched and it was so nice to feel like it was mutual!

after they left, gd made delicious noodles, we watched about half of men in black 3 and then quickly passed out.

---today:

no snooze for you! gd was having none of it. i crawled out of bed, did the dishes and made breakfast, then climbed into an argument of gd's because a "friend" of hers kept attacking her for having a different view of what's happening in the middle east. i'd post here what i wrote but i've already said that i'm done for now, though it's a relief that instead of fueling the fire what i wrote managed to get her to back off.

...

dressing like a grown-up sucks, but i'm very fond of gd's drawing for the day which is of me dressed up as a capital letter.

[revenge exit difficulty]

i left a little later than i'd planned, and was horrified to see 18 minutes till the next metro written on the display! fortunately they'd gotten it wrong and just before i gave up and rushed off to find a cab the next one entered the station. i could NOT be late for my first day.

inside the metro and out, i was sweaty in my sheep's clothing. in spite of that, i felt good and confident with the orientation. i would spend the rest of the day setting up my dev station and learning the ropes. one of those ropes was finding lunch, and after a couple of failed searches i ended up walking all the way to my old supermarket. we have no freezers, so i'll have to pick up a frozen meal every day and the walk takes a good chunk of my lunch hour...

it's a nice excuse to walk outside, but there was a lot of sun and i was unprotected :(
and for some reason my liver was hurting me. i suspect dehydration. at least once i got back i learned where the coffee and purified water are located.

i returned sweaty after my walk and then proceeded to nuke my lunch; when i opened it and the steam hit my face things got even worse! once i got back upstairs, i made a point of going around my team and inspecting them for dress code. tomorrow, i'm going in wearing shorts and a t-shirt :)

i walked out feeling like i'd have to be a complete asshole to be fired. i mean, i'm competent and professional, they're easy-going people and i only have to do my job. which looks interesting and challenging enough.

...

i stopped by walmart to finally pick up sunscreen, tried and failed to find a good sports bag and saw a sign that said $7 for badminton sets. gd wants to play, so i thought "how convenient!", picked up a set and went to pay. i was not pleasantly surprised when the bill came to $10 more than i was expecting, and after waiting for a manager for ages and then dragging him back to the source of the trouble we discovered that some asshole had thrown a completely different (much higher quality) badminton set in the wrong rack.

jolly good :/

...

i came home, went for a good run and sat down to a feast gd had prepared. neither of us had the energy to watch much, having to fold laundry and make the bed was a bit of a buzz-kill and i really shouldn't be drinking beers in the middle of the week. i had shit to do.

but at least i've written this, right?

a response to BDS propaganda

i've lost the link, but badger asked me to respond to a video that falsely summarizes the history of the arab-israeli conflict.

no, not really, this is a perfect example of the BDS movement's propaganda. the sad reality is that israel isn't interested in controlling more land, israel is interested in maintaining security. there are a couple of contentious settlements - and most israelis want them evacuated as soon as possible - but the ongoing fighting and terrorism make it practically impossible for this to be dealt with.

until the british ended their mandate the jews and arabs, while not living precisely harmonious, were allied in their desire to get rid of them and actually worked together. the jews have been proposing a two-state solution since the late 1920's, but the rest of the arab world (the notion of "palestinians" is a recent invention) rejected a jewish state and attacked when independence was declared, and what we're seeing now is still the independence war that never truly ended. when i say there were no palestinians, what i mean is that there were egyptians and there were jordanians, but when they fled during the war their countries refused to shelter them, which is why they're refugees now.

the sad truth is that the palestinians are pawns in the greater arab world's fight against the existence of israel, they have been oppressed and weaponized essentially by their own people. israel is the only entity in the region that's actually interested in their welfare - israel has been looking to make peace since its inception - but they keep having to fight the terrorists who use the palestinian people both as weapons (suicide bombers) and as human shields. from the palestinian perspective, it's very hard to negotiate with people who you've been brought up to hate and have been taught are the reason your lives suck, and from the israeli point of view it's very hard to negotiate with people who are constantly attacking you because they're not at liberty to do anything else.

the territories in question have been under exclusive control of terrorist organizations for many years now, and so no matter how many innocent, long-suffering palestinians there may be who have had it with fighting and just want to get on with their lives they have no control over their situation. hamas has brutalized their population in the name of the war on israel and currently all the casualties you're seeing are caused by people walking knowingly to the deaths as the israelis warn about impending strikes. even the egyptians, who HATE israel and israelis, are sick and tired of seeing what hamas is doing to the region and to the palestinians.

regarding "second class citizens", israel is no angel but the arabs living under israel's authority are the only arabs in the entire middle east to enjoy western rights just like everyone else. the right of return is an issue only insofar as it's a barrier to negotiation. that part's complicated and ugly.
israel has arab members of parliament and a vocal and visible arab population.

all of the fighting, the BDS movement as a whole and the terrible media bias against israel does little to help the palestinians. the longer everyone sides with terrorism the longer this story is going to be drawn out. the israelis have been sick of it for decades, and there're definitely a lot of palestinians who just want these horrors to end. but first the hate and the attacks have to stop. when things are quiet and israel's not on the defensive, they'll address the settlements because nobody wants them, they're a huge burden on the country.

the palestinians have recently created a new hashtag #FreeGazafromHamas and everyone who's hating on israel right now, everyone falling for "pallywood" using images from syria and even stills from hollywood movies to shock and enrage and inspire antisemitism, everyone calling israel an aggressor is only making their situation and their bondage worse. when the palestinians are given an opportunity to decide their own fate instead of being directed by countries like iran, the chances for peace will shoot up infinitely.

gearing up - part iii

[... continued]

i made some progress with the web development, i'm trying to focus on real issues instead of dealing with broken elements (the latest jquery and chrome don't want to play together). i listened to french podcasts on my way to the gym, where kickboxing was good and i was feeling much stronger in spite of some nausea that i suspect is caused by spine misalignment. badger's back, which is cool, and it looks like we might start group running on the weekends :)

...

intending to celebrate all the good news, i went to p.m. after training. gd ran really late for a variety of reasons, and by the time she arrived i was too hungry and tired to be jumping up and down with excitement. instead we drank too much sake, ate too much brilliant food and then walked slowly home, where she oversaw my stretching before bed and then my shambling into it. i was utterly exhausted.

friday:

to the point where i felt dead on my feet the first time i woke up. aside from political concerns over what's happening right now in the middle east, i was disturbed by a message from pulse asking after my health and inviting me to join her yoga class tomorrow. i haven't responded, and i don't know if i'll respond. burning bridges is something i always try not to do, but she needs to know that being nice to me and unpleasant to gd is unacceptable, and that our relationship (as friends) has come to an end.

zen and martial arts before snowboarding - part i

what a crazy weekend! i'm gonna try to fit this post into as short a time as possible so that i can get something done today. it was supposed to be a study day...

---friday:

after four hours of sleep i popped awake seconds before my alarm sounded. i quickly prepared and left for the mountain. i finished reviewing the book on the metro, then spent half an hour in the bus terminal in a zombie state. the hour or so sleeping on the bus wasn't bad at all, but the few minutes i spent trying to use the toilet on board were a nightmare: the bus driver was being really aggressive on the accelerator and brakes, and at one point i found myself forced against the soap dispenser for about ten or twenty seconds and by the time gravity switched to me holding my weight with the top of my head pressed to the opposite wall my back had been soaked.

the words that popped into my head were "die in a fire", which i immediately regretted as the bastard dying in a fire might include everyone else on his bus...

---what a wonderful friday morning! the weather was excellent, the conditions excellent and there were barely any people on the slopes. i enjoyed a groovy morning but my legs were stiff and sore from thursday night's kickboxing. i only tried hitting the moguls once, because i was too tired to handle them properly and switching was an effort... but it didn't matter, i was having great high-speed fun without all that :)

my cafeteria french had improved slightly, lunch was delicious. i tried to study some discrete maths but experienced a profound exhaustion that saw me slipping in and out of consciousness in the warm sunlight streaming through the windows. eventually i felt ready to go out again and had a perfect afternoon! all the time on the slopes was amazing and even riding up the lifts was awesome, it felt like chilling on a bench in the summer with a beautiful view. very cool.

when i returned for a quick break i found the area outside packed with people sunning themselves and decided to join them. it was so warm that i lay back on one of the chairs stripped down to my t-shirt, and when i closed my eyes i felt like i was lying on a beach in twenty degree weather with a cool breeze; boy, was i ever surprised to look at my phone and find it telling me that it was only one degree! the first week of spring in canada meme is totally accurate :P

i would've stayed, but after about ten minutes i remembered that i didn't have any sunscreen and i didn't really want to get burned.

the last runs were crazy, i kept choosing paths that kept me totally high on adrenaline and i had a few fun wipe-outs. on my last ski lift ride i tried responding to the guy next to me in french but he pitied me and switched to english... he was intrigued that i'm interested in aerospace, told me the name of the company he works for and told me to get my resume to him. nice!!!

...

après ski after a long day: beer and maths don't mix. instead, i spent the hour relaxing cross-eyed or playing another crime solved, then enjoyed a chilled walk through the now-melting snow to the bus. the sunset was perfect, the day had been glorious ^_^

i could neither sleep nor concentrate on the make-out bus - i was surrounded by cute couples - so i spent it staring out the window and thinking lightly.

big dinner. tom segura: completely normal is hysterical, and highly recommended. jasper redd: jazz talk not so much. fp came over and we watched three episodes of firefly. it was awesome.

---yesterday:

i was exhausted and a bit sore from the day's exercise, so i probably shouldn't have invested more time in another crime solved before going to bed.

after a week of horrid sinus issues i'd finally had a clear few days; i was *not* impressed to suddenly find myself stuffy again. i medicated before going to sleep, and woke up with my nose and throat both disgustingly uncomfortable again. i medicated some more, and since then i've been kinda okay...

fp picked me up in the late morning and we drove through to morin heights. the driving conditions were awful, and the long drive was mostly a bit awkward. one would expect that after a week or two of dating that that wouldn't be the case. just saying.

morin heights is cool, but a bit crowded on saturdays. their facilities aren't as good as saint sauveur's, either. their lifts suck, they're aggressive and frustrating and it's far too easy to end up on a stranger's lap :$
having said that, there was more snow there than i've seen all winter and some of the slopes are really, really great! overall, we had a fantastic time and the only thing that detracted from that was us talking so much during a break that we missed out on quite a few runs. not that that wasn't enjoyable, though, so it was really all good :)

...

i barely had time to shower and eat before skipping out again to go to badger's album launch. i got in just in time for the first song, after which i wondered into the depths of club soda to see if anyone would recognize me (it was dark). after a while vfmp and his boyfriend rocked up, just as the second song began.
seeing badger singing on stage was very strange; in my head she's the woman who's teaching me how to fight, and the juxtaposition is jarring.
we were enjoying badger's groovy lounge (very 80's), and suddenly there were a bunch of people close to the stage who started dancing. vfmp's boyfriend dragged the two of us down to join them and i spent the rest of the performance feeling very conspicuous indeed.

anyway, it was a nice vibe and a fun evening. we didn't stay for the afterparty as it was a bit too "lesbian disco" (disco's cool, but the songs the dj was playing really weren't our cup of tea) so we said our hi's and goodbyes before missioning to aux vivres for a delicious and entertaining end to the evening. i was completely bombed by the time we got on the metro to head home, and by the time i arrived i simply shambled into bed.

[continued...]

stories

well. i was on such a high coming back from south africa, but i'm on a total downer now... not the best state to be dating in, i'd better get re-motivated before tomorrow evening :P

my backstop - returning to cape town - seems more unreasonable the further away i physically get from there. the economy is crumbling, crime is perpetually rising but at the same time it's a place i'm happy to be, it's a magical place where people are mostly free even if you do have to work considerably harder in order to enjoy that freedom.

my alternative - returning to israel - would be spiritual suicide but at least i'd have better options. or would i? what's worth my general discomfort with the ever-present war and my subjection to a military state that i feel has betrayed me?

yet here i am, living in montreal, living off a bank account that's an hourglass with the coins slowly dropping down into the base. this country's not interested in me, regardless of the value i can bring; if i learn french then any potential employer would only have to wait two months for me, if i look elsewhere it could be up to six months and in that time i would be unable to leave the country... or work...

i'm standing beside my grave, as i have been for many years, eulogizing. was i the man who got his shit together to change his life and live out his dreams in north america? or was i the loser who returned after a year and a half with his tail between his legs to an angry existence amongst barbarians*? or to a happier, more relaxed world with a potential future to match zimbabwe? i don't want my children to be refugees.

and it's all here. right now. it's me writing my story, but severely limited by resources and bureaucracy that my personal ideology cannot and will not fathom.

* that's not a political statement, i'm not referring to how israelis behave in war. that's one sphere that they're too decent for their own good. which is ironic.

---yesterday:

just before sparring last night i spoke to my toronto cousin who informed me that i need to "pull my finger out my ass"; on the one hand he's kinda right, on the other, well, i'm not in full control of my situation. perhaps i just need to believe i am? anyway, between that and my earlier test failure i wasn't in the greatest of moods when i hit the gym.

the first round of sparring wasn't particularly interesting. the second, though, was very exciting! i was working with the beast, and was in such good control of the ring that i deliberately maneuvered myself onto the ropes in order to test out the new technique i'd learned from badger. and i pulled it off! and she'd just walked in and witnessed it :D

there's nothing quite like the elation of stepping into the ring and getting a new trick right!

in the third round, after watching the dude i was up against sparring at full power and beating the crap out of the guy, i was a little more cautious. and by cautious, i mean scared. which is a terrible thing, because instead of moving in and keeping my eyes focused on his chest, i stepped back and blinked at *just* the wrong time. fortunately for me the right that landed was a setup for the left, because even with no power everything went black, i heard a loud crack from my jaw and felt my feet lift. the sensation of being airborne for a moment before landing in a heap was not a pleasant one. i was so shocked by what had happened that i had to roll out under the bottom rope and it took a while to shake it off.

there's nothing quite like being informed by someone's fist that you're doing something very, very wrong.

i feel really bad for bailing on the guy, and even worse because *he* feels so bad because he thought it was his fault :(
i wasn't hurt, just shocked and embarrassed, and i'm very glad that he's agreed to drill with me during the week because even the ten minutes of practicing facing the beast's punches afterwards couldn't be the same as working with the guy who put me down.

...

i felt stupid for the rest of the evening. stupid, and angry with myself.

---today:

i began the day by hitting the gym without any caffeine (there's pride in that statement!). i stalked there determined to do something about the previous night's situation, but there was nobody to work with so for an hour or so i drilled footwork on the punching bags instead. i even did some weights, which i'd almost regret in the evening when i had to carry heavy shopping home :P

i paid a visit to godmother, who warned me not to let things get me down, after which i headed to the french conversation meetup. there was a crazy wind blowing today, although it wasn't as cold as it's been the past few days, and it's been snowing a lot. on the way downtown i was waiting for the bus when a car drove past and covered a few of us with slush: i was not amused, especially as this was after we'd had to wait for a second bus because the first was full :(

the meetup wasn't bad, though my listening skills... not only was it hard for me, but i kept getting distracted. it's hard to keep focus when you're not getting the full details.

i had a great falafel at la panthère verte, came home, shopped, then sat down in front of downton abbey with chips and chocolate. the series is so ridiculously good! i've just finished the first season, and already i'm disappointed that netflix doesn't have the third yet.

not so hot

awww, man. i was invited to take a test for a company i'd love to work for; they're using this really cool online tool called interview zen whereby they can watch you code as if in real-time. no pressure. the questions they asked were interesting but not mind-bending, but it's been so long since i've actually done any serious coding that combined with the time pressure i simply crashed and burned. i made an effort to demonstrate my intentions and i really hope that my methodical approach and attitude to problem solving shines through, but i'm not expecting an enthusiastic response.

what a bummer :(

but my curiosity has been piqued and i just solved the final part (that i didn't get around to) for myself. i really should be playing more.

---
scrapper's been in touch and he sent me some of the texts he's been working on - it's really good! but i kinda expected that.

it felt like i woke up, had breakfast and then suddenly it was afternoon already. time is seriously on a mission this week - i can't believe it's friday already!

i'm very awkward about sending emails about work to people i barely know asking for favours that i'm neither certain they can perform nor whether i actually need them to.

i braved the extreme cold to go to the distant supermarket yesterday, primarily to pick up turkish coffee. which, inexplicably, they no longer seem to stock. nooooooo!!!

on the way i ate the very last subway falafel they're planning on stocking at the local branch. nooooooo!!!

after the perfect nap - and by perfect i mean not only that i enjoyed it, but that i woke up without an alarm and felt very, very good for a long while afterwards - i chatted with k-twang who had exciting news and rushed out to the closer supermarket to pick up two items i'd forgotten earlier.
i then met with badger at the gym and we did four drills, three of which changed my game and left me with a *lot* of practicing to do. moving forward and backward while striking, responding to crowding and fighting off the ropes or out of the corner is bloody exhilarating!

i watched a fair amount of television while eating and then went to bed. today was relaxed until i did the test... and now it feels like the day is blown. or the week. ah, shit.

intellectual fists

it's not just that it's cold, it's that 10 degrees of the cold are brought by wind. it's not just the temperature that's a problem, it's that you're actively being hit in the face with it.

i'm very glad my mask is so effective. and just as glad that its orange goes beautifully with my neon green hoodie!

---during the past two days, horseman has established a routine of french conversational immersion and personal tutoring followed by tekken. the yells and curses alternate between english and french, it's all rather amusing.

weather-wise, there's something special about it being so cold that if you forget to plug in your headphones and pocket your player before stepping outside the cable freezes too fast to be able to do anything with it.

health-wise, my leg's stiff and sore but has daily improved noticeably. my boxing coach called me out last night in front of the whole gym, telling me i'm an idiot for complaining about my ankle and then going to kickboxing; not only was i being careful and avoiding left kicks, but an orthopedist i consulted years ago told me that it's important to keep things moving while healing. badger agreed, and she's apparently an expert. unfortunately, while my leg, arms and jaw are all feeling much better my lower back's still got two painful, hard protrusions. if it doesn't chill out soon i'm going to have to assume it's serious...

training-wise, things are awesome. after all the boxing coach's abuse since i've been back, i walked into class today and was given a new student to take care of. just like i did on monday after training and on tuesday with vfmp, i instructed her in the basics - the coach was both impressed and grateful, he had nothing but praise for me and i've gone from "that f***ing guy" to "my man" in two days. i wonder if this'll last?

as for my own training, the kickboxing was probably more relaxed than would do me good but the boxing tonight was hardcore: i made up for teaching in lieu of doing drills by multiplying my efforts on the punching bag; considering how tough it was for me to finish the class i'm actually amazed that i'm able to lift my arms to type right now! afterwards i treated myself to my favourite chinese dinner to celebrate :)

speaking of which - my post-training appetite seems normalized. i don't think i should worry about that anymore. i do need to worry more about removing my piercings before class, though, i'm lucky we didn't do impact tonight...

...

i was so incredibly tired last night and this morning, but now it's 3.30am after a long day and i'm doing fine. what?!
granted, i am excited about the nutrition course that began today. after getting through a fair amount of the first week's material i can heartily recommend it.
to EVERYONE!
there are no obligations, you really should register and take a peek before deciding that you're not into it or that you don't have the time.

---odds and ends:

friends (ze germans and study mates) don't force friends to commit crimes under pain of death and then hold them hostage while they throw big parties. that's my conclusion from a dream i woke up from this morning.

i tried to activate my pc plus supermarket card today, and after multiple fails on their website i installed the app. which failed once before i restarted it and finally sorted it out. if you're trying to establish brand loyalty, shouldn't you do some qa testing first? just sayin'.

the laser hair removal consultation: seems legit, but the cheap price turns out to be per session, not all-inclusive :(

newk'd and i met for hot drinks this evening during which we shared some inspirational game ideas. i ordered a soup and the bread had ants, which didn't really bother us so i was actually surprised when they refused to let us pay for anything. oh, and i discovered while there that white tea, for me, is wrong for me for all the reasons it's good for others: no caffeine, reduces blood pressure? no, thanks.

---stephen fry, word hero. gosh, that man is awesome.

a totalwaste christmas story

it all started a few weeks ago with the beast's backfist. concerned that i had suffered a concussion, i cancelled a sparring session with one of the guys who's training for a fight in january.

after waiting a couple of weeks so as not to compound the injury, i was going to resume sparring but i kept getting injured in different ways. two weeks ago the coach began making fun of me. in the meanwhile, badger and the jolly moroccan worked with me to improve my game, drilling me on all the basics.

as it's my last weekend, i really wanted to make as much use of the facilities as possible. yesterday i went in and met another boxing coach, an old-school 71 year-old rocky-style instructor and after we got to talking he took a shine to me: he gave me some really interesting advice and then cornered me through a sparring session with the kid who always hits too hard. and i did much better than the last time!

after snowboarding today i went to the gym for a final hour. the guy i'd originally stood up was on duty, and he and a few others were preparing to train late with our regular (abusive) coach. after some bag work (hurt my wrist a little, didn't tell anyone) and some shadowboxing to practice yesterday's coach's advice, i waited to spar. eventually i gave up, misunderstanding the coach and thinking that he didn't want me sparring so i took off my wraps and prepared to watch a bit before going home.

but he did want me to spar! so i got warmed up again, bouncing, shadowboxing and popping my shoulders in time to the awesome old-school hip-hop that was playing while observing the first pair sparring. then it was our turn, me and the guy i'd stood up. we put vaseline on our faces (i've now finally had that explained to me), geared up and got in the ring.

first round: it took me half the round to realize that i was facing a southpaw and that the reason he kept cracking me with his left was because i was stepping into it. so much for strategy! as soon as i fixed that everything changed.

i went three rounds with the guy. i demonstrated ring control, and when he did corner me i gave him nothing. i listened to what the coach was saying - to both of us - and adjusted accordingly. i didn't back up, i didn't let up, even though by the third round i could barely lift my arms; i actually spent a large percentage of the time making contact with his head and gut, surprising him with my new-found ability to close distance while striking and finally using jabs and straights defensively. as tired as i was, during the intervals i kept moving in time with the music, which was good for my breathing and my spirit. by the end of the third round, i wasn't the one with the bloodied nose and feeling disorientated.

i don't feel good about those last two, because i really like the guy. but afterwards we spent five minutes together analyzing everything and advising each other, and i think i've helped him with his fight preparation.

but here's the thing: the coach. the coach was stunned. he had the biggest smile on his face, and his pride filled me with pride.

"i take back everything i said about you, man. you proved me wrong tonight."
he repeated that a few times. and each time, it felt like christmas.

the ghost of christmas future

tuesday:

on tuesday night i tried watching hajime no ippo; it's nice that so much anime is available for free, but the quality of the experience is so bad that when i couldn't find the second part of episode one after two minutes i just gave up. besides, my "standing desk" made my legs tired and i was kinda irritated by the slow eating thing. it's still happening, i don't know what the deal is.

---yesterday:

i tried not to let my phone snooze, and instead what i ended up doing was snoozing manually and by longer stretches. i think it might be defeatist. either way, the last half hour of sleep was crucial, and absolutely heavenly!

i met up with vfmp and i spent our striking time coaching him on stance and basic boxing. i enjoy coaching. a lot. and i totally empathize with the frustration of having to unlearn bad habits... for the ground half vfmp taught me escape techniques, which have come in handy a lot sooner than i expected! but there was so much cool stuff he showed me and it's so hard to keep it all together :(

after we were done i punched myself out of breath on the bags, and was so warmed up when i left that i needed neither tuque nor gloves and it was -7 :)

the big realization of the morning: it's the last week until christmas! and i'm not ready to leave yet! i haven't snowboarded enough! i haven't got everything i need!

after i got home my french partner informed me that out of desperation (he's having trouble finding work) he's cancelling our meetings for a while. that's a bummer, i'm going to need another partner... speaking of people bailing on me, i was expecting the cleaning lady all day and she never came. later when i asked she was embarrassed to admit that she'd completely forgotten, so she'll be in after i've left. it does make it more appropriate timing for leaving her a christmas gift, and it means that i'll definitely get home to a clean apartment :)

it was a day of gaming and psy trance. i've begun the original fallout, which happily isn't far behind its sequel :)

i headed to hertz to check out their rental options, and walked from the plamondon station. after walking through such a jewish area, with its yeshiva and schools and lots of hebrew lettering everywhere, i almost bumped into somebody and had to swallow an "excuse me" in hebrew :P

so the man at the rental agency had bad news for me, the company raises its prices for the holidays beginning this weekend. but boy, what an interesting man! he's a muslim indian with the most interestingly healthy views on life, the universe and everything, he's well educated and well-travelled, and has some fascinating stories to tell about the different communities living in montreal. not least of which was hearing his skinny on the jewish communities, and hearing him on the phone asking if his customer wanted to daven first and then come pick up the car amused me no end.

we talked for a long time, getting along like a house on fire and neither of us with anything much better to do. eventually, when i left, he offered to try to help me out if possible. nice!

as i walked into the metro saiko-pod tron came on and put a big smile on my face and a bounce in my step. the mood has remained. i don't want it to go away ^_^

when i got home i used the generic car rental site to reserve a car from alamo, deciding to abuse their no-risk cancellation policy by finding out later whether or not the car has enough space for our snow gear.

i spoke to aota for a bit, and was informed that megaman's last day was nigh. her description of the current state of things makes it sounds like a good time to ask for my job back. it's merely a question of tact...

i headed out to boxing, the short jog in the snow had me out of breath but then i managed my longest set ever with the jump rope! my arms hurt a little but boy, was i feeling good about myself :)
i finally understand shadowboxing, and that i've been doing it wrong all this time. when you begin it's about technique, but once you have that down (more or less) it becomes about visualizing your opponent and their moves. that's tough to learn!
it was a good class and badger and i followed it up with excitingly good drills. aside from cutting my toe on something (a callous, though, so it's tender but it didn't bleed) and a bit of pain in my ankle from checking, my knuckles were hurting on each punch - it seems like i've worn through the padding on my gloves. they're really good gloves, so it's kinda surprising (and very disappointing) that they're wearing out after eight months even if i have been using them every weekday and for all the activities. i'm going have to see if there's some kind of warranty, but i doubt it.

the bruise has finally begun to go down! it's left an interesting outline and a sensitive and almost egg-sized lump has been revealed. hmmm.

i watched the men who stare at goats to re-rate it because i'd missed some of it the first time. i didn't criticize it very well, then - it's a good movie, but it has a definitive slant whereas the book smells of journalistic integrity. they also focus on so little in order to provide narrative that you don't get to see any of the really crazy and incredible stuff!

oh, that reminds me - correction: what we saw on monday night was an advanced screening, not a premiere. did they care if we applauded or not?

---today:

some more manual mega-snoozing.
*sigh*
pg contacted me to remind me that the israeli tax authority is after me - which is completely ridiculous. so i know what i'll be doing at stupid o' clock on sunday morning :(

i picked up my ski jacket and am pleased to report that they did a fantastic job!

my body felt oddly stiff and i walked a lot slower to the metro than i'd have liked. i found alamo without too much trouble and the woman behind the counter was a pleasure to deal with; she tells me that if we can't find a car on saturday that fits our equipment we can cancel with no charge. nice!

i was on my way to eat when i walked past the cinema. and the hobbit was playing. and i thought to myself "why fight the inevitable?"
and i bought a ticket. and had a delicious tofu lunch (i love it when fast food gets tofu right!). and i watched the movie.

*SPOILER ALERT* [highlight the following text to read it]
peter jackson has turned one of everyone's favourite books into a disney ride. it was marvelously entertaining, but beneath it all lay the disquieting sensation of over-commercialization. it's not as bad as the matrix trilogy, of which i couldn't bear to watch the third installment: i'll watch the third the hobbit. but i'm going to re-read the book, too, and i know i'll enjoy the book more.
*SPOILER ALERT*

i wanted to buy a gift card into which i'm going to insert money for the cleaning lady. gift cards are stupidly expensive. like, cost-of-a-meal expensive [fellow south africans: R100]. like, it will constitute a sixth of the total cost of the gift i'm giving. and it's so hard to find an appropriate one! the gift card holders are just tacky.

i got home and spent an hour or so on the phone checking auto-insurance, mobile / internet bills and planning saturday's rental. everything was a breeze!

i spoke to aota, who i'm going to meet tomorrow - she had to fire newk'd today. even though we know it's good for him in the long run, it's not a nice thing for her of all people to have to do.

jiu-jitsu; i didn't totally suck! i joined the beast and a large, powerful spanish guy, and i managed to get most of the steps right ^_^
i didn't do amazingly well with the kickboxing afterwards, but i finished feeling really good: my breathing was *much* better. i hope this is me recovering!

i almost went out for dinner, then remembered that i'd eaten out for lunch and i had perfectly good frozen meals in the freezer. so i did that instead.

online dating:

1) a positive interaction seems to have gone sour after i was asked to elaborate on the current political situation in south africa and i complied. i should save the diatribes for face-to-face encounters, i think.

2) the site is supposed to show me local matches only, not long distance! i'm currently enthusiastically engaging an attractive woman who lives in los angeles. and she's talking about one of us visiting the other after i invited her out without realizing she's far away...

ego and elbow

after posting yesterday, i ate an entire bag of salt and pepper chips and a fair share of a tub of hummus. this is only interesting because it came to my attention on my way to the gym that i hadn't finished digesting them...
i napped a bit too; as i've repeated many a time, there's no sleep as sweet as that when you need to get up :P

lesson 1: wear a cup for jiu-jitsu. the guy i partnered with weighs about ten pounds more than me and the drill we were doing involved leveraging a knee on the groin.

we rolled afterwards. i felt like was being rolled into a pretzel.

lesson 2: badger was late for our drill session, but the jolly moroccan was only too happy to oblige. we worked hands and feet (badger was a little angry when she arrived and saw that, i'm supposed to be only working hands) and he was so quick to catch my kicks and put me on the floor that i became as hesitant to throw as i was scared of being hit... but eventually the things he was telling me started getting through and it became more of a game; at which point i started relaxing a bit. badger on the side screaming at me to stop backing up was really helpful, apparently i did great when i stopped that shit.

which is hard for me, because a decade of taekwondo has taught me to back the hell up.

each time i ended up on the floor dealt a bit of a blow to my ego, and it happened a lot. badger actually warned him to chill a bit before i get demotivated... fortunately, i was in full learning mode so that only real ego bruising was my not getting things quickly enough.

lesson 3: badger. i wanna get to the end of the damned montage sequence already! everything she's teaching me is so basic and so important, and even though i'm getting them while we drill i need to be getting them when we're not drilling too!

lesson 4: the damage to my left tricep from boxing the night before and the snowboarding bruise on my elbow were exacerbated by the end of our training. i was forced to stop if i was to entertain any notion of sparring this afternoon, which i definitely don't want to miss! our boxing instructor has been goading me non-stop and it's becoming a point of pride thing. i mean, i won't go if i'm too damaged, but every time i skip it's another week of him being justified in making fun of me :P

the hot bath was good. the icepack on my ridiculously large elbow bruise was good. i actually had an appetite for once, though instead of making salad i put together a microwave meal and toast... i watched a few episodes of once upon a time.... okay, the writing's not up to first season standards at all but it's still fun to watch and i've heard that season three gets better, so i'm enjoying it mindlessly.

...

oh gods, i slept so deeply, so well and so late today!

there's about twenty hours left of the gog.com fallout series giveaway, you might want to see to that. i was upset at first because i already owned one and so couldn't "re-purchase" it, but then i realized that i could simply deselect the one i had :)

thank you, facebook: someone told me i should check out faster than light, someone else mentioned that it was a part of a recent humble bundle, and then someone else sent me a redemption code for it. win!

...

i asked wire where he's been 'cause we haven't seen him in a while, and the answer was he's been out of work and unable to gather the cash for a course he needs if he wants to work this season. i've decided to loan him the cash for the course, to see him back on his feet. he's an honest laborer and a good guy, i feel he deserves a chance. so now i'm off to deliver.

---
i remember how shocked i was when i saw bent because the only story of the holocaust i'd ever really thought about was that of the jews... israel has erected a memorial for the gays killed in the holocaust, and i find that quite touching!

...

speaking of memorials, the embarrassing incident with the signer at the mandela memorial? here's an article on it that's as pertinent as it is amusing.

fuzzy yet solid

it's been quite a week so far! my eyesight's been a little fuzzy lately.

---tuesday:

i woke up multiple times during the night, and overall was just feeling uncomfortable. i spent an inordinate amount of time on facebook (and youtube) following the two events of the day: the mandela memorial, and the israeli media taking up arms against gary yourofsky.

1.
a) the behaviour of the crowd was shameful. while the focus on mandela brings zuma's failings into sharp relief, there is a time and a place for everything and the memorial was neither of those.
b) obama's speech was amazing.
c) the sign-language interpreter debacle: it takes either immense cajones or unfathomable stupidity to do something like that. wow.
my sister informs me that "wackhead" interviewed him. i'd love to hear how that went!

2.
gary yourofsky is a complete nutter, he's an asshole and he's full of shit. it's always bothered me that he's invited to speak in universities and other such institutions. having said that, though, a lot of what he has to say is entirely valid and his comparison of the meat, dairy and poultry industries to the holocaust is sadly quite appropriate and there's no need for him to apologize to the jewish people. the "animal holocaust" is even worse if you think about it, simply because the animals are being bred and it's not just a couple of generations being wiped out as a "once off". the animals are born into suffering and suffer their entire lives. killing animals for food is not wrong, but the suffering most definitely is.
the media's attempts to discredit him are absolutely pathetic, puerile and shameful.

i returned to the repair shop at jarry with my ski jacket to get the zip repaired, was quoted $12 and happily left it with them. i used the mission to determine whether it's faster to switch lines twice or to simply stay on the orange; overall, the latter is more efficient but the former is less crowded. so now i know.

tuesday was a day of laundry, naps, family, and french. then i went to the gym for kickboxing. i was still feeling sore from the weekend, and holding the thai pads for badger meant that my bruised forearm got cracked non-stop for about twenty minutes. however! in spite of that, when it was my turn to throw, our instructor was amazed by how much i've improved after a couple of drill sessions with her and was so enthusiastic he made us all work until our arms failed.

i can't tell you how pleased and proud i am; and a little scared now because i can't slide back :)

at the beginning of the lesson i was talking about my snowboard hurts - there were four of us in the class, one a much older dude. "snowboarding, eh?" he said and pulled his shirt over his shoulder. he has a giant protrusion near his clavicle caused by tearing a ligament in a snowboarding accident many years ago. i took one look at that and decided that a little stiffness didn't really man anything :P

the boxing instructor overheard me talking to badger on our way out the gym... "always excuses, huh? always excuses."
i explained to him that this time it just hurts, that won't stop me from sparring :P

i hurriedly showered and rushed to la panthère verte, but was disappointed to find them closed! so i walked as quickly as i safely could to aux vivres, which was going strong: they even made me the cutest little icepack so i could tend to my bruises while i ate! the service was excellent, the food was delicious, it was all good. horseman joined me, we went from there to the open mic night. on the way we decided that we totally agree on his friend's lyrics... i'm not sure if i'm interested in putting my work on the disc he's working on. and he doesn't appreciate criticism.

the evening was fun and the guinness went down well, but too soon it was last call for the metro time and so we left.

---yesterday:

it was not the best of nights. kinda like the night before. i then started the day trying to convert the list of books i'm trying to sell through pg into a format that could be copy / pasted into facebook. between openoffice and facebook the issues were bad enough, everything took forever and eventually, when i was *almost* done, windows surprise restarted for some upgrades leaving me screaming and cursing helplessly at the screen. even though my recent saves were corrupted when my system finally came back online, i'd already done everything enough times that i got the job sorted out fairly soon afterwards.

of course, nobody seems to be interested now that i've finally put the list up :(

...

i returned to the repair shop on jarry to hear that they hadn't fixed the zip because their repair would likely fail within a few days - i really do appreciate their honesty! i was instructed to try a dry-cleaner, and later my local would give me a reasonable quote so that's done. unfortunately my jacket won't be ready until tuesday, and i kinda need one if i want to hit the slopes...

the speakers on mont royal were playing some seriously creepy sounds. i wondered if they hadn't mixed up the tapes and played carols on halloween or something.

i made up for the previous night's miss by eating lunch at la panthère verte, which wasn't bad but wasn't particularly exciting either. after taking my jacket to the dry cleaner i went to sit in the starbucks for an hour and worked on my comic script. i got some fun stuff done, then headed to the gym.

more and more i'm finding the muay thai classes too heavy on the cardio and too light on the technique. it's good to be in a class that forces me to workout properly, but i kind feel like it's carrying too much weight... for example, we literally just ran around in circles for about twenty five minutes yesterday. ugh.

in both classes, i really tried not to get hit in the head too much. unfortunately, that was an integral part of both of them yesterday; during boxing, one kid was jabbing as hard as he would have if we'd been wearing headgear, and i was so pissed off afterwards that i sat stewing until i was sweating. i want to be good for friday's sparring, dammit! and hitting that hard wasn't the point of the exercise :@

during impact i was being hit pretty hard, and inexplicably relaxed just as my partner landed a liver shot - not cool, brain, not cool at all :(

afterwards i sat stretching my very hurt arm (i'd hit the punching bag hard and at a bad angle) and talking to the guy who'd hit me too hard and the iron-haired women who trains everything (she was chaining muay thai, mma sparring and two boxing classes, that's pretty hardcore). one of the guy's parents is israeli, and after questioning my veganism and my isaraeli experience he blurted: "you're very interesting!"

okay, then. i said.

the woman is a mystery to me: i can't tell how old she is (apparently she's my age, but that's from somebody else) and while she's cute and i think she likes me but i'm not sure if i'm interested...

when the pain in my arm got so bad that i was worried i might faint, i packed up and went home. i had a hot bath and hit the supermarket, then found myself staring at my hands while making dinner when i realized that i was almost enjoying myself. that doesn't happen ever. i ate slowly, but enjoyed it a lot more than usual (when i can't eat after training). after dinner i went to bed.

...

redbull's the art of flight documentary is nice until the avalanche sequence, from that point on it's just sensory overload. i can't tell if liked it.

---today:

i woke up with a sore throat, which feels fine now, after a decent night's sleep. except for the dream i woke up from, which involved my father forcing me to participate in some horrible occult ritual. i don't know if i thwarted his plans on purpose or by incompetence.

...

linguistic revelation of the day: "aktuali" in hebrew comes from french or german, not english!

not the same thing at all, now i have to strike that word off my list of "israeli-isms" that bother me.

...

i ran into the crazy-flexible girl from the gym on the metro and we talked until i had to get off. she has a really interesting history as the child of a brazilian diplomat, and her career plan was so wise that it took me by surprise to hear it coming from one so young. i'm well impressed :)

cafe depot was out of coffee again, this is ridiculous. i managed to make the alternative last longer this time, though, so that's good - the conversation was good, ended too quickly, and i had chinese for lunch before returning home to do laundry, rest and post. now? now some relaxation and more french before training.

rocked out - part ii

[...continued]

so... sparring with the beast. firstly, i was in trouble for arriving fifteen minutes late. secondly, i hadn't had time to get any caffeine in my system beforehand. thirdly, i was hardly recovered from the day before and finally, i'm just not at his level. his thirty-pound muscle-weight advantage was irrelevant.

the positive? i lasted four rounds with him, and even though it didn't help me overcome all the other obstacles i've definitely fixed a lot of elements of my game: my movement's better, i'm flinching less and i don't let my opponent stand in front of me for a second without throwing something at him.

the negative? my chin's still too high because i back away every time i'm hit, and in addition to the many strikes he landed (as opposed to my many strikes that didn't land) he also set me up beautifully so that in order to avoid one of his punches i slipped right into a spinning backfist.

two things about that backfist: the first is that - and i only learned this afterwards - it's entirely inappropriate and disrespectful to use that technique in sparring, especially with someone a lower level than you. the second? while he didn't put power into it, even his soft strikes are rough and i added to it with my momentum. there's not much that compares to the experience of seeing the gym spinning around you and hearing "ooooh! there's the knockout!" from the corner...

i'm not sure if my eyes rolled, i do know that i came back swinging and i'm happy with myself for that. the slight headache i've had since (it doesn't hurt at rest, at least) is on the other side from the big punch, so if i do have a concussion it's possible that it's from all the other shots he hit me with...

... later on i went to jiu-jitsu but the class was even (why does working in three's bother me?) and i was late (there's always something that holds me back a few minutes, every time :S ) so i decided to try taking the kickboxing lesson easy. i worked with the slow guy but even so my body was working so hard that i sweat as much as if it was high summer :/

i had a long talk about what happened with our kickboxing instructor, badger and a couple of others, and they've all convinced me that a) i shouldn't spar with the beast until i've made up the gap and b) that i need to rest my body a little and avoid any further head shots for a week or two. i was scheduled to spar with the guy from boxing and the boxing instructor was not impressed with me for bailing :(

---i spent the evening watching ufc fights and once upon a time, it was a real struggle to get up to make dinner and even more of a struggle to eat it. i was exhausted and sore and everything felt... foggy...

---friday:

i watched the bbc documentary on sir gawain and the green knight: i'm pretty sure his is the translation i read three years ago. out loud, to myself. because it's bloody brilliant. the documentary was nice, but not particularly inspirational. at least i finally used an icepack on my damaged left knee and shin (minor compared to everything else :P).

i went to bed around 2.45 and slept a little better. i did sleep late, though, which i obviously needed quite badly. i've spent the day resting and not doing much of value. now, to correct for that, i'm off to watch a foreign film (hah! it's israeli) with vfmp and his boyfriend at the gay film festival. and the birthday wishes have just begun flowing in... oh, boy...

---the harshest news of the day: ian watkins, the singer in one of my favourite bands, lostprophets, has admitted to the charges against him. the charges are completely insane, there's more detail over here. be warned, it's pretty disturbing stuff.

art may be separate from the artist, but now i'll be trying not to have an aneurysm every time i hear one of their songs. idwtlotpa :(

...

in related news, bikers against child abuse is very cool indeed.

rocked out - part i

right, i'm entirely unmotivated to do anything at the moment. including post. or read. or watch something. it might be related to the headache and exhaustion i've been nursing that may or may not be indications that i received a minor concussion yesterday during sparring.

---monday night:

i finally tried out the stanley parable demo, which is as clever as it is uninteresting to me. it has left me with absolutely no idea what the game is conceptually and so i'm uninterested in spending cash to find out. if it's that hard to present, why not simply make it free and then charge in-game to continue after a certain amount of gameplay?

things got exceptionally meta when my battery died as i approached the "exit the demo" area for the second time, when i plugged in my computer and continued it stop-started for a bit and then locked up. i can't tell if that's a bug or intentional, which i guess sums up the experience quite well.

---it was late enough for me to call my apartment insurance company, but they weren't answering their phones and they don't call back internationally. i sent a desperate email, which got a response about two days later to say that they'd already cancelled the insurance. thanks for letting me know!

now to repeat the experience for my life insurance :(
[oooh! great idea! FML-insurance :) ]

---tuesday:

i was unable to wake up, even for the dentist when i was already in his chair. he explained to me, looking very awkward and uncomfortable the entire time, that the army filling appears to have caused a crack and that any pressure on the connected cusp is transferred to the nerve that's already walled in by (calcium?). he need to bring out the giant model tooth and my x-rays before i kind-of got what he was saying. as a last-ditch effort to avoid root canal surgery, he tried drilling through the cusp to add a buffer filling. i can't say that i understand the logic but he's the dentist, so i gave the okay as i didn't want to uproot the entire nerve.

it only took about two days to be absolutely certain that that didn't work, and now i'm scheduled for the root canal on monday. i'm looking forward to it like... like root canal surgery. i'm now on antibiotics because it's supposed to reduce the nerve inflammation and make the procedure less traumatic, which means that the celebratory weekend (my birthday and sagirl visiting) will not include any drinking :(

and to think that the cause for all this was to correct a minor irritation at not being able to floss properly.

fuck.

---i went home and rested the anesthetic off, spoke to aota (who sounded better than she had on the weekend) and made sure that i'll still be covered for the dental work, then called up yang's contact to verify that he'd received my resume. i got through to his answering machine, and pushed through my discomfort to leave an introductory message. fortunately i received a positive response later on, so that's cool.

i headed downtown for my french chat session, which was good, and then came home to get ready for training. i had time for a quick chat with my mother, who informed me that in the face of his mother's passing my brother's managed to be a complete asshole to his siblings *again*.

*sigh*

---it's SNOWTIME! (said like a mangalore)
properly snowing ^_^

---i was surprised to arrive at the gym to find too many shoes at the entrance, but then i walked in on gsp teaching the class and it turned out i was the only person who didn't know we had a surprise guest instructor coming in. getting personal advice from the dude was way cooler than awkwardly getting out of his way when he's training :P

badger and i were partnered for impact training, which was fun, and we followed that up with excellent sparring drills. i was hurting and tired by the time i got home and i actually needed a cup of tea just to have the energy to make dinner. eating it took forever. during that forever i met a cute girl online and we exchanged numbers, but i think my lack of interest in sms conversations offended her somehow because since saying good night she hasn't answered the phone or responded...

once upon a time's incessantly surprising stories and twists on fairy tales is captivating and wonderful. i'm thoroughly enjoying it!

---wednesday:

i slept really badly, my body was sore and i was overheating. after two nights of that i'm thinking i need to invest in a thinner duvet, last night i struggled with the heat and when i finally got up to crack the window at -10 degrees outside i discovered that it was still open from a few nights before :S

...

waking up in the morning, all three times, was really tough. i trudged through the slush to the gym to meet vfmp to drill jiu-jitsu and sparring, which was pretty good. then i noticed a cute blonde girl sitting on the edge of the octagon, and when we were done - *ahem*, when *i* was done because i couldn't breathe anymore - we walked past and i realized that she was the first girl i sent a message to when i began with online dating! i knew she was into kickboxing, but what are the chances of her training in the same gym as me for the past seven months without our paths crossing?

my gods, she's even sexier in real life. she never responded to that email, though, and i wouldn't dream of harassing her during training. i probably wouldn't have anything to say even if she wasn't.

anyway, i finished my workout with punching bags, weights and the elliptical machine. the last of those is MEAN, man, it's been two days and my legs are still really hurting. i thought i was taking it easy by only doing ten minutes, but i guess ramping up the level to 17 (out of 20) on my first attempt was a bit ambitious.

...

i was soooo tired when i got home, i forced myself to eat lunch and then went back downtown for a good coffee chat. then i went back to the gym.

...

muay thai? i was powered out but we had a good drilling session.
boxing? my body was feeling weak and by the end i was very glad that the beast didn't rock up for our scheduled sparring. i assured the guy i was partnered with that i'd happily spar with him the following evening.

the shower when i got home ended too quickly! i tend to forget that in addition to it being a nice apartment, reasonably priced, close to metro and close to the gym, one of the biggest reasons to put up with the occasional shit is the hot massage-power shower at the end of a cold day of high exertion :)

quick chugging of vitamins, minerals and protein and i hurried out to the pub to meet kgb. i was soooo tired, i love the pub but i had no appetite for the greasy fries i ordered and was surprised when i realized that i'd finished my pint of guinness. it amused me that the one thing that really got my attention was arguing the nature of reality, the technical stuff we'd met to discuss was interesting but kgb didn't have an actual plan, just a super-high-level ideal with nothing to implement and i had to sell my idea because he didn't really get it at first.

i returned home hawking up lung butter and worrying about swollen glands: i don't think it was my glands anymore, i now think it was just very tender muscles :P

i had to do the dishes just to make a protein shake and i was feeling so very lazy. that feeling hasn't gone away yet :P
it was around then that i knew for certain that my tooth was definitely screwed up.

---thursday:

another sweaty night, but better. i got up early and stepped out into a gorgeous, uplifting bright blue and white -9 degrees. i had my first coffee while just listening and trying to understand my study partner's french.

i visited the dentist to make the appointment and was sent off to the pharmacy to begin taking the antibiotics immediately. gods, i hate taking antibiotics and i hate the fact that i've had to take so many courses the last couple of years :(

[continued...]

first french finale - part i

oh, wow. it's sunday night. i should be studying for the end-of-course french exam tomorrow, but i haven't posted since thursday and i have shit to get off my chest.

---thursday:

at 2.30am i finally sent in my homework assignment. in spite of that i woke up feeling good. i totally zoned out on the metro. we began the french lesson with a great guided conversation. my french partner was very confused and went to the coffee shop to meet me twice even though i'd told him three separate times that we weren't going to meet that day.

---yang got a contact for me to send my resume to, but something particularly stupid that he said really bothered me and triggered interview anxiety: that was when i realized that the rage that i didn't feel when i was fired was simply suppressed. this makes the specialist's suggestion that my laboured breathing might be psychological even more plausible as it's the same kind of laboured breathing that i remember from my mini-anxiety attacks in 2010. if that's the case, it's a completely unintelligible message from my body :(

one of the things that's been really bothering me is that i haven't been able to accept that people like megaman exist. afterwards, when i spoke to my mother she suggested narcissistic personality disorder and "these qualities are usually defenses against a deep feeling of inferiority and of being unloved" does a good job of settling the issue for me. when i spoke to aota this afternoon i learned that his inadequacies have been thoroughly exposed since i left, and that darn has become an office joke to boot.

told you so.

---i hit the health store near vendome. i learned that the vega antibiotic scare really isn't anything to be concerned about and that clif builder max is not available for canadians :( (the assistant was more disappointed to find that out that i was)

the beast had left me a long voicemail message to remind me to go spar, and i was sorry to arrive with only twenty minutes of his session left on the clock. apparently this was fine by him, but the coach got an emergency phone call and the beast had to take him to the hospital so i worked a bit on the bags, did some weights and went home.

kgb called me up and asked me if i was familiar with the leap. i admitted that i own one and haven't taken it out of the box... he proceeded to pitch an idea so remarkably similar to mine that we're gonna meet up on wednesday and figure out how to proceed :D

i passed out, and as usual half-woke to my alarm with no energy to go to the gym. i forced myself up, chugged an energy drink and would have been horrified if i'd missed such an important session! (erm, and knew what i'd missed, of course)

although i walked in to the kickboxing class with a suddenly sore back - i don't know what the hell caused it, and it's still bugging me - i not only had a great class, but when entering the octagon afterwards to spar with the beast it was with badger sitting in a corner and coaching us. me, mostly. the beast was only too happy to oblige and our kickboxing instructor came out from the beginner's class every once in a while to observe and throw comments.

it was an extremely humbling experience, but i pushed through and i learned a lot. i walked out of the ring feeling uplifted.

i did dinner math and headed downtown for a tofu meal to precede the spaghetti i was going to prepare when i returned home. after the meal, though, i was totally stuffed and everything slowed down while my body dealt with the excess of deliciousness that i'd consumed. it was all i could do to get home and fall into bed.

---friday:

i sent off my resume to yang's contact (why does that take so long each time?) and left for class without having done the homework. i was in a dark mood because my back was hurting me, the weather was raining miserably and i was deep into tool - triad when suddenly a man on the pavement stepped into my path, forcing me to stop. i gave him a dark look and he began to speak to me; i was dimly aware that his comrade was standing on the edge of my blind-spot and my defenses shot up in spite of this being canada. it was just a homeless guy trying to bum change, but either way i was already so fired up that it took all my energy just to speak relatively politely as i forced him (with my body language) to step aside so that i could continue.

it was in that mood that i received news that my older siblings' mother had passed away that morning.
*rubs temples*
i shouldn't be proud of myself that i remembered to send my brother condolences even though our relationship is up to shit, but i am. i think that speaks volumes.

---my french must be improving, i'm unwittingly mixing in hebrew. the look of incomprehension on the teacher's face was priceless :P

i went for a quick haircut and then hit the chinese place again for lunch. it's the first time i've seen their lunch menu and i was excited to get corn soup with my veggie plate. i love corn soup!

my fortune cookie told me "you will soon get a promotion". uh, huh.

my back was feeling slightly better and i headed to walmart to pick up laces (for my mr. price '99 specials) and a new laundry basket. one of the workers in the shoe section made a two-foot throw of something into a trash can and his co-worker sarcastically told him how amazed she was... i walked up having overheard and said "hey, man, i saw it from over there and it was really impressive!"
i can't tell if he appreciated my joke or if he was offended :P

i left walmart in an evil mood. i stalked home and watched some of ufc 145: the schaub vs rothwell fight. each replay of schaub vs the invisible fighter was more disturbing than the last.

---ugh. it's bad enough forgetting to air out my wraps every once in a while, but two days in a row?? this time i didn't have any other laundry to do... what made matters worse is my backup "adult sized" everlast wraps are too damned short. i have learned an important lesson about bringing cash to the gym...

there was a sense of the weekend in the gym on friday afternoon, and i was actually sorry i had plans for saturday night because the boxing instructor finally saw fit to invite me to watch fights with him and his crew... i was so proud when he was so pleased to see me sparring!

my first two rounds were against a really tall brazilian guy who taught me what it feels like to get hit at that perfect spot on the jaw so that your mouthguard pops out - i managed to catch it with my teeth and suck it back in, but i was quite shocked that it had happened and surprised that it didn't actually hurt!

the third round was against a southpaw who was so much better than me that he toyed with me the entire time. i did land a couple of punches, but i took so many that i one point i almost jumped out of the ring in frustration. the fourth was against one of the guys i'm friendly with and i was surprised when he connected with a fairly powerful (for him) shot. i remembered what badger had said the day before about respect, that whether you want to or not you need to increase your power if you want your opponent to chill out or he'll disrespect you. even though i was worried that things would escalate, i hit him harder and he did back down.

people, man. people.

...

the boxing class afterwards was fun and tough. a couple of us had a long debate about ufc scoring, and i feel pretty strongly that if a ufc fight goes the distance then it should be counted as a draw. points don't mean a damned thing! if it was real life, one of the combatants would at some point have to call it quits: "hey, dude, we'll have to continue this another time - i have better shit to do". to count points is to completely devalue a fighter's ability to take a beating and make a comeback.

---i hurried made pasta - perfectly! - and wolfed it down before heading to vfmp's for carcassonne. we repeated the previous debate about draws and i discovered the angry nerd in me when we talked about iron man 3.

[continued...]