bumpy ride

 wednesday:

waking up early and sending mr smear off to school, still broken from lack of sleep

arriving to the office really early (but still with time pressure) to discover that my installation station had been stripped of all its cabling (amongst other things), and it would take about an hour and a half to get that sorted out.

at least the installation itself went relatively smoothly.

one of the aussies gave me and another aussie's cousin (he's helping out) a ride to the test site, where the story of the afternoon was hours of set up for very little payoff - not only were there loads of hardware issues, but the issue that i'd resolved by midnight the previous night turned out to be not fully solved, and it cost another three hours to understand what was wrong and resolve it.

and then cursor started bugging out, because we use devcontainers and microsoft (fuckers!) are now preventing vscode clones from using their extensions.

i don't know at this point how much of the solution to the problem is an actual solution to the problem, or a workaround for ms (and docker) fuckery.

anyway. at least i figured out the cause of one of the other issues we had (aws syncing syncs impossibly slowly if you have debug logs being printed)

anyway.

after wrestling with a bad router/switch setup, and waiting 90's download times for an OS installation, we were finally able to leave one of the machines in a state where i should have been able to continue the installation remotely, and we hopped in the car and rode back to tel aviv.

i arrived home around 11pm. signed in to attempt to finish the deployment, and discover that the machine was offline.

very frustrated, i went to bed.

yesterday:

i feel like the whole city woke up feeling more rested. mr smear went off to school again, i took care of a bunch of things that had been piling up over the course of the week, went past the clinic to get authorization for gd's procedure next week, and continued on to the coffee shop where astérix gladiateur was waiting to be picked up.

of course, i had to pick up a coffee and nurse it all the way to the office.

it was an exciting day in the office. the two most significant pieces of work i did were recording an online demo from a contractor (who threw up a little in his mouth halfway through 🤢), and taking a couple of guys with IT / devops experience into the warehouse and beginning to get a workshop set up there.

another highlight (in addition to the workshop, as opposed to the not-highlight of the demo) was a department weekly with lots of enthusiastic new faces, and a happy hour making a new convert both regarding shakespeare's sonnets and my vision for our software solution.

after putting mr smear to bed, i had a call with my boss; i suspected that i was going to be answering for having been a bit miserable the previous day, but it turned out to be a discussion about how to go about doing a deployment we'd had to defer and arguing over when to do it. we ended up settling on tomorrow night, so 🤞

today:

i guess i slept alright last night, at least better than has become usual. i was avoiding screens before mr smear left for school, and reading a canticle for leibowitz, or trying to at any rate. some of it i've really enjoyed, but the last quarter is proving to be a slog and with everything else going on i've decided to give it up.

while going through that, i realized that even if i'm not on screens i'm still focused very close to my head, so i decided to walk mr smear to school in order to give my own eyes an opportunity to "stretch". surprisingly, gd had had a similar idea simultaneously so we all walked together, which aside from an  encounter with a brazenly irresponsible dog owner was an enjoyable experience.

i had some important stuff to take care of, which generated a fight with gd that put more shitty vibes on the morning, but eventually worked through it and we hit the mall to do some grocery shopping and upgrade my phone.

it turns out the issue with my (old) phone has been that it's only got 4GB of memory, and with my "new" phone (the display unit, i got a significant discount for that) it's clear why it was so unresponsive; my baseline usage with nothing open is 4.6GB, and that's after uninstalling and disabling every app i don't need on a daily basis...

i'm a little concerned about the battery usage, but i'll give it a few days before i decide whether to complain or not.

on the way out of the mall, an older guy came out of the retirement home and lit up a cigarette while still inside the mall. i asked him to please not do that, to which he made stupid excuses and then started calling me a quibbler (not sure if the translation is good). so i called him a jerk, but he continued to act like a jerk and although i succeeded in walking away, it only takes one asshole to ruin a good day, and i'd already had some shitty experiences, and he occupied more brainspace than he had right to for the next while.

it was hot (summer's here) and i was sweaty and tired by the time we got home, but i had to rush off to pick up mr smear and help carry home all the books from his locker. i spent the next while napping on the couch listening to the audiobook of the lion, the witch and the wardrobe, waking up to gd reading asterix to mr smear.

i spent the remainder of the afternoon and most of the evening getting the new phone set up, while listening to insane AI covers like system of a crown and neon maiden.

we went to our friends for friday night dinner, which was a really pleasant evening, both for the adults and the kids.

it's now almost 1am, mr smear has just gone to bed and i'm about to jump in the shower and probably also go to bed.

quitting smoking the smart way

[this is actually a repost from june 2010]

the easy way? crap. or at least, for myself and most of the people i know: crap. we don't care about the fear, and we most certainly don't care about the health issues. how do i know this? because we wouldn't have started otherwise.

here we go with the basics: nicotine increases serotonin secretion, so when you're a smoker who's not smoking, you're less happy. or not happy at all.
what tends to happen is that a smoker will witness something that he would have enjoyed otherwise, and to compensate has a cigarette.

this way, the cigarettes become event based. first cup of coffee? cigarette. finishing a great meal? cigarette. beautiful sunset? cigarette. sex? cigarette. even those events that produce serotonin without the use of nicotine are improved by it, so experiencing the same without feels less... satisfying.

additionally, we don't actually enjoy smoking. what we enjoy is the immediate rush.

to make matters worse, the more-than-casual smoker has developed something really insidious: the internal loop that counts down to the next cigarette. whatever you're doing, you're simultaneously thinking of the next smoke break. the good news is that you take breaks - something non-smokers need a better excuse to do, and that's healthy both mentally and physically. the bad news is that when you do eventually manage to stop smoking (an aggravating procedure that only takes about two weeks*) you have a loop that keeps counting down to... nothing.

you can't stop that countdown, so you've got to re-purpose it. i can't tell you how to do that: every person has his own way. sports, art, whatever - just don't turn to food as an answer. exercise will give you the buzz; i'm guessing almost anything interesting / challenging will do.

so that's all the rationale for "the fisher king method":

step 1. pay attention to how little your body appreciates each and every cigarette. no, that's not the taste of meat and potatoes. your lungs do not appreciate the intrusion.

step 2. make sure that you have a support system in place for when you actually quit. make a mantra of "i'm irritated because i'm quitting", because you'll find yourself horrifically aware of everyone else's faults for the two weeks - and the problem is with you. go to the gym, or set up a punching bag in your living room.

step 3. take up a sport - the more extreme the better - or art, or hobby, and go for walks in pretty places. you know - live. and assign your inner loop to whatever you've chosen. hell, if you assign your loop to reading books, you'll suddenly realize that you have tons of time for the classics; the same goes for movies. i hesitate to add cooking to the list, because that could turn into a proxy for replacing smoking with eating.

if any of those steps are a real problem, then just carry on smoking. there's no point in going through life miserable.

* it takes about that much time for your system to realize that there's no external stimulus coming, and that it'll have to take back control of the serotonin release functions.

people say i'm a dreamer

one of my dreams is to live in a world where people aren't afraid to be honest, and don't need to be afraid to tell strangers when they're infringing on their rights.

i shouldn't have to be afraid to tell someone not to smoke in a gas station, or standing next to me and my kid under a no smoking sign. or not to let their dog poop on my doorstep. the absurdity of being threatened physically on these kinds of occasions almost makes me ashamed to be ineffectually behaving in a civil manner instead of stooping to their level.

sshhhhh... he's napping

sunday 15th:

a pretty good sleep, coffee and brunch with my uncle on a perfect misty including a lovely stroll on the promenade and followed by a great walk in the green point park

invoicing, shopping, relaxing
the great washing machine failure

slowly ending the weekend with books and a little gaming

monday 16th:

Getting Stuff Done (mostly making appointments), certified copy magic (the police do it quickly for free), autumnal green, one more thing (before SARS demands biometrics), a long time leaving, washing attempt one, the bank (a bad time to whisper codes in french), noticing mr smear needed a bath, the pharmacy, a quick supermarket run, desperately hungry on the way home, dropping pringles on the way to washing attempt two, working into the night but i think i (or my network connection) irritated the woman doing the remote installation

tuesday 17th:

4am working until night terror time, exhaustion and frustration starting the day

waking up to a busy mr smear, who was turning both ways, the rush to the fascia release specialist, who happens to be our neighbour who was brought into the building by the woman who left our apartment a few months ago, who we were referred to by the chiropractor who we were referred to by the abdominal specialist; at the same time gd was advised to take up pilates days after we found a pilates physiotherapist next door when we accidentally got out on the wrong floor of a building

the raw vegan experience: family unfriendly, active-wear wearers, and although the food was delicious it was - as always - misrepresented. a slice of bread with a pile of food on top is not a sandwich

the rush to the therapist - with a quick stop to drop something off at the tax consultant and make an idiot move her car after she'd blocked off the sidewalk - an encouraging session and mr smear's first proper encounter with dogs (he loved it)

coming straight home, being woken (groggy) to let the technicians in; two days without a washing machine and it turns out it was a faulty socket, an afternoon with an inexplicably unhappy mr smear and gd's agonizing recovery

indian pickup lies enraging me

wednesday 18th:

mr smear crying a lot, but it's never clear if it's for real

meeting the bull (our landlord), a very different experience dealing directly with him, furniture shopping and praying nobody got TB, or fleas, buying a high chair
not just a landlord but an MMA man, work, getting soaked taking clothes to mom's dryer, a little GoT

thursday 19th:

big waves, a sour start to the morning, a disturbing computer issue, pre-breakfast second-hand furniture: the sacrifice of dealing with dishonest, bigoted, creepy people; the delivery (scraped floors and two missing nails from the hinges), rearranging and angry lunch and being tired and exchanging rugs and mr smear on my shoulders for the first time and more rearranging and a big shopping and mom's visit and a little work and protoplasm's visit and a little more work before crashing

friday 20th:

remembering how to stand at work, an emergency egg-run and not wanting to live anywhere else, trying to work, a pharmacy run, prepping for dinner, finding parking with my mother, a lovely friday night dinner with krybabie and co, upsetting his wife about her daughter's resemblance to his sisters, managing to get mr smear home without waking him but needing to change him on arrival

saturday 21st:

tired and busy, returning the borrowed dining room set and rushing lunch unnecessarily and late coffee at my aunt's

sunday 22nd:

a good night's sleep and a restful morning
promenade coffee and oversized sparkling water
john carpenter's cigarette burns
a successful waterfront mission, having my mom over for dinner
GoT, putting everyone to bed and preparing for customs handling on all the stuff pg's been storing for me these past few years

monday 23rd:

becoming frustrated at some ungodly hour when mr smear refused to be put in his crib; my original plan was to be awake all night but that's not looking like such a good idea until we get all our basic needs squared away

hyper emotional wedding video viewing

getting shit done (and enjoying an entertaining cup of coffee) while wait for gd's physio, finding the tailor, the closed restaurant resulting in a spar lunch

the chewbacca excitement and resulting bad-fit disappointment, the positive return experience from takealot (later cancelled), the i'm-not-giving-any-more-details-over-the-phone call from my new bank

backgammon reintroduced
woman down
a long night compiling

tuesday 24th:

not an easy night, waking up to a gd without internet access, the baby centre and baby brain, mr smear's vaccine, newport deli breakfast
therapy and loving dogs
a walk to the doctor
passing out for a quick rest then getting stuff done
getting mr smear to sleep while picking up documents from my mom
GoT and a great dinner
money delays and amusement
pleasant work, foot massage

wednesday 25th:

2am bedtime together, probably not a good idea

pampers pants: a couple of minor incidents followed by a wet bed and a soiled stroller later, we now know what we now know that plenty of other parents have already said online. pampers SUCKS. they have products with micro-beads, gels that leak, badly sized tabs, and dangerous chemicals in certain products that literally burn infants. how do they get away with this? the hot coffee thing?

early up (with difficulty), the chiropractor (though i'm almost certain the relief won't last), formally opening a new bank account

nap time, an outing for diapers but forgetting the diapers, interviewing a maid, the walk / run and return outside for forgotten diapers (again)

dinner interrupted by a major diaper leak which escalated into an unproductively traumatic night

thursday 26th:

waking up hot and bothered
a nap
bank card pickup
turning around in woodstock
lunch downstairs, a quick walk
work, feeling sick, time out from work, dinner and a walkthrough, passing out on the couch,

friday 27th:

transferring to the bed at 2am and a few difficult wakeups with mr smear

waking up with a jolly mr smear just before the maid arrived
running late to the physio again
coming home to a clean apartment and the latest data from nutritionfacts.org

mr smear's first orange, the tailor, coffee, and the fish

the salary fee: my employer chose to pay me as a service, for which paypal takes an enormous fee. according to the agent i spoke to, salaries are meant to go through as transfers to friends or family... fortunately i managed to get my new employer to redo the transfer. thanks, paypal, and thanks government controls for making this harder than it needs to be. at least i now know how effective direct visa transfers are, so next month will be better.

a nap, getting ready for shabbat dinner, and a lovely evening at my uncle's with my sister's and cousin's families

saturday 28th:

a decent night but mr smear waking up early; bringing him into our bed where he was quite chilled until i was ready to get up, when i discovered that he'd filled his diaper and for the first time in a while when it counted it hadn't leaked everywhere

a serious back spasm to start a beautiful saturday morning, a pleasant experience switching out my rentacheapie car
driving back into the mist
nap day + visiting mom
letdown stress
call-a-pizza (solid salad) and GoT and letdown and mr smear's nightmares

sunday 29th:

a rough start, but a good rescue and brunch with airplane; successful furniture shopping with my mom, a rush to prep for dinner
delicious kale soup and bagels, another diaper dis-ass-ter
GoT

monday 30th:

another day of difficulty getting up, then aggression followed by wallowing in depression
the adelphi stalker, hardware non-advice, more breastfeeding complications than a mere winged insect

where did the afternoon go? (as usual)
mom's birthday visit, sealing windows, dinner and GoT

trying to figure out what to do for work

tuesday 31st:

learning how visual studio's unit tests are simple and extremely useful debugging tools (no need to install / uninstall services and attach processes), actually being engaged and working through to 3am

(witnessing mr smear's cutest moment, turning over and ta-ta-talking in his sleep)

sleeping in a little after the maid arrived, quick shopping followed by a quick return followed by some relaxing breakfast business

the "quick" outing to the waterfront, then the cape quarter, then canal walk; finding half of what we were looking for, experiencing the full range of road insanity along the way, mom's visit, rushed dinner, mr smear's refusal to sleep and later cramps

wednesday 1st:

me&you mobile being extremely unprofessional, some more solid hours playing with visual studio unit tests, another 3am night

another busy morning (although considerably more sleep than the day before), the physio, the first preschool call, scheckter's raw - delicious, but not particularly filling and i think i offended the guy at our shared table with my derision of "juicers", back home to go out again, the doctor, the pork pill confession, money puzzles followed by a long work night

thursday 2nd:

calling it a night at 4am
no rest for the wicked, busy morning and a fun hour with the therapist: she seems to be losing it, but her dogs playing with mr smear was totally awesome
a couple of short naps that barely made a difference, an attempt to take a walk to enjoy an incredible sunset that was overtaken by concern for a man on a bench who looked like he was going to die there (but he was too mobile for the emergency services to "waste their time")

mom coming over for a quick visit, helping us put mr smear to bed and giving us a chance to eat dinner and watch GoT

a long night of hard work

friday 3rd:

3am to bed, early up to rush to the chiropractor; fantastic job, but immediately compromised by my having to hold mr smear for gd's treatment

hurrying home, urgent napping, a stressful afternoon working through what i would later realize was me getting sick, missing mom and rushing off to dinner alone, initial awkwardness, a really nice dinner, back to work

saturday 4th:

3am, sleeping like a log and waking up with a horrible sore throat and feeling utterly wasted; whatever illness i've been cooking having been brought to a boil

acupuncturist, plant (shared new parent table), the waterfront, home for a short nap, an attempt to go for a walk but the cold wind sending us to my mom's where i passed out for a while

pizza burn (jalapeño) and lots of ginger (ale)

sunday 5th:

early morning furniture shopping (win! in spite of the dodgy salesmen), baby shopping (win! in spite of the sick kids), terrible drivers and smokers are assholes (a new father under the no smoking sign in an enclosed space next to the baby city entrance and his daughter), a lovely lunch (and the quebec city couple at the table next to us), home for a breather and then off for a walk to enjoy the gorgeous afternoon, the kid's park, smoothies, bumping into the quebec city couple again, another short walk through a different, even cooler park

no energy for date night, a relaxed evening being inspired by the first half of michael moore's where to invade next and then suddenly feeling terrible again and crashing urgently

monday 6th:

mr smear having a decent night but me struggling with sinusitis, waking up to a beautiful morning soured by the realization that the asshole contractor still hasn't done anything about our floors

the good handyman, a slow morning trying to rest, reading a bit, struggling with mr smear (trying to clean an angry, writhing boy is impossible), a shopping mission ending stressed by human traffic, back home to try out our new drying setup - why does anyone use a tumble dryer?! we have a spindle and an electric clothes dryer and they're not only cheaper and better for the environment but they're a far sight more effective and convenient

some GoT and a big dinner and trying to nap before work

tuesday 7th:

but waking up at 1am unable to breathe, about half an hour trying to reset my sinuses and then three hours of work

sleeping in (thanks to the cleaning lady), the asshole contractor making us REALLY angry by leaving early after jerking us around for two weeks; getting him to come back (and being amazed that he's using sandpaper instead of a sander), heading off to the department of home affairs for a surprisingly pleasant encounter and a deep sigh of relief, truth coffee baby talk, mr smear cancelling our trip to the company gardens by passing out on the way

big shopping, settling into our apartment which is really beginning to feel like we're serious about it (even if money's still tight, we're definitely getting more comfortable and are starting to need less urgently)

gd's big dinner just for me, completing where to invade next? (warmly recommended, great documentary), and making some important advances in spite of a sinus headache

wednesday 8th:

on the whole, a pretty shitty day in spite of the lovely weather. the varnish job. mr smear's heavy allergies. the physio visit, the ultraviolet gym inspection. coming home to walk and not walking. sleeping on the floor by the crib. still not walking, the second varnish job and the "no you're not smoking cigarettes on my balcony". the walk cancelled due to sunshine and wind. mom's place stopover, rearrangement stress and mom visit (and pharmacy delivery), the relentless mr smear and an uncomfortable gd and finally getting to work on sore legs

thursday 9th:

around 3am, after realizing that i was on the verge of passing out, mr smear woke with a fever and it would take over an hour and a half to get him back to sleep

things we didn't learn in school: sealing rooms against cold and wind causes breathing problems and mold. extraction fans in bathrooms need to be running both while the bath or shower is taking place and for at least fifteen minutes after leaving the room.

scraping another section of the floor right after finally getting the damage repaired, a mansplaining note, a power nap, waiting for the contractor to fix another issue that he caused and not only did he not show, but the caretaker had the audacity to say to me that we're giving them problems - no more nice and polite, that snivelling drunkard will learn to watch his step with me

gd's first (from scratch) soup, the bananas of wrath, the apology nap, the long good night mr smear with my mom's assistance, the superette run and getting mr smear into bed, dinner and GoT

friday 10th:

working hard but not getting very far, a couple of tough wakings but sleeping *really* well

my first cardio in over ten months: not bad, much needed, difficult to remember not to push too hard

a big lunch (gd's new soup), an afternoon spent absent-mindedly working and trying to take mr smear for a walk in the cold wind and struggling with him after his nap and GoT (okay, we finally know why the world was upset about the wedding) and managing bank accounts and credit cards and worrying about forex

saturday 11th:

a good night's sleep, introducing my wife to yakko, wakko and dot on a saturday morning. my gods, the animaniacs get even better as we get older!

smoking crap

i've started thinking about smoking outside building entrances as being analogous to defecating in those same spaces. i'm almost certain that most smokers would agree that if someone would make a habit of defecating right outside their home or office entrance they would want measures to be taken to prevent such behaviour.
one difference though: second-hand smoke is carcinogenic, whereas shit can be cleaned off your shoe.

instigator one: while i agree mostly with your perspective, the one thing that always bugs me is how no one rants and raves about getting stuck in carcinogenic traffic jams. smokers contribute a fraction of the pollution but remain a constantly criticized group while here we are daily sucking so much exhaust...everyone needs an easily identified scapegoat, i guess.

no, the fact that i detest walking through clouds of smoke with a pregnant wife or a newborn child does not mean that i don't have a problem with vehicular pollution. but smokers hanging around entrances to buildings is not a necessary evil, it's a choice borne out of laziness. and i firmly believe that as many people as possible need to get off the roads. we need to reduce our consumption (going electric, going nuclear, increasing the use of public transport, sourcing local), and we need to stop consuming animal products. but also - and this does not compare with those things - we need to stop blowing smoke in other people's faces. and stop flicking cigarettes that are still lit.

instigator two: i will come crap outside your building and tell me what you prefer

the point of the analogy is that forcing people to suck in your second-hand smoke is offensive. your response to that is the equivalent of "well, if you don't like me punching you in the shoulder i'm going to kick you in the shins and see how you like that"

the other opinion: this comment reminds me of my theory about parties. everyone loves to stand in major traffic arteries like doorways and hallways regardless of the amount of space in an open area adjacent to the hallway or doorway. if people just paid attention to their surroundings things like this wouldn't happen. it's like that guy in traffic who insists on never looking at his/her rear view mirror while he is sitting in the fast lane, driving slower than the pace of traffic. my opinion, we should just have a campaign about paying attention, then we wouldn't have to be specific, it can cover all the things that annoy us people who actually pay attention to our surroundings...

absolutely! but i suspect that that's a campaign better targeted at young children, i fear that adults require more precise focus.

first snow and slamming poetry

as i begin writing this post the anaesthetic from an hour and a half of dental work is beginning to wear off and the strain from keeping my mouth wide open for most of that time is making itself felt. everything's tingly and distracting, which i feel is the perfect time to begin reporting on my weekend.

and what a weekend it was!

---friday:

shortly after posting, vfmp came by with his boyfriend and we put on the avengers, pausing only to debate whether torino mousse chocolate is vegan because while the ingredients and kosher certification proclaim it so, it still contains 7mg of cholesterol... that's a heck of a lot for something that's supposed to be plant-based :S

that didn't and wouldn't stop me, but i feel i must note that eating that chocolate in the dark saw me covered in it afterwards :$

a couple of vfmp's friends (well, i guess the couple are now my friends too) joined a bit later and the guy turned out to be able to bring some pretty solid tekken. we didn't get too many games, though, because it was decided that a mission to wendy's for their baked potatoes was in order. that *is* a good baked potato.

---saturday:

before going to bed i had a chat with my mom and was pleased to hear that my uncle who's been suffering post-op psychosis for the longest time has finally been sent home and is feeling much better. i just hope he stays on top of things.

...

vfmp was going to call me to join him at the gym in the morning, but he didn't and instead i lay in bed feeling good; calm and at peace for the longest time watching cartoons play on the backs of my eyelids. the beeps and bells and buzzes of my phone were like a knock at the window which i managed to ignore until i was ready to get up :)

on friday i'd invited fcmg to join me and newk'd and his girlfriend at the poetry slam finals, but by the time she'd decided to come with there were no more tickets available. it's not my fault that happened, but i feel bad for inviting her and getting her hopes up :(

i plucked up some courage and headed downtown to my first french meetup. it was incredibly intimidating, crazy awkward, deeply embarrassing... and ultimately far more successful than i'd expected! at first every time someone spoke to me i'd begin sweating profusely and get stuck on things i know, later a senegalese guy arrived who wanted to learn english and the help he gave me really boosted my confidence, so i'm happy to trade him for english lessons :)

i'll be doing that again.

there was supposed to be a free french documentary that we were all invited to and we walked a long way in the cold only to discover that it the movie itself wasn't free but the lecture beforehand was. hooray. i bailed and walked into subway for a quick bite; i would have ordered a foot long but i remembered that i still had the previous night's six inches in the fridge so i had that when i got home instead :P

...

someone told me that montreal appears to suit me: i tend to agree.

...

i returned home for a very short rest and protein break, then headed out for the slam finals.

i arrived at the rialto on time, it's an awesome theatre and even before they opened the doors the crowd looked groovy. newk'd and his girlfriend arrived about twenty minutes late, which gave me ample time to stand outside and enjoy the first flakes of snow of the season. it was awesome :)

it seems like canadian time and israel time aren't too far apart, as we had to wait about an hour before the night actually got started. not that we didn't keep ourselves amused during that time, but still.

---the evening opened with a native american elder speaking and singing in a mixture of french and his native tongue while beating on a drum: every word sounded like solid gold, heavy and beautiful, but what the heck was someone like me supposed to do with them?

what followed was a guest of honour with a stunning voice and perfectly performed yet pretentiously patronizing poetry, but holy words! the poetry slam itself started with a bang and managed to get progressively better. amazing!

there was a lot of incredible stuff, very little meh, but it was philosofly ftw. what he brought to the slam made this look like amateur night - i'm hoping he'll make a video of his performance or the text itself available [i just asked, he says he will].

overall the evening was utterly inspirational.

---sunday:

i got into bed knowing i'd need a good couple of hours' sleep in order to wake up early to go snowboarding. instead ninja words kept sneaking in to leave words and phrases that would keep my mind spinning all night. i felt complete for the first time in ages.

in spite of that i was up and ready to roll by 5.30am with adrenaline surging through my veins - only to discover that the "snow" weather forecast turned out to mean "slush from above". i was not impressed! i went back to bed an woke up five hours later... the current conditions and forecast were set to "snow" and that was verified by a call to saint sauveur. alright!

i finally checked out communauto and established that a car to the mountain for the day would cost about the same as the bus, so while it's cheaper for multiple travellers it would be smarter for me not to use it alone. i got my shit together and got on the bus which was practically empty. the route was longer than i'm used to but it was a comfortable ride spent reading bone and relaxing.

it was only when we hit saint jerome that i became super disappointed: it was raining. the closer we got the more it looked like the day would be a (literal) washout, and when we finally arrived at the village the driver handed me my board with a smile full of pity and the words "no snow today"... i couldn't have extended my ticket to continue to tremblant even if i'd wanted to so i was stuck there for the next three and a half hours.

having learned that the weather forecast and the updated condition reports are completely useless (and so i should only go when the temperatures are below freezing), the constant light drizzle melted my hopes for an awesome evening but i chose to walk the fifteen minutes to the mountain anyway even if only for a beer or two; i was just thinking how in spite of the unnecessary expense the little trip wasn't such a bad way to spend a sunday when i turned a corner and saw a slope not only operational but with a fair number of skiers and snowboarders on it!

i sped up a little, quickly changed when i arrived and headed out for the last runs of the evening - in spite of the weather the open route had been kept in great condition and i've now had an excellent opportunity to try out my new bindings and remind my muscles who's boss...

especially exciting was short-circuiting a massive wipeout after landing an accidental mogul launch right onto another mogul :)

not a bad day at all, i feel like i earned my aprés-ski pint ^_^

---late 90's house mixes were the perfect post-piste soundtrack! i had the biggest smile on my face on the way back to the bus. i had time to wait so i sat at mcdonald's for tea and fries (amiright?) and one of the staff and a 16 year old took an interest in my boarding... the kid was also interested in practicing his english so we traded conversation until the bus arrived. it was kinda weird giving advice to someone half my age on how to quit smoking and doing so partially in french...

both on the bus and the metro rides i was primarily occupied with my thoughts. it was quite pleasant.

i tried watching the avengers in french while i ate dinner (eh, not so helpful) and afterwards decided i was far too tired to do anything except go to bed early.

---today:

shit, i'm such an idiot! that meant that i didn't do the french homework so i had to rush it this morning.

thought for the lesson: you'd think the not-so-bright girl would at least make up for being obviously slowest in class by revising a little - it's just pathetic. is it mandatory that every language class have one of those? we had one in the classes in tel aviv...

after class i picked up the builder bars i'd ordered and tipped the rest of the boxes over on an already hard-to-reach shelf :$

i returned home, ran laundry and called bell to ask about the bill i received. not only was the guy helpful, but he also informed me that there's a promotion on and for no additional charge i can up my data plan to 2gb. alright! i'm very pleased, that means i can stop worrying about reaching the limit.

bnw called to cancel our beers this evening, which i'm kinda glad she did as my dental state wouldn't have made it much fun.

the dentist: an hour and a half? damn. i'm not sure whether i or my dentist and his assistant deserve more pity. my jaw's still tender from keeping it open for so long and at one point i couldn't stop nodding off - aside from relaxing my jaw i kept losing consciousness with a start... weird. and dangerous :(

...

i just took a break to have dinner - oh gods, the new filling isn't sitting right *and* the tooth's suddenly super-sensitive :'(

and on that note, homework. i'm ready for bed again. this feels like punishment for enjoying the weekend so thoroughly :D

---linkage:

doesn't this history of israel make you want to rush over there to be a part of the story?

...

lie detecting neck tattoos: anyone who understands the basics of lie detection knows that galvanic skin response is not an indication of a lie, it's an indication of interest or excitement. whoever wrote this piece is a moron or a troll, likewise whoever wrote that application.

the age of research is dead! long live the information age!

...

to this day is shane koyczan doing a very special spoken word piece for ted. excellent stuff.

a crocodile's enthusiasm

zomg - i got in from boxing feeling like an absolute BEAST! after expending all my energy and then some, i still felt like i could get in a ring and pull off some crazy shit. it might just be the ego boost from having proved to myself (even if nobody else was watching) that i'm totally ready for the advanced class. also, i'm not the only one who's noticed that i've gotten bigger over the last few weeks: both newk'd and our it guy commented on it this morning.

did i not mention feeling like arnold schwarzenegger in twins when he bursts his shirt sleeves? this is some good shit!

on another note, every time i come home after training i drink a glass of cold orange juice, and it's *SO* perfect that it's really distressing finishing it. every time.

---sunday:

i woke up yesterday morning from dreams involving navigating through a swamp across the backs of crocodiles. i wasn't feeling good - these issues i've been skirting around - and i used my suffering-and-can't-sleep time to do laundry.

i headed out to (finally) get myself clothing for summer, it was a beautiful day and i was dreading shopping. i was going to take godmother's advice and was on my way to old navy, but as i was passing by rockland mall anyway i decided to check out sport experts first. on my way i passed foot locker, and noticed a couple of pairs of shoes that seemed like possible fits.

sport experts: holy crap! i found pants that are *precisely* what i was looking for: slightly baggy, more or less respectable, good pockets and comfortable for sport and the office. SCORE!! a little expensive, but so's everything...

i couldn't find shorts that made me happy, though, and so instead of compromising i left and checked out foot locker. what the hell? they have shorts? their own brand of shorts? and they're AWESOME?! i bought two pairs, found a great pair of reasonably priced nike's - the first pair i tried looked good and fit perfectly - and i was done!

after such quick, slick shopping i rewarded myself by finding a decidedly good tofu meal at sukiyaki, stopped at walmart for a couple more training shirts and then had nothing to do but read and rest until meeting nocence and horseman.

on the way there i got a little lost in a cool area. i was struck by the thought that a smoker is just like a car whose rings are shot.

we walked a long way in the wrong direction to find coffee, then hit the park. after a little bit of meta i got into the meat of the subject, and i'm extremely pleased that after a couple of years studying with my advisor and contemplating the sonnets i actually have enough of a grasp not only of shakespeare's works, but of his life and the world in which he lived that i can go on and on for hours sharing details and infecting others with my enthusiasm. all aboard!

i think i got a little too much sun, and that's having used sunscreen :/

we carried on talking into the night, and i got home pretty late. i ate a lot more than i wanted because i have good food in the fridge that'll go bad if i don't. that's not cool :(

---monday:

it was a smooth monday morning. i was surprised to discover that buying a bag of vega smoothie powder is less value for money than getting a bunch of regular protein bars. i was also disappointed to find that only one of the frozen meals i like was available, and i don't want to eat the same shit every day :(

after a horror story in which i accidentally deployed a half-finished change to production and frantically searched for the backup to restore it, i took a break for lunch and finished what i was doing. while triple-checking before testing, i discovered that moonlighter had once again made changes directly to production without informing anyone or reflecting those changes in the svn. i called him up to make sure that i'd understood what happened correctly, and basically what i got from him was a big "f*** you".

i was so frustrated and i couldn't say anything to him, and all i wanted to do was see him in person and crack his jaw. he might have been partially responsible for my excess energy for training. i might have imagined his face while beating the crap outta the punching bag.

i worked late, and left as soon as the first test passed. it took me about half an hour to write the testing framework that i'd instructed cam2 to write, only this time i did it according to the specification and it didn't take two weeks to produce nothing.

*shakes head*

shit, i spent more time failing his reviews than i did writing the damned thing myself...

---i've never heard lupe fiasco before yesterday, and he's really, really good. immortal technique too.

i believe in christmas

i'm sure i mentioned it way back when (while i was researching a seminar paper), but as soon as i read the sermon on the mount i thought "wait a minute... i must be a christian!". to be fair, i said the same thing when i read the communist manifesto, the fascist manifesto, and the futurist manifesto. the fact that i'm an ordained minister of the church of the flying spaghetti monster (in good standing, i might add) and am a non-practising jew who fully ascribes to jewish philosophy prior to the great rabbis (i'm like a jewish hipster) factors in there somewhere. anyway, all of this just to say that while i might not be a christian, and i certainly don't believe in a christian god (or trinity), i can now say that i do believe in christmas. mine was a wonderful, wonderful day, and a large part of it was being surrounded by the infectious goodwill and cheer that those who do believe adopt.

if they would be this merry all year around, the world would be a little better for it.

---christmas:

the other major factor in tuesday being as wonderful as it was was that i had a great day on the slopes and all the glories of saint sauveur were exposed when the sun came out. it's the first time i've been there without complete cloud cover, and words fail me in describing its beauty. from the icy tips of the trees with the sunlight behind them to the fresh snow contrasted against the varied soft blues of the sky, to the view of distant villages nestled in the mountains made possible by the intensely sharp clarity of the day's air, the experience was one of a seemingly endless series of moments caught in an artist's renderings of a dream of being on the slopes. it was fantastic and stupefying, and a little frustrating because i wanted to share the experience and capture the memories on camera but that would have put my camera at risk (most of the *really* crazy shots were from the ski lifts) or force me to remove my gloves (which wouldn't have been a good idea at a windy -10 celsius).

not that i didn't get any photos at all, but they're certainly not representative of what i could see. funnily enough, most of the time i was enjoying the views through my orange goggles and when i did compare, the tint experience was different but neither better nor worse. ah, and the hour or so that i had my ipod playing psychedelic rock from my jacket pocket might have added to the surreal nature of the day.

my new boots are definitely more responsive, and that made my performance improve dramatically. however, i learned the hard way that they're actually a little bit too small (meaning my shoe size is 10.75 US, and the quarter size in either direction isn't good), so if i tightened the laces properly my left foot would begin to hurt. a lot. like enough to pass out from the pain.

i discovered this because i was totally jamming when the pain started, and was so excited and was so thoroughly enjoying myself that i couldn't bring myself to take break until i absolutely had to. i didn't pass out, but i recognize when i'm on the verge. also an indication that they're too small: i landed off a small jump later on and stubbed my big toe :(

the good and bad that came out of needing to take breaks (fortunately i only got the lacing wrong twice) was that i stopped at avila for a beer and by the time i was finished and had heard enough christmas song covers by artists like enya and bon jovi the lift was closed and the whole place was being shut down. on the one hand, that meant that i had to grab my bag and boots from my locker and walk along the road until i got to one of the two saint sauveur lifts still operational. this was arduous and it was very uncomfortable to snowboard down a black diamond with boots in hand. on the other hand, if i hadn't taken that break i might have continued with my plan to return to avila just before the bus was scheduled to arrive, and by then i would have had a nasty surprise because there wouldn't have been any quick way to get back. and it would have been in complete darkness.

my last runs were excellent, and the walk to the village was pleasant. it was very, very cold, though, and the bus was quite late. the well-dressed local woman waiting with me kept complaining about the cold in french (in both senses), and i kept myself warm by dancing on the spot to dark psytrance.

but the bus did arrive, and we boarded. there weren't many seats available, and a girl towards the back of the bus removed her backpack from the seat for me. i sat down, and she asked me where the bus had stopped, and i told her. she began to talk, kind of arbitrarily, and at some point she said something that made me ask her where she was from.

well, if i didn't immediately switch to hebrew there and then! it took her a slow moment to realize what had happened, and we laughed and spent the rest of the ride talking non-stop. her fellow exchange student (ben gurion / mcgill) woke up after twenty minutes and sleepily asked if she was really hearing a conversation in hebrew; the chances of meeting an israeli on a night bus in quebec are probably pretty damn small. never mind that, she's studying computer science and philosophy, and has a friend who's studying computer science and literature who she can now tell isn't alone.

it was fun, and strange, and very interesting.

---boxing day:

in order to leave my aunt's house early with yang, i'd showered, dressed and picked up a toothbrush when i got home and then went to sleep over there. i was up at the time he'd told me to be, but he wasn't and his parents insisted that i not wake him. eventually, three hours later, yin woke up, woke him up, and he made a big noise about how i should've woken him up :/

we hit the salomon store first, and the purchase was pretty quick. i'm not sure who did a better job of selling me the boots, yang or the salesman, but they look good, they're super-comfortable and i'm assured that they'll keep my feet warm and dry and will last me enough years that the splurge will be worth it.

the rest of the day was spent discovering that yang is a serious shopper. although between stores was fun, when he wasn't chain-smoking, the shops themselves were a drag. and the people! it was nuts. we ran into a classmate of his with agoraphobia, who comes outside once a year on boxing day in an effort to exorcise it because the crowds freak him out more than his phobia so his related panic attacks are easier to control.

seems legit. those crowds and queues and that level of pushy-and-shoviness on the metro were something else...

we got back to my aunt's where my boots received approval, played guitar hero and rockstar table tennis until dinner, and afterwards yang dropped me and my gear back at home.

where i've eaten and done internet things. and prepared emotionally for getting up early again tomorrow.

---something positive in the news: in california, at least, the stigma attached to marijuana use appears to be fading. the war on drugs is more destructive and costly than any drug use ever was - ever - and this gives me hope.

speaking of crowd-funding: stick 'n find is a brilliant idea, but i wonder if some of their raging success can be attributed to reading "clean your mess" as "kick your lover out the side-door".

raspberry pi replacing expensive stuff: good for them! it's a noble goal.

sleeprolling

i had a strange dream last night:
i caught a private investigator my ex-landlord had set onto me while he was going through my apartment, who didn't realize that the apartment belonged to me. eventually it occurred to me to record him admitting to being employed by the landlord, but only after he'd cleverly managed to talk me outside... i was trying to catch up to him when i bumped into someone i once went to school with, who continued to talk at me while i concentrated on taking a stupidly dangerous shortcut to catch up with the p.i.:
he followed me onto a narrow plank bridge [think tightrope] and pushed me. i barely managed to grab hold while kicking one of his feet out from under him, and he tumbled down to what i assume was his death.

the p.i. had disappeared.

...

back in the apartment, i sprayed a cockroach to death.

odd.

---i was woken up today by the guy i was supposed to be mastering graphics for, for an interesting chat wherein i talked myself out of about a grand for the job and turned a "mostly positive" into a "not so sure". i think i'd better go through the process of becoming a billable entity.

wr called me up to remind me that he'd invited me for breakfast at his new canteen... that demanded rolling, not walking. because i'm not feeling up to much, i bladed with minimal effort and had an enjoyable breakfast after eventually finding the place - at least i'm finding it funny that he's so bad with directions :P

i responded really badly to a situation that demanded an immediate and positive response (simple, really - "can we share your table?"), and my hesitation alienated the people involved and left me with a bad taste in my mouth :(

another slow roll to work, zombie-style, and i spent the day in my janitor closet reading the adventures of roger wilco. okay, i only managed to read the first volume while waiting for my mentor to get out of his meeting...

a quick explanation of the above paragraph: i've been assigned a workstation. it really is in an office so tiny that it's been used as storage space, so i'm sharing it with a vacuum cleaner (we take up about the same amount of space). one of the managers walked up to the door (i would've said walked in, but that's a rather tricky feat) and called me roger wilco, inciting me to hunt for a poster and find the afore-linked-to comics ^_^

most of the workday was consumed by setting up my development environments (with plenty of hassles) and testing the first change i'd made. then i got caught up with trying to find a decent search extension for mediawiki: nada. the only one that appears alright is sphinx, and that's way to much admin work for li'l ol' me - i'm not getting adventurous with company servers :P

towards the end of the day i overheard someone saying "vengeance is a dish best served cold", and auto-responded with "no, vengeance is best served in a stew" :)
[while ascertaining that i can claim that, i stumbled across a cute short story]

once again physically wasted, i slowly zombie-rolled my way home. i'm now waiting for a friend to come and look at the apartment, hoping that he's going to want to house-sit for me.

---how nice: my being an ex-smoker raises the cancer risk from my bellyache.

this little american-japanese girl is going to be one to keep an eye on - she's amazing! (and she has a whole channel of crazy shit).

all business

now that i've thrown my entire evening to google's reader, i'm feeling up to the immense task of documenting my day.

1) maybe inspired subconsciously by fight club, but last night was sponsored by a well-timed bout of insomnia.

2) i moved SUPER-slow this morning, and somehow made it on time anyway. heck, i even managed to make breakfast and do some sit-ups.

3) i can count six cigarettes i smoked today, which is far less than the last couple of days, but far more than it should be. i've reached the conclusion that quitting smoking right before hitting a major transition phase wasn't the smartest idea ever.

4) i ate too much chocolate today. there's no hope for me.

5) i decided to pull a lame april-fool's on piles; an hour or so later the kid called me up, because it had filtered through to him and caught them both out - and the kid was at home on holiday ^_^

6) at the beginning of the day, one of my co-workers taught me something new and then jokingly warned me not to forget X, where X seems like a ridiculously obvious thing to do and quite hard to skip. i laughed, thinking that i wouldn't be caught out like that, but i suddenly realized this evening that i now have egg all over my face.

7) i was totally hyped by the time i left the office; it was a good day at work. i stopped by azrieli to buy gifts for tomorrow night (passover with kc's family at her parents' place), but there were so many crazies jamming the mall that i just did a quick pass through and escaped as quickly as i could.

8) met up with spot on the bus home, and we stopped off at the cafeneto for an animated recap of the last couple of days. sunshine spared me five minutes, most of which was consumed by a slightly awkward silence.

9) a journalist who remembered me from a previous job over a year ago caught me on my way out, and i sat and chatted with him for a bit before going shopping for chocolate. chocolate makes an appropriate gift, but i think i need to wrap it :S

10) as i said, i totally wasted the evening. and now it's time for bed. during the last couple of hours i've been considering the possibility that i really have changed a lot since i arrived in this country. it's not that i'm not interested in the same things, or don't maintain the same viewpoints (in general, of course): it's that i've finally gotten my life prioritized and i've gotten used to denying myself things that i desire.

so used to it, in fact, that i need to unlearn making myself miserable - i don't need to keep such a tight leash on myself anymore.

universcale is cool. i need a bigger screen.
cute video, ridiculous concept: the wiihelm

moo.com: after a couple of great-looking designs, i scrapped them because i have that much faith in online credit transactions

a space junkyard, for the child in every one of us

no rest for the ______

on my way home, i walked past the lizard, and was surprised to find it hosting a party. 8pm? what gives?

turned out to be a bat-mitzva party, so not something i wanted to attend. my mum called, and i chatted to her outside for half an hour, then chatted with wr for a bit while he worked. and then made my way home.

showered quickly, dressed, and taxied to meet up with spot. on my way there, i passed an area that always reminds me of lake. i realized last night that i can't actually be upset with her for not being in touch during the last couple of years - during the first week that i met her, she warned me that she's like that. so i guess i'm back to being ready to marry her at the drop of a hat :P (not that that's ever going to happen, but whatever)

i walked in to spot's gran's place, his cousins were still there. i had excellent cake, we sat around for a bit, and when i got bored i started reading knife of dreams. mistake. now i'm going to have to read it, instead of waiting patiently for the series to be completed.

we went to a coffee shop, and i had a huge (and really good) salad for supper. the waitress laughed at me, asked if i was on a diet. look - i ate a 330g burger for breakfast, i'm fairly confident that it's within my rights to eat a salad for - essentially - lunch, and still retain my sense of masculinity.

spot and i walked through to the zamir, but arrived early. i went to a kiosk to get smokes. they didn't stock gauloises, and when i asked for them, the asshole had the cheek to tell me that i wouldn't find anywhere in the area - so i may as well spend my money there on something that i didn't want. i walked a further 100m to the next kiosk, and bought them there, then returned just to show him. it didn't make a difference to him, but i felt a little better for it. i'm so fickle.

the party at the zamir was awesome. i don't know what the deal was supposed to be with astral projection... apparently it was them playing upstairs from 2 - 4, but when we went up to check, it was shitty. so we spent the night downstairs with awesome track after awesome track.

the only disappointment was a cute girl who flirted with me (and i back), who left in the middle of a great song, when i wasn't paying attention, without even saying goodbye. annoying!

after the party, ta2 joined us (or we joined him, it's his car) for a mission to find food. all the places in that area that are 100% 24 hours a day, ALWAYS open, were closed. we ran into wr at my coffee, and the funny / sexy waitress from last week. she was fascinated by my tat; it makes me feel good to have others appreciate it ^_^

sat for an amusing half hour over chocochino. then moved off to a place ten minutes' walk from where i live, that i've never seen / heard of before. brilliant food - philadelphia steak and cheese sammich, with excellent home-fries (although it was a waste of cash, 'cuz i had about 4 bites before i was stuffed completely... the sammich was HUGE).

ta2 gave spot a ride home, then me, and i was so wasted by the time i arrived home that i simply brushed my teeth and fell into bed.

slept beautifully ^_^

i got up 9 hours later, read a bit, and was then disturbed by some arsim messing around in our parking lot with their lawnmower-scooters. i flicked a lit cigarette at them, but the wind pushed it to safety. for the best, i guess. i don't really want a brick through my glass doors.

i've discovered that i'm going to a wedding of one of my first flatmates on the 19th. i'm trying to decide if i should congratulate them while talking like a pirate ;)
i have no clue what to get them! how much money do i give if i'm a soldier (soldiers are more or less exempt from large amounts), but also working for a salary (and he's one of the big bosses)??

i showered, and took a walk to azrieli, on the way discovering that a kiosk close by sells cadbury's chocolate! YEAH!

i went looking for tool - aenema, but i didn't recognize it because they don't have the name written on the cover. bastards. but i've been listening to samples of the album from amazon, and now i don't think i want it anyway :S

thank you, nystire:
not only do i now have access to those cartoons that i made outside of the army, but i now know the following (from wikipedia):

in ptolemaic egypt, idiotès was a term for soldier

excellent. so we're all professional idiots. at least that explains the general mentality.

oh, and operation acoustic kitty is just awesome.

rob zombie kicks ass. kmfdm too.

what's her name?

the only problem with the work completed last night: forgetting to change to target of the alert sms's from myself to yogi. two of our servers went down today, and were sorted out, and each state change i had to forward the sms's to yogi manually. there's something eerily primitive about sending them without using my apps :P

our local smelly hobo terrorized the bus this morning. he's seriously offensive, i don't care what his derangement is. he can transform a practically empty bus into "standing room only" in under three minutes.

---i achieved legendary status today, when i produced (as usual, now) my "spirit of the IDF" poster during inspection. the big-boss discipline officer (not the cute girl) walked through, and stopped to check me out.

"what's this?" (part of his job description is controlling his smile, but there's definitely a slight upturning)
"it's my 'spirit of the IDF'."
"don't you have the little one we provide?"
"yes, but you know i have problems reading hebrew." (at this point he's actually smiling. i'm at breaking point, and people around are giggling hysterically)
"so what? this version is in english?" (it's obviously not in english, big smile now, i'm starting to smile. and shake a little, if i don't play this right, i get court-martialled)
"no, it's just that the bigger letters make it easier for me to identify the words."

at that point, somebody on the other side of the court shouted "he has strong belief in the spirit of the IDF!". everyone burst out laughing, and he just made some strangled noises and moved on to the next person.

instant hero ^_^
the only problem is now i have to carry the damn poster around all the time, 'cause he's going to try to catch me out. totally worth it.

---morning coffee - a girl i'm friendly with took a cigarette from me, lit up, and said: "your name's <totalwaste>, right? you don't know what mine is, do you?"
i was stumped. i guessed something kinda close, but that didn't cut it :S

when i got back into my office, i received an IM from our branch secretary.
"hi, i'm the new secretary. do you remember my name?"
DAMMIT! not - even - a clue! and she's super cute, and i've been flirting with her for weeks now!

the kid and i took a walk to sort stuff out, then returned to break our heads over the ass-backwards snapshots that our predecessors defined. it was all very confusing.
after having a huge fight with the mongoose over the phone, over something INCREDIBLY moronic, our team went out for lunch... i had excellent spaghetti and meatballs (it's been years), and a good chat with the kid afterwards.

i passed out in the car on the way back to base, and it took a while to get my head together once we got there. when we walked into our office, our resident DBA just *happened* to be sitting there <evil grin>, so we pulled her into the fray. at least we weren't alone in scratching our heads, but she eventually managed to figure it all out, and presented us with possible solutions.

i paid for her time with marshmallow hot chocolate. hell, i made for the entire team while i was at it, and we still have marshmallows left >D

during this time, i got a call from an apparently very cute camps-bay girl staying in israel for a year. it's a bit odd to meet a person over the phone for the first time, but i impressed myself by lasting almost 10 minutes - and i ain't no talker. sounds like a cool bird ;)

between the kid and myself, we managed to get the issues all sorted out, we did it the way it was meant to be done (ie. understandable. efficient.), and what was left of the afternoon was fairly quiet.

a few of us went off to "supper" early, and had a really cute and playful fight with some pretty course girls pushing to get ahead of the queue. the food was alright, the view was pleasant, and the sense of "thursday afternoon!" was strong :)

almost at work, when nystire hopped on the bus in his spanky new uniform. hah! they stripped him of his rank! [nystire: i know. nevermind.]

we spent about half an hour talking (missing spot on the elevators was unexpected, but murphy's always at it), organizing and drinking coffee.
i forgot the name of the really cute girl that works at the coffee shop. after she screwed up all our coffee last night (too much cream, not enough coffee), i gave her extremely specific instructions on how to prepare the four different cups. when she asked if i wanted it strong, i replied that i want my brain to explode from the overdose.

she made that coffee *just* right ^_^

---my charge's mom (haven't heard from them in a while) is going crazy: this kid's just been offered a really decent job in the army, and he wants to turn it down because he doesn't want any part in killing anybody.

so i've agreed to have a nice, long chat with him over the weekend. aside from the IDF's overzealousness in "purity of arms" (funnily enough, the first major section in "the spirit of the IDF" that i can understand), the whole point of serving in the army is to protect life, not destroy it. and this is one kid who could definitely use army-style guidance.
i suppose this can be seen as me doing some community service... no?

aside from remembering to change the sms targets, and a couple of calls to the states - my contact's leaving the provider, so i'm dealing with a fresh 'un, my evening's been pretty quiet. another 45 minutes, and then i'm off to chill at the balcony, and probably call it a week :P

a lightening-fast week that followed a blazingly fast one? crazy. what's going on? is the world spinning faster?

spot and i had a rather amusing conversation on his way out. if you're in an elevator and the cable snaps, sending it plummeting: assuming that you're not screaming like a little girl, if you jump up - can you lie plastered to the ceiling?
got me thinking of being pushed out of a plane at 10,000ft in a box with the bottom weighted... you could charge big money for the ride ;)

nutter.
throw away the spoon
israeli crap proves useful
soothing the serial killer
earworms

get out of the oven!

did somebody forget how hot and sticky it is in israel during summer? i'm dying here, people!

friday morning was grand - depressing, but nice in spite of the knowledge that i was leaving. woke up slowly, packed, and then we all went to the market to organize sushi. *excellent* sushi. the nice drive round parts of montreal i hadn't yet seen also went down well.

then we were off to the airport, for another tearful farewell (my aunt's good at that), and then i was rushed through to my plane to toronto (with a promise from the check-in counter that my luggage would go straight to tel aviv).

the first flight was alright, and in toronto i walked straight through to the shuttle to my next flight. i didn't see border control anywhere, so i guess i'm officially still in canada.

unfortunately, i had an hour to wait, and not only is the building non-smoking, but OUTSIDE TOO. the building is situated in the middle of all the runways... DAMMIT! so i bought a couple of magazines, munched some m&m's, and eventually we boarded.

a harsh, 12 hour reminder that aeroplane seats are designed for people without legs. not only was the kid behind me playing with his seatbelt the entire flight (enough clicking will get on your nerves), but the little girl in front kept holding down the button and bouncing back and forth. i went bananas, and nobody could stop her from doing it.

so yeah, that was a pretty sucky flight. i hear my mom's was worse, but that doesn't make me feel better. i think i slept about half an hour or so. i spent a lot of the waking hours hating myself for returning to uniform.

i discovered, to my complete and utter surprise, really, that my luggage is still in canada. notice the use of present tense. i hopped on the train (and luckily didn't get caught - i used my soldier's id for a free ride) and went to the base. aside from picking up my keys, and going for lunch with the kid (although after two weeks of good food, i couldn't bring myself to eat any of that crap), and some milling around and appreciating the beautiful bums the girls sport here, i waited two hours to speak to my commander. who managed to sneak out when i wasn't looking.

disappointed, i caught the bus home. my stuff's all there, which DID surprise me, and i showered and read myself to sleep.

aside from an hour or two in the late evening, when i spoke to my mom to hear about the horrors of her trip (and it really was horrific), i slept soundly until 3am.

AAARGH! and i'd slept too much, so i just lay in bed reading until my alarm went off. i shaved, and hurried off to the base (forgetting my shoes, so i'm stuck in uniform at work, which SUCKS), pretty much straight to work. oh, and i made a neat 9 month calendar (the amount of time i have left), with each month a picture of the appropriate phase in a foetus' development.

the work today (and i'll be continuing tomorrow) was extremely frustrating. my commander was in meetings the entire day, i literally didn't get two seconds to talk to him. i cleared out my 150+ new emails, sewed on one of my new ranks, and other than that had a particularly boring day.

i came straight to work, and have been in the thick of it since i got here. did some conniving with yogi. conniving is always fun. can't talk about it yet. sorry. and i have actually gotten a lot of work done. and eaten a good hamburger; i was desperate for food - i'm still not craving mess-hall trash.

considering the fact that the following thoughts consumed me for most of my trip, i've decided to jot them down:

i live in the future. i always have. it's why i dress the way i do, i why i plan do the things i haven't shut up about (IRL). so i'm constantly thinking about my possibilities, specifically from my release date next year.

1) i sign on 3 extra years, assuming that they make me an offer i can't refuse (and can't talk about, sorry)

2) i stay on at work a couple of months, to make starting money and enjoy a bit of summer out of uniform

3) i return to sa for a couple of months - i need minor surgery, and i'm not doing it when alone in israel

4a) i go off to japan, to seek work in vr / aerospace, and if i'm unsuccessful then just to have a holiday there and spend time with hido

4b) i go to the states, where i join SxS in building an empire (with me primarily focused on vr)

4c) i go to canada, to work in gaming / aerospace (they have some good places to start) or to do research in mcgill university (have contact, will travel).

so that's about it at the moment. not to mention much thoughts about starting a family; but those are just arbitrary.

right, i'm off.

more stuff in montreal

one of my cousins (wp - tgtbt's brother) rocked up around midnight, and we sat talking for an hour or two outside before going to bed.

we were woken up frighteningly early to shower and get dressed (jackets! they made us wear jackets in the middle of summer!), and then headed off with our italian uncle to the synagogue. the bar/bat mitvah was really nice, the kids did well and the breakfast afterwards was great.

aside from me accidentally locking myself outside when i went for a smoke. that was embarrassing.

we went back home, and then i napped for an hour or so. i was volunteered to take my young cousin and a friend of his to the pool, so i had a swim and chilled in the sun. i love watching little kids playing, but it makes me miserable when i think of how hard a time i'm having finding a girl i can settle down with so i can have children of my own.

awwww.

meanwhile...

my mother has been staying at some of our aunt and uncle's friends, and she returned there after the synagogue. someone had turned on the alarm (for which she didn't know the number), and both of her hosts were at work. when the security company called, they asked who she was and where she was from. flustered, she told them her name and that she's from africa.

well done, mum.

not suspecting anything, she went and had a shower. while showering, three police cruisers rocked up, and the police stormed the premises, wearing bullet-proof vests and weapons at the ready. my mom said she got out the shower, wrapped herself in a towel, and when she saw all the cops, all she could think of was not being shot wrapped in a towel.

fortunately, just then one of her hosts arrived at home, and managed to clear things up.

back to me...

got back home, relaxed a bit with the family, and then had a quick shower and got fancy again for the dinner / dance thing. it was actually quite nice, we did a bit of shmoozing, dancing, and lots of eating.

another cousin gave me and wp a ride down town. we started off cruising through the crowds, then decided to take some advice we'd been given, and headed off to the club area. that was a long walk.

after taking a wrong turn, and ending up in a seriously dodgy red-light district, we found our way and went into one of the clubs. the décor was styling (all anime), the girls were fine (albeit a tad young), the music was solid. i was uncomfortable with not smoking in the club, but then we discovered the roof, where cigarette smoke and crushes of people steamed into the sky. we sat for a bit, then decided to call it a night.

we were too late for the bus, so we went in a taxi with some girl who'd also been waiting, who stiffed us for the bill. not nice! we made it home alright, went to sleep around 3.30am.

this morning i woke up around 9-ish, sat with everyone as the kids went through the presents, and then we all went through to the old city to eat lunch and mill around. it was quite nice.

and i *do* like being the driver ;)

so now we're home, about to go missioning to sort things out before supper (very schmancy dinner tonight, too), and then it's party-time!!

i (L) montreal

(i'm now registering montreal time, it's easier to figure out :P)

i woke up around 4am, and decided to take a walk with a cup of tea in my hand. i was absolutely blown away by the sunrise and the general beauty of this city and its architecture!

i went back to bed, then woke up again at a more reasonable time. i went with my mom and my aunt's best friend's husband to the bank, and on the way discovered that i really should have bought a carton of cigarettes in the duty free. twice the price!! but it's a french area, so at least they have gauloises ;)

we then regrouped, and all went downtown. beautiful, beautiful buildings
^_^

we did a lot a mallratting and shopping. everything's underground, which is awesome for when it rains, which it did :P
on a side note - the girls here in general are alright. most of the people are quite tall, and tall girls do it for me too ;)

and it's all very french.

had a good lunch, and great coffee - yes, they have some here ^_^

how many years have i been connected to CLAWS? today i played warhammer 40k for the first time! it was a fast demo-game, but i really enjoyed myself. my little cousin kept calling me a nerd afterwards. i tried and failed to explain to him why i just don't care - he's 13, so i guess it's not easy to understand the distinction between geek and nerd.
nevermind.

we then went to see mcgill university. it's spread throughout the downtown area, but the main campus itself is simply STUNNING. i could definitely handle studying there.

everything's getting ready for the grand prix - and i have tickets! w00t!!!

so we came back, chatted a bit. i was busy posting when i got volunteered to do some lifting - i haven't driven in ages, and it was such a pleasure compared to israel :)

we're off soon to supper, so i guess it's time to get ready...

crazy day

how do i best describe today in one word? NUTS.

on the bus to the base this morning, i was totally engrossed in oliver twist, and had my earphones in, bopping my head to wicked beats. suddenly one of the earphones was ripped out, and the strange girl in front of me was waving a newspaper under my nose.

"you want to read the paper?"
"i can't read hebrew."

i replaced the earphone. 20 seconds later there's frantic movement in my peripheral vision. i look up, and she's waving a stick of gum at me.

"no, thanks."

geez.

on base there was plenty of work, we were completely swamped with many different and unpleasant things the entire day. most of it was developer, and i managed to get the rest of the team scratching their heads and thinking "where did we go wrong?" :) [that smile's for my not being alone]

just before lunch, we had a farewell ceremony for one of the tech-support commanders. it was nice, and the food was good. what was really weird was afterwards running into one of her soldiers - i asked him why he hadn't been there, and he mumbled something about "why should i have been?", before scurrying off.
personally, as much as i hate my previous commanders, i'd still go and do the official goodbye thing. strange.

---lunch was amusing. a few of us from the section went to the mess hall, and ran into s'belle and a friend of hers. we were both on top form, and we all spent lunch (which wasn't too good, but not the worst i've ever eaten) in hysterics. afterwards, she was frantically messengering me [is that a legitimate verb now?] to find out if my friends also think that we look like a couple. i used a lot of little-people's words to explain to her that i've been out of primary school for a while, that i'm not interested in anybody else's opinions of me whatsoever, and that the only thing i'm interested in when it comes to her is sex. and i'm still not sure she grasped all of it. it may have been too much at once.

just after lunch, the new girl came up to me with a forlorn expression on her face. she's heard me ranting and screaming in frustration, so what does she say (in a soft, sad voice) when i ask her what's up?

"i hate developer, too."

now if that didn't start the funniest series of quotes and arguments, i'll eat my own head. *thump, thump*

i was informed by the other south african that we were to meet in the afternoon with somebody from the airforce about aerospace software engineering. hell, i'd sign on extra years for that!

two minutes before we were scheduled to meet, he postponed. buggrit.

i went to work, and got busy fixing a bug from last night. it drove me nuts, especially when i found it and it wasn't at all related to the problem area i'd been looking at. urgh!

after sorting everything out, we began moving it all to linux. that was fun. what wasn't fun was its not compiling at all. when we figured out that the problem wasn't on the coding side, we also discovered that our support had forgotten to inform us of a new version release. we installed the new version, and suddenly NOTHING compiled. so much for backward compatibility. i hear that the development team got into deep shit when we alerted them of the problem. our side was filled with sardonic laughter.

i dealt with it anyway, only to discover that they'd introduced something called log4j, which needs to be initialized in a certain way. and if it's not correctly done, it screws up everything. much time wasted on fixing that, then discovering that JApplets don't run on remote consoles. i'm learning more things all the time.

by the end i managed to get the most crucial application running and loaded on the server, and i have a good idea of how to correct the same problems on the primary application. but i have to be done by tomorrow, and that's probably going to result in me working late. TGIT (friday's our day off, don't forget).

on leaving the premises, i suddenly registered that the reason i'd been struggling the entire evening was that somebody had changed my resolution to a setting that should have been labelled "ridiculously high - too high for a small screen like yours". and i hadn't actually noticed.

tomorrow morning i get to miss inspection, i'll be sorting out rent subsidies. sounds like fun.

---waiting for the bus after work, i was accosted by two arabs. i had no problem with giving one of them a cigarette, but i was put immediately on guard when they started taking an interest in my service. i managed to brush them off with bullshit, but i was ready to deal with an attempt at kidnapping. not a nice feeling at all.

and just before the bus came, they started telling me about heroin and how i should stay away from it. having a cousin who enlightened me from his first-hand ordeal about the horrors of getting hooked on that shit, i'm in no particular need of guidance from strangers. especially ones i'm already wary of.

---my door wouldn't open when i got home. i forced it, and discovered that they've got loose cables sticking out of the new hole in my floor. tomorrow's talk is going to be interesting. but i do have electricity!

anyway, the positive has outweighed the negative on this one. i absolutely loved returning to development under linux, and i've achieved a lot in relatively few hours.

who's cool, and has two thumbs? fonzie... and me!

ooh, goody!

mostly, at least ;) i ate too much chocolate during the afternoon, and coupled with other milk products during the day it didn't do me too much good.

but i won't lie and say that it wasn't worth it ^_^

i overslept this morning, but fortunately not by too much - i made it to the base more or less on time (read: half an hour late, but nobody noticed). the mongoose took my photo for the visa application, and the kid and i spent the morning working on annoying bugs. tradition. suffice it to say that our interactions with the lice responsible for our servers was far from becoming of civilized people.

but then, we're not really so civilized, are we? nobody is. the meaning of the word has been drowned out by the clamors of backward barbarians who know that they're at the peak of whatever "sociable" ladders they've erected for themselves.

our team went off to visit one of ours who's been sick / suffering for a week, so we took her out to a great little iraqi restaurant (jewish people who fled iraq, for those wondering), and we stuffed ourselves on fabulous food. i went off afterwards to find a non-obtrusive spot to smoke in, and was called back - i didn't realize that i'm not the only one in the team who smokes! neat!

i spent the afternoon trying to print that id photo, and then trying to fax it to kibbutz cousin (who's my travel agent). eventually we got that right, but it was a ridiculously complicated procedure!

brother bear (one of the guys in our team) and i finally fixed that problem from wednesday, and i left *just* in time to catch the bus to work.

...

i had that dreaded meeting with the boss. i explained to him the situation with the code, and he called in the lead - who confirmed what i'd said and actually took it a step further... so i'm not alone. we have a solid plan of action set up for the rest of the week.
AND i informed him of my holiday requirements...

...

which didn't phase him a bit. so i - am - HAPPY. i've got my contract to read over, and am spending this evening working on connecting to a db server that's apparently down. so i'm actually spending this evening theoretically connecting to said database :P

i just met the mongoose outside for a smoke-break (he's taking a course that's across the road)... that was fun. i've also just found out that my first boss (the one who owes me about NIS 3000 and hasn't been in touch in a while) has been overseas all this time, so i suppose it's kind of forgivable. but i did warn him that i only work for money now, so that's the last project he'll have me for.

the kid and i were wondering how we ever survived before learning about using the ctrl button with the arrow keys to skip words. that's one of the first things i learned in the army, probably the only thing of any import that i'll be taking with me!

i'm gonna go pour black slosh into my lung-troughs. and then i'll do what i get paid for.

in good spirits

by itself, that's an expression that doesn't make much sense.

i've noticed that my appeal to the "fairer" sex is directly proportional to my attitude, and sleep deprivation. the more wasted i am, and the better the mood i'm in, the more girls i find giving me looks and finding ways to keep my attention.

i need to sleep less, methinks.

after a couple of hours sleep, i got up quickly (and to the point) this morning. i even made my bus. my bus arrived a bit early, and i received a number of "well done!" comments during the day - apparently the second i unlock my pc everyone on my contact list gets an alert. that's worrying. it means my team leader can see exactly how much time i'm away from my computer. and i can't be bothered to disable / re-enable every time.

i spent a large part of the day moving around and getting bureaucratic things sorted out. which meant a LOT of stopping and chatting. and a lot of smoking too. i'm conscious of how much i smoke, uncomfortably so, but i still don't want to stop...

i also got a lot of work done today. aside from our team being hit by numerous bug reports throughout the day, i learned some rather neat java / oracle stuff. at one point i got hold of a 22-page document that explained how i've been doing everything wrong. not wanting to change anything, i double-checked the java api stuff, and it turns out i was in the right, and since then it's been smooth sailing ;)

lunch was REALLY bad today.

and i realized that there's no place in our offices for sb's punching bag. that really bites. we were really looking forward to that!

a new kid was assigned to our section today, and i ran into him during my missioning and found him agreeable. we then found out (from the horse's mouth) that the only reason that he hadn't arrived in our offices is because our section commander wants him to sweat a bit, so that he'll arrive with courtesy.

not only is that bloody cheeky, but i got an awkward look when i asked if that was the reason i wasted a day of my life on the induction base before coming through. BASTARD.

so, of course, we found the new guy and explained it to him. if we're not going to be allowed to "show him the ropes", we're going to make a point of messing him up completely (as far as our commander is concerned ;))

amusement: one of the guys in our prefab was saying ridiculous things loudly when some girl was in earshot. i made an arbitrary comment in her direction about us being disgusting, and when she turned to respond i did a visible double-take (for which the guys laughed at me afterwards), when i registered that she's actually extremely cute.

i worked until 18.20, then took the bus home. i know i'm fucked up because this is the first time in my entire life that i've spilled coffee on my keyboard - i'm most unimpressed with myself.

i've now spent an hour or so working on the hospital project - not too bad, and called my boss to update him. he's sent me a huge document in hebrew to read through, and we argued over whether or not he'll send me a rough transration for the important bits... otherwise it'll take me a month with a dictionary to get through it.

now i have to decide if it's worth dragging myself to the lizard for some live bands, and a dj afterwards who's a member of my favourite israeli metal group... maybe i'll just go to bed.

i mentioned the gay photographer story in the tag list, so here goes:

i went through a period where i was toying with the idea of modelling. a friend of a friend (extremely large, extremely camp ex-cameo stocking leg model) introduced me to a friend of his, who took a few photos just for kicks. he invited me to come to his rented penthouse apartment if i was interested in getting my portfolio done for free.

of course i was.

i arrived, a bit nervous, and he immediately began by telling me who he was. editor and photographer of new york's most well-known gay magazine. i wasn't bothered - i just wanted good photos.

he asked me to strip down to my underwear, so he could see what he was working with. not knowing the rules of the game (and still not knowing), i did. he saw how uncomfortable i was, and in a doomed-to-fail attempt to relax me, he told me a story about a model he'd once worked with.

the story basically goes as follows: homophobic model sitting in a sud-filled bath. he walks in. model is uncomfortable. he sits down and talks for a while, model eases up. he somehow (i don't remember the story so much as the horror of hearing it, and wondering what he was *implying*) ends up with his hand in the water... things happen... model turns out to have been in the closet.

i never have been in the closet. due to various incidents i'm 100% confident in my sexuality - if i was gay, i could have owned a porsche at age 18. and i would have enjoyed my only male-male kiss. *shudders in memory*

anyway, so we begin the shooting. at some point he gave me some oil to apply, and i did push-ups to give my muscles a sheen, and we continued.

almost at the end of the run, he asked me a favour. he wanted a photo of me bending over, pulling down my pants to expose half a butt-cheek... so he can use it for christmas cards. how twisted is that?!

i admit i thought about it, but at the time i didn't know where i was going in life, and i had this image of myself one day running for political office, and these christmas cards coming back to bite me in the... erm... yeah.

so i declined. but i'll tell you something for nothing - INCREDIBLE photos!

i've just discovered that there was a bombing today - i'm about to depress myself by watching the news.

ps. count the idioms. and cliches.

two days down

i feel like i've lost time...

the braai at SxS's place was awesome - saw a lot of friends i've been out of touch with, the food was great, and i thoroughly enjoyed playing texas hold'em, even though i got my butt whipped.

i left his place around 7am, went straight to the ministry of interior, to discover that they've moved, and i'll only be able to go from the 3rd... oh well. i arrived to a totally quiet base, spent the morning juggling between arbing and grafting.

at 3pm i asked for permission to leave, and my commander gave me an ultimatum: if i finished the prog i was working on successfully by 3.30, i could leave - if not, i leave at 8pm... not very nice, as i've never tried to run the damn thing before.

at approximately 3.25, i gingerly clicked the "work, dammit!" button - and i'll be damned, it ran first time! not only was i very excited, but my commander was severely disappointed, 'cause he had to let me go ^_^

we went to a tattoo parlour in dizengoff - a friend from the base's cousin works their, and i saw his portfolio, and had a chat with him. his work is AMAZING, and as far as money is concerned he said we can work something out. now i just have to do the damn thing.

and yes, i'm totally nervous about this.

humorous aside: we're going to redo their website for them (i hope i find the time). it's one way to pay for the tat ;)

the mongoose and i went to go pick up the tickets - getting lost on the way, but we succeeded in the end. we ate good shuwarma, then took the bus to holon. went to the video store - awesome video store - and got AvP and big fish.

omfg - my first opportunity to see AvP!! my enthusiasm wasn't enough, i was so exhausted that i fell asleep after about half an hour. i LOVED what i did get to see though, so there is hope.

i slept REALLY badly. in the early afternoon, we rushed to return the videos, and then had a brilliant breakfast. we sat down for some serious (read: very tasty) ice-cream, but had to take it with us as his mom came to pick us up.

i took the bus to tel aviv, and walked-very-fast home, where i showered and changed in about 2 minutes (no shit - i'm most impressed), as i was late for a date with this girl i met a few weeks ago.

i am one lucky SOB. the bus arrived AS i got to the stop (aided by a little running). i arrived with time to spare - so i treated myself to neil gaiman - american gods.

i couldn't remember how this girl looks, so i was more than pleasantly surprised when she arrived, and turned out to be FINE. very cute, very sexy. and really nice - we sat talking over coffee for about an hour before she left. unfortunately, as is not usually the case, i'm all enthusiastic, and i'm not sure how she feels - but the situation is definitely an improvement over the norm :D

i walked through to karnaf's pad, got my tickets and sat for coffee. i started reading the book, and the first few pages are simply great. good buy.

the mongoose picked me up, and we drove to get the last ticket, then stopped for a hot dog. damn kosher-for-passover rolls taste like crap. ran into an old friend from the university though, which was nice.

he just dropped me off, i'm doing laundry, planning on reading a bit, and then - who knows??

i really need to slow down my smoking, i'm way out of control.

i'm totally excited about the festival - we're leaving tomorrow!! this is gonna be killer.