ring ring bitch

"totalwaste, do you think i'm slutty? do i throw myself at guys? do i look desperate?"

"did you think carefully before calling me?"

"c'mon! you're a guy! you think like a guy, help me out here?"

"ah! yes! you're right. how silly of me! i'm a male, so i know exactly what all other males are thinking. tell me three things that interest me. three things that a typical male thinks about."

"sex. [i don't even remember the second item]. cars."

"fantastic. you've just listed three things that don't interest me. would you care to try again? also you're asking a guy who's totally relationship inept for advice."

"i don't want a relationship. why do guys think they can manhandle me?"

maybe it's 'cause you compete with men like a man. the rest of the conversation was decidedly distasteful for me. someone who barely knows me, who usually makes completely incorrect assumptions about me, calling me up to share her frustrations...

she then used a word, for the fifth time, in a manner not in any way related to its definition.
"i don't think that word means what you think it means."

"so? it's just a word. who defines words? so what if i decide that from now on, the word 'milk' means 'dark chocolate'. no, wait... that's too close... lemme think now..."

"no, please don't. the whole point of speaking a single language is so that we can communicate. if you change the meanings of the words then we can no longer do so.

...

stop."

...

"what do you know?"

"stuff."

"no, come on. what do you know?"

"what are you asking me? do you really think that i'm going to start spouting a whole bunch of random things in the hope of being in the right general direction to prove that my previous statement is correct?"

it took an unfortunately long minute of meaningless drivel after that to put the phone down. i'm still exhausted from the effort of the entire thing, and i have no clue what i did to deserve the experience.