light-headed

 this has been a *really* hard week. i've been feeling shit, and i've been getting really nervous about my mom arriving soon, because after the last two visits i *really* don't want any of us to be sick.

now it's thursday night, mr smear is in bed, and i'm trying to remember what happened.

i also should point out that i've been having trouble with keeping up with the world politically, and i've been kind of taking a mental health break. not properly, and not enough, but kind of.

diet-wise, i've been all over the place this week. but i have been rollerblading a lot, and the days i've failed i've made up for it, i think.

i've really been having trouble sleeping.

monday:

for months i've been unable to work from home with my home network, and it's been very frustrating. after a few hours on calls with tech support - especially the shift manager - along with a helpful hint from my boss, we finally figured out the source of the problem and i can work from my home network!

(it turned out my router had "dns rebind protection" enabled my default)

the climbing wall session in the evening was pretty good. as much as he's getting stronger and better, he's also beginning to get it through his head that "this is happening". 

tuesday:

i had an early breakfast, and arrived at work early to donate blood. they weren't set up yet, so the morning was weirdly shifted. and the nurse who took my blood was fascinated by my being vegan, so i ended up giving advice on both veganism and her son's career progress :P

one isn't supposed to exert oneself physically after donating blood, but our sprint meetings ran a bit late and i had to run to catch the train (i barely made it before the doors closed). i found ze germans without too much trouble, and we had a great lunch while talking about some of my ideas. they seem pretty enthusiastic. i have homework to do.

in the afternoon i had a long, difficult conversation with mr smear's teacher. it wasn't all bad, and it felt constructive, but i'm left praying that she's his teacher next year as well...

wednesday:

resolving an issue with stripe payments, that turned out to not be a real issue but just a UX fail. i'm super impressed by their tech support, both in how professional and helpful, and in little things like enabling me to verify that their call wasn't a scam, and the agent agreeing to forward the recording of our conversation to their product team.

we've had a contractor working with us for the past month, and yesterday was his last day in the office. he's very sweet, and it was an emotional sendoff. with whiskey, after the wework "crème brûlée" happy hour.

today:

today started off alright. i woke up from a bizarre dream where i was in a meeting with elon musk and suggested using the "right hand rule" to employ magnetic force to help launch rockets. mr smear went to school with a pretty good vibe and gd went to her sewing class. i did dishes and listened to podcasts and youtube videos until about 10am, then took the bus to work.

first order of business: a bit of a fight with my coworkers. by the end of it, none of us were sure who was in the right or who was in the wrong but we were clearly all uncomfortable with ourselves and our behavior. the rest of the day was quite positive. and we went out for lunch together and it was really good (i remembered to take my vinegar bottle).

by the afternoon we'd all agreed on what i was doing and that i was going about it in the right way, but there was a significant amount of bashing my head into walls until i achieved a minor success and launched myself home.

i picked up mr smear, put on my blades, and we went to the climbing wall. it was a pretty good experience overall.

bedtime, not so much - mr smear needs to see a doctor for the hole he's managed to scratch in his leg. he's lost all privileges until it heals because he hasn't been able to get over his compulsive scratching, and he's properly damaging himself.

...

i'm VERY happy we're entering the weekend right now.