downer

 today wasn't a great day. yesterday continued according to plan, i got some productive time in after putting mr smear to bed, but i didn't get as much sleep as i should have and what i got done wasn't quite satisfying.

today began alright, i guess, and the weather was less intensely hot than anticipated. i rotated my wheels, rollerbladed comfortably to work, and dived in.

i think the work is what brought me down. by the end of the day i'd finally got a solid handle on what i was doing and why, but not without a lot of mental gymnastics and an uncomfortable moment with my boss, for which i ended up apologizing to him for because i made him think i was angry with him.

by the end of the day i was completely done. the ride home was fine, and the evening was fine, but i've been grumpy and grumpily doomscrolling. i guess a large part of my feelings have to do with the demoralizing lies propagating rapidly through the ether and feeling overwhelmed. what's going on out there is all wrong, and it can't be stopped fast enough.

maybe tomorrow will be better.