the rollercoaster

saturday:

a very quiet, indoors-y saturday. still reeling a bit from thursday morning, oddly feeling a bit concussed (clearly a massive emotional toll) which would last until today. in the afternoon i took mr smear out for a walk, which he decided would be to the climbing wall, but when we arrived we realized that he wasn't wearing closed shoes so we continued on to the port.

we had a bit of an incident on the way there, but we talked it through and cleared the air. he played for a while at a big park, then we walked across the promenade (or whatever it's called on the port itself) and picked up ice creams, which we sat and ate watching the gorgeous sunset.

then we walked home, but halfway back gd asked if we could try pick up dinner on the way. and every place was either closed, or its kitchen was closed, so we doubled back to the pizza bar which mr smear had decided against because we couldn't eat both ice-cream and pizza, it's just not healthy 😂

they have exactly one vegan offering, and it was okay - we split a half-pineapple half-corn pizza and we were both happy (well, my damaged filling notwithstanding). we had a really nice evening, walked home, showered, went to bed.

not realizing that we were going for the pizza, gd had seen my message about everything being closed and made dinner for us... so that would be sunday's lunch, and it was great :)

yesterday:

i worked from home, and in the afternoon i took mr smear to his mma class. the mma class went well, and most of the way home was fine, but just after we got off the bus we got into a really big fight over something really stupid, and not only was i unable to calm him down, but i managed to make things worse.

gd tried to mediate when we got home, to no avail, and in the middle of all that i got a call from my potential new employer in response to thursday's email. after mr smear went to sleep on a cold shoulder, i put myself to bed while feeling completely shit.

i slept really, really badly.

i was awake for the rain in the middle of the night.

today:

i woke mr smear up to the morning rain and everything seemed great, right until he remembered that he was supposed to be angry with me and then the morning went pear-shaped. gd then got angry, but somehow managed to fix things a bit. i left for work feeling... not great.

the work day was okay, i guess. the good stuff was good, the bad stuff was bad.

the highlight of the day, though? i had another chat with the potential new employer, and i've agreed to his counter-offer. it's a bit less money than i'm currently earning, but the conditions seem way better where they count.

i can only hope that i'm making the right call, but i've decided that i'm doing this and i'm excited!

obviously, the deal isn't done until a contract has been signed, hopefully that'll be taken care of shortly.

i did a large grocery shopping on the way home, had a quick shower, and then joined gd for a zoom call with mr smear's therapist while he ate dinner distracted by some random show. it was a helpful session, and left us feeling alright about things. the follow-up was enjoying an episode of gravity falls together and then a really good bedtime, one in which mr smear actually initiated a conversation about the fighting and we had a good talk about it, and i had a bit of energy to read him a shortened version of the sorcerer's apprentice.

i vegged out on the couch with gd until she went to bed, now i've posted this and i'm just about ready to try getting some sleep.