to tears

 today (yesterday, now) was wednesday. i last posted on monday. on tuesday, we got our anticipated rocket attack - it had a very loud precursor in the form of a massive strike to neighbouring areas, and then we all got to scramble before a massive volley exploded overhead.

gd's not managing too well. as in, she's falling apart, not only out of fear and worry for us over here but because she's seeing what's happening in the rest of the world as well. i'm not going to lie, i had a brief vision of what the world would look like without israel earlier and it's pretty damned bleak. and to think that our escape route - canada - has gone from harper's decade of destruction to trudeau's social media news blackout, debanking and out-and-about antisemitism in only a handful of years...

yesterday (tuesday) was mr smear's grade's turn to go to school. i took a break from my miserable task of about a week now, and went to work on something palate-cleansing. kind of. because i ended up being driven crazy until late into the night, and then continued on this morning until i was finally about to piece together all the data and figure out how the hell the requests_mock package is supposed to work.

goddamn.

today was a zoom-school day, and while there were some initial bad feelings it went well, for the most part.

it's also awesome - so awesome that i'm willing to put down money for it - that mr smear has really gotten into prodigy's math game. their tech support stinks, so that's annoying, but the overall impact is exquisite.

our cleaning guy came in today for the first time in a month, it was long overdue even if it was very intrusive while i was busy trying to motivate myself to get back into the misery task.

i made zero real progress, by the way. whatevs.

when saying goodnight to mr smear earlier i continued reading the second harry potter book which we started last night. i don't recall what brought us to discussing changelings, but i asked mr smear if he could prove he wasn't a changeling and the conversation that ensued was both fun and touching. and then i realized he was a bit upset because he'd thought that i actually didn't believe he was him :P

for the first time in a looooong time, gd and i watched a complete movie tonight. golda. excellent movie. best/worst time to watch it.

...

psychologically, obviously the last couple of weeks have been hard - and i'm feeling it and seeing it in another weight fluctuation. i eat 'cause i'm unhappy... in vaguely related news, i'm now very confident that the pain and discomfort in my hips that keeps me up at night is a direct result of my post-surgery compensation by walking heavily on my left leg. it's four years on, and my left's still noticeably shorter and more muscular than my right.