all over the place in the rains

(rains of water and rockets)

 i had a whole lot of urgent and important things to do today, but instead i wasted a good couple of hours running around trying to get security keys cut for our bomb shelter, with zero success. although the second mission did teach me a lesson - not to buy falafel from our "usual" place any more - and not to leave the house in closed shoes without an umbrella. i got caught in a massive downpour, and hid out in a coffee shop that shut its doors right in the middle of it :/

my first day of my last on-call was okay, i guess. the collaborative part went well. it was weird constantly missing the CTO who's (apparently) been trying to speak to me since i handed in my notice.

my employer sent a lego set for mr smear, he was really excited - that was awesome ^_^

gd says we were in the shelter four times today, but i'd lost track by the time she said it. one foot in front of the other. we were interrupted by the siren in the middle of dinner, and mr smear was visibly panicked - that broke my heart. even so, he enjoys going down to the shelter because i let him play games on my phone. that doesn't help when we're - for the second night in a row - interrupted while i'm reading to him in bed... $#@!

i'm also finding it very difficult to balance getting him to do things quickly and efficiently in case there's an attack, and not making him paranoid that there's going to be an attack any minute. this shit is hard.

gd's had two offers from very generous and concerned friends to help us get to montreal. she also managed to get in touch with the canadian authorities responsible for airlifting citizens out of the country. (not very far, but whatever). she hasn't been able to decide whether to actually go or not, though, and it's proving a tough call for her. i've told that i'm happy with whatever she chooses, and i really don't think that us being separated for a short while is too big a deal.

...

a while ago we watched j'accuse!, an incredible documentary about the efforts of my (half) sister's cousin (from the other half) and the granddaughter of one of the villains to get some kind of justice for some of the most brutal massacres my people (both sides of my family came escaped lithuania) have ever suffered. the description of what was done to us then by the lithuanians (before the nazis even arrived) was absolutely shocking. when trying to compare the pogrom of the 7th of october to anything, i find that comparisons to 9/11 just don't cut it, because they don't take into account the personal, vile, evil, perverse and brutal nature of the attacks. the lithuanian massacres, though? that's it. that's the comparison.

we've been persecuted before, we'll be persecuted again. we promised ourselves after the holocaust "never again". well, here we are. "again". the only difference is that this time we're not taking it lying down.

...

i just spoke to my mom for a while, and i'm concerned that south africa's become even more dangerous for jews than it was before - i mean, the whole world just exploded with antisemitism, but in south africa the goddamned president himself is in on it. i made my mother promise me that if things take a turn for the worse, she's to remember that i told her that i'd rather worry about the money to bring her and help than to lose her.

it's exactly what i've been saying the whole time, but i think the current situation is beginning to drive home just how dangerous south africa is.