02/11/03

*** yesterday ***

i woke up around 14.10. really, really needed the sleep. had a really chilled wake-up, as some friends had come over and we were talking while i was eating and doing homework.

i played some good cs, then left for our weekly vampire game. it was much better than the first one - i'm really getting the hang of the character, the people i'm playing with, and the game itself.

i got home, but immediately left with our brit to visit a friend of his. it turned out i'd met him on friday night, and a couple of other guys were there too (one from the wakeup). so we chilled, had some tea, and talked a hell of a lot, about a hell of a lot. we had supper (tuna pasta! although with mayonnaise, not ketchup), and then walked home.
back to argueing with grootbek about dishes. god, this is childish.

*** today ***

i'm delaying my shower till morning - i'm getting up at 07.50 for class at 08.45. oh, goody. it's financial accounting.
i'm now debating whether or not to play cs before bed...

*** later ***

i'm listening to marilyn manson, filled with a need for violence so strong that i keep having to remind myself that if i tear my own skin i'm going to regret it in the morning. and this isn't from the music, that's just fitting.

fucking dibs. they're fucking striking again. but fucking EVERYONE. BUTT-FUCKING everyone. even the banks and the post-office are going on strike. so no cash, and no trains, so i can't go and see her in gedera.
but that's not what's getting to me.

i spent the whole fucking day at university. most of it doing homework, that we eventually gave up on, because it makes no sense and we haven't actually been taught how to do it yet.
slimey bastards.
but that's not what's getting to me.

i'm typing this when i'm supposed to be finishing a report. it's late. but none of this is what's making me feel like i want to find every motherfucker in the city and rip their throats out. slowly. bathing myself in their blood, squeezing every last drop out into the street.
hmmm. maybe manson is making it worse.
i don't care. i think what's bothering me is that it's finally sunk in that i'm back here, in israel, and no longer held in cape town's sweet embrace.

i have so much work to do, and so little time for myself. go on, feel sorry for me. it's not like anyone else has the same problem.

and experiencing technical difficulties with counterstrike doesn't make me feel better either.