today was another day of dreary, mindless work. well - not exactly mindless, but not applying my mind in the ways i'd like. every interaction i'm having with our systems and with my coworkers is making me more - painfully - aware that i'm not where i want to be.
my biggest frustration? how did i fall into this trap, where i've spent months proving myself for a role i don't really want?
once upon a time i dated a girl for a month, and i'm feeling a really strong parallel. i was so focused on making things work, i forgot to check in with myself and see if i actually wanted them to work.
i don't know how this next bit is going to pan out. before i do anything drastic, i need to stop and evaluate: with all of my experiences i've been accumulating over the past few years, perhaps it's time for a real career change?
...
what a note to start a yom kippur fast on.
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