conflicted

yesterday:

my sister's 60th birthday party! it was a beautiful day and my nephew graciously took mr smear into the pool with him, my cousin was being oddly nice (he even complimented my new tattoo) and i had a very interesting chat with an unnamed man about upliftment paradigms.

i was so tired that i tried to rest in the afternoon but couldn't, and my memories from yesterday afternoon are vague and hazy.

today:

my cough let up enough for me to sleep a few hours, then returned with a vengeance.

medicated. frustrated. and after a long chat with a rep for a recruitment platform, i walked into a meeting with a mentor who laid out what my last seven months should have been and most certainly wasn't. i've now stepped back and am going to try to tweak my experience before i give up.

cupcakes for the man who asked me to trade on-call with him yesterday and had it blow up in his face.

coming home late and having a very short time to spend with my son (who was having a great time playing draw a stickman when i arrived), and now trying to somehow decompress before going to bed (but i suspect the meds are doing their bit to make me jumpy)