something

 these past few weeks seem like a fever dream, and any moment that i realize that this is all real is jarring and triggers thin tentacles of anxiety creeping through my torso.

i slept alright last night. mr smear woke me up at 6.30am to dutifully inform me that he'd brushed his teeth so that he could get on screens by 7.30am. i wish he was this motivated to get ready for school.

i got up to him playing totally accurate battle simulator, and watched him for a while, developing my usual concern that he won't play the campaign and actually learn anything. eventually *i* took a turn, and went into the campaign, and he cheered me on* while i smashed through what appears to be the tutorial levels.

* by making sure i knew that my strategies were obviously garbage, and then being surprised whenever i won

i watched a bit of why the universe’s expansion doesn’t make sense, it's very calming.

we watched another episode of jujutsu kaisen, and then i piled warm blankets on myself and read a bit of percy jackson until i passed out.

now i'm drinking coffee, listening to SORA 1989, and wondering whether i should be *doing* something or not. i always have a hard time not *doing* anything, but the *do something* mechanism in my brain seems to be offline.