the void

 the day started off on the right foot, i spoke to the recruiter and learned that she had, in fact, initiated with the salary requirements and that we were playing a negotiation game (which, after hearing from her about their situation, i totally get). then that metaphorical right foot's ankle was sprained when i tried to discuss the offer with my wife, who freaked out before understanding what was going on; that led to a ridiculous chain reaction which almost ended our marriage, and it would take a couple of hours to be able to reel things back in and deal with each other properly. regrettable things were said and done. absurd surreal moments were experienced.

we're okay now, but we're still processing.

what followed was an awkward, unfocused workday that was at least partially successful - great success - but which felt like it could certainly have been more productive overall.

i took mr smear to his second-last session with the current therapist - at least he seems to be doing okay - and went to work from a hotel lobby close by. i was so caught up in a conversation with my mother that i was surprised by a phone call from her asking whether i was coming to pick him up. fortunately i was close enough to un-abandon him within a couple of minutes (in spite of the forever that it took to pay for my drink), and the evening was relatively uneventful even if i did have to check in and out of work a couple of times.

so that was a day. an exhaustion of a day.

...

today's wake up was brought to me by the following:

holy @#!$. this is a one-two combination that clarifies how unprepared the west is for whatever's coming. it's hard not to be creeped out by the sheer scale of what the CCP is getting away with while we all (kind of) get on with our lives 

• Discord: The Most Evil Business In The World
• Sam Cooper: How the West Was Infiltrated by Its Enemies

bonus listen: The Daring Ruse That Exposed China’s Campaign to Steal American Secrets

ugh.

...

physically, i've been feeling so much better since wednesday. like, feeling well, for the first time in ages.

we just did a big grocery shopping, and we're about to go out to sort out a couple of things before shabbat/sukkot. hopefully this will be a peaceful holiday, it helps that rosh yehudi's plans were cancelled by the city after the yom kippur debacle...