a week that was

 parenting failure: it's really hard to wrap my head around the fact that i've engineered a child whose default response to anything i say is "no". he's wired to fight me and the only option i have is to just let go and focus on making good memories. this is not easy.

yesterday things came to a head at shower time, and while we managed to settle a bit as he went to sleep, i woke up at 3am deeply troubled. today was a good day. i feel like a recovering alcoholic - one day at a time.

...

how is today thursday? uhh... or friday, already?

this week has been mad. i've gotten in way less hours than i'd like, primarily due to tuesday's tortuous nightmare at the department of home affairs. i arrived late - 5.45am - and took my place about a block away from the entrance. sandwiched between people coughing, someone with a bullhorn would come out about an hour and a half later to insist on social distancing, but that only held for an hour or two. i was fortunate that my mother came by to drop off a cup of coffee just before 8am, and then a bottle of water at the 6 hour 45 minute mark just as i made it inside. it was a hot, sunny day with very little shade and no place to sit, and aside from a sore lower back and getting badly sunburned on my right arm and the back of my neck i also ended up with mild heatstroke and my brain has been foggy since. an hour and a half later - the torture continuing with no seating inside and an absurd ticket system - i stumbled out of my eight-hour ordeal with an invitation to return in a couple of weeks.

after much anxiety, we've applied for both of the documents that were lost to be reproduced. my mother managed to get in touch with the consul general at the ministry of foreign affairs of israel, but that unfortunately proved less than helpful. and of course, we've had to continue to be super-careful with the consulate as they don't appreciate frustrated responses to their unprofessional behaviour. it may not be their fault that fedex lost our documents, but as they don't require pickup documentation we have no way of being sure.

i had to drop my car off today for a gearbox inspection, not sure when i'll get it back.

*sigh*

although i haven't got much work done this week, it's still been a productive one. there's that, at least.

i should go to bed now.