verge of tears

i have literally just spent the entire night trying and failing to sleep. different pillow configurations, even sleeping on my side, all abysmal failures. and now, just before 5am, i started settling and my leg started itching like crazy. i want to cry.

the past three days have been... rough. i tried to go back to work on monday, that turned out to be very ambitious and costly. the best part was trying to work from my late uncle's apartment upstairs and being locked out of my mom's apartment.

on tuesday i saw the surgeon, who assured me that he'd warned me that i'd need at least two weeks off. mr smear had been cagey and grumpy for a while, and tuesday afternoon he actually arrived at my bed and wanted to play with me which was wonderful.

yesterday gd went in to the hospital for her back surgery. i got some rest in the morning, and was feeling much better for the first time since my surgery, in the afternoon a whole bunch of things all happened at the same time (in particular an uber fail) which caused some stress, then gd's friend arrived to give us a hand just before mr smear woke up from his nap.

he wasn't just grumpy... he cried and tantrumed and behaved abominably for an hour and a half because he wanted his mommy, and it wasn't until my mother arrived that calmed down. i must have spent half an hour of that just consoling him, which was fine, but at one point he was behaving so badly that i literally had to chase him and put him in timeout - on one leg, which physically messed me up and set me back at least a few days.

we went to visit gd in high care at the hospital, apparently the surgery went well but she was very sore and uncomfortable. hopefully she had a better night.