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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

the hatred i bear crutches

i've been recovering from my surgery for two weeks now, and for this past week i've been so uncomfortable and sore that i've barely been able to sleep at night. i've frequently been getting up wobbly, due primarily to exhaustion or being half-asleep, and about fifteen minutes ago i got up when i heard mr smear calling for me and lost my balance.

lost. my. fucking. balance.

i fell right onto my right foot and hit my knee with my full weight, suddenly and violently. the pain was extreme but pales in comparison to how devastatingly demoralizing it is that i might be set back, whether lightly by a couple of weeks or seriously by another surgery.

gd's never seen me ugly-cry before tonight. i'm currently sitting in shock, wondering how i'm going to be functional in the morning and praying with every fibre of my being that this doesn't mean more time off work and unable to be a functional parent.

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