nerve attenuation syndrome

[and here are some things i didn't know about the film]

i was completely stressed leaving tel aviv yesterday: i'd had an excellent morning at cafesito, transferring and transcribing another month of my journal and being joined by my old neighbour and his wife.

she set it off - by trying to be helpful regarding my work situation. i'd been having a rather philosophical conversation with her husband when she dragged me out with a monologue about the puzzles she'd bought for her kids, which i couldn't ignore without being rude. that got me out of kilter, and then i found myself frustratedly trying to explain why i can't be a bartender...

i don't like talking about these things with people who don't understand my situation.
and even if i *did* become a bartender, it wouldn't make me enough money to cover my travels. i have a perfectly good profession, i just have bad timing when it comes to looking for work.

so that agitation is what i took home with me - i'd planned on simply walking in, packing my bag and walking out again - only chc was in, and in need of assistance with navigation.

ugh.

it took me a minute or two to figure out where she needed to be, and i slowly explained the way while she wrote it down. then she read it back to me - she hadn't understood. so i tried again with the confused bit - she still wasn't getting it.

bear in mind that i wasn't in my friendliest mode.

once i'd given up on that method, i took a DEEEEEP breath and drew her a map...

---
the guy i interviewed with last week called me while i was having breakfast, and told me that it was okay if i needed another day or two to decide. after talking to my neighbour's wife, i decided to take the helpdesk job... at least i'll be able to do other work simultaneously.
the boss was happy to have me on board, and informed me that he'd leave me the option for the development job open - at least until he finds someone else. much easier :)

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i took the shuttle to afula instead of the bus, which was far more comfortable - most of the way, anyway. coming over the hills before megiddo was terrifying - the driver behaved like we were in nascar and the torque was freaky - and at the intersection we picked up a character who sat next to me and smelled absolutely disgusting. he was a combination of all sorts of offensive olfactory aggravators, and i couldn't continue reading for the distraction.

i stopped for a shuwarma on my way to my cousin's office, and sat eating it over wired. i was left breathless by the article on how the internet refocuses our brains - it explains my attitude precisely.

i was sent shopping for dinner, and got a little lost... when i asked for directions, i was accosted by well-intentioned over-complicators. oh, well.

---
it all began when we left her office - she asked a co-worker what it means to her to be happy, as if that were a quantifiable, verifiable concept. this set in motion a discussion that went on way into the night, one covering all the bases and ending at a point where it is impossible to know if things (for her) are clearer or not.

...

shame? guilt? when these become your friends, they become your only friends.

---
i was dead tired far earlier than usual. we spent a while looking through her son's photos (we all agree - her other son included - that he should exhibit), walked up to the laundry room (where i marvelled at the number of spiders successfully haunting the rafters) and drove back: i was ready to crash.

i called chc to see if everything was okay - she was still at work, so that was meaningless - and passed out, waking up with the sunlight hitting me squarely in the eyes at around 7am. i sat down in front of the pc to begin this post when a cup of coffee landed in my hands and her other son made an appearance.

he's just come back from india, and regaled us with stories and advice. i was informed that he was on his way to tel aviv, so i decided to put on a shirt and join him and a cute girl who's going to be travelling with him when he continues on to canada. we didn't stop talking the entire ride back, and were so caught up that i sat with them for an hour or so at azrieli to continue.

i walked home, showered, paid attention to all the stupid little things that bother me (like knives sharp-side up) and ate breakfast. now that i've sorted out all the online stuff, i need to decide how to spend the rest of my afternoon :)

---
i now know a little about timbuktu. hmmm... did i mention discovering how to dispose of cooking oil? no? i had no idea.

common sense: it IS a super-power! (motivational posters?)

i was glad to hear some aussie sense, but soon after was blown away by joyce kaufman. i don't think i'm going to need to post more than this one. i don't know so much about point 7, but all the rest? we need more of her!

i live in a country that has become the front line in the battle for our entire civilization, a battle that most of us aren't willing to acknowledge. it kills me that this goes completely unappreciated. i wish us all the best of luck - either everyone's going to wake up, or we're all going to have to take on the mantle of allah. if i'm going to pray, then it's for the former.