male physiology

dammit! why does an absolutely brilliant day have to end on a sour note that takes away all of the enthusiasm for everything that went before? and the downer was so completely unnecessary:
males of our species have an automatic response to failure - find as an appropriate a target as is immediately available and let out all the frustrations in that direction.

chc and i were dancing at the mafteach club, the music was grindingly good and we were having a great time. neither of us are participating in the meat market, just having fun and stomping with abandon... not so those around us. i managed to attract a fair amount of attention (i was informed earlier that it's probably the hair), and one (very fine) girl went so far as to bump into me on the way out to say "i'm leaving now"...

[i responded badly - i wasn't sure if i was supposed to recognize her or not and so i caught her hand and took a good, hard look before deciding that i wasn't. in retrospect, i should have told her that that wasn't the right pickup line]

a number of guys hit on chc, some more aggressively than others. one of them - we'd referred to him as "rambo" - caught her hand to say something to her... she can handle herself, but i didn't like the way he did it. he must've registered my disapproval, because he stood next to me, looking almost at me and making threatening gestures while telling his friends that he *really* wants to slap "this guy".

i didn't respond - because i know how that story goes. my system went on full alert and i was ready to rumble, only i really don't like fighting so i kept it all under thinly veiled control while continuing to dance, not looking directly at the gorilla but not looking away either. while that may have worked out in terms of him eventually backing down, i couldn't turn it off and moved over to the other side of the dancefloor.

that's where i saw who i think was the girl who'd hit on me, being given a joint by some dude whose elbow happened to find me a couple of times. i made more space, and she took a hit... the second hit came with an attempt to kiss her, and she pushed him away in a manner that made it obvious that she wasn't interested.

she was keen on smoking more, though, and by the third hit was willing to kiss him as well. i don't know if that's what really happened, but that's the way that i interpreted the scene and it took a dark event and compounded it with interest.

i told chc that i needed to move, and she began to explain to me that i can ignore everything that happened and keep on having a good time. yeah, i *know* i can lie to myself; but i refuse to lie to myself. it's just the way i choose to be. [i almost wrote "just the way i am", but i'm not falling into that trap twice in one night]

she proceeded to make a speech that got more the secret as she went on, and eventually i'd had more than enough and told her i was leaving. i walked out, waited a few minutes, went back in to say goodbye, didn't find her, and walked home.

i couldn't stop thinking about defending the caveman - i saw it many years ago, and it's completely appropriate. there are things about male behaviour that are simply impossible to explain to a female. no, you can't talk rambo down. anything you do will only make him angrier. he's hurt and hunting for satisfaction - are you planning on calming him down with sex? no? then let it be.

---
so she picked me up with her boyfriend, and we drove through to herzeliya. the first member of the family i encountered was their new bulldog puppy: i'm not a big fan of bulldogs, but their puppies are too damn cute for words... i found it practically impossible to stop playing with him!

the lunch was great fun and the food was excellent; plus my cousin and her friend have made definite arrangements for next weekend's party, so we'll be going together ^_^
the awkward bit was that the gathering was originally intended to be a farewell for an english cousin who's leaving us this week... but it became a release party for me - especially embarrassing as i'd forgotten to inform them earlier :$

i received gifts for my studies: mark twain - the innocents abroad and amos oz - a tale of love and darkness, neither of which i've read and both of which i expect to enjoy :)

i was given a ride to nystire's; we sat chatting for quite a while, until ru55 was getting itchy to head to tel aviv so i had to go. he's given me a book on opengl that may come in handy - adding that to the options of sdl and qt creator i'm going to have my hands full just trying to pick a framework :P

we ate fruit, cherry pie and häagen-dazs before driving to tel aviv, then argued over the definition of hedonism and the threat it poses to our civilization and laughed about how silly the war on drugs is until we got there... we arrived at grootbek's, where i got stuck in front of the xbox for a few minutes and chatted with his wife about filing the police complaint. she thinks i should go ahead in spite of the amount of time that's passed.

i stopped by karnaf's pad for coffee and a chat, then walked home to harry chc out of the apartment so that we could get to daphna and the cookies on time - and *boy* am i glad that we did. they were brilliant! *gushes*

after picking up a decent mushroom pastry, chc took me to a really cool dive hidden away on ben yehuda; after hanging around there for a while, we went to the mafteach...