blowing out

after the additional depravity we witnessed [thursday], and then another attempted mass murder that was miraculously averted [thursday] night, i'm seeing a lot of antisemitism and disinformation on my feeds and it's extremely distressing.

i don't know how to digest what's been going on for the past year and a half - or, more accurately, what's been going on for decades that's finally come to light - nor where things are going, but we've already got too much to grieve for.

to everyone who's got opinions about this tiny little country but doesn't understand where those opinions are coming from: shame on you. for everyone who understands what kind of monster we're dealing with - israeli or not, jewish or not - we have to stick together. there is a great evil in this world, and its greatest trick is convincing the west that it's good, and that good is bad.

it's on us to put an end to this. god knows how, but we have to put an end to this. shabbat shalom 💔 🇮🇱 🕯🕯

in addition to everything else, someone gd believed was a good, reasonable friend sent aggressive messages last night, and that's not the first "friend" to put politics first after being drawn in by anti-west propaganda.

yesterday:

i've been really tired both yesterday and today, and napping or sleeping a lot doesn't seem to be helping. oh! that reminds me - at work on thursday, i was taking care of the dog while someone else cleaned up some broken glass when one of my coworkers walked in. i got up to greet him but standing up too fast made me start losing consciousness, and i literally had to guess where his hand was to shake it because i'd lost the lower half of my vision :/

i rested while mr smear was at school and gd at her sewing lesson. i got up to pick him up from school - he claims he couldn't find his juggling class, so his fridays are become a slack day - and we picked up the new vacuum cleaner and bussed to meet gd at azrieli. in spite of the terrible service, we found a replacement that seems much better and with that we returned home.

gd and i left mr smear to his devices (literally :P) and went to pick up supplements, shoes (to replace the ones that got washed out on thursday), and some groceries.

i was tiiiiiirrrreeeeeed and the walk back home felt loooooonnnnng.

all i remember from that point on was resting and playing pony island with mr smear. and at dinner we watched delicious in dungeon, and after dinner i crashed on the couch before mr smear had even started getting ready for bed.

today:

mr smear woke me up at our normal wake-up time (7am), but i was still feeling really sleepy. i had coffee, played some inscryption and tried not to think too much about the hostage return (apparently all the live hostages have now been returned, but i don't really believe anything about anything any more, which i guess means that in my case the "active measures" were entirely successful).

then i passed out on the couch for a while, eventually waking up for a bit of a delicious in dungeon marathon with the family. some of which i passed in and out of consciousness for.

now it's coffee and play-time again, after a solid roughhousing session that mr smear initiated and i definitely didn't have energy for. it's been a cold and cloudy day and we've no intention of going outside whatsoever.