the vibes

 today was not a great day. some of it was okay, but a lot of it was pretty shit.

a large part of that shit was a bunch of weird or annoying issues at work, and two probably-unintentionally obstructive coworkers. and i was working at home, so there was some unpleasantness initially because mr smear (as usual) didn't get that i couldn't be available for him the entire time.

on the other hand, mr smear did get the hang of his first minecraft command, which he was very proud of. he also - with very little encouragement - made his own breakfast.

gd came home from her sewing lesson very excited about what she's learning, so that's cool too.

in the afternoon, i took mr smear to mma. the first part of the journey was a stuff-up because they've changed the bus route and we had a much longer walk to get there. the second part of the journey was a stuff-up because mr smear got angry with me for something (i'm trying to teach him road safety, it's hard), and then didn't like the fact that his direct rudeness got an immediate and unpleasant reaction.

the unpleasantness became really intense, including a fight with a thornbush that i'd never noticed before, and i got him to sit down and try to calm down and change the mood before we went downstairs to the gym itself. 

we were kinda doing better by the time we entered the gym (although he did respond to "how're you?" with "not good"), and once he was on the mats and seemed okay i went out to call and update gd.

by the time i returned, i found the teacher sitting with him, and him in tears. i don't know what they said to each other, but at some point i found a way to intervene and i took him aside and gave him some support, and managed to get him to go back in.

he switched up and did well for the rest of the lesson, while i sat on my computer mixing all those shitty feelings with additional new ones from my coworkers.

ugh.

anyway, the way home was pretty good, and after his shower we sat down and talked and what i had to say went over surprisingly well. nothing different to what i've been saying before, but we both seemed to be communicating a bit better.

after making *some* (unappreciated) progress, we had an early dinner, watched some more x-men (we're still around episode six of the first original season, but this time mr smear's really into it), and then i read some more goblet of fire to him at bedtime.

i've played a couple more attempts of inscryption, which made me feel pretty shit about myself and my luck, and am now trying to figure out what the smartest way to end this annoying day could be.

...

today was / would have been ariel bibas' fifth birthday. we're waiting impatiently to see what happens with the threats of impending escalation from iran, and have invested some of the day trying to make sure that our bomb shelter's in a reasonable state. gd's really struggling with the anxiety, i'm occasionally looking at news and trying not to be more irritable / depressed / despondent.

tomorrow will be mr smear's ninth birthday.