entrances and exits

 friday afternoon is coming to a close. [as of me beginning to write this] we're waiting for the challah dough to rise, which for the first time i helped (inspired by the big family cooking showdown. some of the contestants made me feel that if they can do it, so can i). mr smear has just put together the most gorgeous pixel art sprites (he was originally going to try his hand and making harry potter, but got distracted), because we now want to make some kind of 8-bit harry potter game. we're still reading prisoner of azkaban, and he's now understanding just how different the book is from the movies. i had to explain to him why they're so different, and that it's okay, and i think he gets it.

i was also inspired to read the first book to gd, because she has difficulties reading for long enough periods of time. so far, she's also beginning to understand the difference and is really enjoying it.

my only issue with this arrangement is that i find it incredibly difficult to read out loud without reading myself to sleep. every goddamned time.

wednesday:

wednesday's workday began with an argument with my boss, and there was a lot of back-and-forth before we reached the conclusions that a) i need to tone down my enthusiasm, because every time i broke through a wall and thought i was almost done i reported that i was almost done and b) i needed to split my ticket every time a new required sidequest entered the arena and c) i needed to write more tests.

in any event, i finally managed to get the task complete by the afternoon. like, for reals. and it looks really good.

i did that while organizing a spa voucher birthday present for my mother, who spent her day on her feet volunteering (as usual) with the DA for the south african elections.

yesterday:

the morning started off rough, but mr smear had a good day in spite of it and was actually able to let go of it when he got home and remembered. the afternoon with him was positive.

it was my mother's birthday. mr smear made a really nice card, and by the time she got the voucher she was feeling the results of the previous day's on-her-feet-ness and the gift was even more relevant :)

on the way to work, i accompanied gd to the bank to pick up her new credit card, which went pretty smoothly.

i was on-call, and had an annoying task first thing. i left the office around lunchtime to have breakfast at home, and gd and i watched my cousin's funeral together on zoom. we now know that our original suspicions were incorrect, and that he got through his surgery and was recovering well. then he got up to go to the bathroom and collapsed, and that was the end of him.

at least he didn't suffer, but was a devastating blow to his immediate family, and to the rest of us.

in a way, it's kind of brought a lot of the cousins together (also literally, in a whatsapp group), and it's a little weird to be in a group with both my brother and my big sister. (it's funny how little things like cheating an inheritance can split a family)

the funeral notwithstanding, i found it very hard to concentrate. all day.

this morning:

i had a long chat with our kibbutz cousin, she's really having a hard time, especially as a travel agent in the current circumstances. they have about 25 displaced families on their kibbutz, so there are things about the war that are front-and-center for them which we aren't always thinking about down in our little tel aviv bubble...

i took a really big step this morning, and decided to just go ahead and post the videos i've put together on the war on the west so far. on tiktok, and on youtube. am i doing this right? i don't know if i'm doing this right, but i have to do something.

i'm really nervous about putting myself out there like this.

mr smear had a pretty good day at school, in spite of the fact that another kid showed him something scary and apparently he's now learned to stay away from the dark stuff (which is what i've been explicitly suggesting for days now). overall, i have to say he's doing okay. we're doing okay.