agents

i am completely useless of late. so many responsibilities, so little energy. we're leaving in just over a week, and my efforts to clean house and arrange everything that needs arranging seem just shy of inconsequential.

---thursday:

i'm really hating this process of extracting myself from the office. the work itself is kinda okay, but the guy that i'm working with is a complete asshole. we simply cannot communicate, he's uncooperative and explosively aggressive, and the boss doesn't seem to *get* that this was pretty much my last week.

their problem. i'm not letting them make it mine.

i returned home early so that i could meet scrapper on the climbing wall. we totally killed ourselves (my fault, i was goading him both consciously and unconsciously), but i learned all about laybacks. i didn't manage to get over the ceiling again, but this time i was feeling much stronger and more sure of myself and the reason i gave up twice was because i wasn't willing to damage my leg like i did the last time (a scrape and a bump are enough of an indicator that i was doing it wrong) and i held myself in place *just* over the edge for too long trying to find a good next grip.

my left elbow's been hurting since before then, but i'm sure the climbing didn't help much.

we walked back to my place, and botchman arrived while i was in the shower. pg arrived back shortly afterwards, and we ordered burgers (mine veggie) and began an anime marathon, eventually detaching from the screen to play some crazy fluxx before all passing out.

---friday:

pg's father let himself and the dog in, and we were surprised to discover that scrapper and botchman had already left, tidying and leaving a note on their way out. after a little more sleep, i got up to return sarah glidden - how to understand israel in 60 days or less to my comic friend, rollerblading through the intensely sunny morning to parts of tel aviv so remote that their cycling tracks aren't contiguous.

the graphic novel is uncomfortably on the mark yet easily accessible. i was drawn in because it focuses on a birthright group and i accompanied one during that same year - sarah captures the experience excellently and frames the political issues in an accessible and rational way. i was about halfway through it on the bus to work on thursday when a certain scene made me all teary; i warmly recommend this book.

my friend gave me some important advice about scripting, and on my way back i stopped for an absolutely delicious vegan toast breakfast at what used to be coffeeholic to begin making the appropriate changes; it took a while to get service, but once they got around to me the guys were great. it was a good start to the day.

i spent the rest of the day on the couch. i watched fahrenheit 451, and am disappointed by all of my friends who've told me i *had* to see it because i've seen equilibrium and that's a much cooler version of an almost identical story. then i finished watching waiting for superman, which is touching and thought-provoking. during these hours i upgraded my netbook to the new ubuntu version; it took forever and thoroughly discarded the netbook-friendly package; i suspect that may be a good thing, though, as my battery indicator now seems to be functional and i *suspect* it's more efficient.

i had a long chat with my mother, and even spoke to my second mum who's leaving for her biological family tomorrow. she's been with ours since forever, so i can't imagine how either of them are feeling about this.

pg and i consumed a lot of pasta last night as a prayer that the FSM will grant my mother an opportunity to switch jobs soon, may she be touched by his noodly appendage, ramen. we also watched a few episodes of romeo x juliet, and we're almost done. by and large it's a great series, but it suffers from a couple of boring episodes and the prima donna shakespeare can be as offensive as he is amusing.

i've started reading david wong - john dies at the end, and i honestly can't recall the last time i so enjoyed reading. ingeniously clever and well written.

---it was a nightmare getting up to take the dog for a walk this morning. i'd had trouble sleeping most of the night, and after returning i crashed for another couple of hours but i was slipping between out-for-the-count and restless. now that i'm up, and i've breakfasted and posted and checked off unimportant items from my to-do list, i guess i need to figure out how to spend the next couple of hours before gaming and a blues brothers screening reduce me to self-loathing.

naaah, i'm just exaggerating. i was pondering what my mother always tells me: "do what you think is right at the time, and you'll never have place for regret". i don't recall precisely where i was taking that line, but it was something in the way of taking advantage of every opportunity to be who you want to be. it's never too late to change.