really?

i don't know where to begin, so it'll just have to default to where i left off:

i slept fairly well, although i was almost woken by my SC telling me that he'd arranged for me to do the peer-review. asshole.

for breakfast, i took a steaming cup of coffee outside into the sun with a book. i was outside all of a half a minute before the neighbour wheeled past and harrassed me for having my shirt off in the cold - it was only a bit later that the wind came up and the sunlight could no longer warm me, and i was almost embarrassed when i had to go inside and get a shirt.

i showered - i still love that shower - and then shaved with a new blade. that was when i realized why i'd cut myself the other night; i tend to forget that these things need replacing :S
my cousin's awkward dog escorted me all the way to the afula shuttle, and as i hopped in my sister called me. we had a very pleasant chat, and soon after we finished talking the driver took us away.

i stopped by my cousin's office to say goodbye, and amongst the things we talked about was dream analysis. she'd had a weird dream, and asked my opinion. i was loathe to give it; dreams are the ultimate in personal and i believe that the symbolism inherent in them can only be investigated from the source... she convinced me to have a go, though, and seemed satisfied with what i came up with.

on the way to the bus station i bought three chocolate croissants, which turned out to be disgustingly sticky. the first two did more than enough to destroy the breakfast pangs, and the last one travelled all the way back to tel aviv without finding a home.
perhaps i would've given it to the weird guy in the station if he hadn't tried whispering conspiratorially. i haven't a clue what he was on about.

i dedicated most of the bus ride to today's meeting, thinking of all the possible outcomes. it's possible that it would've gone smoother if i hadn't - more on that later.

i met up with gn1 when i arrived back in tel aviv, and we had lunch together. our conversation was fascinating and enjoyable, but there were two things that bothered me:

1. i'm not entirely sure, but i think that the wolfman's girlfriend may have slept with spot after the two of them got together. i don't know for sure, and i'm concerned that she may be right in telling me that i owe it to him to let him know.

on the other hand, what if i'm wrong? then all i've done is sow discord. what right have i?

2. i wasn't done, and the waitress took my food away. godsdammit, all they have to learn to do in this country is put knives and forks together to indicate readiness. it's not bleeding rocket science.

on a positive note, i noticed an eyelash on the bridge of gn1's nose and struggled to decide what to do about it. eventually i settled for a softly spoken "don't move", and was incredibly impressed by her response: she froze completely, but calmly, while i removed it. alright :)

i returned home, dropped off my gear, changed clothes and went out to get a certain card laminated. i found a place a block or two away, and it didn't cost very much... the man's just a bit nuts, though. he shouts constantly at anyone who proves to be interested in his services (as in, he didn't shout at someone who was just asking directions).
i was confused by a couple of other customers as an employee - "but you look so confident!". indeed. so?

i hopped a bus for nystire's, and spent the evening with him and his wife sorting out my netbook. i'm really grateful - there were a number of sticky things that happened that i would've floundered with if i'd been alone. the coffee and dinner were nice, too :)

i made it to the bus stop just in time to catch the bus home, and i made it home just in time to get my gear on and join the rollerblading group. for once, ironically, i left on time. it confounds me that if i leave on time, the traffic lights to the cinematheque are all comfortably synchronized and i coast straight through. if i leave five minutes late, i have to stop for most of them :/

1. i was informed that not making it to the race on saturday was fortunate. apparently it was absolutely horrible.

2. the mongoose's friend had a rough first time - the route was particularly long and not an easy one. i'm well impressed that he finished it, and enjoyed it :)
we had a pretty serious heart to heart afterwards... he'd asked me a few days ago how i have so much energy, and i explained to him that spending all his time working or sleeping will crush his spirit. one has to have balance.

3. there's no need to hoot repeatedly when you're right next to people. promise. there's also no need to hurry when you're going to have to stop in twenty metres anyway. there's definitely no need to do both. after a number of altercations with one incredibly annoying asshole, i scrambled to catch up with my mask on - all it took was a mean look and some simple, not-impolite hand signals before he stopped that shit }:)

4. the bottle of beer lasted me a lot longer than i expected.

i remembered to do some shopping on the way home, and the pretty ethiopian girl was really helpful. she even convinced me to get a member card, which i've been meaning to do for months... she just struck me as being efficient, and she really was quick about it.

it didn't take me too long to get to bed, and when my alarm went off at 6.15 it seemed like i'd only had my eyes closed for a couple of minutes. it took a while to get ready.

during the day, i kept forgetting that i'd barely slept after a solid 30km and was repeatedly surprised to be feeling so tired :P

i enjoyed the monkey's wedding, and my ride picked me up less than twenty minutes late. we discussed the pending meeting, and he provided me some confidence. we arrived just in time to witness the kinder being promoted - the ceremony seemed rather haphazard...

we walked back to the section breakfast, which was well organized. our SC wasn't around, and we got to discussing his farewell present - we've almost settled on a giant vibrator with something amusing engraved on it. it's been almost unanimously agreed that i'll be presenting it :P

the kinder and i went to do the peer-review together, and drove the sociologist's assistant nuts. we had a few laughs, and i carried out my threat to fill in my SC's report honestly and withholding no punches, and photographing the results afterwards.

it's time for that bridge to be razed.

i had a slight hassle with getting my base permit renewed, but i kept calm and patient and eventually got sorted out. i was waiting for the bus for a while, and just before it arrived the village idiot came past, and was kind enough to pick me up and take me to the train station - that meant that i had enough time to eat and nap for half an hour before the big meeting.

---
i *HATE* it when someone holds all the cards, and asks an open question. i told him i had no idea where to begin, and he said simply, "just talk". so i did. and then he complained afterwards that i'd told him a whole bunch of things he didn't care about.

my current situation is not good: in order to secure my release, i have to put in a formal request that needs to go through all the correct channels before possibly being rejected. in the meanwhile - i'll be "temporarily" seconded to another unit to do whatever dirty work they need done.

the way things usually go when higher-ups speak this way? i could spend the rest of my service doing lots of nothing.

fuck that.

in the evening, i managed to get hold of my unit commander, and i explained to him exactly how i feel and how little i trust the process. i also let him know that while i don't want to become a "problem", i do understand that that's the israeli way and i will resort to it if i feel i must.

i explained how to deal with the personnel unit (our unit has this terrifyingly naive method of sending them requests and expecting to be served in a fair manner), and we agreed that i'm going to begin with the forms and give them a couple of weeks to sort it out.

after that - who knows. this is not a good position to be in.

---
i met with gn1 for coffee afterwards, and we seem to be getting more comfortable. when she went back to work, i had a problem with payment - the coffee shop didn't have change for me. i drifted about until i managed to organize some.

i came home in a very weird mood. the evening was spent painting, drinking, and talking with gn1 on the phone - we spoke for an hour and a half at least, and i'm downright confused as to where we are. we seem to be good and nowhere at the same time, and have agreed to take things easy. i can understand that it's difficult to get to know me, though, so i'm not exactly stressing :)

this is the result of the first couple of iterations on an idea that popped into my head on my way home:


[things i may have forgotten to mention: the silicone that the handyman left behind actually proved useful, and i'm having trouble with my headphones - the good ones that served me well for a couple of years broke, and so did the new ones :S]

i'm surprised at how late it is, how distracted i've been. i've been a bit spaced out since the meeting, and completely zoned since the conversation. i'm going to get to bed now, tomorrow's going to be the beginning of another unpleasant period in my life.

can i *please* have a frikkin' break?