facing down the date

today began with a slow wake-up. it was so cold that i had to put the air-conditioner on for at least half an hour before i was ready to creep out from the depths of my duvet.

1. no answer: i tried to get hold of my unit commander to update him and attempt to Get Things Done Faster.

2. no door handles, no disc: i went on a mission to find door handles for my entrance closet and the album that michal geva has just produced. i stopped in at the hardware for a quick chat (but no luck with the door handles), and walked to disc center, then the third ear, neither of which had received their copies. i found door handles at the big hardware store on my way back, but realized that at those prices and for the quality i'm seeking i'll be better off making my own.

3. no net, no chef, no limit: i stopped at coffeeholic for breakfast, which was good but not great (prepared by one of the new guys). i continued reading the trojan women while attempting to connect to one of the fifty or so wireless networks detected, but there would be no googling for me. there was, however, a conversation concerning johnny depp's generally sterling performances with its focus on the roundabout scene from fear and loathing in las vegas. and a techina (טְחִינָה) cookie. that was a really good cookie.

i'd had a can of dr. pepper on my pre-breakfast walk, a strong americano with breakfast, and the owner sponsored another one with the cookie. after all, one cannot eat a cookie without drinking something as well.

4. caffeine high: my gears were well-lubricated, i was beginning to warm up, and i needed to shave and get into uniform. i had psychedelik.com's psytrance channel playing, and almost cut myself because i couldn't stop bouncing up and down :)

5. bussing to base went fairly smoothly, mostly spent reading the iliad but some of it spent sleeping. i woke with a nasty start when i thought i'd missed my stop, and that not only brought me around completely but made me realize that i was actually feeling well-rested for the first time in a while.

6. the internal bus is usually a problem, but today there was a total mix-up and we were told to switch buses after having waited for about twenty minutes. the driver on the second bus is well-known for his tourist-bus announcements, and his apology on behalf of the company was quite amusing.

7. signing the early-release request form took a while. it's impossible to know if we filled it out in a satisfactory manner... my SC was surprised, and so was i (i'd forgotten), to discover that today was my original release date. i had to sign on extra for the course i did in 2008, otherwise i would have been handing in my uniform.

coincidence?

the good news is that by the time we were on our way off the base, our unit commander had already received it and he told me he'll be passing it on to the next level at the first opportunity. i'm praying that things carry on this smoothly.

8. i met with gn1 and her brother at an apartment she went to view, and afterwards we had a bite to eat at an aroma nearby. more on this later.

9. in a dark mood post-8, i dressed warmly and snuggled my headphones under my beanie for the walk to the ozen bar. i made it just in time for danny gilboa's acoustic performance, which was solo until he was joined on stage by avner strauss. after a song or two together, he left avner alone to perform the most wonderful dylan-style poetic musings and folksy-blues... with a climax of a psychedelic indian-style (dots not feathers) improvisation that was fantastic and surreal, before being rejoined by danny for a light-hearted country finish. they were both incredible.

10. more brooding on the way home, to hit myself with a solid dose of rum before plucking up the courage to call gn1 again. our conversation was cut short, and i had something to eat and read some very amusing and accurate links from bad astronomy:
this one didn't get away - selling snake oil to intelligent people? possible FAIL.
and phil links to a few articles from science digestive's "from science" series:
dear media
dear homeopathy
dear astrology

we've just finished a two-hour conversation - my ears are burning - and after this post i'm definitely going to bed. it's frikkin' freezing, even the air-conditioner is straining tonight :S

---
everything was great until we began looking for a spot to grab a bite to eat before gn1 had to leave the city. her requirements for food and time clashed, and i found myself slightly exasperated at the futility of the search. this set the stage for what came next.

we finally had an issue about who pays for what, and although i had to be a bit forceful we settled it rather quickly. i didn't give her much of a chance to argue until i was done explaining the "tradition" - whoever's first, pays. [it averages out, and causes way less stress]
the second she caught on to the rationale (and she is quick) she was cool with it.

problem solved, everything's gravy, right? then we got political. the problem isn't what we were arguing, it's how *i* was arguing. i went straight into battle mode, and there is absolutely no justification for that. this isn't the first time i've been told i have a problem with my aggressive stances, and that's what makes it all the more difficult to deal with.

no matter how sorry i am for behaving that way, nor how much i realize that it's stupid and unnecessary to talk like that - i'm lost as to what puts me in that mode in the first place. and it makes things mighty uncomfortable. when i look at myself during the argument in retrospect, i feel like a scared little boy watching his father behaving really badly and not having a clue why. and it doesn't matter why.

as i told gn1 - i'm a bit awkward because i feel really bad about it, but i'm also really appreciative of her attitude; she made no bones about putting me in my place, and although it took a while (we continued arguing, but more rationally) for the internal dust to settle we ended up okay.

...

something the hardware dude said this morning: take any two random people; if they want things to work, they'll work. and i think i really like this girl enough.