sunday bloody sunday

well. i don't remember too much about yesterday. i arrived late, around 10am, i did a lot of learning and playing for a new addition to our systems, and then i did the whole guarding thing.

i couldn't sleep. all i could think of was j-girl, and i couldn't figure out if she was just messing with me or not. and the more i thought about it, the more i realized how strongly i feel about her. maybe it's the masochist in me. so figuring that i have nothing to lose, i called her to just let it all out.

and got it thrown back in my face. at least i know she wasn't messing with me. doesn't really change how i feel, but it gave me some peace and quiet. shit happens, is all.

i decided that i wasn't merely a baby-killer in a previous life. i dropped the bomb on hiroshima. that's gotta be it.

my guard shift - not too bad. not bad at all, in fact. 2 to 6, in the worst place on the base, but one of the patrols stopped by, and we talked for ages. hell, he magically organized coffee, too. and he shared some tips and tricks for our new system which are extremely relevant and useful.

when he wasn't around, i had plenty of time to reflect, and i even stretched and practised forms (with gun, ammo belt and full waterbottle: it was slightly odd). i can't believe i remember them - it's more automatic than anything else.

i didn't go to sleep after the shift, instead i waited with another guard until breakfast. watching the course girls screaming for breakfast was most amusing, total flashback from basics, except we weren't treated so badly. and their commander is this tiny little girl who just oozes full-of-herself.

turns out the quality of the "omelettes" decreases rapidly over time, because the first batch was the first i've been able to eat since getting to the base.

spent the day either laying in bed feeling crap, or drinking sachleb / snacking with the mongoose, or my teammates. not at the same time, because the mongoose has finally had enough of the dog's crap work-wise.

after being released, i went to my office to scramble on some work - i have under a week to produce the presentation for the new system, and i'm not near ready. and my idiot team-leader has given me a project to prepare me for taking over his command again.

as if i didn't prove myself well enough last time. at least he's been treating us alright the last while - i think he wants to leave with the impression that he wasn't such an idiot. it's not going to help :P

i'm finally back. finally about to shower. and enjoy it. even if i'm not - i FEEL smelly.

and soon, very soon, i'm coming home.