still life

it's how i see myself right now. and totally uncoordinated due to sleep deprivation. strangely i always feel "normal" when i'm wiped out and still going strong.

work itself wasn't bad, but there were a lot of calls. i caught a few minutes of sleep in total. aside from catching up with mailing and blogging, and sending my boss an email to say that if he wants work done, he'll have to pay me, i spent almost the entire shift talking to j-girl online.

i walked home, and she's all that's on my mind. emotionally i'm on my guard with her, because i'm totally taken with her and it's still not clear where i stand. it's clear that i'm in a favourable position, but nothing more than that. i've been wondering a lot about my weekend - not going to the kibbutz is a good opportunity to get a lot of work done... but it's also an opportunity to take her parents up on their offer to stay there for the sabbath. i have no idea if it's a good idea to broach the subject with her. these kinds of mind-games are definitely screwing me up, and it makes me laugh (at myself) because i don't mind. that's got to count for something.

i just got home, and i'm waiting to shower. i'm not sure if it's wiser to crash for an hour or two, or to stay up and go straight to the bank. i'll probably nap and pay for it later ;)