monday's child is full of woe

yesterday was a pretty good sunday. we had friends and my mom around for pancakes, i got my next podcast episode scripted, and some surprising tantrums were resolved very well*

* and humorously, too. mr smear punched me, and when i slapped his punching hand he yelled "no! if i punch you then you have to punch me back!". he eventually accepted my explanation that i don't really want to hurt him, and even less so kill or disabled him... once he'd calmed down, he told me he had to open the door "just to let some air in so we could talk"

i tried to go to bed at a reasonable hour last night, but i slept badly and then woke up at 3 or 4am to do battle with his nightmares. this took a lot longer than expected and i was a wreck by the time the sun rose, even though gd had eventually taken over. he was in even worse shape, didn't go to school and ended up sleeping a fever off for most of the day.

me, on the other hand? i thought my day was going pretty well until i walked in to my meeting with my manager and an HR representative was waiting for me. i'm still in shock, thoroughly disappointed and frustrated, after discovering that toxic avenger has been pulling all the strings and the fact that i delivered what was required of me by my deadlines was disregarded and i'm fairly confident i was not judged by a jury of my peers. i now have a big decision to make: do i stay, or do i go? the "program" they've set up for me seems designed to see me out the door, and while i was already starting to look around for somewhere better anyway this just adds insult to about six months' worth of injury.

one thing's for certain, though, and i say this in spite of my current emotional state: i am very, very grateful for my family, and for the many wonderful things in my life. it would be nice if the rest of being an adult could all be positive too, but i guess everything has a trade-off and in general... my trade-offs are a damn sight better than most people's.

maybe i'll stay and play their game. maybe i won't.