yossarian lives

he lives. he lives through me.

there is no face to the cause of all my woes, nobody that i can raise my voice to or lose my temper with because everyone's (apparently) trying to help. there's nobody that i can point at and level an angry accusation: "you fucked me!"

the big chief refuses to sign my request if it contains my reason for desiring an early release, and the HR corps refuses to deal with it unless it contains all the details.

if i complain about any of this, my commanders will simply leave me out of the loop, but if i keep my mouth shut then nothing needs to be done.
the same goes for my work - if i stop working, i go to jail and my release will be delayed; if i do as i'm told, then i'm (officially) productive and the higher-ups don't have any incentive to let me go.

...

the sad thing is that if i'd remained an academic officer, none of this would be an issue - i'd have been released in february already. even if that hadn't been my release date, it wouldn't have bothered anyone to let me go. and no matter how bitter i am about this, there's nothing anybody can do to correct the errors of the past.