reconnection

standing on the pavement
a cool, dark, quiet street
silence stirring my sleeping soul
tugging memories, ancient and raw

a slow breeze lovingly caressing
a cheek remembering fondly life's gay touch
loneliness pantomimed, as moving through
a painting, broad brush-strokes and colours swirled

to be swallowed whole by the night sky
the moon's soft eye gazing in wonder

delayed

i just had a major struggle to get out of bed - i find it incredibly difficult when i've been sleeping to a combination of
sneaker pimps,
radiodread,
sixto rodriguez and
kruder and dorfmeister

what a slow morning i'm feeling :)

hurried linking

just before going to bed, i don't usually have stable net access so i have to abuse it ;)

to arms!
so long, and thanks for all the...
i'm not visiting serbia anytime soon
"greatest living american" - possibly :P

dusting

i was in a hurry this morning, and as i picked up a plastic bag for disposal, some dirty water and clumpy food dripped out :(

in spite of that, and making myself a cup of coffee to go, i still managed to make my bus on time! it was a sign, i kid you not.

i had a very decent day moving desks. i'd warned the guys that it would take more than the proffered 30 minutes; it took about an hour (including coffee break). the only problem is that it took the rest of the day to sort out niggling details, and a bit of mayhem ensued *blush*

i went to do some community service, teaching a 14 year old girl english. she apparently doesn't speak a word, and in the 45 minutes that i sat with her she drove me absolutely batty. i don't trust her in the slightest, i'm convinced that she was so disinterested that was hunting for ways to get the clock ticking faster.

i have no idea what i'm going to do next week, but i have got to find a way to motivate her.

i got back late (like 19.30 - crazy!), and spot and i went to return the video, have supper, and get ice-cream on the way back; all the while ogling young pretties. loooove tel aviv in the spring >D

now, after having fallout 2'd a bit more, it's bedtime!

food cycle

spot and i went out for ice-cream, brought some to his grandmother, sat with her over coffee, and then split up from there. i went to get bladerunner, and he began
preparing the food.

we watched bladerunner while stuffing ourselves with chili con carne; then the
kid whipped out a good watermelon with bulgarian cheese, and things were complete.

now if only i hadn't passed out on the beanbag... apparently i was woken by my bum
falling asleep :P

how is the weekend over already?!

i'm too polite?

well, cag's response just blew me away: i was honest with her and she flung it right back in my face, extrapolated all sorts of trash that simply isn't true... and that was the end of the conversation.

i'm glad that went well.

i decided to take a nap, but instead of waking up around 10pm, it was closer to 10am when i got out of bed. i really did spend the entire day (until now, of course) playing fallout.

oh, yeah, and fighting with the kid about laundry - i've told both of my flatmates not to hang laundry outside during migration season, and the friggin' birds crapped on my overalls. spot was sarcastically saying how it must only happen to my clothing, because nobody else has had a problem with it... so i woke him up to show him a shining example.

cute cards

mommy's li'l retard

so i went to meet spot at the cafeneto last night, and i found him sitting with one of our neighbours - quite fascinating discussing music with someone in the appreciation business :)

i began playing fallout 2 when we got back home, then took a break for a couple of hours to go be disappointed at the cocktail room.

spot and i ended up walking the entire way, because the bastard minibus taxis wouldn't stop for us. one of them even went out of his way to tease us, pulling over, then moving forward, and then zooming out as we approached.

it was a kiddies party, bleargh. when i told ta2 that i'd had enough patronizing music (the peasants were enjoying it), he switched up, but it was too little, too late :(

we took a taxi home around 1.30 / 2am, and i carried on playing until 5. when i realized what time it was i put myself to bed, then woke up at 10am to taunt and cajole (screaming, shouting and banging on doors included) the kid and spot until half an hour later we were on our way to find a computer store.

we did find a few, and we now have an idea of what's going on, but the highlight of the morning was breakfast. we found a place a minute's walk away, super cool and with brilliant food. it blatantly panders to caffeine addicts like us - pity we never found it before!

we missioned off to dizengoff center, and bought ourselves framed movie posters (bladerunner, boondock saints and spiderman 3) for our living room, and i acquired some art supplies ;)

i ran into quite a few people that i haven't seen in a long while, that was fun too.

spot and i bussed back, went shopping, had chocolate-soya coffee, and i've been playing fallout 2 since. that's a lot of game-time :D

during the coffee preparation, we were discussing the fact that the stove was hot... and two seconds later i went to clean a bit of spilled milk and lifted up the plate with my goddamn fingers.

now i'm going to call cag and see about saying goodbye. although it's gotta be pretty damn obvious if we haven't spoken since tuesday night.

fuzz

just as i was closing my eyes, my phone rang - my previous TL with a request for assistance. fifteen minutes later i passed out cold.

this morning was a bit of a shocker - spot actually got up soon after i did, made breakfast and coffee, and went so far as to speak of going for a run. the coffee definitely boosted my morning, though - we're boiling and foaming banana-flavoured soy milk ;)

today went far smoother than yesterday, although that wasn't very difficult and there were still a few time-slots that i was completely wiped out and kept passing out.

i had a quick chat with my TL when i got home, and it looks like we're starting to share a viewpoint on where things are going. i did some messing about with the gimp and am utterly impressed by ubuntu's interfacing with my digital camera. i'm even more impressed by the quality of the photos that i got from the drive back on tuesday, although i know they won't be interesting compared to those that i took with ru55's.

i was going to nap, but i guess that'll never happen :P

worst behaviour

... and i can't believe it's midnight already :S

i didn't nap on monday evening, and a couple of hours after posting the three of us went to rabin square to see what was happening. crap music and not too many people, so we took a walk and got drinks at a kiosk before heading back.

to be even more disappointed :(
i'd been expecting something along the lines of last year's.

we went to la gufra, to eat waffles and enjoy the fireworks with the mongoose's ex. the vibe on that side of the square was much better, and we didn't have to listen to the crappy music from the stage. just after i'd ordered, the girl from saturday night [cag] called, and i navigated through the crowds (narrowly avoiding a fight with some arsim) to meet her and get back just in time to share the waffle.

the kid and spot left, we sat for a short while and then took a bit of a walk, then returned to my place. i'm going to leave it at "things went really well" and we both enjoyed ourselves enough that it was a mad rush to pack everything and leave when ru55 arrived at 1.30am (i'm SO glad that i'd more or less organized everything before posting, including making sandwiches), and we gave her a ride home and then left to the desert.

ru55's gps and my phone's ability to record conversations really saved us, and we made it there in good time (we arrived around 4am). we went in, got our night gear sorted out (it's frikkin' FREEZING in the desert) and walked to the party. good stuff, we went to see haltya and he was playing a great set when we arrived. he had another set scheduled for 8am, specifically to introduce us all to his soon-to-be-released album which is why he was brought in in the first place.

at around 6am the music stopped, and we just assumed they were taking a break until sunrise. i don't know why we assumed that, it doesn't make any sense. we spent a couple of hours milling around and enjoying the view, along with everyone else, but at 7.45 we began to suspect that something wasn't right.

and it wasn't. the police had, very quietly, come in and shut down the event. we found haltya, who was walking around even more shocked than we were... it's so unbelievably disappointing that israelis can bring in a great dj and "forget" to organize the correct permits :S

at least our fellow fans tried - some guy brought in his car and put on one of haltya's discs, and everyone was bouncing around. when the battery died, a few people jumped to get it started, and they started up again ^_^

so yeah, we left. as disappointed as we were, we got to enjoy a fun and interesting drive back going the long way around (including pit stops at some really educational places), and after ru55 stopped to help some old people change a tire, we pulled in at our friend in pituach for the traditional independence day braai (barbeque).

there were even more people this year than last, and i didn't even get a chance to nap. hell, i didn't even manage to get food! i spent the day milling around, chatting with friends i haven't seen in a while, swimming and meeting all sorts of interesting people (including a really cute austrian girl, and it turned out we'd met before), and at 6pm mmf gave me a ride home.

i had a shower and put myself to bed - it was definitely about time. i still can't believe that i survived that long without a serious crash.

...

i was totally messed up when i awoke to my phone ringing around 11pm. i was a total wreck, and i should've just said good night, but cag made me feel bad.

that's when the warning lights should have begun flashing and the sirens screaming. i dragged myself out of bed to make super-strong coffee, then walked to meet her and go sit over dinner at a coffee shop in the area.

aside from shitty service and an unimpressive BLT, it was all well and good. we came back to my place, and were sitting and talking for a couple of minutes before she suddenly got demanding: i've known her for a grand total of a couple of hours, and she already wants some form of guarantee that we'll be going for the long haul.

it was at that point that i should've thrown her out with a "have a nice life", but i'm sticking with my excuse of being less than functional and i tried to make the best of things. hell, we even got quite intimate but there was definitely something wrong... around 2.30am i walked her out, said goodbye and tried to ignore her whining and guilting, and came back to pass out - discovering that she'd left an earring behind, which i suspect was left on purpose.

all i can think of is how i met your mom's crazy eyes - i'm hoping i'll be able to identify them in the future :S
to any women reading this: YOU CANNOT FORCE A RELATIONSHIP. if it's not enjoyable and natural, then it's not worth it. don't ruin it with unnecessary pressure.

i don't know how i got out of bed before 6am, and i was totally wasted the entire day. exhausted and dehydrated and braindead for all intents and purposes, the caffeine simply couldn't do its job.

we had a wonderful 1.5 hour lecture on sexual harrassment before leaving. i'd share with you how great it was in detail if it hadn't sucked so much.

irritable evening; my network card's screwed, i'm pissed off about last night and my screen resolution in linux has gone haywire. it got better after a great cup of coffee with spot and then going out for more coffee (do we notice a trend?) with the austrian girl who until tomorrow lives across the road - i helped her out with moving, which was quite fun :)

hyoo-mid

it's actually at 50%, but close enough. sooo tired this morning, and it's unpleasant being on time for a shuttle that isn't coming.

i made up some time for yesterday, spent way too long testing efficiency with nystire (thank you nystire for testing with an infinite loop: good job :S), and even toyed around with an odd model for text-based rpg's... because - that's - very - important...

we left a bit early (read: fled as soon as the commander left) to sit in tel aviv for a bit, and i did some shopping before coming home to run laundry^*, call the girl from saturday night, and take a nap. i just had a shower, am about to hang out the washing, and possibly take another nap :)

^* my bastard flatmates have adopted an incredibly frustrating technique of stuffing the laundry bin so that
a) it doesn't look so full and
b) my stuff somehow ends up crushed and forgotten on the bottom

the leg-spoons have spoken

leg-spoons

that was a long time i just spent on my feet - there were a LOT of people. it was a good ceremony, although it could've done with a few less songs and it would've been fine, but i have to say that that is the largest number of beautiful girls i think i've ever seen in one place... and it's not exactly the right vibe for being flirtatious :S

i've officially been in the army around 6.5 years now; i always feel awkward about memorial day because the most i've ever had to worry about physically is a chipped tooth (with photos - i finally found the post), a slipped disc and not enough exercise.

it's most definitely bedtime, sayeth the legs.

fly and burn

i'm not sure if anyone interested missed the update, so here it is. i'm always intrigued that there are people who don't know me personally who find my blog interesting; the hits have been peaking these last two months (O_o)

yesterday's post delayed due to lack of connectivity and need to sleep:

on friday night we did our traditional movie-ing thing, and as is becoming the norm i passed out during the movie. fortunately the movie was jarhead. i like jake gyllenhaal, i'm a total fanboy of military movies, but i'll be damned if that wasn't one of the most boring movies i've seen this year.

i spent a large part of my day stuck in fallout 2, having epic battles and really enjoying my story ^_^

the kid went for a run, so i kept pace with him on my blades (i wasn't in the mood for real exercise). it was highly entertaining, ignoring the upsetting bit where i was focused on the wrong traffic light and almost got myself run over, and ended with excellent ice-cream and much amusement with the super-cute ice-cream girl :D

unknown was a good movie. barry pepper drove me nuts because i couldn't figure out where i recognized him from :S [we were soldiers and battlefield earth]

i had a long chat with my mom, and i'm still smiling about the fact that we're both doing just fine. it's been such a long time, and if i actually spend time thinking about it all i think i might weep openly.

the kid and i went to return the movies, and we met a really cute american girl (my age) whose company was most enjoyable. we ended up sitting there for an hour longer than was smart sleep-wise, but it was great fun.

we rescued the kid's car from the impound lot, and i ended up getting to bed around 2am. bleargh. and i didn't sleep well at all.

today:

sleep deficit! not only did i miss my shuttle to the base (although i somehow made it on time anyway), my day began with me stepping outside and having some inconsiderate, six-legged and winged little bastard land in my coffee. i dabbed it with a finger to remove it, and it came out a lot faster and less visibly than i'd anticipated - i was convinced i'd managed somehow to dunk it deeper and that was a serious waste of much-needed caffeine :'(

i got through about four hours of work in the nine i was there today. i was extra-specially slow. but it was a more or less fun day nonetheless.

regarding the officer who broke the dog-tag:

a) we were discussing pan's labrynth today, which he saw on friday night. he laughed, recalling the scene with the mandrake root as hysterically funny. the man needs therapy.

b) the poor kid came back for his dog-tag in the afternoon. he took it remarkably well, i was totally embarrassed about the incident (in contrast to the offending officer's smugness).

back to the present: starting soon is the memorial day for israel's fallen soldiers. i'm off to see if there's a ceremony at the rabin square. a part of me is considering going in uniform, but i think that's just unnecessary.

iron ON

i dreamed a satellite phone was ringing this morning. it rang twice. then my phone rang and woke me up, with nystire mumbling something about arriving in a minute.

this was before 10am. i am jake's raging, vengeful hangover.

we had an hour or more of me waking up, being cheerily verbally abusive as is my natural state, got spot ready, played a couple of rounds of tekken and then all slithered off to the central bus station.

i finally found boots! w00t! and not too expensive. i unscrewed the queer metal plates on the heels, and they're pretty much standard gear now :)

we all split up, spot and i going through to south tel-aviv to check out prices for mass-producing tee-shirts. the first place was a tad iffy, we got a price list and the work's a bit better than iron-ons at home.

the second place was decent. i began by offending the guy, we spent 2.5 hours sitting and talking (the word boisterous springs to mind), and when we walked out spot reminded me that we'd gone in to get prices, and we'd walked out without. but we know that he's the guy to do business with - he sells quality and he's an extremely interesting character.

we bussed home, then took books and had breakfast at cuppa joe's, sponsored by the zionist federation of south africa. after all the shit they put me through^*, they should have sponsored me a lifetime supply of free breakfasts.
it was a pleasant meal, a lovely afternoon, and hyperion just got GOOD (as in, really good).

i was going to take a nap when we got home, but i've been online since... shameful.

good idea!

^* those are just some links citing specific examples, without going into detail about the appalling conditions of the temporary apartment, their general bad-attitude, and their policy of swindling defenseless and already poor immigrants

roots - completed

teaser posted: 4/20/2007 04:34:00 AM
i'm too tired to write right now, so here's a teaser ;)

• cafeneto aggression
  spot and i both had to wait for the banks to open, so we sat over coffee killing half an hour. at some point some creep sidled up and demanded a cigarette. i look him in the eyes (although i had sunglasses on) and refuse to give him any. he could at least have asked, but i didn't particularly want to give him one.
  not only did he shout at me, in his odd, raspy, i'm-totally-fucked-up voice, but he sat down next to me and cursed me out for two minutes, repeatedly demanding a cigarette.
  spot and i were both convinced that he was going to pull a knife on me, and unfortunately the frames on my glasses interfered with my peripheral vision - i should have removed them.
  he never actually requested a cigarette during the entire tirade.


• base visit
  
  • comp-sec-shock
    the first familiar person i came across saw me from across the road as i was entering the base - she waved hello, and then physically JUMPED she was so shocked to see me (new uniform, rank, and most people thought i'd been released).
  
  
  • commanders
    i caught my previous TL walking out, having not received my email informing him of my visit... lucky, that. would've been the second time we've missed each other.
    i then paid my previous SC and BC a visit, and it felt really good to give them a positive report and to thank them again.
  
  
  • team
    awww - i missed them :)
    it was good to see the sergeant who took me under his wing in the very beginning of my service, and we had some good laughs while catching up.
  
  
  • missing mongoose
    the primary purpose of going to my old base was to visit the mongoose and sit with him on some graphics. i got to his section to discover it all locked up, and when i called him he informed me that they'd all gone off for the day.
    brilliant.
  
  
  • cute girls
    still so cute.
  
  
  • cheeky certificates
    nystire had requested a favour, and the girl whose job is to organize what he needed didn't stop giving me attitude the entire time; it took effort to make light of the situation and get her to be semi-helpful :/
  
  
  • wedding present
    i finally gave the wedding present that i bought in south africa for the wedding in november. took long enough, so i was a bit excited :)
  
  
  • chocolates
    turns out i arrived on my ex-teammate who we joined for the concert's birthday and the return of another ex-teammate from thailand... so i was invited to eat chocolate and listen to amusing stories about elephant crap being flung all over the place.
  
  
  • sexiest girl released
    the sexiest girl on the base? not any more - i bumped into her as i was leaving, all dressed up [OMGOMGOMG]...
  
  


• cute girl on the bus
  as in, one of the cute girls was on the bus with me, which made for a pleasant trip ;)


• hour from entrance to office


• ice-creaming
  the weekly "drinkage" that i sponsored went down extremely well ^_^ [a good impression, even though it wasn't my idea]
  when i got back to my office, i found my change (a bill) placed under my mouse. i commented out loud on my mouse's new profession as a stripper - the guy who placed it laughed, and my other teammate came around all confused... only he didn't find any answers because i'd already pocketed the note :D


• dog-tag fight
  i picked up some poor sod's dog-tag the other day, sent him an email and left in plain sight with instructions to give it back if he came to collect. now i'll admit that not leaving a note with it wasn't too smart, but one does NOT expect an officer to walk in, see it, break it in half and throw it away.
  those things are frikkin' HARD to obtain, and all because the officer in question couldn't be bothered to ask.
  we spent a good little while screaming at each other, because i cannot stand that sort of mentality, and he couldn't understand why it mattered.
  i can't figure out if the rest of our group was more upset or more entertained by all the excitement.


• personalization
  i finally brought personal effects into my work environment - certificates and other amusing things to entertain visitors. it does make a difference to see the little reminders.


• ...
  a bit of work and a bit of coffee (with supper at some point) while waiting for the ceremony to begin.


• ceremony
  a good ceremony, not lame and tacky and untidy. and the thing that got to me was that it's one of the first ceremonies that i've been to in israel where everybody actually sang the national anthem. i HATE it when people just mouth the words or mumble softly.


• cafeneto - crazy survivor
  i joined spot, then a friend of his joined us, and finally the kid arrived. we had some pretty funny conversations, the highlight of them being crazy survivor:
  a) find a bunch of nutjobs and hobos off the street, and leave them in a completely deserted town / industrial area / whatever according to the standard survivor formula.
  b) the winner gets a warm meal, a shower and nice threads.
  c) the top X survivors (after a warm meal, a shower and putting on nice clothes) then get their own "special" season of the apprentice. now THAT'S crap that i would enjoy watching.


• flag raising
  it's memorial day and independence day coming up, i brought out my flag and we're flying it high :)


• dragging the kid
  no, no. i had to LITERALLY carry and manhandle him, kicking and whining, to get him to come out with us instead of going to sleep. we're still laughing about it because he'd been about to put on pyjamas, and didn't have keys, phone or wallet >:D [hell, he was lucky he still had pants and shoes on!!]


• walking right
  my nose knows, my sense of direction amongst even the most confused of streets in tel aviv is definitely alright ^_^


• fun night - the kid's bitch
  it was a nice party, we had fun (and a tad too much to drink). there was a really foxy girl that i'd been staring at (and who'd been eyeballing me back), and i was a bit concerned that what appeared to be her boyfriend would take exception - although to be honest, he looked dodgy as hell and i wouldn't have minded giving him a beating.
  at some point she walked past holding his hand, and stood on her toes to give the kid a kiss on the neck, then carried on... we were all confused, and i was convinced that she was doing it to mess with me.
  boy, was i wrong.
  a bit later she came off the dancefloor with the ponce, and when she got to where we were standing she simply took the kid's hand, let go of the scaly one, and dragged the kid back to the dancefloor for sloppy make-outs.
  GO FIGURE.
  we all agreed that if she ended up sleeping at our place, we would all spend the morning walking around in boxers just to mess with her. pity she didn't, that would've been fun [spot and i were discussing it later; if she was confused enough about the previous night we could always ask her if the kid had been better than the rest of us ;)]


• the long way home
  we were wasted and it was a long walk before we eventually took a taxi to get sambusak, because at 4am that's really important.

it's absurd, but whenever a song like alice cooper - poison (i) or nin - closer (ii) is playing in a public place, two things happen:
a) my imaginary girlfriend (i) or "victim" (ii) makes an appearance for the duration of the song. she exists only in my head.
b) i see any cute girl in the vicinity as a potential realization of the fantasy created by the song.

GENIUS!! - she really is... *perfect*.

we were curious: the ad-lib from aretha franklin - respect is either TCB or TCP, the former being "Taking Care of Business" and the latter being "This Coloured Person". just so's you know.

scrubbers!

getting to the bus stop was fine, but the second i hopped on the shuttle to the base i dozed off, and when i got there (at 7.15am) i remained in that state for another hour. then we spent an hour or so scrubbing and polishing for a major inspection, and five minutes before the commander of our corps arrived to visit us - we fucked off for lunch.

that was a tad odd, in my book.

i met up with spot at cafeneto on the way home, and after setting down my things i went for a really enjoyable blade. chilled, and i discovered some interesting little nooks and crannies.

since coming home i've been back online, but more catching up than actually doing anything. i'm all ready for an easy day tomorrow :)

linkage! [as in, i finally read some of my news]

looks superb - pity i can't watch the trailer... oh, wait. i have windows too. i'll do that later :$

i'm betting that this stupid bastard REALLY wants a gamer to kill him, sacrificing himself to prove his point. as much as i'd like to see him tortured and silenced, you gotta hand it to him for saving his ass with the same bullshit that's endangering it. and he keeps making it worse!

something old, something new
a bright beginning!
electric communication

spit bubbles

aka zoning in front of the monitor

i don't remember too many interesting things happening today, aside from a rocking idea concerning the nutritional value of semen and a lecture that made my inner child want to scream and hide in a corner somewhere, slit his wrists and bite off his tongue.

i think i had plans for this evening, but i spent it messing with my system and communicating. i'm *so* boring. and i'm sitting here wracking my brains trying to think of what i'm forgetting :S

i also spent a lot of the day brooding over the last incident with sunshine.

-- edit: oh god. i didn't mean for the title to tie in with the nutrition thing. oh, and if you don't see the orange box then refresh until you do, their ads are buggered. --

hunting biscuits

it's true. everything's prettier in linux. i've finally installed it, and phase one went smooooothly :)

i've hopefully gone through the last bits of the horrid hayfever thing, i felt much better today. although that is off a low base. i got up on time this morning, skipped second breakfast in favour of another half an hour's sleep, and kind of did stuff during the day, when nystire and i weren't being obscure and laughing our asses off.

the siren for holocaust remembrance day only went off for about twenty seconds... that was super weird.

i'm still amused at sneaking up on nystire and pouncing on his container of choc-chip cookies, gobbling them down while dragging him along as he tried to wrest them from me ;)

and i managed to trade english lessons for improved conditions to getting an army driver's license :D

when i got back to tel aviv, i went looking for a comic book store that must've closed down, so i took a walk looking for boots instead. i finally found a belt to fit the pants i bought, but no boots. i scarfed down a laffa on the way home, then hopped to installing ubuntu.

nystire assured me that the installation wouldn't take more than twenty minutes, but i got through a lot of hyperion and a half an hour's nap before it was ready. just as i was about to log in for the first time, spot called and i went down to cafeneto, where we sat laughing over some of the silliness from the day before i solidly crashed and burned - wait, make that got napalmed by sunshine. i just never learn.

it's now past my bedtime. but seeing my pc looking so pretty is beguiling...

the truth

i was wrong. we watched prestige, which is a great film (both the style and the story), and i was back home and getting to bed around 3 - 3.30am. unfortunately, i set my alarm clock to go off an hour after i should have, and so missed the shuttle. i did make it ten minutes early for a helpful bus, only that bus arrived 25 minutes late.

when i made it to the "one stop before the base", there were fifteen people waiting. 45 minutes later the original fifteen were still waiting - not a single bus had stopped for us - and we'd been joined by, i'm guessing, about another hundred or so. i was lucky enough that someone from my group recognized me on his late way, and i managed to get a ride. so i only arrived about an hour late.

great hayfever - i was COMPLETELY stuffed today, and barely got any oxygen to the noggin. that kept me pretty much useless. i ate too much lunch, and passed out at my desk repeatedly for what i'm guessing was about an hour :$

at least nystire's double-shot coffee got me more or less in a better way, although still with the snarling nostrils. i went off to do some volunteer english-teaching, but the kids didn't rock up so i returned to base, and somehow managed to be productive and relatively intelligent for the last hour.

nystire and i took the shuttle to azrieli, did some shopping, and then split up - i bussed home, ran ubuntu's live cd (impressive, but i only have *just* enough memory to install it and not enough time tonight), and met up with spot to go to cafeneto. their hurried closing is what reminded us that tonight / tomorrow is holocaust remembrance day. le oops.

we made our own coffee, sat downstairs to enjoy it, met a new neighbour who seems kinda cute, and then i came back up to struggle with ubuntu and get ready for bed. i tried blogging from it, but i don't have enough memory. i tried testing the multimedia (a simple mp3), but i needed to download codecs and eventually i ran out of memory. in short, if i had more memory i might've had a most cheerful experience; as it is what i've seen i like.

and i'm blown away by the auto-detection - microsoft wishes it had built an OS this tidy.

two thoughts to leave you with:

"Oh, bother," said the Borg, "We've assimilated Pooh." (thanks nystire)

int FALSE = !(1 == 1); (could the author have been sober???)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

a short note on my personal attitude towards holocaust day: i won't listen to music, and i'll ponder the bloody capabilities of (in)humanity [i believe that it's in our nature to be that fscked up] that we will always have to deal with.

and i'll wonder why it is that there are people who think that it was a once-off, and that we've learned from our mistakes. and at the same time people who misconstrue necessary acts of self-defense as stemming from the same absurd desire to placate a warped superiority complex.

in general, however, aside from the music and the amount of time spent thinking about these things are the only differences between today and any normal day for me. the simple fact that i'm in israel is a constant reminder to me of the degrees to which racism is tolerated in this world; my two favourite examples are hate-mongering islamic sects (and there're a lot more than we'd like to admit, and we admit a lot), and the current south african regime.

sounds of silence

or "the internet on just 256MB a day"

spot has *JUST* figured out what's been wrong with my pc - the RAM's been fscked. for a LONG time (long enough that the warranty is voided... how convenient.), and there's no reasonable explanation for it having worked in the first place. so now i've had to toss a RAM chip, and i'm going to need to buy a new one. but again: how the hell was it working in the first place???

so to sum up my weekend: it was very, very quiet. i went off yesterday morning to teach the new girl how to work with my code, and aside from some of the more complicated things i managed to get her to understand what's happening. it was interesting to go through it all like that, i'm actually quite impressed with what i produced in spite of my general state of mindlessness at the time :)

i took a slow slouch through to bograshov, visited a gaming store (bored me, to tell you the truth, although i'm impressed at how many games are available for the wii), and went into the store suggested by the cafeneto girl.

the snow-gear blew me away - beautiful stuff, but i don't have to worry about that just yet. i found awesome pants, and was all shopped out before i realized that i'm going to need to buy boots to go with them :P
so that's next week's mission.

i returned home, napped a couple of hours, visited spot's grandmother, came home for a bit, returned to spot's gran for dinner, went to la gufra to visit the mongoose's ex (due to a misunderstanding, and it turned out she doesn't work there anymore), then slouched to movieing, for brandy with cider and a video.

we rented domino, and we rented it because it stars kiera knightley. i passed out about halfway through the movie, though :( [i'm doing that a lot lately, but at least this weekend i have the excuse that i haven't been breathing properly due to the sinusitis]

i woke up this morning and watched the movie properly. it's awesome. then i watched the special features, including a short documentary on the real domino harvey and a short bit about the director's style. so i watched the movie again, intending to focus on the style, but i ended up getting caught up in the story again.

what a fantastic bloody movie! if you haven't seen it - DO SO.

i then took a walk back to return the video, returned home and put on my blades. i did the park (it's becoming a habit), then stopped by cafeneto for coffee before coming home. i didn't have my shirt on, and got a good laugh out of it because sunshine was a bit stuck when she saw me ;) [i have a feeling that she wasn't expecting someone like me to be sporting a piercing and tattoo]

i showered, and then spent the evening reading hyperion and listening to good music. around half an hour ago spot cried "eureka!", and although it's weaker at least my pc's useful now. in a bit i'm leaving to watch a movie with mmf and SxS, and i *think* that i'm ready to face the week.

i'm so going to find a sealed perspex container for my RAM, and label it "pandora's box: EVILS INSIDE".

throat itch, throat scratch

i can only imagine that i have a throat infection, because i cannot recall mine causing me so much trouble before.

and i can't say that i don't deserve it.

so i didn't get around to trying to install linux last night. the story pretty much ends with me running partition magic and going to brush my teeth. while standing in the bathroom, i heard a soft beep, and so i walked through to inspect. some weird error number.

cool as ice, i call spot. "don't panic," says spot, "i'll handle this. it'll be fine."

i walk back to the bathroom. after a minute, spot calls out: "okay. now you can panic."

when citing all the reasons for not switching to linux, i clean forgot about this one: any pc i deal with magically becomes infested with gnomes. sinister gnomes that attack without warning. i'm only safe if i don't appear to be doing anything hardware-related.

so i tossed and turned in dead silence last night, and when i did wake up in the middle of the night i couldn't see a damn thing without das blinkenlights on the go.

i had a fun chat with our group commander today, so i'm guessing he's alright with yesterday's events. i learned to bullshit in hebrew today. today i promised myself to introduce one of the ignorant girls on base to graphic novels.

i went to the bank on the way home, to discover that the ass-hat who i sat with two weeks ago didn't order me an updated credit card, and i spent twenty minutes fighting with the useful guy before getting to the point where i understood what was going on. and what's going on is stupid - i'm a member of two groups who use the credit card as identification, and i can't have both labels on my card. so i have to choose.

i came home, changed, read a bit of hyperion (started getting into it), then met spot at cafeneto. sunshine introduced us to an ex-south african girl sitting there, which was interesting, and when we were done there we went shopping, then came back here.

it looks as though there's a chance that spot can recover the data from the corrupted drive, and now that i'm done posting i'm putting myself and my 'orrible throat to sleep; i gotta go back to my old workplace tomorrow to teach my replacement.

upsetting the boss-man

grrrr insomnia. i tossed and turned for half an hour before deciding to read myself to sleep, and although that kind of worked it wasn't proper sleep - more like horizontal zombie-ing. at least i was more or less in one piece in the morning, but it's frustrating as hell.

well done, me! i sent an email to my group today, including our higher-up commander, and i forgot to include a disclaimer. the response: "in my office, now." the second i got what it was that had upset him, i began apologizing and agreeing profusely, and then i had to send another mail that just ruined the effect of the first one :(

work today: a lot of the day staring at the screen, and in the end producing about six lines. i can bullshit documentation just fine in english, but in hebrew i'm just friggin' lost. that made me unhappy.

i walked around the whole day wearing (and feeling) the ankle-weights. then i got home and went for another run. i ran just over half an hour, and i was seriously feeling it - it was only later that someone reminded me that it's not good for the knees... i wasn't thinking about my knees, it's my leg muscles that are doing all the hurtin'.

i was going to go take a look at clothing shops in azrieli, but spot and i ran into one of the girls from cafeneto and she gave me better directions. so it was tacos for supper and decent coffee, and now that i've done the internet thing i'm gonna partition my drive and maybe even go so far as to install linux.

that is, if i don't pass out.

is this funnier than it is sad?

post-holiday trauma

i began yesterday by staying in bed three hours longer than i needed to. just because i could.
i watched casino royale, which wasn't totally awful.
the kid went for a run and i bladed alongside to carry the water and egg him on.
the three of us had a double lunch.
the kid and i went out for ice-cream. the girl at the gelateria is adorable!

i suddenly realized that now that i have all this free time, and summer's coming and i'm going to be able to enjoy it properly for the first time in many years, i have time to think about stupid crap and prepare for an early mid-life crisis! yay!

all the cafeneto girls were on duty yesterday, and i found one who could help me out with advice regarding clothing and accessories. i've decided to get myself sorted out with an actual clothing style :D [and yes, it's me, it'll be an odd assortment of goth / geek / hippie]

our landlord came over for the rent, and i wrote out my first cheque. odd!

spot and i went by the atm, and i discovered that the army seems to have sorted my salary out. seems to have, i'll have to check it out further, but it makes this month a lot easier :)

last night i was preparing to write about having found "a warm puppy", but that thought was smashed by the frustration of having my net connection going down in the worst way. we only just got it sorted out, and that's after discovering that one of my apps managed to change my damn settings :S

fight club led me to believe that insomnia can be caused by dissatisfaction. i guess on a subconscious level i don't know how to cope with my life being good, and this restlessness is driving me demented!

today things on base got back to normal, and i'm totally happy with where i am. and i managed to cause a flurry of mass emails through my old section with one well-timed phone call ^_^ [the kid would kill me if he knew how self-satisfied i am about it]

i wore ankle-weights the entire day, but as i wasn't really very mobile i didn't pay much attention to it. i went shopping when i got back to tel aviv, and bought myself a proper keychain (although i'm shocked as to how much it cost), and then went home to change into running gear.

including the weights. for the first twenty minutes or so i wasn't certain that i was going to make it, but then i got comfortable and carried on for another ten. i stopped to stretch, then turned around and my return home including a full sprint for about four hundred metres, and i didn't slow down to walking until i was a few metres from home... i'm TOTALLY proud of myself!

my legs are TOTALLY killing me!

i stretched, showered, met up with spot and had falafel for supper, we sat over coffee, and now that i've satisfied my addiction and calmed down a bit i'm going to take a look at installing ubuntu.

go figure, huh?

predictions from the british ministry of defense: para-NOI-a
george lucas EAT YOUR HEART OUT! serenity named best sci-fi movie

endless beeping

it only took me 3.5 hours to get out of bed this morning: i was completely bombed. sending my commander an sms to report on my absence was awkward, there's no justification for that sort of thing :( [obviously i'll just have to tell him the truth...]

i went to the bank, and now possess a chequebook. i walked slovenly the entire day - at first i didn't have a choice, but then it simply felt good. i think i'm going to start slouching. i'm slowly becoming less self-conscious, but i'm still a work in progress :P

while spot went to the bank, i went hunting for a new keychain (fruitless search), and then we walked all around the city looking for a place to have breakfast. on the way, we walked past that great bookstore - spot's never been in there, apparently, and i walked out with three hardcovers because the dude there simply didn't leave me with much choice... he just keep throwing awesome books at me!

we then ran into that waitress from last summer - she's not entirely unattractive, but not as good-looking in broad daylight. i an' i be wit' da skippin', mon. she actually made me feel bad about the whole deal :(

in looking for a relevant post, i came across this one. well, it's about nine months later, and i was spot on!
now if i only i felt that way about all my posts :P

we sat reading over a good breakfast on dizengoff, with occasionally decent eye-candy and really bad service. i hate getting the feeling when a waitron walks through that they're looking everywhere except in the direction of my table.

the weather was really nice today, so when i got home i strapped on my blades and went out for a spin - it was great! i had a shower when i got home, put on the marty friedman disc i acquired, threw open all my windows and doors and read myself to sleep.

then woke up when it was already dark, with the music still blaring for all the neighbours to hear :$

i got an sms from her while i was sleeping, and it was so completely impersonal that it just brought out apathy in me. i sent the response with a smiley face, but i lied.

right now i've got the munchies and i'm totally addicted to qc.

rockin' on!

i just got back from the marty friedman concert - he's absolutely AMAZING. my ears are bust, my legs are sore, and i gotta be up in a couple of hours... but man, oh man, what a fantastic concert! ^_^

the day was consumed by cleaning the apartment and watching pan's labrynth (great movie) while eating far too much brilliant home-made nachos.

supper at SxS's last night was good, dessert at our friend in pituach's was good too, and then i was dropped off to sit with spot and a buddy of his for coffee before renting the movies. we put on the other movie (all the king's men) when we got back home (after running into magist and having him join us), but it's such a slow movie that i just passed right out.

dust on the beach

i did nothing last night, just read webcomics after sitting with my flatmates over coffee, staring at sunshine's ass.

it's such a nice ass.

i met up with SxS early afternoon, and we went to the beach. it was fun; i saw her sister there, she prodded my chest and informed me that i'm sunburned.

at least i wore a hat!

tardiness and wasting thursday

21:30
the adrenalin rush that i'd intended to write about at the time has long passed, the connection between us and those thar intarwebs is so bad that i've spent the past hour trying to upload the photos that i took at the time when my heart was still girlishly beating wildly.

i was seated on the head when i felt something buzz my leg - i gently flicked it, and it landed quietly and calmly about a foot in front of me. we have a tiny toilet - when i stood up, it suddenly sprang to life and started tearing around the area, and i hadn't even managed to pull my pants back up before i was frantically defending myself, waving arms and legs like a man in a very loose straight-jacket.

i managed to, erm, calm it down, and spot and i took some photos before flinging the poor thing out the window. it only took a couple of minutes to edit them to my liking, and i've been reading webcomics while waiting for the server to stop screwing my around... with no luck.

the day itself was cool - except when it wasn't due to the heat wave / dust storm that's settled. bad, bad pune-ing, i'm sorry.

another day begun with exercise, but my legs ached during its entirety from last night. i really enjoyed working today, i learned a lot. lunch was most impressive for an army base.

nystire had finished pouring the coffee, and each of us had taken his cup, when suddenly i heard an odd glooping sound - as he lifted it, his glass cup had separated cleanly from its base, with hysterical results. adding to this was him phoning me as i got home, to inform me that it had happened again.

nystire: STOP DRINKING COFFEE. it's a sign, man.

i stopped off at the bank: i'd arrived on time, those times being listed and the bastard last week had assured me that i could come back this evening for my cheque-book. doors locked and barred >@

my legs had been in a particularly bad way on the busses home, so i went out for a jog - something about lactic acid? my legs are doubly sore now :'(

thursday night? what do i do?

*throws lungs on the ground, roughly*

i just got back from a serious run, had a good shower, and i'm wondering if sunshine will accept an invitation to go out for a drink. i'm betting on a negative, but i don't really care too much (although i'd obviously rather bring her home and have my way with her. TMI?)

i have to remember that i'm on the happy-happy joy-joy side of manic depression. no wait: i don't. i don't care! w00t! *hysterical laughter*

ignoring sushi for lunch, an ice-cream mission for dessert and the intricate details of waking up, i can describe my day with the following analogy:

today, i built a solar-powered robot. magnificent artificial intelligence, full awareness of his surroundings, and excellent manipulation and perambulation skills, with an enticing, bright-red button to initiate the start-up sequence.

and after repeatedly pressing the button, i discovered that i'd forgotten to connect it to anything. so no, my poor little robot doesn't actually do anything.

but i'm definitely more comfortable with my work environment :) [and i had enough time during compilation to personalize and beautify my software environment: it's the little things like green-on-black that make me happy ;)]

question: which is worse, dandruff or peeling? it's pretty much the same thing... [and i can't seem to stop scratching my noggin, i will learn one day to wear a hat when the sun's out :S]

nystire's contribution (dude: lay off the bashquotes!)

rewind and pause

so i've been facing backwards with my eyes closed for the last very long time. i've been rewinding and watching everything in slow-motion and i haven't really learned anything new, as i already possessed all the data available - i suppose i've been wallowing. so a short while ago, spot and i were sitting outside having a cigarette, and i had the genius idea that made me laugh out loud: at myself.

it's time to get smart again.

now it's time to see how much i can live in the moment.

in honour of this wonderful breakthrough, i'm going through the last 48 hours backwards:

1) watched two good movies, back-to-back: the covenant (fun film, great cinematography, just didn't like the fight scene), and the departed (sheer brilliance and a great soundtrack to match).

2) had iced-coffee at movieing, met a girl who recognized me from university days, after a long and pleasant walk from the basketball courts.

3) got some exercise on the basketball courts for a couple of hours, after a serious walk from home.

4) lost an hour of my life to web-comics (sam and fuzzy (not so much, not my style), questionable content (cute), staccato (cute), megatokyo (what?! how have i not been reading this, you ask?)).

oh, yeah, and these are from a whole bunch of responses:
this
and this (i leave it to the watcher to follow the chain further)

5) slept a good ten hours, after showering after coming home after drinking rather a lot during a fun run at the cocktail room. i actually brought myself to flirt with a girl and it went badly.

6) the passover dinner was great, as usual. too much food. and then dessert with chocolate mousse and pavlova.
i haven't seen her in a while, and i think i've missed out on quite a bit. at some point she just out and said (and i had no idea!) "yeah, i got a tattoo."
and when everyone freaked out she said "what? totalwaste's got one!"

YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!

aside from it being a really cute tattoo, i've had her on my mind since :S [i really would like to get back together with her, and i really won't be able to broach the subject]

7) walking to the pick-up point took me way less than i anticipated, so i waited for way longer. at least the weather's been good :)

8) i discovered that instead of wrapping paper, i'd bought special sticky laminate for drawers and things. i wrapped the chocolates with that because it's all i had and i was in a hurry.

9) siesta with pink floyd in the background.

10) a great hour or so sitting alone, reading a book at the cafeneto, having a roast-beef sandwich and coffee and generally enjoying a really nice early afternoon.

11) leaving the base a bit early, after spending most of the morning sitting and talking crap with nystire and another guy in the group. at least i'd arrived first, and actually got an hour of work in :)

and now, back to the future! i get just over four hours of sleep. starting... NOW.

all business

now that i've thrown my entire evening to google's reader, i'm feeling up to the immense task of documenting my day.

1) maybe inspired subconsciously by fight club, but last night was sponsored by a well-timed bout of insomnia.

2) i moved SUPER-slow this morning, and somehow made it on time anyway. heck, i even managed to make breakfast and do some sit-ups.

3) i can count six cigarettes i smoked today, which is far less than the last couple of days, but far more than it should be. i've reached the conclusion that quitting smoking right before hitting a major transition phase wasn't the smartest idea ever.

4) i ate too much chocolate today. there's no hope for me.

5) i decided to pull a lame april-fool's on piles; an hour or so later the kid called me up, because it had filtered through to him and caught them both out - and the kid was at home on holiday ^_^

6) at the beginning of the day, one of my co-workers taught me something new and then jokingly warned me not to forget X, where X seems like a ridiculously obvious thing to do and quite hard to skip. i laughed, thinking that i wouldn't be caught out like that, but i suddenly realized this evening that i now have egg all over my face.

7) i was totally hyped by the time i left the office; it was a good day at work. i stopped by azrieli to buy gifts for tomorrow night (passover with kc's family at her parents' place), but there were so many crazies jamming the mall that i just did a quick pass through and escaped as quickly as i could.

8) met up with spot on the bus home, and we stopped off at the cafeneto for an animated recap of the last couple of days. sunshine spared me five minutes, most of which was consumed by a slightly awkward silence.

9) a journalist who remembered me from a previous job over a year ago caught me on my way out, and i sat and chatted with him for a bit before going shopping for chocolate. chocolate makes an appropriate gift, but i think i need to wrap it :S

10) as i said, i totally wasted the evening. and now it's time for bed. during the last couple of hours i've been considering the possibility that i really have changed a lot since i arrived in this country. it's not that i'm not interested in the same things, or don't maintain the same viewpoints (in general, of course): it's that i've finally gotten my life prioritized and i've gotten used to denying myself things that i desire.

so used to it, in fact, that i need to unlearn making myself miserable - i don't need to keep such a tight leash on myself anymore.

universcale is cool. i need a bigger screen.
cute video, ridiculous concept: the wiihelm

moo.com: after a couple of great-looking designs, i scrapped them because i have that much faith in online credit transactions

a space junkyard, for the child in every one of us