a forest and a broken heart

alright. i just got off the phone with j-girl, which was one of the more difficult conversations i've ever had. i called her up to tell her exactly how i feel. it was a bit silly, really, because i knew i was doing nothing more than getting it off my chest. nothing's changed, except now she knows exactly how i feel.

makes me feel all vulnerable, like. she took it pretty well (although it was over the phone, so kind of hard to tell), and said we'll continue talking about it tomorrow. i suppose all that's left to do is get over her a bit and carry on hunting.

which kind of makes me sad.

back to the day:

i got up at 5.30... wait. i lie. i woke up at 6 after abusing the snooze function. i was out the apartment by 6.30, and within 30 minutes had arrived at the induction base. half an hour later the dog showed up, and our section commander picked us up and we went to a forest near jerusalem.

we spent the day doing really entertaining team-building exercises. considering the fact that we've all been working together for the better part of the year, there wasn't much need, but it was fun. although, to be honest, i'd still prefer to have done some more work today. in fact, we spent a lot of the day discussing how we're going to proceed with the system.

oh, and they fed us. they fed us WELL.

our section won all the activities, and the prize was a free bungee jump. now, it was a team-building day, so surely they should have given EACH of us a jump? we've decided that instead of killing each other to use it, we're going to sell it and buy a hi-fi system for the section. the sooner the better, because the scout and i are planning on sleeping on base most of next week so that the course we're taking won't stop us from making the deadline.

the funny thing is, that when we get to the deadline all we need to show is a slide presentation with the potential capabilities. what we want to show is the system actually working, with the two most difficult screens already done. and it looks like we may get it right!

the scout and i got dropped off at the induction base afterwards, and i came home and worked a bit on the medsupply project. half an hour later the ceo and my contact rocked up to define the test data for the finished product.

instead of doing that, i gave them a demonstration of what exists so far, and we had an extremely enlightening discussion of how things really need to work and what's missing. it was most productive. aside from the fact that they're quite pleased with me (even though most of the system is still theoretical :P), they told me that it's high time that i decide how much money i want so that they can begin paying me.

i'm going off in about half an hour or so to the lizard for their alternative music night, and to work a bit on their site. oh, and to drink. a lot. my conversation with j-girl really was a strain. and without her as a good excuse, i've got no real incentive to quit smoking. so i'm disappointed with myself.

sometimes life just isn't fair. i find it harder and harder each time i realize this to accept it. it sucks just wanting things to be different.

speaking of fair, i forgot to mention yesterday that i spoke to the south african zionist federation yesterday about my apartment, and they've told me that i don't have to worry, i can stay on after my contract is over for four months, because they're not sure exactly what's going to happen due to all the renovations. not only do i have less pressure (and none about apartment-hunting), but it turns out that the rent increase won't hit me so hard because of my soldier status.

that's good news right there!