pain and suffering

nothing hurts more than the realization that your job is, while not entirely meaningless, not at all fulfilling. i am deeply dissatisifed.

by the time i got to signing up for my uzzi, i was ecstatic - i DIG guarding! it's such a good break, and very pleasant being stupidly social for hours. due to heavy sunlight, we ended up performing the procedure in the shade on a road, and so i had to stand guard... very amusing.

i totally didn't realize that there was an alert call for 16.45, but the commander was really cool, and let it be. i spent the evening sitting and talking with a really good group of people, getting in a total of one hour's sleep. we ordered thai food, and gorged ourselves, with much to spare... at least i had something to munch on during the shift.

the guy guarding with me did something that annoyed me at the very beginning of the shift, and we got into a rather animated argument about social responsibility. things settled down into a remarkably (see? i'm remarking now) interesting conversation, that lasted the rest of the four hours. i spent the first part simply probing and pushing his buttons, trying to get an idea of his psychological profile - it was most pleasing to watch him respond relatively predictably, and the whole thing was enjoyable. it was a great shift.

i read some of brian greene - the fabric of the cosmos, and crashed for an hour. my alarm went off, and i rolled straight back into slumber. suddenly, i had a strange sense of urgency, and i awoke and looked at my watch: 07.50.

NO!! everyone's gone to the flag-raising ceremony and left me here alone! NOOOOOO!

i jerked upright, and when my eyes adjusted i realized that EVERYONE was fast asleep - so i asked out loud if we weren't meant to go the ceremony. someone mumbled that we didn't have to, because we'd forgotten (!!!) to take the flag down in the first place.

everyone lay back down calmly. i sat there for a few seconds, looked at my watch, and asked "and when are we supposed to go on alert?"
one of the guys, said "07.45", realized what he'd just said, and everyone BOLTED out of bed, scrambling to get out and to the meeting place.

and we all made it just in time. i am SO satisfied with myself.

the day was simply AWEFUL. the (to be continued, must run)

(continued) damn - i just remembered that there's a "save as draft" button...

anyway, we all went on alert, and i spent an hour or so chilling with all sorts of people at the cafeteria. i then tried to get a haircut, and the dude (nice guy, seriously lazy) told me to come back in a week. all i want is a buzz.

the airconditioner in the barracks is busted, and we suffered the entire afternoon. breathing soupy air and burning up in near hot-coal heat.

sucked.

on our way to lunch, i got an sms telling me to check my email - from my boss - when he should KNOW by now that i'm an email addict. then i got a voicemail message from one of the guys who works with us, telling me to call him urgently. between the two of them, i was sure some disaster had occurred, like somone being hospitalized or worse.
instead, it was to inform me that there's a bug in one of the systems.
bastards.

whoever was responsible for the walkie-talkie left it in the barracks, so we weren't allowed to return our weapons. it was left to me to save the day - which was really weird, i think it was because of the incident this morning.

the cute girl who guarded last week was sitting with a guy i'm friendly with, so i sat and joined in an animated (lots of hand motions) discussion about her breasts.
interesting.

i met two ethiopian soldiers on the bus back, paratroopers serving in jenin and hevron, and they made the journey home extremely interesting... it's always fun hearing good stories told well.

did some work when i got home, and found out about the netanya bombing. i don't know how i feel: i'm torn between apathy, hatred, and frustration.

my aunt got in touch with me, we're going to meet up either on friday night for supper, or sunday / monday, when i'm going to see my cousin playing waterpolo :)

i made it just in time (after posting previously) to see war of the worlds, which was an incredible film. absolutely classic. and way more believable that a lot of the trash we've been getting used to.

the dog made a comment after the movie that was army related, and was absolutely shocked when i took it seriously. he and the kid have been fucking me around army-wise for weeks, ever since they found out i was going to be left in charge, and they've been making me look bad to my commanders.

so tomorrow morning, i'm going to have a talk with them that's going to suck for all of us, but i'm not taking any more shit from them. they haven't behaved like soldiers at all, and either they'll start tomorrow, or they'll pay for it. i'm hoping the latter won't have to happen.

but it makes it even worse that the dog and i are friends, because what i have to say will be as far removed from friendly as anything.

on that note - my aggression - i'm going to bed.