bye bye brat

news of the day: i finally had it out with chc, after becoming increasingly irritated by her over the last while. we'd arranged to meet (she really wanted to, i didn't know what was up), i'd explained to her that i was leaving work to meet with her, and she stood me up. i wasn't even impolite... at least i wasn't until she sent me an sms explaining how she was so disappointed and had been looking forward to seeing me - she'd try again today.

i replied with a curt: "don't bother, i'm not giving up money that i need for a maybe - probably not."

"you're being reactional and bratty. why? i've spent the entire day doing for others and haven't had time for myself. i'm not doing this on purpose"

"you see? that was the incorrect response*. i think i've had enough of wonderful chc, the ever-flowing and perfect and better than all of us yet still quite inconsiderate of everyone around her. i'm not used to giving up on people, but i'm sorry, i just don't have time for you anymore - i hope one day you'll understand."

* as usual, the only correct response was silence. she couldn't have known that.

it's just... it's hard to do a quick review and understand just how manipulative and insincere someone has been, and to know that a part of you was aware of it at the time but you still maintained hope. i became suspicious about two weeks ago, but every sentence exchanged and every inappropriate random encounter since she "left" has made her seem less and less trustworthy.

i let her know today when i had my locks changed. i wish i didn't have to throw that money out, but better safe than sorry. she'll finally be coming on friday (apparently, but now that doesn't bother me) to pick up her stuff.

---i began yesterday with a run to secure the poster (50x70) - it came out *beautifully*, and inspired me to consider making a syndicate one as well ^_^
[although i'll wait a bit before shelling out the cash for it - like, say, when i have a real paying job]

i found the visa guys (not the embassy), and sat down with them to fill out the forms and... and not apply, because i'd only brought one passport after they'd explicitly told me that i shouldn't bring the other. i found myself decidedly disappointed by the service.

the hours at work were spent setting up the development environment and failing abysmally. the guy in charge came down to check it out personally, and got even more frustrated than i had...

i returned to meet with scrapper and botchman (our storyteller); we shopped [and i wondered about flirting with women at supermarkets], cooked (not a bad meal, far better than the previous one) and proceeded with a brilliant session that was as awesome and fun as it was painful and complex. the storyline's really clever and our characters kick ass, even when they're getting theirs handed to them in return :)

---i was exhausted, and was actually nodding off during the tail end of the chapter [my character had been knocked unconscious, and i was manifesting that :P]. the guys asked if i was alright, and i could barely manage a response. after sorting scrapper out (he crashed on my couch instead of driving home) and saying goodbye to botchman, i climbed into bed, and lay restless the entire night.

today was simple:

1. get up at 7.50am to hand in my passports for the indian visa application.
2. sit online until i could eat breakfast
3. fail, once again, to put eyedrops in my eye. i wouldn't care much if i could re-try, but that's not a good idea with steroids
4. discover that the excess fee on my stolen camera is just about as much as the camera costs :(
5. shuffle (seriously) to discover that i don't get a free month of medical travel insurance because i got released after age 27. i nodded off in the waiting room because i was feeling so pap - i don't understand why my heart was racing when i walked in the door :S
6. shuffle home, contemplate napping but instead find a locksmith - discussing politics with the locksmith while he works? meh.
7. breakfast and wired. another brilliant month :)
8. slow blade to work, deal with more environmental issues*
9. convince an anti-vac mom to at least read the material** i sent her
10. eat dinner with singer and the cycling girl i bumped into two weekends ago - we've agreed to learn to ride down stairs together :)
11. argue with singer while waiting for her bus, and decide that i probably just shouldn't talk to people. chatting online seems safer. and less loud.

* environmental issues:
infinitely recursive directories
i think i'm finally onto the primary problem - flex builder has some severe inconsistencies with defining a debug environment for any app that needs to run on a web server. i only arrived at that conclusion because i eventually gave up and switched computers, only to find myself facing the same damn problem :S

** there're a number of important things to note, and cool articles to read
wakefield's interests
the war on science
the placebo effect (the conversation turned to alternative healing)

---it's nice to hear sugar man playing from a co-worker's speakers :)

---beautiful: i'm suddenly reminded of justina robson's selling out; it's like a combination of the demon market and spirited away

isn't ted supposed to be about ideas? this dude's dancing is impressive, but i don't get why he's not on "somewhere's got talent"...