Wednesday, February 17, 2010

i couldn't

i've never really thought about it. it would've been nice if i hadn't thought about it out loud with gn1, because that caused real friction and neither of us have totally calmed down yet.

"spare the rod, spoil the child" is an interesting piece that articulates a couple of points really nicely - in particular the distinction between a spanking and actually hitting one's child. to be fair, i wouldn't know where to begin defining that distinction and i'm extremely uncomfortable with the topic.

i don't actually believe that there's a "right way" to raise one's children, because i've never come across anyone who could tell you what to do for any given situation and would already know the results - we're all a little more complex than that.

on the other hand, i do believe that there are "wrong ways", and i won't spare a moment's grace in saying that beating one's children is one of them. so is being too lenient.

the bottom line, i guess, is that i don't actually have much in the way of an opinion on how to raise little people. but i do know that the very idea of hitting someone - regardless of their relationship to me - upsets me. enough that i cannot imagine myself so much as spanking a child of mine, and for the first time i find myself able to identify a bit with my brother as opposed to merely understand.

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unfortunately, this argument has brought gn1 and i to a rather precarious situation - if i wasn't so agitated about the whole ordeal i would be appreciating the fact that we've gotten to a point where we mean enough to each other to be as upset post-argument as we are.

she's satisfied with my personal attitude, but vehemently against my opinion on child-rearing in general, and i'm frustrated at how difficult it was to express my feelings to her because she contextualized and added meaning to things that i was saying when i wasn't able to articulate myself (in any language, switching to english wouldn't have helped).

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