jogging

i woke up very soon (about 5-6 hours) after i went to bed - deliberately. i sipped some water, put on the gear and went for a 7km jog. i didn't wear my watch and didn't mark the time, i just carried on until i got to a good point for stretching, and then comfortably increased my pace on the way back. the weather was warm and fairly bright, the park was crowded with the scouts having a rambunctious sports day, and i was accompanied by great house (most notably house mission vol. 7 - aural gummiberry juice).

i caught up with the big bang theory and how i met your mother, then picked up a beer and a pack of brownies and sat overlooking the beach listening to janis joplin and bob dylan while writing and sketching and contemplating the new alcohol laws:
i'm convinced [*holds up sign for cynicism*] that the war on drugs is a part of a conspiracy to return our concept of beauty to that of victorian times by only allowing us access to the drug that increases caloric intake.

i passed out while watching the merchant of venice - i'm well pleased that the version i obtained is the one with al pacino and jeremy irons :)

gn1 came over, and we decided on a sushi run - ze sushi was awesome as always, the sushi chef and i made more concrete arrangements, and i had a very cool evening with gn1. i started to pass out while we watched a few episodes of invader zim - which she digs ^_^

...

my legs were killing me from the run, i couldn't get comfortable the entire night.

...

we were woken up this morning by my new SC (the usual ride), and i filled him in on the current situation and tried to make sure that he understands the futility of trying to find me another job until my release. it turns out that the idiot woman who's sitting on my request is on holiday - which explains the delay. this will not be the first time she's caused me meaningful hassles.

some tea, my valentine's day gift, and a pleasant walk to her car. we stopped in at a pet store - it's run by a woman that i had an incident with a few years ago, and i feel awkward about it every time i see her. at least this morning things were civil, even friendly, and she didn't make any weird remarks in front of gn1 :)

i just got back from the city council, and have decided not to do any heavy lifting today :)

bar hate

bt was tending the outside bar, but she was distracted and the bartender with her was a douchebag. the guy inside was fairly helpful, but the girl he was with is a miserable cow and made every effort to piss off as many patrons as possible.

and all i wanted to know from her was how to find the damn toilets.

i was really agitated, i gave up and walked off, and ran into lipgirl who was on her way back inside and convinced me to come check out the best band of the day. as much as the crowd bugged me, and even though the sound was crap (although the band from the last post sucked regardless), they were really, really good - i'm glad i stayed after the first three songs, which were kinda boring.

lipgirl gave me a ride home, and i learned in the car why not to divulge even approximations of my salary - she suddenly realized why i'm not particularly stressed even though i'm earning about a third of the salary i'd command as a civilian. it's not enough to go out every night, but it does get me by. at least she's no longer embarrassed about me buying rounds :P

we discussed the whole service issue and she's even more hard-and-fast than i am about tipping: if the service stinks, so will the tip. if the waiter is vocal about the tip being disappointing, the tip decreases and the waiter gets an explanation. it's sad that in this country that's not generally understood.

i got irritated with some jerk who blocked access to the sidewalk with his car - he looked at me and asked if everything was alright, and i told him exactly what i thought of his parking skills. it suddenly occurred to me that it would be great if someone were to spraypaint the underside of his shoes and walk over the bonnet of any idiot's car that's parked that inconsiderately. if i'd been in a wheelchair or had a perambulator i'd have been forced to go around the whole damn block just to cross the road :/

via penny arcade:
the daddening of videogames
the heavy rain trailer: creepy game design
english rules - KO!

bird dropped

scrapper and i had a quick bite - i went for the beer and pastry combo, then i went home for a shower and found a table to wait for breakfast girl and the irish and english components of ze germans. things got a bit complicated, primarily because bar gurion's breakfast takes three minutes from order to serve (and it's a *serious* breakfast) and the others chose pretzels that took more than twenty.

after a great breakfast, a couple of us met with ze german who identified with my plight a couple of nights ago, his fiancee and breakfast girl's friend from last week. i organized a round of tequila and had cider with rum (my new favourite place - it's on the menu and isn't ridiculously priced) while talking a lot and discovering that the fashionista friend is also into indie and had details of a good set of shows happening.

i went home when everyone else did, and sat online for a while. i spoke to my mum for a bit, then gn1 called to say that she was too tired to meet up, so i got dressed and managed to catch a shuttle after being crapped on by a bird.

nice.

i don't know who's playing right now, but they suck so i'm sitting outside until they get off the stage. at least the beer's cheap, although that brings me to the reflective bit of the last couple of days: i haven't been training in a while, but i've been eating as if i am and it's beginning to show :(

crying out loud, for

i woke up early today so that i could get Very Important Stuff done before heading to the climbing wall. so early, in fact, that after i'd had a cup of tea and gotten ready to move i *still* managed to wake up gn1 - i felt a bit stupid for that.

especially taking into consideration that all the stuff i needed to do was about her.

i arranged a pretty gift with a chocolatier's specialties for valentine's day, bought high-end cava and a couple of glasses as her first housewarming gift (she gets the key in an hour or so), put on my blades and rode out to the wall.

i was already in the park when scrapper called with the bad news - the wall only opens at 2pm on a friday. that had me venting a very solid "NO" in public.
we fell back to frisbee at rabin square, which started a bit dicey and turned into an amazing session in the sun. i even had a short ride on his bicycle when i went home to pick up sunscreen, which was fun.

...

i need to take a moment to address the continuation of our government to treat symptoms instead of causes and exacerbate the issues by instituting a new set of laws preventing us from drinking in public places and purchasing alcohol past what amounts to a curfew.

let's just keep making ordinary citizens criminals, or just plain unhappy.

i quote thomas jefferson, then. "the care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction is the first and only object of good government". ours doesn't really care.

chilly tears

OMG. the finale for battlestar galactica is amazing. the entire series is incredible. i'm glad i watched it.

the rest of the evening was spent playing tekken tag, mortal kombat and ssx while catching up with the old buddy i went to visit and a couple of his friends. it amuses me no end that SxS and ru55 got my tekken to a point where i can cream almost anyone, and i find it amusing that a large part of those skills (especially the advanced buttonmashing) are transferable to games like mortal kombat :P

breaking down a little bit of guilt

i resumed working on an old project of mine, which required brushing up on my knowledge of castle defenses. that would've been interspersed with battlestar galactica, only i passed out about halfway through the episode.

i woke up a while later, then couldn't figure out why so i laid back down to rest.

with very little warning, gn1 came past to pick me up and we took her mother to herzeliya. meeting someone's mother in a car is awkward.

we dropped her off, and drove straight back to tel aviv for rona kenan's performance at levontin. on the way we picked up a girl who was walking in our direction, stopped for coffee and a giant pretzel and walked in about one song in - remarkable considering that we'd left tel aviv at the scheduled time :P

the show was fantastic. we didn't find a good spot, but we made up for it by finding a small step to sit on.

we missioned for pizza (tony vespa), and i decided i'd have some as well. that could be read as "i didn't really think the evening was going to continue for much longer", because i usually start passing out very soon after i cheese my system. i managed to pick the pizza that wasn't particularly fresh, but it was still quite tasty and they gave me a meaningful discount so i didn't really mind.

parking woes were the order of the evening - gn1 decided at the last minute that she was okay with sleeping over, and it took forever to get to the parking lot i'd initially suggested :P

---
*sigh*

today was absolutely perfect. we both woke up languidly late, had tea, and stepped out into the most gorgeous, sunny, warm winter's day. i escorted her to the car, then came back and sat indecisively until eventually i gave up trying to be useful and headed for the beach.

i couldn't stop giggling when i got into the water: clear, cool, blue water in tel aviv is incredibly rare; the beach was practically empty; there was the slightest of breezes, and tiny fish swimming madly around my feet.

those were undoubtedly the most beautiful moments i've experienced in what feels like forever - where it felt as if the entire universe existed only for me.

once i'd rested in the sun, had another swim, read a bit and then rested on the other side, i walked back home to put on dry shorts and returned to coffeeholic for the chef's beef parisian and a fair amount of reading. i eventually pried myself away, came home, watched the rest of the second-last episode of battlestar galactica and went to bed.

i'm feeling a little bit guilty that i've achieved absolutely nothing today and i've thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. i'm now going to pay a old friend a visit, and then we'll see how the evening goes :)

the dead end of town

well... the more "spiritual" side, at least. i went into bnei brak to purchase equipment that will allow us to train informally, and it's not really such a bad place.

the food at albert's kitchen's nothing to write home about, though.

on my way back, i paid attention to a huge sign over the intersection that reads "remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy" - it made me think of putting up a similar sign outside my apartment that reads "remember your brother, for he is holy".

i missed our SC's base farewell, because i haven't been on base and nobody thought to remind me. amusingly, the package we ordered for him from despair.com arrived today. we'll have to present it when everyone gets together for the big farewell evening (that'll be my farewell, too).

the news of the day: the request that i signed on sunday will apparently take a month to be processed. that's just unnecessary and stupid.

i got home and passed out watching battlestar galactica. i've just finished the episode now, and that leaves me with two more to go.

i haven't been too productive today. i think it's time to get something done.

when monty python enters the order of the stick

so facebook has been updated again and google has thrown us buzz. now all we need is someone to roll out a third-party app that connects the two, and all communication complications will be over.

stop motion two

it began with a nightmare:
lots of people in a competition on an upper floor of a tall building on a mountain covered in snow. it's some kind of dancing competition. i'm sitting on the floor with a group of spectators, and we watch disinterestedly.
dirk diggler and his partner are competing, they encourage audience participation although they'd misunderstood the instructions. everyone's playing along but having a laugh at them, and i only realize after i've begun to play along that this isn't right but the two of them are now giving it their all and totally making fools of themselves.

dirk diggler catches me alone a bit later, says something angrily and then punches me in the face. i put him down, but he gets up and tries again. i defend myself, he begins threatening to stab me - i put him down one more time and i walk away, angry, confused and disappointed.

i don't understand why he'd behave like this, nor why he'd think that i had been intentionally participating in his humiliation.

eventually i come across his closed facebook account [of course i'd be checking facebook in my dreams] and discover that the event had been recorded and that recording has been posted online - suddenly i'm terrified that he's taking it harder than the star wars kid and potentially suicidal...

the first order of the day was a repeat of yesterday's performance, only dressed better and armed with a little more experience. in retrospect, there were a couple of things that we could've improved even more, but quite frankly the effort wouldn't be worth it - what we have is good enough.

unfortunately, when i picked up ukko on my way out i found him unresponsive. a second dead ipod, so soon after the incident, caused me severe distress. getting my warranty papers in order before leaving delayed me quite a bit.

we sat going over the photos at a nearby coffee shop opposite the kabbalah centre. it would appear that tel aviv has its very own diogenes, dressed in ye olde semi-psychedelic fervent-religious wear and carrying diagrams and pictures best suited to a powerpoint presentation. he raved and ranted, cursed and cajoled, and generally caused wonder and alarm.

urchin's response claims quote of the day:
"there's a man who has all the answers"
"i don't think he has all the right answers"
indeed :)

we continued on to dizengof center, discussing and being disgusted by cruelty to animals. we stopped by the art supply store, then idigital to have the cool mac guys elevate my discomfort to "mild panic". eventually i was passed through to a more technical person, who managed to revive ukko and relieve me of my immediate woes. [although he's now in disk mode and refusing to be disconnected from my pc]

on my way past disc center i ran into one of ze germans who's just arrived back in israel for a quick holiday. we stopped for a fairly long chat over orange juice.

i came home, checked out a band (החברים של נטשה) and determined that i won't be going to their concert with gn1 on friday. i also determined that i have no idea how i'm getting to the trance party on friday night :/

i spent the afternoon beginning to process the photos, watching battlestar galactica, and chatting online. i contemplated going to the beach, but as i was on my way out the clouds took over for the day. a bit later i met up with gn1 at what will hopefully be her new apartment, and after a lot of chatting with the current tenants i escorted her to the train station.

around the time that i left the train station ze german, grootbek and breakfast girl were meeting at a bar close to my apartment. due to a series of bad decisions it took the better part of an hour to get there, but at least i was in time for a couple of beers and lots of chatter.

the highlight was on our way back - it turns out that ze german and i share the same bitter experience with being unable to pass the polygraph, and it's the first time i've been able to talk, laugh and vent with someone who truly understands. i passed him a copy of the lie behind the lie detector (bluetooth, and weird coincidence that i had it on my phone) because now he can really appreciate just how accurate it is.

i wasn't home for long before gn1 called to say goodnight... that was another two-hour phone call. a lot less pleasant than the others, though, as the primary topic was friends and family and support and loneliness: it took a lot to explain what a long-term sacrifice i've been making and it brought up a lot of emotion that i don't usually concern myself with. on a day-to-day basis i don't actually think about all the things that not having my immediate family around entails, but when i do think about it it's quite tough.

the conversation after that was great, right until it was time to end the call and i managed to put my foot in my mouth by using an incorrect word that i couldn't take back :/

i'm now way overdue on a visit to my nice, warm bed.

stop motion

i was almost woken up by urchin this morning. you can't just expect people to be out of bed by 10am, that's just rude!

we had a great breakfast at cafeneto, where for the first time i connected online while experiencing the great outdoors. our waiter was highly amusing, as were our conversations - primarily concerning our current dating experiences, so i reckon we're all good since our last incident :)

she agreed to help me out with a stop-motion idea i had a while back - i bought a can of coke and we missioned off to an abandoned rooftop near dizengof center to shoot.

shooting stop-motion isn't as easy as it sounds, especially when between frames requires preparation. drinking a bottle of coke in one go - albeit a decidedly slow one - is unpleasant and gassy. being indecisive about angles doesn't help.

it's also a bit of a pity that after going through all the photos, i found myself unhappy with one or two aspects and we're going to have to go through the whole process again. hopefully with a better camera, mine isn't fantastic.

i ran into my old neighbour on the way back home, and the two-minute conversation we had while we were still going the same way was pleasantly reaffirming. i hung out my laundry, put on my rollerblades and scrambled to azrieli to meet gn1 for lunch. we had excellent thai food and a great chat.

i bladed back home, uploaded photos and got in touch with the old neighbour again. we met up twenty minutes later for coffee (i offended the chef and the owner of the coffeeholic by joining them at the rival coffee stop), where we sat chatting while a photographer friend of his got busy (i think i upset him when i took a photo of him engaged by his subject matter - should'a turned off the flash :P). the conversation had a few twists and turns, and resulted in me apparently convincing him and his cousin to visit south africa.

now i'm jealous.

i headed off to meet with gn1 again - she's still looking for an apartment. we saw two this evening, the first being unsatisfactory and the second being too pricey. we sat talking outside for a bit, then decided to go do something. that something turned out to be dinner at a "health" restaurant - their definition of healthy is essentially non-fried and non-preserved. everything was wonderful - especially the service and the decor - but the hamburger wasn't done well enough. twice.

we sat talking until after midnight - that's about five hours of non-stop chatter. i'm now exhausted.

facing down the date

today began with a slow wake-up. it was so cold that i had to put the air-conditioner on for at least half an hour before i was ready to creep out from the depths of my duvet.

1. no answer: i tried to get hold of my unit commander to update him and attempt to Get Things Done Faster.

2. no door handles, no disc: i went on a mission to find door handles for my entrance closet and the album that michal geva has just produced. i stopped in at the hardware for a quick chat (but no luck with the door handles), and walked to disc center, then the third ear, neither of which had received their copies. i found door handles at the big hardware store on my way back, but realized that at those prices and for the quality i'm seeking i'll be better off making my own.

3. no net, no chef, no limit: i stopped at coffeeholic for breakfast, which was good but not great (prepared by one of the new guys). i continued reading the trojan women while attempting to connect to one of the fifty or so wireless networks detected, but there would be no googling for me. there was, however, a conversation concerning johnny depp's generally sterling performances with its focus on the roundabout scene from fear and loathing in las vegas. and a techina (טְחִינָה) cookie. that was a really good cookie.

i'd had a can of dr. pepper on my pre-breakfast walk, a strong americano with breakfast, and the owner sponsored another one with the cookie. after all, one cannot eat a cookie without drinking something as well.

4. caffeine high: my gears were well-lubricated, i was beginning to warm up, and i needed to shave and get into uniform. i had psychedelik.com's psytrance channel playing, and almost cut myself because i couldn't stop bouncing up and down :)

5. bussing to base went fairly smoothly, mostly spent reading the iliad but some of it spent sleeping. i woke with a nasty start when i thought i'd missed my stop, and that not only brought me around completely but made me realize that i was actually feeling well-rested for the first time in a while.

6. the internal bus is usually a problem, but today there was a total mix-up and we were told to switch buses after having waited for about twenty minutes. the driver on the second bus is well-known for his tourist-bus announcements, and his apology on behalf of the company was quite amusing.

7. signing the early-release request form took a while. it's impossible to know if we filled it out in a satisfactory manner... my SC was surprised, and so was i (i'd forgotten), to discover that today was my original release date. i had to sign on extra for the course i did in 2008, otherwise i would have been handing in my uniform.

coincidence?

the good news is that by the time we were on our way off the base, our unit commander had already received it and he told me he'll be passing it on to the next level at the first opportunity. i'm praying that things carry on this smoothly.

8. i met with gn1 and her brother at an apartment she went to view, and afterwards we had a bite to eat at an aroma nearby. more on this later.

9. in a dark mood post-8, i dressed warmly and snuggled my headphones under my beanie for the walk to the ozen bar. i made it just in time for danny gilboa's acoustic performance, which was solo until he was joined on stage by avner strauss. after a song or two together, he left avner alone to perform the most wonderful dylan-style poetic musings and folksy-blues... with a climax of a psychedelic indian-style (dots not feathers) improvisation that was fantastic and surreal, before being rejoined by danny for a light-hearted country finish. they were both incredible.

10. more brooding on the way home, to hit myself with a solid dose of rum before plucking up the courage to call gn1 again. our conversation was cut short, and i had something to eat and read some very amusing and accurate links from bad astronomy:
this one didn't get away - selling snake oil to intelligent people? possible FAIL.
and phil links to a few articles from science digestive's "from science" series:
dear media
dear homeopathy
dear astrology

we've just finished a two-hour conversation - my ears are burning - and after this post i'm definitely going to bed. it's frikkin' freezing, even the air-conditioner is straining tonight :S

---
everything was great until we began looking for a spot to grab a bite to eat before gn1 had to leave the city. her requirements for food and time clashed, and i found myself slightly exasperated at the futility of the search. this set the stage for what came next.

we finally had an issue about who pays for what, and although i had to be a bit forceful we settled it rather quickly. i didn't give her much of a chance to argue until i was done explaining the "tradition" - whoever's first, pays. [it averages out, and causes way less stress]
the second she caught on to the rationale (and she is quick) she was cool with it.

problem solved, everything's gravy, right? then we got political. the problem isn't what we were arguing, it's how *i* was arguing. i went straight into battle mode, and there is absolutely no justification for that. this isn't the first time i've been told i have a problem with my aggressive stances, and that's what makes it all the more difficult to deal with.

no matter how sorry i am for behaving that way, nor how much i realize that it's stupid and unnecessary to talk like that - i'm lost as to what puts me in that mode in the first place. and it makes things mighty uncomfortable. when i look at myself during the argument in retrospect, i feel like a scared little boy watching his father behaving really badly and not having a clue why. and it doesn't matter why.

as i told gn1 - i'm a bit awkward because i feel really bad about it, but i'm also really appreciative of her attitude; she made no bones about putting me in my place, and although it took a while (we continued arguing, but more rationally) for the internal dust to settle we ended up okay.

...

something the hardware dude said this morning: take any two random people; if they want things to work, they'll work. and i think i really like this girl enough.

a little more than tired

we got a bit lost finding the place - the online map simply wasn't a fair depiction of its location - and walked in on a live swing performance that was really very good. the lounge itself is wonderful, beautifully decorated and sporting a magnificent chandelier, and the couches are all comfortable and inviting.

i suppose if we'd known that the live performance wasn't just regular background music we might not have made as much noise :P

a very nice evening, although we were both very tired and there wasn't much interaction between the birthday girl's different groups of friends.

i'm exhausted. i've finished another episode of battlestar galactica (only four more episodes to go!), discovered that michal geva's new album is out, and warmed up the apartment enough to remove my ski jacket and go to bed. it's been stupidly cold the last couple of days.

the ascent

[it's *really* hard for me to type right now]

breakfast turned out to be a bit complicated: the irish member of ze germans and an english friend of ours made it fairly clear that they're not interested in breaking bread with us anymore, so the german birthday girl from last week [breakfast girl] and i arranged to meet at ducks.

it was an ice-cold day, and my sweater wasn't cutting it. i found a table that was more or less sheltered from the elements to wait a few minutes for breakfast girl and her friend to arrive. we sat talking and debating the menu for a short while, and were belatedly informed that ducks don't serve breakfast after 2pm anymore... that's not in line with the general tel aviv attitude.

we missioned up and down dizengof (we went a bit too far due to a navigational accident that i blame myself for) until we found a place that looked good - can't recall the name - and sat down to what turned into a highly enjoyable hour or two of eating really good food and talking a lot. the pace wasn't even broken when breakfast girl's awkwardly quiet sister joined us :P

i was on my way home when scrapper called, and he and a friend were waiting for me at rabin square when i arrived there ten minutes later. we began with "the downing of the snickers" - scrapper has a thing about snickers, which is nothing to complain about - and commenced another frisbee-in-the-rain session that was a lot of fun.
slippery, dangerous fun :)

we missioned to le gufre afterwards for hot chocolate and their fantastic heaters (one in particular worked its magic and caused steam to rise from our hair), and after that i returned home for an amazing hot shower. i don't really recall much between that point and gn1's arrival.

gn1 is particularly critical about my style of living - i have to admit i'm quite amused to hear that i'm living the typical bachelor's life :P

we went for a fairly long walk about the city until we settled at jeremiah's for dinner. their food is always fantastic. we were both absolutely exhausted by the time we left.

...

i woke up an hour or two before i got out of bed this morning, and fairly soon received a phone call from scrapper letting me know that he'd be picking me up soon. i made quick-and-dirty sandwiches, dressed appropriately, and we headed off to the sportec's climbing wall accompanied by system of a down.

i've been wanting to do this since it opened.

it was a great day, we all learned a lot, and we've agreed to try and do this weekly. during my second climb i almost fainted, but some apple juice and a coke got me back into the groove. by my last attempt my arms were simply unresponsive, though... even now i'm still finding it difficult to grip things :P

i got a ride home, read comics and skimmed through some news, and began watching another episode of battlestar galactica before being distracted by preparations for frisbeer with karnaf. by the time i got to his side of the city it had gotten too dark to play, though, so we sat at jeremiah's over beers, whiskeys and soup, and talked for an hour or two. then it was time to head back...

i've just spoken to my mum, had a shower, and talked to gn1 - in about half an hour she's picking me up and the evening events will begin. i think i might require some caffeine :P

decision blocked

i just woke up from an odd dream, which might have been caused by my answering the phone in my sleep - i've warned myself on numerous occasions not to do that - and having come across a blubbering idiot.

in a trial session at a new gym, the instructor was showing me how to use the two ropes (there are multiple sets, in a row) hanging in a giant hall. suspended in mid-air, the idea is to hold on to one of them, grip the other with a foot, and perform basic exercises. [this in itself seems like a very silly idea]

the exercises cause the ropes to swing back and forth.

after doing a number of repetitions, i decided to try switching ropes - to turn around, to face the other way. in addition to that being a completely meaningless action, it's also not very bright to do so in mid-air when you're moving back and forth at a fair rate.

i managed to make the switch without a hassle - only in doing so i added sideways motion and had the two ropes going around each other. the instructor looked on in horror as i precariously swung this way and that, managing to keep my grip and not get too dizzy by focusing on the skylight above.

as soon as the ropes slowed down, he shouted at me and sent me off to the gym psychologist for an evaluation. the psychologist informed me that they wouldn't be allowing me to sign up this time, and handed me a recommendation for some type of brain scan which would determine whether or not i have a block in some feature that's connected to decision making.

contemplation

i read comics, watched some battlestar galactica, and passed out on the couch. i woke up a few hours later, pulled myself back into shape, showered and walked.

i eventually caved in and took a taxi, whose driver impressed me no end by taking an honest-to-goodness efficient route. i got to the club at a relatively fair price, and the guest list price brought the cost of the evening to "average". now if only i'd brought "average" sort of money... with taxi, entrance, one beer, one rum and coke, one energy drink and two chocolates i was barely left with bus fare home :P

speaking of which, that energy drink and the chocolates could barely keep me standing - the music was great, but i was feeling so drained that i was almost sleeping standing up. i didn't see anybody i know, but the fact that botchman was planning on going proved a good enough indicator that it would be a decent crowd. last time i went on the spur of the moment, and the people were a bit iffy.

when i wasn't bouncing - and most of the morning the beats were made of solid, floor-rumbling stuff - i was processing the past week. i consider it a combination of prayer and meditation, and i think i have (to a certain extent) made peace with my present situation. also, i spent a lot of time contemplating how much of my experiences i keep to myself and how much i try to share with the world. i see myself as a sort of conduit, a role which i'm not uncomfortable with as a parallel to what i'm busying myself with but which i must be wary of in its ability to overtake my personal priorities.

the walk to the bus home was beautiful, i tried to capture something of it with my camera but i suspect that what's in my memory is all that i'll keep. i'll probably post the snaps anyway, because i'm beginning to appreciate even the crap photos as reminders.

i showered and went straight to bed, sleeping wonderfully and waking really slowly. as i lay waiting for my alarm to harass me into physically getting up, i pondered my (excessive) communication with gn1. i think there're a lot of things that are impossible to know without throwing oneself into a relationship, and i'm curious to see how much of an actual fit there is as opposed to the purely intellectual.
how will our extremely differing opinions and tastes affect each other?

wow. i haven't seen potential for something serious in a long, long time.

am i?

does the fact that i've been in a mood and wanting to drink the entire day make me an alcoholic?

i woke up to make some difficult phone calls, and spent the morning cleaning my apartment and fiddling with my netbook, who i've taken to calling niamh (neev).

the first phone call was to a woman who i *really* need to be onboard, and she sounded so incredibly disinterested that it injected me with a sense of hopelessness that's clouded everything since.

while setting up, having found an open network in the neighbourhood, i began chatting with gn1 online... we've been talking non-stop, except when i haven't been in. i'm beginning to feel like we've already crossed a boundary or two :P

i managed to wear down the battery, and moved to my pc. i found a good picture of niamh, but was disappointed by my search for one of ukko so i snapped my own from the horned god. it was a chilly walk to the print shop, and i was dressed in black from head to toe to indicate my mood.

while i was there our unit secretary called me up to perform an urgent duty - we have to sign off the vacation days we took last year. we're going to ignore the fact that it's february already (already?! wow!), and i'm not going to go all the way to the base to sort it out. halfway through what she was dictating to be sent, she told me she'd call me back in five minutes.

i spent those five minutes, and then another five, becoming a master of the guillotine. i'm very lucky i didn't screw the stickers up...
i was half an hour away when she finally called back... "but i said approximately five minutes!"
and in that sense, i'm approximately argentinian.

i'm quite happy with the stickers (click to enlarge):

i went shopping for cupboard doorknobs and toilet paper, and came back with everything but. i spent the next hour or two continuing to chat with gn1, and doing a bunch of other things in the background (but without concentrating, so aside from a conversation with my TL i can't remember a thing).

i've been wondering about what to do tonight. i was planning on going to hear nir geva at levontin, but it turned out to be the wrong nir geva. gasoline is going to hear someone i'm not interested in, and so it looks i'm going to return to the comfort - hopefully i won't be going alone this time.

all this talking did have a couple of good consequences - first and foremost being the realization that my mother's advice is correct. if i make a noise and give someone an excuse to imprison me, then my release date with be pushed further away and that's counter-productive. i'm trying to push everyone to move fast, but if the worst comes to pass i'm just going to have to focus on my evenings and make the best of them. i won't jeopardize my planned travels or my holidays.

i finally had that slug of rum. i don't think it did too much for me.

really?

i don't know where to begin, so it'll just have to default to where i left off:

i slept fairly well, although i was almost woken by my SC telling me that he'd arranged for me to do the peer-review. asshole.

for breakfast, i took a steaming cup of coffee outside into the sun with a book. i was outside all of a half a minute before the neighbour wheeled past and harrassed me for having my shirt off in the cold - it was only a bit later that the wind came up and the sunlight could no longer warm me, and i was almost embarrassed when i had to go inside and get a shirt.

i showered - i still love that shower - and then shaved with a new blade. that was when i realized why i'd cut myself the other night; i tend to forget that these things need replacing :S
my cousin's awkward dog escorted me all the way to the afula shuttle, and as i hopped in my sister called me. we had a very pleasant chat, and soon after we finished talking the driver took us away.

i stopped by my cousin's office to say goodbye, and amongst the things we talked about was dream analysis. she'd had a weird dream, and asked my opinion. i was loathe to give it; dreams are the ultimate in personal and i believe that the symbolism inherent in them can only be investigated from the source... she convinced me to have a go, though, and seemed satisfied with what i came up with.

on the way to the bus station i bought three chocolate croissants, which turned out to be disgustingly sticky. the first two did more than enough to destroy the breakfast pangs, and the last one travelled all the way back to tel aviv without finding a home.
perhaps i would've given it to the weird guy in the station if he hadn't tried whispering conspiratorially. i haven't a clue what he was on about.

i dedicated most of the bus ride to today's meeting, thinking of all the possible outcomes. it's possible that it would've gone smoother if i hadn't - more on that later.

i met up with gn1 when i arrived back in tel aviv, and we had lunch together. our conversation was fascinating and enjoyable, but there were two things that bothered me:

1. i'm not entirely sure, but i think that the wolfman's girlfriend may have slept with spot after the two of them got together. i don't know for sure, and i'm concerned that she may be right in telling me that i owe it to him to let him know.

on the other hand, what if i'm wrong? then all i've done is sow discord. what right have i?

2. i wasn't done, and the waitress took my food away. godsdammit, all they have to learn to do in this country is put knives and forks together to indicate readiness. it's not bleeding rocket science.

on a positive note, i noticed an eyelash on the bridge of gn1's nose and struggled to decide what to do about it. eventually i settled for a softly spoken "don't move", and was incredibly impressed by her response: she froze completely, but calmly, while i removed it. alright :)

i returned home, dropped off my gear, changed clothes and went out to get a certain card laminated. i found a place a block or two away, and it didn't cost very much... the man's just a bit nuts, though. he shouts constantly at anyone who proves to be interested in his services (as in, he didn't shout at someone who was just asking directions).
i was confused by a couple of other customers as an employee - "but you look so confident!". indeed. so?

i hopped a bus for nystire's, and spent the evening with him and his wife sorting out my netbook. i'm really grateful - there were a number of sticky things that happened that i would've floundered with if i'd been alone. the coffee and dinner were nice, too :)

i made it to the bus stop just in time to catch the bus home, and i made it home just in time to get my gear on and join the rollerblading group. for once, ironically, i left on time. it confounds me that if i leave on time, the traffic lights to the cinematheque are all comfortably synchronized and i coast straight through. if i leave five minutes late, i have to stop for most of them :/

1. i was informed that not making it to the race on saturday was fortunate. apparently it was absolutely horrible.

2. the mongoose's friend had a rough first time - the route was particularly long and not an easy one. i'm well impressed that he finished it, and enjoyed it :)
we had a pretty serious heart to heart afterwards... he'd asked me a few days ago how i have so much energy, and i explained to him that spending all his time working or sleeping will crush his spirit. one has to have balance.

3. there's no need to hoot repeatedly when you're right next to people. promise. there's also no need to hurry when you're going to have to stop in twenty metres anyway. there's definitely no need to do both. after a number of altercations with one incredibly annoying asshole, i scrambled to catch up with my mask on - all it took was a mean look and some simple, not-impolite hand signals before he stopped that shit }:)

4. the bottle of beer lasted me a lot longer than i expected.

i remembered to do some shopping on the way home, and the pretty ethiopian girl was really helpful. she even convinced me to get a member card, which i've been meaning to do for months... she just struck me as being efficient, and she really was quick about it.

it didn't take me too long to get to bed, and when my alarm went off at 6.15 it seemed like i'd only had my eyes closed for a couple of minutes. it took a while to get ready.

during the day, i kept forgetting that i'd barely slept after a solid 30km and was repeatedly surprised to be feeling so tired :P

i enjoyed the monkey's wedding, and my ride picked me up less than twenty minutes late. we discussed the pending meeting, and he provided me some confidence. we arrived just in time to witness the kinder being promoted - the ceremony seemed rather haphazard...

we walked back to the section breakfast, which was well organized. our SC wasn't around, and we got to discussing his farewell present - we've almost settled on a giant vibrator with something amusing engraved on it. it's been almost unanimously agreed that i'll be presenting it :P

the kinder and i went to do the peer-review together, and drove the sociologist's assistant nuts. we had a few laughs, and i carried out my threat to fill in my SC's report honestly and withholding no punches, and photographing the results afterwards.

it's time for that bridge to be razed.

i had a slight hassle with getting my base permit renewed, but i kept calm and patient and eventually got sorted out. i was waiting for the bus for a while, and just before it arrived the village idiot came past, and was kind enough to pick me up and take me to the train station - that meant that i had enough time to eat and nap for half an hour before the big meeting.

---
i *HATE* it when someone holds all the cards, and asks an open question. i told him i had no idea where to begin, and he said simply, "just talk". so i did. and then he complained afterwards that i'd told him a whole bunch of things he didn't care about.

my current situation is not good: in order to secure my release, i have to put in a formal request that needs to go through all the correct channels before possibly being rejected. in the meanwhile - i'll be "temporarily" seconded to another unit to do whatever dirty work they need done.

the way things usually go when higher-ups speak this way? i could spend the rest of my service doing lots of nothing.

fuck that.

in the evening, i managed to get hold of my unit commander, and i explained to him exactly how i feel and how little i trust the process. i also let him know that while i don't want to become a "problem", i do understand that that's the israeli way and i will resort to it if i feel i must.

i explained how to deal with the personnel unit (our unit has this terrifyingly naive method of sending them requests and expecting to be served in a fair manner), and we agreed that i'm going to begin with the forms and give them a couple of weeks to sort it out.

after that - who knows. this is not a good position to be in.

---
i met with gn1 for coffee afterwards, and we seem to be getting more comfortable. when she went back to work, i had a problem with payment - the coffee shop didn't have change for me. i drifted about until i managed to organize some.

i came home in a very weird mood. the evening was spent painting, drinking, and talking with gn1 on the phone - we spoke for an hour and a half at least, and i'm downright confused as to where we are. we seem to be good and nowhere at the same time, and have agreed to take things easy. i can understand that it's difficult to get to know me, though, so i'm not exactly stressing :)

this is the result of the first couple of iterations on an idea that popped into my head on my way home:


[things i may have forgotten to mention: the silicone that the handyman left behind actually proved useful, and i'm having trouble with my headphones - the good ones that served me well for a couple of years broke, and so did the new ones :S]

i'm surprised at how late it is, how distracted i've been. i've been a bit spaced out since the meeting, and completely zoned since the conversation. i'm going to get to bed now, tomorrow's going to be the beginning of another unpleasant period in my life.

can i *please* have a frikkin' break?

fantastic!

i've got quite a bit to blog, but i just got back from a really great night rollerblading and i had to share my excitement! one of the mongoose's friends joined us, the weather was superb and the route was beautiful and much longer than usual. in addition, a bunch of people who haven't bladed with us in a while rejoined, and the night was a lot of fun ^_^

socionetric

while i was getting ready for breakfast, the pointy-haired boss called: he wants me to come back to base to do the sociometric (peer review). i told him "absolutely not", then remembered that he is still my commander so i explained to him in slow, short words (like a small child) why i'm not doing it.

then he started pleading, and i sort-of caved. i told him i'd do it if i'm there already and it fits my schedule :P

1. the chef was in, breakfast was brilliant!
2. i couldn't get the formatting right, so i got to reading some of wr's university notes instead.
3. in general: great idea. will pursue.

afterwards, i sat going over a protocol definition (i need some examples, though - the descriptions are pretty generic) while listening to psychedelik.com. in particular, ix lam at - plant attack came on while i was taking a break to hang up laundry and got me grooving and grinning ^_^

i think i may have overpacked for the kibbutz... my bag's pretty heavy. i decided that for NIS100 it was worth shaving and getting into uniform :P
i learned two important things. firstly, using a netbook on a bus is weird and makes me feel like an asshole. secondly, travelling up north on a weekday is an absolute pleasure compared to what i'm used to! the bus was practically empty :)

i arrived in my cousin's office, plonked down my bag and went for a mission to find a snack. the "messiah tank" isn't limited to tel aviv, apparently - some of those crazies had parked on afula's main street and were playing really solid trance... the track that was playing when i stopped for what turned out to be an amazing laffa (pullet) was the green nuns of the revolution - megallenic cloud - one of my all-time favourites that i haven't heard in years!

the policeman and the soldier waiting in line seemed to be avoiding looking at me because i was smiling and slightly bouncing... i wanted to be jumping up and down with the religious nutters, but one can't do that in uniform :/

it took me two seconds to get back to human when we arrived on the kibbutz. i gave my cousin a package (some rands, airport tax, and great biltong) and we sat chatting and watching telly for a while. she showed me her son's photos from thailand and india - amazing stuff - and then we chatted some more. now that she's gone to bed i'm going to play with my netbook a little more, and then i'll be turning in myself :)

smile

ahh - a languid, lazy wake-up, a hot chocolate and ambient trance morning while continuing to transfer 2005, finally taking a step to insure my netbook, planning on taking the netbook for breakfast... and receiving an sms from girl no. 1 (gn1) telling me she'd like to go with me to a trance party.

erm. okay... is this a joke? am i being set up?
i'll just have to go along for the ride :)

a long four

aaaaand i was wrong again - i don't get this girl, and i don't get her in a good way! i sent her a copy of what i wrote earlier, and she responded with an interesting interpretation that i hadn't thought of.

after watching a couple of episodes of battlestar galactica - *DAMN*, the last season is nuts! - i got back to her with a brief mail which resulted in us actually talking on the phone. i really hope i'm dealing with the kind of person she's coming across as :)

i went from being semi-productive with my 2005 entries to flipping through all my facebook photos. what did we do before facebook? just forget everything? even with the plethora of superfluous, nobody-cares albums, there're enough gems to make it all worth it.

spiraling down

i've made a bit of progress with the stuff for mmf, and i've made some headway with 2005... discovering in the process that the mongoose and i have known each other for five years and five days. i just *had* to send him an sms to congratulate him :P

i spoke to my kibbutz cousin, and was complaining that i hadn't had a chance to visit her when i suddenly realized that i can go tomorrow, so i will :)

i shopped, and decided that purchasing hummus (i did so on friday night) is a bad idea, because it forces me to buy pita to eat it with. pita and hummus are filling, and tasty, but not so much a healthy meal :P

on the way back, i heard one of the neighbours practising the tuba. cacophonic, but so amusing that i can't imagine anyone complaining :P

---
i definitely spend too much time in my own head. i couldn't figure out if i'm supposed to be in touch with girl no. 1 or not. i never get the rules of engagement, and i don't want to be pushy and i don't want to make her feel like i'm disinterested. i probably shouldn't have facebooked her.

i couldn't pick a smiley, so she just got this message:
hi! i wanted to send you something, so i looked you up on facebook. then i felt bad for doing so, and didn't send it to you. now i don't know if i should laugh or apologize, so i'm doing both

aaaaand i have a feeling that that's not going to get a positive response.

---
robber dog? that's just wrong.

tall paul vs billie - because we want to popped into my head, and this version is just a little bit faster and got me smiling a little bit wider :D

slow spiral

slow spiral
up
or down
moves me
pushes
pulls me
to dizzy abandon

i hear soft voices
whispering sweetly
to go back, or forward

but none are yours

and none are mine

my own sweet whispers
long ago silenced
by the spiral
moving me
pushing
pulling me

medicinal rolling

i began the day with a clearance sale purchase for our SC's release: the ineptitude desktopper. seeing as it's not possible to make a purchase of less than $15, i added the mistakes mug... and international shipping only doubled that amount :/ (at least i'm not buying it alone)

i hope it arrives to the correct address, because israel doesn't have state codes and i couldn't place the order without one. so i live in TEL AVIV, NONE, and i hope that's alright.

i made a good call for bus stops, and could choose between the close-enough bus and the perfect one. i thought that the people who use the new magnetic cards could walk through automatically, and got dark looks from the driver when i tried to pay him over the hand of the girl who was busy swiping hers...

"and i would've gotten away from it [the bus] if it wasn't for you kids!": i had to ask twice for the crowd of soldiers at my destination to let me out. it appears the kids are being raised stupider all the time. i was contemplating taking id numbers and filing a complaint, but there were simply too many of them.

i barely had to wait for the doctor, but i needed the green license form first so he turfed me out and agreed to let me in later between patients. on my way out i tried calling the guy who i'm going to be fighting with about my release, but he didn't answer. i called his superior (we're now talking about big boys), to discover that the two of them were in a meeting. they promised to call me back.

i found a photo shop in azrieli, but it was closed. while waiting, i had coffee and a chocolate croissant (that turned out to be difficult to digest), and bumped into one of the girls from my old team... she's been called up for reserve duty to organize a unit celebration. i think that's awesome :)

the photo store couldn't help me. they couldn't even point me in the right direction. i went across the road to the one next door to the ministry of interior, where they had to have official forms... or not. the revolving door, the only entrance / exit available, was stuck. i was the first to ignore the huge signs saying "automatic - don't push!" and excused my disgusting behaviour by explaining to the old lady who'd been standing sadly, waiting, that if they wanted us to not push then it would need to move by itself.
i bit the bullet and walked all the way to dizengoff center. on the way, i called the inferior - when i told him i wanted to meet with him, he corrected me: "you mean you're requesting to meet with me?"

i see that this is going to go well. on the plus side, he can't meet with me before wednesday so that gives me another couple of days to get organized. and not shave :P

i picked up the green form, and headed to the optometrist for the eye test. i didn't have my glasses with me, and for a motorcycle both eyes need to be perfect. i felt awful failing the exam.

i was on my way back to the doctor when i hit ibn gvirol, and decided that it would be far more efficient if i was on rollerblades. i walked home instead, switched out and rolled back - it was far more comfortable. it's a hot, sticky day anyway :P

the doctor signed me off quickly, and i went back to repeat the eye exam - this time with my glasses. i passed quickly and easily. now i'm considering contact lenses or laser surgery.
i bought spraypaint on my way out.

i had lunch at coffeeholic with the professor, which was extremely pleasant, and when she left the chef was looking for someone to see avatar with so i volunteered to go again. while we were talking i got a phone call from the unit that wants to interview me, so i told them i'd get in touch with them after wednesday's meeting. i headed off to brush my teeth, and bladed to the dentist.

same dentist as last time, this time i spent most of the session suppressing my gag reflex every time the suction hit the side of my tongue and annoying her by not turning my head in her direction. i couldn't look at the light, so i either had my eyes squeezed shut or stared at her jugular. she's not particularly attractive, but she has beautiful eyes - when she wears a surgeon's mask the transformation is astounding.

blades on, back home. i sprayed my display cabinet, conscious of the need to keep the room ventilated and hopping back and forth between the bathroom and bedroom to take deep breaths, but forgetting that eyes don't deal with the paint cloud either. i registered the dryness in the shower i had afterwards, but i think i rinsed it all out because a couple of minutes after i'd dried off i was feeling fine again.

i finally got around to continuing the testing for mmf, but that's not going so well so i took a break for this post and am about to return to it. i'll be able to snack again in five minutes or so, and feeling's just beginning to come back to my lips :)

not sleeping in

a night filled with dreams
a warm morning
too comfortable to get out of bed
but the alarm will not be ignored

girl no. 1

i read a bit of wired, napped, shaved - cutting myself twice, played a round of crash bandicoot 3 - sucking at it, and walked out with marshmallow coffee.
everything's better with marshmallows. and pirates.

fortunately the bus was empty, so the bus driver wasn't impatient with me when he realized that i needed to be one stop away from where i'd asked for, and that made it a different price :P

i spent the ride considering just how much of a difference the past week has made - i have discovered that the world outside is as i expected it would be, that i am just fine and that i have a ton of shit to do that i'm going to thoroughly enjoy doing ^_^

the date: it was definitely a date. once again i'm forced to ask myself if i screwed it up, because the goodbye was a bit awkward... but in general, it was great: we entered the movie half an hour late because we'd gotten so wrapped up in conversation over beers, and we both enjoyed it anyway (the men who stare at goats - they did a good job, especially with the soundtrack and the cinematography is great).

right - i've just spent over an hour transferring my records of 2004 to an editable format, and it's definitely time for bed.

spirit was mentioned during the conference - xkcd says it better, as usual :)

the order of the stick - because i just don't read enough webcomics

digging out, sliding fortune

the rough news from thursday evening stuck with me. it stuck with me while i sorted out my backup drive, and while i deliberated over what to get the german birthday girl; it was the primary motivator for the chat with my mother, and it lent its flavour to the sandwiches i made for dinner; it hovered while i purchased the southern comfort reserve and walked it to the party, where i was both late and far too early.

it held my hand as i went ice shopping with the girl i sometimes play frisbee with, who was on her own pluck which wasn't interesting enough to distract me. it brooded with me while i sat awkwardly trying to find an "in" with the girls speaking in german, or the group chatting in hebrew about stuff that i had nothing to add to.

it didn't help when i was asked what i do for a living, either.

a couple of ze germans rocked up late, and with them an excuse to talk about other things for a while. we all went to some random bar, and on the way i got chatting with a texan who's also a fan of bill hicks and shares some of my opinions concerning the importance of the war against the war against drugs. one of the israeli girls from the second prohibitive conversation was kind of flirtatious, but our conversation didn't really go anywhere positive. the music was kind of okay, but the dj's mixing sucked and some of the other patrons were dodgy as hell.

ukko gave me solid psytrance, loud, and i took a walk south. i arrived at comfort 13 ready to stomp. it was a bit expensive to get in, and the crowd wasn't much to get excited about, but i bounced for an hour or two that included a few solid tracks before deciding that it was time to go home.

the whole walk home had me going over what i'm going to be saying to all the wonderful, caring people i'm going to have to be in touch with during the coming week(s). the longer i walked, the longer i thought about it, the angrier i got. i'm in fight mode, and i'm ready to take on the entire gorram army if needs be: enough is enough. i need control of my body back, and more importantly i need to start getting to work on saving the world.

i have shit to do, and it's in nobody's best interests to hold me back.

i decided to give tony vespa's pizza a try. not bad. not bad at all. considering that i'd had a lot to drink, i'm not sure how objective my tastebuds were being, but i'm fairly certain i'll be trying it again.

---
i slept incredibly comfortably yesterday morning, and even waking up was a pleasure. i tidied my apartment - less of a mission than i'd anticipated - and loaded my netbook with things that will render it useful. i did that on my patio with the shutters open - it was an absolutely wonderful, sunny day!

someone reminded me that it was another street party day - i'd completely forgotten! i hurried to coffeeholic to be impressed by the chef's breakfast while continuing to enjoy the introduction to poetry that remains on their shelf. as soon as i was done, i walked to rothschild to wrangle through the throngs until i eventually made it to the thick of things.

it was really, really loud.
it was really, really packed.
the sun was shining, the music was great, i ran into a couple of friends and was invited to a couple of parties, and i stayed there until 4pm when it shut down and one of the city council members gave a really sweet speech - "this is how tel aviv should be all the time!"

damn right ^_^

i stormed through the crowd double-time in order to get home in time to join the sunset rollers. i made it in good time, but not good enough - they'd left about ten minutes before i got there. i tried calling heeblet, but she wasn't answering - and i had to rely on a hunch.
on a day like today, i figured that if i was calling the shots i'd go back to the little hill where we stopped a couple of months ago on the ramat gan side of park hayarkon. it just made sense.

and i was right! as i got about halfway up the hill everyone else started down it, so i quickly turned with a smile and greetings to everyone. the nice thing is that that's the second time that's happened, and both times were this week. i think it's my week :)

the route was excellent - we did a couple of sections in the opposite direction, which made it quite interesting. the weather was great, the group was vibing, and we pushed hard.

the shower afterwards was perfect. i went shopping (i hadn't had an opportunity to go during the day), and the experience was overshadowed by the fact that on the way out of the building i was met with fresh dog crap that some kind owner had thoughtfully left right outside our entrance :/

i had a nap after i ate, and had to drag myself off the couch to shave, get dressed and go. i'm really glad i shaved.
the club is really cool, two levels underground and superbly styled for deep house. the music was great to begin with, even though it took a while for people to start moving.

girl no. 1: damn. damn fine girl, pretty *and* intelligent. we danced a bit together, then had a drink and went outside to sit on a bench and debate all sorts of stuff. i think i may have screwed things up by awkwardly not kissing her at any stage... and i think her friend was irritated because they left soon afterwards. [i scratched that sentence because she *just* sent me a positive reply to an invite out tonight :)]

once she'd left, a girl-friend threw girl no. 2 at me, who's not my cup of tea and i suspect had had a few cups of something harder than tea before we met. i was amiable, and brushed off her advances as sympathetically as i could... which didn't seem to work very well. but i didn't want to say something along the lines of "listen, you're not doing it for me" because she's a friend of a friend and that would make things (at least, so i thought) even worse.

the music improved dramatically, and we really danced for the next couple of hours. in particular, awesome remixes of personal jesus and josh wink - a higher state of consciousness really got me grooving ^_^

the girls left. not in a good way. girl no. 2 got mad at me because i played dumb and ignored her invitation to take her home... the music got a bit static after they left, and it was 5am already. i walked slowly home, the full moon accompanying me along with my beloved house collection [ah-ha! i couldn't remember anything about this track except that it was from the same period as eiffel 65 - blue]. i had a quick shower and passed out, certain that i'd be awake a couple of hours later.

---
SUCCESS! i slept until afternoon ^_^

i've just spent a couple of hours typing all of this [and the previous conference notes], watching ninjai (it takes a couple of episodes before it gets awesome), planning movies with girl no. 1... now it's time to relax a bit. or play frisbee :)

conference first part 2

thursday began with my rediscovery that i'd made a bad backup. the data was fine, but i'd formatted the drive incorrectly :/

i made the 7.27 train easily this time, possibly because i knew which platform to wait on. i had a sudden insight on the way to the conference, which i had to share with nystire as soon as it struck me: "i'm being paid not to break anything". that's not really true, but it's the only narrative i can give to my present situation :P

my course buddy from yesterday sat with me for the rest of the conference, which was good because there were a lot of times where we needed to prop each other up :P

lieutenant colonel lullaby opened the day with a long-winded explanation of "responsive space", and was met by exceptionally irrelevant questions from some old guy who'd read something or other in a newspaper that had bothered him.

i suffered a few coughing spasms during the day. the timing is always just right (murphy-wise) to cover something interesting.

someone mentioned "dr evil": it took me a few seconds to realize that that was an italian accent making an attempt at "dr evans". it had a slight effect on the meaning of the sentence :P

spacex's "time is money": christophe bauer really did make all the governmental types look bad. his presentation was interesting, short, sharp, to the point; it included a brief summary of all the cool stuff they've been doing, and made up for the boring, long job-justification shit that had preceded it.

after a quick break, the futron programmer / salesman gave a presentation on their statistics package. i'm not usually a big fan of such things, but with the handful of examples that he threw out to make his pitch he provided an interesting picture of the space industry at a glance. one day, when i'm big, i'll most likely be paying for that.

aside from an amusing verbal typo of his, wherein he listed the swedish space budget as being €100 [instead of 100 million], i found my train of thought wondering the back-country and i was feeling generally inspired by the end of his talk.

the amos satellite excitement: all i could think of was "i'd rather read it all than hear you drone". don't read your damn presentation, you monkey! they could've handed out a flyer, it would've been easier on the mind. i think half the audience was drooling.

the laser communication lecture that followed was a lot more interesting.

thinking that the head of the fisher institute would speak before lunch, we sat through the discussion on defensive solutions. quite easily the most pointless of the lot. if you've got nothing to say... stop. please.

for me, personally, the important note for the day was borne my conversation with my previous TL's brother about 24 hours earlier. it took me that long to register that something that he'd said was indicative of a void in the israeli industry - one that's exactly what i've been meaning to fill since i first got enthusiastic about scaled.

[i just found myself amused by the fact that "scaled" is a south-africanism for "stolen"]

so the bottom line for me:
1. my ideas are still extremely relevant
2. there's a strong demand for them
3. sitting through the boring items gave me plenty of time to ponder the interesting stuff, and i walked away from the conference with my ideas more finely tuned and a lot of inspiration.

we had dodgy chinese for lunch, and i suggested that my course buddy apply to fill the vacancy i'm about to produce in my section before getting on the train. i decided that i didn't need to attend the "youth education" section of the conference.

getting off the train, the doors opened and everyone crowded round them from the outside as usual.
"can i exit freely, please?" i asked - and was amazed that at least one person took half a step back. how hard is it to let people out first?!

my arrival back in tel aviv was greeted with dust. it was time to get indoors and stretch out on the couch while i reformatted the backup drive.

karmic comeuppance

the report back on the rest of the conference has lost priority:

i just awoke from a great nap, my sat-phone was buzzing and creeping off my bedside-table (that means that i had to pull myself off the couch to walk over there)... my SC enthusiastically gave me the bad news, and no matter how i tried i couldn't get him to understand that it is bad news.

whoever's in charge has decided that i'd be perfect for "job x". that means that i have to interview for the job, in spite of the fact that i don't want to be in the army any more. now i'm going to have to make a noise :/

as i told my SC - he really shouldn't have spoken highly of me. not because it'll make things difficult for me, but because he's going to look a bit foolish when they discover that i'm not as nice a guy as advertised. i told him he got it backwards - he's only supposed to give me a good reference if i ask for it. in that case, of *course* it should be glowing :P

[note: now that i know there are people out there - and that includes friends of mine - who have an issue with my non-traditional usage of the word "karma", i feel the need to specify that i use it in its accepted form because i do believe in the rule of three]

conference first part 1

everything was alright this morning - i'd left myself a buffer so missing the first bus wasn't an issue. the woman at the train station's counter told me i needed to be at platform 2, though, when i was supposed to be at platform 1. this wouldn't have been a problem if i hadn't been standing on the wrong end of the platform, where there are no signs and the speakers don't work properly... i only realized something was amiss once the train had left, and had to wait another twenty minutes for the next one :/

on the plus side, i still made it in time without having to take a taxi.

it didn't take too long before the audience's silence was broken by someone raising the translation device's volume too high... hearing everything simultaneously dubbed in english was rather distracting.

double-dark matter: a prize was awarded to a student pursuing dark matter. the man giving the prize gave a speech explaining her research... which she then repeated on acceptance. wasn't she paying attention?!

i find the difference in wearing my glasses astounding. i'm actually surprised when i can make out the tiniest details on a face half a lecture theatre away.

the minister of science and technology spoke, and i can't recall what he talked about because his delivery was decidedly boring.

nasa's charles bolden gave an excellent talk. one thing that i found a little weird was that talk of the challenger tragedy caused goosebumps, but the columbia disaster merely brought sadness. i would've expected it to be the other way around, and i'm thinking that maybe it's got to do with the age i was when it occurred.

he then joined a panel with enrico saggese (a.s.i.) and thierry duquesne (cnes), run by zvi kaplan - who might be perfectly good at what he does, but that's definitely not public speaking. it wouldn't have hurt him to prepare some more. he shook and stammered, and was only made to look alright by the french lullaby... there was a man even less prepared.

i ran into a buddy from the first leg of 2008's course, and we hit the tent to discover the israeli space scene. i had no idea. there's a bunch of people who might be able to help me :)

dr diane evans vs professor nir shaviv - the co₂ debate. climategate aside, there were a number of solid points made.
1) the fact that nothing is known doesn't mean there is no problem, but it also doesn't mean that there is a problem
2) point 1 refers to climate only. continuing to pollute our planet and carelessly deplete its resources is going to cause us other problems that will be at least as bad as global warming.
3) regardless of our behaviour regarding the environment, the apocalypse could be triggered by any number of factors, including external ones. we need to have a backup plan ready. i don't want the taliban wiping out our history. [how's that for a random, anachronistic example? or is it?]

"i'd rather not look at the sun through a telescope" was what went through my mind when he was done. surely that's a harmful way to search for sunspots?

we had a sad lunch* [repeat], and i took a walk to the mall hunting something more substantial. i ran into my previous TL and his brother (who i've been reminding myself weekly to get in touch with for just under a year now), whose initial advice was fairly straightforward: get a degree in the field. considering the fact that that's impractical for someone who needs to work for a living, i'm going to have to pursue the way i was thinking of. at least now i have a matching external opinion.

* running into my unit commander when i'm on paid forced vacation pending release was just a bit awkward.

i rushed through the supermarket for oreos and coke, then returned just a couple of minutes late for the virtual tour of the i.s.s. by one of the astronauts. wearing his flight suit, we were joking that when you're an actual astronaut you never take that off :P

an interesting presentation made me ponder the possibility of transferring parts of venus' atmosphere to mars.

i saw a demonstration on what might one day be the basis for a cosmic router. cool stuff.

the rest of the afternoon was covered by our air force commander's half hour of nothing - he didn't really talk about space, just mentioned it as an aside while describing basic military needs that nobody (in the current forum) gives a crap about. the applause he received was perfectly delayed, and he walked off with his confidence visibly shaken.

in sharp contrast, four-star general kevin p chilton's speech was excellent. he spoke about space debris, and when he got to his final points he drove a personal one home unintentionally: i seem to have been a few years ahead of the pack in my thinking, but the pack is catching up. as i've always maintained though, i don't care who does the stuff that needs doing, just that it gets done.

nystire's previous TL called me up, she's arranging a section breakfast. aside from some advice, i gave her my assurance that i'd make it :)

the first thought when i hit the sidewalk: "is that security officer hitting on me?"
i think she was. we had a pleasant chat until we got to the train station, at which point i hurried past her... only to meet up with her again on the platform. that was only slightly uncomfortable :P

the fourth sms from urchin regarding going to the ozen bar got me fed up, and i silently uninvited her. i'm glad i did, she would have annoyed me. i don't think we're going to be friends anymore.

blue / blonde hair, blue stockings on the train, eyes meeting and lingering but not so much as a flicker of a smile, and so i walked away.

i walked and bopped the whole way home, awesome rock (mostly jimi hendrix and jefferson airplane) and a pleasant evening. i went shopping for a frying pan, realized that meat packaging is a skill that demands practice and not merely an explanation (the new meat counter lady isn't too good at it), and made slanted eggs to go on my smoked beef sandwich.
why slanted? because it appears that the counter has a very slight slope :P

at least i was right about one thing - using a pan in good condition allowed me to manipulate the eggs properly, and they came out great!

OH NOES!!!!
between penny arcade, xkcd, sinfest, and schlock mercenary, i can't choose :S
why can't i add a quarter of a vote to each?

[pauses to walk (bopping) to the ozen bar, meet the artist i shot down in the tail end of this post, thoroughly enjoy einav jackson cohen being wonderful, meet a pretty girl and actually invite her for a drink]

wow - i can't believe i've had a lot of fun *and* arrived back home in time to pretend to be a normal person (more or less) in the morning :)
i also can't believe that it's taken me two hours to finish this post, but to be fair i did watch half an episode of battlestar galactica and had a shower.

now - to sleep!

cool runnings

very cool - i can't believe i couldn't find my mask... only i just rediscovered it, and i'd left it in such a "clever" place :/

i napped a bit, then tried cooking spaghetti again. the second hot-plate took forever to bring the water to an almost-boil, which kinda sucks :(

i experimented a bit more with a java app, then suddenly realized that i was late to meet the group... i sprinted to get there, and arrived second to last. the only problem is that both of us had missed them by at least five to ten minutes. fortunately he had a phone number, and the two of us made a mad mission to catch up, with only a couple of terrifyingly dodgy maneuvers before suddenly finding ourselves in the middle of the group, but going the wrong way!

the route was excellent, the group was great, and that included a pleasant run-in with a new pretty girl. the end of the evening was overtaken by a philosophical conversation with an israeli-arab in the group, which was closed with a discussion over whether or not i'll be able to make the race in omer on saturday.

now that i've cooled down, i think it's time to shower and get to bed so that i'll be somewhat awake for the conference :P

chattered teeth

good grief - it's cold enough that i'm sitting here with a sweater under my ski-jacket while i wait for the room to heat up (i knew i forgot something, it was to turn on the air-conditioner).

the day began with a stranger reminding me of something that i'm used to thinking about other people - i made to get off the bus before we arrived at the stop, and there really wasn't any reason to hurry.
"not now, sweety," she said, and i just sat and admired the view for a bit instead :P

i walked into the deserted consulate, pulled out the forms and suddenly remembered that i needed passport photos. in spite of having sought them unsuccessfully within the last couple of days, i turned out my wallet again and was irritated that they were most certainly gone. that cost me a mission to get them redone, and a coffee shop breakfast while i waited for them to be printed.

of course, i found the old ones when i put the new ones in. they were exactly where i'd expected them to be, and i can't figure out how the hell i missed them. needless to say, i was feeling slightly confused, helpless and frustrated.

[just discovered that biting into an apple is a bad idea. more on that later]

the forms were hell. i'm usually not particularly good with them, but these ones were tricky and i needed a lot of help - i think the lady was glad to see the back of me. it looks like it's all done, though, and now i have to wait up to half a year to get my new passport. and probably a day until the ink comes off my fingers :P

on my way out i got in touch with the fisher brothers institute. i'll have to pay (although the nice woman managed to wrangle me a student discount), but i managed to score one of the last available places, and i won't have to wear a uniform ^_^

on my way home i picked up my hoodie, which is back to its bright whites :D
i came back entranced by cream - n.s.u....

i did a little shopping (eggs and munchies), and made myself a sterling fried egg + corned beef sandwich. it would have been even better had my old flatmates not ruined my frying pans... i'll have to get new ones tomorrow :/

i was in a hurry to make my dentist appointment, so i walked up and down the stops at the city garden looking for a line to take me closer. bus drivers in this country are wonderful. if they don't have a stop in the road you're looking for, the answer's no. even if they have a stop fifty metres before it. that's bloody unhelpful.

i was only a couple of minutes late, and was hurried into one of the rooms with a cute blonde dentist who was hands-down the most gentle i've ever experienced. i didn't even feel the needle go in, the filling itself was almost comfortable, and i can't really blame her for the pain while cleaning.

at least, i don't think i can blame her for the inside-facing gum above my right incisor being sliced [checked a bit later, i think it might be her bad :(] - the apple just reopened it. i don't mind that so much as i did the fact that she needed to separate my incisors to file the constructed one - i made it perfectly clear that i am terrified of gaps, and although she did a good job of not giving me one i'm still extra-conscious of it.

i met nystire outside, still bleeding, and we hopped to azrieli. after harrassing the poor sod at the bug store, i decided that the asus eee pc that was on special was a good deal, and it's now charging next to my bed. it's definitely solid enough to serve my pretentious writing-at-the-coffee-shop needs, and it'll definitely carry me through my studies: ignoring my recent memory upgrade, it's even stronger than my pc :P

we walked back to my place, plugged it in, then walked to coffeeholic. nystire didn't stay longer than he needed to warsit, and i enjoyed my coffee and wired until the chef arrived, at which point that turned into chatting over cake. that cake is awesome.

just before i left, he asked me if i'd noticed it getting colder. on the way back i really did - it's ridiculous how quickly the weather shifted from cool and wet to frigid and clear!

i've done the online thing, now to try and be productive. or nap first ;)

semicolon usage!

i've seen the first chapter - what a nice little ninja! [quoted from mac hall]

caught 22

i can't recall what kept me up for the next couple of hours, but i'm fairly certain i was in front of the pc for most of them.

another day begun by coughing my lungs out. yippee. i got in touch with mmf as soon as i could breathe fairly consistently, and hopped a bus to pay him a visit. seeing as i'm currently interviewing on the assumption that i'm going to be released soon, i expressed my terms (a full starter-salary for half-days) and was glad that the ceo's taking it under consideration :)

i should possibly mention the weather that we experienced today: fast switches between sunny and drizzly. i enjoyed it thoroughly :)

i got home, hung up my laundry, prepared a sandwich and walked it to the driving instructor. the religious secretary (reading psalms between people*) was new and uninitiated, so she had to pass me through to someone else to get the details.

* i find it most distressing that the religious fill every spare moment with psalms. it's a great mechanism to distract themselves from the secular world (and protect them from cognitive contamination), and it's a wonderful way to control people by not providing them with a chance to do any actual thinking.
surely, if one finds oneself using every spare minute to convince oneself of one's "beliefs", then they're not so much "beliefs" and may need to be re-evaluated?

back to the story, learning for a motorcycle license is a bit more complex than i anticipated. i now need to evaluate how serious i am about actually purchasing one, otherwise the license might be a bit of a waste...

i walked with solid house accompaniment today - there was a specific moment that needed to be highlighted: nrg - he never lost his hardcore got me thinking of hyperviper's trademark quote, "the harder, the darker, the louder, the faster... THE BETTER!"

and through all the shit, i don't think i ever lost my hardcore ^_^

i saw the dentist, which wasn't particularly painful, and i'll be going back tomorrow for a filling. i came home, hurt my fingers with my guitar, and took catch 22 to coffeeholic with intention of completing it.
in spite of the fairly long conversation with the owner, a telephone conversation with a training buddy about forming an alternative group, and being momentarily distracted by each pretty girl walking past (and saying an awkward hello to aya zahavi feiglin), i managed to finish reading catch 22 - and i'm truly sorry that i didn't read it before serving.

the usual summary of the book does it no justice whatsoever.

i ran into the chef on the way back home, picked up a shelf on the sidewalk that doesn't fit, and spent the evening in front of the screen - at first with a beer, popcorn and battlestar galactica, then fiddling half-heartedly with java.

now it's bedtime. i got in touch with the south african embassy, and i think tomorrow's a good day to sort my dual citizenship and passport out.

cooked!

it's been a long day. it began with my first reminder to call our SC and make it absolutely clear to him (however much that's worth) that i want out completely. i have no idea why i thought that i'd put on my uniform (i guess i was a little sleepy), and i shaved completely unnecessarily. i felt like an idiot about two minutes later, while i was picking out clothing to wear.

everything took a little longer than it should have, and i guess an hour had passed before i left the apartment the first time, delivered a misdirected letter to a neighbour, and returned because i'd suddenly realized that i had time to deliver my penny arcade hoodie for dry cleaning.

having done that, i caught the bus to the city officer (thanks, mum! apparently i did need the reminder). the medic pushed me through to the doctor, and i only had an hour and a half to wait until i got in. a couple of times my cough got so bad that i had to run up the stairs to the bathrooms, tears clouding my vision and in agony... let's just say that i wasn't having the time of my life.
at least during the moments of calm i got some rough planning done, and was inspired to consider purchasing a netbook so that i can be one of those assholes who sits in the corner of the coffee shop all day long ignoring everyone.

the doctor almost made me throw up by abusing my throat with a tongue depressor - i *hate* those things. eventually, he gave me a script for two different types of sinus-dryers (sudafed to keep me awake and nussidex to put me to sleep), plus an antibiotic in case those don't help, plus medical marijuana for the chest pain.

i might be kidding about one of those.

i trekked to mmf's workplace, a bit of a mission in the sun and not at all worth the effort on account of it being a sunday, and him working normal weekdays. i felt a bit silly, but it wasn't like i was in a hurry to do anything else :)

i stopped for calzone on my way home, ate a couple of oranges*, took a sudafed (thinking it would probably keep me awake), put on an episode of battlestar galactica, and passed into the deepest siesta i can recall. i dreamily answered the phone when my cousin from the kibbutz called (i promised myself years ago i wouldn't do that, but it's hard to think that rationally at the time and my phone-answering imperative is pretty well-formed), to hear some really good news - she's decided to go to south africa soon, and i think that that's a superb idea :)

* i've reached a point where i feel that eating the oranges is a better idea than squeezing them for juice. you get *all* the juice, plus all the other bits that are healthy, tasty and just don't work in juice, and it's less mess to clean up.

it was dark and stormy when i left to visit the hardware dude - it took a couple of missions (one to return and take measurements), but i acquired electric hot-plates and a decent locking solution for the perspex toy protector. i also passed by the computer store to get a quote on a netbook - it seems like a good deal.

my taekwondo instructor called me back just as the skies opened up. i felt like a bit of a heel, but i explained to her that i'm done. i explained exactly why - exactly what's been bothering me and how i've reached the point where i'm too frustrated to continue.

when i got home and had the hot plates set up, i installed the perspex cover. as soon as i was satisfied that it was good, i opened up my bobblehead judge death and my invader zim home base figures and began playing ^_^

it's been a few years since i received them, and i'm so glad that they're finally on display! i'm only upset that one of the spider legs broke, and my mad superglue skills were no match for the fracture :/

i uploaded some photos, then went shopping for the first time since before i left for south africa. i bought the usual basics, included pears (very nice pears), and spaghetti. i haven't cooked spaghetti in years. it may be incredibly easy to prepare, but in my case self confidence is everything and i need to ease it gently out of the gutter.

the first-use smell wasn't too bad, and the spaghetti came out nicely. i am very proud to say that i've just cooked my first meal in my new apartment :)

!sdrawkcab lla s'ti

the day began well enough - i woke up comfortably around 9am, painted my bathroom mirror (the half-assed red stripe at the bottom was irritating me), and sat online until karnaf decided that it was time for breakfast.

breakfast was excellent, and we were joined by two cute girl-friends of his. we all chatted for a while, and i enjoyed that too.

i made a navigational mistake and walked down ben yehuda to meet with egg - that road just keeps on getting longer and longer :P

egg and i missioned and talked, eventually ending up at a nice bar with a really cute bartender and an eight-hour happy hour. the chilli con carne proved too hot for me, but the afternoon was great. i think i made an ass of myself by giving the bartender my card when we left - i thought there was some kind of a click, and now i'm fairly sure i was wrong :/

aside from the earlier navigational error, i found myself walking very, very slowly today. as in, no hurry to get anywhere and rather deeply stuck into my own thoughts. most of those thoughts centered around the disbelief that my present status has changed so dramatically, and every now and again i giggle when i remember how awesome that is :)

i didn't nap when i got home, although there are blank spots in my memory of the episode of the prisoner that i watched, but i followed that up with an episode or two of battlestar galactica and then got stuck into catching up on comics - in particular, schlock mercenary. i'd have bought the box set immediately if it had cost less than $100 - i'm trying to sort out finances in my head and i'm wary of any and all purchases.

having said that, tonight was quite expensive. i had a cup of coffee while debating urchin's sanity and our extreme communication failures on a bus stop bench, enjoyed ma'ayan hirschbein's performance at levontin (she just gets better and better) with a rum and coke and then a jägermeister, and afterwards caught a shuttle and a mars bar to the ozen bar for daphna and the cookies (they're fantastic!) and a half-litre of murphy's.

i'm still bitter with myself for having walked away from a really good-looking girl who was actually being friendly - i got awkward and i don't know why. meh.

on the way back home i stopped for a half-pita of shuwarma, and was surprised by the guy working there when he exclaimed that he'd thought i was on blades. i think he might have recognized me from before. i turned around and bumped into one of scrapper's friends, and an idiot friend of his who serves in my unit that i've never met before. we sat talking, arguing army, debating music, and then went our separate ways.

my cough has been most horrid today, my lungs feel quite tender and i'm fairly wheezy. on an unrelated note, i spent the day amused by the way i was dressed: mac hall logo shirt, my red red sweatshirt (open), black fingerless gloves, and my new, cheap black shoes with red and black laces. the effect was rather... tidy :P

i'm going to go continue to try to empty my lungs, shower, brush my teeth, and pass out. in the morning i have a few things to do, not least of which being to call up my SC and make extra-doubly sure that he understands that i want out completely, and not a unit transfer.

dilbert's monkey model makes me smile