a yawn on the bus

i'm exhausted and on my way to an event that i'm completely disinterested in attending (like 90% of the people who'll be there). at least we don't have to be in uniform, although i'm secretly hoping that accidentally leaving my soldier's id at home will have me barred from entering...

i slept like a log, woke up alright, and got ready more or less on time this morning, but from the second i put my left foot in my boot it's been giving me grief. a bit later on my wrist got finicky, and my neck took most of the day to regain basic mobility... *whine*

the day itself was irritating, from microsoft's backward-ass rapid development environment to our labs being unavailable (and there's me playing private investigator and then being accused of leading witnesses when i discovered that foul play was afoot). the only good news was that a lot of the grunt-work i did a few weeks back can be totally automated - the guys thought i'd be upset, and as usual couldn't understand that although i've wasted my time, i'm happy that nobody else will have to...

it's such a "me" mentality. i can't stand such a complete lack of team spirit.

speaking of wasted time, a meeting with our SC that shouldn't have taken more than two minutes but got stretched to about 45, and made me think of the word "moron" way more than is healthy. i *love* being dilbert.

the mess hall food was almost good, so we told disgusting stories over lunch in order to keep things balanced :P

i've had a proper headache since i got in to work, which wasn't helped by mmf causing me to walk around for 45 minutes when i went to pay him a visit after work. the new office is crazy, there's a bunch of guys from the old crew working there, and i think going back to them after my service could be a lot of fun.

the bus ride is almost over, which means the fun is about to being :(

sore neck, sore wrist, sore feet

i missed the bus this morning, and missing by a small amount really is as good as by a mile. i sat with a cup of coffee and a book while waiting for my "usual" morning ride, and bore witness (unofficially) to a couple of people fighting after one had dinged the other's car. it amazes me how badly people can behave while doing something as simple as exchanging contact details.

i didn't get a lot of work done today, but managed to close a couple of important things anyway. i also participated in a meeting that i found to be both purposeful and interesting.

the birthday celebration was nice - really good cakes, the tennis ball i prepared was joined by a small coconut that my TL found, and the impression they made together was great. i did manage a bit of a faux pas a bit later on, when another team-mate miscalculated the main gift's cost per person and i made fun of her out loud... the birthday boy was sitting between us at the time :$

i left early again, with a shopping mission to perform before training. unfortunately, this mandated being a part of the pushing and shoving that's required at certain times during the day in order to get onto the stupidly infrequent buses. i was miffed for minutes afterwards. i managed to do the shopping comfortably, though - i tried to film the guy's response when i approached him with a rather awkward request, but he didn't so much as flinch :/

hi. i'm, umm, looking for a gift for a friend of mine. i'm looking for a men's magazine, but with, umm, slightly more mature women.
the guys want to send a gag gift to one of our section who's doing the same course i did last year, but these sorts of things just aren't available. instead, i walked out with the marge simpson playboy for my previous team-mate, who's been going nuts trying to get hold of it :P

i missed the bus (this time it was expected), and caught a different one that turned out to be even better. i would've slept the entire way if my TL hadn't called me up... we missed something a few months ago and tomorrow we're going to have to write a full report. joy!

my feet hurt after thursday's training, and they're hurting again now - the floor in our ra'anana gym isn't right somehow. the warm-up was fun*, the stretching fine, and the forms great... and we got to fight.

* although my neck's out. at least i'm seeing the physiotherapist tomorrow :D

1) i can't believe i got slapped in the face for continuing to open my mouth. my immediate reaction was affront, then wonder, then amusement; i have to admit that while it's a stronger response than i'd expect, it was pretty much deserved. and i actually did shut it for the next fight :P

2) apparently i scared nystire. i actually enjoyed messing with him. unfortunately, he caught my wrist with a freak kick (undefined random lashing out) and it's a bit uncomfortable. nothing too serious, at least :)

3) i wish i'd fought the second fight first, when i still had the energy required. i couldn't figure out my opponent, and hesitated far too much. in the end, i was merely reacting and the couple of kicks i got in just weren't enough to combat the whirlwind of attacks he was drilling me with.

my mother sent me an sms - i have a ticket for new year's! and that's next week ^_^
(my mommy totally rocks!)

the bus ride home was fascinating - i spent it swapping ipods and chatting with a woman from our tel aviv training. it took a while for the conversation to find a groove, but it was quite enjoyable and i was surprised when i realized we were about to hit my stop.

showered, fed, watched an episode of big bang theory. now bed.

song for the week: dead or alive - you spin me round

only slightly less antisocial

breakfast was excellent. i was horrified to learn *just* how amazing karnaf's snowboard trip went, and i really hope i can join in for the next one. i really hope it'll be similar, too :)

a long, complete breakfast, an interesting chat and then an introduction to the kindle by one of the other patrons that turned into an interesting aside on moby dick and then another on the iliad rounded off the morning.

after lunch i stopped by the irish member of ze germans, just to say hi and then carry on home to hang up laundry and put on shorts. i then met up with urchin and we missioned around, disappointing passers-by when we didn't do anything more interesting than take photos of me. some sort of focus technique she needed to try. apparently it worked, but i wasn't totally blown away.

karnaf called me to tell me that frisbee was on, so i started walking in the direction of the park. i must have been about two hundred metres from the entrance to the park when he called to say that they were done (i'd begun on the other side of the city). almost immediately afterwards, one of my co-workers called me to say that he and his girlfriend would be rollerblading at the sportec, so i walked home, strapped on my blades and headed out.

i'd promised myself the last time not to travel on the right side of the road - the roadworks ensured that sand got into my wheels :(
on the other hand, i ran into an old friend, which was a pleasant couple of minutes before i carried on.

i enjoy teaching - especially when the people i'm teaching make an effort. also, while they were practising what i'd been explaining i messed around with the kinds of things i used to before my accident*, which i rather enjoyed - and only once almost hurt myself (miscalculated landing).

* once upon a time, going down avenue st. bartholemew almost from the top and having a car stop neatly in front of me between a wall and a streetlamp pole, so i couldn't go around after i'd accumulated some serious speed (probably around 60km/h**) - shouting "GET OUT OF MY ROAD!" didn't help, but i was fortunate to spot a side-road that i'd never noticed before.

unfortunately, the side-road was steep and narrow, and my wheels couldn't hold the angle. i slid for a few metres on my right thigh before hitting the curb and coming to an abrupt and painful stop, sans a goodly-sized chunk of thigh muscle. of course, the bastard whose fault it was (he didn't have to stop, and certainly not *right there*) just drove on, while some friendlies in the neighbourhood came to help out.

for weeks i couldn't walk properly (although rollerblading was fine), but i never regained the confidence to do silly things until recently.

** a friend with a speedometre checked us on a downhill once. i thought maybe i'd confused the numbers, but i just read that it's possible to go up to 50km/h on a straight, so it may have been even more (it's a steep road).

we missioned to ze sushi, and in addition to spending a fun evening together i managed to strike a deal with the sushi chef; we'll see if things fall into place or not, but the plan is to join him with cross-style training. it's a less intimate version of mixed martial arts :P

after coming home and showering, i finally managed to sort out the troublesome door handle in the bathroom and prepped a tennis ball for tomorrow's gift. it's now late enough that i'm not going to get enough sleep, so here's a couple of moments from the past hour or so of messing about online:

the first term to make me laugh in a while: immaculate congestion

my response to a mail entitled "how ironic...":
it's not often that i get to type "define:irony", but here your usage is incorrect AND is directed towards more than one person.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

just so you all know - there's not one instance of actual irony in alanis morisette's song - which makes it a delightfully ironic (albeit accidentally) song.

how's this video for putting this week in perspective?

tightly timed

what a wonderful moment, sitting here with a single stream of sunlight gently warming my spirit far more than it warms my body, that important task being handled by the great coffee and my gigantic penny arcade sweater.
it's a fantastic post-storm clear, sunny and relaxed saturday, and perfect stillness to complement the hectic nature of the day before.

yesterday began early, with a trip to the hardware superstore to buy light fittings. i had to walk them home in the rain, and the clouds were making a point of taunting me - although in their defence, they were kind enough to hold back the flood until the minute i walked through the door.

i understand that the only way to discover leaks is when the heavens open and each droplet turns into a probe, but having to set a bucket on the patio to catch a veritable stream of water and praying that the roof won't cave in completely is uncomfortable to say the least.

[pays, begins walking to breakfast]

the electrician didn't get much done - it turns out that my concrete ceiling is a little more than he bargained for. i thought i'd Get Stuff Done while he worked, and hopped off to retrieve my pc - finally having bitten the bullet by requesting a memory upgrade that should've been done when i began playing with the gimp - image editing is a bit of a strain for just one gig.
as i stood there, letting the idea that i need to invest in a can of compressed air sink in (and being slightly embarrassed that my cpu's cables have greatly expanded due to consistent overheating), that the rain went from "downpour" to "wrath of the gods" - all parties agreed that it would be wise for me to take it back another day.

a good thing too, because the techie had forgotten something and called me later up post-panic - when you disconnect the boot-up drive, weird things are bound to occur. looks like i'm in for a re-install.

so i arranged the house-sitter's spare key, paid the electrician and agreed to finish up during the week, learned that i've got real work to do on my patio roof, and headed off to training.

training was painful, training was great. i haven't fought in ages, and although it wasn't easy i thoroughly enjoyed myself. except the part where i almost disabled one of the kids, his badly-timed roundhouse met my back kick toe-to-heel, with cracking results.

a walk-and-talk to scrapper's car, then home - shower - dress - train station, and her and her boyfriend picked me up for family dinner. it was a wonderfully busy and well-fed evening, but after such a long day extremely tiring. and for the first time in years, she and i finished it off with an argument the reminded me of the troubles we had towards the end of our relationship - she can be very, very difficult to reason with sometimes...

i went straight to bed when i got home - waking up at 3am to wish my team-mate a happy birthday was a no-go, for which he was grateful when i informed him at a more reasonable hour :P

i've made progress with my door handles, had great coffee, enjoyed this walk (although it could've been less anti-social), and am now ready for breakfast :)

the real snot-monster

it's raining now [well, it was when i began posting], a cleansing, thoroughly drenching downpour that's perfectly suited to my current mode.

aside from an annoying argument over lunch (i couldn't get the guy to stop calling autism a disease), and a wonderful point made about king solomon's famous "let's cut the child in half" afterwards, it was a fairly uneventful day.

i took off early today, using two of the hours my shuttle travels have gained me over the past couple of months. that allowed me to get to training on time*, and tonight's was particularly gruelling. my body's reaction post-dust wasn't pretty, and breathing was particularly difficult. on the bright side, i think i've done a good job of reducing the damage done by a week of no less than three jelly doughnuts per day.

* stopping on the way for my favourite shinto meal. while waiting for the bus from there, i took a photo of the skyline and an agitated navy private questioned my intentions - i think he thought the camera was aimed at him. i was left amused.

the warm-up was crazy - one of the guys brought a meaner, heavier ball that leaves pretty solid marks. we had fun :)

also, having misunderstood an instruction in self defence, i got smacked in the head with a shoe. what made that action more surreal and shameful was that it was *my* shoe.

scrapper and i have just had a couple of extremely interesting conversations, and i have to admit being a bit jealous of the way his brain works. it's a combination of curiosity and intelligence that flows in all directions, and it's pleasing to argue with.

two more weeks until i arrive in south africa, and i am *excited* ^_^

[post interrupted by bus arrival, waving to sunshine but not actually stopping to say hello, orange juice, a fantastic shower and a brief internet check]

i'm lying in bed with my neck engaged by the massage pillow, and it's definitely time to dream.

mitebreathing

philosomatika made this morning perfect, right until a few minutes ago when i stepped off the bus at the train station and into a nice, thick, woolly dust storm. it's hard to breathe when mucus turns to cement inside your nasal passages and the back of your throat.

how nice that spitting in uniform is frowned upon.

on comms

i had to wake up early again this morning because my alternative ride doesn't believe in answering calls from unrecognized numbers, and my sat-phone's battery was dead.
of course, nobody whose number i don't have stored in my phone could possibly have something important to tell me.

i almost missed the train this morning - luckily a conductor saw me and held the door after the first one closed on me :/
at least today, unlike yesterday, the first bus arrived on time and we didn't have to fight to get on board.

the doughnut ceremony this morning was full of amusement: in addition to jokes about our SC walking into his office to find his desk covered in frosted sugar - immediately shutting the door, pulling down the blinds and making loud sniffing noises - it was suggested that half-portion (the ass from this incident*) be renamed "achmed" in light of yesterday's instruction :P

* what an interesting coincidence! nystire had us all discussing a very strange plan of his involving two girls one cup, and the incident occurred on the same day that i saw it. that's just weird.

speaking of nystire, he and my TL had a communication breakdown that got me totally riled - it appears to be the topic of the week. when two people are culturally opposed and their native tongues are completely different, both of them need to be flexible in both speaking and understanding, both of them need to be extra-careful that the message was received in a similar fashion to the way it was sent. this is not something to be taken lightly, especially in a work environment where communication is key (isn't that most work environments?).

the thought occurred to me that maybe i should run a list of don't-see movies in addition to the must-sees. another just hit me now - maybe i should publish a page here on my blog too...

the guy whose code i'm reviewing got stuck with something i asked him to do, and then i got stuck trying to help him out. some things flow much easier in one's head than they do in writing, and the two of us sat together on it and eventually came up with something manageable. i felt good about the fact that i didn't have the answer immediately at hand, because for once he didn't end up feeling like i was flaunting my english superiority.
i hate the fact that people think that i *like* knowing more than they do. i mean, i do - but i'd rather they knew as much as me and that *i* knew even more :)

i began working on a new side project this morning: playing danny gilboa's new single as close to once hourly as possible, in an attempt to duplicate the results of radio overplay - people who don't give a damn about music don't listen to it, until it's played enough that it sinks in subconsciously regardless of its quality.

that's me being cynical for you.

i began a work-related side project as well, a fun one involving pictures. pun for the day - they're called picChars :P \
it would've been more fun if i hadn't had so much trouble with microsoft standard software grief. the visual studio environment is just pathetic when it comes to gui stuff (how much processing and memory does it need to move a picture on the form?!), and the combination of locked resource files and microsoft paint's lack of a proper undo facility led me to accidentally destroy about twenty minutes of painstaking pixel editing.

so yeah, i remembered today that i hate computers in general, and microsoft in particular.

i did it - i arranged an appointment with the physio for next week, and i remember to talk to the techie about my pc. apparently the situation's not as dire as it looked, but i'll only be able to find out for sure on friday**.

i don't think the exercise i did this afternoon really counts, but at least i didn't do nothing at all.

the bus ride back was pleasant until nystire instigated an argument with idiot-girl, leading to my heightened blood pressure levels and intense desire to smash things. it took a while to calm down, but the problem is that our entire unit runs on similar lines... at least my countdown to getting out is underway.

** of course, friday will be pressured because i'll be sorting out the final episode of the current electrical works. the electrician and i just spent over an hour planning not only the last day, but phase two, which should commence around february and will include all the things that we missed due to my inexperience.

urchin's just arrived, it's time for a beer.

[post delayed on account of beer, lack of a title and a surprising outburst that got me into the role of therapist...]

yes, she tried

and yes, she succeeded in making me angry. really angry. it's the part where idiot-girl proves that the most dangerous disease threatening humanity is a social one, our conditioning to support what is essentially "survival of the weakest".

moronic behaviour really shouldn't go unpunished.

massage, soup and sleep required

this is the first time today [on the way home] that i've felt able to write stuff down (i've been feeling sick, and posting from my phone will always be a little awkward). we're finally on our way home, having successfully (as an entire unit!) managed to skip a huge military ceremony :)

yesterday morning was rainy, darkly beautiful and not unreasonably difficult to wake up to. in fact, while waiting for my ride (the alternative, the "usual" one and i aren't vibing and he's on holiday) i had a smile on my face :)

the conversation on the way was a bit tricky... we were discussing the im/practicality of getting married in a tasteful manner without suffering the expense of the regular channels. i found it a bit difficult to end the debate on a comfortable note, however, because she's getting married within the next couple of weeks and all those massive expenditures have already been settled... as i said, while it's certainly possible, i'm going to be hard-pressed to find a woman who'll agree with my ideas. maybe that's how i'll know she's the one :P

we began the workday with a big doughnut meeting. one of the girls introduced us to אחמ‏"‏ד‎ ‎(achmed), an acronym for "i'll eat half of everything" - an interesting diet concept that allows one to eat three doughnuts in one sitting on condition that they were consumed in half-portions :)

a lot of the day was spent on coercion, trying to advance use of the wiki. i pretty much gave up on my current task - i don't have enough information to do it properly and the last thing i want is to have signed off on something that's inadequate...

also, i began to feel ill and that made it a tad difficult to concentrate.

my distressed team-mate seems to be getting worse, and i don't actually know how to help. i broached the topic of perhaps seeing the base social-worker, but i did it supremely awkwardly and at a really bad time. in trying to be tactful and talking about my own needs for a little support, i came across as really troubled myself. which i am, but not so much that anyone has cause to worry about me.

lunch: the mess didn't look so good, so a few of us went to the base's centre. i walked in to the place that sells the closest thing to food, and stood in line. just before he noticed me, the large, middle-aged man in front of me stuck his thick fingers into the fries' warmer. i was disgusted, but then he saw me as he stuffed the chips into his mouth and i assumed it wouldn't happen again.

of course i was wrong, and i was shocked to find myself having to explain to him that what he was doing was bothering me.

when i rejoined the group, i brought up the experience and induced a debate about barbarism, values and israeli culture. this turned into a major (loud and long) argument with the village idiot, who has proved through it to be one of the most intelligent and enlightened of our section. the critical turning point of the argument was when the issue of my attitude towards urban culture turned to the difficulties that nystire and i have in communicating with others in our unit. it's all a logical extension of the last week's irritation with my ride, but yesterday it came to something useful.

the kinder and i are still childishly locking each other out of the office at every opportunity. on the way back from lunch, we both rushed the door's keypad, only to discover that it was already open - because i was trailing, i had the good fortune to be closer to the entrance :)

on sunday evening i purchased a box of eclairs for the karting. the birthday boy (okay, so he was celebrating 10,000 days and not a birthday as such) brought the leftovers to my desk in the morning, but i wasn't at my desk and my TL didn't have the presence of mind to put them in the fridge or let me know that they were there... all's well that ends well, i guess - due to it being winter they were still delicious ^_^

ah, i forgot to mention the incident from sunday. before getting into the go-kart, i asked nyah-nyah to look after my things. i noticed that she'd put my ipod on her lap, and when i told her that it holds the most value to me she asked why i called him ukko. when i explained that it's my green, ugly and disgustingly horny dwarf she couldn't get it away from her fast enough, actually jumping out of her seat }:)

the bus home was a rough ride, and i still wasn't feeling good. i ran into a neighbour i used to serve with, and we stood chatting for a while about the unfortunately warped attitude most people have towards academic studies - he was surprised to find that he's not the only one that understands that you don't need a degree to enter a profession; a university is a place to receive an *education*, and you shouldn't waste your time studying something you're not actually interested in.

i put on human clothes, then walked to the hardware depot. something unusual in my manner - i can't quite figure out what - caused women to eyeball me the entire way there and back. odd, and satisfying.

i photographed the installation i want, and discovered a contingency model too. then i hunted down door handles, finding decent-looking cheap ones.

on the way back, i stopped in at two galleries. the first one had some nice stuff, but the second had absolutely breathtaking pieces. it's good i'm not looking to invest, according to the price list i have *very* expensive taste :)

once home, i ate quickly and then took my frisbee to rabin square for a solid session with scrapper. when i say solid, i mean the frisbee was actually bloodied by the time we were done :P

[post interrupted by ride,train, bus, a door handle that requires a related technical degree, a shower, and laundry that contained an irritatingly overlooked tissue]

after the session, we walked to my place for freshly squeezed orange juice and for me, a pirate bath before my old neighbour's performance. all the people i invited bailed at the last minute, but scrapper walked with me to the bar with an interesting accompanying argument.

the show was great, although i think he was a little too controlled. i enjoyed myself, and was pleased to see more people paying attention - but i was also very tired. perhaps i shouldn't have had a beer AND rum. regardless, it was an excellent end to an interesting evening and i even enjoyed the walk home.

the early wake-up this morning was alright, although i could have done a better job of rehydrating myself during the night. i was a bit careless, and almost missed the train - one of the reasons was that the sunrise was absolutely phenomenal and i had to take pictures.

[why am i still posting from my phone?! i'm not sure if posting from my bed is justified]

i felt lousy the entire day, which was divided between sleeping on the bus and lurching behind other members of my unit as we learned about the maccabees. the food wasn't too bad, and a fair amount of the experience was quite enjoyable.

but i'm now exhausted. an early night it is.

vrooming

i now know that aquarius was performed by 5th dimension.

i stopped for an aroma coffee on the way out. either i won't do that again, or i'll make more of an effort to find a plastic spoon - the half-melted chocolate at the bottom drove me crazy until i got into my office!

i moved computers this morning, which meant i could actually work. it was far more pleasant working out of sight of my TL.

food report: the main meal was dodgy, so it was okay that the portions were reduced to make place for the doughnut... even though the doughnut was inedible.

one again i've become concerned about hearing loss... and problems with my vision. i hope it's all just perceived or stress-related :(

i discovered this evening that i thoroughly enjoy karting, even though the last time i did it i sucked. i had a pretty decent run, with a couple of hairy overtakes once my confidence kicked in ^_^

dinner / dessert* afterwards was entertaining, with a lot of inappropriate discussions and some highly amusing dissecting of our similar experiences with and opinions of the polygraph procedure. it feels good to talk about it with people who've been through the same stupidity!

* i suffered a bit of a lactose overload today; people just don't get that some of us can't tolerate an indefinite amount.

on the way back, we passed an area called nes tziona (zion miracle). a major point of contention between myself and mpe was that i wasn't prepared to leave tel aviv to visit her there... ignoring the fact that i was working fifteen hours a day, i wasn't prepared to go there because anywhere not tel aviv holds no interest.

i asked the guys if they also thought i was mad (like my section, for instance), and they all laughed knowingly. they even shared the algorithm for the maximum distance from tel aviv that one may travel for the purposes of sex:
15km * n weekswhere n is the number of weeks one has gone without. that makes perfect sense! although with my history, that means that i should be willing to travel to norway by now :/

yay! another late wake-up tomorrow :P

the dawn zone

[as opposed to the twilight zone]

is this what sleeping "normal people" hours is like? it feels a bit strange, waking up at 6.30 after a good night's sleep with good night's dreams and feeling... okay.

weekend wisdom

the rest of the day was mostly as described earlier, except for the bit where i cleaned my apartment and had urchin come over to watch bad boys. i can't believe how much of that movie i quote on a regular basis :D

i lit candles for hannuka, and am very proud of myself for having done so. my house, my style and the candles were even kind enough to not make any mess at all ^_^

i do have a headache now, though, but i think that's easily attributed to too much screen time. so i'm going to go to bed early with a book instead of making it worse :)

the social-ist

i slept beautifully! right through until the morning, for the second day in a row!
nothing like rain to keep me comfortable :)

sleep brings me more joy than should be appropriate... but even if the next week is business as usual, at least i've gotten caught up.

i have spent the entire day so far loading my ipod, sorting out my new cupboard shelf, fixing my hardware drawer (i overloaded it a little), and watching a lot of full metal alchemist. i've just opened a guinness in honour of another one :)

thought for the day - our SC wears his bluetooth a lot, it might be fun to inject "voices" into his head ;)

stretched out and in time for bed again

hmmm - i'm sitting on the beanbag next to my desk, watching the screen intermittently at an awkward angle because while everything else is connected connected to the laptop, i don't own a usb keyboard :/

i cannot express my gratitude for this laptop enough. not only have i been unable to leave my desk for the last hour, but i've been loading ukko with a very respectable selection of goa trance :)

---
yesterday:
i was dead tired. the super-unhealthy breakfast from our base kiosk was alright, but the morning soon went sour - my previous post explains that. i spent most of the day under attack by the goblins in my pc... i didn't get much work done, and occasionally had to release a scream or an expletive...

to celebrate hanukka, which began tonight, we had a quick unit gathering with doughnuts. exceptionally doughy doughnuts - while some complained about them not being baked enough, i had to help myself to another one :P

the end of the day was consumed by helping one of the new kids write up a full report on a mistake he made... and this was two days after we'd all received an almost identical report from another section. it's not clear how much shit he's in, but i showed him how to use the report as a tool for preparing for the impending court-martial.

my eye aches were quite severe, i spent the day in search of a massage:
a) temples. it's incredible how sensitive and tense those muscles get when exhaustion reaches a certain point.
b) feet. for some reason my feet have been aching the last couple of days. massaging them on computer corners and chair legs isn't very helpful - but i found the solution at training. the bars we use for pull-ups, climbing and stretching? PERFECT for putting all of one's weight on exactly the right spots. it was struggle to pull myself off.

training last night was great, physically i was sore but a couple of guys from the old group were around and we were all alone for over an hour, so our instructor went old-school on us. this was exactly the right atmosphere in which to bring up all of our complaints, and we really got everything off our chests. here's hoping it'll make the difference we want to see, ie. bringing things closer to how they used to be in the good old days.

we're such fuddy-duddies - i mean we expect our instructor to be tough on us, we expect to fight and to fight hard, and we expect that people will be there with the aim of improving their skills.

ridiculous.

in other news: for being crap with my throwing arm and for demonstrating bad timing on a number of occasions, i ended up doing over 500 push-ups last night. my arms were a little tender by the time we walked out.

---
i almost went straight to bed when i arrived home, and woke up at 9am with my alarm buzzing... fifteen minutes to electrician.

we're almost finished the first round of the work that needs to be done, and i'm a little irritated that we only now discovered something that would've made me plan the computer area differently. it's not a big deal, but it could've been handled better.

i took my pc in for repair, and am waiting for the news. i really, really hope my drive's rescuable [really?], because i discovered this morning that my backups were confused between two locations, and i'd been making them on the drive that's invisible :'(

[hmm - i seem to be getting used to this keyboard...]

after the electrician left i headed off to coffeeholic for breakfast with the iliad. i'm convinced the difference is in the translator; robert fitzgerald is not only exceptionally faithful [i've heard from a number of sources], but readable too :)

i sat with the hardware dude for a bit when i picked up mini-brackets for the shelf i found on my way home (just a centimetre short of fitting snugly, what a bummer!), and now he wants to come to south africa too :P

i bought myself a candelabrum for hanukka, which begins tonight. i came home, had a snack, then headed out on my blades to join the sunset rollers. the group began a half an hour later than i'd expected, so i had time for a beer and some jumping practice before we left.

there was a cute girl there looking for rollerblades to help out with a video... she asked if i was available to help out on sunday. i smiled, and asked what time - twelve o' clock noon. i couldn't help giggling, for me it's either around midnight or not on a workday. pity.

the group was good, and we had a very chilled roll through the park. we stopped to light the first candle and have doughnuts - very cool - and were treated to thunder and lighting... it was decided to begin heading home, which turned out to be a fantastically wise move as it began to rain about halfway back!

after a steaming hot shower, soup and a mug of marshmallow hot-chocolate; after catching up on comics... it's now time for bed. maybe i'll go out if i wake up early :)

anger in the morning

my morning ride is a complete and utter douche. i witnessed him washing dishes this morning, leaving the water running full blast while soaping up each item.

of COURSE i said something.

he started explaining why it's okay, and that set me on edge. i told him he could simply turn the tap on and off between items, that it didn't matter if the tap got suds on it... at which point he became a righteous prick, because he'd misunderstood and thought i meant that it was okay if his *cup* had suds in.

i really can't stand him. once he understood what i'd tried to say, he began lecturing me about being a grown-up, and about speaking calmly (as opposed to him, speaking softly yet maliciously), and about how he's come to terms with the fact that he's not perfect.

yeah, i'd kinda noticed that. what i tried to explain to him - that explanation falling on stupid ears (i'd say deaf, but that wouldn't be as accurate) - is that he doesn't need to be perfect, he just needs to minimize the amount of damage he causes while enjoying the same quality of life.

what i really wanted to do was hit him. hell, i can't even say all this to him because he's a higher rank and enough of an asshole to defend himself with it.

what a crap start to the day.

no compromise!

this post brought to you by delayed sleep phase syndrome. [thanks, shadowslight]

the performance last night was both excellent and upsetting. the music was great, but my interpretation of it was as an extremely leftist political statement - especially the last sentence, which is what convinced the others that it was exactly the opposite. we argued a bit, and that carried over into first coffee this morning. that discussion ended with an agreement that what israelis (on an individual level) need to do in order to begin solving their problems (on a national level) is to begin to operate on the basis that "a man's word is his bond".

the general attitude of allowing things to slide is a big, fat root of most of our issues.

---
the day began with hillman on the shuttle, then me passing out completely until we arrived. it took me a while at the end of the day to contemplate what work i'd done during it, and i was stumped. i'm sure i worked the entirety - more or less - i just haven't a clue on what :/

my feet and legs hurt sporadically today, and my temples have been aching. i need a massage (head and feet), and i need a holiday. come on! only three weeks to go :) [and my mum called me up for a quick chat, and plans are moving forward]

a girl in our section got promoted today, and we convinced her to step outside so that we could drench her with water. that was fun, even with her consent :)
the food in the mess was surprisingly good today!

i was kidding around with the guys about my attitude towards tel aviv - i love the city, and i don't see the point of leaving it. not ever, just in general. it's not like i'm not familiar with the rest of the country... anyway, my morning ride - who has no apparent sense of humour - got pissed off with me and began shouting at me for "marketing" the city so aggressively and for living in a bubble.

i explained to him that we're all living in our own private fantasy worlds, and the difference between us is that i'm aware of it.

i got my passport back today - registered mail is a far smoother experience if you go to the local branch and pick it up yourself. i can now visit the states, so i might hop over for a few days next year :)

the horror! my primary hard drive has disappeared. it looks like a hardware problem. i'm not happy. having internet without a hard disk is weird.

just before leaving, urchin arrived and we had The Chat, which was alright and somewhat amusing. if things aren't alright, we've agreed that it's nothing *i* need to worry about. i can handle that :P

i missed the bus. waiting for the next one sucked.

---
i just got back from tamar eisenman and asaf avidan - her performance was fantastic, but their duets were absolutely unbelievable! mindblowing ^_^

bouncy!

wow! my sister called me this afternoon, and it's been coloured shiny since ^_^

my desk is stationed 2m forward right now, while the electrician puts in a power panel for it. in the meanwhile, i thought i'd get the day down before attacking hillman for the first time in weeks.

i think the breaks in between are good processing time, actually.

i awoke from a long, complex dream this morning, and all i remember from it is traversing rapids over a waterfall directly into the ocean, with dirk diggler and myself on boards or in a canoe or something. no stress, just the knowledge that we had no choice but to keep on moving.

i had trouble closing the shuttle door today. new vehicle, and i simply can't understand why anybody would place the handle in a not-immediately-apparent place when opening a door is a function that has a pretty well-established interface.
assholes.

the first thing waiting for me in my inbox this morning was a presentation from the base's education office. it was all well and good, until i found myself staring at this month's astrological column - let's just say that i didn't really expect to see that sort of thing in a military communication, albeit an informal one. let's just say that my response was short, but to the point. just to make things "balanced", i even pointed out that fortune-telling is banned by both the written and the oral jewish traditions :p

i was blown away today by the work. it wasn't particularly challenging, but the fact that i was doing some real coding was in and of itself so engaging that i had no difficulty concentrating, and powered through almost everything in one sitting.
in other words, i can squarely lay the majority of my difficulties at work at the feet of my inability to find proper motivation.

*ahem*
and we all know where *that's* supposed to come from...

i paid the doctor a visit (i saw the reminder late, and had to abandon a freshly made cup of chai). in addition to authorizing the bloodwork i requested, he checked out my eyes and agreed that it's probably just exhaustion.

i'm sure i could do something about that, but then i'd have to skip things like the rock concert tonight and tamar eisenman and asaf avidan tomorrow. no way!

i changed the way i did sit-ups today, and felt them more. that reminds me, we have a number of new kids now and the atmosphere has become one of change - i can almost feel the clock winding down on my service, even if i do still have a ways to go...

"bt - flaming june" has provided an intensely pleasurable background for this post - i'm happy and excited about the up-and-coming holiday ^_^

zombie mode on

okay, here's a quick pre-shave post to summarize yesterday into as few words as possible:

tired enough for four alarms and still almost overslept, becoming completely enamoured with ukko (my ipod), dry hands and wet skies, a day of zombie, in the meeting viciously massaging temples to keep eyes open (kind of like a drawbridge mechanism), riding home early (absolutely insane traffic for the entire afternoon?! israelis behaving well in the rain?!), the cosy shuttle to wait singing for a ride to the pub - a nice pub.

the munchkin disappointed me - the point is to win, but also to play, and nystire and his wife were playing as a team and that changes the dynamic completely. to make matters worse, everyone was playing off the values and effects of the cards and completely disregarding what makes the game awesome - the hilarity of the combinations. the winner made a last minute attempt to piece together her character, but that was definitely too little too late.

plus, the game was so long that it was totally antisocial as far as the rest of the section was concerned, and it looked like they were having fun :(

i went straight to bed when i got home, and now i'm back into "hurry mode".

plans moving ahead

i'm tired, waiting for the laundry to complete before i turn in. the day wasn't too interesting, but the training put me in the mood for a fight.

the day began with the shuttle being cancelled. i made a better choice in where i alighted and got to the office without the headache from last time, at least. on the way, i began discovering just how awesome the fifth generation nano is. it's really great :)

having gotten off at the second stop, i thought i'd stop for salt 'n vinegar chips, but the stand was empty. next time...

first argument: the new kid claiming that there aren't any sci-fi movies without aliens. i showed him my list of about 200 must-see movies, and the vast majority of sci-fi on it was extra-terrestrial free. he began making wild claims about statistics. i hate statistics, they're a load of bull 99.9% of the time.

i am the master of the giant stapler. in our office it's apparently a measure of self worth, because we have at least one engineer who couldn't figure it out.
*shakes head*

nystire's quote for the day (out of many):
"... knives and handgums"
"did you say handgums?"
"i have a sore on my lip, it makes me see things differently"

i have a new sign which i hold up when appropriate. in english and hebrew, it says "i'm being cynical / sarcastic". i've already had cause to use it a number of times, and most of those were necessary.

a lot of times couples refer to themselves as a unit when they say "we're pregnant". when informed that one of the guys in the section has just become a father, my automatic response was "really? i had no idea he was pregnant!", intending the word to mean him and his wife. loads of giggling ensued.

my neck has been sore for a couple of days, i'm thinking of going back to physiotherapy. we'll see how the next couple of days works out.

---
BEEG news for the day! final round of authorization: acquired. i did a little dance, now to pray that that permission holds at least until the plane takes off :)

i celebrated that by consuming loads of chocolate and by cranking up the house. it began with brooklyn bounce - progressive attack and the rest of the afternoon flew by fairly productively!

---

a few days ago i accidentally tipped over one of the pcs. i was embarrassed, nystire was angry... he rocked up at my desk this afternoon laughing so hard he could barely speak - someone was making a point, and tapped the pc with his shoe. the front plate just fell right off! it was obvious that my accident with it had prepared it, but the effect was apparently perfect :)

i forgot to take my books to training, so i had plenty of time to play games with my ipod. trying to control the ball in the maze with the bus shaking me all around was a great challenge :P

---
taekwondo: we haven't actually fought in over two months, and every week there's something new and inexplicable that we have to incorporate. it was never like this before, because we simply never cared about what everyone else was doing and how it would affect our competitions.

there are two of us who want things to change, the rest simply don't know any better. what we need is the other "old schoolers" (those of us who trained before the army took us all in and separated us) to come back and get things back on track... or, we need to find a willing and certified trainer and form our own group.

this sucks.

unforgotten realms

today i celebrate exactly ten years since my world got turned upside down and inside out - when my eyes were opened not only inwards, but outwards as i saw the essential beauty of humanity freed from the burdens of societal misery.

ten years ago today, i started down the fantastic path that has led me to realize possibilities that would otherwise have been totally inaccessible. i have worked hard and sacrificed both sanity and most of the things that most normal people enjoy - some of which i *really* enjoy, and have brought myself to a place where i am proud even of the failings that have been along the way.

i pray that the next decade will be at least as successful, and will include triumphs based on the products of the last.

i pray, too, that i will enjoy it more - and i think i'm off to a good start already ^_^

i *will* buy the hat!

in an interesting turn of events, a couple of friends of mine are interested in house-sitting for me while i'm gone, so i'll be able to buy it without fear of it being abandoned ^_^

i napped for a bit, then took a bus to rothschild 12. i've never been there before - it's a fantastic abandoned house that's accessible only from the back and has the most excellent atmosphere and music. it was packed, so there wasn't anywhere to stand without being in anyone's way, but even that was alright and fairly soon afterwards urchin and a few of her friends showed up.

things with her were friendly, but not at all intimate - this lends me to believe that the conversation i was planning on having with her isn't entirely necessary, so i skipped it.

interestingly enough, i was surprised to discover that bt works there - it was actually pleasant to see her, we chatted (as much as could be considered a chat in a crowded, noisy bar) and i even gave her my number when we left... i don't really think she'll be in touch though.

one of my old team-mates (one of the friends i mentioned earlier) arrived while urchin and i were at the espresso bar (i needed to prep for the next round of drinks :P), and soon afterwards einav jackson cohen began to play (the reason we were there). we made a lot of noise and had an enjoyable evening, and the walk back to ibn gvirol was extremely talkative and fun.

i've had a good night, and am ready to get my slightly-more-than-three hours before the new week begins :)

sunshine, ducks and pathfinding

of COURSE i was irritated. you would be too if some guy had come running straight at you full-tilt with a child in his arms and a look of terror on his face, only to discover that he was just playing with his kid. and it's not like there wasn't plenty of unoccupied space to either side of me. i wasn't sure if she required emergency medical attention, or if i was about to be attacked with a young girl. neither of those possibilities made me feel entirely comfortable.

israelis fascinate me on this point, and my travelling there and back really brought it home. it might possibly be related to the middle eastern lack of respect for personal space, it might just be a general lack of concern for other people. i don't know how it works in the rest of the desert countries, but here the phenomenon is quite pronounced: if you have a choice of where to stand, you'll choose to be in the place that causes the most difficulty for anyone who wants to pass by.

...

so next time won't have such a crowded destination. it took me a lot of chocolate and about a quarter-kilo of ice-cream (all that was left) to begin chilling out, the remainder of the workload taken over by how i met your mother and the big bang theory. maybe cable is a good idea - it's certainly one method of meditation :P

i would've ordered the coolest hat ever if i could be sure it wouldn't arrive between when i leave and get back from south africa...

i am a fan of nicholas cage, and i think these ads are awesome too :)

[didn't i post this already? now i have to add an episode of battlestar galactica, and an sms conversation with urchin that has pointed out the meeting time and place for us to talk about our lack of any possible future.]

no show

hmmm - learning about feet. i was asked why i was looking "intellectual" when i sat down at coffeeholic with the iliad - me in my bright green sunglasses and baggies. i responded simply: "sometimes, one just needs to pretend".

last night's nap, predictably, turned to a good night's sleep. i spent the morning sorted out my ipod (i've got a way to go, but the important stuff has moved), playing tekken shifting papers. breakfast was great, and i'm thinking of dragging a beer to the park on my blades to get a little sunshine :)

all show

the performance ended too late for me to join the rollerbladers... but damn, it was good ^_^

the rum before + the pint of murphy's + the rum after had me walking at an angle the whole way home. while making myself dinner, i got nystire's laptop hooked up and began fiddling. without too much difficulty, i found myself using remote desktop and samba to transfer and manage, and now that itunes has been set up and my ipod software upgraded, the songs are finally on their way :D
[only one and a half months later...]

it seems like an over-powered fix, but it works and that's what matters. maybe some day there'll be ubuntu support for the 5th generation nanos too...

i've now watched the entirety of law abiding citizen, and it's ingenious. well worth watching! now for a nap before going out to the tool and nine inch nails party. am i going alone? crap. although i'm not too social when i'm wigging out on the dancefloor, and maybe i'll meet strangers.

thanks to shadowslight, i've seen the light on a new series that looks brilliant.

show or roll?

i've just completed the experiment, and now all that's left is to see how it washes... spraypaint on overalls? it makes sense, right?

[here i lose over an hour writing this post...]

i'm planning on going to see danny gilboa perform in an hour or so... but that's costing me joining the sunset rollers. i wouldn't be doing either if i'd gone to training - why does everything have to be a choice?!

today:

my alarm was set to wake me up at 12.50am, so that could make it to hear boris brejcha play the comfort... it almost did a good job, only i was so broken and exhausted that it took all of my strength just to send an sms to the organizer to explain the no-go before turning over again. waking up before 7am was still difficult... so it was probably the best decision i could've made.

i got all my gear together and meandered down to the american embassy, getting there a little early. i wasn't happy with having to deposit my phone and my keys - that made me feel rather naked - but the entire procedure was a lot less complicated than i'd anticipated (i'm used to army-style interrogation already, so answering a couple of simple questions wasn't a problem :P) and the most difficulty i experienced was standing in line when my legs were still sore from last night.

after i received approval, i walked up dizengoff (frau blau has a store, i *had* to take a photo - she's a crazy girl who appeared at a russian "japanese pop" party at the lizard once) to meet with karnaf, who's on his way to a snowboarding trip. i be MIGHTY jealous.

i went past ace to check out spotlights, then came home and finished spraying my overalls. i tried to verify something with my credit card online, but the site gave me shit about my password. it was only once i'd gone through the whole "i've lost my password" process that i realized that i'd been typing in the wrong bloody language... once i sorted that out, the site reported itself as being down and told me to come back later - not cool :/ [i did have to scream a little]

yesterday:

i tried to post on my way home last night - i got distracted...
i'm on the bus and unable to nap, so instead i'm going to mention a couple of points about my day and then fill in the blanks later. i'm quite surprised to be feeling this okay, considering that a short while ago i was pre-faint dizzy from an exceptionally painful stretch.

i actually did sleep well after i got home last night, it appears that good food, wine and company have a profound effect. waking up was rough as usual, which means far less difficult than the insanity of the past few days :p

the day began with an argument over how to be social. my TL is (as i'm sure i've mentioned before) a bit of a dick. as it's been the entire week - i found it mighty hard to concentrate on work. at least i seem to be doing alright anyway.

i was pleased to receive a personal telephone call inviting me to a party tonight - i'm going to go just to hear one specific set, otherwise there's no way i'll be capable of handling the visa application interview in the morning :p

the lunch effect was just as bad - if not worse - than usual. it happened later than it ordinarily does, however, which leads me to admit the possibility that it's not the lunch so much as a deep-seated desire for siesta.

a music video that i saw recently and was blown away by (it's sheer artistic genius, called trucker's delight) is also highly offensive in its content... otherwise i'd post the link here. nystire helped me acquire it to show a couple of people that i thought would appreciate it, and i was right - only there was no way to prevent unwanted eyes from peeking, so i hope nobody's upset too much by it.

that reminds me, the new kid's making a valiant attempt to teach me music theory :)

my right eye's been giving me trouble - hurting at random. nystire suggested that it may be a stye forming, which led me to wonder out loud what the army dress code has to say about wearing a stye-patch.

the shuttle home was chatty - the village idiot and i had a good laugh about our shared experiences with our SC and discussed the lessons we've learned from them.

training last night was difficult: although it wouldn't have been particularly challenging for any regular day, i was physically exhausted and everything hurt. while stretching (45 minutes, according to nystire) we discussed the old days and what it was we enjoyed so much about taekwondo. there're a lot of things we need to bring back, but the primary difference we identified was that in the days before most of us went into the army we didn't give a damn what the rest of the country was doing - we just focused on doing things the way we knew best. being concerned with everyone else is essentially took us down from a position of leadership to one of moderation :(

i'm shocked that according to my blog, i missed a day (wednesday) completely:

it was a cold morning, and unfortunate that i left too late to be able to go back for my jacket.

i had a spark of inspiration concerning a fix that someone else in our section needs for something, so i played around for a couple of minutes to see if i could get it to work. my TL suddenly appeared next to me, staring at my screen and not saying a word...
"this is related to your work, right?" he eventually asked. my temperature rose by about 3 degrees.
"no, and it was obvious to you that it isn't. why don't you just say what you have to say, instead of being sarcastic?"
"no, no! i wasn't being sarcastic at all! i thought it might be related to your work!"
"yeah, right. well, it isn't."
"you know that your current project is really high priority, right? that we're..."
"look, i've been working on this for a couple of minutes, and in less than one more i was planning on letting it go. this conversation has wasted more of the project's time than is entirely necessary."
"ah, only a couple of minutes. okay, carry on."

i finally put batteries into the witch i got on my birthday, filled her cauldron with candy and invited everyone to dig in. the response is entirely random, which was kinda disappointing. i think it's only effective if you hesitate, and the more times you get caught the more you do. now she mainly waves her broom and cackles when i want candy :/

i was highly amused to discover that she cackles when the lights go out. a girl in my team was completely terrified when she slept in the office on wednesday night }:D

this siesta thing is crazy. let's assume that it's my digestive system kicking in on disagreeable army food, because that's still the explanation that makes the most sense. it feels like it's sucking all the energy out of the rest of my body, i become really tired and my eyes strain just to identify light from dark. usually a five or ten minute nap does it, this week i've needed no less than half an hour each time - a bit tricky when your TL has a tendency to peak over his shoulder constantly.

...

at last! something positive to say about my lord and master: i called him over to give me feedback on what i've been doing this past week, a mammoth task that taxes me on a number of levels, not least of which being my comprehension of loads of technical hebrew. he was happy with my progress, which pleases me.

we began exercising, but were interrupted by a number of urgent items... i slept well on the shuttle home anyway.

in the evening, the electrician came by and tidied up a few points. i now have good lighting in my bedroom and the entrance hall is neater.

the mongoose picked me up, and we went to a place in jaffa called "just meat" (רק בשר), which is essentially a butchery with a great atmosphere and place to sit. the meat is excellent - you pick out your cuts, they prep it and bring it on a grill to your table. the prices are very reasonable and the wine is pretty much bottomless.

we ate too much.

it was great seeing the mongoose for more than five minutes - we had plenty to catch up on. i keep forgetting that i do have close friends in israel, i just barely get to see them :/

improvement

that was really nice - a bit chilly, so i'm glad for my mask as usual. i had a rocking good idea on the way back: in addition to a can of beer, i stopped for a half-pita with shuwarma, the combination of the two was perfect.

my experiment didn't go so well because i did it in the wrong place, so i'll have to try again :/

going to bed now, feeling much better than i was earlier :)

sleep, favour and service imbalance

i'm completely exhausted and unable to sleep. this is harsh. i got back home and to bed around 2.30 - 3am, and although i set my alarm for 5.30am i only managed to crawl out of bed an hour later. the afternoon saw me crash, but not for particularly long :/

last night was nice - aside from two ex-team-mates, and a couch-surfer from latvia, the place was crowded with unknowns. the sdia case study was interesting, yael deckelbaum was excellent as usual, the girl who sang before her (a very similar style to sheryl crow) was great, and i was blown away by asaf avidan & the mojos, who i'd never heard before.

unfortunately, the rest weren't as awesome - david broza literally put me to sleep, izabo is not the coolest band in the country, rami fortis displays a frightening amount of energy that is completely disproportionate to the music he's singing to (and he's about 60)... and of course, the only girl there who caught my eye had hers on the girl she was with.

*sigh*

---
today's travelling was all about favours. when you're helping someone out with a ride, it's okay if the ride's not perfect.

i don't mind waiting for you to fill up (10 minutes?) instead of taking buses for over 2 hours (that's my math for you).

you have an errand to do beforehand? oh no! we'll walk. and get there at the same time, only less comfortably.

yes - strangely enough, i'd rather you take me to a useful bus stop even if you can't take me to my doorstep.
strange, huh?

the people i work with are bloody weird.

---
visa company: i called them up to ask them to stop sending me physical mail. they actually have an incentive program so that customers will move to email only, so i not only got what i wanted, but i scored points as well.

electric company: i called them up to ask them to stop sending me physical mail. the guy i spoke to told me in no uncertain terms that this is impossible. i asked to speak to his superior, at which point he began to shout and became abusive. when i calmly explained that i didn't feel i was getting ideal service, he put the phone down on me.

i called again, this time recording the call. a guy answered, i told him what had happened and that i wanted to complain. he took my number and passed on the complaint to his superior, who called me back a little before lunch. i recorded that conversation too - she also stated that what i wanted was impossible, but she gave me the fax number for public complaints and advised that i give it a try.

then i addressed the complaint: i told her what had happened, and she expressed disbelief. then it was my turn to express disbelief... i'd spoken to the same guy twice.

---
i had a haircut this morning. depressing as usual, but not as bad as usual, in spite of the fact that my greying is becoming more pronounced :P

marshmallows and hot chocolate go together, liquorice neither adds nor detracts.

the new guy brought his acoustic guitar to base, which provided a welcome peaceful moment when the technicians took over my pc. a few of us resumed late-afternoon exercise... my belly needs it!

i discovered that the wired team's christmas wishlist contains an item that i own! my new jawbone sunglasses ^_^
i'd like a fair amount of the rest of the list, too, but i guess there's nothing crucial...

i had an interesting idea for new year's - i just spraypainted my alternative orange overalls to test the effect, and i hope it comes out well (or doesn't come out at all, more to the point).

i showered when i got home, tried to nap but failed, spoke to my mum, had a shot of rum but that didn't help either, and it's now time to ride. at least i know that i'll sleep well when i get back :P

bombed, soon heading out

i'm sitting at my pc, exhausted but i can't nap because the electricians here making sure it looks like my apartment has been turned inside out during a hurricane...

on my way back to work i met with nystire to shop and have lunch. and resume complaining about yesterday's irritation with my TL and my team-mate. i had no idea that when i'd arrive back at my desk, things would get out of hand and my team-mate would be put into an even worse situation than the one that concerned me...

i took my TL out to the corridor for a chat, and explained to him the same thing that i explained to our SC a few months back: it doesn't matter if you're justified or not, it doesn't matter if you're fair or not... it matters that your soldier thinks you are...; he eventually agreed to try to find a way to sort things out. i let him know exactly what i think about his and our SC's way of "sorting things out", which is generally them asking someone to do it and then saying "we tried our best" when the answer invariably comes back negative.

a short while later, i turned around to discover that our office was filled with people - they sang, gave me an amusing birthday rhyme to read and then handed me a gift: it's a bowl for candy with a motion-sensing witch that defends it with her broomstick and cackles. delightful!

it's perfect for me, because everyone's always coming over to eat whatever's on my desk :P

i had a fight with my morning ride over the use (or, in my opinion, rampant abuse) of acronyms in our documents. i think that shortening a word by two letters to a non-standard acronym that's in direct conflict with a well-known and accepted one is bullshit.
כ"א is "human resources", not "every one (of)", and it distracts me every time i have to think which one the author intended. that's just one example, but he got angry with me for being patronising in my request for the practice to end.

it's fantastic that we all share a sense of humour. we each think the other is extremely unfunny; nothing we say translates in either direction :/

the day eventually did end on a good note - i finished a section of work that's been quite trying, and the goto guy and i had an amusing chat on the way back to tel aviv.

i came home, got out of uniform (mostly), put on a pair of shorts and then heard the doorbell ring: the electrician. he was here a few minutes when the girl i bought the backpack for rocked up (with milka chocolate, nice!), and we sat chatting over coffee for an hour or so before she had to go.

i've been in front of the computer since then - mostly responding on facebook: i don't think i've ever received so many birthday wishes before - it's a bit disorientating! soon i'm going to have to do a quick re-clean (experience tells me it's not going to be spotless when he leaves) before heading out to the barby for the AIDS awareness concert.

how it should have ended.com does have some pretty cool stuff :)

and here i was thinking...

... that it was going to be a great morning... i mean it *did* begin with a late start and lots of birthday wishes...

the bank: i got my card, but in addition to the slight awkwardness of not sitting with my usual representative, today's was being decidedly annoying.

the bus: i think i picked the wrong one :(
it took longer than usual, i had to stand the whole way next to smelly people, and then had a longer walk than i remembered.

the stupidity: after turning into the wrong road (a good five-minute detour), i found the right one - different from how it appears on the map. with a strange turn, and building number 3 sits between buildings 4 and 8. of course that's an obvious one, so why would anyone need to put up signs?

i walked into the ground floor office: it took a while to figure out that i'd walked into an unrelated company. so it kind of made sense that the woman at the desk kept trying to tell me that i needed a different department.

when we realized the source of the confusion, she directed me to the first floor. no signage there, so i asked someone - second floor. still no signage, but then a woman stepped out of the elevator and gave me more specific directions for the first floor. i finally found the right company on the first floor, only to be sent with improved directions back to their office on the second floor.

all they need to do is LABEL THE FRIKKIN' DOORS. i finally got to the right place, and after only two attempts to explain that i was RECEIVING a package and not sending one, i got what i needed and headed out.

the boss: he's being a real idiot of late. today he didn't think to let me know he was in the area, so i could've travelled with him and been back on base already. he's not even willing to ask if anyone in the unit would be willing to pick me up from the train station, so i'm forced to bus.

nystire's right - i need to think carefully about my parting gift to him and our SC when i eventually get out.

at least for the next half hour or so there's nothing to do but sleep or read :)

a wedding and a remote funeral

i begin writing this at 2.19am - i've just stepped out of the shower, which i entered immediately upon arriving home from my previous TL's wedding. the wedding was nice, very traditional, and i really enjoyed seeing my old team again. it amused me that the ceremony took place in exactly the same hall where i met lake about 9.5 years ago - so much has changed since then, and so much has remained the same!

my TL upset me this afternoon - he just doesn't get that my team-mate's authorization to take a holiday isn't a matter of deserved or not, it's a matter of his having worked stupidly hard (and overtime, which doesn't get credited in the military) because of bad planning that was entirely not his fault, he's been doing way more guard duty than anyone else recently, and the guy deserves to have his commander care enough to help him out. it's a motivation thing - he's not a machine, he's a human.

even if all you can think of is the system, give him what he needs or he won't be able to continue producing!

i'm going to leave off the bad planning rant for now - our commanders just don't know how to think rationally, apparently.

i had to give the new kid a talk on the first big project i did - and was surprised at just how much i remembered. it's arbitrary stuff, trivia that he won't actually need to remember (i certainly don't), but it all just sort of rolled out on autopilot with barely a thought. i wonder if that's an indication that whenever i get released, my brain will still work well enough when the perpetual army headache goes away :P

nyah-nyah had some advice to share, and i think i agree with her. it's time to let urchin know that she's not the one.

post-lunch was tough today. the food was actually decent - i almost called in to complain that it's not like that every day - but i suffered the need for siesta terribly.

the ride who offended me recently got in touch to ask if i wanted to leave the base with him - i accept the offer as an apology. i got home quite early, and used the time to discover routes and times to the wedding and that my purchasing has been fairly well controlled the past month. my mum called, and we chatted for a while...

i was sad to hear that my primary school hebrew teacher passed away - he was a real character, and a very nice man (verbally abusive, but amusingly so). the man taught my siblings, who are a generation older than me, so that's quite a history he took with him.

as i said to my mum towards the end of the conversation - turning 29 doesn't bother me, and turning 30 won't. i've seen more, thought more and achieved more in my short years than most people manage to their entire lives; i have a plan i still believe in and the ability to make it work; in spite of my sacrifices and the shit i've had flung at me these past few years, i live well. i really hope *knocks wood* that this year is the start of things taking a turn for the smoother, for both of us.

i quickly got dressed, wrote on the pretty paper and used it to secure the cash gift, and made my way out. getting there wasn't a problem, although it would've been nice had the bus driver not dropped me off two stops before the one i needed :/

at least i get to wake up late this morning (7.30)!

urgh = that late already?!

dammit.

a) the hike
a pleasant walk, although too easy - there were lots of families with whiny kids that needed to be ignored

b) acre
*way* too many people in my personal space. and lots of them hostile - there's really no difference between arab youth and arsim. they're all looking to prove their strength and be ultra-cool greasy douchebags. plus, i was concerned for my pockets.

just in case anyone mistakes my defensiveness for racism, i hate the tel aviv, jaffa and jerusalem markets just as much. although in acre, the arabs are a little less sympathetic towards others. or maybe it's just something personal about me that gets their eyes flashing.

in addition to being in combat mode, a lot of the streets of acre were pure sensory overload, like something out of a comic book with all the pages crumpled together. nothing like being stuck in the middle of a caravan of moving horses and carts with balloon men and hundreds of people bum-to-belly [he says, politely] and pushing and shoving while the stalls occupying the majority of the roads are filled with screaming sales.

lunch was great, although by the time we'd gotten there i'd been tense for too long, and we still had to go back - the way back was even worse :(

c) the drive
the drive back seemed much longer. probably because we were tired and mostly talked-out.

d) the rest
not much rest, mostly people called me when i needed to be getting ready for

e) panic ensemble
amazing! as usual. i don't know if i'm more impressed that there were so many people than i'm annoyed that some of those people showed no respect for anyone else or the band. how hard is it to silence your damn cellphone? after it's already rung once?!?!

f) chat
i stopped to talk to one of the girls who works at coffeeholic while she was closing up - she was surprised to have heard from soundman that *i'd* gone to a trance party with him. that started a discussion on whether or not it's healthy to be two different people - i tried to explain that i'm one person containing a bunch of conflicting ideas. the difference between me and most other people is that 1) i'm aware of my "selves" and 2) i don't try to "fix" it because i don't see it as a problem.

up until a historically short time ago, this sort of thing wasn't such a disease. i think things would be better if people would realize that all the fucked up things that go on in their heads are more normal than any concept of normal that they get from the society that they see around them. just chill, accept yourself and move the hell along.

as for me, although i'm extremely uncomfortable serving in the military framework i'm completely at ease with my level of discipline. i'm a hippie with big plans, who understands the need for our civilization to defend itself in spite of a strong desire for peace.

g) patience
if israeli's could ever learn patience and manners, things could be so much better - but they won't. some idiot got confused and went through a red light... and got so pissed off with a biker who'd gone through the green that he almost ran him over.

h) the end
dishes, dinner, how i met your mother, shower, bedtime

gotta run - backwards

blading

my feet are tenderized, i'm a bit sore, but i'm feeling good. i had a shower after spending about seven hours on my rollerblades - at first joining the "critical mass" cyclists careening through the city in honour of "buy nothing day" and demonstrating alternative transport in preparation for kyoto 2... then joining the sunset rollers (after a beer with the chef at the very cool pub he moonlights at) for an unbelievably cool mission that included five levels of an underground parking lot and the most perfect promenade in jaffa.

two unpleasant items:

lesser - the jaffa residents are not overly-fond of jews, and were quite threatening. this got a debate going with heeblet about morality*

greater - a completely unnecessary incident of violence. i only saw the end, a taxi driver hooted aggressively right behind one of the guys, and when he eventually stopped the guy went over to his window and hit him. aside from that being a completely irrational and unhelpful response, it also jeopardizes the rest of the group(s): we don't actually want the police to think of us as problematic, because then we won't be able to go at all :(

i'm still laughing at heeblet, one of the other girls made a (rather pathetic) pass at me, and her immediate response was "mine!". i don't know if she knows that i heard it :P

* i've discussed this before - we have developed a remarkable sense of morality that doesn't allow for the idea that other people don't share it. it doesn't allow for a situation that demands treating someone (or a nation) as an enemy.

when all other possibilities have been explored, and have been proven fruitless, we have to fight. it would be nice if i could write "there are some wonderful, caring, peace-loving arabs", but even though it's true, it ignores the greater truth that most of them hate us. it is simply irrelevant whether or not this hatred is justified, because although we can talk of mutual misunderstanding - they don't care. as a group. what individuals think is irrelevant, because individuals don't dictate the behaviour or sensitivities of the rest.

the other important thing that's of concern with our idealism is that we always lay the blame squarely upon our own shoulders. "if only we could XXX, then everything would be alright". the problem with that attitude is that it ignores the fact that the other (nation or person) is also human, also has moral codes and a concept of right and wrong... and that concept disagrees with ours. we need to accept that we can't fix everything without giving up exactly that sense of morality which got us in this mess in the first place.

i'm going with heeblet and a couple of others to acre tomorrow for a hike. this should be interesting :P

breakfast

coffeeholic, a sandwich and a quick chat with the guy i went to the festival with (soundman) and the chef, some idle chatter with very cute girls, and passing on of flyers for the cycling group.

iFix

after two hours in bed, nystire woke me up and i headed off to meet him at azrieli. i was understandably broken - he gave me a laptop that at some stage this weekend i'll hook up so that i can load my ipod off it. after spending time staring at game demos (with me becoming more and more glad that i don't allow myself the pleasure... the stuff available of late is just amazing) we stopped for coffee before the kid picked me up - we didn't have enough time to park the car, but we had a good chat nonetheless.

the party

well i'll be damned. that was absolutely incredible! the intensity, the goodwill, the general craziness; the sense was that i must've been one of the only people there who hasn't been to goa - it was a night of revelry and nostalgia (slideshows, live drumming) and driving goa then psychedelic trance that wiped out all worries and had us wigging out until dawn. my ears are stuffed and my body took a beating - i actually had to take a ten minute nap on a couch towards the middle because i just couldn't move anymore ^_^

all the while i had a huge grin on my face.
1) being with my people
2) in a month's time i'm going to be rocking up at prism for new year's. last year i thought "i've never needed it this much before", but i had no idea how much more desperate i would be after this last one. it's definitely time for renewal!

the nap

half an hour, before heading out with coffee to catch a taxi to the party. i entered at something like 1.30 or 2am, and was very glad to have a ticket in hand :)

dinner

scrapper fed me again, we talked music - he's apparently an expert, i think i may need his help with something that's been running through my head. on the bus back, a woman sat near me who looked almost exactly like lena hyena. i couldn't not smile.

training

not bad, although i have plenty of work to do. i couldn't focus on the one-steps.

travelling

i had music with me*, so i could actually get somewhere in the book without being distracted... almost - there was a mother on the bus who didn't have the self-confidence to reign in her kids. i can't stand that - don't be embarrassed to be a parent.

* when i paid the fare, the driver said something incomprehensible. i had my earphones in, but no sound - he was mumbling, and then claimed that if i'd removed the earphones i would've heard. dumbass.

"work"

the day ended with an interesting lecture, one of those "should've had that when i started". nystire horrified me with his inability to eat instant-noodles without producing gurgling, sucking noises.

i'd overheard him saying something about celebrating on the phone - i couldn't help myself:
"alcohol's not good for pregnant women. tell her she should stick to designer drugs"
[that was a joke - apparently designer drugs during pregnancy cause a wide range of issues, from miscarriage to weird birth defects]

i thank firstfallen for the word for the day: "snot-monster". that was me, suffering not-so-quietly. it was rough. really rough. as rough as the low-quality base toilet paper that i was forced to use when my tissues ran out.

it was the dubbelzout that saved my day, along with the copious amounts of tea and honey.

the vegetarian meals on base aren't great - but they are far more palatable than the weird excuses for natural protein sources that have to be hidden in disgusto-sauce before people will accept them. i don't think i'm getting all a growing boy needs.

i had a great argument with one of the guys - he doesn't understand that when it comes to taking care of our environment, taking care not to cause too much damage is only partially helpful, not being vocal is akin to not being a part of the solution. we need everyone to care. another big issue is that people don't understand that doing a little is better than doing nothing - we can't all be perfect!

when we got around to discussing rollerblading, he displayed what i have come to think of as a unit disorder - the people in our unit suffer from a fear of doing social things, particularly with other members of the unit. this is why we scrapped paintball, and why we never get a d&d game going.

i spoke to my cousin, we're almost done getting me ready for next week's visa application interview. "are you at home?" she asked.
"of course not - i'm at work."
"but you sound sick!"
"..."

if you don't have a fever, the army doesn't send you home. the fact that nobody cares if i can actually work or not bothers me.

first mail of the day: what's in a sausage, and we you shouldn't eat them. thanks.

i walked in to the office to discover that nystire had brought me back drop from holland and left it on my desk - SWEET! that made my morning. that, and being really impressed by an israeli from the next office who tasted one and wasn't totally disgusted. in general, israelis can't stand liquorice - and salted makes them completely crazy :P

thursday morning shuttle driver: he's not only a misogynist, but a complete moron. unfortunately, in addition to keeping me awake with his "woman driver" shouting and inappropriate phone-calls, he told someone a really upsetting story about a bunch of new immigrants who came here just to get immigrant benefits before buzzing off. that behaviour disgusts me.

---
so, summary:
thursday was mostly a bummer, but the end of the workday was alright and training was okay too.
the party on thursday night was fantastic, extreme, and i'm *really* glad that i was invited.
today was excellent.

i just had a dinner that consisted of peanut butter with a spoon, buttered popcorn and a cup of tea. i don't actually have a reasonable explanation for why i did that. i watched two episodes of the big bang theory, did the laundry, uploaded the photos from the day, loaded a pickle jar with salted liquorice, and am now about to get some shuteye.

finally! and my nose is feeling better, too :)

a survival thing

getting up at 6am (yes, a bit later than usual), deliberately not having breakfast and then going hunting for a bakery prior to 7am was a bit silly. especially considering that this is tel aviv, a city where nobody's dumb enough to open a bakery at such a godly hour. [you see what i did there?]

i wasn't breathing easily, but hey - when you don't really have too many options... i organized ten large loaves of french bread, and another ten decent-sized rolls (all fresh out the oven), and then had to carry the stuffed bags on a bus to get to where my ride was picking me up.

this led to all manner of unfunny "what, are you feeding the whole army?" jokes.

after the regular 20+ minutes of waiting, we were headed to the base with what was apparently an intensely delicious and distracting smell. by dode wad thtuft, so i missed out.

the section breakfast was brilliant - not only did nobody cancel at the last minute, but we were even surprised by our SC rocking up unannounced with a giant birthday cake. our section's confectionary artist outdid himself, and about three others also brought in good home-baked goods. in short, we all overate and there was plenty left over to carry us through until the weekend ^_^

i couldn't do the work today without being able to breathe, and the effort was so tiring that i became disfunctional for a while. i was really glad when the clock approached 2pm and the goto guy and i could head off for tel aviv to be briefed about leaving the country :)

we made it with time to spare - time to obtain a caffeine source, time to witness a soldier trying desperately to rescue a fish from a dropped bowl, time to get lost and be led practically by the hand to where we'd started, time to sit and read a bit... the actual briefing only took about twenty minutes, and the guys made sense so it wasn't tedious at all.

so, yeah - two more rounds of authorization to go :)

it was sheer laziness that had me waiting for the bus, planning on going home to change and then pick up my ticket for tomorrow's goa reunion. that put me in the right place and at the right time to run into one of the party organizers, so not only did i get my ticket sorted far more easily than i would have otherwise, but i also had what constitutes the first real talk we've had since i met him in my university days. i wasn't expecting him to understand my uniform situation, but after discussing it i think he identified with it more than either of us would like...

i got home, squeezed myself an incredible cup of orange juice (perfect oranges), then passed out on the couch. when i'd acquired enough energy to get into the shower i did, then unsuccessfully tried to get back to sleep.

i was fiddling with the guitar when urchin rocked up, and we had an awkward discussion concerning my lack of patience for impractical speech* and telephones in general. i think she's offended, but i can't fairly say i'm particularly moved by that.

* nonsense is practical. the perpetual moan isn't. this is why i don't like talking about my present situation, because it's not only depressing but pointless too. at least there are finally glints of light forming in the distance :)

mmm... katjes.
i'm intrigued by the new fuck buttons album (tarot sport) - i don't know how long it'll stay on my playlist, but it's definitely good. that's another interesting introduction from qc.

i'm considering how good of an idea it is to have my hair cut now in preparation for my holiday. it's been a month, and i'm not sure it's long enough yet, but i'm worried that it might be too long to get away with before i leave in another month's time. i suppose i can always shave my head before i go - i don't like the in-between phases - but i don't really want to not have hair.

i'm going to bed early, wondering if i'll have the energy after the next couple of days to join heeblet for another 60km blade on saturday...

exquisite!!

what a stunning blade - urban, in perfect weather, with a really comfortable group in general and mostly spent chatting with heeblet while skirting all the little dangers and skids. i love this city!

i found my old house collection, the first track on when i got back inside was three 'n one - reflect, from which i'm still grinning. these are the moments when it doesn't matter what time i have to get up, and it most certainly doesn't matter if i'm healthy or not - that was great fun!

you spin me right round

the first article in the new wired is pretty dark - and very difficult to argue with. as i have for the last ten years*, i believe that the best way to save ourselves is to get away.

* almost exactly! it all began on the fifth of december 1999...

i was irked to discover from nystire that our instructor passed on information that i'd asked her not to. i don't know how much, but the principle of the thing is trust and discretion. not impressed. other than that, the stories out of holland are quite amusing, and although i wasn't really in a good place to be competing, i'm sorry i couldn't join them for the forms competition.

i did some serious shopping today: waterless soap, hand moisturizer, honey and chai tea. i think i'm ready for the winter now. all i need is my breathing apparatus back - gunked sinuses are a bitch.

my japanese appears to be improving, and my phone's picture editing ability impressed me no end today when i turned (the closest transration i could find of) my previous one into kanji / hiragana (with a stylish border) :)

it drizzled on me three times this morning, and i thought that meant no blading tonight: i was wrong. as i got home, i rolled out to the shop (getting totally lost on the way, one of these days i'm going to mission around there just to get my bearings) to make an ass of myself*, then met up with nemesis** for coffee (good call on the coffee shop, i learned what a hot toddy is and the girls were fine).

* the first wheel nut practically sprang loose. "you're just weak". then i tried the next one, and broke it. after he replaced it for me, he caught me over-tightening the others... "you can't do that!"
that's how i was taught, many, many years ago. i'll have to unlearn, i guess.

** they let me in the mall, but then a cop threw me out. i don't think he was expecting me to stop and make sure that it was really within his authority to do so.

on the way back i had a super-awkward talk with urchin... now i've had tea, prepared coffee, received an extremely positive email from my mum (yay! one more month!), sorted out the laundry, and am on my way out for the night :)

smalltalk too

on any given day, the probability of any of the people i know having had a worse day than mine is relatively small. on a day like today, which begins with me largely unimpressed at waking up at 2am with a burning throat (some tears, anguish, and tea with honey took about half an hour to get me back to sleep), when i'm forced to admit that i'm sick, under time pressure for a large workload and unable to focus on the screen long enough to get what's going on, when i'm physically sore and wobbly and i draw short straw on cleaning duty...

... on a day like today, calling me up before work's over to moan about an issue that's already a non-issue is annoying.

... on a day like today, when i call back so as not to be rude, you sharing a new problem to worry about is uncalled for.

... on a day like today, telling me that my suggestion isn't filled with enough fluffy bunnies and that i should lie to calm you down is looking for trouble.

... on a day like today, pulling a "moving along swiftly" to a new topic, one hardcore eyebrow-raiser that forces me to think "O RLY??!" is just conversational suicide.

... on a day like today, responding with "whatever" when i tell you that i'll call you back because i can't talk right now?

now i'm not so sure that i will call you back.

---
i know i don't play so well with others. i'm in for practicality and appropriateness*. you want a lie? don't ask me for one. my biggest problem in life is being too honest. and i'm usually quite comfortable like that. i also don't like saying nothing (and people like lots of nothing, i know), and i'm not very good with support that isn't useful.

* hence my issues with mouth-breather: he keeps going for smalltalk when we're in the middle of an exercise. i'm there to work, and to improve, and while kidding around doesn't bother me - talking random shit at equally random intervals aggravates me. looking hurt when i respond curtly is pushing my "beat me to death with a tyre-iron" button.