worse? or better?

 the battle of the mold continues. we continue to find horrifying things - this morning we discovered that our bedside tables / drawers were covered. WTAF?!?!

we can only deal with this insane shit one aspect at a time, we seem to be making progress but it's hard... it's demoralizing, and it's exhausting, and it's difficult to ignore the creeping paranoia. gd and i are both taking this stuff very hard, but we're trying to be stoic and pragmatic and learn all the lessons so we never have to deal with this again.

...

mr smear returned to mma today, it wasn't easy to get him there but between myself this morning and gd this afternoon we managed. horseman sent me a link to this clip of huberman and goggins discussing the function of the anterior cingulate cortex (citation needed) yesterday, and minutes ago i read an excellent article entitled "stop telling kids what to do with their lives".

i feel like we're doing what we should be doing: guiding mr smear (sometimes forcing him) to do things that will help him develop in a healthy way and open doors for him, while at the same time impressing upon him the importance of finding his own way in life. hopefully a way that'll make him and others happy.

...

work was surprisingly good today, in spite of it being a "remote day" in which my boss sat with the three of us who'd arrived and playing a disney soundtrack playlist for most of the afternoon. at least his mood/taste improved a bit towards the evening. i wasn't happy about my current task having taken as long as it did, but it involved a lot of learning and a lot of unexpected challenges, and it was great being able to present a solution that we're all happy with.

and when my boss asked me for a last-minute modification that i thought was going to be a big deal, it was a big relief to find myself clearing it before home-time.

...

i knew that going to bed early might be a problem. i must have slept for about an hour or so, and have now spent the last hour or two in a bit of a stupor, physically uncomfortable, and anxious (mostly about the mold situation).