more cough

i began writing all this down at the end of a long day, which mainly felt long because of the coughing. it's exhausting. it's the only symptom of whatever the heck this is, but it's hardcore nonetheless. i got about halfway (and it's not even a long post) and urgently needed to lie down. i've just gotten up, it was a night that was part coughing fits, part vividly weird dreams, and i'm a bit confused right now because i'm not sure if my cough has lessened or not. i'm also not sure if my neck's okay or not (i've been having trouble with my left arm going numb, right now it's only threatening).

friday:

we began the day with a shopping run at azrieli, then took a break, and then my mom and i walked to pick up gifts and coffee.

we went to our cousins on friday evening for a really nice dinner in spite of our coughs.

saturday:

we all got up later than planned, but got through to our cousin's kibbutz at a reasonable time. we had a delicious lunch and then headed to the pool for an absolutely lovely afternoon that really did feel like vacation. then we drove home, returning just in time for dinner.

sunday:

i worked from home, while my family tried and failed to get to some museum in holon and then accompanied mr smear to his mma class. it was a difficult day, primarily so because i wasn't feeling great and had exactly zero motivation. partially "just because", but partially because i needed to do something big and complicated without any way to verify that i was doing the right thing. i eventually managed to build out what i needed, but kept hitting brick walls trying to get it to run. 

and then it was time for a meeting with one of firefighter's team.

it was a fascinating evening of oversharing in both directions, and by the end of it i was convinced that i'd like to join them. apparently he feels the same way, so i'm waiting to be informed about how we proceed.

i came home feeling very good about things.

yesterday:

i slept badly and woke up badly. in spite of that, it was a reasonably good morning and i managed to take care of our holiday reservations for tomorrow and thursday. yay!

i had something to take care of at the clinic before work, and arrived there just as a blind man entered, and he was having trouble and needed assistance. i sorted him out with a ticket and showed him to a chair, then left him (with other people who i assumed could help him) to get mine. i heard them call his number and saw him move towards the door, but then registered that he was going in the wrong direction.

i went to go and check on him, and then registered something really messed up - he'd bumped into a woman who'd been standing at the door, and instead of helping him, she took his turn! i was stunned, and i told the pharmacist what had happened, and then i walked out trying to put together a narrative that made sense.

but i couldn't. and it's still bothering me that i didn't do what i *should* have done, which was a) yell at the woman for being a piece of shit and b) tell the pharmacist to stop serving her immediately and give the poor man his turn.

the day at the office was alright, with a funny interlude for lunch. i'd brought leftovers and ghost pepper hot sauce (not as hot as the scorpion pepper sauce, but still pretty got) and was offering it to everyone. the american girl who works with us is also a fan of hot ones, she used a lot of sauce, and the results were amusing 😂

the next hour or two were spent with our feisty italian, the time was spent constructively and there was a revelation at the end because he hadn't understood why i wasn't phased by a problem that he'd thought he'd conveyed effectively, when in fact i'd thought he was talking about something else entirely.

context matters.

the end of the day was triumphant, i finally managed to get my code running as intended and left just in time to pick up mr smear and my mom and head to the shuk. we picked up some things, we had a beer, it was a pleasant evening.

...

i'm no longer confused about my coughing, it's definitely back with a vengeance.